Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 17 The Infinite Magic Power of Emotional Intelligence (7)
Sun Fuming's coach Liu Yongfu commented on this student as "honest and honest".In his opinion, Sun Fuming's success lies largely in her peaceful personality. Judo is actually a way of being a human being, and she pays attention to using softness to overcome rigidity. Her personality is in line with the principle of "Tao". Of course, hard work is behind any success.When Sun Fuming was in the Liaoning team, she trained very hard. Like some young players, she had to get up early for training at five o'clock every day, and often worked overtime until nine or ten o'clock at night, not to mention weekends and holidays.Regarding her hard work and perseverance, Coach Liu couldn't help but feel distressed and said: "One minute on stage, ten years of work off stage, this sentence makes sense."

Sun Fuming is considerate and considerate, he is kind, and he really treats people very well.When preparing for the Athens Olympics, Sun Fuming was a key team member. There were six or seven small players in the team as her training partner. She would inevitably get injured when she fell and fell in judo. , If she touches it, she will definitely try to avoid touching that place, even if there is really no way to avoid it, she will try to touch it lightly. Before the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games, she was injured, so she was willing to be a training partner for her teammate Yuan Hua. In fact, she had completely recovered before the start of the Olympic Games. She is the defending champion.However, Sun Fuming didn't want to cause trouble for the team or the coach, so he continued to do a good job as a training partner.Sun Fuming still wants to comfort others when others bring her troubles. She said that she has a big heart.

Although it can be said that Sun Fuming has achieved great success, she still has to continue to serve the country.She will not retire in a short time, because the country still needs her now, and she also needs to continue to prove her worth on the field.

Different sports require different personalities, but there is one thing that must be possessed: not afraid of hardship.Judo is a "fight" between people. It requires hard work, but it also needs a humane element.Sports in our modern society is really a kind of spiritual belief.

At the World Short Course Championships in Gothenburg, Le Jingyi, who won two bronze medals in the 50m and 100m freestyle, made great contributions to winning two gold medals for the Chinese team in the relay race with good results close to the world level.Talking about this competition, Le Jingyi said: It is too tiring to carry the burden of being a champion. I have learned to start from scratch and treat every competition with a normal heart.The reason why coach Zhou Ming can cultivate a mature and high-level athlete like Le Jingyi so quickly and well is the result of his training on non-intellectual factors.

Zhou Ming always regards the cultivation of the healthy personality of athletes as a top priority.He believes that this will benefit athletes for life.As an Olympic gold medalist, Le Jingyi has a group of admirers in the team, and she has someone who takes the initiative to "serve" her in everything. Over time, she gets used to it.Zhou Ming, who observed the changes in love carefully, saw it in his eyes and was anxious.Respect for others is an important part of interpersonal communication. If Le Jingyi does not understand this, then she cannot have a sound personality.And this kind of insufficiency is likely to make her narrow-minded and worry about gains and losses. It will not only affect her future sports performance, but also her future life. Zhou Ming waits for the opportunity and must take care of it.

The opportunity came, once the team was going to Switzerland for a game, Zhou Ming wanted to go out to buy a mobile phone for the coach of the team, Le Jingyi asked him to bring back a mobile phone battery, Zhou Ming agreed, but because he bought a lot of mobile phones, he couldn’t do it What Le Jingyi entrusted.After returning, when Le Jingyi heard that she didn't buy batteries for her, she casually said: "You are too selfish." In front of several young team members, Zhou Ming immediately snapped furiously: " Make it clear that you are the one who asked me to do something, and there are so many coaches who haven't bought their mobile phones, so it's your business that matters? Are you selfish or I am selfish..." Le Jingyi was stunned.Afterwards, Zhou Ming confided in his heart why he made such a fuss, had a frank talk with Le Jingyi, and told her that the reason why she wanted to "take the opportunity to teach" in front of the new team members, Zhou Mingyu responded earnestly. Le Jingyi said: "Only by respecting others can you get respect from others. No matter when, no matter who has done something for you, you should be grateful. Only in this way, you will not get lost in future interpersonal relationships. Myself..." Le Jingyi, who suddenly came to his senses, widened his eyes and nodded solemnly.There is no doubt that this incident will affect her life.

After Atlanta returns, Zhou Ming will hand over the training tasks of his own group to Le Jingyi to be responsible for part of them.In addition to handing Le Jingyi the "lesson preparation book" in which he wrote a one-week training plan, he also handed her a letter, which reads: From now on, start learning how to be a qualified coach member.Practicing well by yourself is the best "guidance". Only when you have confidence in the plan you have practiced and put it into action, your "team members" will do according to "your requirements" and believe that what you do is the right thing to do. correct and valid.The key to coaching work is seriousness (intent), practicality (practice), and carefulness (observation). There is no panacea. Everything starts from the simplest and external factors related to training (daily life, diet, treatment, etc.) ... After reading this letter, Le Jingyi smiled.So, while practicing hard, she took care of the training of the juniors and sisters according to the arrangement of the coach.After a week, I am organized and able to do my job with ease...

The maturity of a person is not about physical development, but more importantly, he is open-minded, tolerant, and willing to work hard for him.

In 2004, the two most eye-catching biographies in the sports world were Liu Xiang's "I Am Liu Xiang" and Yao Ming's "My World My Dream". Reading their hard struggles and success stories will definitely be helpful to everyone inspired.

In July 2002, Liu Xiang broke Li Tong's eight-year Asian record with a time of 7 seconds. At the same time, he broke the world youth record held by the black American athlete Hermia for 13 years.From that moment, people all over the world noticed that a "Chinese whirlwind" blew up by an oriental boy on the orange runway.The sprint at the Athens Olympics set a new world record.Now in terms of income, besides Yao Ming, Chinese athletes are ranked next to Liu Xiang.But in fact, on many occasions, Liu Xiang has never been a champion. After the Athens Olympic Games, once, Liu Xiang took a taxi from home to Xinzhuang Base. When he got in the car, he told the driver the destination, and the driver habitually flipped down the price tag. , and then glanced in the rearview mirror: "Ah? Isn't this Liu Xiang?" The driver didn't say anything, and he pushed up the price tag he had just turned down: "Free!" This made Liu Xiang anxious, After talking all the way, I finally paid the toll according to the number of kilometers after arriving at the destination.Liu Xiang is not stingy when it comes to spending money, but on the other hand, he never spends money like water.Another time when I went to Shenzhen, the organizer arranged for him to stay in a luxurious hotel room. When I was hungry at night, I asked him to have supper at the hotel.The main station said that the organizer was only responsible for the room fee, and he had to pay for the supper himself. Liu Xiang repeatedly applauded: "It's best to bear it yourself, so as not to spend other people's money." So he ordered two steaks, two bowls of small wontons, and a plate of fruit.When checking out, the asking price is more than 12 yuan including the service fee.Liu Xiang paid the bill calmly, closed the door, and smiled: "Oh, I didn't expect it to be so expensive, and I was slaughtered!" Indeed, apart from some dinners, Liu Xiang mostly ate in the cafeteria of the Xinzhuang Base.Every time Liu Xiang enters the cafeteria, a cafeteria worker will pick up the walkie-talkie and say, "Liu Xiang is here, you can start cooking." Within 8 minutes, there will be two pots of stir-fried vegetables with special attention to nutrition and a bowl of soup. table, the entire base, only Liu Xiang has this treatment.Every time, Liu Xiang would always politely thank the masters and aunts in the canteen, then pick up the two pots of vegetables, first go to the place where Sun Haiping and other coaches were sitting, and ask them to share half. Sometimes, Liu Xiang would share with his teammates share.Regarding food, Liu Xiang is not picky, and in his eyes, delicacies from mountains and seas are no match for the dishes cooked by his mother.Liu Xiang has no special requirements for living, as long as he sleeps comfortably.At the Xinzhuang Base, Liu Xiang lived in a room with the other team members the same as other team members.After the Athens Olympics, the base offered to give Liu Xiang a single room, but he declined because he didn't want to be special.As for his own home, Liu Xiang has no big requirements.Now the whole family lives in a two-bedroom house in Putuo District, Shanghai.After the Athens Olympics, Liu Xiang was awarded a house according to regulations. The Putuo District Government selected several houses for Liu Xiang’s family. Liu Xiang’s parents finally chose a commercial house. , but I have the responsibility to make my parents live more comfortably and spaciously.” Liu Xiang said.

Some people say that Liu Xiang is a 20-year-old man with a 30-year-old brain, mature and intelligent, and has a good psychological quality.Among the athletes in our country, Liu Xiang's training is definitely not the hardest, but his performance has risen the fastest.In addition to Liu Xiang's hard work and talent, Sun Haiping's "just right approach" is the key factor.After Liu Xiang entered the first team, the time Sun Haiping spent with Liu Xiang definitely exceeded the time Liu Xiang spent with his father, so in a sense, Sun Haiping also had the same right to speak as Liu Xiang's father.When Liu Xiang joined the team at the age of 15, Sun Haiping put a lot of thought into it.Physical training is comprehensive and comprehensive, not only to train technical tactics, improve psychological quality, but also to learn how to behave.In life, Liu Xiang is polite, filial, and has strong self-control. "Actually, when Liu Xiang was young, in life, I was worried about other team members, but I was very worried about him, because he can control himself very well." Sun Haiping said.After the Athens Olympic Games, Liu Xiang had to attend activities and give reports everywhere for a while. Sun Haiping was worried that he would not be able to handle it or was not used to it, but what Liu Xiang said later on various occasions made Sun Haiping give a thumbs up: "This child, you can Yes." Every New Year, usually on the second day of the Lunar New Year, Liu Xiang's family will go to Sun Haiping's house to pay New Year's greetings.After the Athens Olympics, when Liu Xiang was too busy to go home, he went to visit Sun Haiping's mother in the nursing home. "Recalling now, Liu Xiang moved me the most because of this incident." Sun Haiping said, "It is also fate that this kid can be his coach."

The high quality of the world champion is manifested in the arrogance on the field and the humility after the game.

There are two Chinese players in the American NBA, Wang Zhizhi and Yao Ming, but their fates are very different. Is the reason due to technology?No, it's about character.Wang Zhizhi gives people the impression that he is a dull and honest man who "can't kick a fart".Maybe he is the kind of honest person who is naturally introverted. In the Chinese team, everyone generally likes the honest person, but the honest person may not be liked in the American team.

Many commenters who have met the two of them said that unlike Wang Zhizhi, Yao Ming is much more relaxed in communication.Only by being able to get along with people easily at ordinary times can we fight tacitly with teammates on the battlefield.Silence is the enemy of communication.For coaches and teammates to like and accept you, you first have to be understood.How can people help you if they don't understand you?Yao Ming's ability to play like a fish in water is certainly due to his skills, but for many people who did not watch football in the past but now watch Yao Ming, what attracts them is something other than his skills.We feel sorry for Wang Zhizhi. There may be some differences between Wang Zhizhi and Yao Ming's conditions, but it is basically a difference in personal emotional intelligence. Wang Zhizhi is not suitable for the American environment. He is too silent, and he is not suitable for life in the United States.This may have something to do with objective conditions, because Dazhi has a girlfriend when he comes to the United States, and he doesn’t need to chat with anyone, and he doesn’t need to socialize with others, so his personality is relatively closed, and he has a close relationship with the team, coaches, and teammates. Not enough communication.He was the first Chinese to enter the NBA. When he came here, he was better than Yao Ming in terms of skill and fame in China. But now in the NBA, he is the absolute main force alone. One of the most popular stars in the league, a In the team but can't play, can't make the playoff list, the difference is still too big.

Obviously, compared with Da Zhi, Yao Ming is a smart and hard-working athlete. He pays great attention to what he says, not to offend others.The most important thing for a foreigner to come to the United States is English. Yao Ming understands this very well. He studied English hard, and his English improved a lot after one year.To be honest, he has improved much faster than Wang Zhizhi in terms of language.Among the three center forwards hyped by the media, from the perspective of language, Yao Ming is also the best, Wang Zhizhi is mediocre, and Battelle simply doesn't understand.Yao Ming also changed the image of the Chinese. In the past, Americans thought that Chinese people would read books and were nerds, but Yao Ming changed the concept of Americans.The United States is a country that advocates individual heroism, while the Chinese emphasize moderation and are afraid of standing out. Now Yao Ming plays very well, speaks beautifully, and has his own unique and charming personality. Americans feel that Chinese people are not what they imagined That way, not so short and thin.Yao Ming has indeed made Chinese people proud and proud. One of his greatest roles is in terms of image. Although it is intangible, it is of great value.Now Yao Ming regards himself as a window to China, as if his words and deeds represent the image of the Chinese in the United States, so he is cautious and cautious everywhere, which has become a trick.

Now, teammates, referees, coaches and even opponents are saying that Yao Ming is not domineering, lacks aggression, has no fighting spirit in the game, does not argue with referees, and does not fight against opponents.If you say nice things, Yao Ming is a gentleman; if you say bad things, Yao Ming is a coward.What an absurd statement!If Yao Ming is not domineering, how can he explain his severe criticism of his teammates in the Olympics?If Yao Ming is not aggressive, how can he explain how he ruthlessly pushed his opponents down in the Olympic Games?But why is there such a big contrast between Yao Ming representing the Chinese team and representing the Rockets?The reason is simple, Yao Ming is indisputable NO in China. 1. That’s why he dared to criticize his teammates, so he dared to drive his teammates with his own actions, and even dared to overthrow provocative opponents. Yao Ming when he represented China was like Francis when he represented the Rockets.Yao Ming is full of arrogance, but he is also very cautious. He dared to show his shortcomings to Chinese basketball, and pointed out sincerely, "Without physical (quality), there is no way to develop skills and consciousness. For example, a relatively light Thugs, others can still make shots, but we can’t; we used to despise physical training in training.” He compared us to being like a “pauper” who digs holes and jumps by himself.These shortcomings are actually a way of thinking for future efforts. Only those who continue to make up for their own shortcomings will continue to make progress.Liu Wei, the main point guard of the national men's basketball team and the Shanghai team, is also Yao Ming's best friend.He is really happy for the success of his "Best Party", "This is what he deserves, he must have arrogance, otherwise he would not have reached the height he is now. There is one thing about Yao Ming. Like the previous two years, everyone had a lot of doubts about him. He didn’t say anything, but silently responded to these doubts with his own actions. Just like Barkley said before, Yao Ming will score as many points as he will. Kiss the ass of a donkey. Yao Ming has proved his ability through facts one by one."

Yes, silence is not cowardice, silence means outbreak.

(End of this chapter)