Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 2 Emotional Intelligence - We used to ignore it (2)
Typically, the average teenager has an IQ of between 90 and 110, while those with an IQ above 130 are known as "gifted" teenagers.Statistics show that the rate of "gifted" teenagers among their peers is about 2%.It is often said that "a genius is only one step away from an idiot", "high IQ" is sometimes considered "low EQ", and "high EQ" is sometimes a manifestation of "low IQ".For example, Forrest Gump, the protagonist of the world-famous movie "Forrest Gump", is a typical example.He's a gifted athlete, fighter, businessman, but we've known since childhood that he's been laughed at as an idiot.Is he really an idiot?Intellectual retardation certainly puts people at a distance from success, but success does not always belong to geniuses with high IQs.Success belongs to those who have a perfect combination of high IQ and high EQ.We can learn a lot from Forrest Gump. The most important thing we can learn is to concentrate on doing our own thing well. The one thing that "geniuses" and "idiots" have in common is to stick to one point, do our best, and never reach The purpose does not stop.A-Gump is not destined to be an outstanding person by nature.But God is so fair-often, it will make people with a low starting point realize the truth in life earlier and more deeply than those who are born with a sense of superiority.From having an IQ of only 75 and having to enter a special school, to a rugby player, to a hero in the Vietnam War, to being the captain of a shrimp boat, to traveling all over the United States... Forrest Gump, with his congenitally defective body, has reached the level of many people with sound intelligence and may spend his whole life. Also unattainable heights.Some people often feel that the burden of life is too heavy, and there are many difficulties in front of them on the road of life, so they are downcast and depressed all day long.Where's Forrest Gump?At every stage of life, there is a goal in his heart to guide him, and he only strives for it steadfastly, unremittingly, and firmly until the completion of this goal or the emergence of a new goal.If there is no simple choice, there will be no distracting thoughts of the mind; and those who have no distracting thoughts of the mind can probably be able to lift weights in life with ease.It is precisely because his beliefs are so simple and his goals are so clear, even if he is congenitally deficient or even faced with poor mountains and rivers, the lovely Forrest Gump can definitely look at them with an absolutely ordinary heart, and finally overcome them one by one. .This is by no means just "stupid people have stupid blessings" can be explained.Therefore, we prefer to believe that only those who maintain Forrest Gump's life attitude and strong will can lighten their own many burdens on life, so as to reach the pinnacle of life and obtain their ultimate glory.

The play won six awards at the 1995th Academy Awards in 67 for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Screenplay Adaptation, Best Editing, and Best Visual Effects. The director was Robert Zemeckis.The important thing is that this film has influenced a generation's thinking about life: who is a fool and who is a genius around us?
People often think that compared with ordinary teenagers, teenagers with high IQs tend to have defects in emotional intelligence, such as love to be alone, irritability, bad temper and so on.However, Professor Detlev Rost, a professor of psychology at the University of Marburg in Germany, pointed out that this prejudice has no basis, and the emotional intelligence of "genius" teenagers is not significantly different from that of ordinary teenagers.Due to their extraordinary intelligence, these teenagers are often considered to have strong abilities in other aspects of life, so they often need to judge and deal with more things on their own. People also have higher demands on them than ordinary children, resulting in certain The psychological pressure, seem to live in isolation.Ordinary teenagers are more relaxed, and receive relatively more preferential treatment in life and other aspects.This may be the reason for the difference in the performance of the two characters.If a "genius" with a high IQ does not have a normal "emotional intelligence", such a "genius" is untenable, and Einstein's example is the most obvious.

★Einstein of "mentally retarded"
Albert Einstein was born into a Jewish family.Einstein had a strong curiosity about various things since he was a child. When he was 5 years old, his father bought him a compass, which was a children's toy.When Albert stared at the "magic needle" pointing south, he was so excited that he could hardly fidget.He felt that this little thing was so miraculous. Although he didn't know what the magnetic field theory was at the time, he felt instinctively that there were countless mysteries in nature, and he was standing in front of a fascinating world. So, He has had a strong desire to explore nature since he was a child.With his own high IQ, Einstein's scientific ideas are very novel and incredible.until today.His theories about time and space—the theory of relativity; his theory about tiny particles—quantum theory, etc., still greatly influence scientists' views on atoms and the universe.There are not many people in the world who can truly be called "geniuses".But Einstein certainly deserved it.His theories have transformed nearly every area of ​​physics.Without these theories.Now lasers, televisions, computers, space travel and many other things.It just doesn't show up.However, Einstein was not happy during his childhood schooling. The teachers thought he was not very smart and treated him very unfriendly.Once, the teacher sent his report card, and his father felt very sad after reading it.The teacher said to his father: "This child is mentally retarded, doesn't like socializing with others, and always wanders in his own dreams in a daze." The classmates also nicknamed Einstein - "Little Lonely Old Man" .But Albert did not notice the elders' worries.He felt that the world was full of wonders, and his mind was like a wild horse wanting to run.He felt that he was alone in exploring the world.He needs no companions.He played in the garden, or walked down the street singing songs he had made up.He is unbelievably living a happy life.

The exercise of emotional intelligence is closely related to the cultivation of art. Einstein's obsession with music is no less than his obsession with nature.Einstein's mother was a talented pianist. Under the influence and education of his mother, he began to learn to play the violin at the age of 6.Music excited him so much that whenever his mother played a Mozart or Beethoven sonata on the piano, he would stand motionless and listen raptly.Although he was good at music, his grades in many subjects were poor.However, he had a strong interest in mathematics. During the period from 12 to 16 years old, Einstein became familiar with the basic principles of mathematics and had a certain understanding of the research status of natural science.Before long, his expertise in mathematics and theoretical science was recognized.

In 1896, he entered the Department of Physics and Mathematics of the Federal Polytechnic Institute. Graduated in 4 years.Until 1902, when he found a position as a "Technical Assessor Third Class" at the Berne Patent Office, he spent hours at his desk calculating numbers while dreaming of the stars in the sky.He told his girlfriend: "I have been trying to solve the problem of space and time." In March 1905, Einstein published "A Heuristic Viewpoint on the Generation and Transformation of Light".He proposed the quantum theory, successfully explained the photoelectric effect that classical physics cannot explain, and opened up the research in the field of quantum mechanics, which also won him the Nobel Prize in Physics in 3. In 1921, Einstein published an epoch-making paper "On the Electrodynamics of Motion Physics". The establishment of this theory not only suggested the essential unity of mechanical motion and electromagnetism motion in kinematics, but also laid a solid foundation for the development of atomic energy. It provides a theoretical basis for its development and utilization.

Planck, another great physicist of the 20th century, wrote to Einstein and said: "Your theory will bring about the same battle as Copernicus' worldview." He also recommended Einstein In 1908 became an associate professor at the University of Bern.But Planck was also unaware of the profound changes relativity brought about in physics.Einstein replaced Newton's absolute space-time concept with the relative concept of space-time, challenging the experience that has bound mankind for thousands of years and the authority that has been handed down in the scientific community for nearly 300 years. The observation of the total solar eclipse in 1919 coincided with the prediction made by Einstein’s theory of relativity. On November 11, the New York Times used “The light in the sky is all crooked, Einstein’s theory wins!” as a striking headline.For Einstein, science was everything.Science was his life, and he devoted himself devoutly to it.Until his later years, the desire to explore the subtleties of God and the natural laws of order and harmony still occupied his heart. ★
Therefore, our concept of "genius" cannot be limited to the level of intelligence, and the influence of "emotional intelligence" factors must not be ignored.Einstein's state of mind can be said to be a kind of persistence and obsession, calm and remote, and in the world of music and art, he can find his spiritual home.He will not be lonely, lonely, hopeless, and depressed. All these "emotional intelligence" factors have played a role that cannot be ignored in his success.

(In the third section, a new talent concept is born——Emotional Intelligence

Phineas suffered a severe brain injury in an accident. After the injury, Phineas did not change intellectually, but he had obvious changes psychologically.This phenomenon has led people to uncover the secrets of emotional intelligence.

It was a cold, wet dawn, Phineas Gage's last day at work on time.As a foreman, he led his colleagues in the task of building the Burlington Railroad across Vermont.They've been working for 18 months and have made considerable progress, but they must now conquer the impenetrable terrain made of rock.In the company, Phineas was one of the most efficient and capable foremen.The discipline and passion he developed ensured that projects were completed on time, and the social accolades he received endeared him to the teams he managed. "A quick, quick-witted businessman," he kept his word, avoiding local pubs for drinking and partying, and getting along with family and friends.

As usual, Phineas and his colleagues leveled the road bit by bit, shuttled back and forth along the uneven terrain according to the required progress, and carried out blasting operations.As a rule of thumb, Phineas filled the hole with his usual iron rod for compacting the mud.Before continuing on the next round trip, Phineas signaled to his assistants to fill the embrasure holes with sand—a layer of sand that protects the gunpowder from exploding prematurely when iron rods are used to fill the boreholes.As Phineas turned to start the next back and forth, he was startled by the cacophony behind him.Glancing over his right shoulder, he saw that his buddies in the pit had knocked over a large rock, which they were using a crane to transfer onto a rail flat car.Phineas sighed softly, regretting the setback, and continued with his pounding.And his assistant was completely distracted by the noise and failed to fill the blast hole with sand.Phineas' iron rod rubbed against the rock of the blasthole wall, and the sparks generated ignited the unprotected gunpowder at the bottom, and the impact of the explosion sent Phineas' iron rod like a rocket.The iron rod pierced his face under his left eye and continued up the top of his head and out, washing out the entire front of his brain.

Over the next few weeks, the wounds on his body healed, thanks to intensive treatment by Dr. Harlow.The accident appeared to be unimpaired apart from scarring and impaired vision in his left eye.

Phineas' survival and quick recovery has left his family and friends baffled.But when he tried to return to the company as usual, his colleagues realized that Phineas was not the same Phineas they used to know.The first is that his temperament is different from what it used to be, he curses like a sailor, and often gives contradictory orders at will; he who used to be never late is now indifferent to work.The contractor who had praised him as the ablest foreman was forced to terminate his employment.

In the 11 years that Phineas lived after his accident, he visibly changed his temperament.Dr. Harlow's detailed notes describe the total change in Phineas' behavior: "The injury appears to have disturbed his balance between intellect and feeling. He is now erratic, intermittently disrespectful, Impatient, vacillating...."

He made a full physical recovery, but those who knew him as a quick, intelligent, energetic, and indomitable industrialist recognized a psychological change.His heart has been unable to find balance.

More specifically, Phineas' emotional intelligence left his brain forever the morning of the accident.The pounding rod removed the front of his brain, and with it the ability to translate his stimuli and emotions into logical actions.Phineas became a human being who could just walk, talk, and be sentient, but one with a great lack of self-control.His intelligence is completely normal, he can do complex math problems, and he can also know the details of building a railway.Those he met thought his rude, impulsive behavior was just part of his personality, but his former acquaintances knew he hadn't been that way at all.They found that Phineas was an irrational and eccentric man, whose every impulse and emotion seemed to produce a momentary willful action.

In the midst of the din of all beings, "emotional intelligence" appeared so unexpectedly, it came to us with a loud voice.For a while, many "emotional intelligence" books sprung up like mushrooms after a spring rain, and the concept of "emotional intelligence" came out, which indeed caused quite a stir. People were amazed at an unknown development field:
The founders of Emotional Intelligence, Dr. Selavi and Dr. Meyer said: "EQ has become the most important psychological research result of this century."

"Reader's Digest" in the United States resolutely asked readers: "If you have mastered EQ, what else can you not use?"

The American "Time Magazine" even declared: "If you don't understand EQ, from now on, we declare: you are out of date!"

The United States has "EQ" monthly magazine, which advocates people: "Take the EQ test, you will find a brand new you!"

The American EQ Association was also established quickly, with the purpose of researching and publicizing the role of EQ and proving its importance.The association's manifesto is: "Let us evolve one more time and become God of Wisdom!"

In recent years, foreign psychologists have put forward the concept of "new emotional intelligence", which has injected new vitality into EQ.

At the same time, almost every book about "emotional intelligence" has such words: "IQ has already belonged to the second place", "emotional intelligence determines everything", "without emotional intelligence, there is no success..." At least Such deafening words are written on the cover and back cover of each book: the book is a "life classic" in a complete sense, or a work on success, and what it wants to reveal is the mystery of success in life.In these mixed works, we can indeed find some inspirations for life. In our daily life, more and more people are beginning to pay attention to EQ, and EQ appears everywhere, roughly in the following categories:

Self-EQ: Self-EQ includes self-knowledge, self-awareness, self-affirmation, self-reliance and self-actualization.High self-EQ means that he can clearly understand his feelings, independent, focused, confident, good at expressing his emotions and thoughts, and influencing others.

Interpersonal EQ: Interpersonal EQ includes empathy, social responsibility, and relationships.The level of interpersonal EQ indicates whether a person has proficient social skills, whether he can understand the thoughts and emotions of others, and communicate and interact well with others.

Adaptive EQ: Adaptive EQ includes realistic judgment, flexibility, and problem solving.The level of adaptation EQ indicates the individual's ability to adapt to the environment, whether he can understand the essence of the problem, and come up with an effective solution to the problem.

Stress Management EQ: Stress Management EQ includes stress tolerance and impulse control.Stress Management People with a high EQ manage their emotions well, rather than becoming slaves to them, neither becoming depressed by depression or anxiety nor losing their minds by anger.Can be self-motivated, and can grit their teeth in the face of setbacks, and channel their impulse for the final goal.

Mood EQ: Mood EQ includes optimism and happiness.Mood EQ measures a person's attitude and satisfaction with life.Optimistic and positive life beliefs help us cope with stress, solve difficulties, etc.

To be precise, "Emotional Intelligence" is Emotional Intelligence, which is divided into four aspects: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills.Each aspect has five or six competencies, which include: awareness of emotions, correct self-evaluation, self-confidence, self-control, trustworthiness, conscience, innovation, adaptability, achievement drive, commitment, initiative, optimism, understanding others, Service orientation, helping others develop, making good use of multiple resources, political sensitivity, influence, communication, conflict management, leadership, catalytic change, relationship building, cooperation, teamwork.The latest results of human intelligence research show that the most accurate and amazing achievement evaluation standard is emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence have advantages in all areas of life. Emotional intelligence is the ability to determine a person's destiny.Therefore, in this society where risks and crises are ambushed on all sides, without high-quality "emotional intelligence", it will be difficult to deal with some unpredictable problems.In our own career, according to the above types of emotional intelligence, in order to achieve ourselves, in addition to having a high IQ, the following types of "emotional intelligence" awareness are also essential.

(End of this chapter)