Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 3 Emotional Intelligence - We used to ignore it (3)
One is the sense of competition and cooperation.If an individual does not have a strong sense of competition (or survival consciousness), it is difficult to gain a foothold in this highly competitive society, but blindly emphasizing competition may also lead to the opposite.Especially young people who are about to step into social competition should realize that cooperation comes first, and the purpose of competition is only to cooperate better.

The second is personal image awareness.The external image of the individual and the cultivation of the internal temperament are also very important to the success of the individual.Moreover, the personal image of employees represents the overall image of the company to a large extent. The most basic and effective way to shape a good corporate image is to carry out public relations for all employees and require every employee to work hard to shape a good corporate image.

The third is the awareness of role change, and quickly integrate into the corporate environment.The human resource department staff of most enterprises believe that slow role transition is an important factor affecting people's smooth employment.The current enterprise can be said to be "one radish and one pit". When an enterprise recruits employees, it needs them to quickly adapt to the working environment, enter a good working state, and create benefits for the enterprise.If you wait for a year or so to enter the state, I am afraid that no matter how "patient" the company is, it will not be interested in him.Therefore, quickly changing your role and adapting to your position will determine whether your career can win at the beginning.This is related to a person's ability to adapt.

The fourth is to love your work and have professionalism.It is true that today's society is a society with frequent personal talent flow, and it is no longer possible for us to only engage in one occupation for a lifetime like our parents did.However, no matter how you change jobs, professionalism is always necessary.To do what you do and love what you do is always a good word.Without enthusiasm, success is never possible. We will cite many successful examples later, from which we can find a lot of learning.

The fifth is the awareness of continuous learning, and we must always learn from the old and learn from the new.Information in modern society is changing rapidly, and it will be even more so in the future era of knowledge economy.Correspondingly, the enterprise will also require employees to have a broad mind, a broad vision, and face external things with an open mind.

In adversity and crisis, the power of emotional intelligence cannot be ignored.People with high emotional intelligence will never be overwhelmed by crises.The boss of a manufacturing company was suddenly told that his company had made mistakes on every bank loan and said they couldn't repay the loans or pay their employees.Soon, the team, including five of the company's top salespeople, left, causing huge losses.To make matters worse, his elderly parents are still using his bank checks, and he has to sit next to his elderly father, listening to the bankers carefully explain how his company's financial situation will completely collapse within the next 5 hours.When he came home and told his wife that he hoped to work out a solution together in a few hours, before the business he had built was destroyed, she said, "That's your problem." And she left, ended their marriage.Difficulties ensued, out of his control and sure to affect every area of ​​his life.However, his positive character withstood these unexpected attacks.He called personal friends to borrow money and assembled his team to devise an "escape strategy" that would allow them to pay off the debt and rebuild the company.Thanks to this "strategy," his company is currently making unprecedented profits.Facing the crisis bravely and struggling to get out of the crisis, you will see a bright future. However, people often regret and give up easily in a crisis.Here are some ways you can change this way of thinking and look forward, and as you do so, your emotional intelligence will improve without you even knowing it:
One is to raise your goals in life.There is a Chinese proverb: "Those who set big ambitions will achieve medium ambitions, those who set medium ambitions will achieve small ambitions, and those who set small ambitions will not achieve ambitions." Many people are surprised to find that the reason why they can't achieve the goals they have been striving for is because of their The main goal is too small and too vague to demotivate yourself.If your main goal doesn't fuel your imagination, it won't be possible to achieve it, so what really motivates you is this: Set a big goal that's both big and specific.Jump up and pick the apples.

The second is to leave the comfort zone.Lu Xun once said: "Life is easily tired by a comfortable life." We must constantly seek challenges, motivate ourselves, guard ourselves, and don't lie down in the comfort zone.A comfort zone should only be a safe haven, not a comfort zone.It's just a place where you deliberately relax and recharge before your next challenge.

The third is to grasp the emotions. "Impulse is the devil", people grow up hating water and long things, there will always be times when you are unhappy, so be mentally prepared.When a person is happy, wonderful changes will take place in the body, thereby gaining new motivation and strength.However, don't always try to have fun outside of yourself.The things that make you happy are not elsewhere, but on you. Learn to find happiness, especially when you are not happy.So, find your own highs and use them to keep motivating you.

The fourth is to strengthen rehearsal.As the saying goes, "be prepared for danger", "a person without foresight must have near-term worries". For a crisis, you must be prepared and "rehearse" a battle that is more complicated than you have to face.If you have a tricky job at hand and you are hesitant, you might as well pick a harder job and do it first.Whatever challenges you in life, you can challenge yourself with.That way, you can carve your own path to success.The true meaning of success is: the harsher you are to yourself, the more tolerant life is to you; the more tolerant you are to yourself, the harsher life is to you.

The fifth is to go to crisis.We must firmly believe that we can "live forever in the fire". Crisis can inspire us to do our best.Ignoring this phenomenon, we tend to foolishly create a life in pursuit of comfort, trying to design various more and more relaxed lifestyles, so that we can live in peace.Of course, we don't have to wait for crises or tragedies to come. Challenging ourselves from within is the source of our lives.

The sixth is to meet fear.We are not superhuman, and there must be many things to fear, but the most secret experience in the world is that after conquering fear, something safe and beneficial is ushered in.Overcoming even small fears will increase your confidence in your ability to create your own life.If you try to avoid fear, fear will chase you like a mad dog.At this time, the most effective way is to close your eyes and pretend that they don't exist.

(The similarities and differences between "IQ" and "EQ" in the fourth section
Simply put, the main differences between the two are:

1.physical and psychological
IQ is innate and belongs to the inherent structure of the brain, so it is a physiological category; EQ is a state of mind and belongs to the category of consciousness and psychology.

2.nature and nurture
IQ is innate and has genetic factors. We can only make up for "clumsiness" through acquired hard work; EQ is acquired, related to the living environment, and can be improved through careful training.Therefore, IQ changes very little in life, and it is almost fixed since childhood.The most basic skill of emotional intelligence is learned from parents, it will improve as a person grows naturally, emotional intelligence can be learned.The latest brain science research proves that the area of ​​the brain that manages emotions does not mature until the age of 20, which provides young people with opportunities to further develop their emotional intelligence.People can do better in terms of self-awareness, self-control, and understanding of others through hard work, so many schools in the United States now offer courses in this area.

3.inevitable and accidental
IQ is often considered to be inevitable in life, we cannot change much, it is beyond our control; EQ seems to be more accidental, we can achieve our goals by changing our behavior.First of all, you must recognize yourself and see where you are weak in emotional intelligence. For example, are you easily irritated?Is it not decisive?Are you afraid to stand up and fight for opportunities?Then keep practicing.At first, it may feel unnatural, uncomfortable, and as if it's not you.Just like bowling, it takes practice.

4.important and minor
This is a changing point of view. Before EQ came out, IQ ruled the world. Now, under the spiritual crisis and pressure, the important role of EQ has overwhelmed the tone of IQ and become the standard of measurement of talents. Only by understanding the two In order to make full use of the respective advantages of the two, we can do a job with ease in our life and work without panic.There are a lot of very smart, gifted experts in life, but they don't succeed because they can't get people to buy into their ideas, and that requires another set of talents, which is emotional intelligence.IQ is important if you work in research and development.But if you want to enter the market with your good ideas, you cannot rely on you alone. You have to organize a team, persuade others, and push it to the market. This is closely related to emotional intelligence.

If you want to quantify the two, there are already perfect quantitative standards for IQ. However, for EQ, Goleman said that it is difficult to directly measure EQ. First of all, it is a person's self-awareness.Many people are ignorant of themselves.In addition, we all try to make a good impression, so we all put on something, so it is more difficult to measure.An effective method is the "behavioral event interview", which uses a special method to let the interviewee tell a story, about four hours at a time.Then some experts will do the coding and quantification to see how many competencies you have for emotional intelligence.

An intelligence quotient is a measure of a person's performance on a test of intelligence.There are still different opinions on what intelligence refers to in human beings: thinking ability, the ability to learn from experience, the ability to respond appropriately to new situations, abstract reasoning, the ability to recognize joint relationships and make conclusions, etc., can be attributed to For IQ.Generally speaking, people tend to associate the level of IQ with the degree of academic education they receive and the level of vocational skills, such as diplomas and vocational qualification certificates.A person with a high IQ must be a person with excellent business skills, strong ability, and great ability, in addition to having extensive professional skills.After China's accession to the WTO, the society will need more talents in computer development and application, product marketing, pipeline engineering, and electronic engineering.Those who do not have strong technical ability or only talk on paper will inevitably be eliminated by market competition.Numerical and computing skills are not necessary for science and engineering majors. After joining the WTO, most talents should have them. The cooperation between departments and the smooth connection of company operations are inseparable from digital and computing.Know and maintain a wide variety of systems, from computer systems to product sales and even plumbing repair systems.The new occupational structure puts forward new requirements for the quality of talents. What kind of ability structure will top occupations need in the future?

First, there must be rich imagination and initiative.This is a skill that any organization, enterprise company employee needs.Being imaginative is conducive to collecting and obtaining extensive and large amounts of information and knowledge: imagination can also broaden thinking methods and horizons of observation. In other words, imagination can drive creativity and innovation to a certain extent.Gather information extensively and understand it and use it to guide the company into the future.It can make the company operate smoothly to obtain long-term high profits.It frees the company from the dilemma that it can only predict the next financial report.There used to be a best-selling book in the United States, "Send a Letter to Garcia". In this legendary story of "Sending a Letter", the hero named Rowan received a mission from President McKinley to send a letter to General Garcia. He did not have any excuses, but completed this "impossible task" with his absolute loyalty, sense of responsibility and initiative to create miracles.His deeds have been widely circulated all over the world for more than 100 years, inspiring thousands of people to fulfill their duties with initiative. Countless companies, institutions, and systems have had a book in their hands, hoping to shape the soul of their teams.

"Sending letters" has long been a symbol, a symbol of people's devotion to duty, fulfillment of promises, dedication, loyalty, initiative and honor.The influence of the idea conveyed by this story is unimaginable, enough to surpass any theoretical preaching. It is not limited to individuals, enterprises, institutions and a country, and even runs through human civilization. Just as the admirable author of this book, Albert Hubbard said: "Civilization is a long process of searching for such talents full of desire." The protagonist of the story, Rowan, said to us: I will do what I have decided!Make up your mind and choose with a high standard.Maybe things will drag me down, maybe I will get stuck in the process of completing the task.Sometimes I found myself in a swamp where I had to crawl, sometimes in desperate situations.However, as long as I can take a step forward, I will never give up, I will never give in.Running away is not an option for me.I will pursue perfection in every aspect of my life while completing tasks.Even if I fall, I will get up again, shake off the dust, and continue to work hard until I succeed!

Each of us should ask ourselves: "Am I the one who can send a letter to García? If I just know he is in the jungles of Cuba, can I find him? If I don't know him, and I don't know where he is, can I find him?" Can you send him the letter?" As long as you understand, where there is a will, there is a way.As long as you pursue your goals with your heart, you will surely succeed.We're all good at making excuses these days: why can't we do what we're expected to do?Why can't we do our job more perfectly?And so on, people have all kinds of excuses.Can I send the letter to Garcia?If someone asks me to send a message to Garcia, I think I can do it.It's not arrogance, it's self-confidence.I just know that if you hand me a letter and say, "Send it to Garcia," I will deliver it.Likewise, you can also send letters to Garcia.do the best!If someone tells you that you will never succeed in your life, don't believe it.Don't take such words to heart, because only you can determine your success.The choice is yours!Choose a goal, make a decision, take action, stick to it, and success is self-evident.Success is one percent inspiration plus 90.00 percent sweat.

Second, there must be strong organizational skills.Organizational ability, which has always been considered to be required by a small number of leaders, will become the focus of staff selection after China's accession to the WTO.Not only leaders, but even ordinary employees must have strong organizational skills.The current work has been systematized. For example, setting up work processes, formulating marketing policies, allocating financial and material resources in a unified manner, and coordinating and assigning tasks all require high-standard organizational planning capabilities.People's initiative should be brought into full play, not limited to the step-by-step traditional model.Organizational capacity is very important, and many departments need to be organized or reorganized in terms of material supply, work procedures, trade transactions, and financial opportunities.

Third, you must have the ability to understand the arts and sciences.The integration of arts and sciences requires employees to learn to use their personal talents to improve work experience. The integration of various knowledge can improve work efficiency.The famous scientist Qian Xuesen pointed out the important role of cultural and artistic accomplishment in scientific innovation with his personal practice and profound experience.The "emotional quotient index" of people's macro vision, image thinking, emotion, imagination and feelings are inseparable from the edification of art education.People with high artistic accomplishments are better able to perceive themselves, control impulse and anger, keep calm in the face of setbacks and failures, and have the courage to be full of confidence and hope, all of which are undoubtedly necessary for scientific research and scientific innovation Quality.

In addition, you must have the ability to persuade others.Persuasion and communication skills are language skills, people who know how to express information and ideas, and can listen to information and ideas.Business-to-company interactions require employees to deal with more and more interpersonal relationships and to have higher and higher lobbying skills.At the same time, in the originally fast-paced working environment, internal communication is even more important. Although time is like gold, without communication, there will be no source of motivation and development.Today, an effective worker should be good at introducing the information he has to others, expressing his ideas clearly, so that people can understand and support a particular point of view.

IQ is very important, but so is EQ.These new abilities are actually the performance of emotional intelligence. The secret of success lies in emotional intelligence. In Goleman's second book "Emotional Intelligence at Work", he cited a lot of data.The data comes from hundreds of large companies and government departments, including Asia, Europe and the Americas.These data all prove the importance of emotional intelligence.Their research divides people into two groups, one group is average workers, and the other group is people who perform outstanding performance, and then compare them.The result summarizes some competency characteristics of outstanding people.It turned out that these traits were all associated with emotional intelligence.The data shows that the combined effect of IQ and skills is not as large as that of EQ; and the higher the position, the greater the effect of EQ.In senior leadership, the role of emotional intelligence is almost 80.00%[-].After realizing this point, a considerable number of American companies, especially those multinational companies, when hiring a leader, not only look at his IQ, but also his EQ, such as his self-control ability, whether he is good at listening, whether he is Ability to empathize.EQ is not taught in general schools, but the secret of success lies in EQ.The attitude of the United States in this regard has changed a lot.The deans of the two best business schools in the United States, Harvard Business School and Stanford University Business School, said that they used to put too much emphasis on test scores, and now they have to change.

(End of this chapter)