Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 28 Emotional intelligence is an essential quality for successful people (8)
The brand of Peking University does not guarantee anything. What you can really rely on is what you get from Peking University.Therefore, you must work hard to find opportunities to apply what you have learned.In this regard, there is probably no difference whether Peking University or a top-notch school.Unfortunately, Lu Buxuan did not seem to have made deliberate efforts in this regard.In fact, although "qualified writers" are not a high-level occupation, there is a lot of social demand. As long as you really want to do it, plus the brand of the Chinese Department of Peking University, you will never fall to the street to sell meat reason.Speaking of this, I can't help but think of a sentence: character determines destiny.Whether Lu Buxuan's fate will change depends on his character and ideas, and has nothing to do with education or IQ.

★High school graduate: Wenzhou billionaire

The experience of college students is so miserable, but there are many people with low education who become billionaires.Zhou Dahu, chairman of Wenzhou Smoking Set Industry Association and chairman of Zhejiang Dahu Lighter Co., Ltd., is such a representative.The reason why Zhou Dahu has attracted attention is not only because he has a net worth of more than 3 million yuan, but also because of the following two points: first, Zhou Dahu did not follow the trend when counterfeit and shoddy lighters in Wenzhou were rampant; In 1995, it encountered difficulties in the international market, and lighters were one of the typical examples. As a result, Zhou Dahu was pushed to the foreground and became the spokesperson of this product.In addition, Zhou Dahu's ability to "make" this country in the lighter industry is also due to his character.If you don't have perseverance and endurance, it is very difficult to persevere.Speaking of Zhou Dahu's character, one word can be used to describe it: "competitive".There are two details that can explain Zhou Dahu's personality: he is good at football, he once formed the first amateur football team in Wenzhou, and won the championship twice in the province. At the end of July and the beginning of August 7, Zhou Dahu led the Wenzhou football team to Ningbo to participate in the provincial league.Wenzhou has not participated in the league for 8 years before.Zhou Dahu proposed: "Except for the goalkeeper, each player must tackle 8 goals, otherwise he will be expelled from the team." At the same time, Zhou Dahu also brought in two stretchers.On the second day, the Wenzhou team had an average of one tackle in less than 5 minutes to stun their opponents.The Wenzhou team won a big victory, and all the players were stained with blood.Half a month later, the Wenzhou team won the championship.On the court, the personality of "the only thing is to compete, and only the crown is to win" has been applied to his career. The goal Zhou Dahu set for himself is also "never admit defeat."

Talking about why he has such a strong competitive spirit, Zhou Dahu feels that these have something to do with his "unique" and "difficult" experience.Zhou Dahu was born in Wenzhou City in 1952. His father was an "old revolutionary". Before his father was labeled as a rightist and his mother was sent to the rural post office, Zhou Dahu's childhood and youth life was full of warmth and sunshine.After the family accident, Zhou Dahu's life and school suddenly became difficult.After graduating from junior high school, Zhou Dahu went to rural Wenzhou to join the team. "There is no way to maintain life in the countryside." In 1969, 17-year-old Zhou Dahu followed a few Wenzhou fellows and began to go outside to make a living.At first, I went to the suburbs of Xi'an to work as a sheet metal worker.Without national food stamps, eating is a big problem. He once ate persimmons for a month.Unexpectedly, the captain of the labor contracting team was arrested and returned to Wenzhou shortly after, where he was shot as a black contractor. He was also imprisoned in Xi'an for a month.Shortly after returning to Wenzhou, forced to make a living, he started wandering in Jiangxi, Anhui, Hubei and other places. In 1976, 25-year-old Zhou Dahu joined the Wenzhou Post and Telecommunications Bureau. Since then, he ended his wandering life and began to carry postal parcels every day. "Maybe it's because of my previous wandering experience, so I pay special attention to this job." Recalling that time, Zhou Dahu said that the requirement he set for himself was "to carry postal parcels, and I have to carry more and better than others. "

As early as around 1985, people in Wenzhou had already started producing lighters.And he got into it because he had to. In 1991, the Wenzhou soda factory where Zhou Dahu's wife worked went bankrupt, and she received a resettlement fee of 5000 yuan.Relying on this resettlement fee, Zhou Dahu recruited three or five workers and vacated one of his 40-square-meter homes for a factory building.In his spare time, Zhou Dahu ran sales for his wife, only to find that the lighter market was lucrative.So, he simply resigned after a year. In 1992, Zhou Dahu rented a simple factory building of more than 200 square meters, recruited more than 100 workers, and started his own business.Not long after he entered this industry, the Wenzhou lighter market entered a state of madness. In the first half of 1993, Wenzhou rapidly developed from the original 100-200 lighter manufacturers to 3000.With the market so hot, Zhou Dahu was on the verge of bankruptcy.The reason is that, in such a crazy market, many lighter manufacturers in Wenzhou hold the idea of ​​"quick catch" and produce inferior lighters.Zhou Dahu refused to fool customers and insisted on product quality. As a result, upstream suppliers refused to supply Zhou Dahu. Except for a few backbones, more than 100 workers ran away. "At that time, according to my quality standards, workers could only make 150 lighters a day at most, while those manufacturers who produced low-quality lighters could make 500. Workers' salaries were calculated on a piece-by-piece basis, so when I worked there, the salary was low and there was no Attractive. At that time, the profit of making a lighter was about 1 yuan. Even if I didn’t make a penny, I couldn’t pay a high salary. This situation also exists on the supplier side.” The factory was caught in the predicament of suspending production, Zhou Dahu Extremely depressed, within a week, there were three car accidents while riding a motorcycle.After the skilled workers left, Zhou Dahu decided to recruit a new group of ordinary workers and train them. "In the first half of 1993, I lost a lot, and all the profits from the previous two years were posted." The law of the market finally took effect. In the second half of 1993, foreign businessmen who had suffered enough from inferior products began to set their sights on Zhou Dahu.Zhou Dahu's orders suddenly increased, and the production capacity of more than 5000 pieces a day can receive orders of 5 to 6 pieces.The original 3000 lighter manufacturers, like the autumn wind sweeping away fallen leaves, closed down [-]%.Today, although Wenzhou's lighters are invincible in the world, they have been repeatedly blocked in recent years, such as the EU's CR Act and the Anti-dumping Act. "Wenzhou's lighter competition is too strong, so it is always blocked by others in the world. In addition to actively responding to lawsuits, we also need to find ways to improve the quality and popularity of our products and change the current unfavorable situation. "

Zhou Dahu has always firmly believed that as long as he has perseverance and endurance, he will surely win if he persists to the end. ★
Where is the difference?Ability cannot be linked to academic qualifications.Money is the exchange of personal value. If you want to own much money, you should first have an equivalent value that can be exchanged with it.The success of a person's career and the possession of wealth are not necessarily related to intelligence and education, because many millionaires have not finished elementary school, and more college students are working for some semi-literate bosses for a long time.Therefore, 80% of success and wealth depends on non-intellectual factors!These non-intellectual factors mainly include: concepts, courage, mentality, moral character, self-cultivation, personality, self-confidence, willpower, etc.To achieve a career, you must first cultivate self-confidence, believe in your own ability, and believe that what others can do, you can do it yourself and do it better!A person who doesn't believe in himself, no one else would dare to believe him!Believe is a kind of ability, believe is a kind of strength.Only by believing in yourself can you gain the trust of others.Believe that it will make a person stand out, be willing to be ordinary, and make yourself ordinary.Ordinary is not our goal, we must pursue excellence!

We must position ourselves in the category of successful people!From now on, our mentality and all words and deeds must be constrained and regulated by successful people, so that people will first recognize that we have the basic qualities of successful people.Only in this way will people be willing to follow us and be with us.Success attracts success, good people unite good people!A person's success often depends on who he is with.Being with vulgar people, you can learn to swear; being with mahjong friends, you can learn to light guns; often being with people who make excuses, you will become an excuse king!A person's success depends more on who he has met, what books he has read, and what he has heard. Sometimes, a sentence or a story can change a person's life!Everyone has unlimited potential for success, everyone is a giant in life, but no one wakes it up!Success starts with being willing to change.No change, no harm to others, no benefit to yourself.Whether it changes or not, it has nothing to do with others.Only by being responsible for your own life can you be responsible for the society!
How people spend their spare time also reflects the differences between them!In life, there are some people with superior IQ but zero financial quotient.There are many people who don’t know what they are busy with, that is, they have no benefit, no time, no money, no knowledge, and no ability.Success does not lie in how much you do, but in how much you do right!

Some careers belong to our own business, but they cannot be done by ourselves. We must learn to work together!The resultant force is greater than the sum of the component forces!If we want to make more money, we must at least have a basic concept. We must learn to let others make money for us, relying on our own hands, even if we are exhausted, we can only make ends meet.

Small money depends on oneself, big money depends on others.The prerequisite for others to help us make money is that we must be useful to others and reflect the value of helping others!The greatest tragedy in life is that you can't find your place in society or the market.The so-called relationship between career and money can also be said to be irreproachably a sign to measure the value of life.There is nothing impossible in the world, only things not to do!People in life seem to be the same, but they have different attitudes towards things.Some people look for opportunities in problems, and some people look for problems in opportunities; some people find ways to break through when they encounter difficulties, and some people find excuses to complain when they encounter difficulties;Different performances have already anticipated the inevitable results of success and failure!

Perseverance and perseverance are what most people lack most. What others lack, we must have!This is to create an advantage for yourself, this is to surpass!If we achieve transcendence, success belongs to us!Learning and career are the relationship between sharpening a knife and chopping firewood. Sharpening a knife is not a mistake in chopping firewood!Learning is not how much you can remember, but how much you can realize.Competition is sometimes a race of understanding!How much knowledge you have is not important, it is important to be good at using knowledge!Build a lifelong development platform and take a seat in the future.If you are a strong man, you must show your majesty!Even if it is a fish, although it cannot turn up a big wave, it must set off a wave of life!Everything starts now, starting with yourself.A nine-story platform starts from the base of the earth; a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.Actions speak louder than words!Although the road is long, it will come soon; although things are difficult, it will be done!
According to the report of the Research Group on Psychological Quality of College Students in Beijing, more than 60% of college students have moderate or higher psychological problems, and this number is still rising. In 2004, Chen Zhixia, Department of Sociology, Huazhong University of Science and Technology, and others used the "suicide attitude questionnaire" and adopted stratified sampling to investigate the suicidal ideation and suicide attitude of 1010 college students. The results found that 10 students had suicidal thoughts. 7%.

According to expert analysis, many factors, such as physical illness, emotional setbacks, economic pressure, family changes, and surrounding living environment, are the reasons for college students to have psychological problems.Among them, fierce learning competition and employment competition are the main reasons.Most college students have felt the pressure of studying, but if the pressure is not released, the spirit will be in a state of high tension for a long time, which is likely to lead to mental illness.A large number of cases have shown that the emotional crisis caused by love among college students is an important factor that induces psychological problems in college students, and some people go to extremes because of this, and even cause tragedies.The sequelae caused by improper education of the only child, such as willful, selfish, unsociable, lack of collective cooperation spirit and other bad habits, not only easily induce mental illness in college students, but also lead to violent tendencies and behaviors.

Role switching and adaptation disorders frequently appear among people with high IQs. If this incompatibility is not adjusted in time, it will cause psychological problems such as loss, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.When pursuing high-end knowledge, various other needs are suppressed to the lowest point, and the growth of knowledge is accompanied by defects in personality shaping and lack of psychological adaptability.Due to the emergence of unbalanced interest possession and sharing, it will also lead to their psychological imbalance, and the unsuccessful adjustment will lead to serious psychological imbalance, ranging from mental abnormalities and mental illnesses to major psychological problems such as suicide and criminal tendencies.

Health is also a very important requirement.Just think, who wants to deal with a person who can't lift his spirits all day long?Which CEO is willing to promote an employee who is depressed and sick?The market competition is becoming increasingly fierce, and every enterprise is facing huge challenges and pressures. If you don't have a healthy body, how can you face the fierce competition in the workplace?
★Entrepreneurs who were "pressed" to death
On the evening of April 2004, 4, Ericsson (China) President Yang Mai, who had just returned from a business trip in Shanghai and had been busy for several weeks, finally arranged time for himself to go to the gym.However, his heart could no longer withstand the strenuous exercise due to the overload of work for several days. 8-year-old Yang Mai died suddenly on the treadmill.Only 54 days after Yang Mai's death, Jim Cantalupo, the global fast food giant and chairman and CEO of McDonald's, died of a heart attack in the early morning of the 11th of that month at the age of 19.

This is a wake-up call, not only for the presidents and executives of the company, but also for every employee!The fast pace of the modern workplace has brought unprecedented pressure to employees, and they are facing extremely severe tests physically and mentally.Many people are in a sub-health state, their immunity and endurance are weak, and they are prone to sudden diseases.This must arouse people's attention. The body is the capital of the revolution. Although this sentence is a bit corny, it is indeed an unbreakable truth.

There is a vivid example: Conroe is a young computer salesperson of Dell Computer Company. Because of his hard work, he is quite appreciated by his boss, and a sunny road seems to have been paved in front of him.In order to improve his performance, Kang Luo works all day long and travels here and there.Although some colleagues gave him advice with a smile: "Work is important, but the body is more important; don't give up your health for work!" Conroe did not take it seriously, "I am young and strong, what are you afraid of? Besides , Work hard while you are young, so you can enjoy yourself in the future!" But what he didn't expect was that this laid a hidden danger for his later tragedy.

One day, Kang Luo felt a little short of breath, a little fast heartbeat, a constricted throat, and bean-sized sweat beads on his pale forehead.Colleagues advised him to go to the hospital for a good checkup.Conroe didn't take it seriously at all, and continued to work day and night.After a few months, his throat became so constricted that he could barely breathe.His physical condition was getting worse and worse, and his spirit was getting weaker and weaker. He had to go to the hospital for a detailed examination accompanied by his colleagues.The results came in: malignant throat cancer, which had spread.The doctor told him that if he had been checked early, it would be too late, but now it is too late... People like Kang Luo who do not pay attention to health actually made a fatal mistake: a healthy life is not as important as work!And the best excuse for someone who makes this mistake is "I love my job, and there's nothing wrong with that!" Is that really the case?No, that's their second mistake: their lack of health care is a sign of workaholics, not love of work! "Loving work" is completely different from "workaholic". People who love work will pay attention to health, while workaholics are at the expense of overdrawing their physical strength. ★
According to the analysis of psychological experts, people who do not pay attention to health have different work motivations: some people are fond of aggression in work; some rely on orderly work to fill the emptiness in their hearts; Some people use work to represent victory because of fierce competition, and feel that they are superior to others... Are you a workaholic, or are you about to become a workaholic?We must know that rest and health are equally important, and rest is for better work.

(End of this chapter)