Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 30 Discovering Your Emotional Intelligence (2)
B． "We need that report today."

C． "We need that report today."

This question evaluates "arbitrary, overconfident" self-regulation.The preferred answer is A, because it expresses the individual's willingness to solve this problem in person, rather than hiding behind "we" to cover up the individual's meaning; or as in answer C, asking the other party in a tone that has nothing to do with oneself.In the case of answer B, at least the use of the word "we" suggests some personal connection and shared responsibility.So neither B nor C is the best answer.

3.You show a friend some photos of your vacation, and he or she compliments you on how beautiful the photos are.How would you react to this?

A．You're like, "You must be kidding, I'm so fat, I need to lose at least a few pounds, just look at those chins."

B．You're going to say, "Thanks, I've been feeling really good all vacation, I feel like I've had a great time."

C．You're like, "Yeah, the photo was okay, and the weather just happened to be nice."

This question evaluates "Don't always complain about yourself" in self-awareness.Choosing answer A is the least confident expression.Answer C is a bit self-deprecating, but better than A.In this question, answer B shows that the individual has healthy, good self-esteem.

4.You leave the office and spend time with a few colleagues.During your break, you call the office to see if you have some messages or leave a message.What will you do during the call?
A．See what information, if any, is available, and ask what so-and-so is doing in the office.

B．See what information, if any, is available; and, by the way, take your colleagues to see if they have some information, too.

C．If there is information, see what information it is.

This question evaluates "self-centeredness" in empathy.Self-centered people are only interested in their own interests.Anyone who answers C can find a rationale for themselves, but they don't take into account the interests of those with them.Help each other and benefit each other with colleagues and friends around you, and achieve "don't do to others what you don't want to be done to you".Only in this way can our social life be expanded and continued.Therefore, in comparison, among the three answers, B is the smartest answer for emotional expression.

5.You're on a team that's rushing to meet a deadline for an important task.However, one co-worker is always messing around and distracting you.How would you react to this?

A．Show that you've had enough of his behavior by ordering him to "shut up and act mature."

B．It is recommended that the team check the work progress, make various plans, and complete the tasks on schedule.

C．Ignore bad behavior from colleagues, try to focus on the task at hand, and remind team members that deadlines are approaching and that they should step up their efforts.

This question evaluates the "strive to meet high standards" of motivation.Answer A means being self-centered, putting the blame on one person for not making progress, and possibly risking alienating the rest of the group.Answer C is better than A because it shows that you want to be able to meet the deadline, but doing so is still pushing everyone to work, which may not be very effective.Therefore, answer B is the smartest answer for emotional expression. This approach strives to find progress and focuses the efforts of all members of the group (including the colleague who caused the trouble) on the task at hand.

6.There is an angry customer who calls you because of a problem with the product, hoping to get a satisfactory answer from you.How would you react to this?

A．Arguing with customers about what's wrong with the product and asking why it happened.Think: If the quality of the product is really that bad, why didn't the company receive complaints and complaints from other customers?

B．Point out to customers that if there is a problem with the product, it is usually caused by improper use or storage methods.However, the company allows customers to be refunded or exchanged for a new product.

C．Explain to the customer that you will replace him or her with a new product or issue a refund.However, customers are expected to explain the circumstances under which the product has problems.

This question assesses "good communication skills" among social skills, especially in customer service, an area where emotional intelligence is valued.Therefore, it should be easy to see why answer A is the least intelligent response to express emotion, while answer C is the most acceptable.

7.You realize that you have made a wrong decision that will adversely affect other people.How would you react to this?

A．Try to think of various ways to minimize the losses caused by yourself.

B．Keep silent about the incident while at the same time finding a scapegoat for yourself.

C．Apologize to those involved in the incident and offer some suggestions to make up for the loss.

This question evaluates the ability to "work harmoniously with others" in social skills.Use emotion at work. If you mess things up, you'd better take responsibility for it and actively seek various solutions to make up for the losses you have caused (answer C) instead of trying to take responsibility Push it on your colleagues and get away with it yourself (answer B).Of course, if you choose to fight alone and try to reduce the loss (answer A), the result may only make things worse instead of better, which is not conducive to the resolution of the matter.

(Section [-] Emotional Intelligence Skills Assessment

Use the four steps below to complete your emotional intelligence skills assessment.

Step One: Get Ready

To answer the questions listed below, you need to be honest and objective, and do what you want.If you're looking to improve your emotional intelligence at work, choose your direct supervisor, a business partner, or a fellow team member to give you an objective and helpful feedback.If you want to improve your emotional intelligence in your personal life, choose your spouse or close friend to help you complete this assessment.

Step Two: Complete the Assessment
Do the following statements match your situation more than 75% of the time?Please tick a "√" in the corresponding column.

Question number
quiz topic
answer
1
I listen to others before making a decision or taking action.

Be

no

2
I have a good sense of humor.

Be

no

3
I can see and feel things from another person's point of view.

Be

no

4
I can face management pressure calmly and healthy.

Be

no

5
When communicating with other people, I make him feel good.

Be

no

6
I can still think positively in conflict and difficult situations.

Be

no

7
I am sane when I start to get angry or offend someone.

Be

no

8
When making changes, I take other people's feelings into consideration.

Be

no

9
Except for a setback or a problem, I would work in obscurity.

Be

no

10
I can keep my head clear when using negative thoughts.

Be

no

11
I work on the principles of following a plan, supporting others, and building trust.

Be

no

12
I'm always happy and willing to work on new ideas.

Be

no

13
I help people who disagree with each other to come to an agreement.

Be

no

14
When dealing with the anger of others, I can stay relaxed and focused.

Be

no

15
To resolve conflicts, I promote fair and respectful discussions.

Be

no

Step [-]: Score Statistics and Interpretation

1. How many "yes" did you choose:
Based on the criteria for selecting one "yes" and scoring 1 point, your overall score for emotional intelligence skills is:
2. Score explanation

(1) 13 to 15 points, indicating that your EQ is very high;
(2) 10-12 points, indicating that your EQ is relatively high;
(3) 7 to 9 points, indicating that your emotional intelligence is at a medium level;

(4) 4 to 6 points, indicating that your EQ is below the average level;

(5) 1 to 3 points, indicating that your emotional intelligence is far below the average level.

Step Four: Assess the Strengths and Weaknesses of Your Existing EQ Skills

Each of the 15 assessment options listed in Step [-] reflects your level in one of the five EQ skills categories.The five categories of emotional intelligence skills are: self-awareness, social skills, optimism, emotional control, and flexibility.In order to count your scores for each category of skills, we have provided the following question numbers and corresponding emotional intelligence skills tables.

Instructions for use: If you tick "Yes" to the first question, you get 1 point for self-awareness; if you don't tick "Yes", you get no score.If you ticked "yes" on the second question, you scored 1 point each for self-awareness, social skills, emotional control and flexibility; if you didn't tick "yes", you got no points for the corresponding four types of skills point.

question number
Corresponding emotional intelligence skills

self-awareness
Social skills

optimism
emotional control
flexibility

1
Be

2
Be

Be

Be

Be

3
Be

Be

4
Be

Be

Be

5
Be

Be

Be

Be

6
Be

Be

Be

Be

7
Be

8
Be

Be

Be

Be

9
Be

Be

Be

10
Be

Be

Be

Be

11
Be

Be

Be

12
Be

Be

13
Be

Be

Be

14
Be

15
Be

total number of tricks
level grade
After counting the "total number of skills", determine the level of each type of emotional intelligence skills based on this, and fill them in the "level level" column.For example, if the self-awareness score is 8 points, then fill in "very high" in the "Level Level" column below it.If the score of social skills is 6-7 points, then fill in "High" in the column of "Level Level" below it.The determination criteria of level grades are: 8=very high, 6~7=high, 4~5=average, 2~3=below average, 1~[-]=far below average.

People with high self-awareness skills are acutely aware of how they feel, what motivates them, what holds them back and how they affect others.

People with high social skills can communicate effectively with others and maintain good relationships. They will listen attentively to what others have to say and use the most appropriate communication methods to meet the unique needs of others.

People with high optimism skills have a positive and optimistic image of life, and their mental state keeps them working step by step toward their goals, and they don't give up even when they encounter setbacks.

People with high emotional control skills are adept at handling stress calmly and are able to cope with emotionally stressful situations, such as environmental changes or interpersonal conflicts.

People with high flexibility skills can adapt to various changes and are good at using various methods to solve problems.

1.If you are completing the self-assessment on your own, please answer the following questions:
(1) My most salient EQ skills are (choose skills rated "high" or "very high"):

(2) The emotional intelligence skills that I should most improve on are (choose the skills rated "below average" or "well below average"):

(3) For me, the most important things to improve your EQ skills are:

2.If you completed your self-assessment with someone else, record the results of your discussions.

(1) Do you think your most outstanding emotional intelligence skills are:

(2) The emotional intelligence skills that you think should be improved most are (choose the skill that ranks "below average" or "well below average"):

(3) The most important things for you to improve your emotional intelligence skills are:

(Section [-] Measuring Your Relationship Skills

The important message behind emotional intelligence is that emotions make us smarter.Far from hindering rational thinking, emotion is conducive to the formation of rational thinking.

Try some of the aptitude test questions from the emotional intelligence quiz below.These test questions don't necessarily give you a real level, but you get a feel for the way scientists measure emotional skills.

Read the following questions, choose one of the three options A, B, and C that you feel is the most accurate description for yourself, and mark it with a "√".

Quiz topic:

1.Judging Emotions: Assessing Your Emotional Awareness
(1) understand feelings

A．Almost always understand how you feel.

B．Know how you feel sometimes.

C．Never pay attention to how you feel.

(2) express feelings

A．My expressions of emotion allow others to understand how I feel.

B．Sometimes it's okay to express your feelings.

C．Not good at expressing their feelings.

(3) Interpreting the feelings of others
A．Always understand how others feel.

B．Know how others feel sometimes.

C．Misinterpreting the feelings of others.

(4) Interpret subtle nonverbal emotional cues
A．Able to fully understand the feelings of others.

B．Ability to read nonverbal cues, such as body language.

C．don't pay attention to these things
(5) Understanding False Feelings
A．Lies can always be identified.

B．I usually feel it when other people lie.

C．Easily fooled by others.

(6) Understand the emotions in works of art

A．Has a strong aesthetic.

B．Sometimes it can be felt.

C．No interest in artwork or music.

(7) Track feelings

A．Always know how you feel.

B．Be aware of how you feel often.

C．Little awareness of one's own feelings.

(8) Understanding of Emotional Control

A．I always know when someone is trying to control me.

B．I can often tell when someone is trying to control me.

C．I rarely know when others are trying to control me.

2.Using Emotions to Drive Thoughts: Assessing the Ability to Generate and Infuse Emotions into Thoughts

(1) When someone tells me about his own experience

A．I can feel how he feels.

B．I understand how he feels.

C．I only pay attention to facts and details.

(2) I can develop some kind of emotion as needed

A．It's easy to have any kind of emotion.

B．Capable of producing most emotions.

C．There is little or difficulty developing affection.

(3) Before something important arrives

A．I can get into a positive, energetic state.

B．Maybe I can get my spirits up.

C．I promise my emotions stay the same.

(4) Is my thinking influenced by feelings?
A．Different emotions affect my thinking and decisions in different ways.

B．Perhaps it is important to be in a certain state on a certain occasion.

C．My thinking is not influenced by emotions.

(5) The influence of strong emotions on thinking

A．Feelings help me focus on what's important.

B．Emotions have little effect on me.

C．Feelings often distract me.

(6) My imagination of feelings

A．very strong.

B．Kind of interested.

C．It is of little value.

(7) I can change my emotions

A．easy.

B．often.

C．rare.

(8) When someone tells me about a strong emotional event
A．I can feel how they feel.

B．My feelings have changed.

C．My feelings remain the same.

3.Understanding Emotions: Assessing Your Knowledge of Emotions
(1) My emotional vocabulary

A．Very specific and informative.

B．generally.

C．The vocabulary is not very large.

(2) My understanding of the reasons for other people's feelings can usually be obtained
A．Thorough understanding.

B．There are some insights.

C．A few bits and pieces.

(3) My understanding of emotional changes and development

A．very deep.

B．Generally profound.

C．I'm not interested in.

(4) Emotional hypothesis analysis usually produces

A．Accurate predictions about the outcomes of various actions.

B．Sometimes certain emotions can be foreseen.

C．It is often not known how the other person's feelings will develop.

(5) When I try to determine the cause of the feeling

A．There is always a link between emotion and event.

B．Sometimes a feeling can be linked to its cause.

C．Believe that feelings don't always arise for a reason.

(6) Contradictory feelings
A．Sometimes you can experience it, such as the coexistence of love and hate.

B．It is possible to exist.

C．It doesn't make sense.

(7) I think feelings
A．There are specific patterns of change.

B．Sometimes it can change with the feelings of others.

C．will appear by chance.

(8) Emotional reasoning

A．I have a relatively rich emotional vocabulary.

B．I often describe my feelings.

C．I can't find the right words when it comes to describing feelings.

4.Emotional Control: Assessing Your Emotional Control Ability
(1) I pay attention to the degree of emotion

A．often.

B．sometimes.

C．rare.

(2) I act on my feelings

A．immediately.

B．sometimes.

C．never.

(3) strong feelings
A．Can motivate and help me.

B．Sometimes it makes me feel overwhelmed by emotions.

C．Should be controlled or even forgotten.

(4) I know how I feel
A．often.

B．sometimes.

C．rare.

(5) The influence of feelings on me
A．Usually understandable.

B．Sometimes it can be understood.

C．Very little is processed or felt.

(6) My handling of strong feelings
A．Neither exaggerating nor belittling.

B．sometimes.

C．Either exaggerating or underestimating.

(7) I can change a bad mood

A．often.

B．sometimes.

C．rare.

8.i can stay in a good mood

A．often.

B．sometimes.

C．rare.

Test Score Statistics and Interpretation:
Score statistics:

Count the number of A, B, and C options in each group of questions, and then calculate your own score according to the scoring standards listed below: A is 2 points; B is 1 point; C is 0 points.

1.Judgment Sentiment Score:
2.Use sentiment score:
3.Understanding Sentiment Score:
4.Emotion Control Score:
Scoring explained:

1．总体解释：8分或8分以下属于低分，9分或9分以上属于高分。这些问题只是为了激发你关于感情技巧的思考，而不是真正衡量你的技巧。

2.Understand the role of the four emotional skills scores:

(1) Judging feelings: Your score shows how accurately you judge feelings.Are you paying attention to the data or are you ignoring it?If you want to know how someone else feels, is your judgment accurate?

(2) Use of emotion: Your score can give you an idea of ​​the extent to which you use emotion to understand others or the ways in which you use emotion to improve your decision-making or thinking.

(3) Understand emotions: Your score can give you a better understanding of how much you know about emotions.

(4) Control emotions: Your score indicates the extent to which emotions can positively influence your decision-making.

To find out which skills you scored highest in, ask yourself the following questions:

1.What advantages do I have?
2.What is my way of dealing with the problem?
Find the skill you scored the lowest in and ask yourself the following questions:

1.What obstacles do I have?

2.What difficulties might I have when dealing with certain problems?
(End of this chapter)