Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 42 My emotional intelligence is up to me (4)
Every job you do is the best reflection of your worth, and taking pride in what you do will not only help you motivate yourself, but will also give you a confident glow in your smile and demeanor.

9.take risks

Only a confident person is brave enough to take risks, and being brave enough to take risks will also make you confident.For example, in the process of solving problems, being able to propose feasible solutions that are unreasonable often gives people a sense of self-confidence.

10.on demand
Confident people can quickly adapt to changes in the environment for the development of the organization, while unconfident people tend to like to maintain the status quo.If others see you as always ready for the future and up to challenges, they will see you as confident.

11.overcome shyness

Shyness can make people feel less confident because shy people don't communicate well with others.One key to overcoming shyness is to focus less on yourself and more on others.It's okay to start small, but make sure to reach out to other people every day.For example, when you go to the store to buy something, don't just leave money on the counter, but pay attention to the salesperson's reaction and thank him for the service he provided.When a shy person interacts more and more positively with society, he will become less shy and more confident.

(Section [-] Stay Positive

Your emotions are an important guide for big decisions.Logic alone is not enough when making decisions.Logical thinking can tell you the pros and cons, but your decision will ultimately be based on your inner reaction.There's an old song that tells us that it's not what you do that brings results, but how you do them.Cultivate a mental framework of optimism, asking yourself how you can improve the future, and firmly setting yourself up for success.

University of Michigan psychologist Barbara. L．Fredrickson's recent research suggests that positive emotions can open the human mind to more directions; that is, people who think positively have more options and resources than those who think negatively.If we can constantly maintain a positive mood, then we will be more efficient in whatever we do.

1.Negative emotions are more compulsive

Part of the reason humans are biased towards negative emotions is that many problems are more compulsive than the reinforcement of positive factors.

2.Negative emotions limit thinking ability

Negative emotions can limit our ability to think. For example, if you see a big dog charging towards you with malicious intentions, you will immediately have negative thoughts that the dog may attack you.Without this conscious thought, you may not be actively trying to protect yourself.If you imagine that the dog is about to attack you, all your consciousness will be focused on how to get out.

3.Positive emotions can open thinking

If we are filled with joy, all possibilities exist.In this case, we can play around, joke, have fun with fantasy, and be emotionally, intellectually, and socially open. "Danger" has no place in a joyous situation.

4.Positive emotions can regulate negative emotions.

Replacing cynicism with joy can help employees get work done with more satisfaction.

5.Positive moods tend to produce more creative thinking, more induced reasoning (problem solving), and more resilient ways of doing things.

If you see the world as positive, safe, and fun, you can actively solve problems and discover new avenues to solve them.

Replacing negative mental states with positive emotions must start with cognition, followed by consciously switching or changing emotions.Switching back and forth between different mental states is one of the most important skills in changing emotions.We can use the computer as an example. When the computer sends an "error" message, it usually reminds you to save the file and then restart the computer.If you are in a bad mood, your biocomputer will remind you not to ignore your emotions, but to try to switch or re-open your mood.

Method 1 for Constructing Optimism: Determine if You Are an Optimist or a Pessimist

1.Complete the following quiz on "Are you an optimistic person?": If which statement represents your behavior and thoughts most of the time, please circle T, otherwise, circle F.

(1) I think more about how to find solutions to problems than worry about why my colleagues are not working. T F
(2) People need to prove themselves before I can trust them. T F
(3) I enjoy the challenges of work. T F
(4) I feel that my work helps others. T F
(5) I can laugh at myself. T F
(6) I have a sense of humor. T F
(7) I don't trust anyone or anything. T F
(8) I rarely take breaks from work. T F
(9) I take at least one day off per week. T F
(10) I am willing to encourage, support and help others succeed. T F
(11) Unless someone's words and actions show that he is not trustworthy, I trust anyone. T F
(12) I hate to say that I cannot be responsible to others. T F
(13) I feel as if I have very little time for myself. T F
(14) I am committed to developing positive and mutually supportive friendships. T F
(15) I tolerate negative people. T F
(16) I feel happy and happy. T F
(17) I follow a healthy diet (avoid excess fat, sugar, and stimulants). T F
(18) I participate in physical activity of 20 minutes or more at least three times a week. T F
(19) Most days, I feel tired. T F
(20) I often take short naps throughout the day. T F
(21) I have daily meditation and relaxation activities. T F
2.Answer: Compare your quiz answers to the standard answers provided below and underline the corresponding answer.For example, if you chose T for item 1, put a √.If you choose F, hit a ╳.

Question numbers whose answer is T: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 14, 16, 15, 18, 21.

Question numbers with the answer F: 2, 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 19, 20.

How many of your answers match (how many √)?

3.Interpretation of the optimism test:
19-21 matches: typical optimists.You are an exceptional person, and you can be a role model for helping others become more positive.

13-18 matches: more optimistic people.You are a relatively optimistic person, and you do not need too much development to maintain a good attitude towards work and life.

6-12 matches: You are sometimes optimistic, and you can improve your emotional intelligence by cultivating an optimistic attitude towards life.

O—5 matches: Rarely optimistic.If you don't cultivate an attitude of optimism, your emotional intelligence can only be maintained at a low level.

Method 2 of Building Optimism: Talk to Yourself Differently
Make yourself more optimistic by gradually changing your beliefs.Which of the following two sentences do you believe?
The first sentence, "It doesn't matter what I do, because no matter what, bad things will always happen to me."

The second sentence, "The actions I take may cause different changes, and I can do things better."

People who believe the first sentence tell themselves that other people and their surroundings determine their lives.Pessimistic self-talk makes people give up and even try to change.In the face of challenges, negative people may say to themselves: "I can't, I definitely can't. Why try? Nothing will change anyway. The objective situation will not give me a chance. I encounter these problems. The outside world's fault."

People who believe in the second sentence believe that they are in control of certain aspects of their lives and that positive thoughts motivate them to act even in the face of difficulty.When faced with a challenge, an optimistic person may think, "I'm going to give it a try. What I'm doing is important, I can make a difference, and it's my responsibility to make things better." Positive and optimistic thoughts are more effective than negative thoughts likely to lead to success.

When you talk about a problem that needs to be fixed or something that needs to be changed, what is the message you are really sending to yourself?Slowly change the conversations you have with yourself, starting with pessimistic and negative statements, and step by step into positive and optimistic thinking.

Mostly pessimistic and negative statements such as:
"About... I can't do anything. No matter how hard I try, there's no need to try."

An improved statement such as:

"About... I might be able to do something. In some small way I might be able to make things better."

More optimistic statements, such as:
"About ... I can do something beneficial. Before, I've done similar things with different results."

The most positive and optimistic statements, such as:
"I'm sure I can change this problem by... making it a challenge I can handle. I have the skills, information and help I need to solve it."

As you work towards your goal, keep reviewing your revised statement and take a look at it often.A mental shift may change the way you think about work.

Method 3 of Building Optimism: Discover the Meaning of Your Work

People who believe their work is important are more motivated than those who believe their work has no value.Some people discover the importance of their work by helping others, developing new products, sparking their own creativity, earning more money for their families, learning new skills, etc.Focus on the part of your work that is most important to you, and strive to do more of the things that are meaningful to you.If you find that your job is not satisfactory and you are unwilling to change it, then you should consider changing to a new job or a new career.

"My work matters because..."

"I especially love my job because..."

Method 4 of Building Optimism: Caring for Yourself and Others
Optimistic people often cultivate trustworthy relationships that become networks of mutual support.Because work and home life often overlap, people need to develop active and supportive networks between work and home.Attractive people actively seek out positive people at work and at home.

A network of mutually supportive relationships can provide you with the following benefits:
1.helps to solve the problem.

2.Share useful information.

3.Alerts you to problems.

4.Helps you improve how you feel about yourself and recognize your successes.

5.Have fun together.

6.have friends.

(Section [-] Become your own emotional mentor

Just like other forms of mentoring, you must have dedicated self-direction.These include:
·Know your temperament
·Exercising listening skills and empathy
·understand
· Accept your dark side

· Take responsibility for emotional shifts

· Familiar with your emotional disposition
We need both optimism and pessimism, because both are important.We need both in order to work harmoniously.Watch to switch from one side to the other as the opportunity allows.After reading the comparison below, you can pause and decide where you place yourself in your emotional temperament.

★ Optimists and pessimists

(End of this chapter)