Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 44 To defeat others, first conquer yourself (1)
We live in such a competitive society where everyone wants to be successful and stand out.However, how many successes and failures have proved that on the road to the pinnacle of life, it is not others but oneself that must always be defeated.The powerful enemy that often hurts us is deeply hidden in our own hearts!

Therefore, in the continuous struggle and hard work, only by first cultivating the first-class psychological quality can we overcome all the weaknesses deep in the soul and remain invincible.

(Part [-] The biggest challenge in life is yourself
Few people actively seek out challenges, and consequently, very few achieve greatness.If you're willing to seek out challenges, you'll have a better chance of success.Because challenges imply risks, risks imply opportunities, and opportunities breed success.

★The one who finally crushes the challenge

Iacocca, the pride of American corporate giants and Harvard students, is a strong man who looks for challenges, smashes challenges, picks up opportunities from them, and achieves success.

The Chrysler Motor Company, General Motors and Ford have always divided the world into three parts. They are the tenth largest manufacturing company in the United States and No. 14 among the famous Western companies.After entering the 70s, Chrysler suffered repeated misfortunes and lost money year after year.By 1979, it had a loss of US$11 billion and a debt of US$8 million, and its ranking in the 500 largest companies in the United States dropped sharply to No.17.Everyone in the economic circle believes that Chrysler's collapse is just around the corner.

At this time of stormy weather, the chairman of Chrysler Corporation personally stepped in and asked Iacocca to take over the company's leadership.After careful consideration, Iacocca resolutely took over the dying company.Obviously, this is a serious challenge for Iacocca, and Iacocca knows it well.But he knows better that challenges and opportunities coexist, and opportunities are the prelude to success.

After several years of challenges and hard struggles, Iacocca finally defeated the challenges, found the opportunity, and turned the opportunity into success—Chrysler came back from the dead.

This miracle confirms that Iacocca is a person who looks for challenges, does not avoid challenges, and finally crushes challenges. ★
There are many similar examples, one of which is the American billionaire Borocchi.

★Get out of the world of living on wages

When enrolling in his fourth semester of college, Baloch, a student at Harvard Law School, was facing a major decision in his life: to be a good lawyer and earn $1 to $5 a year; A businessman may be able to turn the whole world into his own world.This is not just a choice between lawyers and businessmen, it is actually a decision to choose to challenge or avoid challenges.A lawyer is synonymous with comfort and stability, but there is no doubt that it also escapes challenges; the road of a businessman is tortuous and full of hardships, but there are more and greater challenges on the way, so opportunities are multiplied.

Baloch chose the challenge.Later, he made $1 million.He said: "You can live securely on your salary, but your salary will never make you rich. If you want to be rich, you have to get out of the world of living on a salary and into a world of high danger, a world full of challenges." world."★
The word "challenge" is no stranger to Harvard students.Because the word "Harvard" is the embodiment of challenge.First of all, Harvard's admission qualification review is an extremely severe challenge. Its fierce competition and strict selection make people shudder.

Harvard requires that those who want to enter the school must have excellent grades in all courses in high school and the "Study Ability Test" (SAT) hosted by the "Educational Testing Service" (ETS) of the United States. Each student should provide three high school teacher's recommendations letters; as many as three to four oral examinations for candidates by the school admission committee; the inspection of the basic qualities of the students, such as character, will, initiative, ability to handle affairs, special talents, etc., and the inspection of whether the students have development prospects, etc. Wait.After such a strict selection, only 10% to 15% of candidates who can withstand this series of challenges and obtain admission qualifications can be described as rare.

Entering Harvard is by no means entering "heaven", on the contrary, it seems to have entered "hell".At Harvard, students are under a lot of pressure to study, and the competition is fierce and almost cruel, which is simply a challenge to their own limit ability.HBS (Harvard Business School), which is Harvard's condensed, is particularly prominent in this regard.

HBS is a two-year school system, and the first academic year is very heavy, with 11 courses.The school requires each first-year student to have at least 10 "good".Students who get more than 8 "pass" or "fail" are called "touch the net". Whether a student who "touches the net" can be promoted to the second grade will be decided by the Student Achievement Committee based on the student's own request, the professor's evaluation, and the objective factors of "touching the net".A small number of them will be admitted to higher education; while others will be forced to drop out, but can retain their right to re-apply for admission.Although only about 5% of people "touch the Internet" every year, the threat of being forced to drop out of school due to "touching the Internet" is always there.What's more, the scope of grading is not the whole grade, but is distributed according to a fixed percentage in the class, which creates a challenge for all students at all times.To cope with this challenge, many students have to study for 13 to 18 hours a day, sleep until one or two o'clock in the morning, and have to go to class at 8:[-] in the morning, and they can't even breathe.

It is these challenges that enable those Harvard students who can withstand the challenge to become unafraid of challenges, dare and willing to seek challenges, and succeed from them.McNamara, the former president of Ford Motor Company, is a typical example of Harvard students who dare to seek challenges.

After graduating from Harvard, McNamara joined Price Waterhouse as an accountant.Before long, he left in disappointment.Its disappointment is that the company is not challenging. In March 1942, he listened to Thornton's lobbying, and happily went to Washington to receive military education, planning to design courses and work content for the "statistical control team" for Thornton in the future.Because there are more challenges there, so he is willing to go.After a year as a military instructor at Harvard, McNamara asked to go to the front.So he was sent to England.There is no heating, no hot water, only the indiscriminate bombing of the German army.This is the real challenge.In this challenging environment, McNamara felt like a fish in water and worked with great success.This cannot but be said to have benefited from Harvard's "challenge training".

After the war, McNamara could return to Harvard as a professor.However, he chose Ford, he chose the car, and he chose the challenge.In the battle against new challenges, he achieved impressive results, so he was promoted to president of Ford Motor Company.In just a few weeks, another bigger challenge beckoned him.He greeted him without hesitation.The defense secretary, for McNamara, was "a rose from Orion" and more challenging.McNamara picked it up again.

McNamara has achieved one success after another by embodying the "challenge-seeking" character that Harvard bestowed upon him.He is not one to be easily forgotten, whether in business or politics.

(Success in the second quarter is to overcome yourself
The famous Chinese host Bai Yansong once explained life like this: "Only 5% of a person's life is wonderful, 5% is painful, and the other 90% is plain; people are often tempted by the wonderful 5%, and endure the 5%." The pain, spent in 90% of the plain."

Yes, we cannot avoid the thorns and setbacks we encounter on the road to success, but if you treat these setbacks as pain in your heart, fatigue will always haunt you and disappointment will always surround you.In fact, as long as our hearts are stronger and stronger enough to overcome all the weaknesses in our hearts, then success will not be far away from you.

If you carefully analyze the various pains and annoyances we have experienced in our daily life, you will find that most of the source of this pain is the invincibility of ourselves.

When we need courage, we must first overcome our weakness;
When you need to be free and easy, you must first overcome your obsession;
When you need to change, you must first overcome your own stubbornness;
When you need to calm down, you must first overcome your impulse;
When you need to be diligent, you must first overcome your laziness;
When you need generosity, you must first overcome your narrowness;
When you need to be honest, you must first overcome your greed;
When you need justice, you must first overcome your own partiality.

These many contradictory nouns-brave, weak, free and easy, obsessive, hardworking, lazy, magnanimous, shallow, honest, greedy, fair, and selfish...almost often occupy us at the same time.

The US "Sports Illustrated" published a cartoon showing a boxer paralyzed on the training ground with the title "Suddenly, you find that the most difficult opponent to beat is yourself".The title is really intriguing.

★People who are defeated by themselves
In Japan, there was a young man with excellent academic performance who went to apply for a big company, but his exam results failed him.After the young man heard the news, he was deeply desperate and wanted to commit suicide. Fortunately, the rescue was timely and he failed to commit suicide.Soon came the news that his test scores were at the top of the list, but the computer made an error when counting the test scores, and he was hired by the company.But soon there was news that he was dismissed by the company. The reason was that a person could not bear such a small blow, so how could he make contributions in his future position? ★

Although this young man beat other opponents in test scores, he did not defeat his psychological enemy. His psychological enemy was fear of failure, lack of confidence in himself, and created psychological tension and pressure for himself when he encountered problems.

There is no absolutely perfect person in the world, and of course there are very few people who are absolutely hopeless. The above-mentioned contradictions exist more or less in everyone's personality.These contradictions often appear at the same time when you encounter something that requires you to take action to deal with it.And when they appear at the same time, that is when you start to feel confused and miserable.How you decide depends entirely on which side of these two contradictory forces wins.If the positive and bright side prevails, you are headed for success.If the negativity and the dark side prevail, you are on your way to failure.

The reason for this is obvious. It stands to reason that everyone should know what to do to make the right decision.But few are able to take the right action without engaging in combat.Even the result of the battle is that the negative side wins over the dark side.

Overcoming yourself is not an easy task, it requires a lot of courage and firm belief.Think about it, how many times have you defeated yourself?Or do you often pamper and pamper yourself?
A person, if he is diligent, it must be because he has overcome his laziness.Laziness is one of our worst enemies.Many things that could have been done have missed the chance of success because of lazy procrastination time and time again.

When we try a new job, come into contact with a new environment, or deal with a new scene, there is always a force that pulls us backwards.We often shrink back and think: let’s be content with the status quo!It's better to save trouble!Or don't take the risk!So, in this negative decision.I don't know how many precious opportunities have been lost.Many people complain that they fail to achieve anything. I am afraid that this negative habit of dealing with things is one of the biggest reasons for their failure.

Everyone knows that justice and integrity are respectable, and selfishness and greed are shameful, but when things come to an end, there will often be some pressure that you didn't expect beforehand, bad atmosphere, or a passive and retreating idiom, such as " Those who know the current affairs are heroes" and so on.In fact, that is the proof that you have been defeated by another self.It is shameful for a person to be unable to defeat himself when necessary, and no reason can conceal this shame.One should have the strength to let the bright side of oneself prevail, otherwise, your life is a failure.

If you know that forgiveness is a virtue, why don't you let go of the trivial gains and losses in front of you earlier?
You know, sometimes we are troubled and hesitant because there are two opposing forces in our emotions.Let's be wise, make a decision early, and you will feel that the face of life will suddenly open up.

Diligence and laziness, sobriety and obsession, are not long-distance opportunities, but just two sides of a thin razor, with only a sharp edge between them.If you cross the edge, you will be diligent and sober; if you stay there, you will be lazy and enigmatic.Whether you want to turn over is only a short thought.

If you will be sober, you will be sober; if you will be obsessed, you will be obsessed.The realization of this "determination" does not depend on whether you can, but on whether you are willing.

(The third quarter beat myself, I am the strong

"To defeat myself, I am strong." This sentence is often said by Olympic double champion Zhang Yining, and it is also the key to the "big sister" Deng Yaping in the table tennis world to win the gold.This sentence means that when you encounter setbacks or face adversity, you should fight tenaciously and have the confidence and courage to overcome difficulties. In that way, you will be a strong man, a strong man who cannot be defeated by anyone.

Think about the great figures and those who have made achievements in ancient and modern China and foreign countries, which one is not confident in themselves and has tenacious perseverance?If Edison was discouraged because of repeated failures, could he still become a world-famous invention king?If Einstein gave up his belief because of the ridicule of others, could he still write "The Theory of Relativity" and become the winner of the Nobel Prize in physics?If Li Shizhen gave up his career due to various difficulties, would he still be able to write the famous book "Compendium of Materia Medica"?

Who in this world is the one who can really beat you?Only you.

We struggle in the journey of life, fighting against the sky, the earth, and people.We do not admit defeat easily, and believe that as long as we work hard, there is nothing we cannot overcome.However, too often, in the face of harsh environments, natural disasters and man-made disasters, and numerous difficulties and setbacks, we are the first to deny ourselves psychologically, so we choose to give up and choose to fail.

★Desperate Wounded
A small detachment was suddenly attacked by the enemy during a march.During the melee, two soldiers rushed out of the enemy's encirclement, only to find that they had entered the desert.Halfway through the walk, the water ran out, and the injured soldier was exhausted and needed to rest.So, the companion handed the gun to the wounded, and repeatedly ordered: "There are still five bullets in the gun. After I leave, you fire a shot into the air every hour. The sound of the gun will guide me to join you." After speaking, the companion went to find water with confidence.The wounded lying in the desert are full of doubts: Can the companions find water?Can you hear the gunfire?Will you leave your "baggage" behind and leave alone?
When dusk fell, there was only one bullet left in the gun, and the companion had not returned.The wounded warrior was convinced that his companions had already left, and that he could only wait for death.In the imagination, vultures flew over in the desert, severely pecked his eyes blind, and pecked his body... As a result, he collapsed completely and sent the last bullet into his temple.Not long after the gunshots rang out, the companion came with a jug full of water and led a caravan of camels, and found a body that was still warm...★★
The soldier rushed out of the enemy's hail of bullets, but died under his own gun, which made people sigh and be vigilant: don't despair of life easily, as long as you don't give up hope and hard work, you will be reborn Opportunity.

Sometimes, in the face of difficulties, we often shrink back because the difficulties are too great; in the face of competition, we often evade because the opponent is too strong; in the face of responsibilities, we often shirk because the burden is too heavy; ... Yes, life gives us too much, and we have too many reasons to escape.Why don't we dare to face up to all this?It is because we cannot overcome all kinds of cowardice, worry, inferiority and fear in our hearts!
Human nature is like this, and human nature is destined to have many weaknesses in our hearts; ourselves are often the most terrifying opponents, the most bottomless ditch, and the most impenetrable fog.In order to be successful, we must overcome ourselves, who are the last barrier to success.

(End of this chapter)