Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 53
Humor comes from an optimistic attitude towards life and a positive mental state. A person with a sense of humor must be a mentally healthy person. He knows how to use humor to maintain optimism, to break the deadlock, to relieve hostility, and to resolve embarrassment.In addition, humor represents a noble attitude towards life and an elegant concept of life.As a humorous person, he can not only entertain himself, thereby eliminating all kinds of depressed and depressed emotions in life, but also spread this kind of happiness to the people around him, thus establishing a harmonious and healthy living environment , which is nothing more than an important factor conducive to human health and survival.So let us all try our best to use our sense of humor, regulate our body and mind, and infect our happy environment.

(Section [-] Confidence Illuminates Life
The famous Harvard student Henry Thoreau said: "Confidently move in the direction you want! The legal system of life will become simple, loneliness will no longer be lonely, poverty will no longer be poor, and fragility will no longer be fragile."

Successful people are those who have confidence in themselves.A study from Harvard University found that 85% of a person's success depends on having strong self-confidence, and 15% depends on other factors such as intelligence.Napoleon Hill said: "The power of confidence is amazing. Believe in yourself, and all difficulties will not be difficulties."Confidence is like a starting light, it will give you strength in the boundless ocean of life, and also give you the motivation to move forward.Just ask, how can a person who doesn't even trust himself win the trust of others?

★Confidence brings miracles

Regarding the achievements brought about by self-confidence, Professor Rosenthal, a famous American psychologist, designed such an experiment: He randomly divided a group of mice into two groups: Group A and Group B, and told the breeder of Group A that, The mice in this group are very smart, and you must train them to be mice that can walk out of the maze; at the same time, you tell the breeder in group B that the mice in his group have average intelligence and may not be able to complete the task of the maze, so try your best.As a result, a few months later, a surprising result occurred: when he tested the two groups of mice through the maze, he found that the mice in group A were really smarter than the mice in group B. maze task.

Later, Professor Rosenthal came to a school for psychological tests.He still randomly selected a few students, and told the principal that these students had high IQs, and told them that they were not ordinary people, and that they would definitely be able to achieve results that were different from ordinary people.

A year later, Professor Rosenthal came to the school to check the test results, and it was as expected.Those so-called gifted children have indeed achieved impressive results.Only then did Professor Rosenthal tell the principal that, in fact, he knew nothing about these gifted students.The principal was surprised and asked: Then why did they get such good grades?Professor Rosenthal smiled: "This is the miracle of self-confidence." ★

Yes, self-confidence brings miracles, but also illuminates life.Without self-confidence, one will not succeed in doing anything.Confidence is like a fuel to fuel your life, so that it can continue to fly high.

The world-renowned symphony conductor Seiji Ozawa conducted a performance according to the score given to him by the jury in a competition, but he keenly discovered the discordant sound, and he thought it was a problem with the score.The composers and judges present insisted that there was no problem with the score.But he said categorically: "No, there must be a mistake in the music score!" As soon as the words fell, the judges immediately responded with warm applause. This applause was not only an affirmation of his musical talent, but also a sign of his confidence appreciation.It turned out that the judges carefully designed a mistake to test whether the conductor can maintain his confidence when he finds an error in the score.Seiji Ozawa's confident performance not only adds points to his performance, but also points to his life.

It is worth noting that self-confidence is not the same as conceit and arrogance.The premise of self-confidence is to know yourself and not to believe unrealistically.If a chicken swears that I believe I can fly as high as an eagle, such remarks will probably only be laughed at by the same kind.Confidence is based on strength, and unrealistic flattery makes you lose your way.

I am born to be useful.Each of us has our own advantages, which is beyond doubt. There is a huge energy hidden in each of us, which may not be easily noticed by others, but you have to understand your own energy. Under the exertion of this huge energy, you can overcome your low self-esteem or cowardice, and thus complete your role as a talented person.

No matter how many failures you have experienced in the past, they cannot take away the confidence you have today.Our life is a process of constantly fighting against setbacks. Self-confidence is the most solid shield and the sharpest spear in this struggle. Only by grasping this weapon can the victorious life belong to us.

(Section [-] Believe in a better tomorrow

Whatever stories happened in the past have become the previous pages of history.We should remember those glories or setbacks with a calm heart, and put more thoughts and hopes in the future is the choice of a wise man.Believe that tomorrow will be better, don't worry about the gains and losses and pains of the past, let go of the past, and only then can you easily walk on the road to tomorrow.

Believing in a better tomorrow is a positive attitude towards life, and miracles can only happen when there are dreams.Dreams are the boat of reality, giving up dreams means giving up looking forward to a better future.Only by insisting that the future is beautiful can we have more strength and motivation to persevere.

★The future is bright

Ms. Shen Baolian, general manager of Baiyi Commercial Co., Ltd. in Wuai Market, Shenyang City, wrote a beautiful chapter for her life because of her dream.She has been in Wu'ai Market for more than ten years. I think she also started with a small stall back then.Everything is difficult at the beginning, even in the difficult initial stage, she is still full of hope and believes that every day is getting better and better.The fact is also true. From the bow tie industry at the beginning to the commoner clothing industry later, every step is not easy, but every step is more solid and beautiful than the previous step.Recently, she has successively won the title of Advanced Worker of Shenyang Individual Association and "Glorious Star" of Liaoning Province, all of which are earned by her previous sweat.When interviewing her secret of success, the heroine of Shanghai said modestly, there are no secrets to follow in doing business. For me, I am the daughter of Wuai Market. I have confidence in it and I have confidence in its future development. Also have confidence.Since I have chosen it, I have to go on bravely. From the beginning to the end, I believe that my business will continue to grow bigger and stronger. Although there are ups and downs in the middle, tomorrow will always be better.This is the mind of a successful lady, and we have to respect and admire this kind of confidence and boldness. ★
The future is bright and full of hope.If you can't get over your past failures, and even think that tomorrow is hopeless, then your life will not be of any value.Just ask, is it possible for a person who gives up the future to succeed?Even if you're still in the throes of failure, don't forget that you still have hope for tomorrow.As long as you have tomorrow, you still have a chance.People can't give up lightly. Dreams are always impossible to achieve easily. Sometimes it takes thousands of hardships to become a reality.Numerous successful people have warned us with their own examples that we must have full confidence in the future and believe that tomorrow will be better. Even if the road today is full of thorns and gullies, it cannot stop the footsteps of the strong.

If you are still living in the shadow of yesterday, please turn around and look at the sun, and throw the shadow behind you.Where there is sunshine, there are shadows, and it would be foolish to forget the sun because of the shadows.Today's failure is the mother of tomorrow's success. Edison's countless experiments are the best example.If Edison did not have such a confident persistence, I am afraid that the brightness of the world will be delayed for many years.Today's ups and downs do not mean that tomorrow's road will be smooth, so we should let go of the past gracefully and welcome the bright future happily.As long as you have tomorrow, then you still have a chance, please remember not to give up easily, there will always be miracles in a beautiful tomorrow, forget yesterday, be kind to today, and firmly believe in tomorrow!
(Section [-] Suffering brings good luck
Disadvantage is a blessing.There has always been such a saying: if you lose money, you will avoid disasters, and if you suffer losses, you will be blessed.The fact is also the same. On the road of life, if we can endure some "disadvantages" with a broad mind, perhaps unexpected good luck is just around the corner.Taking a step back, the sea and the sky are bright, and a little loss may bring good luck.All those who have made great achievements have a free and easy feeling. Perhaps it is because of their heroic attitude towards life that they have "good luck" again and again.

On the surface, suffering a loss is indeed a kind of loss, but there is a gain for every loss, and sometimes your "small loss" is in exchange for a "big gain".

★A loss is an advantage
A young man entered the sales department of a certain product just after graduating from university, and was responsible for product promotion.He has first-class eloquence, but what is more valuable is his work attitude and hard-working spirit.At that time, the company was working on the sales channels of new products, and the new and old products were rushing to sell at the same time. The product sales team went to help.But in the entire sales department, there was only that young man who readily accepted the boss's assignment, and the others protested after going there once or twice, feeling that they had exceeded their scope of responsibility.Those veterans who feel that they have social experience laughed at him intentionally or unintentionally, but he didn't take it seriously after hearing it: "If you suffer a loss, you take advantage of it!".

The old employees are very surprised, what advantage does he have to take advantage of.I always see him running around like a coolie, posting advertisements and handing out leaflets for new products, and I think to myself that he is really a fool.Later, he often went to the lower-level production department to participate in the on-site production. Whenever there was a shortage of manpower, he was willing to help.

Two years later, it was this stupid man who was ridiculed, and after accumulating a lot of experience, he established an equipment sales company. Although the scale is small, the prospect is very optimistic.It turned out that when the company worked hard in the past, he had a thorough understanding of the basic process of the sales company. In this way, he really took advantage of it!Now, he still does things with this attitude. To his subordinates, clients, and partners, he uses losses in exchange for the trust of partners and clients, as well as the unanimous support of his subordinates and employees.Such noble self-cultivation made him stand out among the younger generation. ★
Facing losses calmly and accepting them is the key to success.Sometimes a little extra effort not only wins the gratitude and trust of others, why not do it?

★Sacrifice personal income to win the sincerity of employees
Yin Mingshan, chairman of Chongqing Lifan Group, is one of the successful people willing to suffer.Yin Mingshan is a manager who can consider the interests of employees. He deeply understands the hard work and difficulties of employees, so he can sacrifice part of his personal interests to subsidize his subordinates, so that all employees in the company can be protected. .He once mentioned: If the benefits are not good, a large number of layoffs will be laid off, and any difficulties will be passed on to the employees without letting himself feel a little bit wronged. Such an enterprise will not be able to achieve great development.The Lifan Group he led implemented the minimum wage system in 2001, and the wages of employees with three years of service should not be less than 3 yuan.Lifan Group’s minimum wage system is more than 600 yuan higher than the minimum wage standard in Chongqing, and Lifan motorcycles also occupy most of the motorcycle market in China. This is undoubtedly a big step back from the leadership of the company, sacrificing a large proportion of Personal income can only get the hearts of employees, and then make the development of their own enterprises a brighter future. ★
It can be seen that suffering a loss is no longer a loss of interests in the ordinary sense, but more of a kind of tolerance and a kind of giving.This kind of indifference in the face of gains and losses, and the courage to judge the situation is the demeanor of a general.We have heard the story of the friendship between Guan and Bao for a long time: others said that Guan Zhong was taking advantage of Bao Shuya, but Bao Shuya spoke for Guan Zhong everywhere and recommended Guan Zhong as prime minister.Regardless of gain or loss, Bao Shuya made a lifelong friend and found a general for the country.It is written in the history books: When Dayu controlled the floods, he went through the house three times and refused to enter. He sacrificed his personal family interests and worked for the people. He finally won the hearts of the people and supported him as emperor.Therefore, those who know how to give and don't care about losing money can get more compensation, while those who play tricks everywhere, compare pennies and pennies, and only want to get what they don't want to pay, must be mediocre.

If you suffer a little loss today, you may be able to gain some support and help tomorrow.In life, we must take a long-term view.If you always care about the gains and losses in front of you, I am afraid that good luck will not patronize you.

(Section [-] If you want to win, you are not afraid of losing
One of the conditions for Harvard Business School to select students is that students should be as brave and fearless as a "Spartan warrior", have the courage to accept the challenges of life, fight bravely and succeed in the torrent of life.

From the perspective of elites, the most important qualities are tenacious endurance and high endurance.There is no smooth road in life. On the road of personal growth, setbacks, blows, and failures are inevitable. Without the ability to tenaciously endure various harsh environments and difficulties, and without the ability to withstand various blows and setbacks at a high level, success cannot come.

Smooth sailing is of course the best.Setbacks are a bitter medicine, and they are often encountered many times along the way.Since "frustration" is inevitable, we must face it squarely, use it effectively, and digest and absorb all its effects.

Victory or defeat is standard issue.On the journey of life, from the beginning to the end, there are not only flowers and sunshine, but also thorns and haze to greet us. If we give up trying because we are afraid of setbacks and failures, we will never succeed.Failure is like sand in the fresh air. If you close the windows because you are afraid of the sand, you will never get fresh air.If you want to win, don't be afraid of losing. Losing is not shameful. On the contrary, if you can correctly view failure and sum up experience and lessons from it, you can go one step closer to success.

★Indomitable President
Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States and one of the greatest figures in world history.His life is an extraordinary life. From his life experience, we can deeply understand his life motto: If you want to succeed, you are not afraid of failure.

On February 1809, 2, Lincoln was born in a poor peasant family in Hardin County, Kentucky. In order to make a living, the young Lincoln embarked on the road of business. Unexpectedly, at the age of 12, his business failed and suffered heavy losses.So in 22, Lincoln enlisted in the army. After retiring from the army, local residents elected Lincoln, who was enthusiastic about public affairs, as a candidate for the state legislature, but his initial election was unsuccessful.So he left the business again. Unfortunately, due to investment failure, his business failed again.However, none of these discouraged the young Lincoln. He used his spare time to read a lot of history and literature books, hoping that through self-improvement, he would have the opportunity to run for the state legislature again. Huang Tian paid off, because of his enthusiasm for public affairs , and his brilliant political speeches, was finally elected to the state legislature in 1982.

However, just when his career was on the rise, his lover passed away, which brought him great pain.Lincoln had a nervous breakdown at the age of 27 and had to stay home to recuperate. At the age of 29, Lincoln participated in the state speaker election, but due to insufficient preparation and other reasons, the election failed. At the age of 34, Lincoln ran for Congress, but failed.Three years later, Lincoln ran for Congress again. His failure three years ago gave him experience in preparing for the direction and running for the election. This time he succeeded.However, in the general election for re-election to Congress, Lincoln failed miserably.

After the establishment of the Republican Party, Lincoln joined and participated in the Republican Party's vice presidential election in 1856. He insisted that slavery should be abolished, but it must be abolished through peaceful means.Although he did not succeed in this campaign, it greatly expanded his political influence and paved the way for his future political journey.After several years of rough exploration, in 1860, Lincoln became the presidential candidate of the Republican Party. In November of the same year, the election was announced, and Lincoln was elected as the 11th president of the United States with 200 million votes.Thinking back to his previous political career, how many failures he experienced before he achieved today's success.It can be said that it was a mysterious force that pushed Lincoln from the cabin to the White House, and this mysterious force was the spirit of not admitting defeat. ★
The revolutionary Marx once spoke highly of Lincoln: Lincoln is a person who "will not be frightened by difficulties, will not be frustrated by failure, and will not be confused by success. He marches unrelentingly towards his great goal, and never Acting lightly, he moves steadily forward, never backward.

The same is true for us ordinary people. We should not be afraid of failure. Failure does not mean that you are not good, but it forges you on the road to success.Which piece of gold is not out of the furnace after thousands of tempers?In a person's life, success is not achieved casually, and no one can see a rainbow until he has experienced wind and rain.Failure in career, failure in marriage, and failure in studies are nothing. These may be the forging that you have to go through in order to succeed in life.Remember: No matter where you lose, you have to get up there and move on.If you stop for fear of failure, you will never see a good end.

(End of this chapter)