Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 58
When many people encounter things, they are always overwhelmed and easily fall into a dead end.I am afraid that many people have experienced the experience of cutting corners, and this kind of contradiction has caused many people to suffer.People with high emotional intelligence will not do this. When they find that one direction does not work, they will try to change another direction. Maybe that is the place you have been looking for for a long time.

(Section [-]: Suffering is a blessing, and the environment is born from the heart

Suffering is something that everyone does not want to face, but when it appears in our lives, we cannot escape. At this time, we need to look at it in a different direction-hardship is blessing.

Bitterness is an indispensable calcium element in life. If you have not experienced hardship, it means that your life is not complete. Learn to suffer and know how to endure hardship, and you will be able to gain a lot from it.Bitterness, although tormenting people, is also the most direct way to train people.Enduring hardship is a kind of capital, because if you don't experience a bit of cold, how can you have the fragrance of plum blossoms?Only after having tasted the bitterness of life can the harvested fruit be sweeter.

A child who grows up in a greenhouse, without the exercise of wind and rain, without the baking of the scorching sun, will easily be overwhelmed by the harsh conditions outside the greenhouse. This mental calcium deficiency also tells us that Appropriate hardship is a must.Suffering exercises one's mind and tempers one's will, enabling one to look forward to beauty more optimistically, and the road will become easier and easier to walk from a new life.

Mencius said, therefore, when Heaven will send a great mission to man, he must first suffer from his will, exhaust his muscles and bones, starve his body and skin, empty his body, and disturb his actions.Enduring hardship is a blessing, and it is an inevitable prelude to achieving a great career.

★Training of the flying king
It is said that there is a kind of eagle eagle living on the Amazon plain, and this eagle is called the "king of flight" of the Amazon plain.However, the road to become the king of flying is not smooth, you have to go through a period of hardship that other birds have never had.When the little vulture eagle just learned to fly, its mother broke most of the ribs on its wings, then carried the little vulture eagle to high places such as mountain tops and treetops, and then threw it from top to bottom, forcing the little vulture eagle to fly. The eagle reluctantly flew.The little vulture eagle in trouble has a strong survival force, and its injured wings can still flap. At this time, due to the strong regeneration ability of bones, the injured wings have been experienced in the hyperemia. Like a regenerated phoenix, full of magical power.But if there are kind-hearted people, take the little vulture eagle home, bandage its wounds, and let it heal slowly, then it will escape the hardships, but when it is put back on the plain, It can no longer fly high.Enduring hardship is a blessing, and enduring hardship gave the eagle eagle a pair of magical and powerful wings. ★
Life is a complex of happiness and pain. We cannot guarantee anyone that his life will be full of sweetness. On the contrary, we can be sure that everyone's life is a mixture of happiness and pain.Happiness can give you a wonderful feeling, but pain can give you wings that are different from ordinary people.

★Suffering Van Gogh
The life of the world-famous painter Van Gogh can be said to have gone through all kinds of hardships. From the lines in "The Biography of Van Gogh", we can deeply understand the wounds and pains of this great painter.Perhaps no one in this world can truly understand his pain.It's hard for us to imagine what kind of pain he had the heart to cut off one of his ears with a razor blade; it's even harder for us to imagine the kind of suffering that made him face his stomach in the wheat field One shot was fired, and it was not fatal.The painter died in excruciating pain two days later.

Maybe he had a mental breakdown early on, maybe he was tired of this miserable life long ago, but at the same time, the suffering gave him great creative inspiration.In his short 37 years of life, this young artist has dedicated famous paintings that shocked the world.His early paintings liked to use the brown tone of the Dutch school, but the enthusiasm in his nature made him abandon the bleakness and silence of the Dutch school, and quickly moved away from the Impressionists, because the Impressionists pursued the instant reality of the external world and he was full of subjects. Conscious mental states are very different.In his work, objects are grasped not by lines but by circumstances.He re-altered reality in order to achieve tangible truth, which led to the birth of expressionism.

History has proved that this painter who had been unsuccessful during his lifetime was finally recognized several years after his death.One of his works, "Portrait of Dr. Gachet", has now been auctioned for a sky-high price of 8250 million US dollars.This is the value given to it by the suffering of the author. ★
Although the writer Shi Tiesheng lost his legs, he touched a generation with his heart and nose.When he was the most youthful and proud age, he lost his legs. This kind of suffering is unbearable for most people.However, Shi Tiesheng persisted and came over, and became a writer.Regarding suffering, he said: "I believe more and more that life is a sea of ​​suffering, a punishment, and original sin. The most appropriate attitude towards the place of punishment is to regard it as a place of tempering."

Suffering is inevitable.This suffering can be mild or severe, no matter which kind of fate arranges for you, you can't resist it.But you have to believe that fate is fair, as much as your bitterness is, there will be as much sweetness behind it.Don't be afraid to suffer, look at suffering from another angle and accept it.When you get over it, that's when you fly free.

(The second section is full of suffering, how can there be any happiness?
I remember buying a kind of bitter candy when I was a child. When I first ate this kind of candy, it was very bitter. Many children vomited it out because they couldn’t bear it. Extra sweet.If you discard the sugar early because you can't stand the bitter taste, then you won't be able to taste the sweetness later.There is no end to suffering, how can there be happiness?Life is like a piece of bitter candy. Its true taste is bitterness first and then sweetness, or half bitterness and sweetness. If you give up hope for it early because of its bitterness, then the sweetness of life will never come.

★Macas who has come to the end of all hardships

In the 20s, Berry Macas came to the United States from Russia with his parents, and the family settled in a poor neighborhood in Newwick.His arrival allowed his mother, who had suffered from rheumatism for a long time and could not get out of bed to walk, to walk again.His mother often told him to have confidence in life, and life will always be full of hardships.The mother's ability to get out of bed and walk again just verified this mantra of the mother.This optimistic attitude towards life has subtly affected his life.

Bailey Maca recalled that although her mother’s rheumatism did not fully recover, she never complained about her life. She even took off the plaster bandages wrapped around her hands from time to time, washed the children’s clothes in the cold winter, and Cooking for the kids in the summer.Despite the hardships of life, my mother always believed in the truth that all hardships come with rewards.

Marcus' dream since childhood was to go to medical school and become a doctor after graduation.Because of his family's financial constraints, he chose the nearby Newwick campus of Rutger University, so that he could live at home and save the cost of living on campus.Marcus started pre-med studies and excelled.

One day, the dean of the department informed Marcas that he had won a scholarship to go to medical school for him, but he himself had to pay another $1 in study fees.This was a huge outlay for Marcus' family situation at the time, and it was unaffordable.As a result, Marcus had to drop out of school and go to Florida to find a job.On the way, Marcus called his mother and told her the sad news.His mother's answer gave him courage: "Son, don't lose hope, don't be afraid of suffering, sooner or later you will be rewarded!"

Later, Marcus worked as a waiter in a restaurant for a year. After he had some savings, he chose the pharmacy school in New Jersey to continue his dream.After graduating, he started marketing pharmaceuticals, which introduced him to the merchandise retail industry and began to love it, until he jumped ship to a merchandise retail company called Convenience in the west, and he had a real idea of ​​​​his life. .

In the "Convenience" company, he often sees many people who decorate and repair their houses by themselves to buy various home improvement necessities, but they cannot buy them all in one place.One day, he suddenly had an idea: If there is a large shopping mall that includes all home improvement material stores, such as kitchen and bathroom equipment stores, paint stores, and wood stores, wouldn't it be more convenient for customers?Wouldn't it be better if every dealer knew how to fix a toilet or install a ceiling fan?This was the origin of Marcus' dream.

One day in 1978, the boss summoned him, and Marcus talked to the boss about his proposal, hoping that through his proposal, "Convenience Company" could be turned into a large profitable supermarket chain.However, the boss thought it was Markus showing off his talents in front of him, so instead of accepting his opinion, he fired Markas instead.

His mother's words came to his mind again, he was not hit, the bitterness gave him more strength and courage, he decided to let go and do it himself.Marcus took advantage of the dismissal, determined to be his own boss, and set about realizing his vision of creating a large home-improvement supply chain.His supermarket will target a large population of working-class people who are the main force in doing home improvement by themselves. In doing so, he just provides them with timely and just-right help.As a result, a large home improvement material company named "Family" came into being.

Under the careful management of Marcus, the business of this material company is very prosperous, and its business has spread all over the United States, and even began to expand to the world.Today, Marcus is 72 years old and has been in the retail marketing market for more than 50 years.When talking about his success, he always said humbly, it's nothing, it's just that I persisted all the way, and in the end all the hard work paid off. ★
Life is a bottle of ups and downs, you can't be full of honey all the way.The true meaning of life is that there is bitterness and sweetness, first bitterness and then sweetness, eating sweetness and remembering bitterness are the two states of life that are constantly intersecting.There is no end to suffering, how can there be happiness?Use this philosophy of life to spur yourself to endure hardships and keep moving forward, then a sweet life will appear soon.

(Section [-] Suffering is an inevitable tribulation
Suffering is a university, and all those who succeed in their careers are qualified graduates from this school. Only after experiencing suffering can you become stronger.When many people see the aura of successful people, they start to complain about the unfairness of life. These people only see the good side, but they don't see that they have also come through the storm.How can you see a beautiful rainbow without experiencing wind and rain?Stop complaining, the courage to accept suffering is the courage that a successful person should have.

There are unpredictable things in the sky, and people have misfortunes and blessings.Suffering and opportunity are fair to everyone, and they often appear at the same time. Many people shut out opportunities because they are afraid of suffering.Suffering is not terrible, what is terrible is escape.Look at those mediocre people who cry because of suffering, panic because they are not going well, and when they should stand up and resist, they are sluggish, have no passion for struggle, and are finally beaten and defeated.Look at those successful people, they face the suffering with a smile, and bravely accept the training of suffering.They are well versed in the philosophy and wisdom of life: since suffering is a necessary suffering for success, let the storm come more violently.

★A teenager who has come out of a difficult life

Yang Huaibao, a young man trekking through hardships, was awarded the University Character Award by the Hunan Federation of Students in 2006. Let us learn about life from his experience.

Yang Huaibao is a child from an ordinary family. However, his parents are seriously ill and his younger brother is young, so these heavy life chores are all on him.He has been the pillar of the family since he was 12 years old, all the way to the present, because of the hardships in life, he is stronger and more sensible than his peers.

When Yang Huaibao was in junior high school, his mother lost her ability to work due to illness, which undoubtedly made this poor family worse.For the young Yang Huaibao, the hardships of life have just begun.In his freshman year of high school, his younger brother also started school.The sick father came to work on a construction site in the outskirts of the county. After only a few days of work, his knee was injured by a steel bar.Because he did not go to a regular hospital for surgical treatment, his father's foot suffered sequelae, and he lost the ability to do heavy work, and the family's life fell into a desperate situation.After learning about Yang Huaibao's family background, the school decided to exempt him from tuition fees for three years.

While his father was recovering from illness, Yang Huaibao was a sophomore in high school, and his family managed to borrow 200 yuan for him.Yang Huaibao calculated the accounts, and all expenses such as food expenses should not exceed 2 yuan per day in order to finish the semester.Therefore, Yang Huaibao bought 6 steamed buns for the day every morning, ate one steamed bun in the morning, drank a bowl of porridge, went to the school cafeteria at noon to get a free bowl of soup, ate it with 3 steamed buns, and ate the remaining two steamed buns at night.At that time, at the age when his body was growing, Yang Huaibao was often exhausted due to hunger.

However, even under such harsh conditions, Yang Huaibao persisted.In the third year of high school, when others were sprinting every minute and every second, he used the time after class to go with his father to help people harvest rape and wheat near the county town.During that time, Yang Huaibao took his father to the fields by bicycle after school in the afternoon, and worked until 1 o'clock in the morning.When receiving wages, Yang Huaibao was pleasantly surprised to find that he and his father could earn more than 60 yuan a night.

Even though the work took up a lot of his precious study time, he was admitted to Xiangtan University in Hunan Province and became the first undergraduate student in the village.On the fourth day after the college entrance examination, Yang Huaibao came to Xi'an alone to find a job.At the urging of the head teacher, Yang Huaibao entered Xiangtan University with 4 yuan earned from part-time jobs.

Every day in the university, when others were enjoying the leisure and entertainment when they first came to the university, Yang Huaibao shuttled around the campus after class, looking for a job that could earn living expenses. During the Spring Festival of 2004, Yang Huaibao returned to the home where he had been away for half a year. Yang Huaibao found that his parents were getting worse and worse. His growing younger brother was also very thin. They all needed someone to take care of them.Yang Huaibao made a difficult decision that surprised everyone: to take his family to college.Renting a house, finding a school for his younger brother, and helping his father find a job within his ability, Yang Huaibao finally took care of everything and brought his father, mother, and younger brother to Xiangtan.

In order to earn money to support his family, Yang Huaibao looked around for part-time jobs while studying. During the summer vacation of 2004, Yang Huaibao found three jobs in one go in Changsha: riding a bicycle during the day, selling chewing gum along the street, taking advantage of the free time to recruit students for a certain university, and teaching at students’ homes at night.Every day Yang Huaibao went out early in the morning and was busy until 3 o'clock in the evening.After a summer vacation, he earned more than 10 yuan.

In 2006, Yang Huaibao successfully applied to TCL Corporation.However, because his parents needed someone to take care of him, he finally reluctantly quit his job far away and made the decision to take the postgraduate entrance examination.

In just twenty years, Yang Huaibao has endured hardships that other young people have never encountered, but he has never bowed to the hardships of life.Up to now, he has passed the most difficult period, and he believes that the road ahead will get better and better.Suffering makes life.Romain Rolland's John Christopher is also a darling of suffering. From birth to death, this strong walker has never changed his strong belief in his heart because of suffering or temptation. ★
Suffering is an inevitable tribulation. This is not only a philosophy of life, but also a belief in life.With this kind of belief, no matter how much suffering you suffer, you can walk through it with strength.As it is sung in a song: the sun always comes after the storm.Walking through the fog, the sun will shine on the earth.

(Section [-] Adversity is a gift from God
God bestowed plum blossoms with refreshing fragrance, but also gave it the adversity that it must endure the cold.How can you get the tangy fragrance of plum blossoms without going through a bit of cold?Adversity is the prelude to fragrance, and adversity is the premise of success.We should look at the emergence of adversity optimistically, don't avoid its experience, and remember one thing: adversity is a gift from God.

The moment we were born in this world, God gave us many gifts, including life, language, beauty, health, and of course adversity and tempering.Maybe you will ask whether tempering can be called a gift. There are some pains and tears in it, and the answer is yes.Adversity allows you to understand life more deeply and experience life more truly.It is precisely because of the existence of these adversities that your life is full of strength and fighting spirit.

(End of this chapter)