Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 62 Using Emotional Skills to Influence Others (3)
1.When answering the phone, say your name and your department or team.If the call is not being transferred from the switchboard, also state the name of the company.

2.Unless the person on the phone says otherwise, make sure to only address the person by their last name and title.If the person on the call does not identify themselves, ask, "Who are you?" Knowing the person on the call by name can help to start the conversation humanely.

3.The speaking speed is moderate, about 150-160 words per minute.Talking too fast can give the impression of being impatient, while speaking too slowly can signal that you are not interested.

4.Put a smile on your face when you call.Smiles can be transmitted to the other party through telephone lines or fiber optics!

5.Practice good listening skills and take notes while you listen.Be alert for both verbal statements and nonverbal signals, such as hesitating sounds or sighs of irritation.

6.Use fast and friendly language to build partnerships.There are some phrases that are considered friendly and helpful, while others are irritating and useless.For example, "I will do it" and "I will try it", "This situation" and "Your problem", "I can finish it by one point" and "I will finish it as soon as possible", compare the two in each group Effect.

7.Use upbeat, trendy language.Since it's harder to make a positive impression over the phone than face-to-face, it's okay to incorporate more trendy language into your conversations.

8.Use voicemail.If you specify when you'll be back in your voicemail greeting, the caller can choose whether to call back or leave a message for you.When you leave a message, give an appropriate time to return your call.

9.The greeting you leave on voicemail or on the answering machine should be informative and feel friendly.

10.Avoid the most common voicemail mistakes by stating your name and phone number clearly so the recipient can hear you when leaving a message.

(Section [-] Applying Emotional Skills to Others
People with high emotional intelligence are able to control not only their own emotions, but also the emotions of other people.Just like sailing in the ocean, people with high emotional intelligence do more than just steer the sea, they also need to set the course, know how to deal with changes and dock their ship on distant land.

The Story of Jack Welch

Jack Welch, CEO of General Electric, was difficult to deal with and might be considered a leader with low emotional intelligence.Despite the popular belief, this judgment is not entirely correct.During Welch's long tenure at GE, he demonstrated the full range of abilities expected of an emotionally intelligent leader.Despite his reputation for being rude, outspoken, impulsive, and sometimes obnoxious, Welch demonstrated his ability to engage, inspire, and create shared purpose.

Welch said of his discussions with his managers about performance issues that he would sound the alarm in advance to keep them from going down a dangerous path.His straightforward style ensures that subordinate managers understand what is wrong and what needs to be done to fix it.If the job problem goes unresolved for too long, that manager loses his job.Welch's understanding of others and his demanding work style allowed subordinate managers to get the information they needed. By analyzing the information, they could foresee their professional and emotional futures.As Welch puts it: "...it shouldn't be a surprise to have someone leave the company. Before I fire someone, I have at least two or three conversations with them to express my disappointment and give them a chance to come back... If he's going to be surprised and disappointed, it's already in the first conversation, not when you let him go."

Welch related an incident when he gave a speech to the Elfan Society.Alvan Society is an elite social organization whose members are all from the management of General Electric Company.When Welch was invited to the society as a guest, he had the audacity to say that the society was an anachronism and had no value at all.Undoubtedly, his speech was not warmly received by everyone.In fact, "When I finished speaking, there was silence and everyone was stunned. For the next hour, I kept walking through the crowd and smiling to soften the blow I gave them. But, Everyone is not in the mood to be happy."★
Of course, any leader with a modicum of emotional intelligence would not be surprised by the emotions such a speech elicits.Did Welch know what he was doing, and did he foresee the reaction of others after he delivered the message he wanted to convey.

In fact, this information gave the Alvan society the "medicine" it needed, because the society was really sick.Welch prescribed it, but the drug made patients feel pain.The Alvan Association was reorganized shortly after Welch's words, and Welch's words now seem to be a wake-up call and a challenge.Members of the Society heard the alarm bells and rose to the challenge of making the Society a community service organization that meant a lot to GE and to its members.

Here's an EQ analysis of Welch's handling of things:
Judging feelings: The mood of this community is complacency, complacency, and happiness.

Use of emotion: The whole society is short-sighted, they mainly focus on internal affairs and themselves, and do not see the big picture.

Understand feelings: A wake-up call for them can shake them out of their complacency, where they may be surprised and angry.

Controlling Emotions: When they come to their senses, their complacent worldview is challenged, and this emotional dissonance can inspire them to grow and mature.

Some of Welch's behavior did not appear to be of high EQ level, and his attitude at work was not always pleasant or encouraging.However, we have to admire Welch's emotional skills in actions or decisions, at least they are all part of the four emotional skills.

Managing in tough times requires making tough decisions.If you can't make up your mind, if you're too nice to deal with negative feelings and conflicts, you can be the kind of person who excels when things are going well and is left alone when times are tough.

(The third section builds the interpersonal network
The network of relationships provides owners with a wide circle of support that they can call upon when they need it.Networking is an art.Your current friends, old acquaintances and colleagues can all be your starting point for contacts.Although they may not be able to help you directly, they may know who can help you.

1.get to know as many people as possible

There are many ways to get to know more people, such as attending company business meetings, chatting with people in teahouses for a while, writing down the contact information of those you want to meet again, looking for opportunities to introduce some people to other interests Like-minded people, build an informal network so that people can get together for drinks every week.

2.Create a group to research and discuss a particular topic
Draw everyone into the discussion about the topic and let them speak freely.Keep an eye out for people who are recognized as possible leaders - single them out and invite them to the parties you organize.If you don’t have a chance to be in a conversation with them that day, call them later: tell them you’re so sorry you missed it that day, and invite them out for a drink.More importantly, don't ignore those who are lower than you.Today's newcomer may be tomorrow's senior manager.Also, if you're only interested in those who can help you right now, it's impossible to have true friends online because other people will immediately see you as a snobby and hypocritical person.

3.Make a plan for talking to people

When networking and meeting people, listening can help you start conversations easily.People who are well versed in this way will first carefully observe these strangers when they come into contact with them.They will make judgments on the basis of observation, decide which people would be pleasant conversation subjects, take note of their general demeanor—the degree of relaxation and general posture—and they will wait, when the time is right, to intervene.They wait for a pause, pick out a conversation partner from the crowd or make a relevant comment to the last person to speak.Before they talk about a new topic, they will stay with the group until people accept them.A particularly confident person may attack the conversation as soon as they join in, gaining attention by telling a joke or offering their point of view on an argument.If you are this type of person, then this approach can be regarded as an effective way.If you're not a very confident person, taking a softer approach may make it easier for you to enter the conversation.

In a meeting, don't wait too long before speaking.The longer you wait, the harder it may be for you to speak.If you are a new person in a meeting, you should feel the atmosphere of the discussion first, and then wait for a topic that you feel confident to express your opinion on. When there is a gap in the discussion or the speaker ends his speech, you can express yourself opinion.If you find that the topic you were going to talk about hasn't come up after a long wait, start by asking an easy-to-discuss question to get the meeting back on track for discussing the topic or a particular point or suggestion.

4.Create a favor bank balance sheet
Building a network of supporters who can support you when you need it should be a long-term goal of yours.The reason they are willing to do this is because you have established a favor bank balancing account with them.The steps to establish a balance account in Renqing Bank are as follows:

(1) Choose a friend and imagine that you have opened a two-part account with this person in a favor bank.The left side of the account reflects favor credits and the right side of the account reflects favor debits.

(2) Recall all the things you did for your friend: friendship, help, time, money, support, etc., and write them down on the left.

(3) Recall all the things you "taken" from the favor bank: debts, quarrels, unfriendly behavior, etc., and put them on the right.

How many items are there on the left and right?Compare them.More importantly, it must be understood that after the comparison, how much more items are there on the left than on the right?
The establishment of this "favor bank balance sheet" is helpful to understand the expenditure and deposit of favor.Part of being human in everyday life is the small acts of smiling, giving caresses, kind words, gestures of kindness, offering a drink, making suggestions, genuine concern for personal problems, and so on.The other part is larger acts, including job offers, loans, referrals, favors, and forgiveness of big mistakes.

Studies have shown that successful people have a broad network of interpersonal relationships, which is composed of his supporters and various contacts.When a job needs to be done, or a problem needs to be solved, they can call in someone to help.They accept help because they have a larger "equity" in the balance account at the favor bank, or because they are seen as a person of influence who will be able to reward someone who is willing to help today in the future.

(End of this chapter)