Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 65
Then, he thought about everything he had, trying to find out what he could do.The first answer that came to his mind was: "Very well, I have a fried chicken recipe that everyone will love. I don't know if restaurants want it? What if I not only sell this fried chicken recipe, but also teach them how to fry it?" Well, then the business of the restaurant will definitely get better and better."

Sanders immediately took action. He knocked on the door of the house and told every restaurant his idea: "I have a good fried chicken recipe. If you can adopt it, I believe the business will definitely increase, and I hope it will increase. from the turnover." However, many restaurant owners directly rejected him: "Come on, old guy, if there is such a good secret recipe, why are you still wearing such a ridiculous white dress, stop lying to us , you should go back to take care of yourself."

Countless rejections did not dampen his self-confidence, he cheered himself up, it's okay, they don't know that my fried chicken recipe is unique, and someone will definitely accept it.Yes, try another one, there is still a chance.

The persistent Sanders finally found an acceptance at a restaurant, and that was when he was rejected 1009 times, and he finally earned himself a chance. ★
In fact, since we came into this world, we have learned to give ourselves another chance: we have learned to walk, we have learned to speak, we have learned to read... However, as we grow up, we become timid, Become cowardly, we are afraid of failure, afraid of setbacks, and even because of a fall, we will never be able to get up again.

It is not uncommon for people to commit suicide due to failure in the college entrance examination, and the incidents of hurting others and themselves due to emotional failure are always reported in the newspapers again and again. We grow up, why are we immature instead?Life is only once, so precious, but many people don't cherish it; failure can happen many times, but many people can't accept it.

The mediocre always puts the tune of "If you don't succeed, you will be benevolent", so when you fail, you can only miss the sun and the stars in your tears; wise men believe in the motto "Failure is the mother of success", Possess the self-confidence of "I will use it when I am born, and it will come back when all the money is gone", so they will give themselves another chance, and then find that "the willows are dark and the flowers are bright in another village".A failed wound cannot infect an entire healthy life, so get up again when you fall down.We always encourage others to be strong and hopeful for tomorrow, but we forget this rule in our own world.Don't waste time, please give yourself another chance, even if you have failed thousands of times, even if you have been scarred by reality, but life is still there, confidence is still there, then your wonderful life is still Will appear.

(Section [-] Give yourself a good change

Everyone's current situation is caused by their previous life attitudes. Therefore, if you want to change your future life and make it smoother, you must first change your current thinking.If you insist on wrong ideas and are stubborn and unwilling to change, no matter how hard you try, you may not be able to experience the joy of success.So, don't be afraid to change, be brave enough to try changes that you have never made before, and you will experience greater happiness in the process.

When you indulge in a comfortable environment for too long, everything is set, you just walk along the inertia of life, and you no longer have the ardent desire to pursue career and success in your heart.Everything is as still as still water, entering a near-vacuum state, and the edges, corners and sharpness of the past have been smoothed out.Such a person is sad, destined to be mediocre in his career and achieve nothing.Therefore, the wise approach should start with changing yourself.Only when a person has the courage to change, can the track of career and life break away from the original inherent mode and gallop in a new direction.

A person will change because he has experienced a lot, and his views on things and the way of doing things will change, but not everyone will change in the ideal direction. Some people will give up on themselves because of some setbacks. My dream has become a failure in life, living in poverty; some people have become more mature and stable in the experience of life, calmer, more and more confident in themselves, and their life and career are getting more and more prosperous .Why do changes in people make such a big difference?The big reason is that their attitudes towards life are different, and the content they interpret from the setbacks they encounter is different.In the face of setbacks, some people are unwilling to make changes and blindly blame others, so their fighting spirit is exhausted over time; but those who are strong in life will actively think about coping strategies in the face of setbacks to make themselves stronger. Let setbacks lose their power in front of you.So they can always face life with a smile and become the envy of others.

It is not difficult to make a good change for yourself. As long as you put your heart into it, as long as you are willing, you will make yourself better and stronger, and life will become more favorable to you.No one is born destined to be successful. They are also constantly learning on the road of life, constantly adjusting their pace, and changing themselves in a good direction to finally realize their own brilliance.

★Change begins with yourself

Le Wen, who graduated from news editing, joined the fashion magazine, which surprised many people, because her major is not related to fashion. On the other hand, she looks mediocre, so she looks out of place in the fashion magazine with so many beauties.The editor-in-chief is a very tricky person, and she will fire her assistant at every turn, so this job is a great challenge for her, but she did not give up her job because of this, but chose to let herself change, let herself be in Integrate into this fashion circle in the shortest possible time.Change is not just a matter of words, it needs to be paid. Le Wen sacrificed a lot of time off work and holidays to organize the assistant work that she is not familiar with; and because she doesn't know much about fashion, she made many friends Friends in the fashion circle; read fashion magazines extensively to improve my understanding of fashion; I have also made great improvements in my dressing, and my colleagues slowly accepted her after seeing her so serious and hardworking.Two years later, Le Wen has become a radiant, confident assistant with an elegant demeanor. She has completely changed the youthful way she started to dabble in the fashion circle, and the editor-in-chief is also very satisfied with her.

Speaking of his own changes, Le Wen said to his friends like this: "Sometimes people have to face many unexpected environments. Do you let the environment adapt to you or let yourself make good changes to adapt to the environment? I think a lot Sometimes choosing the latter is a way of survival, because sometimes the environment is cruel and it is impossible to change according to your wishes. Therefore, what we can do is to let ourselves change and adapt to the environment. Change requires a price, and we If you want to change, you must learn humbly, and learn from the strengths of those around you to make up for your weaknesses, so that you can become better and better.”★
From Le Wen, we can see the surprise that change brings to a person. Therefore, when faced with setbacks or challenges, don’t be afraid to subvert what you already have, and change yourself bravely so that you can move towards your ideal self. Transformation, a person who refuses to change can only wander in place, and it is impossible to appreciate a more beautiful scenery.

(The weight of the ninth section depends on oneself
Everyone hopes that they can be appreciated by their superiors and respected by their colleagues; they all hope that their ideas can be affirmed and valued by others.Yes, people hope that they have weight in the eyes of others and in the field they are engaged in.But in many cases, this weight is not given to you by others, but you fight for yourself.If a person always has low self-esteem and feels that his ideas will definitely not be recognized by others, then he will not have the courage to express his views to others. Over time, others will regard him as a person without his own opinions, so No one will ask him for his views and opinions.If a person is very confident, or thinks highly of himself, and can express his own unique opinions on some things, it will make a good impression on the people around him. As time goes by, everyone will pay more and more attention to him. view.

Therefore, your weight is up to you to decide.At any time, don't underestimate yourself. How can a person who doesn't know how to love himself get the love of others?Often only confident people are more likely to be respected and valued by others.

★The Dragon King and the Frog
One day, the Dragon King and the frog met on the seashore. After saying hello, the frog asked the Dragon King: "My lord, what is your residence like?" The Dragon King said: "A palace made of pearls, a tower made of shells; The pillars of the hall are solid and beautiful." After the Dragon King finished speaking, he asked the frog, "What about you? How about your residence?" The frog said, "My residence is like a carpet of green moss, with delicate grass, gurgling springs, and white stones. Yingtian." After speaking, the frog asked the Dragon King another question: "What about when you are happy? What about when you are angry?" The Dragon King said: "If I am happy, I will send nectar to moisten the earth and make the grains plentiful; if I am angry , then blow the storm first, and then strike lightning, so that there is no grass left within a thousand miles. So, what about you?" The frog said: "When I am happy, I will face the breeze and the moon, and croak; Stare your eyes, then bulge your belly, and finally your anger will fade away, and everything will be over."★
The Dragon King's Dragon Palace is naturally enviable and luxurious, and the frog naturally does not have such an environment, but the frog did not feel that its environment is bad, so it blindly envied the Dragon King. On the contrary, it showed its own Self-confidence, let the Dragon King see that it lives equally happily and lives equally comfortably.This is to persuade people that all people are born equal, no, no matter whether you are poor or rich, you should not look down on yourself or others.But in real life, there are many people who always look at themselves and feel sorry for themselves, feel that they are inferior to others in everything, and always look inferior. How can such a person get the respect of others? Remember Lu Xun's words - "Don't Think of yourself as someone else's fool, and don't treat others as your fool!"

People with low self-esteem often love vanity and are afraid of being looked down upon by others, so they always try their best to make themselves look noble and upscale. Such people are often more likely to put themselves in a difficult situation.

Remember the Marguerite in "The Necklace"?What kind of vain woman is that?In order to go to a prom, she borrowed a so-called diamond necklace from a friend, hoping that she would not be looked down upon by others. Indeed, she became the focus of attention that night, but after a night of revelry, she found that she put on the "expensive" necklace. The necklace of "was lost, which was tantamount to worsening the situation for the family that was not wealthy, so she spent her most precious youth to repay the debt. When she finally paid off the debt, she learned that she had originally The necklace I borrowed was fake and not worth much at all.How ironic this ending is!
She doesn't understand the nobility and weight of a person at all, how can a necklace bring it?Whether you can let yourself have weight is more critical is your own attitude, what kind of position you position yourself in.A rich life is indeed enviable, because you can do many things that poor people cannot do, but is there no fun in a life without wealth?Can't you get the respect of others?There is no need to deliberately do things that you are not capable of in order to satisfy your vanity. As long as you are self-reliant, self-improving, and live an open life, no one will look down on you even if you are poor.As long as you can think highly of yourself, as long as you are willing to work hard and fight hard for your own life, that's enough.

Only when a person values ​​his own weight, others will also think highly of you, so no matter how big or small the ability, status, or condition, a person should have full self-confidence, and should not feel inferior to others. This concept of equality is everyone's should have.

(End of this chapter)