Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 10: Be a Self-aware Person (3)
The heaviest price that a highly developed modern society requires people to pay for this luxury is not being able to own themselves.In the high-speed, fast-paced, strongly coupled, and multi-connected modern society, people have lost their past leisure and are highly stressed.Thousands of messages rush to the eyes, and the ever-changing things need to be dealt with in a timely manner.In the midst of quick eyes, quick hands, quick feet, quick mouth, quick reaction, and the comprehensive busyness of the five senses, limbs and body, the only thing that is idle is a thinking brain.A restless mind is empty.The brain needs to work in silence.A fast-paced life may train a brain that is quick, alert, and accurate, but often loses a philosopher's quiet and thoughtful brain.

The kind of comprehensive inspection of the overall situation, the high-level perspective of large-scale connections, the careful sorting out of complex contexts, the careful stripping of winding layers, and the patient waiting when ideas are blocked and inspiration has not arrived, deep digging after finding a breakthrough point, and after mastering Expansion by taking advantage of the trend... All of these must have a calm and free mind, a comfortable and autonomous living space, and a peaceful state of mind that is quiet, noise-free, and undisturbed.

Most of the modern people who live in a noisy and busy environment are "disturbed" people.You must belong to the fast "flow". Life is like a boat, like an untied boat. Surrounded by the rapid flow, it is the most difficult to hold on to yourself.Thoreau, who advocates a simple life, is a real rich man who holds his own life certificate, and can control his life most freely.He believes: "The more a person can let go of many things, the richer he is." He said leisurely: "My greatest skill is to need very little", "I love to leave more for my life." room".Life is controlled with ease in his hands.On the contrary, some rich men with a lot of money are "welded" to a certain high position by their own gold and cannot move.Thoreau said sympathetically: "There is still a kind of people in my mind. This kind of people looks rich, but in fact they are the most terribly poor of all classes. Although they have saved some spare money, they don't know how to use it. It doesn't know how to get rid of it, so they cast themselves a pair of gold and silver shackles." The high position imprisons itself, the rich and the poor, things are often connected like this.Police cars whiz by on the streets, foreign heads of state or domestic prisoners; presidents and paupers have no money in their pockets; neither the queen nor the scavenger needs a business card.The dialectic in life is worth tasting deeply.

An important sign that a person belongs to himself is to have a mind that can think independently.Some people who have not lost their philosophical thinking always want to break free from the state of "loss of tranquility", seek a pure place, and try to regain their self.

Many famous Chinese and foreign scholars, thinkers, and writers in the past dynasties may not live in poverty, some are even quite rich, and have their own manors and castles, but almost without exception they all live a "simple life".

Thoreau is a model in this regard. On the shore of Walden Pond, he won plenty of free time for himself by living a simple and colorful life.He said: "Because I have a preference for certain things, and I especially value my freedom, and because I can suffer and be successful, I don't want to spend my time buying rich rugs, or anything else. fine furniture, or delicious food, or a Greek or Gothic house." Thoreau was able to read and think quietly because he was freed from the tediousness of life. He said: "My wooden house , than a university, it is not only more suitable for thought, but also more suitable for serious reading." Walden Pond really deserves to be a sacred place for academic research.

As Montaigne said: "We must keep a free space that is completely our own, and establish our true freedom and the most important seclusion and tranquility." Such wise, beautiful, and holy words full of life philosophy have been left behind.

You are the center of your life.

Those who don't know how to cherish themselves will not really know how to cherish others.There is always a focus in a person's life. What do you take as the focus of your life?Career, love, family, friendship... In short, is it someone else, or yourself?
We've all heard it: Someone chose a major they didn't like, married someone they didn't love, or took a career they didn't like in order to accommodate their parents.Someone sees others making big profits in the market, and blindly follows them. As a result, they run poorly and suffer a lot of losses... All of these are due to your lack of self-confidence. Everything depends on others.In fact, if you can't even believe in yourself with certainty, the encouragement of others will have no effect at all.Other people's ideas can never fully represent your own, and you absolutely have the right to decide whether to accept other people's opinions or be influenced by others.

Taking oneself as the center of life, in layman's terms, is to advocate "selfishness", although this is very different from our "benevolence" way of "worrying about the world's worries first, and enjoying the world's joys later".

We Chinese have always regarded "loving others" as a virtue, while "loving ourselves" means "selfishness" as a shame. "Love yourself" will be discussed and despised by others.

In fact, selfishness is not a bad thing.Be selfish, but not stingy or hurt others.To be selfish is to put yourself first, to look at problems and do things from your own perspective, that is, to be self-centered and centered.

Selfishness is not a shameful or disgraceful act.On the contrary, blindly compromising is the greatest tragedy in life.Like the kind and weak fairy bird in the fairy tale, in order to repay the savior, it plucks one of its own feathers every time to meet his needs.Finally, on a cold winter night, without a single feather, it froze to death on the sculpture in the square.It will never understand until it dies that it is its so-called "kindness" and "lover" that cultivate the other's greed and inertia, and also cause it to lose its life.Isn't it the same with people?

Just like a lover, if you take love as the center of your life and give all of yourself to the person you love, your life will no longer belong to you, and your lover will also bear a heavy burden.Love is originally the crystallization of two independent hearts colliding with each other. Just imagine how long the flame of love can burn if there is only one beating heart left?It's okay to rely on others for a while, but what about a lifetime?
Just like relatives, we have the care and love of our elders when we are young, and the filial care and love of our children and grandchildren when we are old, but they all have or will have their own lives and will leave us.

In fact, only you are the center of life, only you belong to yourself completely, no matter you are young or old, no matter you gain or lose, you are all yourself.No matter how hard or tired, for yourself, no regrets, no regrets, work diligently.

When we regard ourselves as the center of life, we regard ourselves as confidants, as friends, we talk to ourselves, communicate, supervise ourselves, punish ourselves, reward ourselves, comfort ourselves, without pretense, without privacy, and gain the soul Rest in peace and receive justice.Be happy for your own happiness, and be sad for your own sorrow.

Remember: only you are the real focus of your life, and only you can give yourself the most powerful affirmation, which is the best foundation for breakthroughs in your growth and potential development.

Stay true to yourself.

Modern society is fast-paced.Everyone you see on the street is in a hurry, there seems to be endless things to do, and they are busy all day long.If you go up and ask casually a passer-by who passes you: are you living your real life?The other party may give you a look of bewilderment.Under the tide of the commodity economy, many people have lost their true selves.

When elegant scholars leave the university lecture hall to fight in the ebb and flow of the business world, when passionate poets leave their pens and immerse themselves in the ups and downs of the stock market, you should not only ask: Are they happy?Do they have a sense of belonging?When he presents you with a business card with a lot of various titles, do you envy his achievements, or regret his lack?
A writer told such a thing.One day, he went to a temple to eat a fast meal.During the dinner, he asked the monk why the fast food in the temple is so light?Why not put more condiments?Why not put more weight on the oil and salt?The old monk pointed to a plate of green vegetables on the table and said with a smile: Everyone in the world eats green vegetables, but there are a few people who can taste the taste of green vegetables.If you want to taste the taste of vegetables, you just need to wash them and boil them in clean water. In this way, what we absorb is the true nutrition of vegetables.The green vegetables eaten by the world seem to be carefully prepared, with five flavors blended and delicious. In fact, what they taste is just the taste of the seasoning of the vegetables, and what they are satisfied with is only the superb skills of the chef. As for the taste of the vegetables And nutrition, they did not taste.

The words of the old man revealed the true nature of our negligence and forgetting in our lives.yes!In today's complex and changeable society, in order to protect themselves, everyone deliberately adds some "seasoning" to themselves and whitewashes themselves.Although this is a need for self-protection, because everyone is wearing a mask, we are gradually losing our authenticity, and it is difficult to appreciate the beauty that authenticity brings us.

Truth is the true embodiment of maintaining one's true nature, and one should pay attention to truth.Truth is rare beauty.When we are in tune with ourselves, when we are with people who are equally authentic and forthright, we feel authentic.Authenticity helps us energize like circulating energy.In the children's story "The Cotton Bunny," the toy bunny asks: What is real?Reality is what happens to you naturally.The toy leather horse explained to it.

Remove the mask and think back to a time when you felt "real."Think about any points you have that are sharp, fragile, or need to be kept with care.Do you get angry easily, get scared, or expect others to do what you want?One way to change these behaviors is to talk about them.We don’t have to be perfect; instead, acknowledging our inadequacies can make us more authentic and make intimacy easier.

To maintain the true nature of being a human being is not to lose your true side, use your true side to observe, and you will be able to see the essence of a person through the superficial appearance.

As we become more authentic to ourselves, we see our soul beneath the surface and stop worrying about age, looks, and thinning hair.At this time, we see the beauty of the spirit, which is nourished by the warmth born of intimacy.

The happiness and success that a person values ​​most can only be obtained from the true nature of one's own life.The rich value gold, but the responsible farmers value the land under their feet that fastens their souls, because they firmly believe that "there is gold in the soil".

A life that loses its true colors is a gray and dull life. As a human being, one should maintain one's true colors.

You decide your own destiny.

In "Blessings", Lu Xun described Xianglin's wife as an unfortunate woman who only knew how to beg to gods and Buddhas to change her own destiny.Even today, when many people encounter difficulties, setbacks, adversities, or misfortunes on the way forward, they always complain about their own fate, lamenting that their fate is so ill-fated, and thus easily Blame others for your own failures, pin your hopes for success on others, and hope for changes in your destiny in the favor of God.

Everyone knows something about themselves, but some people understand it more clearly, while others have never seriously thought about it and are still not very clear.Some people overestimate their knowledge of themselves, while others always underestimate their abilities.The mastery of one's own destiny lies in the understanding of oneself, which means knowing one's destiny.

But there is such a kind of person, the more he understands his own destiny, the clearer he is, the more he believes that there is something controlling his own destiny in the dark, and he thinks that everything he owns now is arranged by heaven Yes, it was ordained by God.So I gave up the effort to fight, and let many opportunities to change my destiny slip away in vain.Instead of making subjective efforts, I just waited blindly. When I saw a rabbit crashed and died on the tree stump, I stayed by the tree stump all my life. I never thought that I could leave the tree stump and go to other places to catch rabbits.

That's not what being human should be like.To be a man, one should be optimistic about one's fate, knowing one's fate but not believing one's fate.People's fate can be changed.The progress of history is led by those who never believe in fate and never bow to fate.In the past, Chen Sheng and Wu Guang shouted "the princes and generals are better than each other", and they first fought against their own destiny.People should be more like this, and they should often ask themselves: "Is this what I am, can I not change?" The most important thing is the transcendence of oneself.Only by surpassing oneself can one change one's own destiny and become the master of one's own destiny.

Born in the same environment, sat in the same classroom, listened to the same teacher, but the results after graduation are very different, what is the reason?It seems that it cannot be answered by a simple environmental determinism.Among them, the difference that appears lies in the different attitudes of each person towards their own destiny.There is a big difference in outcomes between people who believe in fate and those who don't.

It can be seen that the human situation is never rigid and unreasonable, and the situation changes according to certain laws.People will have their own opportunities and setbacks, their own impermanence and their own permanence, their own tailwinds and their own bad luck.Destiny is up to me, and happiness lies in seeking it by myself. No matter in adversity, prosperity or ordinary circumstances, I always surpass myself with an attitude of being optimistic about my destiny and not believing in it, and be the master of my own destiny.

You are an eagle soaring in the sky.

There is such a fable:

A naughty boy whose father owned a chicken farm.One day he went to a nearby mountain and found an eagle's nest.He stole an eagle's egg from the nest, took it back to the chicken farm, mixed the eagle's egg with the egg, and let the hen hatch it.The little eagle was born and raised among a group of chickens, and it never thought of itself as anything other than a chicken.At first it was content, living the same life as a chicken.However, when it grew up, it found that it was different from its partners.He had a strange feeling of unease inside him, and he thought, "I must be more than a chicken." But, he kept doing nothing.Until one day, when the little eagle saw an eagle soaring over the chicken farm, it suddenly felt a strange power in its wings, and felt the heart beating violently in its chest.It looked up at the eagle, and a thought appeared in its heart: "The chicken farm is not the place for me to stay. I want to fly in the blue sky like it." It spread its wings. The power and nature of flying.Finally, it first flew to the top of a low mountain, then flew to the top of a higher mountain, and finally rushed into the blue sky and reached the top of the high mountain.It finally confirmed that he is an eagle!

Maybe you will say: "I already understand what you mean. But it is an eagle, not a chicken, and it can fly. And I, maybe a chicken, am an ordinary person. Therefore, I have never Expect yourself to do something great." That's the problem. You never expect yourself to do something great!It's a fact, and it's a deeply problematic fact, that we only pin ourselves within the bounds of our self-expectations.

Edison once said: "If we do all the things we can do, we will undoubtedly surprise ourselves." Everyone has huge and incomparable potential, but some people's potential has been awakened, while others potential is still dormant.Any successful person will not be born. The root cause of success is to develop people's endless potential.As long as you develop your potential with a positive attitude, you will have inexhaustible energy, your ability will become stronger the more you use it, and you will be closer to success.On the contrary, if you hold a negative attitude, do not develop your potential and let it sleep, then you can only sigh the injustice of fate.

No matter what kind of difficulties or crises you encounter, as long as you think you can do it, you can handle and solve them.Positive thinking about your abilities can be a positive force and result in effective actions that lead you to success.

The determination to discover yourself, the habit of relying on yourself, can make you stronger and stronger.Crutches are for the lame, not for the strong young.No matter who, if he tries to rely on spiritual crutches to walk through life, he will definitely not go very far, and he will never become a great success.

The gate of the palace of success is not open at will, and every entrant has his own carefully crafted key.The key to open the door to success must be forged by yourself.The process of forging is the process of releasing your potential and awakening your potential.If you are shy around new people; if you fear new and unfamiliar situations; if you often feel worried, anxious, and jumpy; if you have "stress symptoms" like facial twitches, unnecessary blinking, trembling, and trouble sleeping ;If you shrink back and stay in the lower reaches, then you are too depressed, you are too cautious about things and "consider" too much, which limits the release of your potential. "Suppressed personality" is a kind of suppression of personal potential. People with "suppressed personality" cannot express their inner creative self, so they appear stagnant, withdrawn, imprisoned, bound, refuse to express themselves, are afraid of being themselves, and tighten their true self. Locked deep in his heart, his thinking almost came to a standstill.This kind of potential is not only not released, but consumed in a state of exhaustion all day long.

There is one and only one person in the world who can influence your success or failure, and that person is yourself.Only you can truly support you on your way to success.

(End of this chapter)