Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 36 Be a Mentally Healthy Person (1)
Don't want too much.

This is a very attractive society, this is an era of inflated desires, people's hearts are always full of desires and extravagant demands, modern people who pursue fame and fortune always want high-end famous brands to wear, delicacies from mountains and seas to eat, If you live in a country house, if you want to go, you need a BMW car.Everything is governed by desire.

Rousseau, an outstanding French enlightenment philosopher, once made a very appropriate evaluation of people with too much materialism. He said: "At the age of ten, he was spoiled by snacks, at the age of 20, he was loved by lovers, at the age of 30, he was spoiled by happiness, at the age of 40, he was spoiled by ambition, and at the age of 50, he was spoiled by greed. When will people be able to only pursue wisdom?" Indeed, the human heart cannot be pure because there are too many desires, the gap of desires will never be filled, and the human heart will never be satisfied. When I become a small official, I want to be a big official, and when I become a high official, I want to become a fairy... There will never be peace of mind, and there will never be happiness.

The great writer Tolstoy once told such a story:
There was a man who wanted to get a piece of land, and the landlord said to him, early in the morning, you run out from here, and you can plant a flagpole for a short distance. As long as you come back before the sun sets, the land where the flagpole is planted will belong to you.The man ran desperately, the sun was westward and he was not satisfied.Before the sun set, he ran back, but he was exhausted, and he didn't get up after falling.Someone dug a hole and buried him on the spot.When praying to this man, the pastor said: "How much land does a person need? It's that big."

A lot of frustration in life is because you don't get what you want.In fact, after we have worked so hard and toiled, isn’t it the end result that only the land where our bodies are buried is left?Aesop said it well: "Many people want more things, but lose what they have now." This can be said to be the best interpretation of the loss outweighing the gain.

In fact, everyone has desires, wants to live a happy and happy life, and wants to have enough food and clothing. This is human nature.However, if we turn this desire into an improper desire and endless greed, then we will become slaves of desire invisibly.Under the control of desire, we have to sharpen our heads and drill in for power, status, and money.We often feel that we are very tired, but still feel dissatisfied, because in our opinion, many people have more wealth than our own life, and many people have more power than ourselves.So we have no way out, but bite the bullet and rush forward, overdrawing our physical strength, energy and life in desperation.

Ask yourself, can such a life not be tiring?Being weighed heavily by desire, can you not be exhausted?Calm down and think about it, is there any goal that we really must achieve, and what is worth our precious life in exchange for?Friends, let us cut off excess desires, reduce all desires and reduce them, so that real desires can emerge.In this way, you will find that the real and ordinary life is the happiest.With this detached state of mind, you can do things in an orderly and unhurried manner.In the face of various changes in the outside world, we will not be surprised or afraid, neither sullen nor angry, nor irritable.But for material temptation, the heart does not move, the hands do not itch.There is no trouble caused by small belly and chicken intestines, and there is no burden of fame and wealth.Live easy and live comfortably.Contented and happy during the day, sleep peacefully at night, feel at ease when walking, and have no regrets when I suddenly look back.

The ancients said: "It's not expensive to be rich, and it's not sad to be poor." At that time, Tao Yuanming hoeed and planted lotus, and Ji Shukang practiced hard under the tree. Don't be discouraged by losses, and not proud of gains.This kind of life is also a very high state of life!
Life is like a river, with its source, its flow and its end.No matter how long the river of life is, it will eventually reach its end and flow into the ocean, and life will eventually come to an end.What's wrong with having less desire and more happiness when you're alive?
Resolve jealousy.

When a person finds himself inferior to others, instead of trying to improve himself, he degrades others. This behavior is envy.Everyone has jealousy, but there are degrees of severity.In a market economy characterized by competition, jealousy seems to have become an epidemic and a scourge of society.

Bacon said: "Envy can make people get short-term pleasure, and it can also make misfortune more bitter." Jealousy is a complex emotion. It thinks that others' advancement is their own retreat, so feelings of awe, humiliation, inferiority, and anger Then came one after another, biting people's hearts.This is of course unbearable, what to do?The best way is to find out the other party's weaknesses.When I really can't find it, I try to create a rumor and try my best to pull others down.A narrow-minded person must grow up himself, and will not allow others to grow up; if he does not grow up, he will especially not allow others to grow up.This is what Mr. Lu Xun said about dragging people into the water: "I can't do it, but he is the same as me. If everyone can't survive, it will bring down the luck."

A jealous person, unable to achieve a great cause himself, tries to underestimate the greatness of others to make it equal to himself, or deprives others of their admirable achievements by doubting other people's motives and slandering others' hypocrisy.As a result, all kinds of mentality caused by jealousy are manifested: one is passive and depressed, depressed;Envy is crueler than the grave.

As Shakespeare said: "A jealous woman produces more poison than a mad dog." Although the one who suffers from jealousy is tortured like hell, the jealous person himself is like a worm trapped in an ant's nest suffer the same.Tell me, how terrible is this?
The envious suffers more than anyone else, and suffers terribly both from his own misfortune and from the happiness of others.Envy does to the envious what rust does to iron.The reason why narrow-minded people cannot avoid the end of failure is that they have bad intentions.It's fine if you don't want others to surpass yourself. What's worse is that when you are unlucky, you want others to have a bad life.To achieve such a goal, there is really no other way but to hurt others and oneself.

Russell said: "A person who is jealous not only takes happiness from what he owns, but also takes pain from what others have." Since jealousy is like poison, we must divert it and prevent the fire of jealousy from becoming a thorn in our hearts. rope.Aloofness and self-righteousness are the enemies of enterprising spirit.A drop of water cannot make an ocean, and a tree cannot make a forest.Cooperation is indispensable for the success of any business, but jealousy always breaks up all cooperation.Therefore, to overcome jealousy, you and I must always remind ourselves: only you will accomplish nothing.

Baruch said: "Don't be jealous. The best way is to assume that what others can do, you can do it yourself, or even do it better." Remember, once you have jealousy, it is an admission that you are not as good as others.If you want to surpass others, you must first surpass yourself.Pope once said: "For a mean-hearted person, he is a slave to jealousy; for a learned and temperamental person, jealousy turns into a competitive heart." Believe in the excellence of others does not hinder your own progress , On the contrary, it provides yourself with a competitor, a role model, which can give you unprecedented motivation.In fact, every person who is really immersed in his career has no time to be jealous of others.

Don't let the snake of jealousy get into your heart. This snake will corrupt people's minds and destroy people's hearts.

Stay away from vanity.

It is not false to say that it is necessary to save face and suffer.In life, there are always some people who love vanity and make trouble for themselves for the sake of face.The less money some people have, the more they like to pretend to be rich. They have no money in their pockets, but they still want to invite friends to a high-end restaurant for a good meal; When chatting with people, you always have to tell others about the big meals you have eaten and the high-end places you have been to.Think about it carefully, what is the use of this vanity?You can only find guilt for yourself.After satisfying my vanity, I have no rice to eat, no clothes to wear, no shelter to live in, no shoes to walk around, and I live in a corner like a trapped animal. Why bother?From this, I think of a metaphor: a dead chicken is hard on its feet.Although the chicken is dead, its feet are still holding on.It's a bit ridiculous when you think about it. If you're dead, what's the point of holding on?
The root of their face-saving psychology is that they are afraid that others will look down on them, and they are uneasy. Therefore, when they face a product, they often think about vanity more than the price. The inferiority complex of having no money haunts them like a devil. , in the end they succumbed to their vanity and reluctantly bought what they could not afford.As a result, there is a strange phenomenon in society, the poorer people are, the less they like cheap goods, and the poorer they are, the more they like to spend money to show themselves.

In fact, the really rich may not be so lavish.There is a chairman of several companies who never cares about others calling him the God of Wealth.When he and his friends go to restaurants for dinner, they usually order random dishes and a few cups of tea, that's all.His clothes are also very ordinary, not famous brands, but neat.His car is not high-end, it's just an ordinary car.His company's performance is very good, and his personal assets are not cheap, but he can still not be tired of vanity.

If you pay attention to those foreign guests who are traveling and sightseeing, they are all dressed casually and frugally, and some are even close to sloppy. In fact, there are many wealthy people among these people.

Face is sometimes a bluffing mask, and it is very tiring and sad to live just for face. In fact, the key to whether a person has face is not a question of whether he is rich or not, but a person's character.Sometimes, "lizi" is more important than face.

True wisdom exists in simplicity.People who like to show their wealth to the outside, most of them lack calmness and have a superficial heart.In life, we should be more objective and realistic, let the "inner" be more substantial, have a plain connotation, and have a frank happiness, what's wrong?
Greed is like a bottomless pit.

Before starting the topic, let me tell you a story.

There is a mountain, and there is a magical cave in the mountain, and the treasures in it are enough to last a lifetime.But this cave only opens once every 100 years.When a person accidentally passed the mountain, he happened to encounter a rare opportunity in a century when the cave door opened wide. He entered the cave excitedly and found a large pile of gold, silver and jewels inside. He hurriedly packed it into a bag.Since the cave door may close at any time, he must leave as soon as possible.

When he triumphantly filled a bag full of jewels, he walked out of the cave with a happy expression, but found that his hat was forgotten in it when he came out, so he rushed into the cave again, but the time had come, and he disappeared together with the cave without a trace.

The story is simple but intriguing.

Greedy people are drawn by desire, desire is boundless, greed is boundless.

Greedy people are slaves of desire, driven by desire, they are busy and do not know where they are going.

Greedy people are often selfish, scheming and calculating, but they get nothing in the end.

There is an old saying: "Man dies for wealth, and bird dies for food." People cannot be without desires, otherwise they will lose the motivation to move forward, but people cannot have greed, because greed is a bottomless pit, and you will never be satisfied.The Soviet educator Makarenko once said: "Human desire itself is not greedy. If a person comes to a pine forest from a smoky city and breathes clean air, he is very happy. No one will say that he is exhausted." Oxygen is too greedy. Greed begins when the needs of one man conflict with those of another, and arises out of the need to wrest pleasure and satisfaction from one's neighbor by force, cunning, theft."

A poor man lacks many things, but a greedy man lacks everything!

A poor man can be satisfied with a little, a luxurious man can be satisfied with many things, but a greedy man can be satisfied with everything.So greedy people are always dissatisfied, they live in the pain of dissatisfaction every day, greedy people want everything, but in the end they have nothing.

There is a fable:

When God created centipedes, he didn't make them feet, but they could crawl as fast as snakes.One day, when he saw antelopes, sika deer and other animals with feet running faster than him, he was very upset, so he said enviously, "Hmph! The more legs you have, the faster you can run!"

So it prayed to God: "God! I wish I had more feet than other animals."

God granted its request.He put many feet in front of the centipede and let it use it freely.

The centipede couldn't wait to pick up these feet, and stick them to the body one by one, from head to tail, until there was no more place to stick it, and then it reluctantly stopped.

It looked at itself covered with feet contentedly, and secretly rejoiced: "Now, I can fly out like an arrow!" However, when it started to run, it realized that it could not control these feet at all.These feet clattered and went their own way, and it had to concentrate so that the mass of feet would not stumble over each other and move forward smoothly.As a result, it goes slower than before.

Nothing is better than more. The centipede wants to have more feet because of greed, but the result is counterproductive. The feet have become the ropes that restrain its actions, and the price is heavy.

The "Bible" once said that if you gain the whole world and lose your own life, then you are not worth the loss.Things gained through greed will always be a burden in life.Greed can make people lose the joy of life, and at the worst, it can cost their wealth and life.The pressure of life is increasing, and the smile on the face is getting less and less. This may be the price of greed.

Friends, in order to make life full of joy, throw away the burden of greed!Life is short, let's take a walk in style!

Throw away cowardly thoughts.

Cowardly people are afraid of stressful situations, so they are also afraid of competition.In the face of opponents or difficulties, they are often not good at persevering, and choose to avoid or give in.Cowardly people do not ignore self-esteem, but they are often more willing to exchange humiliation for peace.

Cowardly people are often afraid of opportunities because they are not used to taking on challenges.What they see from opportunities is sorrow, but in real sorrow, they can't see opportunities.

Cowardly people are not good at conflict, so they also fear the sword, and the weapons of offense and defense cannot defend themselves in their hands.They can't be ferocious tigers and wolves, they only want to be docile lambs, and they are often lambs at the mercy of others.

Cowards are always laughed at, and being laughed at makes cowards weaker.

Cowardly people often feel sorry for themselves and have no nobility in life in their hearts.Great ambitions and fighting spirit are floating clouds in their eyes, elusive and unattainable.

Cowardice is usually the companion of fear, and fear strengthens cowardice.They all bind the heart and hands and feet of man.

Cowards often get a taste of tragedy.In Chinese history, Li Yu, the empress of the Southern Tang Dynasty, had a cowardly character, and finally failed to escape the tragic fate of being reduced to a subjugated king and dying of drinking doves.

At the beginning, Song Taizu Zhao Kuangyin threatened and oppressed Southern Tang unscrupulously and aggressively.Lin Renzhao, the envoy of the Zhenhai Festival, was brave and resourceful. Hearing that Song Taizu had built thousands of warships in Jingnan, he reported to Empress Li that Song Taizu was actually plotting Jiangnan.After the patriots of the Southern Tang Dynasty learned of this incident, they also petitioned him one after another, asking to go to Jingnan to secretly burn the warship and destroy the plan of the Song Dynasty to commit crimes in the south.However, Empress Li was timid and afraid of getting into trouble, so he didn't dare to play accurately, so he lost the good opportunity to defend against the Song Dynasty's southern invasion.

Later, when the Southern Tang Dynasty was destroyed, Empress Li became a prisoner. His wife Xiaohou Zhou was often called into the Song Palace to serve the Song Emperor, and it took many days before she was released. Empress Li never dared to ask.It's just that every time the little Hou Zhou came back from the palace, he closed the door tightly, hiding in the room alone and sobbing mournfully.For all this, Li Yu swallowed his anger, swallowing his sorrow, pain, and shame.When I really can't hold back, I write some poems and chat to express my feelings.

Although Li Yu is very accomplished in poetry, as a monarch and a husband, he is a coward and a loser.

Frank, the greatest salesman in the United States, said: "If you are a coward, then you are your own worst enemy; if you are a warrior, then you are your own best friend." Everything is impossible, just like if a pearl fisherman is frightened by a crocodile, how can he get a precious pearl?In fact, a person who is always in fear is not a free person. He will always be surrounded by various fears and worries, unable to see the road ahead, let alone the scenery ahead.As the famous French writer Montaigne said: "Whoever is afraid of suffering is already suffering because of fear." A coward is afraid of death, but in fact, he is no longer alive.

There is nothing absolute in the world, and a coward is not doomed to be cowardly forever. As long as he summons up courage, declares war against difficulties and adversity, and takes action, he begins to become a warrior.Just as Lu Xun said: "May the young people in China get rid of the air-conditioning, just go up, and don't have to listen to the words of those who give up on themselves. Those who can do things do things, those who can make a sound, have a part of heat and a part of light, just like a firefly. Shine a little light in the dark, don't wait for the torch."

Take a step back.

Life is in the complicated world, and there are inextricably linked with others, bumps and frictions are inevitable.At this time, if there is hatred all over the sky, and if you are justified and do not forgive others, the consequence can only be that both sides will suffer, and the net will be broken.Which is more cost-effective is self-evident.

(End of this chapter)