Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 6 Be a Confident Person (2)
At present, research on the influence of language and image on bodily functions is being carried out in the world.Research has shown that even random words can have surprising effects on bodily functions.

Therefore, it is necessary to control your speech.In the language of successful people, there will be no words that belittle themselves, even if they are talking to themselves.Some people are not like that, as soon as they are depressed, their language immediately becomes weak, "I, I can't do it at all", "I'm not born to be useful", "If there is such a condition..." "But..." "At that time, it should be ..." Yun Yun.

Successful people say to themselves every day "I can do it", "I'm ready", "It's okay this time", "I'm in a much better mental state than last time".Their soliloquy is precisely to encourage and motivate themselves.

Winners believe in their abilities, and they are proud of themselves.Because they are convinced that they are worthy, they can love everyone as they love themselves.

However, don't overestimate your ability, just like a person with a small appetite will be able to hold on after eating a piece of pie.If a person with low ability does things beyond his ability, then he will accomplish nothing and do what he can do. This will not only succeed, but also improve his ability and confidence.

We need to recognize our own strength. There are five main methods for reference:
1 Use psychological methods to objectively test your ability;

2 Pay attention to the reactions of friends, colleagues, bosses and customers to you;

3. Examine your history carefully. Tracking history can reveal the present and the future;

4. Put yourself in a harsh and novel environment, and then know yourself from the behavior;

5 Use imagination to develop potential abilities.

All five of these approaches can generate valuable, fresh, and different insights.Great for self-knowledge.

Confident people know how to assert themselves.

One can work long hours, be creative, be smart, be brilliant, have many insights, and even be lucky. But if one does not understand the importance of one's own ideas in the creative process, all will fail.

The most important element in the creation of success, wealth and prosperity comes from your inner thoughts.As a saying reminds us: "It is impossible to hold on to a particular set of ideas, whether good or bad, without having some influence on character and environment. A man cannot directly choose his environment, but he can choose his own ideas , which, though indirectly, necessarily shapes his environment.

If you could peer into the minds of successful people, you would find a wealth of positive thoughts about experiencing success without hesitation.In order to create external wealth, you must first create the idea of ​​prosperity.You have to see yourself successful and successfully enact your dreams and aspirations in your mind.

Many successful people from all walks of life in real life.While they all have different talents, temperaments, skills, work ethic and professional backgrounds, they have one thing in common.The golden thread in common is that they all feel successful.They never questioned that fact, and they couldn't understand why anyone would question their own greatness.It is difficult for them to understand why others cannot succeed, because for them, the secret of success is simple: success comes from self-confidence, which is then transferred to the material world.It is not upside down, as many people believe.Successful people know that one aspect of their lives they can control is their thoughts.We all have this strength, so let's start there too.

Confident people have the courage to change themselves.

A long time ago, humans walked with bare feet.

A king traveled to a remote country, because the road was rough and there were many broken stones, which made his feet hurt and numb.After returning to the palace, he issued an order to pave all the roads in the country with a layer of cowhide.He believes that doing so is not only for himself, but also for the benefit of his people, so that everyone will no longer suffer from stinging pain when walking.

But even if all the cattle in the country are killed, there is still not enough leather to be raised, and the money and manpower used are not even known.Although this was impossible and even quite stupid, everyone could only shake their heads and sigh because it was the king's order.A clever servant boldly suggested to the king: "My king, why do you have to work so hard, sacrifice so many cows, and spend so much money? Why don't you just wrap your feet with two small pieces of cowhide?" The king listened for a long time. Surprised, but also comprehended immediately, so he immediately withdrew his order and adopted this suggestion.It is said that this is the origin of "leather shoes".

It is difficult to change the world; it is relatively easy to change yourself.

Instead of changing the world, it is better to change yourself first and "wrap your feet".

We can change some of our concepts and practices to resist foreign invasion.When you change yourself, the world in your eyes will naturally change accordingly.

If you want to see the world change, then the first thing that must change is yourself.

If you change your heart, you will change your attitude; if you change your attitude, you will change your habits; if you change your habits, your life will change.

Any feeling is up to you.

In reality, people are busy using material life to satisfy their lives.As a result, noisy, noisy, and all cumbersome things are flooding around us, and people are eager to find a peaceful haven.Where to find it, in fact, peace is in your heart.

Legend has it that a king offered a large bounty to whoever painted the most peaceful image.Many painters sent their works to the palace, some painted the dusk forest, some painted the quiet river, children playing on the sand, rainbows hanging high in the sky, rose petals with a few drops of dew... the king personally saw them For each work, only two will be selected in the end.

The first piece of work is a pool of quiet lake water. The surrounding mountains and blue sky are reflected on the lake surface. The sky is dotted with a few white clouds. If you look closely, you can see a hut on the left corner of the lake. The hut opens a door. There was smoke rising from the windows and chimneys, indicating that someone was preparing dinner.

In the second painting, several mountains are also drawn. The shape of the mountains is dark and rugged, and the peaks are sharp and lonely.The sky over the mountain was pitch black, lightning flashed through the dark clouds, and hail and heavy rain fell from the sky.

This painting is out of place with the others, but if you look closely, you can see a small crevice in the steep rock pile, and there is a bird's nest in it.Despite the violent wind and rain, the little swallow in the bird's nest still squatted in the nest with a calm demeanor.

The king summoned his courtiers and awarded the first prize to the author of the second painting, explaining: "Peace is not to be found in a place where there is no noise, no problems, no hard work. Serenity The feeling is that people can maintain a clear mind even in adversity. There is only one true meaning of tranquility."

People are busy using material things to satisfy their lives, but they don't know that excessive pursuit of material desires is the main reason for their frustration.The only one who can fill your lonely heart is yourself.

Serenity is so, what about other feelings?
Confidence is acquired.

Aside from innate factors, another big source of shyness is our lack of self-confidence.

Modern early education theory believes that self-confidence is a kind of ability, and it is the first ability to be cultivated in children's childhood.That's why we advocate praising children more.

It is a pity that our generation did not grow up under the education of science and life.That is to say, we do not have the final say on genetics, and neither do we have final say on the growth process.The only thing we can do is to improve our life on the existing basis and strengthen the cultivation of self-confidence.

So, what kind of method should we use to accumulate self-confidence and overcome shyness bit by bit?

(1) Head on.

If we are very courageous people.We must gradually take off the shell of shyness in the actions of continuous resistance.For example, speaking in public again and again, from less to more.For example, when you are in a good state, take the initiative to say hello to strangers, and gradually, your interactions with any strangers will no longer embarrass us.

(2) Resignation.

If we are the kind of shy people might as well go along with the flow.That is, we don't care about our shyness.For example, at a party with many strangers, we can admit that we are shy and feel at ease, so that we have a calm and confident posture.

(3) Foster strengths and avoid weaknesses.

In the process of interacting with people, if you don't want to talk too much, you can smile more and treat people with a friendly and sincere attitude.

(4) Know in advance.

If you want to calm yourself down on some occasions, you can carefully remember other people's names or some related things. With understanding and grasp, you will naturally be able to avoid embarrassment.Or trying to do something well in life.Generally speaking, the more achievements a person achieves and the more affirmation he receives from others, the more confident he is, and self-confidence will bring calmness and generosity.

(5) Not afraid to make mistakes.

The more mistakes I make, the less I care about them. Instead, I let go, become more confident and less shy.

Make a choice between inferiority complex and self-confidence.

When we were young, we always saw a lot of successful people, but facing our fledgling self, every young person will always have a negative evaluation of himself when facing someone who is stronger than himself. When it exceeds a certain limit, it will evolve into an inferiority complex.

People with low self-esteem always lament that everything is unsatisfactory, and they always compare their weaknesses to others' strengths.Some people blush in front of others and can't speak; some people stutter when they encounter important meetings;Therefore, if the inferiority complex is not handled properly and cannot be relieved, it will make people depressed, and even go astray, fall into the abyss of crime, or embark on the road of suicide.

At the same time, people who have been shrouded in inferiority complex for a long time will not only lose balance in their mental activities, but also cause changes in their physiology. The most sensitive ones are the cardiovascular system and the digestive system, which will be damaged.Physiological changes in turn affect psychological changes and aggravate people's inferiority complex.

Inferiority is a person's inappropriate understanding of himself, and it is a negative psychology that one looks down on oneself.Under the effect of inferiority complex, when encountering difficulties and setbacks, there will often be emotional reactions of anxiety, discouragement, disappointment, and depression.If a person becomes a prisoner of low self-esteem, it will not only affect his physical and mental health, but also prevent his ingenuity and creativity from being brought into play, making him feel that he can hardly do anything and life is meaningless.Therefore, overcoming inferiority complex is a major obstacle on the road to success.

How can we free ourselves from the shackles of inferiority complex?The following methods can be used:

(1) Recognize your own thoughts.

Sometimes it's our thoughts that matter, not what we think.People's inferiority complex comes from a kind of negative self-suggestion in psychology, that is, "I can't do it".As the philosopher Spinoza said: "To look down on yourself because of pain is inferiority." This is what we usually say that we look down on ourselves.Pessimists tend to be depressed, and they think the same way.So we must first change the habit of looking at things with sunglasses, so that we can see the bright side of things.

(2) Relax.

Try to relax and don't think about unpleasant things.Maybe you'll find that things really aren't as serious as you thought.There will be a sense of enlightenment.

(3) Humor.

Learn to look at things with a humorous eye, and smile easily, and you will find that many things are actually very interesting.

(4) Associate with optimistic people.

Associating with optimistic people, their angles and ways of seeing things will infect you unconsciously.

(5) Try a little change.

Do a small experiment first.For example, change your hairstyle, put on some light makeup, and buy a more fashionable dress that you didn’t dare to try before... Looking at yourself in the mirror, you will feel a big difference in your mood. It turns out that you still have such a side.

(6) Seek help from others.

Seeking help from others is not a sign of incompetence. Sometimes the authorities are obsessed. When we can’t get out of the pessimistic quagmire, we can ask others to help analyze and change the way of thinking. Sometimes what we see is quite different.

(7) To increase confidence.

(End of this chapter)