Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 7 Be a Confident Person (3)
Because only if you believe in yourself, be optimistic, have full confidence in the future, and be proactive, is the most effective compensation method to eliminate inferiority complex and promote success.What pessimists lack is often not ability, but self-confidence.They often underestimate their own strength and think they can't do it.Remember one sentence: You can do what you say.When things are in front of you, if your first reaction is that I can do it, I can, then you will put in your best efforts to face it.At the same time, you know that the result of continuing like this is so tempting. When you put your heart and soul into it, you will finally find that you have really done it; Lost too many good opportunities that should be cherished, because you think you can't do it from the beginning, and you will find a reasonable excuse for yourself when you fail in the end: "Look, I thought so at the beginning, and it turned out to be exactly what I expected!"

(8) Know yourself correctly.

Analyze past performance.Self-evaluation should not be too high, and you must recognize your own shortcomings and weaknesses.Fully understand one's ability, quality and psychological characteristics, have a realistic attitude, do not exaggerate one's own shortcomings, and do not obliterate one's strengths, so as to establish an appropriate pursuit goal.Special attention should be paid to making up for defects and developing advantages, turning the pressure of inferiority into a driving force to exert advantages, and surpassing from inferiority.

Don't jump from one extreme to another when you get stuck in reality.Don't be ashamed to ask for advice for the sake of face, but learn from friends, classmates or colleagues with an open mind.

As the saying goes, "a ruler is short, but an inch is long", "gold is never pure, and no man is perfect".Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, so a proper comparison should be comprehensive.It compares both the above and the below; compares both advantages and disadvantages.Comparing with others, you can see your own value; comparing with others, you can spur yourself to make progress.In this way, it will come to the conclusion of "more than enough, more than below".No one in the world can escape this formula, and if you understand this, you will achieve a psychological balance.In fact, the most important comparison is comparing yourself with yourself.Walk your own path, work hard, make continuous progress, and radiate your own light and heat. This is a glorious and meaningful life.

(9) Look at things objectively and comprehensively.

People with inferiority complex always pay too much attention to their negative and negative side, but fail to see the positive and positive side, and lack the ability and confidence to analyze things objectively and comprehensively.This requires us to work hard to improve our ability to grasp the essence through phenomena, objectively analyze the factors that are beneficial and unfavorable to us, and especially to see our own strengths and potentials, instead of lamenting and underestimating ourselves.

(10) Actively communicate with people.

Don't always think that others look down on you and live in isolation.If you think highly of yourself, others will not easily look down on you.Whether you can get motivation from good interpersonal relationships depends on yourself.Consciously learn from others' strengths in the interaction with people around you, give full play to your own strengths, and cultivate your own abilities from group activities, so as to prevent the inferiority complex caused by ignorance and evasion.

(11) Make up for your own shortcomings in being aggressive.

Most people with low self-esteem are more sensitive and easy to accept negative cues from the outside world, thus becoming more and more trapped in low self-esteem and unable to extricate themselves.And if you treat your own shortcomings correctly, turn pressure into motivation, and work hard, you will achieve certain results, thereby enhancing your self-confidence and getting rid of low self-esteem.

Self-confidence is about eliminating negative personalities.

Self-confidence also requires us to cultivate a correct mentality that is neither happy with things nor sad with ourselves.Only in this way will our hearts not be swayed by external affairs, we will not worry about gains and losses, lose our belief in life, eventually wear down our ideals and beliefs, and lose the confidence that supports us to keep moving forward on the road of life.

Li Mi was a famous minister in the Tang Dynasty. He once assisted the emperors of three dynasties, namely Suzong, Daizong, and Dezong.Tang Taizong, Wu Zetian and early Tang Xuanzong reached the most glorious period of China's feudal dynasty, but since the late Tang Xuanzong, civil turmoil began, and the people were in dire straits.The Tang Suzong, Daizong, and Dezong periods went from bad to worse. Officials in the court were corrupt, and years of wars put the whole country in a precarious state.Li Mi was the prime minister at this time.

At first, Li Mi was ambitious, and he wanted to help the emperor reorganize the Tang Dynasty, so that the Tang Dynasty could once again have a heyday like the "Government of Zhenguan".However, people cannot develop against the laws of history. The Tang Dynasty has reached the end of its life, and no matter how many virtuous ministers assist it, it cannot save its fate of decline.What's more, with treacherous ministers in power, Li Mi and a few virtuous ministers could not use their fists at all.After years of official career, Li Mi saw through the darkness and the general trend of the demise of the Tang Dynasty, so he resigned and returned to his hometown.Unexpectedly, after Li Bi left, no one in the court could take on the position of prime minister. There was no other way, so the emperor sent someone to invite Li Bi to come out of the mountain.Li Mi refused to re-enter the court as an official no matter what.The emperor sent several groups of lobbyists, but none of them persuaded Li Mi.The emperor was very angry and thought to himself: Good Li Mi, you don't give me face so much, and you have sent so many ministers to invite you, but you refuse to come back.Therefore, the emperor issued an order to scare Li Mi, and if he refused to enter the court, he would be exiled to Qichun, a remote place.But Li Mi still refused to obey.Now the emperor was really angry, and he was sent to Qichun as expected.

At this time, Wei Bin was in charge of Qichun's defense.He admired Li Mi very much. Although Li Mi was exiled here as a sinner, Wei Bin still respected Li Mi very much, and took care of him everywhere, arranged a residence for him, and equipped him with servants.He often invites Li Mi to drink and chat at his house.Although Wei Bin has average talents, he is bold and likes to make friends, especially those who are capable and talented.Therefore, he has a lot of friends, and he also likes to invite friends to his house for small gatherings.On this day, Wei Bin invited some friends over for dinner, including Li Mi.The servants prepared rich food and wine for them in the gazebo, and the maids on both sides carried lanterns for them to illuminate.After the guests were seated, as usual, they toasted each other and greeted each other with greetings.But not long after the banquet started, the owl's cry of "cuckoo, cocoo" was heard, and the sound was very creepy.There is a folk saying that is widely circulated, which is called "night owls come into the house, and come for nothing".Wei Bin is a very superstitious person. Hearing the owl's cry, his expression immediately changed. The excitement on his face just now was also wiped away, replaced by depression, and he was so painful that he shed tears.The guests hurriedly asked Wei Bin: "What's the matter with you?" Wei Bin said: "The night owl comes into the house and comes for nothing. It seems that I am going to be unlucky. I am sorry that I have the old and the young, alas!" Said I was even more sad, and couldn't help crying.The guests were also infected by Wei Bin's words, and lost interest. Thinking about the current situation of Datang, it really is going to be a bad day.Seeing this, Li Mi laughed and said, "Everyone, don't be sad. Others think that the cry of night owls is a harbinger of bad luck. If we listen to it as an auspicious sound, then there is nothing to be sad about. Everyone try to think like this, don’t be afraid of its hooting, drink and chat happily!” After Li Mi said this, the guests gradually got better, and began to regard the owl’s hooting as an auspicious sound, I even hoped for it to bark, so the whole evening was very pleasant for everyone.

In the eyes of many people, the cry of a night owl is an ominous sign, and modern people also have this idea, but it is not the case. The owl is a kind of beneficial bird, which can help farmers eliminate pests.However, due to the influence of feudal superstition, people often use superstitious viewpoints to judge many ordinary phenomena in life, which is actually very ridiculous behavior.

Li Mi believes in his own grasp of the future, and he is free and easy in the face of "ominous omens", and even treats it as a kind of enjoyment.However, if we do not have confidence in ourselves, like Wei Bin, we will be paranoid and think of the worst in everything.Doing so will not only not bring you a good mood, but in the long run, it will also create a negative personality in you, and it will be difficult to achieve great success in the end.

Confidence is what allows us to perform at our best.

Undoubtedly, self-confidence can also allow us to play our best in the arena of life. On the contrary, because of lack of self-confidence, many outstanding people often lose themselves at critical moments.In ancient my country, there was a story about Liezi learning archery, which is quite thought-provoking.

Lie Yukou was an archery expert in ancient times. His archery skills were superb. It is said that his arrows were very accurate and unmatched by anyone at that time.

No one in Bohun had heard that Lie Yukou was a master archer, but he had never seen it with his own eyes, and he didn't know whether Lie Yukou had other outstanding qualities besides being a master archer.So in order to get to know Lie Yukou, one day, Bohun no one invited Lie Yukou to his archery practice field to perform archery. At the same time, he invited many people who were very prestigious at that time to participate.

Lie Yukou arrived as scheduled, and after some pleasantries, all the guests present asked Lie Yukou to demonstrate his superb archery skills. No one in Bohun said to Lie Yukou: "Everyone here today wants to admire your archery skills." Yes, just show your hands." So Lie Yukou changed his clothes and took out his bow and arrows.He first performed a hundred-step target shooting, and sure enough, every arrow hit the bull's-eye very accurately.All the guests present admired him very much and clapped their hands in applause, but no one in Bohun said anything.

In order to show that his archery is not only accurate but also as stable as Mount Tai, Lie Yukou ordered his subordinates to take a bowl full of water. When everyone was wondering if Lie Yukou was thirsty and wanted to drink water, he filled the bow again, and then asked someone to put the bowl down. Start shooting arrows on your own wrist.After shooting one arrow after another, one arrow after another, every time the arrows hit the target, because they shot so many that the arrows overlapped on the target, and when one arrow shot out, the other An arrow was placed on the bowstring again.At this time, Lie Yukou didn't move at all, his face was expressionless, and he focused on shooting arrows, which looked like a sculpture from a distance.Looking at the water in the bowl on his wrist, not a single drop was spilled.Seeing this, the people present were stunned at first, followed by cheers and applause.

I thought that no one would praise Bohun, but he said: "Your performance is very wonderful, which I admire very much. But this is just the way you shoot arrows in a normal state, and we all can't tell from it. Your true ability." Lie Yukou retorted dissatisfiedly: "Then in what state can you show your true ability?" No one in Bohun smiled and said: "It's very simple, we are not here to shoot arrows, let's go Go to the highest mountain peak, walk through the cliffs, and face the abyss, if you can still shoot accurately in that state, that is your real skill!" Lie Yukou agreed.

So, a group of people came to Gaoshan, and some guests on the way went back because they were afraid of being tired.When they walked over the cliffs, some people were afraid of heights and retreated.When walking further, there were not many guests except Bohunren and Lie Yukou.Finally approaching the Bairen Abyss, at this time Lie Yu Kou drew his bow and was about to shoot, but no one said, "Don't worry, we haven't arrived yet." The guests who followed stood far behind and didn't dare to go. In the previous step, although Lie Yukou followed Bohun and no one approached the abyss, he was actually very reluctant.Looking at Bohun and no one there, I saw him calmly walking backward step by step with his back to the Bairen Abyss. Every step he took was so firm and confident, and he never looked back until his heels were almost two When he was already hanging outside the cliff, he waved to Lie Yukou to signal him to go forward, and said that this is the place to shoot arrows.At this time, Lie Yukou didn't have the prestige and composure of the archery practice field at all. He was so frightened that he couldn't stand still. He prostrated himself on the ground, sweat dripped from his head to his heels, and he didn't dare to look at the cliff any more. One glance.

Then, no one in Bohun came back and said: "The most superb person can look up at the blue sky, dive into the underworld, and fly to extremely far places without changing his expression. Now your fear is shown in your eyes, you can see Your heart is really not strong!"

Although Lie Yukou had superb shooting skills, he couldn't perform at a normal level because he lacked enough self-confidence when he was in danger.

Indeed, it seems that the performance of any superb skill does not simply depend on the skill and brilliance of the skill, but also depends on the influence of the external environment at that time.When the external environment changes, in addition to superb skills, excellent psychological quality and sufficient self-confidence in oneself play a very important role.In addition to mastering superb skills, people must also have courage and firm self-confidence in the face of danger. Only in this way can they play their best in any situation.Of course, we can also realize such a truth from it: people should remember at all times that only self-confidence can allow us to save ourselves.

(End of this chapter)