We are all the same in the pursuit of our dreams

Chapter 22 The best time has just begun (4)
Only when we are full of wisdom and make our inner world stronger, can we laugh at the time and say to ourselves at the beginning of each age: the best time has just begun.

Always have a sky of your own
Real happiness should not be given to you by the outside world, but you must love yourself, be independent and strong, and only then will you have happiness from the heart.The fulfillment of life can't be limited to your work, love, family, and most importantly, you can't lose yourself.You are the most important person in your world, only by holding up your own sky can you love the one you love better.

Why do women work so hard?In the words of Xinyiwu's "The Promised Day", the purpose is "When the person I love appears, no matter whether he is rich or has nothing, I can open my arms and embrace him calmly."

Of course, women who work hard can not only have a reliable love, but also allow themselves to live the life they want, have the right to speak in family and life to be respected, and have everything they want with peace of mind.

If you are not born with the life of a princess, you must have the heart of a queen.

Modern women's self-awareness is gradually increasing, and they are also eager to become economically independent individuals and have their own careers.However, society has always given women more missions than men, especially after marriage. Professional women not only have to be busy with work, but also take on the responsibility of caring for their husbands and raising their children.Therefore, after getting married and having children, many women are gradually trapped by their families and lose themselves.

In the movie "Love Before Midnight", the hero Jesse said to the heroine Selina: "I like the way you sing. I abandon everything to follow you because of the way you sing. If you give eighth If you put all your energy into making music, you can become Django Reinhardt."

Selina said: "In the garden of sacrifice, women seek eternal life." She also said that few people can understand the feelings of a woman who is passionate about her career and has a child. She thinks she will leave her behind sooner or later. The child's, and in fact she didn't want to hurt the child at all.But she thought many times, to end this kind of life.She was at a loss for this.

Whether before or after marriage, men prefer women who are talented, have unique ideas, and exude charisma.A woman who pursues her dream and career also longs to continue doing what she likes after marriage, but she is limited by her family and children, so she is helpless.

A reader left a message on my Weibo: "Seeing you all working so hard, I'm so envious! I am a full-time mother, and I have no one to help with the children, so I have to quit my job for six years. I am very confused now. I don't know where to go in the future. How do you balance the relationship between family and career?"

In fact, not only her, but several authors around me have basically come to an end in their writing career after giving birth to their babies.As Bole, who was attracted by their writing talent and discovered them, I watched them have children in their eyes and mouth, and I tried many times to bring them back to the road of writing, but I couldn't do what I wanted.

However, there are also authors who have managed their work, hobbies, and family well after giving birth, such as Ye Xuan and Xin Yiwu.

These two authors are known for their hard work. Coincidentally, both of them continued to write during their pregnancy. Both "Paper Marriage 2: A Story of Begging a Child" and "The Heart Eater" were handed in before giving birth.

Not only is Ye Xuan diligent in writing, but she is also more diligent than ordinary people in childbirth. In less than two years, she gave birth to two babies: her daughter Dongdong in April 2010, and her son Dingding in January 4.

I believe that everyone has a superwoman-like existence around them. I thought I was already a superwoman, but compared with Ye Xuan, she is nothing but a fighter among supergirls.

She has two children and a busy job, but she still hasn't given up her love of writing.She is too busy to have a full time, so she can only use the fragmented time to write when the children go to the playground and after the children fall asleep.

Although the time is limited, she keeps improving the manuscript and writing a book takes longer than others, but she never thinks of giving up, and always finds ways to squeeze the time. Whenever she has an idea, she first uses the mobile phone to record it. Wait until you have a full block of time to form a complete article.

It took her more than two years to complete the parent-child storybook "May You Be Treated Gentlely by This World". She called this book "A Memo of Love" because the prototype of this book was the memo she used on her mobile phone. Record every bit of your child's growth.

There is an article in this book called "Five Hours of Companionship", which contains a passage: "As a professional woman, my mother cannot accompany you at home 24 hours a day. But I will try to find a middle way and try to use 8 hours Work time to improve yourself, win respect, and then spend 5 hours searching for new projects to accompany you crazy, take you to play, and be attached to you. Each of us keeps our own space, and we cherish the time we spend together more and more. Because of life I love myself even more because of my own enrichment and progress.”

This passage is enough to show that Ye Xuan is trying to balance work and family. If you add her obsession with writing, the best state she most desires to achieve is actually working, writing, and raising children.

As my best friend and author, Ye Xuan has been whipped the most by me.Even if she is as busy as a spinning top, she still can't escape being urged by me.She sometimes said: "Which time was I not the fastest and most efficient in delivering manuscripts before? Now my work here is in a special period and I am very busy. My husband is even busier at work and can't help me with my children. I really can't write quickly. "

In fact, Ye Xuan is very good at arranging her own time, so she basically doesn't need to press for drafts.Her dedication to writing made her ponder many times, is there a better way to balance writing and work?She was a civil servant before, so she had to conceal her identity as a writer, and she couldn't participate in video interviews or book signings, and she had no time to write when she was busy.

In the summer of 2014, Ye Xuan made an astonishing decision—she gave up her position as a civil servant in a provincial government agency and chose to work as an ordinary professional teacher in a provincial college.This decision made many people around her feel unbelievable, and even suspected that she had lost her mind and gave up the civil servant status that many people dreamed of. It is simply incomprehensible.

However, I deeply understand her decision and agree with it.She definitely didn't make the decision with a slap on the thigh, but after careful consideration.Writing is the most difficult hobby and complex in her life. When she changed jobs, she just hoped that she would have more free time, read some books she wanted to read, and write some articles she wanted to write.

Now, she has become a college teacher. In order not to deceive her children, she works harder than others.In fact, she just changed to a new job at the beginning, and she needed to adjust and adapt, so she didn't have much time to write.However, I believe that after the running-in period, she will have more time to write when she is comfortable with her work.

Ye Xuan has two children, both of them can find a way to balance family and career, let alone we only have one child?

Everyone's situation is different, and it is necessary to adjust measures according to individual conditions.

Xinyiwu's parents are busy with their own careers and unable to help take care of the children, so she hired a better nanny to take care of the children.In this way, she can have her own space, read, travel, write, and still enjoy other good things in life except children.

Piao Axi and her husband are both busy with work, and the children are left to her parents.At first she missed her children, and went to her parents' house to play with her children after get off work every day, then went back to her own home to sleep, and got up early the next morning to go to work.Since she is far away from her parents' home, she is exhausted from running around every day, let alone writing.She found the crux of the matter. If she bought another house for her parents in the community she lived in, and the parents moved in, she would not have to work hard every day.So in the past two years, she and her husband worked hard to make money, and finally bought a house for their parents recently.And she can finally say to me: "Juanzi, I'm starting to write novels."

My ultimate wish now is that I can become a family, try to balance my life as much as possible, and be able to take on my multiple roles—be able to be a good leader of the company, and be a good mother; be an excellent book planner , and be a good writer; you can stay at home and enjoy the fine details of life, and you can also go out and walk, measuring the world with your feet.

I am working hard for this goal, constantly adjusting the rhythm of life, hoping to find a balance that suits me.

Many women put their careers on hold after giving birth, and some women simply regard their children as their careers.

In fact, you have to know that children are not all of you, but only a part of you.The child will eventually have the life he wants, and sooner or later he will leave you to build his own kingdom.

I always feel that a woman cannot lose her life value because of marriage or children.

In addition to love and children, study, fitness, hobbies, career, and making friends are also an integral part of a woman's life, and such a life is complete.

You can think about it, if you are not the wife of so-and-so, or the mother of so-and-so, who else are you?You have to be yourself and have a sky of your own.

When you are confused, there will always be a light to guide you
We are inevitably lonely and confused on the way to pursue our dreams. If someone is willing to give you encouragement and guidance, it is like walking in the dark night and suddenly encountering a beam of light that illuminates the way forward.This will give you warmth, give you confidence, and give you the motivation to persevere.Perhaps, just a word of affirmation can make your life different from now on.

How lucky, I met my noble person when I was young and when my dream was just budding.

A noble man named Lin Gongxiang, whose pen name was Xiangzi, was the editor-in-chief of the magazine "Youth Tide" at that time, and was also in charge of the poetry column in the magazine.At that time, I was a freshman in Yangzhou, and I liked to write prose and poetry in my spare time.One day, I transcribed my poems on grid paper, put them in an envelope, and wrote "Received by Xiangzi" on the envelope.At that time, my roommate in the same dormitory saw it and said with a smile: "Xiangzi, why does it remind me of Luotuo Xiangzi?"

At first, I didn't have much hope, thinking that it would sink into the sea like other submissions.After all, this is my first time writing poetry!
I can't remember how long it took, but I received a letter, which was actually a reply letter written by Xiangzi himself, and it was a full two pages!In the letter, he affirmed my writing talent, saying that my group of five poems is well written and will be published in the next issue of the magazine.I was flattered that he even compared me with a famous poetess of the time.

I am so persistent in writing, not only because I love words enough, but also thanks to editor-in-chief Lin Gongxiang who encouraged me at the beginning of my writing.

There is also a distinguished person named William Zhu, English name Will, who was the founder and webmaster of Banyan Tree at that time.Under the banyan tree is the first original literature website I came into contact with. Famous writers such as Baby Anne and Ning Caishen were born here. It led me into a whole new world.In the past, it was not easy to submit articles to magazines and newspapers. Even if you knew it was published, you would have to wait a long time to find out.It is easy to publish an article under the banyan tree, without testing my patience or going through a long wait.

I once read an exclusive interview with William Zhu, the founder of Under the Banyan Tree, in a magazine. I still have a deep impression of this sentence.He said: "Life is not a trap designed by God for human beings, so that he can condemn us for failure. Life is not a game of chess. If you make a wrong move, you will make mistakes. I think life is more like a football game. Even the strongest team Lost in a third of the games, even the worst team can have a good day. Our goal is to gain more than we lose."

Baby Annie once said that William Zhu is the best boss in the world, which made me feel more fond of William Zhu. At that time, I thought: If William Zhu can become my boss in the future, I can become an excellent website editor, how wonderful!
So, I silently immerse myself in enriching myself: through reading to enrich my experience, broaden my horizons, delve into network technology, and practice more to improve my writing level.All this is just to hope that William Zhu will become my future boss one day.

Later, I saw that Under the Banyan Tree was recruiting young people with aspirations. I hadn’t graduated from college at the time, but I sincerely sent a long email, hoping to be a part-time editor under the Banyan Tree.Not long after, I actually received a reply letter from William Zhu, the founder of Banyan Tree!

I couldn't believe my eyes at first, and stared at the signature Will at the end for a long time before I was sure that it was really the reply letter sent to me by the famous William Zhu.

He said in the letter that he appreciates my enthusiasm for writing and under the banyan tree, but it is a pity that they do not recruit current students.Because the primary task of school students is to study, the work of being a website editor is relatively trivial and complicated, which takes up a lot of time and will affect study.Finally, he welcomed me to submit my resume to the banyan tree again after graduation.

Although his reply letter was not long, and he rejected my idea of ​​being a part-time editor, it was still enough to inspire me and fill me with expectations, looking forward to finding a job under the banyan tree with solid writing skills and network knowledge in the future jobs.

Unfortunately, when I graduated, William Zhu was no longer working under the banyan tree.

However, my career dream is still to be an editor. After graduation, after various twists and turns and hard work, I finally became an excellent book planning editor in the publishing circle. company.

Perhaps Lin Gongxiang and Zhu Weilian also replied to others, and I was just one of them; perhaps without their reply, I would still be able to achieve what I am now.However, every time I look back at the past years, I always feel that the two names Lin Gongxiang and Zhu William shine brightly.On my way to pursue my dream, they lit a fire for me, making the torch of my dream burn more blazingly.

The road to dreams has never been smooth sailing, and their reply letters are like a bunch of flowers that suddenly appear on the road full of thorns, fragrant and fragrant.

It is precisely because a reply letter can produce such a strong chemical reaction, and it can give me the courage and strength to stick to my dream, so when I saw the long letters written by enthusiastic readers on Weibo and Douban, I couldn't do it. Turn a blind eye.Therefore, I created the column "Yajuan Tells You" in the hope that my words can give you some warmth during your journey of pursuing your dreams, when you are confused and confused, and when you have doubts about life. Make you feel less alone.

I would be very grateful if you would change yourself for the better because of my reply.

Japanese publisher and best-selling author Yataro Matsuura said: "Life is not determined by what you do, what work you do, or what you make. The key lies in how much you give to others." And the giving he said does not mean Rather, it refers to the wisdom of survival, the method of comfort, and the understanding of new things.He said that it is the social responsibility of people of his age to not hide the accumulated experience in his own drawer, but to share it without hesitation.

Seeing his words, I really want to treat him as a confidant, which is exactly the purpose of my writing, and this is also the original intention of my column "Yajuan Tells You". I hope my experience can help others avoid detours, Give others the strength to move forward.

Giving roses to others, leaving a lingering fragrance in my hand, while helping others, I will feel happy myself.

If you are inspired by reading my reply today, maybe you can benefit others tomorrow if you reply to others.Reply letters become the heart lights on the road of dreams, lighting up our way forward; reply letters become the baton on the road of life, conveying the beauty between people, and conveying encouragement and faith.

In this way, we can be less lonely and confused, and more warm and beautiful in the life journey of chasing dreams.

(End of this chapter)