The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 30 The independent child matures early (1)
(Harvard representative: Zhu Cheng) In terms of cultivating the seedbed of self-reliance and independent thinking, there is no other school other than Harvard University.The environment at Harvard not only allows but encourages people to find pleasure in their own uniqueness.On the contrary, if one day Harvard wants to shape her children into a single fixed personality, it will be the end of Harvard.

—William James, Harvard graduate, philosopher, and psychologist
【Wonderful Guide】

Biography of Zhu Cheng
Zhu Cheng (1980- ) originally from Shanghai, was born in Ningbo City, Zhejiang Province. After studying in Ningbo Zhenming Central Primary School for 4 years, he moved to Beijing. In 1997, he was admitted to the English Department of Peking University. In April 2001, he was admitted to the Graduate School of Education of Harvard University with a full scholarship.A year later, with excellent grades of all A's, he became the youngest graduate student among the 4 students who received a master's degree in education from Harvard University. In September [-], Zhu Cheng received a scholarship from the Institute of Education of Harvard University to continue his doctoral studies.

In September [-], Zhu Cheng, who was studying at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, was elected as the president of the Student Union after a fierce competition with three American students, becoming the first Chinese student president in the history of the Harvard Graduate School of Education.

On June 2005, 6, Zhu Cheng won another honor—the "Outstanding Work Award" of Harvard University. The Graduate School of Education of Harvard University has missed this honor for several consecutive years. The only top student award given to PhD students.

At the 354th graduation ceremony of Harvard University, Dean Ellen Condriff Ragman personally presented the "Outstanding Work Award" to Zhu Cheng, and spoke highly of Zhu Cheng: "During Zhu Cheng's tenure as the chairman of the college's student union , has demonstrated an outstanding ability to lead the student body with wisdom and vigor. This honor is therefore awarded."

In April 2006, Zhu Cheng was elected as the President of the Student Union of the Graduate School of Harvard University.With her unique personality and capable style, she was elected as the president of the Student Union of Harvard University Graduate School in 4-2006, and stepped onto the highest stage of Harvard students.

Zhu Cheng's excellence is not only reflected in her impressive academic performance, but also in her strong sense of social participation and activity ability. On December [-], [-], Premier Wen Jiabao gave a speech at Harvard University during his visit to the United States. Zhu Cheng was the only Chinese student who had the opportunity to ask questions.

【Character Story】

Independence makes the "Harvard president"

Although the president of Harvard's student union is not too high, this title is known as "President of Harvard". The "head" of more than 7 postgraduates.

The election for the chairman of the Harvard Student Union is like a grand American presidential election.Zhu Cheng drew up the public announcement program, delivered speeches, made posters, distributed leaflets, organized a campaign team, and accepted questions from classmates... Zhu Cheng devoted himself to every job.In the end, she defeated more than 40 strong opponents.

So, how did she develop her independence and versatility?

Zhu Cheng's parents said: "A happy child is our greatest happiness."

The attitude of his parents allowed Zhu Cheng to "do whatever he wanted" when he was a child.As long as Zhu Cheng likes to study, her parents will satisfy her to learn, and never force her to concentrate on something: "Let her go around first, so she will know what she likes most and what she is most suitable for; Forcing her to concentrate on one thing, preventing her from doing what she likes to do, will make the child very unhappy."

After going through various choices and giving up, Xiao Zhucheng finally settled on two hobbies of playing the piano and dancing.However, at this time she had already learned painting, composing music, singing, film and television performances, ice skating, swimming and many ball games, and also learned to sing Peking Opera, Yue Opera and Henan Opera, and in art performances, she developed self-confidence and optimism upward character.

Letting a child "do whatever she wants" is not letting her go. Zhu Cheng's parents have taught her by precept and example since she was a child, and cultivated her good behavior habits.From the rules when eating, to the politeness when dealing with people, Zhu Cheng's parents will set an example for their children with their own actions.

1. Cultivate children's self-care ability

At 5 o'clock in the morning, before dawn, 11-year-old Zhu Cheng got up, went to the kitchen to make breakfast, prepared the lunch box to be steamed at school at noon, and left the house with a heavy schoolbag on his back, and rushed to school at 7:20 early self-study.

It's not that the parents don't want to pick up their daughters, but they understand that it is very important to cultivate children's self-care ability and hard-working spirit from an early age. This has not only strengthened Zhu Cheng's physique but also tempered her will.What's interesting is that Zhu Cheng has never been ill during the ten years from junior high school to university, and he always ranks among the top three in track and field competitions in the school sports meeting.

2. Cultivate children's awareness of saving

In order to let the children know how to be diligent and thrifty, Zhu Cheng's parents once deducted the family's monthly fixed deposit and handed over the rest of the money to Zhu Cheng for management and control.

At the beginning, little Zhu Cheng was very excited, and used money to buy this and that, but before the end of the month, he had no money to pay his mother for grocery shopping.Parents wait and see her countermeasures: After filling the vacancy of the month with lucky money, she uses the addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division methods she just learned to budget all the expenses needed for daily life at home, and spends the money she has in a targeted manner according to the plan. She often goes to the store to see Look at the things you like, touch your favorite toys to relieve your "craving", and no longer consume as you like and without restraint.The democratization of the family economy enabled Zhu Cheng to understand the principle of living within her means and cultivated her concept of rational consumption.

3. Let children think independently

The parents were never impatient with little Zhu Cheng's "why" and would not tell her the answer easily. Instead, they squatted down, looked at the child with a smile, and tried to persuade her.For the questions they can't answer, they don't take it for granted or simply say "I don't know", but work with their children as a primary school student to look up books, ask teachers or experts, help children accumulate knowledge, broaden their horizons, and train them to be diligent. Good habit of thinking.

Zhu Cheng's mother knows how to encourage her daughter to think independently, let her solve problems by herself, and discover truth, goodness and beauty from them, so as to exercise her child's ability to distinguish.When things happen, she can always find the reason from herself first, so that Zhu Cheng developed a proactive behavior habit, which not only improved her ability to adapt to the environment, but also taught her to be considerate and tolerant of others.

In 1997, Zhu Cheng was admitted to Peking University with honors.Gradually, the mother realized that her daughter had independent thinking and ability, so she decided to upgrade the previous guiding education to caring listening.Therefore, in addition to listening to her daughter telling interesting things in school every time, the mother at most reminds her daughter to pay attention to her body and do things according to her ability.

【Harvard view】

Only by giving the child the opportunity to be independent can he have a bright life
Parents should not regard themselves as a strong protective umbrella for their children. They should have the courage to "survive after death, and live after death", so that children can learn to face various difficulties and challenges independently.In order for children to have a healthy and happy life in the future, give them the opportunity to be independent and let them handle their own affairs.

In the 20s, an American anthropologist did a study on the raising and education of children by Aboriginal people.He observed the situation of local families and tribal education, and found a very strange phenomenon: the mother took care of the child in every possible way before the child was 30 years old, but when the child turned 4 years old, the mother suddenly ignored the child. Just like passers-by.When the child is hungry and wants to eat, the mother ignores it; when he is sleepy, he wants to sleep, but the mother ignores it; when he is cold, he wants clothes, but the mother still ignores it.Even if the child cries, the mother turns a deaf ear to it.So the child had to find food, a place to sleep, and clothes to wear by himself.At this time, children realize that this society is cruel, and they can only rely on themselves to live independently. Anthropologists call this phenomenon "cultural interruption of education".

The aborigines living in the primitive hunting and gathering society are poor in materials. Only those children with strong willpower and able to live independently can survive in this difficult environment. Those children with weak willpower, strong dependence and lack of independent life Children with the ability will be eliminated by the environment, which is a unique education method formed by the interaction between the local indigenous people and the ecological environment.

In western developed countries, this kind of education method that promotes children to live independently is also very popular.American parents instill an independent mind in their children when they are very young.One thing they often say to their children is: "Don't cause trouble to others." Whenever the whole family travels, no matter how young the child is, he must carry a small backpack.Some people ask why, and American parents always answer like this: "This is their own thing, and they should recite it by themselves."

When the child is very young, parents should give the child the opportunity to be independent, let the child take care of himself, and let the child understand the truth of doing things by himself.For example, let the child learn to eat and dress by himself. Although the child will eat all over the table at the beginning, and the clothes are either worn upside down or the buttons are not buttoned properly, but the child can also take care of himself. Experience the joy of success.Parents should not pity their young children, nor should they blame their children for being too perfect.Parents should let their children do what they can alone.Whatever the child can do by himself, let him do it himself, don't replace him.As long as the child is willing to do it, parents should encourage him and give the child the opportunity to be independent.

Doing what children can do can indeed cultivate their independent ability, but sometimes, children will do bad things with good intentions. At this time, parents must not use adult standards to demand children, saying: "I said you can't do it, next time Ask mom to do it!" This will not only make the child feel dependent, but also discourage the child from trying to be independent.Wise parents should understand their children's limitations and encourage them to keep trying.

In daily life, we must respect the various needs of children, encourage them to express their thoughts and opinions freely, and allow them to make their own choices and decisions.For the difficulties encountered by children, parents should not help them immediately, but let the children learn to solve them independently.For example, when a child encounters a problem that he does not understand, it is best for parents not to tell the child directly. They can look up information together with the child and let the child find the answer from the book. Over time, the child learns to solve the problem independently.

Children will experience failures in the process of growing up, and they need parents to give him opportunities to keep trying.Parents should allow children to act independently, keep trying new things, have opportunities for self-expression, face difficulties and solve problems independently.When the child finally reaches the goal, he will feel that it is hard-won, and thus obtain a unique sense of satisfaction.He will be proud of this, and strengthen his courage to overcome difficulties and his determination not to give up until he reaches his goal.

[Easy interaction]

1. What inspiration do you have for educating your children by reading stories about Western parents teaching their children?
2. Do you think your child is very independent?In daily life, do you give your children opportunities to do things independently?
【Parent-child total product】

In Switzerland, in order to prevent their children from becoming incompetent, parents cultivate the spirit of self-reliance in their children from an early age.For example, a girl of sixteen or seventeen is sent to a well-educated family to work as a maid for a year as soon as she graduates from middle school. She works in the morning and goes to school in the afternoon.In doing so, on the one hand, the child's working ability is exercised, and on the other hand, it is also conducive to the child's language learning, because Switzerland has German-speaking areas and French-speaking areas, so girls from this language area usually work as servants in another language area. people.

In the United States, family education is based on cultivating children who are full of pioneering spirit and can become a self-reliant person.Parents let their children know the value of labor since they were young, let them repair and assemble motorcycles by themselves, and go outside to participate in labor. Even rich children have to make a living by themselves.Middle school students in the United States have a slogan: "You have to earn your own money!" Peasant families ask their children to share in the work of mowing the lawn, painting houses, and simple carpentry repairs.In addition, they have to go out to do odd jobs and sell their physical strength, such as pushing lawn mowers for others in summer, shoveling snow for others in winter, and sweeping fallen leaves in autumn.

In Japan, when children are very young, they are instilled with a thought: "Don't cause trouble for others." And pay attention to cultivating children's self-care ability and self-improvement spirit in daily life.The whole family goes out on a trip, no matter how small the child is, all will carry a small knapsack on the back without exception.Parents said: "This is their own thing, and they should carry it by themselves." After school, many students have to participate in labor outside to earn money after school.Work-study programs are very common among college students, even the children of rich families are no exception.They earn their own tuition fees by serving dishes and washing dishes in restaurants, selling goods in shops, taking care of the elderly, and working as tutors.

【Harvard view】

(End of this chapter)