The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 32 Make good use of education and guidance, every child's genius seed will germinate

(Harvard representative: He Yinliang) No student may buy, sell or exchange items exceeding 6 cents without the consent of parents, guardians and personal tutors.

— Eaton, first president of Harvard University

【Wonderful Guide】

Biography of He Yinliang

He Yinliang was born in Xiangtan, Hunan in 1985. His father, He Xuhui, taught at Hunan University with a master's degree in civil engineering. His mother, Chen Yaoxing, holds a master's degree in laser from Huazhong University of Science and Technology, and taught at the National University of Defense Technology. The husband and wife finished their doctorates in Germany and worked in Germany. He came to Germany at the age of 4 and grew up there. He won the national No.1 in the German multilingual competition, and the first prize in the German Mathematical Olympiad. In 2004, he was admitted to ten top universities in the world, including Harvard, Princeton, and Cambridge. He is proficient in Chinese. He finally chose Harvard, who speaks five languages, English, German, French and Latin.He has won the National German Language Contest for two consecutive years, and has scored perfect scores in mathematics in the SAT, the National College Entrance Examination. He has repeatedly won first prizes in violin and swimming competitions.

【Character Story】

channel out genius

In the eyes of many people, He Yinliang's excellence is born, but his parents said: "Struggle is inevitable, and there will be no pie in the sky. As long as there is correct education and guidance, every child can become a genius. "

When He Yinliang arrived in Germany, his parents were studying for a Ph. D., and the learning tasks were very heavy, so it was impossible to give their children too much.All they can do is to encourage him and praise him from the child's storytelling.First tell the story to the child, and then encourage the child to tell the story himself.This effectively exercised Yin Liang's expressive ability and speech ability.

Before Yin Liang went to middle school, his German level was not as good as his Chinese. It was also because he basically didn’t read German outside of class, so his parents encouraged him to read German novels.Of course, since the child was interested, Yin Liang read one after another, and his German writing level improved by leaps and bounds.In 2002 and 2003, He Yinliang won the championship for two consecutive times in the National Foreign Language Competition for Middle School Students in Germany.

Starting from the 5th grade of primary school, Yin Liang studied step by step at school, and went to the library with his parents to borrow tapes to listen to. At the same time, he also insisted on watching and listening to English programs with his parents, which made his English progress rapidly.Later, Yin Liang took two foreign languages, French and Latin, and both reached the level of listening, speaking, reading and writing.

Many Chinese children go abroad at a very young age, and they cannot speak Chinese when they grow up.In order to avoid this situation, my parents and a group of parents spontaneously held a Chinese class, with one class a week, starting with talking about my hometown in Chinese.With the encouragement of his parents, Yin Liang has always maintained the habit of reading and writing in Chinese, and has published more than 20 works in "People's Daily" (Overseas Edition) and "Chinese and Foreign Youth".

He Yinliang loved music since he was a child. When he was in elementary school, his parents asked him for advice on learning a musical instrument, and he chose the violin.Under the supervision of his parents, Yin Liang practiced hard and made rapid progress. He won the first prize of the Clausthal Youth Music Awards.Later, his parents discovered that Yin Liang was competitive and that honor had become a psychological burden, so they suggested that Yin Liang take the violin as a hobby and arrange practice time freely.When practicing the piano and winning prizes were no longer a burden, Yin Liang's interest in the violin continued unabated. He took the violin with him to perform in nursing homes, took to the streets to raise funds for disaster victims, and held concerts for retired teachers...

When he was a child, He Yinliang had a poor physique, so his parents decided to take him to learn swimming.In the process of insisting on swimming.He Yinliang has gained a lot. He has developed a strong physique like an athlete. He has the joy of being selected for the Clausthal City Team and winning the first place in the city, and he has the maturity to learn to look down on honor after being surpassed.

【Harvard view】

Imitation is a child's nature, correct guidance is the most important
In life, after watching certain movies and books, some children like to imitate the words and deeds of the villains in them. Parents criticize him for not "imitating bad people", but he said confidently: "I learned from books and TV! "

One of the characteristics of children is strong imitation. Children's like to imitate bad people is inseparable from their psychological characteristics and characteristics of cognitive activities.First of all, because the language, actions, gestures, and costumes of the villain on the screen, screen, and book are typical, they are novel to children, and it is easy to arouse children's intention to imitate.Secondly, children are playful, active, and good at games. They often achieve the purpose of amusing by imitating every move of the villain.The third is that children lack social experience, have a low level of understanding, and have poor ability to distinguish right from wrong. What they imitate is only the appearance rather than the essence.Therefore, don't label your child a "bad study".

Children's ability to judge right from wrong, likes and dislikes, and beauty and ugliness is low, so parents should guide them according to their characteristics of imitation, subtly influence children, correctly introduce the image of positive characters to children, help children understand good thoughts and good qualities, and make them From imitating the superficial behavior of positive people, improve to learn the ideological quality of positive people.If children are found to imitate bad people and deeds, they must be patiently educated so that children can recognize the nature of bad people and arouse hatred for them. This is an effective way to stop children from imitating bad people and deeds.

Pan Shu, a famous psychologist in my country, pointed out: "Guide children to learn from advanced role models instead of imitating negative things."

In order to correctly guide children's imitation, parents need to pay attention to the following points:

1. You should use your words and deeds to set a correct example for your children to imitate.

2. Guide children to learn the right things through imitation and discard the wrong things.Children's ability to distinguish is poor, and adults must let children selectively imitate.

3. Frequently discuss and study the characters in movies, TV, and stories with the children, and guide the children to analyze the characters correctly.When analyzing, do not stop at the superficial plot and the intuitive image of the characters, but educate the children to learn the bravery and tenacity of the heroes, and hate the despicable and cruelty of the enemy. Over time, the children will actively imitate the images of some heroes, and learn their good morals and lofty spirits , to promote the gradual formation of correct moral values.

4. Parents should actively correct their children's existing bad imitation behaviors.If some children like to imitate the bad guys in the movies, parents should tell the children that the bad guys do bad things, if we find out, we should catch him and hand him over to the police.In this way, the child will hate the villain and imitate the positive image-the policeman.

However, it is not advisable to allow children to imitate adults frequently. Instead, children should be encouraged to express opinions different from others and carry out independent activities, which will help the cultivation of creative thinking.

[Easy interaction]

1. Does your child love to imitate?What types of people and behaviors does he often imitate?
2. Have you ever been troubled by this?How do you educate and guide your children?
【Parent-child total product】

The Harvard professor suggested that parents can guide their children to form a good personality in this way:
1. Set an example
Parents are children's first teachers. Every action, every word and deed of parents is the object of imitation by children, which will directly affect the formation of children's personality.Therefore, parents should be reasonable, match their words with deeds, and strictly demand their children, and the children will act seriously, keep their word and treat others with sincerity.

2. Don’t treat your child as the apple of your eye
Children are active by nature, parents should give them more opportunities for free activities and accumulate experience from them.Don't do everything instead. If it's for safety, parents should take care of it.Not allowed to move, not allowed to play, too many restrictions and too rigid, will not only affect the development of children's intelligence, but also make children spoiled, and gradually form a bad character of self-righteousness, self-righteousness, and narrow-mindedness.

3. Cultivate the good habit of being meticulous and focused on learning

Parents must be strict and not authoritarian when treating their children. When criticizing or prohibiting a certain thing, they must first clarify the facts and explain the reasons so that the children can understand. .What should not be done must be dealt with decisively, not allowed at the beginning, and cannot be accommodated or procrastinated.If children are trained to be serious about all activities and games from an early age, they will naturally develop a good habit of learning to focus and be meticulous.This is of great benefit to the development of children's language, learning ability, thinking and intelligence in the future.

4. Pay attention to the influence of the environment

The environment in which a child lives, the people and things he comes into contact with, are all subtly affecting the formation of his personality.Therefore, we should pay attention to the beauty of children's living environment, and choose TV, movies, and picture albums based on the principles that are conducive to children's physical and mental health, so that children can accept and imitate the image of positive characters from an early age.

5. Let the children often play with their friends
Let them know how to unite and love each other, respect each other, and develop a gregarious character so that they can better adapt to the interpersonal environment when they grow up.

6. Education should pay attention to the method

Parents should not "excessively compliment" their children.Praise is of course an educational method to encourage children. Using praise to affirm children’s strengths and affirm their progress, children are willing to accept it, and the effect is better, but blindly “complimenting” children will make them only willing to listen to good things Can't bear the slightest criticism, can't stand a little setback, this will hinder the adaptation to society in the future.On the contrary, some parents use the method of "children are not successful if they are not beaten" to educate their children. If the child makes a small mistake, he will be beaten. This will make the child behave submissively, lack self-confidence, and become cowardly. And dishonest.When children do something wrong, positive heuristic education should be adopted.

7. Cultivate children's ability to love labor and live independently

Children's ability to love labor and live independently starts with little things, such as letting them do the simplest housework, sweeping the floor, taking out the garbage, tidying up the toys they have played with, learning to eat by themselves, and sleeping in a small bed by themselves , wear their own clothes, etc., let them do everything they can do by themselves, and don't rely on others.

【Harvard view】

Only by guiding children in the direction of "fascination" can they avoid going astray in time

In life, many children hate going to school and do not like to do homework, but are fascinated by cartoons, online chats, listening to music and chasing stars, fascinated by advertising fashion... Parents criticize, scold and even fight, but children always I do my own way.

In fact, this kind of "obsession" of "not doing business properly" is a common law in childhood. Many children find themselves and affirm themselves through "obsession".Of course, various obsessive behaviors also have many adverse effects on children's growth, which not only consume a lot of time and energy for children, but also affect normal study and life.

For children's many "obsessions", parents can take four steps:

1. Give understanding and tolerance

Understand that this is a stage in a child's growth, and it must be stopped without asking indiscriminately.Parents should correctly analyze whether their children like animation and listening to songs because of the need to communicate with classmates or to reduce the pressure of learning.

2. Know yourself and the enemy
Only by understanding children can we understand and help children.If the parents don't understand or know what the child does, or don't explore why the child does it at all, but just condemn blindly instead of evaluating from the child's point of view, this kind of education can only get the child's disgust, not It will impress the child, let alone change the child's attitude, persuade the child, and make the child sincerely convinced.

Therefore, it is best for parents and children to be "obsessed" together, and then remind the children to put in the energy properly, which may achieve better results.

3. Guide children to expand their interests
When a child has only one hobby, he may invest a lot, so if the child has multiple hobbies, will he spend more energy?
This is not necessarily the case. Letting children walk out of the study room, broaden their horizons, and understand the vast world outside can, on the contrary, free them from their narrow world, and even free them from a kind of "fascination".

4. Timely extension and sublimation

Help children understand the objects of "fascination" more comprehensively, and delve into the obsessed things instead of just staying on the surface. This method of encouraging and guiding children's obsessive behavior may make fascination "change from bad things to good things" and make children Get more out of it.

For example, if your child likes to chase stars, buy him some biographies of famous people, so that he can understand that behind the glory is hardship, and achievement depends on hard work.

[Easy interaction]

1. Which things are your children fascinated by?Please make a table with pros and cons.

2. How do you treat and guide children's various "doing nothing"?

【Parent-child total product】

Guiding children to love learning and learn to learn is an important responsibility of parents, and it is also the real charm of parents.

1. There are reasons why children are tired of studying

Let it go, let it be unrestrained; manage indiscriminately, sow melons and reap beans; nag and scold, beat and scold wantonly; instead of arranging, make "machines"... All kinds of unwise practices of parents will only make children less and less loving. study.

It is only a superficial phenomenon that children do not like to study, and there must be a reason behind it: Is it because they have not developed good study habits?Did you not find what your child is best at?Is there no science to use the brain?Are parents hindering children's "playing and learning" nature?It is the child who does not realize that learning is his own business... Only by finding the reason behind it can he help the child get out of the shadow of being tired of learning.

2. Children's thirst for knowledge and learning potential can be stimulated
Children's lack of curiosity is usually not the influence of parents or strict requirements, but blocking children's interest.

Interests (curiosity), dreams, sense of accomplishment, doubts, gratitude, hard work, and anger are all channels to unblock and inspire children's thirst for knowledge.For children, the so-called competitive advantage is the effective development of potential.Mood, enlightenment, suggestion, daydream, encouragement, and planning are the six principles to stimulate children's learning potential.

Although there is no absolute "timetable" for potential development, there are steps, such as establishing goals, controlling emotions, sharpening will, focusing on one point, etc. are very important.

3. There is a way for children to take the first place in the exam

"Love of learning" is the premise of "knowledge of learning", and "knowledge of learning" is the guarantee of "love of learning", only "knowledge of learning" can "study well".

If children want to take the first place in the exam, they must master some good methods that are decisive, such as: completing according to the plan, writing carefully, reading textbooks slowly, sorting out wrong questions, taking notes, selflessly helping classmates, efficient exams, free and unrestrained Composition, etc.

Now many parents blindly follow and even obsessed with the so-called successful parenting experience, but these experiences sound easy, but it is difficult to do.Because they do not have "portability", if you just blindly clone and imitate, not only will you not be able to implement it on your own children, but it will easily backfire.

(End of this chapter)