Your warmth, my love

Chapter 192 Let's have a baby

I became listless. I dreamed again and again that Lu Chengying died by my side. He was relieved with a smile, but I, with the shackles, couldn't forgive in my heart.

Many times I think about what Lu Chengying said. He said that he prepared this injection a long time ago, and he put this forgiveness to himself now. He wants us to remember him, especially me.

Lu Chengying, this time I really remember you, I remember everything about your last moment, everything that happened is deeply imprinted in my heart, it is unforgettable.

I am always awakened at night, sometimes I have dreams about Lu Chengying, and sometimes I can even hear him talking to me at night, I am in a state of nervousness, I can’t eat well, I can’t sleep, the sleeping pill dose given by Zou Moyan It has reached the maximum amount of normal people, but I still can't sleep.

Is this retribution?
I do not know.

Zou Moyan will also carefully ask me what's wrong, he tries to give me a romantic date, or take a walk with me, more often he will accompany me quietly, he doesn't do anything, just look at me I.
Zou Moyan took care of all my movements carefully. Every time I woke up in the middle of the night, he would hug me and gently pat me to sleep. Every time I didn't want to eat or vomited something, he would change. Cooking food for me in a variety of ways, he never leaves me, but I feel inexplicable pressure.

He treats me well, I feel guilty, I blame myself, I don't think I deserve such gentle treatment from Zou Moyan.

Gradually, I looked at myself in the mirror who was getting thinner and thinner, and I felt more and more that I have the charm to be worthy of Zou Moyan's appearance. I am self-willed, hypocritical, and often hesitate. I wasn't that kind back then, why should I enjoy Zou Moyan's feelings, why should I be meddling in his life?
Sometimes I don't talk to Zou Moyan for a whole day, and sometimes I cry and make a lot of noise, but he is not angry at all, he won't quarrel with me at all, he just looks at me silently, how much I want to quarrel with him Fight and go out by yourself, so that it will never affect his emotions again.

I lost weight, and Zou Moyan became thinner and thinner. Several times I saw him taking medicine behind my back. I asked a few times, and he said it was just a general vitamin. Bring Gao Ziqian to the house, Gao Ziqian will give me a brief hypnosis, I don't know what I said after the hypnosis, but I know that Zou Moyan's face is ugly every time after the hypnosis.

And Gao Ziqian kept urging Zou Moyan to go to England. Once because of this matter, Zou Moyan was anxious, saying that it was his own business, and he had a good idea.

Gao Ziqian scolded him very harshly, especially because of He Jiaran, you deserve your fucking death.

I laughed, but it was me who deserved it.

&
I heard Zou Moyan say something about Lu Chengying's death once, saying that he had been cremated and buried at sea. When he said this, he was just understating it, but I remembered it very deeply.

Lu Chengying has such a good face, and likes to show off so much, the ending is so embarrassing. Knowing that the day he was buried in the sea was a rainy day, and it was already early summer outside the window, I stared at the splintering raindrops, feeling inexplicably melancholy and lonely.

This may be because I have been alone for a long time, and I gradually become sentimental. I have lost weight from one hundred and two catties to ninety catties now, and my eyes have changed from double eyelids to triple eyelids. Even Sun Yao When she saw me, she thought I went to Korea to get face-lifting injections to make European-style double eyelids, but what she didn't know was that I was swayed by my emotions.

Sun Yao knew about those things, and also knew that if she asked, she would touch my sad place, so she didn't say anything, but I could see that she was very careful talking to me, for fear that my emotions would fluctuate.

In fact, I have nothing to fluctuate, as if I have lost all consciousness in my heart.

Zhou Ling gave birth to a lovely daughter. I went to see her once. The girl had big eyes, fair skin, and eyebrows that looked exactly like Zhou Ling. I also went there when the full moon was full. That day, I saw Pan Yiming.

Pan Yiming's skin is much darker, but he is still talkative, with a hot young model in his arms, he often makes everyone laugh with his cheap mouth, but I hear his long sighs behind him, sometimes drinking with himself Drinking wine, seeing us sitting together in pairs, he smiled wryly to himself.

He is unhappy, I can feel it.

Although the preparation of the full moon wine is simple, according to Zhou Luo's flamboyant style, he created a high-end private party. Our friends gathered together, Xu Moxuan, Mo Chengze, Fu Xuan and the others The children also came, all with their wives and children, which was very lively.

Zhou Luo and the United States have already fallen out, and naturally no one will come to congratulate him. During the dinner, he had a few drinks and was very happy. I saw that he looked like a woman who was full of everything, and I couldn't help being happy for them.

After the meal, their men went into the room to chat, and we went to accompany Zhou Ling. They all knew what happened to me. No one asked me, and they didn't talk about the things between husband and wife. Everyone avoided these topics on purpose.

Everyone was discussing things and things, and when they were talking about something, they would ask me for my opinions and ideas. I just pandered to it. It's not that I didn't want to talk, but I didn't know what to say.

Xu Moxuan's wife, Han Ying, we have met several times before. She has experienced emotional hardships, and it was only after many twists and turns that she and Xu Moxuan finally achieved a positive result. She is very gentle, and people can't help but feel good about her. I went to play with the little fox, and let my son go to see the little princess of the Zhou family, but I pulled me aside and said with a smile, "Would you like a cup of coffee? The terrace outside has a nice view."

I guessed that she had something to say to me, I nodded, "Yeah."

We each took coffee to the terrace outside. The evening sky was full of red clouds. She looked at me and smiled softly, "My brother once died in front of me."

My body froze, and looking at Han Ying, she said calmly, "A car accident caused me to fall off a cliff, and he held me in his arms. I only injured my neck and spine, but he died. Before he died Called my name countless times, at that time my eyes were full of red blood, I will never forget that scene for the rest of my life."

I was trembling in my heart, why did I imagine Lu Chengying's death so much, I also said, "I have a friend who also died beside me, he died after holding my hand and injecting himself with medicine , I can’t forget that scene, I often see him in front of me with my eyes closed.”

"He Jiaran, we have all been deeply loved by others, no matter whether the relationship started or ended, the person who truly loves you will never bully you, he will respect you and protect you, you have to know, They went to another world, not to suffer, but to live another life, instead of living in the memories they gave us, we should cherish the people in front of us and live well."

I understand what Han Ying said, but it doesn’t apply to me at all. I tried my best to open up my heart, and I also tried my best to let myself see all this lightly, but these words are just words after all. , I tried hard, but I couldn't do it.

I sighed into the distance, "I understand what you said, but I need time."

"You need time, so what about the people around you?" Han Ying looked at me, "No one will give for another person unconditionally. The so-called deep love has a limit."

Han Ying's words hit my heart hard, and I nodded, knowing her intentions.

It was really well-intentioned for Zou Moyan to let Han Ying tell me these things.

It was getting dark gradually, Sun Yao called us to go in and eat some fruit, Han Ying took my arm and said softly, "Actually, Mr. Zou is very worried about you, but he doesn't know how to express it, you can't escape from these things, You can’t hide it, he is also in pain, he loves you, we can all see it, why bother to grieve for a friend who has left and ignore the lover around him?”

I nodded and responded to her, "I understand."

Back in the room to eat fruit, everyone clamored to leave, Xu Moxuan came over and hugged the child and led his wife, envious of others with happiness, Zou Moyan looked at me, although his face was stern, but I read a kind of expectation in that gaze Hope, I took the initiative to walk to his side and took his hand.

His palm was still as gentle and dry as ever, just like the first time I held it up.

What Han Ying said is right, I shouldn't live in those past events selfishly, and let a person who loves me around me suffer all kinds of grievances.

These days, I've become so hypocritical that I really forgot Zou Moyan's feelings.

After we got home, we were busy with our own business. Zou Moyan was reading in the bedroom after washing up. After I washed up, I took a picture album and looked left and right. Zou Moyan saw that I was very interested and asked, "Interested?"

I shook my head, "Just take a look."

"But you've been staring at that page for over a minute."

"Really?" I hurriedly turned a page, and looked at Zou Moyan with some embarrassment, "Aren't you reading a book, why did you notice me?"

"Yeah, Yu Guang."

After Zou Moyan finished speaking, he began to look down at the book again. Looking at this awkward man, I suddenly had the urge to laugh from the bottom of my heart.

I haven't felt this way for a long time. Before, all my nerves seemed to be paralyzed. I don't know what emotions are, and I don't know how to face Zou Moyan. I don't even know how to face him many times. Own.

I put down the picture album in my hand and sat beside Zou Moyan, looking at his delicate facial features and handsome facial features, the appearance of the little princess of Zhou Luo's family flashed in my mind, and I thought in my heart that my child must look like Zou Moyan in appearance, personality, Also be like him, of course, IQ must follow him!

My hand gently touched Zou Moyan's face, he was obviously taken aback, grabbed my hand, I looked at him, and said slowly: "Mo Yan, let's have a baby."

(End of this chapter)