The psychology of the aura that makes your heart strong
Chapter 4 Cultivate the personality aura, the inner spirit determines the height of the aura
Chapter 4 Cultivate the personality aura, the inner spirit determines the height of the aura
A successful personality shapes a successful aura
We say that failure comes from a failed personality, so success is naturally inseparable from a successful personality.A successful personality has incredible power, and this power is the aura of a successful person.
There are some people who can always deeply move others with their enthusiasm.Many people are attracted to them, both intellectually and emotionally, and this attraction is so willing that they unconsciously work toward their goals.
So where did their prestige come from?What factors constitute these prestige?Why are these people so attractive?
Is it just because of hype?Or are they naturally tactful in their dealings with people?Or do they have secrets about trying to stand out that make us hang around them?
Indeed, the above are all reasons, but only part of the reasons. More scientifically speaking, they have unique personality charm.Charisma is the ability, determined by your personality, to positively influence others through physical, emotional, and intellectual interaction with them.
Personality charm includes the following elements:
(1) Silent language.Silent language is a signal, a look, an action, or a smile that you unconsciously send to the people around you, all of which will form your "silent language", that is, your "image".
(2) Expressive ability.Maybe you have a great idea, but if you don't talk about it, who will know?Who else would agree?
(3) Listening skills.For those who have not received much education or training, listening more is also a key to communication, and it can also be refreshing.
(4) Persuasion skills.This is a technique for encouraging people to accept your leadership or to adopt your ideas.A point of view, no matter how correct, is useless if it is not recognized and adopted.
(5) The ability to use time and space.Again, this is often overlooked.In fact, the use of time and space can both enhance and destroy relationships.
(6) The ability to adapt to others.It's impossible to want to relate to another person without knowing their style.So, in order to build good relationships, work on improving the adaptability of your behavior.
(7) IMPORTANT INSIGHTS.Maybe you're a powerful orator, maybe you're great at building relationships, maybe you're great at listening and taking advantage of the situation, but if you don't have anything good to say, it's always An empty shelf.
It can be seen that the personality charm of an individual is not composed of a single factor.In fact, what makes a person attractive is precisely because he has such a series of skills and methods linked together.
Cultivate an aura and highlight your identity with your personality
Compared with Westerners who have a flamboyant personality, Chinese people are introverted.For a long time, humility, prudence, patience, and concession have been our highest principles of life.This kind of mediocre gray personality comes from tradition and education, and it does not match people's natural nature.In other words, our character is suppressed.
A person without his own characteristics is easily buried.In modern society, people's flamboyant, aggressive and confident side is more and more sought after by the public.A person's knowledge comes from long-term accumulation; a person's appearance mainly depends on innate factors.However, the charm of personality can be conveyed through your speech and manners, and it will leave a deep impression on people in a very short period of time.
The first turning point in Yang Lan's life came when she applied for the host of "Zhengda Variety Show" on CCTV.Before that, she was just an ordinary college student at Beijing Foreign Studies University, and she had nothing outstanding.Without this opportunity, Yang Lan may have performed very well in life, but it is impossible for her to become famous so early, so fast, and so vigorously.
As Yang Lan said in his autobiography: "If there was no unexpected opportunity, I would have been a manager of some big hotel today, sitting behind a desk with a professional smile." The grasp of this unexpected opportunity depends on the performance of her personality.
The opportunity was that Thailand's Chia Tai Group and China Central Television jointly produced "Chia Tai Variety Show". The two parties decided to choose a female college student as the host, and Yang Lan was recommended to participate in the audition.
To be honest, Yang Lan was not favored at the beginning, and it was only because of her good temperament that she was able to make it all the way to the finals.According to a director, although Yang Lan is also regarded as one of the best candidates, some people think she is not beautiful enough, so it is not sure whether to use her.
When the final selection was made, the director of the TV station's program was also present. They wanted to choose one between Yang Lan and another girl who even Yang Lan had to admit was "very pretty".This will be the last option.Yang Lan's competitive spirit was suddenly aroused, she thought: "Even if you don't choose me today, I have to prove my quality."
The topic of this examination is: [-]. How will you be the host of this program; [-]. Introduce yourself.
Yang Lan started it like this: "I think the primary criterion for a host is not her appearance, but whether she has a strong desire to communicate with the audience. I hope to be the host of this show, because I like traveling, people and nature The pleasure of getting close to each other is unparalleled, and I want to tell the audience about my feelings."
When introducing herself, Yang Lan said this: "My parents named me 'Lan' because they hoped that I would have a mind like the sea, be self-improving and self-reliant, and I believe I can do this..."
Yang Lan spoke for half an hour without any written reference. Her fluent language, rigorous thinking, and full of thoughtfulness quickly won the appreciation of the leaders.People no longer pay attention to whether she is beautiful enough, but are deeply attracted by her performance.According to Yang Lan's later recollection: "After I finished speaking, I felt very quiet in the room. It seems that, in terms of qigong, it was my aura that enveloped them."
When Yang Lan returned to that room again, CCTV had decided to officially hire her, and this interview changed her life.
If judged by the public's standards, Yang Lan is definitely not the kind of big beauty who is born beautiful. Today we think Yang Lan is beautiful, but in fact, it is the comprehensive feeling of her demeanor, temperament, talent and personality.If you have strength and content, plus a little bit of brilliant personality, the probability of standing out from the crowd will undoubtedly increase a lot.In this sense, individuality is an important plus factor for increasing social status.But it is worth noting that that kind of speech and behavior with a strong personal touch can only be an embellishment of personal strength.To gain a foothold in society, people cannot rely on their distinctive style to attract attention.
Li Ao from Taiwan is talented and knowledgeable, plus he sometimes has amazing words, and he was once an idol of the public.Because of political disputes with the Taiwan authorities, he was imprisoned twice, which not only did not damage Li Ao's image, but increased people's respect for him.It's a pity that Li Ao's limelight was too much, and his personality was expressed too frequently. He had eight or nine points of talent, but showed it very well.
It is said that to say that a person is "modest and honest" is to call him incompetent.Such mediocre people are caught in a large number in society.Yes, there is no market for people who hide in the corner and can't even utter a sentence.I want people to admit that it is necessary to show the good things about myself for everyone to see, but this does not mean that for a performance of personality, you can speak nonsense regardless of the occasion.You must know that even if you are a radiant diamond, you still need to prevent others from "aesthetic fatigue".
Adhering to principles will make our aura strong
In the process of daily leisure and consumption, we pay attention to taste and personality. The purpose is to satisfy ourselves and let others recognize it, so as to reflect the nobility of our own identity.Everything, expensive, elegant or alternative, is always the object of people's pursuit.In fact, in addition to this, sticking to our own "principles" can also increase our social status, but we usually don't pay much attention to it.
In Jerusalem, the Holy Land of Religion, there is a bar called "Finks".It has been selected as one of the top 3 bars in the world by the US "Newsweek" magazine for three consecutive years.
The bar was opened by the British 65 years ago, and the interior, including the tables and chairs, has remained the same.Although its area is only about 30 square meters, and there are only 1 counter and 5 tables inside, it is a very ordinary bar, but because of its good management, it has become a favorite place for journalists from various countries who come to Jerusalem.Its current owner is a German Jew named Ross Charles.He bought "Finks" in 1948 and has been running it ever since.
This "Finks" became a world-famous bar all because of the former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.
In the 20s, Kissinger, who was traveling for peace in the Middle East, came to Jerusalem and wanted to visit the well-known "Finks".He personally called the "Finks" to make an appointment, and it happened to be the owner Ross Charles who answered the phone.
At that time, in Jordan and Palestine, it can be said that Kissinger's name was known to everyone, because his name was spread, and he also controlled the fate of Jordan and the Middle East.Ross Charles accepted Kissinger's appointment very politely at first. However, Kissinger's request deeply pricked Ross Charles' sensitive nerve of professional ethics.
Kissinger said: "I have ten entourages, and they will also go to your store with me, and hope to decline other customers." Kissinger believes that this request can definitely be accepted, because he is a great Kissinger, And the other party is just a small bar owner, and patronizing that small shop by himself will imperceptibly enhance its image.Unexpectedly, Ross Charles gave Kissinger an unexpected answer.He said very politely: "It is a great honor for you to visit our store. However, I can't refuse other customers because of this. They are old regular customers, that is, people who support this store, and now To keep them out for your sake, I cannot do that anyway."
Hearing this unexpected answer, Kissinger was choked up, and he hung up the phone.
The next evening, Kissinger called again.He really deserves to be a great person. He first apologized for his impoliteness yesterday, saying that this time there are only three attendants, only one table is booked, and there is no need to decline other guests.This can be regarded as the biggest concession for Kissinger.However, the result disappointed Kissinger again.
"Thank you very much for your sincerity, but I still can't accept your appointment for tomorrow." Ross Charles replied.
"Why?" Kissinger was puzzled.
"Because tomorrow is Saturday, our store's regular holiday."
"But, I'm leaving here the day after tomorrow, can't you make an exception for me?"
"That won't work. As a Jewish descendant, you should also know that for us Jews, Saturday is a holy day, and opening a business on a Saturday is a blasphemy against God."
After hearing this, Kissinger hung up the phone without saying anything.
After this incident was known by American journalists, it was written as a report of "Kissinger and Funks", which was greatly exaggerated in American newspapers, which just increased the popularity of "Finks".
Ross Charles is a man of principle and bottom line, and the Funks Bar he runs is also a loyal and noble bar.This kind of aura of "Let's let the east, west, north and south wind, I will stand still" makes old acquaintances feel comfortable and new friends sigh.
"Perseverant" will always leave a deep impression on the onlookers.Some aristocratic families in the West cherish their family names, emblems, history, and honor to a stubborn degree, and their polite conversation and indifferent tone are also inherent characteristics of them.It is this style of never being in the same class that enables them to maintain their status as nobles even though they have lost their manors and castles.If people feel something different in a person, they usually feel that he is a person of great background and worthy of respect. Naturally, he has more weight than ordinary people.This way of putting on a show is also very common in life. For example, some people claim to only wear clothes made of natural fiber fabrics, drink only unsweetened coffee, do not attend parties with too many people, and do not get involved in informal businesses.The voiceovers are all: "Attention, I am not a casual person, you must treat me with the corresponding specifications."
Concentration unleashes amazing energy
Which person with a strong aura is a casual person?Which casual person is very popular?
There is not much difference between those who have achieved great success and those who are mediocre when they first enter the society in their twenties.These high-spirited young people are all bright-eyed, full of energy, and eager for a bright future.But after several years of hard work, some of them felt the insignificance of their personal power, so they were disappointed, shrank, and forgot their dreams of getting rich and getting ahead, and indulged in taking a few days off, getting some bonuses, and occasionally meeting two people. The small satisfaction of three friends having a meal.If things go on like this, their goals in life will be blurred, their minds will be dull, and their abilities will degenerate.
These people also have a common problem, that is, it is difficult to concentrate.It is painful for them to concentrate on doing one thing, even if it is only for an hour.When encountering any event, they interpret it according to the negative information they initially received, instead of thinking in another way.Over time, their cognition of things will always stay at the original level.
When you feel confused because you can't determine your life direction, you should think carefully about these questions: What do you want to do?What kind of life do you want to live?What kind of relationship do you want to maintain with others and society?In which state do you feel most satisfied?
At this time, we need to make our own life planning as soon as possible.Having a goal can save you from being a slave to trivial matters, and concentrate on your advantages and high rewards, so as to maximize your potential and gradually strengthen your aura.
There was once such a report abroad: 300 whales were trapped in a bay while chasing sardines and could never return to the sea.Someone commented: "These small fish lead the giants of the sea to their deaths, and the whales waste their enormous strength for insignificant small profits."
People without goals, like those whales above, may have a lot of energy, but they focus on the little things, and the little things make them forget what they should be doing.To reach your potential, you must focus on the areas where you have strengths and will have high returns.Goals help you focus.In addition, when you keep working hard on your own advantages, these advantages will be further developed, and even burst out with strength that you are surprised by yourself.
Henry Ford, the American car magnate, is a world celebrity, and his greatness began with his lofty goals.He wrote in his autobiography: "I will build a car for the masses. It is big enough for a family to ride, but small enough for one person to maintain. It is the most perfect design according to modern engineering technology. The design is made with the best quality materials and the best people. But its price is so low that people with low wages can buy one and live with their families in the vast world given by God Have a good time."
After the goal was determined, Mr. Ford began his lifelong career pursuit.
Regarding Mr. Ford's achievements, the American "New York Times" wrote: "When he came to this world, the world was still the era of horse-drawn carriages. When he passed away, the world had already become the world of cars. He built cars for the 'Volkswagen' , VW was both the beneficiary and the accidental beneficiary of Henry Ford, the skilled mechanic."
With goals, life becomes full of meaning, and everything seems to be clearly and clearly placed in front of you.What should be done, what should not be done, why to do it, for whom to do it, all the elements are so obvious and clear.
Once, on the golf course, Roman V. Peale hit a ball into the grass at the edge of the green.A young man happened to be cleaning fallen leaves there, so he looked for the ball with him. At this time, the young man hesitated and said: "Mr. Peel, I want to find time to ask you for advice."
When Peele asked him what the problem was, he said: "I can't say, I just wanted to do something."
"Can you be specific about what you want to do?" Peel asked.
"I don't know myself. I'd love to do something different, but I don't know what to do." He looked confused.
"It turns out that you want to do something, but you don't know what to do, and you're not sure when to do it, and you don't know what you are best at or like."
Hearing what Peel said, he nodded reluctantly and said, "I'm such a useless person."
"You're wrong, you just haven't organized your thoughts, or lacked an overall vision."
Peale suggested that he spend 2 weeks thinking about his future, and clarify his goals, write it down in the simplest words, and then estimate when he can achieve it smoothly, and suggested that he come to himself after reaching a conclusion.
Two weeks later, the young man appeared a little excited, at least mentally, appeared in front of Peel as a completely changed person.This time he brought a clear and complete concept, and he has grasped his goal, which is to become the manager of the golf course he is working at now.The current manager is retiring in 2 years, so he set the target date in 5 years.
He really learned the knowledge and leadership skills necessary to be a manager in 5 years.The post of manager was vacant afterwards, and no one was his competitor.
Now his status has become very important and has become an indispensable figure in the company.Now he lives very happily and is very satisfied with his life.
A person who has a dream in his heart and strives for the top is more active and active than the people around him every day. This is quantitative change.If you can persist in this kind of accumulation, you must have extraordinary achievements.
A person's excellence begins with a dream.The advantage of setting goals early is that they will release energy to help you achieve your goals, focus your attention and energy, let you see the future clearly, and give you the courage to start and stick to it until the end.
If you are a student and you read for grades, you will get grades; if you read for knowledge, you will get higher grades and more knowledge.If you want to make a business, you'll probably make it; if you make a business to make a business, you'll sell more and build your business.If you work only for salary, you may get less salary; if you work for improving the company, you will not only get more salary, but also get the respect of your colleagues, and your contribution to the company will be much greater , the company will pay you much more.
Perseverance to fight for the cause is unique to successful people.We call this spirit the aura, without which our challenges will have no direction.And people with dreams, even if they cannot realize this dream, will realize special value because of the process of struggle.
A person with a strong aura has everyone's demeanor
Responding to the opponent with "don't pay attention" and "don't mind", while making a high profile on the surface but actually speaking sharply, this is enough to blow the opponent's arrogance for a while.It's just that this kind of method is more arrogant than arrogance and more arrogant than arrogance. It can only kill enemies but not help friends. Unless you are a powerful figure who has enough confidence in yourself, you really shouldn't use it lightly.
On this basis, we can also make more subtle twists and turns.
In the past few years, "Lecture Forum of Hundred Schools" has been very popular in talking about the history of Chinese studies, and has introduced a large number of famous scholars. Yi Zhongtian, who "appreciated the man of the Han Dynasty" and then "appreciated the Three Kingdoms", is undoubtedly the speaker with the most limelight and the strongest aura.Educated people have some personalities. Yi Zhongtian has "three principles for dealing with criticism": point out flaws and correct them immediately; academic issues should be discussed in the long run; and the way of speaking should not be discussed.But Yi Zhongtian has always praised other "altar masters".He said Ma Ruifang, "The lecture hall of hundreds of schools is affirmed by experts and welcomed by the audience, and it is 'Speaking of Liaozhai'"; said Mao Peiqi, "Mao Peiqi's classics are excellent and very cute"; said his most important "competition Opponent" Yu Dan, "Xiao Nizi's eloquence is amazing, her language is really gorgeous, graceful, and fluent"; said Kang Zhen, "Kang Zhen has a very good episode. He talks about Li Bai's thoughts, what is Taoist thought , What is the Buddhist thought, one, two, three, four, clearly and logically."He also praised Qian Wenzhong for his potential, and Zeng Shiqiang for being the most popular, almost one of them was praised by Professor Yi.
Undoubtedly, Yi Zhongtian has a good demeanor, and his image is much cuter than those "scholars" who have no achievements but are blindly critical of others.To say that Yi Zhongtian is "very humble" is not necessarily true.People who praise others in public usually have some qualifications and status. Yi Zhongtian praised all his fellow colleagues, and he faintly knew that he was the invisible leader.If you don’t believe me, you can assume that if Ji Lianhai, a middle school history teacher who is young and has poor qualifications, broke into the "Hundreds of Lectures" by hand, if he made similar remarks, someone in the crowd would definitely frown: "This is also my turn." you say?"
Leader bearing and everyone's demeanor cannot be established by relying on spears and swords and superior martial arts. If you rely on your own strength, even if you can defeat 100 people, it is only 100 more opponents.Everyone who stands on a high ground has to face challenges from all sides. It is often more important to calm down disputes than to win a war cleanly and beautifully.
Nixon was nominated by the Republican Party as the vice-presidential candidate in 1952. During the election campaign, a rumor suddenly spread. The New York Post published a big news "Secret Nixon Fund". The "Millionaire's Club" of economic interests, and the "secret funds" they provided enabled Nixon to live a luxurious life that did not commensurate with his salary.
Nixon knew very well that the unfavorable public opinion was already raging, and it was far from enough to simply explain the truth of the matter. He had to candidly announce his entire financial situation to prove his innocence.Speaking from his youth, he said, “We have a 2-year-old car, title to two houses, $4000 in life insurance. No stocks, no public debt. $1 to the bank, $4500 to life insurance, $500 to parents.”
"Well, that's about it," Nixon said. "It's all I have and all I owe. It's not a lot, but Pat (Mrs. Nixon) and I are very satisfied because what we have Every dime we earn is legitimately earned by us.” By this time, he had undoubtedly won over a broad audience.
However, Nixon was a very energetic person. He not only wanted the public to believe him and not to believe rumors, but also took this opportunity to communicate emotionally with the public, hoping that the silent majority of voters would speak up.
To this end, he gave a speech. The place of the speech was his study. The characters on the scene were him, his wife Pat, two daughters and a little dog with black and white spots. The upper-middle-level happy family.When talking to the audience, Nixon looked at his wife, daughter and pet dog from time to time, "There is one more thing, maybe I should tell you, because if I don't say it, they will talk about me. In the nomination (candidate for vice president People) after that, we did get a gift. There was a guy in Texas who heard Pat on the radio mention that our two kids would love a puppy, believe it or not, just as we were off this campaign The day before the trip there was a notice from the Federal Station in Baltimore that they had a package for us and we were going to pick it up. Do you know what it is?"
"It's a spaniel puppy in a wicker crate they brought in from Texas - with black and white spots, our youngest daughter Tricia, 6, named him' Checkers'. You know, they love that puppy like all kids. Now I'm just going to say this, no matter what they say, we're gonna keep him!"
Americans are famous for their love of dogs. The only gift Nixon got was a puppy, not to mention it was for his 6-year-old daughter. For the sake of the child, this was the only thing he wanted to "defend".Is there anything more human than this?Is there anything more emotionally connected to the average voter than this?What's more, that cute little flower dog is snuggling in the arms of Nixon's 6-year-old daughter...
Telegrams and letters of support flooded in like snowflakes, and Nixon brilliantly used sincerity to raise his own social status, defuse the crisis, and win the support of the people.
No matter what era or environment, if someone stands out, someone will tear down the stage and wreak havoc.Those who are impatient may rush to the stage to compete with the comers with a pale face. In this way, the dominant position you have gained through hard work before will be shaken-only those who do not have confidence in their own strength will Desperately protect that poor result.It's better to show a high profile that doesn't mind, and the bystanders can clearly see who is strong and who is weak.In addition, all the praise, care, sincerity and openness are the tolerance of the strong, and the ones who make people admire are the real masters.
Stay high low, low high
Looking around, this is a prosperous and chaotic era.High-ranking officials, celebrities in finance and economics, new stars in entertainment, and big names from the grassroots all appeared together under flashing lights, attracting the attention of the public.Where there is attention comes influence, and then there is productivity.Putting on a show is actually a display of strength and personality, and those who do well have a chance to win.
If you want to stand out from the crowd, you must first look good.The more insignificant a person is, the more he needs the whitewash of success.
Rottick Anita is a famous British female entrepreneur. She is the chairman of the beauty shop chain group and a successful example of a housewife starting a company.
Anita was born in Italy and graduated from Newton College for poor children. After marrying her husband Gordon, her life was not well-off.
Anita decided to start her own business.Before getting married, Anita traveled to the island countries in the South Pacific, and became very interested in the green plant-based cosmetics used by the aborigines. She collected a lot of natural cosmetic formulas.She believed that natural cosmetics would be more popular with consumers than the popular chemical cosmetics in the market. At that time, the difficulty of starting a small shop was the investment of 4000 pounds, and her only way was to borrow from the bank.
Anita took her two daughters to a bank in Little Hampton and told the manager about her plight, saying that she urgently needed to open a small shop to support her family, and hoped that the bank would provide her with financial support out of humanitarian considerations.The manager believed that the bank was not a charity and rejected Anita's request for a loan.
However, the strong Anita did not despair, she kept trying to find a way.Anita did some research, and a week later, she put on a special suit and came to the bank again like a business lady.She also prepared a stack of documents, including feasibility reports and property certificates.In the documents, she touted the planned store as the best investment project in the world, glorifying herself as a business wizard with rich experience in the cosmetics industry.This time she changed her strategy and used the rules of the game of commercial banks - the richer it is, the easier it is for people to borrow money, to deal with the banks.
The bank manager didn't pay much attention to Anita because he hadn't paid much attention to her a week ago.When he came back after changing his appearance this time, he didn't recognize her.Anita's qualifications passed the bank's review, and she successfully obtained a loan of 1 pounds, which became her very important start-up capital.
On March 1976, 3, Anita's beauty shop officially opened.As the "Observer" reported her opening of the store before, the store was an instant hit, with a flood of customers and an income of 27 pounds on the first day.
Since then, Anita has continued to open branches and embarked on the road of chain operation, and her small shop has become a large enterprise all over the world.
The poor in this world are the ones left behind by the train of opportunity.When they find that others have fame, wealth and status, but they are always empty-handed, they will inevitably have doubts about their own abilities.The inferiority complex keeps them acting on tiptoe and speaking cautiously.If things go on like this, this kind of humility has become the deepest imprint on them. Even if someone wants to give them a hand, they will appear as givers rather than collaborators.
In modern society, people's eyes are mostly looking upwards. When we need help from the outside world, it is by no means more powerful to show our own difficulties than to show our confidence.
For those little people who have not yet established a career foundation, the most important thing to put on a show is to make a facade for themselves.The reason why some people can be the boss in the crowd is not because of how much ready-made capital he has, but because his appeal and appeal are a kind of valuable intangible assets.A strong man who guides the country and makes all kinds of maneuvers will make his followers completely forget his origin and starting point. If he has money, he will contribute money, and if he is strong, he will follow him willingly to fight the country.
Only those people who are in the world and have unlimited scenery in a certain field are eligible to return to the original, neither putting on airs nor making any gestures.
Lin Yanni, a well-known person in Hong Kong's advertising industry, had business dealings with Li Ka-shing's Cheung Kong Group when she was in charge of an advertising company.The advertising market is a buyer's market. Only advertisers can ask customers, and customers don't have to worry about having advertisements.In this way, it will naturally breed the arrogance and arrogance of customers, especially big customers like Cheung Kong Group.
Lin Yanni recalled: "The first time I went to the Changshi Group headquarters to discuss, Li Ka-shing was very polite. He sent a male waiter in the Changshi Group uniform to wait for us at the entrance of the underground elevator and greeted us to go up. The elevator could not go up to the top floor. After the office of Shishi Building, a waiter in uniform was changed to accompany us up the steps to the top floor, and Mr. Li was waiting for us there. It was raining that day, and I was soaked in rain. Mr. Li saw me and helped me take off my clothes. He took the coat with his own hands, and hung it up for me with his own hands, without the help of the waiter."
After the two parties completed the first advertising business, due to mutual trust, Li Ka-shing reduced his participation in advertising matters, and his assistants came forward to discuss the next sales advertisement, and told them "don't bother them too much".
When a person can feel his weight even if he just sits aside and nods and smiles, what he should pay attention to is not to turn his own strength into a pressure on others.Some really big people feel kind and warm, like a spring breeze, and everyone is proud to cooperate with them like stars holding the moon.People's hearts and wealth will naturally flow into a river.
For the general public, no matter their strength or status, they have nothing to be proud of, so they urgently need to show their outstanding side in order to gain a chance for development.As a show, it is natural to sing high-profile times.But it is worth noting that in real life, everyone will be in an advantageous position at a specific time or environment, for example, when we face a young, less experienced person, a latecomer in the workplace, the salary is more meager colleagues, in this case, it is low-key to sing.Only in this way can you express your sincerity, condense your feelings, and show your generosity.
It's not a bad thing to show our identity, it's just that we need to know when to show and when to restrain ourselves.
Dare to make a show, boldly show off your aura
In the traditional concept, people always like to regard "containment but not disclosure" as a kind of virtue. A person's advantages, achievements and talents can only be discovered by others.As for yourself, although you have made many achievements, you have profound knowledge and amazing talents, you can only say that you are "little talent".If anyone is too sharp, it is easy to attract criticism.People like those who are submissive and humble, and those who are brave enough to show their talents are not as popular as the "gentleman who is modest".
However, in today's era of fierce competition, blindly being a "modesty gentleman" may become a major disadvantage.To compete is to "compete" and "compete", that is, to dare to compete with others.In this case, why not be a little arrogant?A strong person needs some arrogance. Of course, the arrogance here does not mean domineering over others, but a temperament based on one's own capital, a gesture of affirmation of oneself.
Arrogance is a manifestation of pride, a direct understanding of oneself, and a symbol of self-confidence.Self-confidence can stimulate people's creativity.If anyone who wants to succeed in his career lacks self-confidence and arrogance, he will lack the motivation to create.
Arrogance always has capital.Arrogance without capital is frivolous and arrogant.As the saying goes, "Arrogant soldiers are bound to lose", that is to say, if you don't correctly assess the situation and situation of yourself and your opponent, you will lose the capital of arrogance.The arrogance with capital is a kind of self-confident arrogance.The greatest enemy of arrogance is vanity. Vanity is an attempt to use external things to build a high inner self-confidence, but arrogance is based on strong self-confidence.True arrogance in line with psychological science can not only accept the stimulation of various pressures, driving forces and challenges from the society, but also can always aim at the goal of one's pursuit and attack, and stimulate great comprehensive creativity.Although there are failures sometimes, failure is just a process of focusing, which can stimulate creativity and move to a higher level until success.
In our traditional consciousness, arrogance is often regarded as a derogatory term. In fact, without arrogance, there will be no catalyst to stimulate creativity, and success will not be possible.
Those who have nothing to be proud of will belittle the quality of "arrogance".Anyone who is confident and has the temperament of a successful person should face up to his temperament, because people with this temperament have the courage to express themselves, are good at fighting for more opportunities, and will unremittingly forge ahead towards their ideals.
Today's era is a fast-paced and high-efficiency era, and what is needed is a straightforward, decisive and courageous style.People can't stand that kind of hesitant and shy "humility", and don't want to listen to the kind of "self-deprecating words" of mother-in-law and "whispering".The "modesty" of pretentious posture no longer meets the needs and rhythm of society.In modern society, shrewd entrepreneurs recruit employees, and smart leaders choose subordinates, not by how thoughtful and courteous you are, but by how much you have learned.You should promote yourself realistically: what are your strengths, what are your talents, what do you want to do, and what can you do.Go straight and let others know you. In this way, it is easier for you to get opportunities.
The acceleration of social change has accelerated the pace of knowledge updating.In modern society, people's talents and energy are limited by time.Missed the opportunity, knowledge will be depreciated, energy will decline.If a person can't seize the opportunity in his golden age, boldly and proactively show his intelligence, but is always so-called modest, low-key, and hidden, then the opportunity will be delayed.Today, with the rapid increase in knowledge, even if you have a lot of knowledge, you can only maintain an advantage in a short period of time. Whether you can get a stage to display it in this short period of time will become the key to your success or failure.Modern society is a society full of talents, and there are many talents for the society to choose from.Since you are coy and shy, saying that you are not good at this or that, then, who is willing to leave other capable people behind and spend time investigating and understanding you?Moreover, since there is competition, others will not give in to you for opportunities, but will compete with you.Once you lose the chance of being selected, others will get there first, and you can only feel sorry for yourself.
Having the courage to express yourself is not what people often call "showing off".To be proactive and to fully display one's talents is to respect oneself and be responsible to society.Some insights, if you don't publicize them, others won't know about them.Some innovative insights that can promote social progress cannot be promoted if you do not promote them.This is not only a loss for individuals, but also a loss for society.
People only know that Bell invented the telephone, but they don't know that before Bell, someone invented this kind of device, but people at that time didn't understand the social significance of this invention, so they ignored it, and the inventor just stopped there. up.After Bell invented the telephone, his experience was no better than that person, but he stubbornly promoted his invention to people, and went to perform in many cities like an actor.When it really didn't work, he founded the "Bell Telephone Company" and finally promoted the telephone.
How could the telephone enter people's homes without Bell's "boasting"?It can be seen that the courage to perform is not as bad as people imagine, on the contrary, it is an indispensable quality for outstanding talents.
Those who have the courage to express themselves show their value by virtue of their real talents, real actions, and visible results, while those who brag about themselves can't show anything real, they just rely on lies and To deceive and deceive others.This kind of self-boasting can only be deceived for a while, and once the truth is exposed, people will cast aside it.
A person with a strong aura can have a deterrent effect on others. He must be a person with a strong heart, a certain social achievement, and a person who is generally recognized by everyone.Aura is a kind of state of mind. Appearance and props certainly have an effect, but in the end it depends on the heart.People with aura, others respect you, get close to you, and are attracted to you, so they dare not ignore or despise you at will.
(End of this chapter)
A successful personality shapes a successful aura
We say that failure comes from a failed personality, so success is naturally inseparable from a successful personality.A successful personality has incredible power, and this power is the aura of a successful person.
There are some people who can always deeply move others with their enthusiasm.Many people are attracted to them, both intellectually and emotionally, and this attraction is so willing that they unconsciously work toward their goals.
So where did their prestige come from?What factors constitute these prestige?Why are these people so attractive?
Is it just because of hype?Or are they naturally tactful in their dealings with people?Or do they have secrets about trying to stand out that make us hang around them?
Indeed, the above are all reasons, but only part of the reasons. More scientifically speaking, they have unique personality charm.Charisma is the ability, determined by your personality, to positively influence others through physical, emotional, and intellectual interaction with them.
Personality charm includes the following elements:
(1) Silent language.Silent language is a signal, a look, an action, or a smile that you unconsciously send to the people around you, all of which will form your "silent language", that is, your "image".
(2) Expressive ability.Maybe you have a great idea, but if you don't talk about it, who will know?Who else would agree?
(3) Listening skills.For those who have not received much education or training, listening more is also a key to communication, and it can also be refreshing.
(4) Persuasion skills.This is a technique for encouraging people to accept your leadership or to adopt your ideas.A point of view, no matter how correct, is useless if it is not recognized and adopted.
(5) The ability to use time and space.Again, this is often overlooked.In fact, the use of time and space can both enhance and destroy relationships.
(6) The ability to adapt to others.It's impossible to want to relate to another person without knowing their style.So, in order to build good relationships, work on improving the adaptability of your behavior.
(7) IMPORTANT INSIGHTS.Maybe you're a powerful orator, maybe you're great at building relationships, maybe you're great at listening and taking advantage of the situation, but if you don't have anything good to say, it's always An empty shelf.
It can be seen that the personality charm of an individual is not composed of a single factor.In fact, what makes a person attractive is precisely because he has such a series of skills and methods linked together.
Cultivate an aura and highlight your identity with your personality
Compared with Westerners who have a flamboyant personality, Chinese people are introverted.For a long time, humility, prudence, patience, and concession have been our highest principles of life.This kind of mediocre gray personality comes from tradition and education, and it does not match people's natural nature.In other words, our character is suppressed.
A person without his own characteristics is easily buried.In modern society, people's flamboyant, aggressive and confident side is more and more sought after by the public.A person's knowledge comes from long-term accumulation; a person's appearance mainly depends on innate factors.However, the charm of personality can be conveyed through your speech and manners, and it will leave a deep impression on people in a very short period of time.
The first turning point in Yang Lan's life came when she applied for the host of "Zhengda Variety Show" on CCTV.Before that, she was just an ordinary college student at Beijing Foreign Studies University, and she had nothing outstanding.Without this opportunity, Yang Lan may have performed very well in life, but it is impossible for her to become famous so early, so fast, and so vigorously.
As Yang Lan said in his autobiography: "If there was no unexpected opportunity, I would have been a manager of some big hotel today, sitting behind a desk with a professional smile." The grasp of this unexpected opportunity depends on the performance of her personality.
The opportunity was that Thailand's Chia Tai Group and China Central Television jointly produced "Chia Tai Variety Show". The two parties decided to choose a female college student as the host, and Yang Lan was recommended to participate in the audition.
To be honest, Yang Lan was not favored at the beginning, and it was only because of her good temperament that she was able to make it all the way to the finals.According to a director, although Yang Lan is also regarded as one of the best candidates, some people think she is not beautiful enough, so it is not sure whether to use her.
When the final selection was made, the director of the TV station's program was also present. They wanted to choose one between Yang Lan and another girl who even Yang Lan had to admit was "very pretty".This will be the last option.Yang Lan's competitive spirit was suddenly aroused, she thought: "Even if you don't choose me today, I have to prove my quality."
The topic of this examination is: [-]. How will you be the host of this program; [-]. Introduce yourself.
Yang Lan started it like this: "I think the primary criterion for a host is not her appearance, but whether she has a strong desire to communicate with the audience. I hope to be the host of this show, because I like traveling, people and nature The pleasure of getting close to each other is unparalleled, and I want to tell the audience about my feelings."
When introducing herself, Yang Lan said this: "My parents named me 'Lan' because they hoped that I would have a mind like the sea, be self-improving and self-reliant, and I believe I can do this..."
Yang Lan spoke for half an hour without any written reference. Her fluent language, rigorous thinking, and full of thoughtfulness quickly won the appreciation of the leaders.People no longer pay attention to whether she is beautiful enough, but are deeply attracted by her performance.According to Yang Lan's later recollection: "After I finished speaking, I felt very quiet in the room. It seems that, in terms of qigong, it was my aura that enveloped them."
When Yang Lan returned to that room again, CCTV had decided to officially hire her, and this interview changed her life.
If judged by the public's standards, Yang Lan is definitely not the kind of big beauty who is born beautiful. Today we think Yang Lan is beautiful, but in fact, it is the comprehensive feeling of her demeanor, temperament, talent and personality.If you have strength and content, plus a little bit of brilliant personality, the probability of standing out from the crowd will undoubtedly increase a lot.In this sense, individuality is an important plus factor for increasing social status.But it is worth noting that that kind of speech and behavior with a strong personal touch can only be an embellishment of personal strength.To gain a foothold in society, people cannot rely on their distinctive style to attract attention.
Li Ao from Taiwan is talented and knowledgeable, plus he sometimes has amazing words, and he was once an idol of the public.Because of political disputes with the Taiwan authorities, he was imprisoned twice, which not only did not damage Li Ao's image, but increased people's respect for him.It's a pity that Li Ao's limelight was too much, and his personality was expressed too frequently. He had eight or nine points of talent, but showed it very well.
It is said that to say that a person is "modest and honest" is to call him incompetent.Such mediocre people are caught in a large number in society.Yes, there is no market for people who hide in the corner and can't even utter a sentence.I want people to admit that it is necessary to show the good things about myself for everyone to see, but this does not mean that for a performance of personality, you can speak nonsense regardless of the occasion.You must know that even if you are a radiant diamond, you still need to prevent others from "aesthetic fatigue".
Adhering to principles will make our aura strong
In the process of daily leisure and consumption, we pay attention to taste and personality. The purpose is to satisfy ourselves and let others recognize it, so as to reflect the nobility of our own identity.Everything, expensive, elegant or alternative, is always the object of people's pursuit.In fact, in addition to this, sticking to our own "principles" can also increase our social status, but we usually don't pay much attention to it.
In Jerusalem, the Holy Land of Religion, there is a bar called "Finks".It has been selected as one of the top 3 bars in the world by the US "Newsweek" magazine for three consecutive years.
The bar was opened by the British 65 years ago, and the interior, including the tables and chairs, has remained the same.Although its area is only about 30 square meters, and there are only 1 counter and 5 tables inside, it is a very ordinary bar, but because of its good management, it has become a favorite place for journalists from various countries who come to Jerusalem.Its current owner is a German Jew named Ross Charles.He bought "Finks" in 1948 and has been running it ever since.
This "Finks" became a world-famous bar all because of the former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.
In the 20s, Kissinger, who was traveling for peace in the Middle East, came to Jerusalem and wanted to visit the well-known "Finks".He personally called the "Finks" to make an appointment, and it happened to be the owner Ross Charles who answered the phone.
At that time, in Jordan and Palestine, it can be said that Kissinger's name was known to everyone, because his name was spread, and he also controlled the fate of Jordan and the Middle East.Ross Charles accepted Kissinger's appointment very politely at first. However, Kissinger's request deeply pricked Ross Charles' sensitive nerve of professional ethics.
Kissinger said: "I have ten entourages, and they will also go to your store with me, and hope to decline other customers." Kissinger believes that this request can definitely be accepted, because he is a great Kissinger, And the other party is just a small bar owner, and patronizing that small shop by himself will imperceptibly enhance its image.Unexpectedly, Ross Charles gave Kissinger an unexpected answer.He said very politely: "It is a great honor for you to visit our store. However, I can't refuse other customers because of this. They are old regular customers, that is, people who support this store, and now To keep them out for your sake, I cannot do that anyway."
Hearing this unexpected answer, Kissinger was choked up, and he hung up the phone.
The next evening, Kissinger called again.He really deserves to be a great person. He first apologized for his impoliteness yesterday, saying that this time there are only three attendants, only one table is booked, and there is no need to decline other guests.This can be regarded as the biggest concession for Kissinger.However, the result disappointed Kissinger again.
"Thank you very much for your sincerity, but I still can't accept your appointment for tomorrow." Ross Charles replied.
"Why?" Kissinger was puzzled.
"Because tomorrow is Saturday, our store's regular holiday."
"But, I'm leaving here the day after tomorrow, can't you make an exception for me?"
"That won't work. As a Jewish descendant, you should also know that for us Jews, Saturday is a holy day, and opening a business on a Saturday is a blasphemy against God."
After hearing this, Kissinger hung up the phone without saying anything.
After this incident was known by American journalists, it was written as a report of "Kissinger and Funks", which was greatly exaggerated in American newspapers, which just increased the popularity of "Finks".
Ross Charles is a man of principle and bottom line, and the Funks Bar he runs is also a loyal and noble bar.This kind of aura of "Let's let the east, west, north and south wind, I will stand still" makes old acquaintances feel comfortable and new friends sigh.
"Perseverant" will always leave a deep impression on the onlookers.Some aristocratic families in the West cherish their family names, emblems, history, and honor to a stubborn degree, and their polite conversation and indifferent tone are also inherent characteristics of them.It is this style of never being in the same class that enables them to maintain their status as nobles even though they have lost their manors and castles.If people feel something different in a person, they usually feel that he is a person of great background and worthy of respect. Naturally, he has more weight than ordinary people.This way of putting on a show is also very common in life. For example, some people claim to only wear clothes made of natural fiber fabrics, drink only unsweetened coffee, do not attend parties with too many people, and do not get involved in informal businesses.The voiceovers are all: "Attention, I am not a casual person, you must treat me with the corresponding specifications."
Concentration unleashes amazing energy
Which person with a strong aura is a casual person?Which casual person is very popular?
There is not much difference between those who have achieved great success and those who are mediocre when they first enter the society in their twenties.These high-spirited young people are all bright-eyed, full of energy, and eager for a bright future.But after several years of hard work, some of them felt the insignificance of their personal power, so they were disappointed, shrank, and forgot their dreams of getting rich and getting ahead, and indulged in taking a few days off, getting some bonuses, and occasionally meeting two people. The small satisfaction of three friends having a meal.If things go on like this, their goals in life will be blurred, their minds will be dull, and their abilities will degenerate.
These people also have a common problem, that is, it is difficult to concentrate.It is painful for them to concentrate on doing one thing, even if it is only for an hour.When encountering any event, they interpret it according to the negative information they initially received, instead of thinking in another way.Over time, their cognition of things will always stay at the original level.
When you feel confused because you can't determine your life direction, you should think carefully about these questions: What do you want to do?What kind of life do you want to live?What kind of relationship do you want to maintain with others and society?In which state do you feel most satisfied?
At this time, we need to make our own life planning as soon as possible.Having a goal can save you from being a slave to trivial matters, and concentrate on your advantages and high rewards, so as to maximize your potential and gradually strengthen your aura.
There was once such a report abroad: 300 whales were trapped in a bay while chasing sardines and could never return to the sea.Someone commented: "These small fish lead the giants of the sea to their deaths, and the whales waste their enormous strength for insignificant small profits."
People without goals, like those whales above, may have a lot of energy, but they focus on the little things, and the little things make them forget what they should be doing.To reach your potential, you must focus on the areas where you have strengths and will have high returns.Goals help you focus.In addition, when you keep working hard on your own advantages, these advantages will be further developed, and even burst out with strength that you are surprised by yourself.
Henry Ford, the American car magnate, is a world celebrity, and his greatness began with his lofty goals.He wrote in his autobiography: "I will build a car for the masses. It is big enough for a family to ride, but small enough for one person to maintain. It is the most perfect design according to modern engineering technology. The design is made with the best quality materials and the best people. But its price is so low that people with low wages can buy one and live with their families in the vast world given by God Have a good time."
After the goal was determined, Mr. Ford began his lifelong career pursuit.
Regarding Mr. Ford's achievements, the American "New York Times" wrote: "When he came to this world, the world was still the era of horse-drawn carriages. When he passed away, the world had already become the world of cars. He built cars for the 'Volkswagen' , VW was both the beneficiary and the accidental beneficiary of Henry Ford, the skilled mechanic."
With goals, life becomes full of meaning, and everything seems to be clearly and clearly placed in front of you.What should be done, what should not be done, why to do it, for whom to do it, all the elements are so obvious and clear.
Once, on the golf course, Roman V. Peale hit a ball into the grass at the edge of the green.A young man happened to be cleaning fallen leaves there, so he looked for the ball with him. At this time, the young man hesitated and said: "Mr. Peel, I want to find time to ask you for advice."
When Peele asked him what the problem was, he said: "I can't say, I just wanted to do something."
"Can you be specific about what you want to do?" Peel asked.
"I don't know myself. I'd love to do something different, but I don't know what to do." He looked confused.
"It turns out that you want to do something, but you don't know what to do, and you're not sure when to do it, and you don't know what you are best at or like."
Hearing what Peel said, he nodded reluctantly and said, "I'm such a useless person."
"You're wrong, you just haven't organized your thoughts, or lacked an overall vision."
Peale suggested that he spend 2 weeks thinking about his future, and clarify his goals, write it down in the simplest words, and then estimate when he can achieve it smoothly, and suggested that he come to himself after reaching a conclusion.
Two weeks later, the young man appeared a little excited, at least mentally, appeared in front of Peel as a completely changed person.This time he brought a clear and complete concept, and he has grasped his goal, which is to become the manager of the golf course he is working at now.The current manager is retiring in 2 years, so he set the target date in 5 years.
He really learned the knowledge and leadership skills necessary to be a manager in 5 years.The post of manager was vacant afterwards, and no one was his competitor.
Now his status has become very important and has become an indispensable figure in the company.Now he lives very happily and is very satisfied with his life.
A person who has a dream in his heart and strives for the top is more active and active than the people around him every day. This is quantitative change.If you can persist in this kind of accumulation, you must have extraordinary achievements.
A person's excellence begins with a dream.The advantage of setting goals early is that they will release energy to help you achieve your goals, focus your attention and energy, let you see the future clearly, and give you the courage to start and stick to it until the end.
If you are a student and you read for grades, you will get grades; if you read for knowledge, you will get higher grades and more knowledge.If you want to make a business, you'll probably make it; if you make a business to make a business, you'll sell more and build your business.If you work only for salary, you may get less salary; if you work for improving the company, you will not only get more salary, but also get the respect of your colleagues, and your contribution to the company will be much greater , the company will pay you much more.
Perseverance to fight for the cause is unique to successful people.We call this spirit the aura, without which our challenges will have no direction.And people with dreams, even if they cannot realize this dream, will realize special value because of the process of struggle.
A person with a strong aura has everyone's demeanor
Responding to the opponent with "don't pay attention" and "don't mind", while making a high profile on the surface but actually speaking sharply, this is enough to blow the opponent's arrogance for a while.It's just that this kind of method is more arrogant than arrogance and more arrogant than arrogance. It can only kill enemies but not help friends. Unless you are a powerful figure who has enough confidence in yourself, you really shouldn't use it lightly.
On this basis, we can also make more subtle twists and turns.
In the past few years, "Lecture Forum of Hundred Schools" has been very popular in talking about the history of Chinese studies, and has introduced a large number of famous scholars. Yi Zhongtian, who "appreciated the man of the Han Dynasty" and then "appreciated the Three Kingdoms", is undoubtedly the speaker with the most limelight and the strongest aura.Educated people have some personalities. Yi Zhongtian has "three principles for dealing with criticism": point out flaws and correct them immediately; academic issues should be discussed in the long run; and the way of speaking should not be discussed.But Yi Zhongtian has always praised other "altar masters".He said Ma Ruifang, "The lecture hall of hundreds of schools is affirmed by experts and welcomed by the audience, and it is 'Speaking of Liaozhai'"; said Mao Peiqi, "Mao Peiqi's classics are excellent and very cute"; said his most important "competition Opponent" Yu Dan, "Xiao Nizi's eloquence is amazing, her language is really gorgeous, graceful, and fluent"; said Kang Zhen, "Kang Zhen has a very good episode. He talks about Li Bai's thoughts, what is Taoist thought , What is the Buddhist thought, one, two, three, four, clearly and logically."He also praised Qian Wenzhong for his potential, and Zeng Shiqiang for being the most popular, almost one of them was praised by Professor Yi.
Undoubtedly, Yi Zhongtian has a good demeanor, and his image is much cuter than those "scholars" who have no achievements but are blindly critical of others.To say that Yi Zhongtian is "very humble" is not necessarily true.People who praise others in public usually have some qualifications and status. Yi Zhongtian praised all his fellow colleagues, and he faintly knew that he was the invisible leader.If you don’t believe me, you can assume that if Ji Lianhai, a middle school history teacher who is young and has poor qualifications, broke into the "Hundreds of Lectures" by hand, if he made similar remarks, someone in the crowd would definitely frown: "This is also my turn." you say?"
Leader bearing and everyone's demeanor cannot be established by relying on spears and swords and superior martial arts. If you rely on your own strength, even if you can defeat 100 people, it is only 100 more opponents.Everyone who stands on a high ground has to face challenges from all sides. It is often more important to calm down disputes than to win a war cleanly and beautifully.
Nixon was nominated by the Republican Party as the vice-presidential candidate in 1952. During the election campaign, a rumor suddenly spread. The New York Post published a big news "Secret Nixon Fund". The "Millionaire's Club" of economic interests, and the "secret funds" they provided enabled Nixon to live a luxurious life that did not commensurate with his salary.
Nixon knew very well that the unfavorable public opinion was already raging, and it was far from enough to simply explain the truth of the matter. He had to candidly announce his entire financial situation to prove his innocence.Speaking from his youth, he said, “We have a 2-year-old car, title to two houses, $4000 in life insurance. No stocks, no public debt. $1 to the bank, $4500 to life insurance, $500 to parents.”
"Well, that's about it," Nixon said. "It's all I have and all I owe. It's not a lot, but Pat (Mrs. Nixon) and I are very satisfied because what we have Every dime we earn is legitimately earned by us.” By this time, he had undoubtedly won over a broad audience.
However, Nixon was a very energetic person. He not only wanted the public to believe him and not to believe rumors, but also took this opportunity to communicate emotionally with the public, hoping that the silent majority of voters would speak up.
To this end, he gave a speech. The place of the speech was his study. The characters on the scene were him, his wife Pat, two daughters and a little dog with black and white spots. The upper-middle-level happy family.When talking to the audience, Nixon looked at his wife, daughter and pet dog from time to time, "There is one more thing, maybe I should tell you, because if I don't say it, they will talk about me. In the nomination (candidate for vice president People) after that, we did get a gift. There was a guy in Texas who heard Pat on the radio mention that our two kids would love a puppy, believe it or not, just as we were off this campaign The day before the trip there was a notice from the Federal Station in Baltimore that they had a package for us and we were going to pick it up. Do you know what it is?"
"It's a spaniel puppy in a wicker crate they brought in from Texas - with black and white spots, our youngest daughter Tricia, 6, named him' Checkers'. You know, they love that puppy like all kids. Now I'm just going to say this, no matter what they say, we're gonna keep him!"
Americans are famous for their love of dogs. The only gift Nixon got was a puppy, not to mention it was for his 6-year-old daughter. For the sake of the child, this was the only thing he wanted to "defend".Is there anything more human than this?Is there anything more emotionally connected to the average voter than this?What's more, that cute little flower dog is snuggling in the arms of Nixon's 6-year-old daughter...
Telegrams and letters of support flooded in like snowflakes, and Nixon brilliantly used sincerity to raise his own social status, defuse the crisis, and win the support of the people.
No matter what era or environment, if someone stands out, someone will tear down the stage and wreak havoc.Those who are impatient may rush to the stage to compete with the comers with a pale face. In this way, the dominant position you have gained through hard work before will be shaken-only those who do not have confidence in their own strength will Desperately protect that poor result.It's better to show a high profile that doesn't mind, and the bystanders can clearly see who is strong and who is weak.In addition, all the praise, care, sincerity and openness are the tolerance of the strong, and the ones who make people admire are the real masters.
Stay high low, low high
Looking around, this is a prosperous and chaotic era.High-ranking officials, celebrities in finance and economics, new stars in entertainment, and big names from the grassroots all appeared together under flashing lights, attracting the attention of the public.Where there is attention comes influence, and then there is productivity.Putting on a show is actually a display of strength and personality, and those who do well have a chance to win.
If you want to stand out from the crowd, you must first look good.The more insignificant a person is, the more he needs the whitewash of success.
Rottick Anita is a famous British female entrepreneur. She is the chairman of the beauty shop chain group and a successful example of a housewife starting a company.
Anita was born in Italy and graduated from Newton College for poor children. After marrying her husband Gordon, her life was not well-off.
Anita decided to start her own business.Before getting married, Anita traveled to the island countries in the South Pacific, and became very interested in the green plant-based cosmetics used by the aborigines. She collected a lot of natural cosmetic formulas.She believed that natural cosmetics would be more popular with consumers than the popular chemical cosmetics in the market. At that time, the difficulty of starting a small shop was the investment of 4000 pounds, and her only way was to borrow from the bank.
Anita took her two daughters to a bank in Little Hampton and told the manager about her plight, saying that she urgently needed to open a small shop to support her family, and hoped that the bank would provide her with financial support out of humanitarian considerations.The manager believed that the bank was not a charity and rejected Anita's request for a loan.
However, the strong Anita did not despair, she kept trying to find a way.Anita did some research, and a week later, she put on a special suit and came to the bank again like a business lady.She also prepared a stack of documents, including feasibility reports and property certificates.In the documents, she touted the planned store as the best investment project in the world, glorifying herself as a business wizard with rich experience in the cosmetics industry.This time she changed her strategy and used the rules of the game of commercial banks - the richer it is, the easier it is for people to borrow money, to deal with the banks.
The bank manager didn't pay much attention to Anita because he hadn't paid much attention to her a week ago.When he came back after changing his appearance this time, he didn't recognize her.Anita's qualifications passed the bank's review, and she successfully obtained a loan of 1 pounds, which became her very important start-up capital.
On March 1976, 3, Anita's beauty shop officially opened.As the "Observer" reported her opening of the store before, the store was an instant hit, with a flood of customers and an income of 27 pounds on the first day.
Since then, Anita has continued to open branches and embarked on the road of chain operation, and her small shop has become a large enterprise all over the world.
The poor in this world are the ones left behind by the train of opportunity.When they find that others have fame, wealth and status, but they are always empty-handed, they will inevitably have doubts about their own abilities.The inferiority complex keeps them acting on tiptoe and speaking cautiously.If things go on like this, this kind of humility has become the deepest imprint on them. Even if someone wants to give them a hand, they will appear as givers rather than collaborators.
In modern society, people's eyes are mostly looking upwards. When we need help from the outside world, it is by no means more powerful to show our own difficulties than to show our confidence.
For those little people who have not yet established a career foundation, the most important thing to put on a show is to make a facade for themselves.The reason why some people can be the boss in the crowd is not because of how much ready-made capital he has, but because his appeal and appeal are a kind of valuable intangible assets.A strong man who guides the country and makes all kinds of maneuvers will make his followers completely forget his origin and starting point. If he has money, he will contribute money, and if he is strong, he will follow him willingly to fight the country.
Only those people who are in the world and have unlimited scenery in a certain field are eligible to return to the original, neither putting on airs nor making any gestures.
Lin Yanni, a well-known person in Hong Kong's advertising industry, had business dealings with Li Ka-shing's Cheung Kong Group when she was in charge of an advertising company.The advertising market is a buyer's market. Only advertisers can ask customers, and customers don't have to worry about having advertisements.In this way, it will naturally breed the arrogance and arrogance of customers, especially big customers like Cheung Kong Group.
Lin Yanni recalled: "The first time I went to the Changshi Group headquarters to discuss, Li Ka-shing was very polite. He sent a male waiter in the Changshi Group uniform to wait for us at the entrance of the underground elevator and greeted us to go up. The elevator could not go up to the top floor. After the office of Shishi Building, a waiter in uniform was changed to accompany us up the steps to the top floor, and Mr. Li was waiting for us there. It was raining that day, and I was soaked in rain. Mr. Li saw me and helped me take off my clothes. He took the coat with his own hands, and hung it up for me with his own hands, without the help of the waiter."
After the two parties completed the first advertising business, due to mutual trust, Li Ka-shing reduced his participation in advertising matters, and his assistants came forward to discuss the next sales advertisement, and told them "don't bother them too much".
When a person can feel his weight even if he just sits aside and nods and smiles, what he should pay attention to is not to turn his own strength into a pressure on others.Some really big people feel kind and warm, like a spring breeze, and everyone is proud to cooperate with them like stars holding the moon.People's hearts and wealth will naturally flow into a river.
For the general public, no matter their strength or status, they have nothing to be proud of, so they urgently need to show their outstanding side in order to gain a chance for development.As a show, it is natural to sing high-profile times.But it is worth noting that in real life, everyone will be in an advantageous position at a specific time or environment, for example, when we face a young, less experienced person, a latecomer in the workplace, the salary is more meager colleagues, in this case, it is low-key to sing.Only in this way can you express your sincerity, condense your feelings, and show your generosity.
It's not a bad thing to show our identity, it's just that we need to know when to show and when to restrain ourselves.
Dare to make a show, boldly show off your aura
In the traditional concept, people always like to regard "containment but not disclosure" as a kind of virtue. A person's advantages, achievements and talents can only be discovered by others.As for yourself, although you have made many achievements, you have profound knowledge and amazing talents, you can only say that you are "little talent".If anyone is too sharp, it is easy to attract criticism.People like those who are submissive and humble, and those who are brave enough to show their talents are not as popular as the "gentleman who is modest".
However, in today's era of fierce competition, blindly being a "modesty gentleman" may become a major disadvantage.To compete is to "compete" and "compete", that is, to dare to compete with others.In this case, why not be a little arrogant?A strong person needs some arrogance. Of course, the arrogance here does not mean domineering over others, but a temperament based on one's own capital, a gesture of affirmation of oneself.
Arrogance is a manifestation of pride, a direct understanding of oneself, and a symbol of self-confidence.Self-confidence can stimulate people's creativity.If anyone who wants to succeed in his career lacks self-confidence and arrogance, he will lack the motivation to create.
Arrogance always has capital.Arrogance without capital is frivolous and arrogant.As the saying goes, "Arrogant soldiers are bound to lose", that is to say, if you don't correctly assess the situation and situation of yourself and your opponent, you will lose the capital of arrogance.The arrogance with capital is a kind of self-confident arrogance.The greatest enemy of arrogance is vanity. Vanity is an attempt to use external things to build a high inner self-confidence, but arrogance is based on strong self-confidence.True arrogance in line with psychological science can not only accept the stimulation of various pressures, driving forces and challenges from the society, but also can always aim at the goal of one's pursuit and attack, and stimulate great comprehensive creativity.Although there are failures sometimes, failure is just a process of focusing, which can stimulate creativity and move to a higher level until success.
In our traditional consciousness, arrogance is often regarded as a derogatory term. In fact, without arrogance, there will be no catalyst to stimulate creativity, and success will not be possible.
Those who have nothing to be proud of will belittle the quality of "arrogance".Anyone who is confident and has the temperament of a successful person should face up to his temperament, because people with this temperament have the courage to express themselves, are good at fighting for more opportunities, and will unremittingly forge ahead towards their ideals.
Today's era is a fast-paced and high-efficiency era, and what is needed is a straightforward, decisive and courageous style.People can't stand that kind of hesitant and shy "humility", and don't want to listen to the kind of "self-deprecating words" of mother-in-law and "whispering".The "modesty" of pretentious posture no longer meets the needs and rhythm of society.In modern society, shrewd entrepreneurs recruit employees, and smart leaders choose subordinates, not by how thoughtful and courteous you are, but by how much you have learned.You should promote yourself realistically: what are your strengths, what are your talents, what do you want to do, and what can you do.Go straight and let others know you. In this way, it is easier for you to get opportunities.
The acceleration of social change has accelerated the pace of knowledge updating.In modern society, people's talents and energy are limited by time.Missed the opportunity, knowledge will be depreciated, energy will decline.If a person can't seize the opportunity in his golden age, boldly and proactively show his intelligence, but is always so-called modest, low-key, and hidden, then the opportunity will be delayed.Today, with the rapid increase in knowledge, even if you have a lot of knowledge, you can only maintain an advantage in a short period of time. Whether you can get a stage to display it in this short period of time will become the key to your success or failure.Modern society is a society full of talents, and there are many talents for the society to choose from.Since you are coy and shy, saying that you are not good at this or that, then, who is willing to leave other capable people behind and spend time investigating and understanding you?Moreover, since there is competition, others will not give in to you for opportunities, but will compete with you.Once you lose the chance of being selected, others will get there first, and you can only feel sorry for yourself.
Having the courage to express yourself is not what people often call "showing off".To be proactive and to fully display one's talents is to respect oneself and be responsible to society.Some insights, if you don't publicize them, others won't know about them.Some innovative insights that can promote social progress cannot be promoted if you do not promote them.This is not only a loss for individuals, but also a loss for society.
People only know that Bell invented the telephone, but they don't know that before Bell, someone invented this kind of device, but people at that time didn't understand the social significance of this invention, so they ignored it, and the inventor just stopped there. up.After Bell invented the telephone, his experience was no better than that person, but he stubbornly promoted his invention to people, and went to perform in many cities like an actor.When it really didn't work, he founded the "Bell Telephone Company" and finally promoted the telephone.
How could the telephone enter people's homes without Bell's "boasting"?It can be seen that the courage to perform is not as bad as people imagine, on the contrary, it is an indispensable quality for outstanding talents.
Those who have the courage to express themselves show their value by virtue of their real talents, real actions, and visible results, while those who brag about themselves can't show anything real, they just rely on lies and To deceive and deceive others.This kind of self-boasting can only be deceived for a while, and once the truth is exposed, people will cast aside it.
A person with a strong aura can have a deterrent effect on others. He must be a person with a strong heart, a certain social achievement, and a person who is generally recognized by everyone.Aura is a kind of state of mind. Appearance and props certainly have an effect, but in the end it depends on the heart.People with aura, others respect you, get close to you, and are attracted to you, so they dare not ignore or despise you at will.
(End of this chapter)
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