The psychology of the aura that makes your heart strong

Chapter 5 Mentality determines the aura, and the aura with a strong heart is also strong

Attitude determines aura, aura determines destiny
Why some people just have a good job, good relationships, good health, happy all day and live a high quality life, it seems that they are better than others, while many people are busy working hard But only to make ends meet?In fact, there is not much difference between people, but why some people can achieve success and overcome all difficulties to make achievements, while others can't?

Many psychologists have found that the secret that causes the difference between people lies in people's mentality.A philosopher said: "Your mentality is your real master." A great man said: "Either you control life, or life controls you. Your mentality determines who is the mount and who is the jockey."

Mentality is the foundation of the aura, the quality of the mentality determines the strength of the aura, and the strength of the aura is directly related to the fate of a person.

Many years ago, in a poor village in Fujian, there lived two brothers.They couldn't stand the poor environment, so they decided to leave their hometown and seek development overseas.The eldest brother was luckier and was sold to the wealthy San Francisco, while the younger brother was sold to the impoverished Philippines.

After 40 years, the brothers were lucky enough to reunite again.At this time, they are no longer what they used to be.The older brother became an overseas Chinese leader in San Francisco. He owns two restaurants, two laundries and a grocery store.

And what about the younger brother?He actually became a world-renowned banker, owning a considerable amount of forests, rubber plantations and banks in Southeast Asia.After decades of hard work, both brothers succeeded.But why is there such a big difference in the achievements of the two brothers in their careers?

When the brothers gather together, they can't help but talk about what happened since they parted.My brother said: "When we Chinese come to the society of the white people, if we don't have any special talents, we can only use our hands to cook for the white people and wash their clothes for them. We dare not have higher expectations."

Seeing his younger brother's success, the elder brother can't help but envy his younger brother's wealth.My younger brother said that when he first arrived in the Philippines, he could only do some low-level jobs, but he gradually found that some local people were stupid and lazy, so he started to do the business they gave up, and continued to acquire and expand the business. big.

The above is a true story, reflecting the struggle history of overseas Chinese.It tells us that it is not only the environment that affects our lives, the mentality controls the actions and thoughts of individuals, and at the same time, the mentality also determines a person's vision, career and achievements.

There are two old ladies who are 70 years old, one of them thinks that reaching this age can be regarded as the end of life, so he starts to prepare things for the funeral; the other thinks that what a person can do does not depend on age, but It's about having an idea.So, when she was 70 years old, she began to practice mountaineering, and several of the mountains she climbed were world famous.Later, she climbed Mount Fuji in Japan at the age of 95, breaking the record for the oldest person to climb this mountain.She is the famous Huda Cruz.

It is a miracle to start mountaineering at the age of 70, but miracles are created by people.A person who has a positive mind and likes to accept challenges and deal with troubles is half successful.The feat of Mrs. Huda Cruz is a testament to this.

A person's success depends on his attitude!The difference between successful people and losers is: successful people always use the most positive way of thinking, the most optimistic spirit and the most successful experience to dominate and control their lives; the losers are just the opposite, their lives are determined by the past. All kinds of failures and doubts lead to domination.

Some people always complain that their current miserable situation is caused by others.These people often say that they can't change their minds, but the truth is that our circumstances are not caused by our surroundings, but rather the kind of life we ​​have is entirely up to us.

Optimistic people have a detached and calm aura
Is optimism important to an aura?Perhaps the German Wilcox was right when he said: "When life is as light and flowing as a song, it is easy to smile; but the man who can smile when everything is not good, lives meaningfully." value."

Optimism does not cost money, but it can often help people make money.An American investor said: "Those whose stocks become a pile of waste paper overnight but can still keep smiling, I like them not only because they can see through the essence of stock market investment, but also because of their detached and calm attitude. field!" Optimistic people can see an opportunity in every difficulty, while negative people can only see the "danger" that makes them headaches in the face of even the best opportunities.The first sign of a successful man is his optimism.Optimism shows a person's heart. It is a noble symbol and represents the realm that a person can achieve when facing different situations.

The economic crisis that occurred in the United States in 2008 was no less than the terrifying nightmare in 1929. The stock market fell miserably. After experiencing the so-called Black Friday, the black week of the Asian stock market, when everyone was crying, only one person was crying. Hold your head up and smile, that is Warren Buffett, the stock god who has been crowned the richest man in the world. When the financial crisis was at its worst in 2008, the U.S. financial magazine "Forbes" announced the "Top 33 List of America's Richest People." Buffett's personal net assets increased by $80 billion in 15 days, and he regained the throne of the richest man. He broke Bill Gates It has maintained the record of the richest man for [-] years.

Smiling, being optimistic, and keeping a positive attitude toward tomorrow no matter how bad the current situation is, these are the secrets of Buffett's success.There is an air of optimism about him, and he can always find gold in the trash, as he did when he bought The Washington Post and decided to invest in Gillette razors.

Life is like a sailboat sailing in the sea, and the helmsman who controls the course and destiny of the sailboat is yourself.Some sailboats can ride the wind and waves and sail against the current, while others cannot withstand the test of the wind and waves, leaving the sea prematurely, or being swallowed mercilessly by the sea.

The reason why there is such a big difference is nothing else, but because the helmsman has a different attitude towards life.The former is dominated by optimism, and they don’t forget to smile even on the top of the waves; the latter are pessimistic believers, and even a little storm will make them tremble with fear.Whether a person walks in the face of difficulties or passively endures the hardships of life depends on his attitude towards life.Attitude determines destiny, attitude determines life.

Life is like a mirror, when you smile at it, it smiles at you, when you cry at it, it also shows a crying face.What kind of mentality you have is what kind of life you have.

The pessimists say: "When people are alive, there are problems and they have to suffer; if there are problems, they may fall into misfortune." Even a little bit of setbacks, they will feel all kinds of melancholy and pain, thinking that they are the most miserable people in the world people.As the British philosopher Russell said, "Unfortunate people always feel that they are unfortunate."A pessimist makes a room out of misfortune, pain, and sorrow, and then invites himself into it, and shouts to the outside world: "I am the most unfortunate person." Because they feel unfortunate, they lose their inner peace, As a result, pessimistic and negative emotions such as injustice, envy, jealousy, vanity, and low self-esteem arise as the times require.It is they themselves who have abandoned joy and happiness, and who have blinded themselves to see happiness and happiness.

Optimists say: "When people live, there is hope, and with hope, they can obtain happiness." They can taste the sweetness from ordinary life, so they are happy like a clear spring, nourishing their hearts all the time.

There is no distinction between pleasure and pain in anything itself. Pleasure and pain are our feelings about it and the characteristics we ascribe to it.The same thing, viewed from different angles, will have different feelings.Whether a person is happy or not does not depend on his situation, but on whether he has an optimistic heart.

For the same round of bright moon, for the tearful Liu Yong, it is: "Yang Liu'an, the dawn wind and the waning moon, this past year, it should be a good day and beautiful scenery." I hope that people will last forever and share the beauty of the moon." The same round of bright moon is different in the eyes of people with different mentalities, and so is life.

God will not give us happiness or pain, it will only give us the seasoning of life, as for what kind of life it will bring out, it can only be in ourselves.You can choose a happy angle to look at it, or you can choose a painful angle, just like cooking, you can make it bitter or sweet.Therefore, whether your life is full of laughter or full of sorrow, whether you are overcoming obstacles and going forward courageously, or whether you are timid and stagnant, this is not about others, it is all about yourself!

Adversity is a good school for forging aura

Some people say that when a person's aura is strong, his energy is great, and he can easily resolve difficulties when he encounters them.In fact, difficulties are difficulties, and have nothing to do with the strength of the aura.The difference is that people with weak aura regard difficulties as disasters and do everything possible to avoid them; people with strong aura regard difficulties as opportunities and face up to them to solve them.

There is such a story in ancient Greek mythology, which is very intriguing.

Sisyphus, the god of heaven, was punished by Zeus, the god of the universe, for breaking the law in heaven, and was sent down to the world to suffer.Zeus punished him by pushing a stone up the hill.Every day, Sisyphus pushed the stone to the top of the mountain with great effort, and then when he went home to rest, the stone would automatically roll down again.So Sisyphus pushed the stone up the hill again.Thus, Sisyphus had to suffer in never-ending failure.Every time Sisyphus pushed a stone up a hill, the other gods beat him, telling him he couldn't succeed.But Sisyphus refused to accept his fate, thinking that it was his responsibility to push the stone up the mountain. As long as he pushed the stone to the top of the mountain, the responsibility would be fulfilled. As for whether the stone will roll down, that is not his business.

Therefore, when Sisyphus was trying to push the stone up the mountain, his heart was very peaceful, because he comforted himself: there are still stones to push tomorrow, and there is hope for tomorrow.

Zeus had no choice but to let Sisyphus go back to heaven.

For a person who regards difficulties as opportunities, regards the torment of fate as the test of life, and faces today's suffering and hopes for tomorrow's sweetness, no difficulty will be too difficult for such a person.

A person's life can never be smooth sailing. There are both the joy of success and endless troubles;When the tide of suffering hits us, we can only hope to see the dawn of success if we fight unremittingly against our fate.

The ancients said: "Heaven will send a great mission to the people of Sri Lanka, and they must first suffer from their minds and wills, exhaust their muscles and bones, starve their bodies and skins, empty their bodies, and disturb their actions. Therefore, the heart and tolerance have benefited what they can't do. "Suffering is the best school for exercising one's will.Fight against suffering, it will stimulate your infinite potential, exercise your courage and sharpen your will.Perhaps, you will feel pain and helplessness when you are in adversity, but after you go through the adversity, you will feel more deeply: it is that affliction that gives you the maturity of personality and gives you the strength to face everything. The ability to be fearless, and the mentality to face adversity that goes hand in hand with this ability.

Suffering will turn into a gift in front of unyielding people. This precious gift will become the oasis that nourishes your life, so that you will not be easily knocked down at any moment in your life!
Friends, you must have seen a waterfall!The beautiful waterfall takes brave steps, never flinching in front of the cliff, and the collision with the cliff creates a spectacle.Who can say that this is not the beauty of life?
Going with the flow is the best way to live
The human aura is very interesting.For example, when you are walking on the street, you see two people of the same age walking towards you from a distance. They are both wearing T-shirts and jeans, but one is a student and the other is a white-collar worker. Let you distinguish who is a student and who is a white-collar worker. I believe that more than [-]% of people will not guess wrong.You may not be able to tell one, two, three, but you can feel that there are subtle differences between them. If you communicate with them again, you can identify them [-]%.The difference between the two people lies in the aura.

People will feel very uncomfortable in a kind of aura for a long time, and want to get out of this kind of aura.For example, senior college students try to package themselves as mature and stable, hoping to adapt to society as soon as possible.Girls learn to make up, wear high heels, and learn to use all possible means to package themselves, while boys use well-fitting suits, good watches, and learn to play around in social situations to package themselves.But from the perspective of people with social experience, the harder they try to hide their student aura, the more immature they appear.After they entered the workplace, they missed the days of their school days again. They felt that the passage of time and the polishing of the workplace made people feel that time was worrying. When people say that I look younger than 20 years old, I will be very happy.But no matter how they change their appearance, their aura will not change. They have become a professional person who can't help themselves.

Instead of going back and forth like this, why not try to go with the flow?
You must be familiar with a story in "Huainanzi":
There was an old man who lived by the Great Wall and raised a group of horses. One of the horses suddenly disappeared. His family members were very sad, and his neighbors came to comfort him, but he did not feel sad at all. Said: "How do you know that this is not a good thing?" Everyone thought in astonishment that the old man was talking nonsense because of the loss of his horse, so they laughed it off.

But after a while, when everyone gradually forgot about it, the lost horse of the old man's family came back by itself, and brought back a beautiful horse. The family couldn't help but the neighbors were amazed They were very envious and came to congratulate them one after another.But the old man didn't feel happy at all, but said to everyone worriedly: "Oh, who knows if this will be a bad thing?" Everyone laughed when they heard it, thinking that the old man was crazy about it.

Sure enough, as the old man expected, the old man's son broke his leg while riding the horse.The family members were very sad, and the neighbors also came to visit, only the old man looked relaxed and seemed a little proud, everyone was very puzzled, asked him why, the old man smiled and replied: "How do you know it's not a good thing?" What?" Everyone didn't understand.

Not long after, the war broke out, and all young and middle-aged men were forcibly conscripted into the army, and the war was quite cruel. Nine out of ten villagers who went to serve in the army died in the war.The old man's son was unable to join the army because of his lameness, so he survived.

This story is the story of "It's a blessing in disguise."The old man's brilliance lies in his understanding of the truth that "misfortunes depend on blessings, and blessings depend on misfortunes". He can think about everything, see through it, and let nature take its course, and letting nature take its course is a very practical way. philosophy of life.

A small caterpillar was lying on a leaf, observing everything around with novel eyes: all kinds of insects were singing and dancing, flying and running, singing and dancing, full of vitality everywhere.Only he, the poor little caterpillar, was left alone, unable to run or fly.

It took a lot of effort for the little caterpillar to move a little bit.As it lumbered awkwardly from leaf to leaf, it felt as if it had traveled the world.

Nevertheless, it is not pessimistic and disappointed, because it understands that everyone has their own things to do.It, a tiny caterpillar, should learn to spit slender silver threads and weave a strong cocoon for itself.

The little caterpillar didn't hesitate for a moment, worked hard, and finally wrapped itself in a warm cocoon from head to toe.

"What will happen in the future?" the little caterpillar, who was isolated from the world, asked himself.

"Everything will develop according to its own laws." The little caterpillar heard a voice from the bottom of his heart reply, "Be patient, you will understand later."

When the time came, it woke up, but it was no longer the clumsy little caterpillar it used to be. It deftly broke free from the cocoon, and was surprised to find that a pair of light wings had grown out of itself, covered with colorful patterns.It flapped its wings happily, feeling like a ball of fluff floating up from the leaves.It flew and flew, and gradually disappeared into the blue mist.

Let nature take its course, everything will develop according to its own laws.Do what you should do well, don't be pessimistic or disappointed, don't envy anyone, and treat your career and your life with a peaceful mind.It's the best way to do it - it's both rewarding and exciting.

Going with the flow is the best way to live, don't complain, don't sigh, don't fall, don't be arrogant when you win, and don't be discouraged when you lose, just go forward and walk your own path.There is a Chinese saying that goes, "People plan things, but Heaven makes them happen." This kind of "Going to make things happen" is a kind of letting nature take its course.As long as you work hard and have a clear conscience, you don't expect too much, and you won't be disappointed in everything.

Going with the flow is of course not letting you go with the flow, but to figure out your own life direction and go steadily towards the goal, stick to normal study and life, and do what you should do.

Going with the flow is not fatalism, but active exploration under the premise of obeying the laws of nature; going with the flow is not doing nothing, but doing something or not doing something.

Life is like a sailing ship sailing in the sea. It is inevitable to encounter storms. Only by letting nature take its course and learning to adapt can we overcome difficulties.In real life, we should learn to let nature take its course and learn what songs to sing on what mountain.

A positive attitude attracts more energy
Everyone's aura creates attraction, a positive aura generates positive energy and attracts more positive energy; a negative aura generates negative energy and attracts more negative energy.

Many people spend their days waiting for things to happen, or for others to care about them, but those who end up getting a good chance are the ones who are proactive.They are proactive, follow the correct thinking, do what they need to do, and take the initiative to get things done.

The word “proactive” means more than just taking proactive action, it has a deeper meaning – as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives.

Being proactive is part of human nature, and while your proactive spirit may be dormant at times, it exists within everyone.The difference between those who take the initiative and those who do not is really like the difference between night and day.

Being proactive is also reflected in loving others and the world around you. "Love" is a verb. Passive people regard it as an emotion, but active people make "love" an act.

When Carnegie decided to invest in the steel industry, this desire flashed in his mind from time to time and turned it into the driving force of his life.Then he sought the cooperation of a friend, who was moved by Carnegie's persistence and contributed his own strength.With the combined efforts of these two, they persuaded two others to join them.These four people eventually became the core figures of the Carnegie Kingdom. They formed a think tank. The four of them raised the funds needed to achieve their goals, and each of them became a huge millionaire in the end.

But the key to the success of these four people is not just "hard work", you may also find that there are people who work as hard as you, or even harder than you, but do not succeed.

Great achievements come from the understanding and application of positive attitude.No matter what you do, your state of mind will give you a certain strength.Having a positive attitude means that your actions and thoughts are contributing to the achievement of your goals; having a negative attitude means that your actions and thoughts are constantly canceling out your efforts.

One way we can become more aware of how proactive we are is by looking at where we focus our time and energy.Inside each of us there are many worries, worries about our health, our love affairs, our children, problems at work, our national debt, nuclear war.We can use this to create a "circle of worry."

When we look at those things in our "worry circle", some things are obviously out of our control, while others, we can do something about it.We can identify those worries in the latter part of things and place them in smaller "circles of influence."

Proactive people focus their efforts on a "circle of influence."They work hard on what they can do, they are full of positive energy, and gradually expand and enlarge, causing their "circle of influence" to increase.In addition, passive people focus their efforts in a "circle of worry," where they focus on the shortcomings of others, problems in their surroundings, and circumstances beyond their control, which leads them to adopt an attitude of blame and blame , Speak passive language, produce the emotion of being deceived and victimized.

Generally speaking, the problems we encounter do not go beyond the following three areas.

(1) Directly controllable (issues involving our own behavior).

(2) Can be indirectly controlled (problems involving the behavior of others).

(3) Uncontrollable (problems over which we have no control, such as our past or reality determined by circumstances).

A proactive approach would be to first address all three of these issues within our current "sphere of influence".Problems within our direct control can be solved by changing our habits, and they are clearly within our "sphere of influence."

In our daily life and work, we should use our proactive mental strength to deal with the pressures of life.Examples include making a promise and keeping it, handling a traffic jam calmly, and being polite to an irate customer or angry friend.

You can stick to being proactive for a period of time, just try it out and see what happens, make small commitments and keep them, try to solve the problem instead of making yourself a part of it.

Try it in your marriage, your family, your work, don't argue for other people's faults, don't argue for yourself.As soon as you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it.Don't get into the habit of blaming others and blaming others.Work on the things you can control and work on yourself.

Look at the faults of others not with condemnation but with sympathy.The question is not what other people did not do or what other people should do, but how you choose to respond to the situation you encounter, what you should do.

Those who exercise their right to basic liberty day in and day out will gradually expand their freedom, and those who do not exercise their right to basic liberty will find that freedom gradually disappearing until they actually "live passively"— Act according to the will of parents, colleagues and groups.

We are responsible for the results we achieve, for our own well-being, and for most of our environment.

A person who has a sense of responsibility for life will not be inactive.

A person with a strong aura can dominate himself

People who can dominate themselves are usually strong-willed people.The will trains a person, and it controls a person, and to a large extent determines the size, strength, and positive or negative of a person's aura.If a person lacks willpower, even if a person is well versed in astronomy and geography, it may not help his career.He will be easily defeated, lost at the crossroads, and given up when he needs to persist most.To be our own master, we must strengthen our willpower, so that we can not only improve our aura, but also gain wealth and happiness in life.

You have known yourself and deeply understood yourself, you should like yourself, accept everything about yourself, and present your best side.You are you, there will be no second you in the world.As long as you can honestly say, "This is who I am," that's good enough.Then master yourself, play yourself well, and be your own master.

"Be your own master!" This is a new trend.In Western society, being one's own master is already the paramount value.

Many people take the initiative to improve their environment without thinking of improving themselves, so their environment remains unchanged.Those who have the courage to accept the test of fate are always the masters of their own thoughts and actions, so as to achieve the goals in their hearts. This principle is universal.As Goethe said: "Whoever wants to play with life will accomplish nothing, and whoever cannot dominate himself will always be a slave."

Some people in life can't control themselves.Some people give themselves to money and become slaves of money; some people become captives of power for the sake of power; .

To be your own master, you cannot be a slave to money or a prisoner of power.You must not lose yourself and maintain your true colors in the face of all kinds of temptations, otherwise you will lose yourself.Those who are too keen on pursuing external things may finally get what they want, but they will lose the most important thing, which is themselves.

We have the right to decide what to do in life, and we don't need others to make decisions for us, let alone let others control our will and turn ourselves into puppets.In fact, only you know yourself best. Others are not necessarily better than you, nor will you know your own strength better than yourself. Only your own decision is the best.From now on, be your own master and don't let others control you.

When Darwin decided to abandon medicine and pursue literature, he was severely reprimanded by his father, saying that he only knew how to hunt and catch mice all day long, and did not do his job.He wrote in his autobiography: "All the teachers and elders said that my qualifications are mediocre, and I have nothing to do with intelligence." By.

We should be the masters of our destiny and not let our destiny dictate us.When we inevitably encounter setbacks, difficulties and illnesses in our lives, if we are controlled by these stumbling blocks of life and make our days only painful but not happy, then we will lose ourselves.The real master of destiny is able to overcome all difficulties and will not succumb to fate.People like Leonardo da Vinci, Mozart, Van Gogh, etc., are our role models. They were not treated fairly by fate during their lifetime, but they did not succumb to fate, did not bow to fate, they challenged fate, and finally Defeat it, become your own master, become the master of destiny.

The great Norwegian playwright Ibsen has a famous saying: "What is the first duty of man? The answer is simple: to be oneself." Only in this way can you truly be your own master.

Be your own master!
Artistic temperament is an aesthetic attitude that transcends reality.In real life, most people's life attitude is utilitarian and practical, but people with artistic sense can go beyond those real utilitarianism, look at things completely from an aesthetic point of view, and conduct research on the inner spirit and power of things. Aesthetics inspire inner joy and emotional vibration.What an artistic person is most passionate about is creative innovation and imaginative exploration of life.People with an artistic temperament can not only deeply experience their own lives, but also experience the feelings of others through art. Their lives are full and their emotions are rich.

(End of this chapter)