The psychology of the aura that makes your heart strong

Chapter 9 I am in charge of my aura, move with my heart, and radiate my inner self

Three high aura body postures
Body posture plays an important role in shaping a person's overall image.A person's body posture plays an equally important role with a person's appearance, and together they show a person's temperament and demeanor.If you "stand without standing", "sitting without sitting", and "walking without walking", no matter how beautiful your appearance is, it will be greatly reduced.Appearance is born, but body posture can be changed to the ideal posture through acquired training.

1. Sitting
Sitting posture language is a language that conveys information through various sitting postures.Sitting postures include sitting and sitting postures.Take your seat lightly and slowly, walk to the seat and turn around, sit down gently and steadily without making a sound.After sitting down, keep your upper body straight, keep your head upright, and look straight ahead or the person you are talking to.The back of the back is slightly against the back of the chair. On formal occasions, or when there are venerables present, the seat should not be full. Put the palms of your hands down on top of your legs. The legs are naturally bent, the calves are basically perpendicular to the ground, and the feet are flat. Landing on the ground, the distance between the knees, it is advisable for men to loosen one or two punches, and it is better for women not to loosen.In informal occasions, it is allowed to stack or tilt your legs after sitting down. When crossing, try to keep them close together above the knees.

No matter what kind of sitting position, you should naturally relax and smile.In social situations, do not lean your head up on the back of the seat or look down at the ground; do not lean your body forward or backward, or tilt to one side; do not make redundant movements with your hands; do not spread your legs too far apart, and do not put your The calf rests on the thigh, let alone stretch the legs straight, or shake them repeatedly.These are signs of lack of breeding and arrogance.

2. Standing
Standing posture language is a language that conveys information through standing posture.A person's state can be seen from a person's standing posture.Many people like to use one leg as a support when they stand, and some people like to lean on something. These are not standing postures used in formal occasions, which will make people feel loose and impolite.We must pay attention to standing upright, looking at the eye level, showing joy and confidence.

Standing is one of the most basic behaviors in people's life, work and communication.The correct standing posture is to stand upright, stable, natural and kind.The upper body is upright, the head is upright and the eyes are flat, the face is smiling, the lower jaw is slightly retracted, the shoulders are flat and the chest is straight, the waist is straight and the abdomen is retracted, the arms are naturally drooping, the legs are close to each other and upright, the feet are close together, and the toes are in a "V" shape.Women can keep their feet together and feel a slight contraction in their muscles.If you stand for too long, you can alternately take a step back with your left or right foot, but your upper body must still be straight, your feet should not be stretched too far, your legs should not be too far apart, and your changes should not be too frequent.When standing, if the whole body is not straight enough, if the feet are spread too far, or if the feet move randomly, it will be considered indecent or impolite.

3. Stance
Gait or walking posture is the language that conveys information through walking gait.Different from sitting posture language and standing posture language, step posture language is dynamic, so it should be put into dynamic study.

Below we focus on the types of gait.The first is the stable and self-satisfied type.When walking, walk steadily, hold your head high, look up and stride, the pace is slow and the stride is large.The meaning of this gait is "happy, self-satisfied, and proud."The second is the relaxed type.When walking, the mood is relaxed, the pace is moderate, the pace is not fast or slow, the upper body is upright, the eyes are looking straight, and the hands are swinging naturally.The meaning of this gait is "comfortably relaxed, relatively calm".The third type is the solemn etiquette type.When walking, the upper body should be straight, the steps should be vigorous, the bend of the knees should be small, the range and speed of the steps should be moderate, the steps and hand movements should have a strong sense of rhythm, and the eyes should be straight ahead.The meaning of this gait is "serious, warm and polite".

Show your momentum with gestures

People's gestures are really ever-changing, and each gesture can convey a lot of information.Using gestures to express one's own meaning and emotion requires mastering the correct essentials.

Gestures are an auxiliary language.Correct understanding of gestures is very important to play the role of gestures.

1. Correctly use gestures to express feelings

In social interaction, we should be good at using body language and expressing feelings with our hands.For example, if you spread your hands naturally, it means that you are relaxed, honest and unscrupulous; if you clenched your fists, it means that you are furious or ready to fight to the end; Expressing surprise; supporting the chin with hands in the shape of an "eight" is a sign of contemplation and deep calculation; scratching the back of the head and scratching the earlobe with hands indicates a little shyness or bewilderment; moving hands aimlessly indicates nervousness , the emotions are difficult to control; unconsciously touching the mouth and rubbing the eyes, it means that nine out of ten are not telling the truth; rubbing hands together, if it is not cold, it is expressing a kind of expectation; It shows that you are very immature psychologically and have not been deeply involved in the world; your fingertips are facing each other and resting on your chest or chin, which is a manifestation of self-confidence; trust.

2. Several gestures in daily communication
(1) Arms swinging sideways.This gesture is used when the business is busy or there are many guests.Raise both hands from the front of the body over the abdomen, with the palms of both hands facing up, overlapping the hands, slightly bending the elbows, swinging them to the sides, leaning the upper body slightly forward, adding polite words, such as "ladies and gentlemen, please come inside" and so on.

(2) Straight arm type.This gesture is used to point in a distant direction.Arms cross the waist line, do not go higher than the waist line, body sideways to the guest, eyes should look at the direction pointed by the hand or about 10 cm in front of the guest's feet, and at the same time add polite words, such as "Hello, please come with me ", "inside please", "here please" and so on.

(3) Oblique pendulum type.This gesture is also known as the slanting of both hands, and is generally used to lead guests to sit on their seats.When the chair is on the left of the leader, the left hand is in front and the right hand is behind, and the palms of both hands are placed upwards with the elbows as the axis towards the chair, the elbows are slightly bent, the left elbow is less than the right elbow, and the upper body is slightly forward , Smiling and said "please sit down".

(4) Horizontal pendulum type.This gesture is used to point the closer direction.The arm of one hand is naturally vertical, with the elbow as the axis. The forearm should be bent when swinging gently to the side, forming an angle of about 45 degrees with the waist. The other hand hangs down or is behind the body, smiling , and at the same time add polite words, such as "please", "please come in" and so on.

(5) Vertical swing with both arms.This is an informative gesture.When facing a large number of guests and the scene is grand, and it is necessary to send a certain message to all the guests, the "double arm vertical swing" can be adopted so that all the guests can see it.The specific method is: with the fingers of both hands facing each other, lift from the front of the abdomen to the height of the head, and then separate and draw down to the abdomen from both sides.

3. Meanings of several common gestures in different countries

Clarify the special meaning of sign language in different countries and regions, which is helpful for the smooth development of social activities.

(1) The meaning of raising the index finger.Make a fist with your left or right hand and straighten your index finger, which means the number "1" in most countries in the world, "ask for questions" in France, "most important" in Singapore, and "one more beer, please" in Australia.

(2) The meaning of the "V" gesture.The index finger and middle finger are extended in a "V" shape, and the thumb is bent and pressed on the ring finger and little finger. This action represents the number "2" in most parts of the world.It is said that it was invented by British Prime Minister Winston Churchill during the Second World War.However, when expressing victory, the palm must face outward. If the palm faces inward, it means demeaning and insulting others.In Greece, when making this gesture, even if the palms are outward, such as arms stretched out, it is considered disrespectful to others.

(3) The meaning of the thumbs up gesture.In our country, the right or left hand makes a fist and puts a thumb up, which means "good", "great", etc., which means appreciation and praise; in Italy, the number "1" is expressed when the thumb is stretched out; in Greece, the thumb is extended It means "enough", and stretching the thumb down means "disgusting" and "bad guy"; It is to indicate the direction of the driver to take the car.

(4) The meaning of the "OK" gesture.The thumb and index finger form a circle, and the remaining three fingers are straight or slightly bent.In our country and some other parts of the world, the gesture means the number "0" or "3" when stretching out the hand to show the number; in the United States and the United Kingdom, it means approval, great; in France, it means the number "0" or no; in Thailand, it means no problem, Go ahead; money in Japan, Myanmar, Korea; right, good in India; fool in Tunisia; insult a man, seduce a woman in Brazil.

Eyes are pearls inlaid in the aura

Eyes are the window to the soul, and eyes are one of the important media for people to communicate emotions.Even if he meets people in disguise again, his eyes can't fool everyone.Therefore, don't forget the magical function of eyes and gaze in social interaction.

In interpersonal communication, the role of eyes is that they can reflect a person's emotions such as happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy, as well as his thinking activities.When you are happy, you will "smile", when you are sad, you will "frown", when you are proud, you will "beautify", when you are tempted, you will "eyebrow", when you are surprised, you will be "jaw-jawed", and so on, and so on.

It can be seen that human eyes can convey the most subtle emotions and many information that cannot be accurately expressed by language and gestures.Through the eyes, one can usually understand a person's inner world.

Mencius said that to judge whether a person's character is upright or not, it depends on his "eyes".The eyes of the upright are bright and calm, while the eyes of the unrighteous are timid and gloomy.Zeng Guofan also said that if a person's eyes are flickering, this person must not be a kind person.

Yes, if a person wants to establish a good image in social life, his eyes should be calm, kind, kind, and charming.Especially when talking with others, the eyes should be fixed on each other, and avoid avoiding and evasive.During the entire conversation, the eyes should not leave the other party, and the eyes should be focused, gentle and enthusiastic.On the contrary, if his eyes are evasive and vacillating when he is talking to you, then you will feel very uncomfortable in your heart, and you definitely don't want to have such a conversation for a second.

Eye contact is an expression language that conveys information through eye contact in social interaction.People have historically appreciated the enormous influence the eyes have on behavior.The following points should draw your attention:

Don't squint at each other, it's a sign of contempt and disrespect.

Don't focus on a certain part of the other person's face, it will make the other person feel a huge pressure, especially the opposite sex.

Don't stare blankly, it will make people feel that you are dull and inattentive.

Don't squint at people, it will make people have sexual associations, especially for the opposite sex from the west.

Don't always confront each other's eyes, that means fierce confrontation and confrontation with each other.

The most popular eyes in social occasions should be intelligent, sincere, bright, calm, friendly, calm, focused, and firm eyes. The taboo eyes in social occasions are provocative, hateful, frivolous, trivial, contemptuous, treacherous, angry, fierce, Gloomy, wandering, blank eyes.

In short, a pair of sincere and enthusiastic eyes can narrow the psychological distance between the two parties.Eyes can tell people's innermost thoughts. Eyes full of kindness are not necessarily a pair of beautiful big eyes, but as long as they are sincere, they can also win people's favor and make people unforgettable for a lifetime.While strengthening our inner self-cultivation, we should also learn to use our eyes to express our unique temperament and show our unique charm.

There is a lot of weather on the usual nose
Although the movement of the nose is slight, it can also reflect people's psychological changes, that is to say, the nose also has an "expression".In a conversation, when a person's nose is slightly swollen, it usually expresses satisfaction or dissatisfaction, or emotional suppression.When beads of sweat emerge from the nose, it means that you are anxious or nervous.The nostrils are turned towards the other party, which shows contempt for the other party.A person with a strong nose has a strong personality and will definitely do what he decides.Rubbing his nose and thinking, it means that he is trying to figure out a way, hoping to find an expedient solution to the immediate problem.

A scholar who studies body language, in order to clarify the "expression" of the nose, made a trip to observe the "nose language".He watched at the station, watched at the pier, watched at the airport.He traveled for a week, observed for a week, and came to two conclusions:

First, the journey is the most expressive area of ​​body language.Because people from various regions, ages, genders, and personalities gather together, and they are all strangers, there is little verbal communication, but there are many psychological activities, so a lot of mentality is revealed in body language."The journey is a laboratory for body language," he said.

Second, the human nose can move.The nose is the organ of silent speech.According to his observation, when there is a peculiar smell or fragrance stimulation, the nostrils have obvious constriction, and in severe cases, the whole nasal body vibrates slightly, followed by a "sneezing" phenomenon.He believes that these "actions" are all conveying information.In addition, according to his observation, anyone with a high nose bridge has a certain sense of superiority, showing an arrogant attitude of "straightening the bridge of the nose".On the road, he said, it was harder to deal with people with such "high noses" than with people with low nose bridges.

According to the clinical experience of a Japanese plastic surgeon: "Once someone has undergone rhinoplasty, those introverted people in the past will often turn into stubborn people."

In a novel, there is a description about the movement of the nose.The male protagonist in the book sees a beautiful lady, in order to show his unique smoking method, he blows a smoke ring into the air, and then the smoke ring floats towards the lady.The lady didn't say anything, she just covered her nose with her hand.The actor asked, "Do you hate the smell of cigarettes?" The lady didn't answer him, but continued to hold her nose.

In fact, the body language of covering her nose with her hand had already expressed her disgust. Unfortunately, the smoker didn't see it, but instead asked a question that shouldn't be asked.Doing so will naturally hit a snag.

In addition, some research materials advocate that the action of pinching the nose is classified as the body language of the nose, not the body language of the hands.Furthermore, if someone looks up and "sees" people with their nostrils instead of their eyes, it is the same as covering their nose with their hands, and it is to express disgust.

During your travels, if you encounter people with these postures, deal with them as little as possible.For example: when asking someone to help with something, if the other person touches his nose with his hands, or "looks" at you with his nostrils, it should be considered that he is unlikely to accept the request, or he refuses it. express.

Therefore, when you have to talk to someone you hate, if you want to end the unnecessary topic as soon as possible, you might as well touch your nose one after another.

Sometimes the devil is in the details
Behavior is closely related to demeanor. Only by being civilized can you be polite and considerate and show your demeanor.

In the process of interacting with people, especially when talking with people, the following uncivilized behaviors should be avoided.

1. Head over head
It is uncivilized behavior to cock your head subconsciously during a conversation.This kind of unnatural action is not hygienic, but also shows that you are too cramped and stage-frightened. It can cause others to look down on you, thinking that you lack social experience, are not polite, and are not good at talking.

2. Shaking legs and feet
Shaking your legs and feet may relieve your nervousness, but it's a very uncivilized behavior, and it will make people think that you are a person who lacks self-confidence.Moreover, shaking the legs and feet will also cause the tables and chairs to shake together, which is disgusting.

3. Picking nose and rubbing eyes
In social situations, picking your nose and rubbing your eyes is uncivilized behavior. Not only does it easily give people a negative sensory stimulus, but it can also make people feel that you are arrogant, careless, and not polite.

4. Improper distance
When interacting with people, you should also pay attention to the distance from each other.It is impolite to be too close or too far away.If the distance is too far, the interlocutor will mistakenly think that you are unwilling to get close to him, and you will hate him; hate.If the other party is of the opposite sex, it will also make it wary, and even be misunderstood by others.

So, what is the appropriate distance to keep when talking with people?This depends on different situations.Generally speaking, people's conversation forms can be roughly divided into three types: intimate, communicative, and open.The form of conversation is different, and the distance to be kept is also different.

(1) Intimate conversation.Intimate conversation is a form of conversation between intimates, who may be loved ones or lovers in love.Both sides of the conversation are quite casual, and some of the content of the conversation is even private that cannot be disclosed to others.Therefore, the voice of the conversation is generally very small, and the scope is limited to the interlocutors, and it is a pure whisper.The distance of conversation in this form is entirely in the hands of the interlocutor.

(2) Communicative conversation.An exchange conversation is a form of conversation between two people, and the object of the conversation is unique, which may be your colleagues, superiors, guests, negotiating opponents, or business partners.Most of this form of conversation has a definite theme, and the chatter needs to hear the content of the other party's conversation clearly and respond at any time.The suitable distance for this form of conversation is beyond 1 meter and within 3 meters.Such a distance can not only exchange information normally, but also make the other party feel a kind atmosphere, while maintaining a certain social distance.

(3) Open conversation.Open conversation is a form in which one person talks to multiple people at the same time. The object of the conversation is random and uncertain. It can be a high-spirited talk on a certain issue, or a casual chat between the chatters.The content of the conversation is not confidential, and the voice should be heard by those present.Because this is an impromptu conversation, the participants do not care too much about the distance, as long as it does not affect the normal exchange of information.

5. Posture
The chicness of a man is not about posturing and putting on airs, but about being natural and generous in communication, talking and laughing freely.In formal social occasions, the role of the man as the host is very important, and he is often the key to the success or failure of social activities.He has to warmly receive every visitor, especially to take the initiative to greet the female guests, talk to them, introduce them to everyone, and sometimes actively and politely invite them to dances and other activities.For visiting elders, the male host should stand up to welcome them and help them to sit down.For other visitors, they should shake hands and greet each other when they meet, and say goodbye politely when they part.

If your aura is confident and calm, the aura you exude will be casual and natural, making people relaxed; but if you are reserved and shy, people will feel coy.It can be said that a smile is the business card of the aura, so when you are happy, you need to open your mouth, laugh out loud, and share the joy with everyone.But sometimes you have to hide your smile deep inside.This is an important learning, depending on the occasion.In interpersonal communication, some smiles need to be contagious, which not only touches oneself, but also infects others, while others can only smile knowingly.

(End of this chapter)