From the age of 20, began to change the life

Chapter 2 Coke VS Milk—Choose for Happiness
Some people say that people cannot change their origin, because it is born, but we can change our destiny, because our destiny is in our own hands.Indeed, there are many ways to change destiny, but for women, the simplest and most direct way to change destiny is "marriage" and "love".

"Marriage" and "love" are completely two concepts. If you are a smart woman, you should consider more from a realistic point of view when choosing a marriage partner, and don't expect yourself to be the heroine in a fairy tale.Farewell to the era of "leftover women"

Marry the one who loves me, or the one I love
Love is an indispensable ingredient in married life.

Lucky people will meet someone they like as long as they fall in love for the first time, and if it goes well, they may even enter the palace of marriage.But most people are not so lucky, and you may meet a few in a row that are not suitable for marriage. At this time, you may complain about the unfairness of fate, but this cannot change the reality.In the vast sea of ​​people, the most suitable person you find may be a man who loves you more than you love him.

If you pass by the person you love, then it’s okay to choose someone who loves you. Maybe you didn’t forget the original one in your first married life, but you’re smart enough to learn to forget and know what you should cherish now. Take care of the fate you can control, and cherish the man in front of you who loves you.

Life is like this, if there is a loss, there is a gain.Lost the person you love the most, but God gives you the person who loves you the most, and spending your life with such a person is also a kind of happiness.

When memories have become the past, you have to take a long-term view. In married life, you can love for love, even if there is only "rare" love at first, but it will increase as long as you work hard. I believe that love needs hard work to cultivate.A happy marriage does not necessarily mean getting along with the one you love, but spending your life with the one you love the most is also a kind of happiness.

In fact, a happy marriage is very simple, as long as one person gives sincerely, regardless of gains and losses, and strives to create his own warm little family.The same is true of love, as long as two people support each other, they will eventually be happy.You may not be the happiest person compared with others, but after a few decades, you and your children may be the happiest people.

Whether you're married to someone you love or someone who loves you, once you're married, you need love to keep it going.A happy married life is inseparable from love. Maybe he treats you well, and you haven’t noticed it yet, but one day you will be moved by his love. The feelings and love that are born in this way cannot be completely distinguished, so don’t do anything. Taking yourself as the standard, it is also a correct choice for you to marry someone who loves you, rather than an unhappy marriage.But the premise is that you can guarantee that he will love you enough, and you will slowly "learn" to love him.

Be brave to pursue someone who is worthy of your love
I often hear this kind of sigh: a man with talent and good looks is married; Will you sit and "wait" for it to happen?This is not a wise idea, why not "shoot" yourself generously to find a true love.Find this potential stock and make it popular all the way, so that you can give him the rest of your life!
This is an era of fierce competition, everything needs to be fought for by oneself, and choosing a husband is no exception.But the premise is that you have to choose a person worthy of your love. He may not meet the standard of "pure gold" now, but you have to believe in your own vision, he will be the best, so once you make up your mind, you must shot.

There are different standards for a man worthy of your love. The selection criteria are nothing more than appearance, education, salary, and character... In fact, there is no need to be so harsh at all, and everything must be available.No tall physique, but broad shoulders are enough; no high education, but a small career achievement is also fine.In short, you have to be optimistic about the target and shoot in time to prevent others from getting there first.

Here are two basic points for you. If your sweetheart meets these requirements, you can definitely "make a move when it's time to make a move".If he is short by three points, he must make up for it by seven points long, and it must be a high-quality stock that rises every year; his basic conditions must be suitable for you, and you must look at the problem from a developmental perspective, so before you make a move Be sure to be steady, accurate, and ruthless. This is a long-term investment, and changing people midway will cause you heavy losses.

Adjust your mentality, be positive but not too eager, and establish your own image is also a sign of respect for others.While fighting for love, don't forget the skills, don't let the other party see a utilitarian face, that will scare the man away!
Gone are the days when a bird is dependent on someone. If he is worthy of your liking, why not take the initiative?First ask him to do a small favor, and then ask him to have dinner as a thank you. Seize the opportunity at any time, take the initiative, and design a gentle "trap". After he falls into your gentle net, you can "do whatever you want." "Yes!

Don't be too reserved, reservedness will make happiness pass you by, but at the beginning of the pursuit, the attitude should be positive, and the behavior should not be too exaggerated.From eye contact to thoughtful caress, let him know that you love him, he is your "Mr.Right".Once successful, you will be a role model that your sisters will envy.

Choosing a man is choosing a life

Most unmarried women will imagine such a scene: at a romantic party, you see him handsome and unrestrained for the first time, and the moment you make eye contact, you decide that you will never marry him in this life, and then there will be a voice in your heart Tell you: the person you are waiting for is him.You, who are silent in love, don't take into account whether he is a playful person or whether he is ambitious. Can you accept the assumption that he has neither of these two aspects?Even if there is a sweet love experience, the marriage will eventually return to reality.

In "New Marriage Era", Gu Xiaoxi's mother once told her daughter that marrying someone is not just marrying him alone, but marrying his whole family. Everything in his family will be related to you, and you cannot completely Get out of the way.

Women in their twenties will know what marriage means, and if they choose a man with good conditions, they can be pampered for the time being.However, in today's call for "equality between men and women", if a woman still wants to change her life situation by marrying, then this wishful thinking is a mistake.Whether a marriage is happy or not is very important for a woman, especially for a woman who is planning to get married. In fact, after marriage, a woman will sacrifice a lot in family life. Maybe you will say: "What age is it?" But According to China's national conditions, the life of a man after marriage will not change much. In stark contrast to this, the life of a woman will undergo earth-shaking changes.

For example, both work outside the home, and the husband can lie on the sofa and watch TV when he comes back, but he has to be busy with housework, and there is no judgment of fairness or unfairness.Therefore, when choosing a marriage partner, you must take his living habits into consideration, because some seemingly small things in life may cause many conflicts.

If you haven't found out what your current boyfriend's real life is like, you can check his circle of friends.As the saying goes, "Look at the person, look at the friend". At this time, you will learn more about the details of your boyfriend, such as small details in life, social scope, and whether he has bad habits. If the result of the investigation is acceptable to you, Then you can enter into a married life with him. If the result is the opposite or too different from what you think, you'd better think carefully.

Marriage inspection is very necessary. Choose a man who suits you, and your married life will be sweet and beautiful; choose a man who is not suitable, and it will be very different.A high-quality life requires adequate preparation in the early stage, so that you will get used to moving from love life to reality.

Love is "Coke", Marriage is "Milk"

Find out your "love"

Some people say that love is "Coke" and marriage is "milk". It means that when a woman is in love, when choosing a boyfriend, it is like drinking Coke. She can drink as she likes without any restrictions, as long as she likes it. .But when a woman really wants to marry a man, she often doesn't choose her favorite "Coke", but picks up the "milk" that she doesn't usually drink. Why?Different women have different answers to this question. If you want to know how you can get married happiness, come and complete the following test together!
The goal of the test: analysis of your love object and marriage object.

Test subjects: unmarried or married women

1. For your lover, your selection criteria are:
A. Chic and handsome
B. Mature and stable
2. What is your favorite boyfriend's dressing style:
A. Casual sports

B. Suit and leather shoes

3. When you have a date with your boyfriend for dinner, the restaurant you often choose is:

A.Western food
B. Chinese food
4. When you go shopping with your boyfriend, what type of things do you buy most often?

A. Trinkets
b. clothing
5. When your boyfriend is on a business trip, will you "talk on the phone" every day?

A. Will

B. will not
6. Do you like your boyfriend to give you flowers?

A. like
B. don't like

7. What is your standard for choosing daily necessities in the supermarket?
A. Practicality

B. Pretty

8. When you and your friends agreed to hang out together on the weekend, and your boyfriend just called to say that you will go on a trip on the weekend, you would:

A. Promise to boyfriend

B. reject boyfriend

9. When you got married, what kind of ring would you like your boyfriend to give you?
A. Platinum diamond

B. Ordinary gold
10. What kind of wedding do you like?
A. Church-style western wedding
B. Formal Chinese wedding

11. Do you think it is important that your husband is taller or shorter than you?
A. is not important

b.important
12 In life, when your husband tells you about his first love, what will you do?

A. Not happy

b. happy
test analysis
In this group of questionnaire tests, if you choose more than eight items for A, it means that this type of you is a typical romantic realistic woman, who is very cautious and realistic in dealing with love and marriage.The person you fall in love with and the person you marry are often not the same type of man, and the standards for dating and marriage are also different.But this type of you is often a happy and lucky woman, because you can seize the opportunity to make yourself happy.

If in this group of tests, the choice of B exceeds eight items, it means that you are a person who does not know how to seize opportunities. You can get romantic love in life, but when facing the reality of marriage, you often live poorly. Very tired, thus lost the original yearning for marriage.

Any woman longs for a beautiful love and a happy marriage, but affected by feelings or various reasons, you often cannot make yourself a person who truly has a happy marriage.And how can you make yourself a happy and happy woman?You have to make the right choice when facing love, and separate your love standards from your marriage standards.When you are in love, you can lose your mind for love, go all out for the person you like, and you can send your ignorance and meaninglessness in pursuit of the chic first love.But this theory does not apply to marriage.

The Ten Rules of the "Golden Wedding"
When every woman gets married, she hopes that she will have a happy marriage and a successful, considerate and caring husband from now on, so from the time of falling in love, they start to choose a man who can make them happy.But in reality, the man who can really make him decide to marry him is often not the one who made him crazy.The criteria for a woman to choose a marriage partner and the rules for having a golden marriage are as follows:

Rule 1: You must have a certain career and economic foundation, so that you can maintain a real life.

Rule 2: It is better to have a house and a car, not a person who is heavily in debt.

Rule 3: Have a mature and stable character, an honest and decent style, and a humorous speech.

Rule 4: Have certain knowledge and academic qualifications, otherwise you will be easily eliminated by the society.

Rule 5: The personalities of the two parties must be compatible, because if the two parties are not compatible, conflicts will inevitably arise frequently.

Rule 6: Consider the attitudes of both parents. Marriages without the blessing of relatives are often unfortunate.

Rule 7: Don't marry a man who is too narcissistic or too romantic.

Rule 8: Have love and self-confidence, and have a certain sense of responsibility and dedication.

Rule 9: Between the person you love and the person who loves you, choose the latter.

Rule 10: Don't choose a second marriage man.

Marriage is very important to women, because women will spend most of their lives in marriage, and marital happiness is the most representative of women's happiness, so you must be careful when choosing your marriage partner, and consider comprehensively All aspects of the marriage partner.Because marriage is not like love, it is only divided into simple likes and dislikes. It often involves many complicated factors. Only when these are considered very clearly can you get a golden wedding.Don't be a heroine in a fairy tale
Many girls in life want to be someone everyone likes, and they all hope that they are the darling of life, so they often have dreams like this:
Hope to find a gentle, handsome husband.

I hope that I can be spotted by the diamond king.

I hope I can become the second Snow White and Cinderella.

All these have become the goals pursued by modern girls. In order to enable themselves to live such a "happy" life, they keep dreaming unrealistic dreams.You should learn to strive for happiness instead of waiting for the gift of fate. Being a self-respecting and self-reliant woman can make it easier for you to get what you need.Women should choose an excellent husband for themselves, but they must be cautious when choosing such a husband, and cannot be swayed by naive illusions, so as to get carried away.

To choose a husband is to choose a person who can enrich your life. He will make your life better, make your life have more bright spots, and thus bring you spiritual and material abundance.In real life, you may be mediocre, without a prominent family background, without outstanding talent, and without a slender figure, but as long as you have a confident heart and create a perfect self, you will be able to find someone who will bring you happiness. Prince Charming, this is the wisdom a woman should have in love.

Instead of waiting, look for

"Who directs this scene, in this lonely role... If the story is destined to be tragic, why give me beauty, show reunion and parting..." Love is indeed like a play, and the screenwriter and director are actually ourselves, instead of blaming others Saying that you haven't met a good marriage, you might as well create your own love destiny with your own hands.Instead of "sit and wait", it is better to take the initiative to find the man worthy of your love.Being a director for your own love may not be as funny as comedy, not as romantic as romance, but it is truly your own love.

So what are the criteria to look for?We might as well learn from the successful models in Korean dramas.

be true to your own ideas

The protagonist in "BJ's Diary"-Bridget Jones.This is a woman who is loyal to herself. At the age of 32, she does not have an outstanding appearance, but she still has a confident smile. She will not succumb to men for any reason, but strives to find her own happiness.At the end of the film, in order to keep her boyfriend, she stopped her boyfriend on the road wearing thin underwear in the ice and snow.

Comments: This way of pursuing love is much brighter than some girls who hesitate to talk and pretend to be coy. The most important thing is that the effect is very good, so you have to remember: have the courage to pursue your own happiness.

persistent love view
The heroine in "My Name Is Kim Sam Soon" - Kim Sam Soon.This chubby, not pretty older girl must have her secrets to win the favor of a handsome guy.Women with such "congenital deficiencies" in appearance usually pay attention to acquired cultivation.Her spirit is enough to be admired by everyone, especially her persistence and tenacity for love, which is simply unmatched.Especially the dialogue with the rival in love is a classic:
Sanshun: "You are younger than me, so you don't know, memories have no power, memories are just memories."

Xizhen: "Childish".

Sanshun: "Don't you know, love is always childish."

Comments: There is no fixed law in love, only this kind of persistent spirit can defend your love, so if you are still hesitating whether to take the initiative to fight for the person with development potential, I advise you to "make a move when it is time" , so as not to get ahead of others.

A woman with a successful career is loved
The heroine in "The Witch Youxi" - Youxi.The biggest feature of this film is that it advocates that "women with successful careers will not worry about having no market".Although she always wears a pair of black eyes and a professional attire, she has sharp eyes, is scary, and is known as a witch.But in daily life, he wears fashionable fashions and cuts the latest hairstyle, which is completely different from when he was in the company.Although she didn't take the initiative to pursue love, she would use a little trick to make the witch's spring come.

Comments: You don’t need to be a “rich family”, but you must have your own career. A life without pursuit is terrible. Everyone has different ways and means to find their own partner, but you have to use your own strengths to display your charm .Will "fall in love", but also "marry"

Women's "faint" and "marriage"

Many women think that love is the whole of life, and these people are born for love.But this kind of people are easily dazzled by blind love, thinking that love is the center point that overwhelms everything, and everything can give way to it.It is true that love is a "career" that women must manage, but it is only a part of life. Before devoting all your body and mind to the love career, properly reserve a little space for yourself.

Women marry for love, men love for marriage

Women tend to be stupid when they are passionately in love, and men are endlessly wise when they are passionately in love.

Regarding marriage, men and women have completely opposite views. Even if there are similarities, they overlap by chance. There is no reason and no suitable explanation. It is only because of the pure gender difference, which is the difference between men and women.

Women should not consider love as the only condition for marriage. Unlike love, marriage is based on real life. Therefore, when women choose a marriage partner, they must take into account the other party's external conditions such as economic strength and social status. Here It's not asking you to be a "material girl", but you have to keep in mind that it is absolutely impossible to have no material.

Love can "satisfy with love and drink water", but marriage will eventually eat fireworks in the world.When faced with the tempering of reality, no matter how colorful the love is, it will eventually be shattered little by little in the plain reality.So women should not be impulsive and be led away by love in a daze.

When love tends to be flat, how do you think of the smell of smoke and sweat on his body after gradually waking up from the love dream?Don't simply believe that "loving him is loving everything about him, accepting his strengths and weaknesses", these can only be sung as songs.When you become more realistic after marriage, you will inevitably complain: Why did you marry such a person in the first place?Is it dizzy?
Before marriage, Zhiyuan thought that her boyfriend was the most free-spirited person, he was considerate and gentle to herself, he was a good man in a thousand, so even though her family objected, she resolutely married him.But after we got married, I found that my boyfriend's once free and easy life had turned into idleness. He didn't make progress in his work, and he didn't feel ashamed to rely on her for support all day long.Gradually, Zhiyuan discovered that he was not the Prince Charming he had imagined in her mind, and he was not worth the price of betraying her parents. Obviously, he was not an ideal partner worth spending a lifetime with.

Love is the milestone of marriage

Some people say that "marriage is the climax of love", while others say "marriage is the grave of love".What is the relationship between marriage and love?

If you compare marriage to a long-distance running event, then falling in love is the warm-up exercise before.Without a deep emotional foundation, how can you withstand the test of life?The love stage before marriage is to let you truly understand each other's strengths and weaknesses, so you should treat marriage from the perspective of a bystander, and don't wait until you get married to find out that his shortcomings and shortcomings are unbearable for you.

Love is a necessary stage of marriage, and it is a process of mutual growth of both parties.Men and women who are lingering outside the door of marriage should not imagine marriage too perfect, and don't regard it as the grave of love.

A sweet love life does not necessarily lead to a happy marriage, but without a solid foundation of love, there is no guarantee of marriage. "Everything has a good beginning, there will be a satisfactory result, and the combination of two loves can be happy"!If you don't get to know each other well when you're in love before marriage, you won't be able to prepare for life after marriage, and your new life will turn into a war between two people.

Zhang Jing and Dong Jun got to know each other through a friend's introduction. After meeting several times, they feel good about each other, and their parents are quite satisfied with each other.When Dongjun's company was going to send him to work in other places for a year, in order to give an explanation to the old man and the other party, the two parties decided to settle the marriage first, so the two of them relied on the phone to maintain their relationship after the engagement.

A year later, Dongjun returned to his hometown, and his parents urged the two to formalize their marriage. In this way, the two held a lively wedding "after a year of phone love".However, after they got married, they discovered that the other party had many shortcomings and deficiencies, such as Dong Jun's masculinity and Zhang Jing's lack of assertiveness.

It's not that they don't have a love process, they just lack the practice of real life.The sweet feeling in love can sometimes overwhelm people's minds, and it is easy to imagine life after marriage too perfect. When life changes after marriage, people often lack rationality and courage to face real life, so unmarried Female friends, don't ignore the prelude to marriage - falling in love. The most important task at this time is to "run in".Love is romantic, marriage is realistic.There may be very little consideration in choosing a love partner, as long as you like it, but when you think of getting married, you have to consider some "hardware facilities", such as his family, work income, economic status, etc.

In short, love should be talked about with quality.When in love, bring your wallet

Take the test to see how you would handle the sensitive issue of money in a relationship.

How do you feel about your boyfriend paying for you?

A. A matter of course.

B. The criteria for judging that he loves you.

C.AA system, not owed to each other.

D. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter who pays.

Among the Chinese women surveyed, nearly 50% of women think that paying the bill is what men must do, 25% of women think that AA can be controlled, and the other 25% indicate that whether in love or after marriage, in terms of life needs Do your best to satisfy yourself.

In the era of "equal pay for equal work", it is not necessary for a woman to let a man fully pay for the relationship. Even if he takes the initiative to do so, you have to consider whether this will make him look down on you.The best payment method for love should keep pace with the times, and the AA system is actually a good choice.But the so-called AA should also be moderate, because absolute AA will make men feel that you are too independent, so this scale needs to be grasped by women according to the time and situation.

As we all know, British men are very gentlemen, so will they fully bear all the expenses in love?If you are smart and think like this, you are very miscalculated!When British women enjoy the "gentleman" demeanor of their boyfriends, they are also quite independent. Whether in love or married life, they are never attached to men. From buying a car to buying a house, to eating, they have to pay the AA system.A Chinese girl living in the UK met a boyfriend with a monthly salary of 6000 pounds. In the eyes of friends, it can be said that she "befriended" a rich man. In fact, this cross-border relationship is different in consumption methods. They are all AA system, even selling cold drinks on the street.British men are very gentlemen, but they are never "polite" when paying the bill. He will open the door for you 20 meters away from the door, but he will never pay for you, because in their opinion, it is an insult to you .

According to the survey of Chinese women's financial situation and purchasing power, Chinese urban women are becoming more and more independent economically, and most women spend the money they earn gracefully.The report also revealed that 75% of women don't reach out to their significant other, but use their own money to shop as they please.In the survey, almost all women would say the word "peace of mind".

Ann is a shopaholic, and she used to ask her boyfriend to go shopping with her tirelessly, but after discovering the disadvantages of doing so, she stopped going shopping with her boyfriend.Because when her boyfriend went shopping with her in the past, he either commented on her vision or complained after swiping the card to pay. The behavior of her boyfriend made Ann feel a little dissatisfied, but when she proposed to pay by herself, his boyfriend showed distrust, as if doubt Her financial ability and sincerity.From then on, she would warn her sisters: get rid of her boyfriend, go shopping by herself, and spend her own money.

As the so-called economic independence, personality can be independent.If your boyfriend complains, you can boldly say: "I spent my own money!" Therefore, women with spending power may wish to go shopping with their sisters by themselves, not only to clean the ears, but also to feel at ease.

Smart women don't just think about letting their boyfriends spend money everywhere. This is an era of equal pay for equal work. Women also have the financial ability to pay for their own needs. Don't always let your boyfriend treat you.You need to know that there is nothing wrong with a boyfriend who doesn't pay you, you are separate from each other.Learn to pay for yourself.In fact, this way will make your love more free and pure.When you can pay for yourself at any time, that feeling must be better than spending any man's money. Such a woman has more advantages in love life, at least it will not increase the troubles of love because of some economic factors.This kind of women will definitely not choose the wrong man, because they will not lower or raise their standards for the sake of economy, at least they will choose a boyfriend who can make AA with her, so that the relationship is not owed to each other.

High-quality love does not mean that he pays for you, so don't just think about getting a long-term "bank card", you have to learn to pay for your own consumption, and be an independent, happy and happy woman.So, girls must remember: bring your own wallet on a date.Only when you are used to paying for yourself will you have a high-quality love with full insurance.

You can fall in love N times, but you can't love indiscriminately once

Don't grab life-saving grass casually

Partner, you have to appear at the right time and place in order to get a "good death". If you grab someone casually, the love at this time will not only not make you happy, but will make you sink deeper and deeper.

Especially young women, when they are broken in love, they usually give others a chance easily, whether they like it or not, they will rush over with all their brains in order to regain their self-confidence.In this way, I think that I am not that bad, and the new love can fill up the boring leisure time, so why not do it?

When you are about to drown in the water, you can analyze yourself in many ways, such as talking with close friends in the boudoir, or going to nearby tourist areas to relax, but you must not "fight poison with poison", because the only one who will be sad in the end will be yourself.

Love is not a tool to relieve loneliness. Sometimes falling in love with someone because of loneliness may lead to a lonely life, so there is no need to lower your standards because of loneliness.Choose someone you don't like and pass the boring days, so it's just two boring people getting together.The best way is to get rid of the "loneliness factor" in the body from now on, and seriously look for your own true love.

You can fall in love a thousand times, but you can't indulge once

在对结婚之前谈过多少次恋爱这个问题的调查中，有14.9%的人是一次性就成功了，直接走入婚姻殿堂；29.1%的人在婚前有一次失败的恋爱；45.5%的人在婚前有过2~5次的恋爱；3.7%的人在婚前有过5~10次的恋爱；6.8%的人在婚前有过10次以上的恋爱。

If you have been in love more than 5 times, you are likely to be considered a flirt, but whether you are flirtatious or not can not be defined by this alone. Only you can know what kind of people are suitable for living together.

Love experience is part of life experience, and it is a very important part.If experience is the wealth of life, then love experience is very good for people's growth.We are all slowly maturing in a relationship that does not know the outcome. It is a wise choice to fall in love with the right person, and breaking up with the inappropriate person is a way of benefiting others and ourselves.Love itself is a "call transfer". Only when both parties pick up the phone at the same time can they keep in touch, so you are smart and should do a good job of searching before there is no connection, so as to avoid unnecessary mistakes in the future.Therefore, young single female friends should practice their skills now, otherwise they will be the only ones who cry.

Don't be numb while choosing. The most important thing is to have a clear mind and clear goals.

If you haven’t met someone you like in the thousand loves you have experienced, then maybe the next one will be your true destiny, but if you fall in love with someone you know is not suitable, it can be said to be self-deprecating, and it will hurt others and yourself .

For those women who end in failure every time they fall in love, if they fall in love with the same type of man every time, then the same tragedy will be repeated. Introspect yourself in time to re-determine the relationship, otherwise it will be considered 100 times. Love still cannot reach the harbor of happiness. It is precisely because you are not good at summing up experience that you have repeatedly fought and failed.

Thousands of choices, heavy attack
Those who can go through the golden wedding are rare, and those who can go to the diamond wedding are even more fortunate.

For women, it is a great blessing in life if they can meet their true son smoothly, but few people have such luck.

Most people go through the process of falling in love, falling in love, hurting, and breaking up. Helpless people will always lament the injustice of fate, but they sigh, love is a preview before marriage, how can there be results without a process Woolen cloth?
Love will continue, but with a supporting role, love is like this, because of the existence of love, men and women who have different language and thinking are combined together.Maybe only through multiple contacts and choices can you combine with the one you like.

The other half of the marriage is not the clothes in the department store window, just look gorgeous, because the clothes don't fit, you can change another one, marriage is different.Even if there are better ones, you can only choose the one that suits you.

In short, you have to shop around when shopping, and falling in love should be like the lyrics: "I'll wait for you to see all the scenery, come back and watch the long river with me."

Xiaoxi has been in love four times, but love is love. If she decides who to marry, she may not be very satisfied with any of them.

The first one is a college classmate, that boy is very handsome, and he is very good at sports, but he is always young, and he likes to play games. Xiaoxi went to him a few times and always waited by his side for hours until he finished playing. Game... When they broke up, she decided not to find an immature boy who couldn't manage time in the future.

The second one was introduced by a friend. He is not tall and works as a freelancer, but he loves others very much and takes care of everything for himself.But there are too many willow warblers around him, and he will "derail" from time to time, which makes her very sad. After being together for a year, she decides to break up because she can't share her lover with others.

The third one met on the Internet. He has excellent writing skills and humorous conversation. The two fell in love at first sight and got along like glue.But soon she decided to give up this relationship, because this man was addicted to alcohol and would beat her with fists when drunk.She had tried hard to persuade him to quit drinking, but they all ended in failure. She couldn't bear it and chose to break up helplessly.

The fourth is the current boyfriend. Although the salary is not high, he will occasionally take her romantically; although he is busy at work, he is never late for a date; Humorous, but definitely the kind of guy who does it before he says it, and with integrity.Xiaoxi thinks that her marriage partner should be such a person. Although she is not very outstanding, she is very in line with her own wishes, and the result is also very satisfactory. She and him walked into the palace of marriage happily.

People around think that girls like Xiaoxi are too picky and won't find a particularly good boyfriend.In their view, there is a limit to everything, and they should not be overly forceful. People are not so perfect, and the same is true for finding a husband.But think about it, if you really want to find someone who will accompany you for the rest of your life, how can you rush through it?This is a performance of irresponsibility to oneself.

Girls should wear clothes of the right size, choose a high-quality life, and have a boyfriend who can marry.Especially in dealing with feelings, if you find it is inappropriate, it is better to cut the mess quickly to avoid endless troubles.Until you find the right one for you, it doesn't hurt to have a few more boyfriends!
Do you think getting married is so easy?
Well done VS well married

There is a survey and test on mate selection and job selection specially for women on the Internet.A total of 7311 women participated in this survey. It is worth noting that 72.2% of the women agreed that "a good job is worse than a good marriage", of which 19.4% chose the item "very much agree"; accounted for 52.8%.

The notion that "a woman is better off marrying well than doing a good job" seems to be more and more recognized recently, and many young unmarried women even said confidently: "Instead of spending time finding a good job, it is better to spend time finding a good man to marry. .If I marry well and my husband is rich and supports me, wouldn’t I be able to become a boss in my twenties? And my parents can enjoy my rewards early.”

The prevalence of this kind of concept is not unreasonable. If a woman does a good job but is not married well, it is more tragic than not being married; The pressure, why not do it?This statement sounds okay, and it has its reasonable side, but a careful analysis will reveal that there are big loopholes.

No matter how well you are married, even if you are well-clothed and well-fed every day, you still can't enjoy all this with peace of mind.

You may not have the right to control everything at present, and it may not be easy to listen to others in everything.

You, who stretch out your hands for clothes and open your mouth for food, are just a "caged bird" in the eyes of others.

Even if you drive a luxury car and go to a five-star hotel, you may not be able to keep up with the pace of this era.

If you think that marrying well can be exchanged for everything you have achieved after a successful career, it is a big mistake.Because you may not have everything you want by getting married, you will be in a passive position in marriage, and once the marriage breaks down, you will have nothing.Some women with relatively successful careers, even if their love life is not very smooth, but they have their own careers, and they don't have to rush to marry themselves in exchange for a guarantee of life.A woman's job is the most guaranteed. A job well done can not only meet her basic needs, but also give full play to her abilities, so that the boyfriend you find will really respect you.Success in your career will make you more beautiful when you are confident, and make your love more secure.

Marriage is not a long-term free meal ticket
The so-called "marry a man, marry a man, dress and eat", for women in the old days, it seemed that marriage could solve their basic livelihood problems. For women at that time, the only way out was to marry.However, today, women no longer need to look up to men, and they don’t need to rely on marriage to maintain their lives. Marriage is no longer the basis for women’s survival, but there are still many women who have this idea-to rely on marriage to live a life without worrying about food and clothing.

Some women regard men as banks or long-term meal tickets, and marriage as the easiest way to gather money and earn a living.Such women should wake up, the times are different, and concepts are constantly being updated. You can’t justly say: "If you want to marry me, you should be able to support me." Even if a man makes such a promise to you before marriage, you should not Believe it, because this society no longer requires you to be a full-time housewife. Even if conditions permit, in such a married life, you will become unworldly and even lose yourself completely.Once your long-term meal ticket expires early, you will suddenly feel at a loss, how will you deal with all this?

Kelly did not have a high degree of education, so she found a temporary job with a small salary every month, but the pressure of work was very high, which made her often want to escape the competitive pressure of society.

It happened that my boyfriend who had been in love for three years came back from abroad, and he found a job with a good salary.At the urging of both parents, the two decided to get married.Because her boyfriend is very busy with work and has no time to prepare for the wedding, and Kelly just thinks that he is tired from work, his boyfriend persuades him to give up this job and concentrate on being a full-time wife.Kelly liked it too, so he quit his job and devoted himself to maintaining the little home ever since.The first days were happy and harmonious. Kelly was busy with housework all day long, and gradually cut off contact with friends and classmates, and only had her husband and children in her eyes.

Gradually, she found that her husband came back later and later, and even when he got home, he seldom talked to her. There was an invisible gap between husband and wife, and there were more and more conflicts.Her husband said that she didn't know how to live, she knew how to take care of housework all day long, and she didn't know how to manage money. Kelly had nothing to say.But one day she found out that her husband was having an affair, which she couldn't bear, so the two parties chose to divorce by agreement. The 35-year-old Kelly has since lost her family, and her nine-year marriage has left her no wealth, only a broken heart.

A man may swear to please you in every possible way before marriage and say: "Honey, as long as you marry me, everything about me, including property, will be yours." But if you are naive, if you really rely on him to survive, your life will be different. A scene.When the two quarrel, he will say: "You spend all my money, what right do you have to accuse me?"

It's okay for a man not to change his mind, but once he changes his mind, even if a woman is willing to live a life of humility and humility, then I'm afraid the marriage won't last long.Remember: there is no such thing as a free lunch!
Mo bet on tomorrow with his youth

A 24-year-old beautiful female graduate student wants to seek marriage, asking her to be worth more than 42 million yuan, and this move has been approved by her mother.In the end she married a rich man who was divorced at the age of [-] and had a son.This move is no longer news nowadays. Many unmarried girls have the dream of marrying a "rich man", so that they can enjoy it once and for all.

In fact, there is no need for women to completely place their bets on others. Instead of doing so, it is better to invest in themselves.Marrying a rich man hastily is tantamount to a risk, like putting one's destiny in the hands of others, and not controlling happiness or not in one's own hands.Usually women who want to marry rich people have a strong dependence mentality, but how many women who pin their hopes on others can succeed?Even if you succeed, your life will not be satisfactory!
Zhao Min is an ordinary white-collar worker with a small monthly salary. Although he cannot satisfy all his wishes, compared with the sisters, his life is not bad.Her good friend Wang Yao "caught" a wealthy son-in-law through a blind date, became a wealthy wife, and lived a leisurely life ever since.This is really the envy of many sisters, and Zhao Min is one of them.

Wang Yao, who is newly married, is very generous every time she goes shopping with her friends. She never hesitates to pay for her favorite clothes and jewelry by swiping her card.But things gradually changed. During the chat with Zhao Min, Wang Yao told about an incident that completely shattered Zhao Min's dream of marrying a rich man.

One time when she was out shopping, Wang Yao originally wanted to buy a dress that she accidentally saw last time, but when she walked to the window, she happened to see a tie imported from Germany. She thought that her husband must like this kind of tie very much. , matching that suit will definitely add a bit of grace to my husband, so I changed the purpose of the trip and bought this tie for him.

When Wang Yao happily showed off this "trophy" in front of her husband and tied the tie for him herself, things went differently than she imagined. Instead of praising her, her husband said casually: "You will spend money indiscriminately." , do you know how hard it is to make money? If you don’t know how to make money, you have to learn to save money.” The two had a very unpleasant fight over this, and what was even more “excessive” was that her husband actually imposed a financial blockade on her.

Taking a step back, if you want to marry a rich man, you must first have this capital, such as appearance, education, cultivation, etc. Of course, this is not absolute.But if you are smart, you should know that whether to marry you or not is a matter for rich people, and you are always passive.Therefore, in addition to material factors, looking for a boyfriend should also consider his character and your relationship.If you only look at his wealth and power and ignore the main aspects of marriage, the result will be bitter in the end.

In order to avoid "sequelae", to provide a double insurance for yourself and your marriage, it is better to rely on your own efforts to make yourself a rich person. In this way, the money really belongs to you and your life is the most secure.True happiness should be in your own hands. Only when you have the ability can you create your own happiness and control your own happiness.

Don't leave your marriage to fate

Even if the situation forces you, don't use marriage as an excuse

Women are usually more fragile, and are easily influenced by the outside world. For example, a certain classmate gets married, which will touch the sensitive "nerves" of girls. No matter what the reason is, they will always think of themselves.

At the age of marriage, the urging voices of parents continue to come one after another, and the sisters around them frequently send good news, so many women will randomly choose a partner to marry, without thinking about whether they like it or seriously thinking about their future. Come on, although the current embarrassing situation has been lifted, the pain I will face in the future will be even more unbearable than it is now.

It can be said that Yiqin's misfortunes never come singly. After the financial crisis broke out, her company was facing layoffs. Unfortunately, she was selected.Soon after, her boyfriend who had been in love for three years moved on and fell in love with a boss's daughter, which made Yiqin who was already in pain even more sad.A good friend also tried to persuade her, but it didn't seem to have any effect on her. He began to immerse himself in the pain of broken love and unemployment all day long.Parents intend to introduce a boyfriend to their daughter, Yiqin has only one standard: decent looks and financial strength.After several blind dates, she chose the little boss.The two got married in a flash without talking for a few days. After they got married, they found out that they were not suitable. They often quarreled over trivial matters. After less than a year of marriage, both of them felt physically and mentally exhausted, so the two agreed to divorce. married.

While chatting with friends, Yiqin confessed that she didn’t like her ex-husband at first, but when she reached the age of marriage, her parents pressed her hard. The most important thing is that her boyfriend chose the daughter of a rich family for better development, so she Because of a moment of pique, I found one at random.

At a time of desperation, casually using marriage to solve the current predicament will undoubtedly have to pay a considerable price for it.Unwise choices will aggravate your pain and even make you regret it for life.

Marriage is not a joke of fate

Don't try to use marriage to change your destiny. Even if your friends have successful cases, it is not a winning gamble after all. The siege of marriage is full of variables, and many unexpected things may attack you at any time.Therefore, you who are in your twenties should get rid of this idea from now on and establish a correct view of marriage.

Love is not a product of fate. Don't always think that marrying a "destined" person will make you happy. If that "he" is worthy of your love, then when life after marriage tends to be flat and love turns into family affection, maintain the marriage The bond of wisdom is wisdom.But if you haven't seen clearly whether he is suitable for you, don't enter marriage lightly.Of course, marriage is not watered by the fire of love that never goes out. You have to choose your significant other carefully, and don't always lie to yourself with excuses such as "following fate" and "it's like this".

A happy marriage is for those who are prepared. When love comes, you have to choose according to your own standards.There are many married women who always complain to their girlfriends: "I never thought I would marry such a person." But the matter is over, what's the use of complaining?
dominate your marriage

What is marriage like?What should marriage be like?These questions bother many people.Is it to listen to the words of parents, or to resign to fate?A marriage that goes with the flow can be scary because you can't predict what will happen in the future and whether it will survive the trials of life.So smart you, learn to dominate your marriage.

Beth is a white-collar worker in a foreign company, with a wide range of social contacts, but among the many men, she is not very satisfied. Seeing that the sisters around her are all married, and she has reached the age of marriage, But getting along a few times back and forth is not satisfactory: Boyfriend A has good looks, but is a complete "vase"; B is capable, but somewhat machismo;

Beth's friends feel that her vision is too high and picky, so they persuade her to lower the standard, but Beth doesn't think so, and she still pursues her own happiness persistently.Later, she met her current boyfriend by chance. He is not outstanding in appearance, but he is very smart. Although his salary is not high compared with the above-mentioned few, he is quite efficient in his work.These points touched Beth's heart, and the fact proved that Beth's choice was right.After marriage, her boyfriend's career is getting bigger and bigger, and the two live happily.

Therefore, don't obey God's will when you are helpless, and don't lower your standards at will. True happiness needs to be mastered by yourself.Remember: happiness is in your own hands.

No amount of "I love you" is worth a sentence of "I marry you"

No matter what man it is, when he gets engaged, he will think that if he can wait another 24 hours, he may find a more desirable woman.

———American writer: James Saba

Love is easy, marriage is hard
Different from women, men's views on love and marriage are separate. During the survey of single office workers aged 26-29, it was found that 22% of men think that love does not necessarily lead to marriage, nor does it lead to marriage. Marriage must be the prerequisite.It's a different story when a simple romantic relationship develops into marriage.

Therefore, women in love should not always hope to marry their boyfriend, even if he repeats the moving "I love you" in his ear every day, it may sound to you as a symbol of loving you and wanting to marry you, but Not necessarily so.

Smart, you must not simply think that he is the Prince Charming in your life, even if he is the Prince Charming, it is not necessarily the one who entered the marriage hall with you.This is because men usually see love and marriage as distinct.

When it comes to love, men hope that the more the better.

Regarding marriage, men hope that the sooner the better.

For men, falling in love is something they can only wish for. As for getting married, it will make them feel fearful. This is why falling in love is easy and getting married is difficult.So when two people are in love, they can talk about everything, and they can listen to you and let you do everything, but once the word "marriage" is mentioned, it can be said that they "turn pale when talking about it".

Believe what a man says, but don’t believe it completely. Maybe when he says "I love you", he may really love you and want to be with you for the rest of his life, but this is just a thought at that time. If the time, place, person Changed, they will also use the same words.

If you want men to marry as soon as they fall in love, no matter how many household registrations they have, it is not enough.Marriage is the "purpose" of love for women, and a "result" for men.Usually men are very curious and don't like to be "fixed" in one position, and their temperament is like a constantly active hunter.So once a woman falls in love, she will think of building a home, while a man wants to set up a camp first.

Men’s mentality when facing marriage is: if you like it, you like it, and you will choose your marriage partner carefully. It is best to be the "family-oriented and virtuous type" you like, so as to ensure the quality of your married life in the future.

Men are usually "self-righteous" in their hearts. When they are in love, they want to get a warm and romantic feeling. When they get married, they choose someone who can help them in the rough and ordinary life, so the conditions for choosing are naturally different.As far as love is concerned, beautiful women are the best, and it is best to dress stylishly, be alert and adaptable, and be good at socializing. In a word, it is good to feel happy when contacting her.But in order to get married, men usually will not choose such a woman. For the long-term consideration, they will feel that such a woman has a weak sense of family and lacks the spirit of hard work.

actions speak louder than words

If a man loves you, he will proudly tell the people around him that you are the woman he loves the most, of course not just talking about it all the time, but telling others with an action.And some men say "I love you and want to grow old together with you all day long." But in real life, they have another face. They always satisfy themselves first in everything, and when they need to take responsibility, they will leave and leave behind. When you are sad, you lick your wounds alone.

Zhilan is a lover of love. She regards love as the whole of her life. She thought she had met the "prince" in her life not long after she entered the society.She refused to listen to the advice of her family and friends, and resolutely lived together with this "prince" in her mind.The boyfriend had vowed at the beginning that if conditions permit in the future, he would definitely give her a decent wedding and let everyone change their impression of them.

Zhilan desperately waited for that day to come, but her boyfriend moved on soon after living together. Zhilan found out that she was pregnant when she was sad. When she told her boyfriend, he casually took out a dozen of money and threw it To Zhilan, and said: "Don't you just want money? Why come up with such a plan! My ex-girlfriend has already used it." In desperation, Zhilan chose to go to the hospital alone for surgery.

A man who talks in your ear all day about how he will treat you and how much he loves you, compared with a man who silently pays for you all day long, would you choose the former's "verbalism" that only talks but doesn't practice?Most smart girls will choose the "practical type".

Smart woman, never be a third party

don't make excuses for yourself

Maybe because of his money, you chose to be a third party, but no matter how much money you have, you can't buy the home you want!
Maybe because of his attractive appearance, you chose to be the third party, but no matter how handsome he is, his arms are also my wife's pillow at night!
Maybe because of his official position, you chose to be a third party, but no matter how big the official is, you will not be called someone's wife.

Maybe because of his humor, you chose to be the third party, but no matter how humorous he is, he can only joke around in his own home during the holidays!
Maybe you love his talent, maybe you like being pampered by him, maybe you just love him for no reason.But you must keep in mind that he is not your man alone, and he cannot give you happiness. Often all he gets in exchange for sincerity is harm.

A smart woman would not choose to be a third party. Compared with this indecent title, the third party often has to bear more pressure, which is even more pitiful.When suffering the double torture of conscience and morality, maybe the third party can ignore these for love, but after all, they still have to think about their own future, because most married men usually don’t give up their families easily, and they themselves have to bear the burden. With many responsibilities.

If he gave up his previous marriage and turned his eyes to you, you'd better not cheer for the victory prematurely at this time, because he who gave up the marriage may not necessarily let you "become a regular", even if you become a regular, if you want to sit still for a long time "Diaoyutai" is also a difficult task.Because it is very likely that in the near future, you will also become the next person to be abandoned by him.

Maybe you have a thousand reasons to be a third party, but you may not even admit it to yourself in the end, because it is really harmful but not beneficial.The third party often bets on his own happiness, and the probability of losing is very high. The outcome of the gamble is usually: he lost the love that did not belong to him in exchange for the misfortune of two women - himself and his wife!

The stolen happiness will eventually fall into the "trap".

It is seldom heard that stolen happiness lasts forever, because true love rarely visits these people, and always puts up small obstacles to test their true feelings.

Only those who know how to grasp happiness can experience true love, but what they grasp should not be the happiness that originally belonged to others.

Jingyi is a white-collar worker in a foreign company. She earns a high salary every month. She has achieved a little success in her career and never lacks suitors, but she always has a picture of her prince charming in her heart.

During a business trip, she made acquaintance with a friend——Xuancheng. During the chat, the two shared similar interests and were both interested in comics. Xuancheng's humor deeply attracted Jingyi. Jingyi knew that he was married. And has a five-year-old daughter.But when they broke up, the two still left each other's phone calls, and they began to call frequently after that.

Time passed slowly without knowing it, and the two gradually developed from a common hobby to a friend who talked about everything, and admiration had already quietly arisen in each other's heart.Love can make women irrational. Jingyi wants to pursue her true love. The two finally decide to live together. Dazed, they abandoned everyone.

Because Jingyi cherishes this hard-won love very much, the two of them had a sweet life at first.But after a long time, they no longer give in to each other, and often quarrel over trivial matters.Xuancheng felt that Jingyi had become less romantic and cute, so he turned his attention to Zhiying, who had just come to the company as an intern. Zhiying was also very happy to get close to Xuancheng. It hurts my ears and hurts my heart, no matter how Ren Jingyi tried to persuade Xuancheng to stay, it didn't help. Xuancheng still maintained an ambiguous relationship with Zhiying as always, so Jingyi, who did her best, finally quit the fight reluctantly. A love game that didn't belong to me originally.

True love is blessed by everyone. Don't hurt others with your own happiness. Only women who know how to recognize their own love can live a happy life.A smart woman will not choose to be a third party. Even if she has to, she will end this improper relationship at an appropriate time, because happiness is not measured by one person's feelings.

Warning: stay away from these eleven types of men!
The happiest thing in a woman's life is to have sweet love and a happy marriage.As the saying goes, men are afraid of entering the wrong profession, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man. It is a very wonderful thing to find a satisfactory boyfriend and marry him.

The criteria for choosing a boyfriend or husband vary from person to person. Every girl has different standards, so it is impossible to summarize them uniformly. However, female friends can learn from the following 11 criteria. If your boyfriend belongs to one of them One or several, then be careful to see if you can accept these shortcomings or deficiencies.

1.man without status
This kind of man is usually a "good son" in the eyes of parents, either he has not grown up, or he is a foolish and filial son who obeys his parents in everything, he will do everything right or wrong, and has no ideas of his own.The most incomprehensible thing is that you have to listen to your parents' opinions in everything you do, from work to dressing and eating.Imagine marrying such a man, without wondering whether you will have any place in his family.So unless you are a submissive person, otherwise it is best not to "defy the law".

2. An indecisive man.
Once a man is indecisive, he usually appears cowardly.

Once any major event occurs in life, or you can't make up your mind, wandering left and right, in short, you feel that you can't do anything about it, and you can't do it right.If something serious happened to him, he would walk away, throw the problem to others, and run away by himself.If his parents don't like you, he won't actively try to persuade you, but just immerse himself in the distress he set.

3. A man who is old-fashioned and not open-minded.
This kind of man's thinking is too conservative, and it is often accompanied by machismo thoughts.

Usually such a man is very concerned about other people's opinions, and he does everything in accordance with the customs of his ancestors. For example, he is looked down upon when he gives birth to a girl, and he is said to be incompetent when he marries a foreign wife.

If you point out his shortcomings, he will always say "this is the custom in our place, otherwise people will look down on you." What would happen if you met such a man?Blindly bear it?Wouldn't it be very hard for me, so such a man should not be allowed.

4. A man who can't bear the pressure

A man who can withstand the wind and rain will give a woman a happy life.But some men always like to avoid problems when they are under pressure. If you want to give him some constructive advice, he will simply avoid all problems.

5. Men who are greedy for comfort and have no self-motivation
This kind of man is not self-motivated and muddles through everything.For example, I went to an interview today, but I just don’t want to get up in the morning.Often say one thing and do another, without any actual action

6. Men who lack responsibility
When you are in love, you can love you selflessly, but once the relationship breaks up, you usually don’t miss the old love. Even if you don’t empathize, living together will ignore other people’s feelings.

7. A man who cannot bear hardships and stand hard work

If you have enough money, you may live in peace and harmony, but once there is a change in the family, he will fall deeply into the "obstacle" designed by himself.The heavy burden of life and financial problems will induce you to quarrel. One of the many reasons is that he cannot bear the hardships of life.

8. Taciturn, any man who is at ease

It seems that this kind of man has no personality and is more docile, but the fact is the opposite.It is more difficult to live with such a man.Because he won't communicate with you about everything, but waits for you to guess his thoughts, such a life will be very tiring.The bond that keeps a family together is communication. Without communication, conflicts will naturally increase, and misunderstandings and suspicions will emerge in endlessly.

9. A man with bad habits
Men often find all kinds of excuses for their bad habits.Alcoholism, gambling, fighting, etc. The existence of these bad habits usually affects the quality of life after marriage. Imagine if he often goes to some casinos, how can his life be happy.If you live with a man who has such a hobby, you have to live in fear every day, so such a man is also excluded from the scope of choice.

10. Men who talk too much about loyalty
It is certainly a good thing to be loyal, but there is a limit to everything.

A man who is too loyal usually doesn't consider whether he has that ability. At this time, he often forgets that he is a married man.A married man should start from family interests in everything. It is good to help friends, but it cannot be forced.

11. Paranoid, stubborn man
This kind of man is usually more machismo, and it can also be regarded as unreasonable.

(End of this chapter)