In this world, the only Mr. Warm
Chapter 9
Chapter 9
When Xiao Sui arrived, it was already the second day, and he had accumulated a lot of complaints, but now he couldn't get together at all.
Xu Mo arrived that night, handled everything decently and meticulously, and then stayed overnight outside Jian Yanzuo's ward.Seeing Xiao Sui coming over, his tired expression relaxed slightly, "Have you finished dealing with the matter over there?"
"Don't mention it." Xiao Sui's irritated tone was undisguised, "That old fox Jian Xiangshen must be having fun somewhere now."
After finishing one sentence, Xu Mo didn't need to ask any more.What's more, such a situation was already within their expectation long before Jian Yan's left response arrived.
"How's the situation here?" Xiao Sui asked a little hesitantly, and his doubts suddenly appeared, "Maybe I heard it wrong, how could Little Shell do it?"
"She will indeed." Although Xu Mo couldn't explain the reason, but the description was affirmative, "I heard from Dean Lian that the scalpel was inserted into the left lung through the space between the ribs. Judging from the wound formed, the strike was very fast and powerful. , and without hesitation."
This is what Xiao Sui admires most about the profession of doctors. No matter how chaotic the situation is, he can always use the most concise and concise professional language to describe it clearly.Simple description, without any emotion, but the meaning I want to express is already very clear.
Xiao Sui didn't doubt Lian Wei's judgment, he seldom made inferences, once confirmed, it was authority.
However, Xiao Sui still couldn't force himself to believe that the little girl who was always full of kindness in his eyes would be so determined to personally hurt a person who had always cherished her like a treasure.
She has always been pure in mind, and she can't bear to hurt everyone who treats her well.Just like before, she would call Jian Yanzuo in a panic in the middle of the night, just because she didn't know how to properly reject a boy who had always been nice to her but suddenly wooed her.
At that time, Jian Yanzuo always listened very carefully and spoke softly, like a father watching his daughter gradually leave his arms.
But there is no camouflaged expression, and his nervousness will always be revealed bit by bit.
At that time, after Jian Yan Zuo Hui hung up the phone, he smiled helplessly and sighed to Xiao Sui, "Look, if I don't plan to go back, this silly girl will probably be abducted by other bad boys."
Xiao entourage never thought that this silly girl in Jian Yan's left mouth, this little girl in his eyes, would one day be like this, with poisonous thorns all over her body, not only stabbing herself, but also stabbing the one who was away from her. nearest people.This is no longer the Chi Qiaoqi in Xiao Sui's impression, the Chi Qiaoqi who only needs a few words of love or pampering, and is satisfied enough to be happy all day long.The simplicity and purity seem to have long since disappeared in such a complex and slightly sour scene.
Xiao Sui took a deep breath, sat quietly for a while, and finally recovered, "Are you okay? I mean, the two of them."
"Everything is fine. Ms. Chi's fever subsided after more than five hours after the operation. Except for her mental state, everything is recovering well." Xu Mo said, reaching out to the ward next to him, "It's close to the ward of Mr. Doctors and nurses are always here."
After a pause, he continued, "That's fine, sir. After all, the rescue was timely. But even the dean said that the injury was in the lungs, so we need to pay more attention than usual."
Although it is very brief, it has explained everything very clearly.
Xiao Sui nodded, his heartbeat finally returned to normal, "Did you hide it from the old man?"
"I have already greeted the hospital. Fortunately, he has been living in the old house during this time, so it is still possible to completely block the news." Xu Mo followed what Xiao Sui was worried about, very steadily. The tone of voice gradually calmed Xiao Sui's heart.
Xu Mo has always been like this, always giving the most suitable arrangement in the most detail.For so many years, no matter what happened to me, I never panicked or lost my mind.Even with the people around me, the uneasiness in my heart will gradually dissipate.
When Xiao Sui entered, Jian Yanzuo was already awake. Seeing him coming, he greeted him as usual, and said nothing else.
There was a guarding nurse in the ward, who moved the seat from the side and placed it close to Jianyan's left, explaining a little to Jianyan's left, and quickly refilled a bottle of intravenous drip. Quickly take the door and leave.
Xiao Sui stood there until the sound of closing the door sounded, "How does it feel to be sent here by someone you like?"
"It's not very good." Jian Yanzuo's voice was a little hoarse, and the whole person's aura changed slightly at a glance, obviously losing a lot of energy, "As you can see, it's very embarrassing."
Finally did not try to be brave.
Xiao Sui sat down in satisfaction, put his right leg on his left leg, put his hands on the armrest, and his words were a little less aggressive, "I don't know if I should say you deserve it. Just wait and see." Don’t drive, run here to suffer this crime.”
Although it was a complaint, but after all, most of the lethality was lost.This is already the lightest that Xiao Sui can restrain, and Jian Zuo is of course clear.
In such an environment, he is destined not to live for himself.Every decision he makes should be worthy of the chips that are betting on him.
He has always understood better than anyone that he shouldn't have too much self-assertion.His existence should only be for Jane's.Do not overstep, do not escape.Take Jane's with his own hands, and then send it to a higher level of light.
This is his destiny that cannot be changed.And if you hesitate, you will be punished.
Perhaps, it was his punishment.Jian Yanzuo gently closed her eyes, finally feeling tired.
This kind of feeling rarely appears in his senses. Sometimes, even if he has been hovering between unsustainable persistence for several months, he still doesn't feel as tired as he is at this moment.
Tired of explaining, but also tired of being silent.It seemed that he only needed a second of blankness before he could completely fall into a dream.
But he also understood that even in the dream, his shoulders were still full of weight.From six years ago to this moment, it has never been relieved.Even, more and more heavy.
This silence lasted for a long time. During this period, there was no other sound in the ward.The only sound seemed to be the rhythmic sound of medicine dripping from the infusion tube, so subtle.
Then, Xiao Sui heard Jian Yanzuo's slightly hoarse voice, "If it were you, when Xiao Yi came back after leaving for a long time, no matter what she became, you would do your best to protect her. Hers, right?"
As proud as he is, he never makes such assumptions when he is sober.
But at this moment, Xiao Sui suddenly understood the meaning of Jian Yanzuo, "Xiao Yi is my own sister, so no matter what she becomes, even if she is injured or disabled, even if the people around her no longer recognize her, I will Keep her forever without complaint or regret. But you are different from Chi Qiaoqi. Even if you grow up together, love each other, and share the most precious memories of each other, you are not two people who will be together forever after all. Moreover, I think you can also see that the most important question now is not whether you can keep her, but whether she still needs what you think is good for her."
Xiao Sui didn't shy away from such sharp words, and Jian Yan didn't evade them.It wasn't the moment he was most sure of, but he had never wanted to face it like this moment.
Jian Yanzuo's voice sounded low and hoarse in the room, but mixed with it was his unswerving persistence, "Even if she no longer needs me, she must grow up to be able to live alone. "
At least, wait for her to be more fearless.Fearless and difficult, fearless and cold, you can warm yourself by yourself.At that time, even if she doesn't ask him, he will consciously send her away with his own hands.
"It's good that you have a decision." Xiao Sui stood up and pulled the seat aside, "No matter what you think in your heart, I hope you can remember what you said today."
At least, in the future, they will not hurt each other because of such sacrifices.In such a scenario, not only two people were injured.
When Xiao Suixuan opened the door and went out, Jian Yan saw a thin layer of sweat on Zuo's forehead.
This is No. 15 hours after the operation, the effectiveness of the anesthetic has basically disappeared, and he gradually began to feel pain.
This kind of pain is not the kind that wakes up immediately, but gradually returns.As he speaks, and breathes.
Every time it rises and falls, it seems that the suture thread is pulling around, and the exhaled breath seems to be boiling, burning the flesh.
This is the wound she left on him with her own hands, integrating all the pasts she wanted to get rid of.Accompanied by the feeling of the knife entering his body from the very beginning.One inch, another inch.No mercy, no pause.The pain was as severe as she was struggling.
It also seems that at this time, Jian Yanzuo really realized the meaning of a word, really, at the price of himself.
That word is heart-piercing.
Xiao followed Jian Yanzuo out of the ward, and happened to meet Chi Qiaoqi at the door.
Standing quietly like that, I don't know how long I stood there.Her eyebrows were lowered, her eyes were a little scattered, and her hair was scattered on her shoulders softly, making her even more helpless.
Her right hand rested on a metal crutch, which was not stable, but it barely supported her whole body.As if she was not used to it, her body shook inaudibly, but she still stood stubbornly.Seeing him come out, he stood where he was, didn't leave, and didn't go forward.
Xiao Sui left a narrow gap in the door, took a step forward, and got closer, "Do you want to go in and see him?"
Only then did Chi Qiaoqi slightly raise his head to look at him, and in his misty eyes, a lot of emotions that Xiao Sui had been used to all along were missing.
If you just briefly talk about the state of the left, it is called embarrassment.That Chi Qiaoqi's current state was called absent minded.
She didn't say a word, and she didn't shed a single tear in front of him, but Xiao Sui could really feel the great sadness emanating from her body.It seems to have lost the faith that has been supported for a long time, and there is a little depression and despair.
After a while, Xiao Suicai saw Chi Qiaoqi shaking his head gently.Then, before he could say anything else, she slowly turned her back and walked away step by step.
Da, da, da, da, da.
The heels and crutches tapped the ground rhythmically, the interval was very slow, and the walking was not smooth, even a little difficult.
But she didn't look back.
Xiao Sui couldn't bear to look any further, and quickly went out through the long corridor, and went directly to the corridor of Lianwei's office.
The door was unlocked, and Lian Wei was sitting neatly at the desk, sorting out the medical records.Seeing Xiao Sui come in, he flipped through the medical records with a calm face, took out a page from time to time and put it aside, the expression on his face did not change much from the beginning to the end.
He focused on the case without moving his eyes, until he was nagged by Xiao Sui for a long time, and then he continued his words lightly, with a little teasing in his tone, but more emotion, "I think, compared to before , he is living like a normal person now."
Xiao Sui couldn't understand the meaning of Lian Wei's words for a while, and subconsciously asked softly, "Huh?"
"It turns out that he will also be sad." Lian Wei said seriously, and the corner of his mouth gradually drew an arc, "I always thought he was a person without emotions, before yesterday."
With such a simple but serious explanation, Xiao Sui already understood after hearing half a sentence.
It's just that it doesn't seem like an explanation. Instead, he chuckled along with Lian Wei's words, "Everyone has a lot of cherished emotions, and they are never strange to others."
After finishing speaking, facing Shang Lianwei's slightly raised eyes, the smile gradually deepened, "And we are the others in his eyes."
Time slipped past noon.
Even the medical records on Wei's desk have been gradually sorted in the order he needed, piled up on the desk, and his body is slightly covered from afar.
Xiao Sui read the last picture of the thick book he picked up casually from Lianwei's bookshelf, closed the page in some difficulty, and yawned with his mouth half open, "Aren't you the dean? Need you to do it yourself?"
Lian Wei did not respond to anything, and carefully bound the last piece of paper into the folder at hand, sorted out the angles of each document with his hands, then got up and went to the faucet, rolled up his cuffs and began to answer just now. "Don't you think this is a very interesting job, as if you can see a lot of this person's past."
Although spying on the past is nothing unusual, looking for clues from medical records is really a quirk of a doctor.
Xiao Sui naturally couldn't understand this kind of normal research with an academic nature. He got up and put the book back on the shelf, and stretched lightly, "What about Chi Ke Ke's past, can you see it?" ?”
"It doesn't matter if I can see it or not." Lian Wei was cleaning his nails carefully with foam on his hands, "The most important thing is that someone can see it."
After speaking, rinse the foam off with water, and lightly shook his hands twice, "Only by facing it can the value of what you see be reflected."
Before Lian could finish his next words, the phone in the room rang suddenly.
Being interrupted, Lian Wei didn't have any special reaction. He gently listened to the first word that had already been uttered, walked over to pick up the phone at a normal speed, and listened carefully, from beginning to end. Tai also had only one sentence, "I see."
Hanging up the phone, dialed a number again, waited for a while, sighed softly and hung up, looked up at Xiao Sui, "I think, you can go back."
The call was from the inpatient department.
Just now, during the regular ward rounds, the nurse who took the blood pressure test found that Jian Yanzuo and Chi Qiaoqi's wards were inexplicably empty.
The head nurse adjusted the monitoring, and reported to Lian Wei as soon as it was confirmed.
They left one after the other without going through any formalities or saying hello to anyone, as calm as entering and leaving their own apartment.
After listening to Lian Wei's description, Xiao Sui pulled out his cell phone angrily, "At this juncture, in his current state, it will be all over if he is photographed, the old man must blow up..."
"Then you should think about how to hide it from the old man." Lian Weilian looked at Xiao Sui helplessly, "I called just now, and the phone was turned off."
Xiao Sui listened, threw his phone on the table, covered his face with his hands and exhaled fiercely, "I really owe him in my previous life."
"I don't know if you owed him or not in your previous life." Lian Wei raised his eyes lightly, with a gentle tone, "But in this life, he must still have a large debt to pay."
Chi Qiaoqi returned to Weiting Xiaozhu.
Get out of Lianwei Hospital, take a taxi to the downstairs of Weiting Xiaozhu, park the car, get off, and go upstairs.It's like coming back from a day of shopping outside, extra tired, but nothing special.
Jian Yan drove the car on the left and followed her all the way downstairs.
The following is not tight, the speed of the car is fast and slow, and I lost a short distance in the middle, and after adjusting, I caught up again.
It wasn't because she was afraid that she would find out, she didn't have the energy to care about her surroundings, and he didn't deliberately avoid being discovered by her.
It's like she came out of the hospital and didn't avoid him on purpose.
The taxi was waiting downstairs and didn't leave.
Jian Yan Zuo quietly turned off the engine and parked the car at the corner.The car windows were lowered slightly, and outside air came in, and after a little replacement, I felt that breathing seemed not so strenuous.
Then, he slowly leaned back in his chair and lit a cigarette.
Subconsciously, it seems to be instinct.But after reacting for a while, he didn't stop this behavior that was no different from suicide.
In fact, his cigarettes were not very fierce. Many times before, he just wanted to try the taste of a certain type of cigarette.In this regard, compared with Xiao Sui who only smokes silver Treasurer, Jian Yanzuo is not a long-term and serious person. He will try all kinds of varieties and flavors as long as he is in a good mood. , just to try it out.
But recently, he seems to have gradually developed a habit of smoking a cigarette when he is in a bad mood.
This is not a good phenomenon, but at this moment, he never thought of correcting it.
Jian Yan pinched the cigarette with the fingers of his left and right hands, and took a deep breath.The unprecedentedly strong smell entered the body along with the breath. The feeling was like sucking in a handful of embroidery needles.The pain is small but sharp.One pain point after another, the rhythm is fast, as if each needle can directly pierce the flesh.
Smoke rose in the confined space, Jian Yanzuo finally couldn't restrain himself and began to cough.
This is pain.
Most of the time, it can always attract people's attention.And, it's hard to ignore.
But she is destined not to feel this slightly cruel and painful word.
Jian Yan Zuo can never imagine what pain means in Chi Qiaoqi's world.
She should have known, even if she never really felt it.And he has always let her understand, no matter how expensive it is.
So, when that knife entered his body, he didn't dodge or flinch.At that moment, he hoped to use everything that happened next to teach her what pain is.
It's just that even if she will understand the meaning of pain one day, she may never understand that his momentary pain was not because of the knife that entered along the flesh.
It's because the person holding the knife on the other side is her.
Chi Qiaoqi quickly came down from upstairs, carrying the small suitcase that Jian Yanzuo felt familiar with.
She had disappeared with it for a while before reappearing in front of him.Such a surprise, he will never forget.It's like finding something lost, but it's even more gratifying than that.
Only this time, he probably won't have such good luck again.
Jian Yan Zuo slowly turned the car around and followed.
The window was lowered slightly, and the wind blew in smoothly.The sight, including the sound, was finally a little clearer.
Jian Yanzuo didn't know if he could hold on to the moment he expected. At this moment, in his world, it seemed that there was only the faint shadow in front of him.But even vaguely, it trumps everything.
The car didn't stop all the time, leaving the city, getting on the expressway, getting off the expressway, and entering the city.
During the 700-kilometer journey, Jian Yanzuo almost exhausted all his strength, but followed intermittently to the end.
Until Chi Qiaoqi's car stopped on the driveway in front of Chi's old house.
Jian Yan Zuo did not follow closely.From the moment he left the city, he already knew her destination.
In Lianwei Hospital, because of the registration information, the hospital temporarily kept her certificate.But even when she couldn't take the train or car, she still persisted for more than ten hours and returned here.
However, this is indeed the place where she should and is most likely to come, and it holds the most memories of them.Suitable for hiding, but also for healing.It is also a place where he would not bother even if he knew about it.
Jian Yan watched from the left as Chi Qiaoqi took out the key and opened the door. The moment the door was gently closed, his whole body seemed to be hollowed out by something in an instant, and he didn't even have the slightest bit of strength to support him.
Taking a deep breath, Jian Yan Zuo was coughing violently, his vision had been blurred to the point where only light and shadow remained.Faintly, like an impressionist painting, with large areas of color, but the boundaries of each range are completely indistinguishable.
He slowly closed his eyes, trying to gather enough strength to support himself in front of the door, but the moment he closed his eyes, his body gradually lowered out of control, touching the inherent texture of the steering wheel, Jian Yanzuo finally gave up his efforts.
In an instant, the whole world was completely blank.
The key was inserted into the lock with a soft click.Home, as before, retains the appearance of leaving a few days ago, and there is a sense of familiarity that seems to be deep in the bone marrow.
This is the second time Chi Qiaoqi has come back this month.But it was more like a comeback than last time.
Only this time, only by herself.
Chi Qiaoqi put all his things down, entered the room, slowly took off his shoes and coat, and then slowly lay down on the bed amidst the peaceful smell of the room.
She wrapped herself tightly in the quilt, but still felt cold.From the inside out, everything that can be touched has lost its temperature.But even so, she fell asleep quickly.
This night, like thousands of nights before, was as silent as if nothing would happen.
He's in the car, she's indoors.The distance is not close, but it seems to be caught in the same dream.
The laughter full of joy may be the joy after pranks when they were far away from adults when they were young.Or maybe, it was the joy of smiling at each other in a tacit understanding after growing up.
Very clear, but drifting away.
Jian Yan Zuo finally woke up in the early morning of the next day.
He originally had the car window half open, so when the rain gradually came in, he could clearly feel the wetness on his entire back.With the wind, there is some coolness.
Jian Yan Zuo slightly straightened up, wanting to move his sore back.But in an instant, he was frantically and violently torn apart by a sudden pain.
Subconsciously, he took a deep breath, but he couldn't help coughing violently before he could fully inhale.Accompanied by the pain that seemed to crush his entire chest, he finally woke up.
Jian Yan Zuo restrained himself for a while, but was swept away by bouts of coughing that became more severe, and he lost control of his breathing for a while.
Maybe he needs a drink of water.
As Xiao Sui said, he doesn't drive this car often, and there is no drinking water in the car.
But fortunately, his home is less than 200 meters away from him, Jian Yan thought about it, and reached out to find the key in the storage box.After finally finding it, the moment the hand touched and picked it up, it stretched to the wound, and during a violent cough, the key was dropped on the floor mat.
He calmed down his breath, groped for the approximate location, and slowly bent down to pick it up.
An action that was originally easy like breathing has become an insurmountable difficulty for him now.Before it was halfway down, in the severe pain, he could only be forced to stand still.
Reluctantly returning to the original angle, Jian Yan Zuo recalled that there should be a 24-hour convenience store nearby.
Finally, gathering enough strength to open the car door, he got out of the car with some bumps.The footsteps were a little staggering, but fortunately the road was not far away.
Jian Yanzuo's memory didn't show any deviations, and there were indeed open convenience stores around.
He bought a bottle of water and a box of his usual painkillers.
When going to the counter to check out, the little girl at the cash register was probably frightened by his not-so-good looks, and eagerly reported the amount of money, then took a step back timidly.
Jian Yan Zuo also didn't intend to explain. After paying the money, he didn't even wait for the change. He pushed the door out and didn't delay for a second at the door. His steps were a bit erratic, but it was already much faster than before.
When he opened the door, his face was reflected on the window glass, so clear, it looked like a suspect who was injured and fled.
Jian Yanzuo tried to pull the door of the car, but was extremely tired, and even the movement of stepping in with his legs was extremely difficult.
Simply, standing leaning against the car door, tore off the tinfoil package of the painkiller, took out the two pills inside, and took it into his mouth.Throwing the medicine box away regardless, he freed his hand to unscrew the cap of the bottled water.Some tight, with the rain, very slippery.
He tried twice, but failed to unscrew it smoothly.I no longer have the extra strength to try, it seems that even holding the bottle is something that can only be done with all my strength.
Jian Yanzuo finally gave up, let go of his hand, and with the muffled sound of the bottle falling, he slid down the car door to the ground, finally able to take a short rest.
Without water, the medicine gradually began to dissolve on the tip of the tongue, very bitter.But it seems that the medicine is taking effect very quickly, except for some vague consciousness, the pain has been reduced to the point where it can hardly be felt.
Jian Yan Zuo raised his left hand hard, struggling to see the time clearly.
At four fifty, it was almost dawn.
Jian Yanzuo almost watched the sky brighten up little by little.Because it is raining, the light is very slow and not obvious.When it was fully lit, it was already after seven o'clock.
With a slight glance, an umbrella has already been stretched out at the door of Chi's house.
Jian Yan grabbed the car door from the left and supported herself a little bit to stand up, opened the car door almost with all her strength, and moved herself into the car with difficulty.
Close the door and raise the window.Just when everything came to a standstill, Chi Qiaoqi happened to be holding an umbrella and passed by slowly at a distance of more than ten meters.
She seemed to be well rested, she had changed into a very ordinary dress, she had no other emotions, and she was dry.Although there is no more information, at least it can be seen that it is better than when it was in the hospital.
Jian Yan Zuo finally felt at ease, and tried his best to adjust his position on the driver's seat. With his left hand against the wound, he leaned down, and his right hand began to grope for the approximate location of the key.
He'd tried it once before and it wasn't any easier this time, but he had no intention of compromising.In any case, he needed to go inside and rest, or, if he had the energy, a change of clothes.
After going on for a long time, Jian Yan's left fingertip finally touched the key with a cold texture.He turned his body a little more, gritted his teeth and lowered it a little bit, and finally picked it up.
After standing there for a long time, Jian Yanzuo finally gathered his strength and got up slightly.As soon as the supporting hand was slightly removed, an unusual taste was instantly felt in the mouth.
Subconsciously bowed his head.From the crevices between the fingers of his left hand, blood had already begun to ooze out.
Breathing is already a bit difficult, Jian Yan opened his mouth to the left, and began to work hard to adjust the frequency of breathing.The next second after it gradually eased, I could clearly feel the peculiar smell in my mouth, very clear fishy sweetness.
Jian Yan completely gave up the idea of staying here in an instant, pressed the start button of the car, and drove the car away with his remaining consciousness.
When turning right at the intersection, Jian Yan saw Chi Qiaoqi from the far left.The approximate pattern and color on the bag in his hand is the logo of a breakfast shop that they both used to like not far away.
She held an umbrella and walked unhappily.The distance between them is not far, and it seems that they can get close within a few steps.But under the umbrella, she didn't see him.Step by step, walk steadily and simply, as if you are just living in your own world.
They slowly missed her. In the rearview mirror, her background became more and more blurred, but he didn't slow down, and she didn't look back.
One last look at it, roughly.As his vision became more and more blurred, Jian Yanzuo finally smiled.
The driveway, where it should have been, was gone.
Chi Qiaoqi stopped, stood there in a daze for a while, and then walked into the house without stopping.
She knew that Jian Yanzuo had guarded her outside the door all night, just like she knew that he would let her go quietly.This is where she is most grateful to him, always knowing exactly what she needs.
He has always been a qualified brother.At least that's how she always thought of him when she thought of him as her brother.He will take her to familiarize herself with the environment, share playmates, take her to do things that everyone around her will like, and occasionally take her away from the sight of adults.
She was used to his teaching, his pampering, and everything he did for her, so she took it for granted that he would always be with her in her life and would never leave.
Her firm belief has never wavered from an incident in her childhood to six years ago, nearly ten years ago.
That incident happened when he had just entered junior high school.At that time, she was still in elementary school, and she went to Jane's house to play by chance, but she ran into a certain girl who happened to be visiting in the living room.White blouse and pink gauze skirt, soft-spoken when speaking, and crooked eyes when she smiles, this is what he has been describing what he wants her to be.
She was a little uncomfortable because of the separation of the two campuses after he entered school, and she couldn't get along day and night like before.And the appearance of that girl caused the low self-esteem and dissatisfaction that had been hidden in her character to swell rapidly at that moment. It seemed that during the conversation of a few sentences, she stubbornly believed that she was abandoned because he found a better one.
Although they were not at the age where they could talk about youth at that time, and this matter itself had nothing to do with love, she still felt unwilling.
She racked her brains a few times, trying to call him out of the house, so as to put the girl aside, trying to prove her importance in this way.But he couldn't see his refusal at all, just out of politeness to the guests.As for her, he already regarded her as a family member, so she didn't have so many scruples.
But all this has become a disaster in her eyes.In the end, only she was counted against her cleverness.
So he lied that he was not feeling well and went home. At dinner, he didn't go to eat Du Luowei's newly tried red date shortbread as promised.
Seeing her like this when Qiao Duo and Chi Jinyuan came back, they only thought she had a temper tantrum.It never occurred to her that she had gotten into her own horns and didn't know how to get out.
That night, Chi Qiaoqi didn't fall asleep until very late.In the end, he got up from the bed and dug out all the things he had given her from under the bed.
Toys, books, bracelets, models, and many other odds and ends.Find out the same ones, pile them on the carpet, and then light a fire with a lighter to burn them up little by little.
Her most direct thought at the time was just to burn these things that she had always regarded as treasures.Pure grievance, accompanied by a little bit of dissatisfaction.But she never expected that the fire would spread along the carpet so quickly.When Qiao Duo and Chi Jinyuan realized it, she was already trapped in the room and almost couldn't get out.
Fortunately, the fire was not too big.The firefighters were alerted, but the fire had already been extinguished by the time they arrived.Not much was lost, and even those that were intended to be burned were still intact.
But for the first time in his life, Qiao Duo hit her.A loud slap in the face, no pain.And in the next second, she was already under the protection of Du Luowei.
At that time, she finally cried out.Although I can't remember exactly what I said at the time.
But what she will never forget is her own most genuine emotions at that time.Very wronged, but more, is afraid.My brother didn't want her, and my mother beat her. After such a reckless behavior, I'm afraid she will never be liked by anyone again.She is redundant after all, even if she wants to learn to be sensible and learn to integrate into this family, she is still redundant after all.
The last memory of that day is that he walked over step by step.In front of the four adults, there is no dodge or scruples.He knelt down and wiped away her tears little by little with his hands. There was no comfort or reprimand. The only sentence, in the eyes of the four adults, seemed to have nothing to do with today's incident.
He said, "Others will always be others, and you will never become someone else."
The words were very difficult to pronounce. At that time, she was crying so hard that she couldn't even hear her clearly.But his affirmative eyes were enough to instantly stop all her tears of grievance.
Perhaps, at that moment, it was already recognized.So I never thought that one day, he would abandon her so mercilessly, and ruthlessly throw her into the abyss of despair when she needed it most.
But even so, she still couldn't hide her heart, trying to forgive and understand him.Although it may take a lifetime to forget all of this.But even if she only does this one thing in her life, she is willing to try.
Like, he will eventually forget all her faults and willfulness, and then only remember her who accompanied him through the best seasons and is willing to walk through all the days to come.
Chi Qiaoqi put the food bag on the table, the rice and soybean milk from Jin's shop, the small steamed buns stuffed with kidney beans, the tea eggs boiled with Tieguanyin, and the pickles seasoned with sesame oil, all of which he used to love .
She thought that as long as she pretended that everything was as it was, he would definitely wait for her to come back where she was.Then they can sit down together and have a seemingly normal breakfast.
However, he didn't wait for her to come back.
I must be disappointed in her.In his eyes, the little girl who always had kind thoughts and was always obedient to him has turned into such an unreasonable appearance.
Even she herself felt a little scary.
Chi Qiaoqi swallowed his portion of the meal one bite at a time, drank the whole bowl of hot soy milk, ate three salty steamed buns, and finally, with the pickles, slowly ate the one Warm tea eggs.
The stomach is slowly being filled, and I feel very full, as if I have never been so satisfied.
Cleaned up the dining table, washed the dishes, and put the tables and chairs back to their original state.One thing after another, without a pause, and there doesn't seem to be any space to think about anything else.
After doing this, Chi Qiaoqi began to clean the attic.The attic of the Chi family is only half the size of the first and second floors, and Qiao Duo was only used to store sundries back then, without any real purpose.
These years, the house has always been in Jian Yan's left hand. Although the attic is also involved in the cleaning, it is only cleaning, so all the things that were piled up in the attic are still there.The broken accordion, the beautiful boxes used to hold clothes, the three-wheeled red-painted cart that almost every child had when they were young, and many large and small cardboard boxes without contents.
Chi Qiaoqi dragged them down from the attic one by one, sorted them into packages, and piled them up outside the gate.There were almost no trivial things in the entire attic. After the large items were dragged out, they were quickly emptied, revealing their original appearance.
The light yellow wall paint is still intact, only a little mottled.Very smooth concrete floor, but a little bit cold.The lights on the ceiling are simple light bulbs, the light is a little weak, but still on.Although it's been a long time, everything is almost consistent with what she remembers.
It took Chi Qiaoqi five days to tidy up the area of less than [-] square meters.
During this period, a construction team was even used.Change the wall paint, lay the floor, cloth upholstery, make a suspended ceiling, install ceiling lights, build closets, and water pipes.She put everything she could think of into practice.
She needs such a place that can give her space, let her breathe, and let her regain the self that has accumulated all kinds of confidence and is determined to start everything again.
Five days later, all the previously ordered items were finally delivered.Sewing machines, hemming machines, ironing machines, punching machines, sets of scissors, needles and threads, fabrics in sheets and rolls, accessories packed in boxes, and other miscellaneous sundries filled the entire building. Attic room.
This is what Chi Qiaoqi is best at and what she can't let go of. It is like the rehabilitation training done by some disabled people, which can gradually bring her back to normal in the most subtle places.
She needs such a trivial and dense life, and more needs, in such an environment, to gradually get better.
Chi Qiaoqi began to talk to the doctor surnamed Cheng every night, took medicine on time, and worked normally.
Every two days, take an hour and a half flight to do face-to-face counseling.Every other week, undergo a thorough checkup at the clinic.
She no longer dodged, no longer evaded, no longer deceived herself.Because she understands better than anyone else that if you don't face all the things, you can treat them as if they never happened.
Such courses will always be cumbersome, like rearranging yourself.But Chi Qiaoqi did not cope. She accepted each stage of rehabilitation seriously, shared all her feelings and obstacles with the doctor in detail, and tried her best to follow the plan formulated for her to regulate herself.
She also understands that all of this cannot completely erase the things she tried to forget from her memory overnight, and it will take an extremely long time and a process of slow progress, but she is willing to do it step by step. finished.No matter how difficult it is, even if you are alone.
During a routine inspection, Chi Qiaoqi's incision was successfully removed with stitches.The nurse next to Dr. Cheng was very patient, and the process of removing the stitches ended quickly during the chat.
Before bandaging again, Chi Qiaoqi took a look at the incision, and it was very clean. Although the suture marks were still obvious, judging from the signs of healing, it would definitely become shallower and shallower with time.
What about him, has he also healed?
If both of their injuries have healed, what about them.
Thinking this way, Chi Qiaoqi was a little lost in thought, completely oblivious to the fact that Cheng Tu had come to him.
"What are you thinking?" Cheng Tu slightly lowered his head, his voice was as calm as ever.
Chi Qiaoqi came back to his senses a little, and joked a bit, "I was wondering why in your psychological clinic, there is a female nurse who is so good at removing stitches, and her level of telling jokes is much higher than yours."
Cheng Tu laughed for a moment, "This is purely personal charm."
It seems that all doctors have such an inner charm, or maybe it's just that Chi Qiaoqi just happened to meet two of them.
Cheng Tu's tone of voice was very similar to Ye Ce.Even the lines of smiling are as dense as Ye Ce's.In particular, at certain times, like Ye Ce, he is always a little fatherly and tolerant, and he is always very patient with Chi Qiaoqi.
Chengtu never treats her as a patient, but treats her like a little girl who just gets lost occasionally.There may be small emotions, but I never want to deliberately hurt others.
He would even often joke with her, "If it wasn't for Cheng Shu who had already engaged to a girl from the Ye family, I would have told him that he could pay more attention to you."
Chengshu, Chengtu's son, is less than two years older than Dora, a very shy little boy.When he speaks, he is serious, like an old pedant.However, it is very cute.
(End of this chapter)
When Xiao Sui arrived, it was already the second day, and he had accumulated a lot of complaints, but now he couldn't get together at all.
Xu Mo arrived that night, handled everything decently and meticulously, and then stayed overnight outside Jian Yanzuo's ward.Seeing Xiao Sui coming over, his tired expression relaxed slightly, "Have you finished dealing with the matter over there?"
"Don't mention it." Xiao Sui's irritated tone was undisguised, "That old fox Jian Xiangshen must be having fun somewhere now."
After finishing one sentence, Xu Mo didn't need to ask any more.What's more, such a situation was already within their expectation long before Jian Yan's left response arrived.
"How's the situation here?" Xiao Sui asked a little hesitantly, and his doubts suddenly appeared, "Maybe I heard it wrong, how could Little Shell do it?"
"She will indeed." Although Xu Mo couldn't explain the reason, but the description was affirmative, "I heard from Dean Lian that the scalpel was inserted into the left lung through the space between the ribs. Judging from the wound formed, the strike was very fast and powerful. , and without hesitation."
This is what Xiao Sui admires most about the profession of doctors. No matter how chaotic the situation is, he can always use the most concise and concise professional language to describe it clearly.Simple description, without any emotion, but the meaning I want to express is already very clear.
Xiao Sui didn't doubt Lian Wei's judgment, he seldom made inferences, once confirmed, it was authority.
However, Xiao Sui still couldn't force himself to believe that the little girl who was always full of kindness in his eyes would be so determined to personally hurt a person who had always cherished her like a treasure.
She has always been pure in mind, and she can't bear to hurt everyone who treats her well.Just like before, she would call Jian Yanzuo in a panic in the middle of the night, just because she didn't know how to properly reject a boy who had always been nice to her but suddenly wooed her.
At that time, Jian Yanzuo always listened very carefully and spoke softly, like a father watching his daughter gradually leave his arms.
But there is no camouflaged expression, and his nervousness will always be revealed bit by bit.
At that time, after Jian Yan Zuo Hui hung up the phone, he smiled helplessly and sighed to Xiao Sui, "Look, if I don't plan to go back, this silly girl will probably be abducted by other bad boys."
Xiao entourage never thought that this silly girl in Jian Yan's left mouth, this little girl in his eyes, would one day be like this, with poisonous thorns all over her body, not only stabbing herself, but also stabbing the one who was away from her. nearest people.This is no longer the Chi Qiaoqi in Xiao Sui's impression, the Chi Qiaoqi who only needs a few words of love or pampering, and is satisfied enough to be happy all day long.The simplicity and purity seem to have long since disappeared in such a complex and slightly sour scene.
Xiao Sui took a deep breath, sat quietly for a while, and finally recovered, "Are you okay? I mean, the two of them."
"Everything is fine. Ms. Chi's fever subsided after more than five hours after the operation. Except for her mental state, everything is recovering well." Xu Mo said, reaching out to the ward next to him, "It's close to the ward of Mr. Doctors and nurses are always here."
After a pause, he continued, "That's fine, sir. After all, the rescue was timely. But even the dean said that the injury was in the lungs, so we need to pay more attention than usual."
Although it is very brief, it has explained everything very clearly.
Xiao Sui nodded, his heartbeat finally returned to normal, "Did you hide it from the old man?"
"I have already greeted the hospital. Fortunately, he has been living in the old house during this time, so it is still possible to completely block the news." Xu Mo followed what Xiao Sui was worried about, very steadily. The tone of voice gradually calmed Xiao Sui's heart.
Xu Mo has always been like this, always giving the most suitable arrangement in the most detail.For so many years, no matter what happened to me, I never panicked or lost my mind.Even with the people around me, the uneasiness in my heart will gradually dissipate.
When Xiao Sui entered, Jian Yanzuo was already awake. Seeing him coming, he greeted him as usual, and said nothing else.
There was a guarding nurse in the ward, who moved the seat from the side and placed it close to Jianyan's left, explaining a little to Jianyan's left, and quickly refilled a bottle of intravenous drip. Quickly take the door and leave.
Xiao Sui stood there until the sound of closing the door sounded, "How does it feel to be sent here by someone you like?"
"It's not very good." Jian Yanzuo's voice was a little hoarse, and the whole person's aura changed slightly at a glance, obviously losing a lot of energy, "As you can see, it's very embarrassing."
Finally did not try to be brave.
Xiao Sui sat down in satisfaction, put his right leg on his left leg, put his hands on the armrest, and his words were a little less aggressive, "I don't know if I should say you deserve it. Just wait and see." Don’t drive, run here to suffer this crime.”
Although it was a complaint, but after all, most of the lethality was lost.This is already the lightest that Xiao Sui can restrain, and Jian Zuo is of course clear.
In such an environment, he is destined not to live for himself.Every decision he makes should be worthy of the chips that are betting on him.
He has always understood better than anyone that he shouldn't have too much self-assertion.His existence should only be for Jane's.Do not overstep, do not escape.Take Jane's with his own hands, and then send it to a higher level of light.
This is his destiny that cannot be changed.And if you hesitate, you will be punished.
Perhaps, it was his punishment.Jian Yanzuo gently closed her eyes, finally feeling tired.
This kind of feeling rarely appears in his senses. Sometimes, even if he has been hovering between unsustainable persistence for several months, he still doesn't feel as tired as he is at this moment.
Tired of explaining, but also tired of being silent.It seemed that he only needed a second of blankness before he could completely fall into a dream.
But he also understood that even in the dream, his shoulders were still full of weight.From six years ago to this moment, it has never been relieved.Even, more and more heavy.
This silence lasted for a long time. During this period, there was no other sound in the ward.The only sound seemed to be the rhythmic sound of medicine dripping from the infusion tube, so subtle.
Then, Xiao Sui heard Jian Yanzuo's slightly hoarse voice, "If it were you, when Xiao Yi came back after leaving for a long time, no matter what she became, you would do your best to protect her. Hers, right?"
As proud as he is, he never makes such assumptions when he is sober.
But at this moment, Xiao Sui suddenly understood the meaning of Jian Yanzuo, "Xiao Yi is my own sister, so no matter what she becomes, even if she is injured or disabled, even if the people around her no longer recognize her, I will Keep her forever without complaint or regret. But you are different from Chi Qiaoqi. Even if you grow up together, love each other, and share the most precious memories of each other, you are not two people who will be together forever after all. Moreover, I think you can also see that the most important question now is not whether you can keep her, but whether she still needs what you think is good for her."
Xiao Sui didn't shy away from such sharp words, and Jian Yan didn't evade them.It wasn't the moment he was most sure of, but he had never wanted to face it like this moment.
Jian Yanzuo's voice sounded low and hoarse in the room, but mixed with it was his unswerving persistence, "Even if she no longer needs me, she must grow up to be able to live alone. "
At least, wait for her to be more fearless.Fearless and difficult, fearless and cold, you can warm yourself by yourself.At that time, even if she doesn't ask him, he will consciously send her away with his own hands.
"It's good that you have a decision." Xiao Sui stood up and pulled the seat aside, "No matter what you think in your heart, I hope you can remember what you said today."
At least, in the future, they will not hurt each other because of such sacrifices.In such a scenario, not only two people were injured.
When Xiao Suixuan opened the door and went out, Jian Yan saw a thin layer of sweat on Zuo's forehead.
This is No. 15 hours after the operation, the effectiveness of the anesthetic has basically disappeared, and he gradually began to feel pain.
This kind of pain is not the kind that wakes up immediately, but gradually returns.As he speaks, and breathes.
Every time it rises and falls, it seems that the suture thread is pulling around, and the exhaled breath seems to be boiling, burning the flesh.
This is the wound she left on him with her own hands, integrating all the pasts she wanted to get rid of.Accompanied by the feeling of the knife entering his body from the very beginning.One inch, another inch.No mercy, no pause.The pain was as severe as she was struggling.
It also seems that at this time, Jian Yanzuo really realized the meaning of a word, really, at the price of himself.
That word is heart-piercing.
Xiao followed Jian Yanzuo out of the ward, and happened to meet Chi Qiaoqi at the door.
Standing quietly like that, I don't know how long I stood there.Her eyebrows were lowered, her eyes were a little scattered, and her hair was scattered on her shoulders softly, making her even more helpless.
Her right hand rested on a metal crutch, which was not stable, but it barely supported her whole body.As if she was not used to it, her body shook inaudibly, but she still stood stubbornly.Seeing him come out, he stood where he was, didn't leave, and didn't go forward.
Xiao Sui left a narrow gap in the door, took a step forward, and got closer, "Do you want to go in and see him?"
Only then did Chi Qiaoqi slightly raise his head to look at him, and in his misty eyes, a lot of emotions that Xiao Sui had been used to all along were missing.
If you just briefly talk about the state of the left, it is called embarrassment.That Chi Qiaoqi's current state was called absent minded.
She didn't say a word, and she didn't shed a single tear in front of him, but Xiao Sui could really feel the great sadness emanating from her body.It seems to have lost the faith that has been supported for a long time, and there is a little depression and despair.
After a while, Xiao Suicai saw Chi Qiaoqi shaking his head gently.Then, before he could say anything else, she slowly turned her back and walked away step by step.
Da, da, da, da, da.
The heels and crutches tapped the ground rhythmically, the interval was very slow, and the walking was not smooth, even a little difficult.
But she didn't look back.
Xiao Sui couldn't bear to look any further, and quickly went out through the long corridor, and went directly to the corridor of Lianwei's office.
The door was unlocked, and Lian Wei was sitting neatly at the desk, sorting out the medical records.Seeing Xiao Sui come in, he flipped through the medical records with a calm face, took out a page from time to time and put it aside, the expression on his face did not change much from the beginning to the end.
He focused on the case without moving his eyes, until he was nagged by Xiao Sui for a long time, and then he continued his words lightly, with a little teasing in his tone, but more emotion, "I think, compared to before , he is living like a normal person now."
Xiao Sui couldn't understand the meaning of Lian Wei's words for a while, and subconsciously asked softly, "Huh?"
"It turns out that he will also be sad." Lian Wei said seriously, and the corner of his mouth gradually drew an arc, "I always thought he was a person without emotions, before yesterday."
With such a simple but serious explanation, Xiao Sui already understood after hearing half a sentence.
It's just that it doesn't seem like an explanation. Instead, he chuckled along with Lian Wei's words, "Everyone has a lot of cherished emotions, and they are never strange to others."
After finishing speaking, facing Shang Lianwei's slightly raised eyes, the smile gradually deepened, "And we are the others in his eyes."
Time slipped past noon.
Even the medical records on Wei's desk have been gradually sorted in the order he needed, piled up on the desk, and his body is slightly covered from afar.
Xiao Sui read the last picture of the thick book he picked up casually from Lianwei's bookshelf, closed the page in some difficulty, and yawned with his mouth half open, "Aren't you the dean? Need you to do it yourself?"
Lian Wei did not respond to anything, and carefully bound the last piece of paper into the folder at hand, sorted out the angles of each document with his hands, then got up and went to the faucet, rolled up his cuffs and began to answer just now. "Don't you think this is a very interesting job, as if you can see a lot of this person's past."
Although spying on the past is nothing unusual, looking for clues from medical records is really a quirk of a doctor.
Xiao Sui naturally couldn't understand this kind of normal research with an academic nature. He got up and put the book back on the shelf, and stretched lightly, "What about Chi Ke Ke's past, can you see it?" ?”
"It doesn't matter if I can see it or not." Lian Wei was cleaning his nails carefully with foam on his hands, "The most important thing is that someone can see it."
After speaking, rinse the foam off with water, and lightly shook his hands twice, "Only by facing it can the value of what you see be reflected."
Before Lian could finish his next words, the phone in the room rang suddenly.
Being interrupted, Lian Wei didn't have any special reaction. He gently listened to the first word that had already been uttered, walked over to pick up the phone at a normal speed, and listened carefully, from beginning to end. Tai also had only one sentence, "I see."
Hanging up the phone, dialed a number again, waited for a while, sighed softly and hung up, looked up at Xiao Sui, "I think, you can go back."
The call was from the inpatient department.
Just now, during the regular ward rounds, the nurse who took the blood pressure test found that Jian Yanzuo and Chi Qiaoqi's wards were inexplicably empty.
The head nurse adjusted the monitoring, and reported to Lian Wei as soon as it was confirmed.
They left one after the other without going through any formalities or saying hello to anyone, as calm as entering and leaving their own apartment.
After listening to Lian Wei's description, Xiao Sui pulled out his cell phone angrily, "At this juncture, in his current state, it will be all over if he is photographed, the old man must blow up..."
"Then you should think about how to hide it from the old man." Lian Weilian looked at Xiao Sui helplessly, "I called just now, and the phone was turned off."
Xiao Sui listened, threw his phone on the table, covered his face with his hands and exhaled fiercely, "I really owe him in my previous life."
"I don't know if you owed him or not in your previous life." Lian Wei raised his eyes lightly, with a gentle tone, "But in this life, he must still have a large debt to pay."
Chi Qiaoqi returned to Weiting Xiaozhu.
Get out of Lianwei Hospital, take a taxi to the downstairs of Weiting Xiaozhu, park the car, get off, and go upstairs.It's like coming back from a day of shopping outside, extra tired, but nothing special.
Jian Yan drove the car on the left and followed her all the way downstairs.
The following is not tight, the speed of the car is fast and slow, and I lost a short distance in the middle, and after adjusting, I caught up again.
It wasn't because she was afraid that she would find out, she didn't have the energy to care about her surroundings, and he didn't deliberately avoid being discovered by her.
It's like she came out of the hospital and didn't avoid him on purpose.
The taxi was waiting downstairs and didn't leave.
Jian Yan Zuo quietly turned off the engine and parked the car at the corner.The car windows were lowered slightly, and outside air came in, and after a little replacement, I felt that breathing seemed not so strenuous.
Then, he slowly leaned back in his chair and lit a cigarette.
Subconsciously, it seems to be instinct.But after reacting for a while, he didn't stop this behavior that was no different from suicide.
In fact, his cigarettes were not very fierce. Many times before, he just wanted to try the taste of a certain type of cigarette.In this regard, compared with Xiao Sui who only smokes silver Treasurer, Jian Yanzuo is not a long-term and serious person. He will try all kinds of varieties and flavors as long as he is in a good mood. , just to try it out.
But recently, he seems to have gradually developed a habit of smoking a cigarette when he is in a bad mood.
This is not a good phenomenon, but at this moment, he never thought of correcting it.
Jian Yan pinched the cigarette with the fingers of his left and right hands, and took a deep breath.The unprecedentedly strong smell entered the body along with the breath. The feeling was like sucking in a handful of embroidery needles.The pain is small but sharp.One pain point after another, the rhythm is fast, as if each needle can directly pierce the flesh.
Smoke rose in the confined space, Jian Yanzuo finally couldn't restrain himself and began to cough.
This is pain.
Most of the time, it can always attract people's attention.And, it's hard to ignore.
But she is destined not to feel this slightly cruel and painful word.
Jian Yan Zuo can never imagine what pain means in Chi Qiaoqi's world.
She should have known, even if she never really felt it.And he has always let her understand, no matter how expensive it is.
So, when that knife entered his body, he didn't dodge or flinch.At that moment, he hoped to use everything that happened next to teach her what pain is.
It's just that even if she will understand the meaning of pain one day, she may never understand that his momentary pain was not because of the knife that entered along the flesh.
It's because the person holding the knife on the other side is her.
Chi Qiaoqi quickly came down from upstairs, carrying the small suitcase that Jian Yanzuo felt familiar with.
She had disappeared with it for a while before reappearing in front of him.Such a surprise, he will never forget.It's like finding something lost, but it's even more gratifying than that.
Only this time, he probably won't have such good luck again.
Jian Yan Zuo slowly turned the car around and followed.
The window was lowered slightly, and the wind blew in smoothly.The sight, including the sound, was finally a little clearer.
Jian Yanzuo didn't know if he could hold on to the moment he expected. At this moment, in his world, it seemed that there was only the faint shadow in front of him.But even vaguely, it trumps everything.
The car didn't stop all the time, leaving the city, getting on the expressway, getting off the expressway, and entering the city.
During the 700-kilometer journey, Jian Yanzuo almost exhausted all his strength, but followed intermittently to the end.
Until Chi Qiaoqi's car stopped on the driveway in front of Chi's old house.
Jian Yan Zuo did not follow closely.From the moment he left the city, he already knew her destination.
In Lianwei Hospital, because of the registration information, the hospital temporarily kept her certificate.But even when she couldn't take the train or car, she still persisted for more than ten hours and returned here.
However, this is indeed the place where she should and is most likely to come, and it holds the most memories of them.Suitable for hiding, but also for healing.It is also a place where he would not bother even if he knew about it.
Jian Yan watched from the left as Chi Qiaoqi took out the key and opened the door. The moment the door was gently closed, his whole body seemed to be hollowed out by something in an instant, and he didn't even have the slightest bit of strength to support him.
Taking a deep breath, Jian Yan Zuo was coughing violently, his vision had been blurred to the point where only light and shadow remained.Faintly, like an impressionist painting, with large areas of color, but the boundaries of each range are completely indistinguishable.
He slowly closed his eyes, trying to gather enough strength to support himself in front of the door, but the moment he closed his eyes, his body gradually lowered out of control, touching the inherent texture of the steering wheel, Jian Yanzuo finally gave up his efforts.
In an instant, the whole world was completely blank.
The key was inserted into the lock with a soft click.Home, as before, retains the appearance of leaving a few days ago, and there is a sense of familiarity that seems to be deep in the bone marrow.
This is the second time Chi Qiaoqi has come back this month.But it was more like a comeback than last time.
Only this time, only by herself.
Chi Qiaoqi put all his things down, entered the room, slowly took off his shoes and coat, and then slowly lay down on the bed amidst the peaceful smell of the room.
She wrapped herself tightly in the quilt, but still felt cold.From the inside out, everything that can be touched has lost its temperature.But even so, she fell asleep quickly.
This night, like thousands of nights before, was as silent as if nothing would happen.
He's in the car, she's indoors.The distance is not close, but it seems to be caught in the same dream.
The laughter full of joy may be the joy after pranks when they were far away from adults when they were young.Or maybe, it was the joy of smiling at each other in a tacit understanding after growing up.
Very clear, but drifting away.
Jian Yan Zuo finally woke up in the early morning of the next day.
He originally had the car window half open, so when the rain gradually came in, he could clearly feel the wetness on his entire back.With the wind, there is some coolness.
Jian Yan Zuo slightly straightened up, wanting to move his sore back.But in an instant, he was frantically and violently torn apart by a sudden pain.
Subconsciously, he took a deep breath, but he couldn't help coughing violently before he could fully inhale.Accompanied by the pain that seemed to crush his entire chest, he finally woke up.
Jian Yan Zuo restrained himself for a while, but was swept away by bouts of coughing that became more severe, and he lost control of his breathing for a while.
Maybe he needs a drink of water.
As Xiao Sui said, he doesn't drive this car often, and there is no drinking water in the car.
But fortunately, his home is less than 200 meters away from him, Jian Yan thought about it, and reached out to find the key in the storage box.After finally finding it, the moment the hand touched and picked it up, it stretched to the wound, and during a violent cough, the key was dropped on the floor mat.
He calmed down his breath, groped for the approximate location, and slowly bent down to pick it up.
An action that was originally easy like breathing has become an insurmountable difficulty for him now.Before it was halfway down, in the severe pain, he could only be forced to stand still.
Reluctantly returning to the original angle, Jian Yan Zuo recalled that there should be a 24-hour convenience store nearby.
Finally, gathering enough strength to open the car door, he got out of the car with some bumps.The footsteps were a little staggering, but fortunately the road was not far away.
Jian Yanzuo's memory didn't show any deviations, and there were indeed open convenience stores around.
He bought a bottle of water and a box of his usual painkillers.
When going to the counter to check out, the little girl at the cash register was probably frightened by his not-so-good looks, and eagerly reported the amount of money, then took a step back timidly.
Jian Yan Zuo also didn't intend to explain. After paying the money, he didn't even wait for the change. He pushed the door out and didn't delay for a second at the door. His steps were a bit erratic, but it was already much faster than before.
When he opened the door, his face was reflected on the window glass, so clear, it looked like a suspect who was injured and fled.
Jian Yanzuo tried to pull the door of the car, but was extremely tired, and even the movement of stepping in with his legs was extremely difficult.
Simply, standing leaning against the car door, tore off the tinfoil package of the painkiller, took out the two pills inside, and took it into his mouth.Throwing the medicine box away regardless, he freed his hand to unscrew the cap of the bottled water.Some tight, with the rain, very slippery.
He tried twice, but failed to unscrew it smoothly.I no longer have the extra strength to try, it seems that even holding the bottle is something that can only be done with all my strength.
Jian Yanzuo finally gave up, let go of his hand, and with the muffled sound of the bottle falling, he slid down the car door to the ground, finally able to take a short rest.
Without water, the medicine gradually began to dissolve on the tip of the tongue, very bitter.But it seems that the medicine is taking effect very quickly, except for some vague consciousness, the pain has been reduced to the point where it can hardly be felt.
Jian Yan Zuo raised his left hand hard, struggling to see the time clearly.
At four fifty, it was almost dawn.
Jian Yanzuo almost watched the sky brighten up little by little.Because it is raining, the light is very slow and not obvious.When it was fully lit, it was already after seven o'clock.
With a slight glance, an umbrella has already been stretched out at the door of Chi's house.
Jian Yan grabbed the car door from the left and supported herself a little bit to stand up, opened the car door almost with all her strength, and moved herself into the car with difficulty.
Close the door and raise the window.Just when everything came to a standstill, Chi Qiaoqi happened to be holding an umbrella and passed by slowly at a distance of more than ten meters.
She seemed to be well rested, she had changed into a very ordinary dress, she had no other emotions, and she was dry.Although there is no more information, at least it can be seen that it is better than when it was in the hospital.
Jian Yan Zuo finally felt at ease, and tried his best to adjust his position on the driver's seat. With his left hand against the wound, he leaned down, and his right hand began to grope for the approximate location of the key.
He'd tried it once before and it wasn't any easier this time, but he had no intention of compromising.In any case, he needed to go inside and rest, or, if he had the energy, a change of clothes.
After going on for a long time, Jian Yan's left fingertip finally touched the key with a cold texture.He turned his body a little more, gritted his teeth and lowered it a little bit, and finally picked it up.
After standing there for a long time, Jian Yanzuo finally gathered his strength and got up slightly.As soon as the supporting hand was slightly removed, an unusual taste was instantly felt in the mouth.
Subconsciously bowed his head.From the crevices between the fingers of his left hand, blood had already begun to ooze out.
Breathing is already a bit difficult, Jian Yan opened his mouth to the left, and began to work hard to adjust the frequency of breathing.The next second after it gradually eased, I could clearly feel the peculiar smell in my mouth, very clear fishy sweetness.
Jian Yan completely gave up the idea of staying here in an instant, pressed the start button of the car, and drove the car away with his remaining consciousness.
When turning right at the intersection, Jian Yan saw Chi Qiaoqi from the far left.The approximate pattern and color on the bag in his hand is the logo of a breakfast shop that they both used to like not far away.
She held an umbrella and walked unhappily.The distance between them is not far, and it seems that they can get close within a few steps.But under the umbrella, she didn't see him.Step by step, walk steadily and simply, as if you are just living in your own world.
They slowly missed her. In the rearview mirror, her background became more and more blurred, but he didn't slow down, and she didn't look back.
One last look at it, roughly.As his vision became more and more blurred, Jian Yanzuo finally smiled.
The driveway, where it should have been, was gone.
Chi Qiaoqi stopped, stood there in a daze for a while, and then walked into the house without stopping.
She knew that Jian Yanzuo had guarded her outside the door all night, just like she knew that he would let her go quietly.This is where she is most grateful to him, always knowing exactly what she needs.
He has always been a qualified brother.At least that's how she always thought of him when she thought of him as her brother.He will take her to familiarize herself with the environment, share playmates, take her to do things that everyone around her will like, and occasionally take her away from the sight of adults.
She was used to his teaching, his pampering, and everything he did for her, so she took it for granted that he would always be with her in her life and would never leave.
Her firm belief has never wavered from an incident in her childhood to six years ago, nearly ten years ago.
That incident happened when he had just entered junior high school.At that time, she was still in elementary school, and she went to Jane's house to play by chance, but she ran into a certain girl who happened to be visiting in the living room.White blouse and pink gauze skirt, soft-spoken when speaking, and crooked eyes when she smiles, this is what he has been describing what he wants her to be.
She was a little uncomfortable because of the separation of the two campuses after he entered school, and she couldn't get along day and night like before.And the appearance of that girl caused the low self-esteem and dissatisfaction that had been hidden in her character to swell rapidly at that moment. It seemed that during the conversation of a few sentences, she stubbornly believed that she was abandoned because he found a better one.
Although they were not at the age where they could talk about youth at that time, and this matter itself had nothing to do with love, she still felt unwilling.
She racked her brains a few times, trying to call him out of the house, so as to put the girl aside, trying to prove her importance in this way.But he couldn't see his refusal at all, just out of politeness to the guests.As for her, he already regarded her as a family member, so she didn't have so many scruples.
But all this has become a disaster in her eyes.In the end, only she was counted against her cleverness.
So he lied that he was not feeling well and went home. At dinner, he didn't go to eat Du Luowei's newly tried red date shortbread as promised.
Seeing her like this when Qiao Duo and Chi Jinyuan came back, they only thought she had a temper tantrum.It never occurred to her that she had gotten into her own horns and didn't know how to get out.
That night, Chi Qiaoqi didn't fall asleep until very late.In the end, he got up from the bed and dug out all the things he had given her from under the bed.
Toys, books, bracelets, models, and many other odds and ends.Find out the same ones, pile them on the carpet, and then light a fire with a lighter to burn them up little by little.
Her most direct thought at the time was just to burn these things that she had always regarded as treasures.Pure grievance, accompanied by a little bit of dissatisfaction.But she never expected that the fire would spread along the carpet so quickly.When Qiao Duo and Chi Jinyuan realized it, she was already trapped in the room and almost couldn't get out.
Fortunately, the fire was not too big.The firefighters were alerted, but the fire had already been extinguished by the time they arrived.Not much was lost, and even those that were intended to be burned were still intact.
But for the first time in his life, Qiao Duo hit her.A loud slap in the face, no pain.And in the next second, she was already under the protection of Du Luowei.
At that time, she finally cried out.Although I can't remember exactly what I said at the time.
But what she will never forget is her own most genuine emotions at that time.Very wronged, but more, is afraid.My brother didn't want her, and my mother beat her. After such a reckless behavior, I'm afraid she will never be liked by anyone again.She is redundant after all, even if she wants to learn to be sensible and learn to integrate into this family, she is still redundant after all.
The last memory of that day is that he walked over step by step.In front of the four adults, there is no dodge or scruples.He knelt down and wiped away her tears little by little with his hands. There was no comfort or reprimand. The only sentence, in the eyes of the four adults, seemed to have nothing to do with today's incident.
He said, "Others will always be others, and you will never become someone else."
The words were very difficult to pronounce. At that time, she was crying so hard that she couldn't even hear her clearly.But his affirmative eyes were enough to instantly stop all her tears of grievance.
Perhaps, at that moment, it was already recognized.So I never thought that one day, he would abandon her so mercilessly, and ruthlessly throw her into the abyss of despair when she needed it most.
But even so, she still couldn't hide her heart, trying to forgive and understand him.Although it may take a lifetime to forget all of this.But even if she only does this one thing in her life, she is willing to try.
Like, he will eventually forget all her faults and willfulness, and then only remember her who accompanied him through the best seasons and is willing to walk through all the days to come.
Chi Qiaoqi put the food bag on the table, the rice and soybean milk from Jin's shop, the small steamed buns stuffed with kidney beans, the tea eggs boiled with Tieguanyin, and the pickles seasoned with sesame oil, all of which he used to love .
She thought that as long as she pretended that everything was as it was, he would definitely wait for her to come back where she was.Then they can sit down together and have a seemingly normal breakfast.
However, he didn't wait for her to come back.
I must be disappointed in her.In his eyes, the little girl who always had kind thoughts and was always obedient to him has turned into such an unreasonable appearance.
Even she herself felt a little scary.
Chi Qiaoqi swallowed his portion of the meal one bite at a time, drank the whole bowl of hot soy milk, ate three salty steamed buns, and finally, with the pickles, slowly ate the one Warm tea eggs.
The stomach is slowly being filled, and I feel very full, as if I have never been so satisfied.
Cleaned up the dining table, washed the dishes, and put the tables and chairs back to their original state.One thing after another, without a pause, and there doesn't seem to be any space to think about anything else.
After doing this, Chi Qiaoqi began to clean the attic.The attic of the Chi family is only half the size of the first and second floors, and Qiao Duo was only used to store sundries back then, without any real purpose.
These years, the house has always been in Jian Yan's left hand. Although the attic is also involved in the cleaning, it is only cleaning, so all the things that were piled up in the attic are still there.The broken accordion, the beautiful boxes used to hold clothes, the three-wheeled red-painted cart that almost every child had when they were young, and many large and small cardboard boxes without contents.
Chi Qiaoqi dragged them down from the attic one by one, sorted them into packages, and piled them up outside the gate.There were almost no trivial things in the entire attic. After the large items were dragged out, they were quickly emptied, revealing their original appearance.
The light yellow wall paint is still intact, only a little mottled.Very smooth concrete floor, but a little bit cold.The lights on the ceiling are simple light bulbs, the light is a little weak, but still on.Although it's been a long time, everything is almost consistent with what she remembers.
It took Chi Qiaoqi five days to tidy up the area of less than [-] square meters.
During this period, a construction team was even used.Change the wall paint, lay the floor, cloth upholstery, make a suspended ceiling, install ceiling lights, build closets, and water pipes.She put everything she could think of into practice.
She needs such a place that can give her space, let her breathe, and let her regain the self that has accumulated all kinds of confidence and is determined to start everything again.
Five days later, all the previously ordered items were finally delivered.Sewing machines, hemming machines, ironing machines, punching machines, sets of scissors, needles and threads, fabrics in sheets and rolls, accessories packed in boxes, and other miscellaneous sundries filled the entire building. Attic room.
This is what Chi Qiaoqi is best at and what she can't let go of. It is like the rehabilitation training done by some disabled people, which can gradually bring her back to normal in the most subtle places.
She needs such a trivial and dense life, and more needs, in such an environment, to gradually get better.
Chi Qiaoqi began to talk to the doctor surnamed Cheng every night, took medicine on time, and worked normally.
Every two days, take an hour and a half flight to do face-to-face counseling.Every other week, undergo a thorough checkup at the clinic.
She no longer dodged, no longer evaded, no longer deceived herself.Because she understands better than anyone else that if you don't face all the things, you can treat them as if they never happened.
Such courses will always be cumbersome, like rearranging yourself.But Chi Qiaoqi did not cope. She accepted each stage of rehabilitation seriously, shared all her feelings and obstacles with the doctor in detail, and tried her best to follow the plan formulated for her to regulate herself.
She also understands that all of this cannot completely erase the things she tried to forget from her memory overnight, and it will take an extremely long time and a process of slow progress, but she is willing to do it step by step. finished.No matter how difficult it is, even if you are alone.
During a routine inspection, Chi Qiaoqi's incision was successfully removed with stitches.The nurse next to Dr. Cheng was very patient, and the process of removing the stitches ended quickly during the chat.
Before bandaging again, Chi Qiaoqi took a look at the incision, and it was very clean. Although the suture marks were still obvious, judging from the signs of healing, it would definitely become shallower and shallower with time.
What about him, has he also healed?
If both of their injuries have healed, what about them.
Thinking this way, Chi Qiaoqi was a little lost in thought, completely oblivious to the fact that Cheng Tu had come to him.
"What are you thinking?" Cheng Tu slightly lowered his head, his voice was as calm as ever.
Chi Qiaoqi came back to his senses a little, and joked a bit, "I was wondering why in your psychological clinic, there is a female nurse who is so good at removing stitches, and her level of telling jokes is much higher than yours."
Cheng Tu laughed for a moment, "This is purely personal charm."
It seems that all doctors have such an inner charm, or maybe it's just that Chi Qiaoqi just happened to meet two of them.
Cheng Tu's tone of voice was very similar to Ye Ce.Even the lines of smiling are as dense as Ye Ce's.In particular, at certain times, like Ye Ce, he is always a little fatherly and tolerant, and he is always very patient with Chi Qiaoqi.
Chengtu never treats her as a patient, but treats her like a little girl who just gets lost occasionally.There may be small emotions, but I never want to deliberately hurt others.
He would even often joke with her, "If it wasn't for Cheng Shu who had already engaged to a girl from the Ye family, I would have told him that he could pay more attention to you."
Chengshu, Chengtu's son, is less than two years older than Dora, a very shy little boy.When he speaks, he is serious, like an old pedant.However, it is very cute.
(End of this chapter)
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