speak humor, be humorous

Chapter 20 Humor in Interpersonal Communication (1)
No matter what industry you are in or what position you are in, humor can help you, make your work and career develop more smoothly, and make your social contacts more extensive.It can make you good at dealing with people, make friends, help you solve interpersonal problems, and teach you how to get out of embarrassing situations.Especially when you want to present a positive and optimistic image to win people's welcome and trust; when you want to encourage more people to work together to achieve goals, humor can play a greater role.

Humor makes you social
In this world, everyone has a different life path and a different outlook on life.In order to express one's own point of view, one must express it through social interaction in order to gain social understanding.To face life with humor should be the starting point of all outlook on life.

Anyone with life experience has experienced the importance of facing life's difficulties with humor.Humor is almost a buffer mechanism, and it clearly has no place for confrontation, disappointment, and pessimism.Humor is also almost a form of rapport, it makes people see things with kindness, tolerance, understanding and development.Such a view of life does not mean avoiding reality, and of course, it does not exclude that some problems in life can be dismissed with a smile.Living in the world and interacting with people with such an attitude towards life will eliminate many unnecessary disputes after all, and thus make many fellow travelers in life.

When a person has an optimistic attitude towards all kinds of difficulties in life, then the confidence to solve the difficulties arises.There is a saying in ancient China, "Don't judge a hero by success or failure." Here, you can add a sentence, "You can judge life with chicness."Living chicly is becoming the consensus of modern people on life.

Celebrities should have the same sense of normalcy as ordinary people when dealing with their work.If it is a lofty honor, it might as well be more chic.

If people use humor as a lubricant in their work, study, love, and family life, the effect is really marvelous. It will give people a kind of power to excite the soul, and make everyone approach the goal of success step by step.Similarly, in social communication, in the contacts between people, the power of humor is infinite.Humor is an art, the art of using your sense of humor to enhance your relationships with others and improve your honest evaluation of yourself.Convinced that we can discover based on the experience of others: how to press the button!Just as electricity is sent down the wires when we flip a light switch, a special force flows when we press our humorous button.We can channel this power of humor into direct communication with others.

With humor, we can learn to replace distress with laughter.Through the power of humor, we can place ourselves and others above pain.In fact, the strength of humor lies primarily in our emotions, not our intellect.Your power of humor is what you show in a lighthearted way.It can also express your sincerity, generosity and kindness.

Humor can lubricate interpersonal relationships, eliminate tension, relieve life pressure, and improve the quality of life.It can free us from ourselves and make us feel at ease with others.It also defuses frost and grants us good friends.It can cheer us up, boost our confidence, and save us from many unpleasant situations.

No matter what industry you are in, what position you are in, the power of humor can help you, make your work and career develop more smoothly, and make your social contacts more extensive.It can make you good at dealing with people, make friends, help you solve interpersonal problems, and teach you how to get out of embarrassing situations.Especially when you want to present a positive and optimistic image, you want to win people's welcome and trust, and when you want to encourage more people to work together to achieve goals, the power of humor can play a greater role.

Make good use of humor to make friends
As the saying goes: It is easy to do things if you have more friends; many friends have multiple paths; you can rely on your parents at home and friends when you go out... If you can make more friends and talk to them often, you will be open-minded, well-informed, happy, and Can learn from each other and comfort each other.Everyone knows the importance of friends, but in the vast crowd, it is not so easy to find like-minded friends.In fact, the hard way to find a bosom friend is the way to make friends, and making friends with humor is an effective way to make friends.When meeting strange friends, if you have a little humor, the atmosphere will become active and the communication will be smoother.

Famous painter Zhang Daqian and Peking opera artist Mei Lanfang are like-minded bosom friends, and they respect each other very much.At a banquet, Zhang Daqian toasted Mei Lanfang and said unexpectedly:

"Mr. Mei, you are a gentleman and I am a villain. Let me toast you first!"

Everyone was taken aback, Mei Lanfang didn't understand, and asked quickly, "Why did you say that, sir?"

Zhang Daqian replied loudly: "You are a gentleman - talk, I am a villain - do it!"

Zhang Daqian was witty and humorous, and his puns drew applause from all the halls. Mei Lanfang was so happy that he drank the wine in one gulp.

Many people have the heart to make friends, but they always suffer from the lack of effective methods. If we can all be like Zhang Daqian, speak witty and humorous, and treat people with sincerity.Well, one day there will be brothers everywhere.

In a narrow alley 2 cars met.The car stopped and neither driver gave way.After confronting each other for a while, one of the drivers took out a novel and read it with relish. Seeing this, the other driver stuck out his head and shouted loudly, "Hey, man, lend me a read after you finish reading it!"

One sentence made the driver who was reading a book laugh out loud, and backed up to give way.Afterwards, the two settled their suspicions and exchanged business cards.It turned out that the two people's homes were very close to each other, and later they became good friends.

The sudden humor made the two drivers who were unwilling to take a step back become good friends. We have to admire the humor and generosity of the driver who gave way.Small frictions like this are inevitable in life. If the conflicts are intensified at this time, both sides will suffer, and it is impossible to make friends.However, hostility can also turn into friendship if the heat of conflict can be reduced to zero with humorous words.

There are many ways of humor among friends, and they are often more tacit and happier.

A play by a friend of the French writer Dumas fils was staged, and the friend invited him to watch it together.Alexandre Dumas sat in the front row, but always counted back: "One, two, three..."

"What are you doing?" the friend asked.

"I'm counting the people who are dozing off for you," said Dumas jokingly.

Later, Dumas fils' "La Traviata" was performed.This friend was also invited to watch.This time, it was my friend's turn to look for someone who dozed off, and finally found one. The friend said, "There are also people who dozed off tonight!"

Dumas looked at the dozing man and said, "Don't you know this man? He fell asleep watching your play last time, and he hasn't woken up yet!"

The humor between Alexandre Dumas and his friends is based on a sincere friendship without hypocritical politeness. This kind of humor can further enhance the friendship between friends.It can be seen that humor is certainly important in the process of making friends.However, all humor must be based on a sincere starting point, so that people can feel your friendliness.

Once you have mastered the humorous making friends skills, you will no longer suffer from having no close friends. Strangers will become your new friends, and new friends will become your old friends.

Humor makes it easier for you to face interpersonal relationships
Humor is the lubricant of relationships.Humor can ease the intensified contradictions, thereby avoiding embarrassing scenes. Humor resolves the antagonism between the two sides and solves the problem better.American writer Trudeau said: "When we need to change the attitude of others from negative to positive, the power of humor has a persuasive effect. It is almost an effective prescription." He also said: "Humor helps you solve interpersonal problems. .When you hope to become a person who overcomes obstacles and wins the love and trust of others, never ignore this mysterious power."

Some people can't listen to the slightest "harsh words" in cooperation with others. As long as other people's words are slightly disrespectful, they will either get angry or try to defend themselves. In fact, it is unwise to do so.Not only will this not win the respect of others, but it will make people feel that you are difficult to get along with.Therefore, only by maintaining a happy mood, being humble, easy-going, and humorous in getting along with others can you make your cooperation with others more enjoyable.

George and his two best friends went to the woods to cut down trees, but his physical strength was no match for his two strong friends.When resting at night, their team leader asked everyone about the results of felling trees during the day, and a companion replied: "Jack felled 55 trees, I felled 49 trees, and George, an idiot, only felled 15 trees."

Although what the friend said was a joke, it was really not very pleasant to George.Just when George was about to get angry, he suddenly realized that the trees he felled were really few, just like mice biting off the tree bases when they made their nests. 15 trees."

In this story, George is a man who is good at controlling his emotions.He calmly faces his own shortcomings and other people's attacks in a humorous way, showing extraordinary endurance and a tolerant mind.

Humor not only resolves conflicts, but is also an art of heart-to-heart communication.People rely on the power of humor to break their closed shells, actively communicate with others, and make people feel your frankness, sincerity and kindness through humor.

In serious conversations and routine exchanges, people often have a feeling of wearing a mask to each other. People seem to only want to let others know their appearance, but let others not know their hearts. This kind of communication is extremely Difficult to go deep into, and social interaction without spiritual communication cannot be regarded as a successful social interaction.Humor allows people to see another side of you, a side that seems to be essential, human, unsophisticated, which is what humanity has in common.

US President Reagan once returned to his alma mater, and when he gave a graduation speech, he laughed at his grades at school.He said: "I just came back here to clear out my lockers in the school gym...but I'm very emotional to receive this award, because I used to think that only No. 1 is an honor."

This speech showing another side of myself has achieved very good results.

Austrian psychoanalytic master Freud said: "The most humorous person is the most adaptable person." Indeed, humor can make us respond freely in social situations, and we can use humor to resolve various crises and dilemma.

Once, Churchill, the British Prime Minister and Army Commander-in-Chief, went to inspect a unit.It had just rained, and when he was descending the steps after giving a speech on the temporary stage, he accidentally fell a somersault because of the slippery road.The soldiers, who had never seen their commander-in-chief stumble, laughed, and the accompanying officers panicked and didn't know what to do.Churchill smiled slightly and said, "This is more inspiring to the fighting spirit of the soldiers than the speech just now." The effect was indeed as Churchill joked. The soldiers felt a sense of intimacy and identification with the commander-in-chief, and they would definitely be more determined. Follow the orders of the commander-in-chief carefully, so as to fight more heroically.

Humor can also answer questions you don't want to hear.

A Finnish architect speaks very slowly, and the reporter who interviewed him was always worried about running out of time.In desperation, the reporter had no choice but to say: "Mr. Sha, time is running out, can you please hurry up?" After hearing this, Mr. Sha slowly took out his pipe and lit it, as slowly as he could, and lazily Said: "No, sir, but I can say less."

Use humor to resolve difficulties, answer difficult questions, safeguard one's own interests, defend one's dignity, without hurting the other party's feelings, and achieve good results, which are incomparable by other means.

In short, humor is the magic weapon of social success.Using the power of humor, we can be on the road to success through successful networking.Humor can bring us plenty of energy and perseverance, it has a lot of creativity.

Use humor to gain sympathy and understanding from others

Everyone is a member of society.Sometimes, at work, at home, or in the relationship with friends of the opposite sex, it is inevitable to encounter various frictions and collisions, especially some embarrassing incidents. At this time, adaptable humor and wit are needed to ease the atmosphere .For example, it is really difficult to ask the other party to return something that was borrowed from you.If you are too straightforward, you can easily hurt the other person's feelings.But Xiao Wang, a master of doggerel, used the doggerel to take back the umbrella that someone borrowed from him.

Xiao Wang has a good friend named Chen.Xiao Wang lent his only umbrella to this friend.But after a long time, this friend never mentioned the matter of returning the umbrella.Xiao Wang is really resourceful, he wrote a doggerel:

"I lent you the umbrella on a wet day, with great enthusiasm. Please return it to me before it is broken!"

Chen, who received the poem, also responded with two sentences:
"Since I have nothing to say, I'll just keep my mouth shut and give it back to you."

She immediately sent someone to deliver the umbrella.

Sometimes exaggerating one's own shortcomings can eliminate one's inferiority complex, gain others' understanding and sympathy with humor, and have interesting effects.For example, a very fat writer in the UK often responded to friends' concerns about his weight by saying: "I am three times more merciful than any man, because I can make three people stand up on the bus at the same time. Ladies benefit."

Showing who you are in a humorous way can also gain the recognition and respect of others.Being honest and open with people can sometimes lead to a sense of security that we ourselves doubt.Through the power of humor, we are more able to acknowledge this insecurity without taking it too seriously.Then we can clear our doubts, strengthen our self-concept, and secure the foundations of our lives.And we don't have to worry about being too open and honest, because we can trust that our shortcomings, background, past and present circumstances, through humor, have been understood, sympathized and respected by everyone, which is better than in the past when we tried to hide and escape. Well done.There is a story about Senator Dirksen from Illinois.

When Derksen first came to Congress, he heard his opponents make a big fuss about his family background at the speeches.The opponent's grandfather was a general, and his uncle was a state Supreme Court judge...

It was Dirksen's turn to speak:
"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "I am deeply honored to have such a lineage—I come from a long line of married people."

The poet McQueen once joked about the fact that he himself was "born from a relationship outside marriage". "I was born an illegitimate child," McQueen said, "but someone spends their life being an illegitimate child."

Maybe you feel you were born in the wrong time, or place, or family; or maybe you're embarrassed about your past economic circumstances and you're afraid someone will mention it.We're going to suggest ways that you can use the power of humor to resolve these little dilemmas.At the same time, you can also invent your own method to use.

"We've never been poor, and we've never been hungry. It's just that we sometimes delay our meals."

"I came from a poor family. When I was very young, other kids made model airplanes, but I made model hamburgers."

When humor helps us to be emotionally honest and open, we and those around us feel comfortable.Everyone has their own unspeakable secrets, and many great people who have achieved great achievements have shown us how to deal with personal past and achievements, and we can also learn a thing or two.

Humor Can Resolve Awkward Dilemmas in Interpersonal Communication

Accidentally knocking over a wine glass or stepping on a skirt in front of everyone, these small things will make us feel ashamed and embarrassed, and thus fall into an embarrassing situation.If you use a little humor to protect yourself at this time, you can easily get out of the predicament and change from passive to active.

At a banquet held by the company, an employee accidentally spilled a glass of wine on the chairman's bald head. Everyone present was stunned, and the employee turned pale with fright.At this time, the chairman calmly picked up a towel, gently wiped off the wine on the bald head, and said heartily, "Do you know? In fact, wine has no obvious effect on treating baldness."

How important is a humorous word at such an awkward moment.The chairman's wit and humor dispelled everyone's worries, and he also left a good impression of being smart, magnanimous, and wise, which is admirable.Don't be crazy about small things anymore, learn to face the embarrassment in life with humor, then the troubles will part ways with you.

People with a sense of humor tend to be quick in thinking and quick in response, calm and unhurried in complex environments, with witty remarks, and often rely on the power of humor to save themselves from danger.

During John Adams' campaign for the presidency of the United States, a Republican accused John Adams of sending his running mate, General Pincus, to England to choose four beauties as mistresses, two for Pincus and two for himself.John Adams laughed loudly after hearing this, and said: "If this is true, then General Pinks must have kept it from me and swallowed it all!"

The humorous language here subtly resolves an embarrassing situation and avoids unnecessary conflicts.As a certain philosopher said: "When our society is deeply understood through a humorous ability, when every citizen has been conquered by humor, we will be in a harmonious atmosphere." So , Try to use the power of humor to release yourself and make your spirit detached from all kinds of troubles in the world.Use humor to spice up your life and spice up your life.

(End of this chapter)