speak humor, be humorous

Chapter 22 Humor in Interpersonal Communication (3)
■When you talk and do things, you must leave a way for yourself, otherwise you will be very passive if you are caught by others.

◎ Calmness of those who know
William Henry Seewer, American politician, former governor of New York State, state senator.On the eve of the American Civil War, Seward attended a popular rally one day.Participants speculated about the recent secret movement of troops.A woman, noticing his silence, asked him defiantly, "Mr. Governor, what do you think of this? Can you guess where the troops might go?"

Seewo smiled and said, "Madam, if I didn't know the inside story, I would have told you my guess."

■In a social situation, the silent person may be the one who knows the inside story, at least the one who knows more information.

◎ The miracle of hot springs

A rheumatic patient visited a famous hot spring and asked the manager: "Is the water here really good for the body? Will I feel better after taking a hot spring bath?"

"Shall I give you an example?" said the manager. "There was an old man who came in last summer, so stiff he needed a wheelchair. He lived here for a month, and he rode his bike away without paying his bill."

■It is as precious as "golden apples falling on golden nets" to make guests feel tempted and full of joy.The words are not too much, but just right. The words may not express the meaning, but they must be appropriate.

◎ impatient
Feng Dao and He Ning were two high officials in the Five Dynasties.The former is slow-tempered, while the latter is just the opposite.

One day, seeing Feng Dao bought a new pair of boots, He Ning asked, "How much did it cost?"

Feng Dao slowly raised one foot: "Nine hundred words."

When He Ning heard this, he immediately became furious, and turned around to scold the servant: "Why did you pay [-] Wen for the pair of boots you bought for me?"

He Ning became more and more angry as he talked, but Feng Dao slowly raised his other foot and said slowly, "Don't worry, this one is only nine hundred characters."

■At any time, wait until someone else has finished speaking before expressing your opinion, so that you will take the initiative much more.

◎ Immediate effect
In Lini Park, many people like to walk on the grass. The "Don't trample" signs didn't help at all.

Later, after another wooden sign was erected in the park, no one walked on the grass again.The original sign read:

"The grass has been mined."

■In many cases, intimidation is much more effective than persuasion. This is already an abnormal state close to the normal state of people.

◎ How many lives do you have

One of the duke's servants remarked in the duke's presence that a certain archbishop was very magnanimous to his subjects.The duke heard this, and said: "He may be like that, because he wants his life but not his money." A jester immediately asked: "My lord, how many lives do you have yourself?"

■Because I am not willing to accept others' appreciation for others, some people will come up with one or another reason to refute, but I don't know that it is myself who have nothing to say.

◎ brainless

A man who doesn't talk through his head dances with a lady.

Man: "Are you married?"

Miss: "Not yet."

Man: "So do you have children?"

The young lady was furious and walked away.The man thought that he should not ask this question again next time.Later he danced with a woman.

Man: "Do you have any children?"

Woman: "There are two."

Man: "So are you married?"

■It is often said that prescribing the right medicine varies from person to person, just like this story, you should choose the questions to ask according to the object, otherwise it is a good thing but the result will often become worse.

◎ Modesty
Thomas Jefferson was the third president of the United States. In 1785 he served as ambassador to France.One day, he visited the apartment of the French foreign minister. "You took Mr. Franklin's place?" asked the foreign minister. "To succeed him, no one can replace him." Jefferson replied.

■The difference between one word and the meaning changes drastically.Especially in serious communication occasions, it is even more necessary to choose every word carefully.

◎ Does not hinder thinking

One day, an acquaintance visited the Russian chemist Mendeleev's house, and he chattered on and on. "Have I bored you?" asked the guest at last.

"No, no... Where did you go," answered Mendeleev, "go on, please, go on, you don't hinder me, I'm thinking about my own business..."

■You have self-knowledge.People who are annoying and don't know it, such people are probably the worst when it comes to dealing with interpersonal relationships.

◎ Knowledge and money

The father and son passed by the entrance of the five-star hotel and saw a very luxurious imported car.

The son said to his father disdainfully: "People who ride in this kind of car must have no knowledge in their stomachs!"

The father replied lightly: "People who say such things must have no money in their pockets."

■The verbal expression of views on things is sometimes just the expression of the opposite attitude in the heart.

◎ A piece of cake

Composer Giacomo Puccini and Italian musician and orchestra conductor Artur Toscanini are old partners.Every Christmas Giacomo sends his friend a piece of cake.One Christmas Eve, Giacomo had a quarrel with Artur and wanted to cancel the cake he was given, but it was too late and the cake had already been delivered.

The next day, Artur received a telegram from Giacomo: "The cake was sent by mistake." He immediately replied a telegram: "The cake was eaten by mistake."

■We sometimes make the mistake of helping others, but we still have to complain to vent our dissatisfaction.In fact, this is the stupidest kind of behavior, and it can't be more appropriate to describe it as "losing my wife and losing my army".

◎ Visitors

"Is this factory so small?" the wealthy American asked the escort.He is visiting a large metallurgical factory.He pointed to a storage tank and asked, "What's in here?"

"It's nothing, it's just the ink used by the factory office staff." The factory's escort replied.

■For those who are self-righteously arrogant, it is best to pay the same arrogance.

◎ Appreciation
The story happened in a restaurant.

"I really don't understand why some people say that the food here is not good! For example, the coffee here is very good!"

"Excuse me, sir. This is not coffee, this is chicken soup," said the waiter.

■For something that is too bad, it is better to give sincere criticism than inappropriate praise.

◎ Alarm clock
Wife: You said marrying me is worse than buying an alarm clock.

Husband: The alarm clock can stop it, but you can't.

■Excessive pouring out of language is a kind of venting for oneself, but it is a kind of torture for others.Sometimes, silence is often easier for us to get the respect we deserve.

◎ malicious
"Because more and more women are embracing the new style of easy clothing, such as miniskirts and dungarees," one wife was reading with gusto from a newspaper article, "accidents on the streets have been statistically cut in half."

At this time, the husband, who was watching TV, interrupted abruptly: "Then why don't you think of a way to completely eliminate traffic accidents?"

■Some people can always express some ulterior motives through high-sounding reasons.This is where we have to be careful.

◎ Only 20 minutes
In 1910, after Theodore Roosevelt resigned, he served as the special envoy of President William Taft to attend the funeral of King Edward VII of England and arranged a meeting with the German Kaiser after the funeral.The Kaiser arrogantly said to Roosevelt: "Come to me at 2 o'clock, I can only give you 45 minutes." Roosevelt replied: "I will arrive at 2 o'clock, but I am sorry, Your Majesty, I can only give you 20 minutes." [-] minutes for you."

■"Respect for others is to respect yourself".In terms of behavior and morality, this is like the two sides of a mirror. As much as you can give to others, you can reflect from others.Therefore, learning to respect others is our first lesson in gaining respect.

◎ Exotic animals
In class, the teacher asked: "Students, who can name a rare animal in South Africa?"

"Polar bear!" Xiaona stood up and answered without thinking.

"Son," the teacher said kindly to Xiaona, "you can't find polar bears in South Africa."

"I know!" Xiaona said, "Because of this, polar bears are rare animals in South Africa!"

■Exaggerated words have no real value and practical significance except for the illusory pleasure it brings to oneself and the sniffing smiles of others—the latter is what we should pursue and respect!
◎ The nun and the driver

A nun got into a taxi, and the taxi driver kept staring at her from the moment she got into the taxi.So she asked the driver, "Why are you staring at me?"

The driver replied, "I have a request, but I don't want to offend you."

The nun said: "My dear child, you will not offend me. If you have been a nun at my age and been a nun for so long, you have seen, heard or experienced all the right and wrong in the world. I don't believe you could have said anything that offended me."

"Then I'll say it, I always fantasize about being kissed by a nun."

The nun said, "Let me guess. First, you must have never been married. Second, you must be a Catholic."

The driver said very excitedly: "Yes, I am not married yet, I am a Catholic."

The nun said, "Okay then, drive the car into the alley ahead."

After the driver pulled the car into the alley, the nun granted his wish.When they returned to the road, the driver began to cry. "My dear child," the nun said, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, I broke the law of religion, I told a lie, I must repent, I am married, and I am a Jew."

The nun said, "Don't worry, my name is Blossom, and I'm going to the Halloween masquerade."

■When you desperately want something at all costs, don't think that you have become the master, maybe at this time you are the prey that another person wants at all costs.Those who fool others are often fooled by others.

◎ Mortgage
Customer: "Sorry, I can't pay for this meal because I forgot to bring the money."

Restaurant owner: "It's okay, please write your honorable name on the wall and pay for it when you come next time."

Customer: "That's not okay, other people will see my name."

Restaurant owner: "Take off your coat and hang it on the wall, so it can be covered?"

■Don't try to fool others with your own cleverness, because this will make you face more fools from others.

◎ Playing the piano and mending boots

Kulek is a great pianist in Germany, once he was invited to dinner by the rich man Bai Linke.Bai Link used to be a shoemaker.After the meal, the host asked the guests to play a tune, and Kulek had to obey.

Soon, the musician also invited Bai Link to dinner.After dinner, he brought out a pair of old boots.The rich man felt very strange, Kulek said: "Last time you invited me to listen to the music; today I invited you to mend boots."

■Being in favor of others is like incurring a debt. There will always be a day when you repay the debt, no matter how reluctant you are.

◎ Undisputed wisdom
There is a folk story about two people arguing.One said that in "Water Margin", there is a hero named Li Da who wields an axe, while the other insisted that his name was Li Kui.

The two argued endlessly, so they bet 20 yuan to find an authority on classical literature for evaluation.

The authority looked at the two with a smile for a while, and decided that the hero in "Water Margin" was Li Da, so the one who advocated Li Kui lost 20 yuan.

Afterwards, the "Li Kui faction" questioned why the authority decided the case so absurdly.The authority replied: "You only lost 20 yuan. That kid is so stubborn, we will kill him for the rest of his life. From then on, he believes that this hero is Li Da. Isn't he ugly for the rest of his life?"

■Sometimes, agreeing to fallacies is precisely the biggest punishment for fallacists.

◎ Dating
A college student went on a blind date, talked eloquently about the classmates in the class, and mentioned the nicknames of the classmates: White Rabbit, Erniu, Saohu, Laozhu. When he was tired of talking, the girl asked him: "You Did you major in animal management in college?"

■As the saying goes, "Talking is not speculative, half a sentence is too much." If you don't talk to the other party's heart, the more you talk, the more boring the other party will feel. Pay attention to the occasion when speaking, and know how to stop when talking about a certain topic.

◎ I only see myself

A proud rich man goes to see a philosopher.

The philosopher took him to the window and said, "Look out, what do you see?"

"I saw a lot of people," said the rich man.

The philosopher took him to a mirror again and asked, "What do you see now?"

"I only see myself," replied the rich man.

The philosopher said: "The difference between a glass window and a glass mirror lies in the thin layer of mercury. With this poor mercury, some people can only see themselves and not others."

■People usually only see themselves and not others.The words of the philosopher let the big money understand a truth: people are valuable to have self-knowledge, no matter how high your achievements are, you must know that there is a sky outside the sky, and there are people outside the people, and always remain humble and cautious.

◎ Been at sea for a long time

A man went to the market to buy fish. He picked up a fish from the fish stand and sniffed it on his nose. The fish seller was afraid that he would smell that his fish was not fresh, so he said angrily: "Sir, don't you buy it?" The fish is fine, what do you smell?" He replied, "I didn't smell it, I was talking to the fish."

"What did you talk to the fish about?"

"I asked the fish, is there any news in the sea recently?"

"How does the fish answer you?"

"The fish answered me that it doesn't know the news in the sea, because it has been at sea for a long time!"

■In some more sensitive business activities, being outspoken can only lead to the opposite of what you want, and using some diplomatic rhetoric properly can not only express your wishes tactfully, but also avoid falling into a passive and embarrassing deadlock.

(End of this chapter)