speak humor, be humorous

Chapter 41 Humorous talk (1)
Humor doesn't hurt anyone, it brings joy and joy.In social interaction, humor trades love for love, joy for joy, and joy for joy.Staying joyful and happy not only brings humor to yourself, but also makes others humorous.Because of his humor, he is known as the "National Goodwill Ambassador".

In high spirits: Mao Zedong's humorous talk
In my opinion, Mao Zedong is a very interesting and experienced man.He has the simple and innocent character of a Chinese farmer, has a sense of humor, and likes to laugh silly.Even when he was talking about himself and the shortcomings of the Soviet, he laughed a lot—but this childish laughter did not in the slightest shake his inner belief in the goal.He spoke so plainly and lived so simply that some might have thought him a little vulgar.However, he combined an innocent quality with sharp wit and worldly sophistication.

—— Snow

your lover may be surnamed zhang
This is a story that happened at a weekend party held in Zhongnanhai in 1962.

One day, Mao Zedong kindly asked the name of a lesbian next to him.

The lesbian told Mao Zedong that her name was Cui Ying.

After hearing this, Mao Zedong smiled humorously and said, "Then your lover may be surnamed Zhang?"

Cui Ying was at a loss when asked about it. Seeing this, Mao Zedong asked again: "Have you read "The Romance of the West Chamber"?"

At this time, Cui Ying had a sudden realization, and suddenly realized why Mao Zedong said that her lover might be surnamed Zhang.Because "The Romance of the West Chamber" is about the love story between Cui Ying and Zhang Sheng.Cui Ying couldn't help laughing at this thought, and Mao Zedong also started laughing.

her ears are on fire

Once, at a dance at Zhongnanhai Chunouzhai, Mao Zedong pointed to a girl who met Zhu Zhongli for the first time, and asked Zhu Zhongli: "Guess, what is her last name? Her ears are on fire!"

Zhu Zhongli couldn't answer for a while, Mao Zedong and the people around looked at Zhu Zhongli and laughed.

It took a long time before Zhu Zhongli said, "Her surname is Geng!"

Mao Zedong smiled and said: "I said you are a smart person! But her ears are not on fire, it's okay. She is not a grudge, but a loyal one."

Mao Zedong went on to say: "The most honest people are the best. Some people only say half a sentence when they meet people, and they refuse to give up all their hearts. This is not good. You must tell the truth, meet each other with sincerity, and have a noble style."

Everyone received a vivid and profound education amidst happy laughter. At the same time, Mao Zedong made the audience excited with his witty words!
I won't be afraid if you come
Not long after the founding of New China, when a new guard met Mao Zedong for the first time, he was very nervous.

Mao Zedong first asked him: "What's your name?"

The guard replied: "Zhang Baojin, the bow is Zhang Zhang, the treasure of the baby, the gold of gold and silver."

Mao Zedong smiled and said: "Okay, I won't be afraid if you come, because I have all the gold and silver treasures, so what are you afraid of?"

Zhang Baojin listened to Mao Zedong's witty words and hearty laughter, and the initial nervousness disappeared all of a sudden.

why are you called cheng siyuan
In 1965, when Mao Zedong met with Li Zongren and his confidential secretary Cheng Siyuan who had returned from overseas, after talking together, he asked Cheng Siyuan: "Why is your name Cheng Siyuan?"

Cheng Siyuan replied: "Siyuan just thinks far. It is because of thinking far that I came back to talk to Chairman Mao and the Communist Party."

Mao Zedong smiled, and then asked: "Do you have any typos?"

Cheng Siyuan replied: "No."

Mao Zedong said: "Well, let me give you an alias. There was a great writer in ancient my country, Han Yu, and his alias was Tuizhi. Now the alias I give you is 'Jinzhi'." Cheng Siyuan was deeply moved by the profound words.

Chiang Kai-shek weaned
One morning in the autumn of 1940, Mao Zedong went to Yan'an Marxism-Leninism Institute to give a speech.

After Mao Zedong talked about the situation in 1940, he compared the leaders of Japan's invasion of China to the cunning and most hated foxes, saying that they took advantage of the temporary victory of Germany, Italy, and fascists in Europe, and then they became proud again and raised their two claws to catch the enemy. people.One claw is called military attack, and the other claw is called political surrender.He said: "This fox has a big appetite and wants to launch the Pacific War. It first wants to invade Southeast Asia, and the other is to intensify its attack on China. The drastic changes in the international situation have made Chiang Kai-shek even more shaken. The danger of surrender has increased unprecedentedly. It must be estimated that the fourth year of the Anti-Japanese War will be the most difficult year. The Japanese army occupied Yichang, and hundreds of planes bombed Chongqing. The Yunnan-Vietnam Railway and the Yunnan-Burma Highway were cut off. The situation of Comrade Zhou Enlai from Chongqing shows that the capitulation theory of the Kuomintang diehards has reached the point where it is rampant. The situation at home and abroad is now dark clouds overwhelming the city!"

Mao Zedong paused, looked at the stern faces, changed the topic, and said: "The situation is grim, but the situation is also encouraging! The extremely serious political and economic crises caused by imperialist wars will inevitably lead to The outbreak of the revolution will inevitably lead to the collapse of imperialism. The Chinese revolution, our ongoing great national democratic revolutionary war, with the joint efforts of all party members, allied parties, allied forces and all the people of our party, will surely be able to overcome difficulties and expel the Japanese invaders , let them return my rivers and mountains. Our future is bright!"

Following that, Mao Zedong analyzed in detail the situation in our anti-Japanese base areas and the situation of anti-Japanese democratic regimes in various places, and clarified the party's tasks and strategies.Everyone was fascinated by what they heard, and each of them couldn't restrain the excitement in their hearts. They wished they could put on their wings, fly to the battlefield to kill the enemy, and fight to the death with the Japanese invaders.

Four King Kong and Pickle Jar
In 1947, after the victory of the Shajiadian Battle, Mao Zedong said in a speech at a meeting: "Hu Zongnan said he had the Four King Kongs. I think his 'King Kong' is not as good as the pickle jars of ordinary people." He also said: "The four of them We removed three tanks: He Qi, Liu Ziqi, and Li Kungang, and there is only one tank left, what is it called?—”

Before he finished speaking, someone shouted from behind: "It's called Li Riji!"

Mao Zedong pronounced "日" as "two" in his thick Hunan accent.Mao Zedong went on to say: "Yes, Li Erji, if you don't catch him this time, it's a lucky one; if you can't catch him next time, it's another lucky one; you won't be able to escape the third time!"

Mao Zedong made no secret of his victorious pride in his heart, and his humorous words made the audience burst into laughter.Mao Zedong brought the joy after the victory of the Shajiadian Battle to his comrades, which boosted their morale even more.

Bodhisattva has a heart attack

In late March 1948, after crossing the Yellow River to the east, the central party passed through Linxian, Xingxian, and Ningwu, left Yanmenguan and went south, then passed through Daixian and Fanshi counties, and arrived at Baqiang Village at the northern foot of Mount Wutai on April 3. When encountering heavy snow, stop advancing.

Here, Mao Zedong wrote documents such as "Telegram to the Luoyang Frontline Command after the Conquest of Luoyang".

The weather improved slightly, Mao Zedong decided to set off from Baqiang Village on April 4, and forcibly passed through Mount Wutai.However, shortly after going up the mountain, the temperature changed suddenly, and heavy snow fell. The roads, ravines, and hillsides were all covered and unrecognizable. Mao Zedong had to get out of the car and walk.After passing the main peak of Mount Wutai and arriving at Taihuai Town, the group decided to rest and lived in the front yard of the temple in Mount Zhongtai.

The next day, Mao Zedong spent the whole day looking around.

In the storage room of the temple, Mao Zedong saw many scriptures and various tributes. He told the local cadres to protect these cultural relics and not lose them.

When he arrived at a large temple, Mao Zedong saw a big hole in the chest of a bodhisattva in the middle, and asked the local cadres: "What's going on?"

Someone replied: "This is when the peasants broke up during the land reform and settled with the temple. They heard that there was gold hidden in the chest of the statue, so they dug it open to find the gold."

After hearing this, Mao Zedong said humorously: "It turned out that the Bodhisattva had a heart attack, and the masses came to perform surgery on her. You should protect it well and keep it intact so that you can explain it to the masses who will visit later, saying that it has harmed her." What kind of disease, why are you performing surgery on it."

Mao Zedong came to a Dragon King Temple near Taihuai. He saw that the temple was brightly lit and surrounded by cigarettes. Compared with the rather depressed temples elsewhere, it seemed prosperous.

Mao Zedong asked the abbot in the temple: "Has this temple been damaged?"

The abbot replied: "No! Not only was there no damage, the peasants even sent special personnel to protect the temple, and Qiu did not commit any crime."

Mao Zedong smiled and said to everyone: "Look, how obvious the conclusion should be drawn from here! How different are the masses' attitudes towards the Bodhisattva on the mountain and the dragon king at the bottom of the mountain. The Bodhisattva on the mountain is far from the interests of the farmers It’s too far away, and the Dragon King is in charge of the sky and rain, and the relationship with the peasants is too close. That’s how the masses think and treat problems like this.”

This is not Lu Zi but Zeng Zi
In October 1952, Mao Zedong rushed to Jinan.Accompanying him were Li Zhuchen, Huang Jing, Yang Shangkun, Teng Daiyuan, Luo Ruiqing and other comrades.

Mao Zedong said to the person in charge of the Shandong branch: "I don't disturb or harm the people. I'm here to play. I'm tired of living in the Forbidden City and come out to relax. What should you comrades in the branch do? Don't report to me, and I don't Listen to your report."

After Mao Zedong finished speaking, Xu Shiyou got up immediately and said: "Chairman, come here, if we don't take care of you, who will we take care of? No matter how busy we are, we have to take care of you."

Mao Zedong smiled and introduced to Li Zhuchen: "This is our Comrade Xu Shiyou, the commander of the Shandong Military Region. He used to serve as a soldier with Wu Peifu. He joined the Northern Expedition during the Northern Expedition of the National Revolutionary Army. He was the commander of the liberation of Jinan."

Then, Mao Zedong said to Xu Shiyou: "That's it. Come to me at 5 o'clock tomorrow to see your command post in Qianfo Mountain and see how you command the attack on Jinan." Xu Shiyou replied: "Okay!"

The next day, accompanied by Xu Shiyou, Mao Zedong came to Qianfo Mountain and watched the command post where Jinan was attacked.

Mao Zedong was very interested, and visited Daming Lake after going down the mountain.When he saw the crowd swimming in the lake, he said happily: "There are a lot of people swimming in the lake, and it's a great joy to share with the people." After the swim, they were about to leave Daming Lake when they were recognized by several children. When they got out, the children shouted: "Chairman Mao! Chairman Mao!" Then everyone rushed up and surrounded Mao Zedong, curious to see what Mao Zedong looked like, but the guards were too busy to persuade the crowd to disperse , took the opportunity to help Mao Zedong get in the car and leave.

On the third day, accompanied by Xu Shiyou and others, Mao Zedong went south to visit Qufu.During the visit, someone said to Mao Zedong: "There is a Luzi Temple, go and see it!"

Mao Zedong was stunned, and said with a smile: "Confucius disciples are 72 sages, without Luzi, where did Luzi temple come from?"

not for a while.When everyone came to the "Luzi Temple", Mao Zedong saw the three cursive characters "Zengzi Temple" written on the plaque above the temple gate, and said humorously: "You comrade, this is not Luzi but Zengzi." It turned out that this comrade Mistaking the cursive "Zeng" character as "Lu".Everyone couldn't help laughing.

Treat me without meat
At the beginning of 1956, Mao Zedong had just returned from an inspection tour in Hangzhou, and Bo Yibo, who was in charge of economic work under the State Council, went to report to Mao Zedong.During the conversation, I happened to mention that Comrade Shaoqi is now listening to reports from some ministries and commissions.Unexpectedly, Mao Zedong was very interested in this matter, and said to Bo Yibo: "This is very good, I want to hear it too, can you also organize some departments to report for me?"

Not long after, the reports of some ministries and commissions organized by Bo Yibo began.This report by a total of 34 ministries and commissions, which lasted for more than two months, was an important investigation and exploration conducted by Mao Zedong when China’s socialist transformation was at its climax and the first five-year plan entered its fourth year. The discussion of ten relational issues provides the main material.Mao Zedong listened to the reports of 34 ministries and commissions in the order of "mouth".Each "port" is first reported comprehensively by the competent office of the State Council, and then reported by various ministries.In addition to Mao Zedong, those who listened to the report included Zhou Enlai, Chen Yun, Deng Xiaoping and other comrades from the Secretariat.

During those days of listening to the report, Mao Zedong was very tired.Once, after listening to a report, he said with a weary look: "Now every day is 'on the bed, on the bed'. He listens to the report when he wakes up, intersperses with daily work, and goes to bed after listening to the report."

Indeed, this is the case.Take the day of February 2th as an example: at 15:9 in the morning, Liu Lantao reported the work of the Ministry of Electric Power Industry, and it ended around 40:13; The delegation of the Royal Government of Cambodia; at 17:20, the meeting ended, and they returned to the Yi Nian Tang, and continued to listen to the report until 19:10.

Listening to the report is tiring. In addition to the tight time and "continuous combat", there are also some reasons why the report materials compiled by the economic department are not ideal. For example, there are only dry lines or figures, and there are no examples. This makes Mao Zedong sound very strenuous .Once when he was listening to a report, he frowned, then suddenly raised his head and said, "Listening to this report forced me to undergo training, which is worse than being in prison. In prison, my mind still has freedom. Now my mind is not free, and I am under your command. "These articles of yours must have been derived from a lot of specific materials. You should write down the specific issues clearly. If you want to treat my guests and don't give me meat, do you want to keep one for yourself?" "For half a month This problem exists in all reports.” This was another sharp criticism of Mao Zedong’s writing style of the economic department, which sounded the alarm for the economic department to change the writing style.

follow the laws of the sun

In 1957, Voroshilov, chairman of the Supreme Soviet of the Soviet Union, visited China. At 5:6 in the morning on May 4, Mao Zedong came to Voroshilov's residence in Beijing to see him off.

Mao Zedong asked with concern: "Are you tired in the past 20 days? The program may be tighter. Have you not had a good rest?"

Voroshilov said: "My dearest friend, Comrade Mao Zedong, I am not tired at all, and everything is fine. Occasionally, I feel a little dizzy due to the sun, and I ate some snake meat in Guangzhou. Maybe a dragon-tiger fight started. I just felt a little uncomfortable when I returned to Beijing, but it passed quickly..."

Voroshilov went on to say: "I heard that you stay up late every day. I am really worried! You should not stay up late anyway. I have worked all night in the past, and my body has suffered a lot. I hope you will do the same: Sun Say hello to it as soon as you come out, say goodbye to it as soon as the sun goes down, and go to rest."

"Okay, we have to act according to the law of the sun." Mao Zedong said with a smile, "It doesn't matter, I'm used to working at night."

Voroshilov said: "No, no, you can't do this." Then he asked Mao Zedong how many cigarettes he smoked every day.

"Not much. Sometimes I hold a cigarette in my hand and don't smoke it, or I don't smoke it when it is lit. Watching it smoke, I feel like I'm smoking it mentally." Mao Zedong said.

Voroshilov shook his head and said: "My dear Comrade Mao Zedong, if you want to rest, you can come to me at any time, and you can go wherever you want, such as Sochi in South Russia and Black Seashore. Crimea and other places are fine..." Mao Zedong said: "I thank you deeply, this is your kindness."...

and fish in the water
In September 1958, Zhang Zhizhong took his secretary Yu Zhanbang with Mao Zedong to inspect the north and south of the river.After they disembarked in Wuhan together, Zhang Zhizhong introduced the secretary to Mao Zedong: "This is my secretary, Comrade Yu Zhanbang."

At that time, the boat was very noisy, and Yu Zhanbang was afraid that Mao Zedong could not understand his name, so he quickly took a step forward, held Mao Zedong's warm hand, and introduced himself nervously and cautiously: "My name is Yu Zhanbang." , then added: "It is Zhan of Zhanjiang City, the state of the Federation."

Mao Zedong asked: "Is it a dry hook?"

Yu Zhanbang hurriedly said: "There are not many people left."

Mao Zedong said with a smile: "There are many surnames in yú, some of them are dry hooks, some are not left, others are Yu, and there are Yu concubine Yu." Then, Mao Zedong pointed to the Yangtze River with his finger and said, "There are fish in the water, other than Yu." There are so many fish!"

This witty and humorous pun made everyone burst into laughter, and Yu Zhanbang's nervousness and restraint were swept away, and the atmosphere on the boat immediately became active.In this way, leaders, ordinary cadres, and the masses started talking like old friends.

Afterwards, Mao Zedong pointed at Zhang Zhizhong and asked everyone with a smile: "Do you know why he writes plainly?"

Everyone can't tell.Mao Zedong said: "Because he was a reserve policeman when he was a youth wandering, he was named Jingpo, but later he became a policeman, and this name is no longer used, so he took the word 'wen' from the word police and the word 'white' from the word po. 'Character, become Wenbai, he is the founder of simplified Chinese characters!" Everyone suddenly laughed again.

When Mao Zedong and his party arrived in Hangzhou from Wuhan, several provincial leaders from Zhejiang Province came to see Mao Zedong, and Mao Zedong introduced them to Zhang Zhizhong one by one.When introducing Huo Shilian, Secretary of the Provincial Party Committee, Mao Zedong said: "It is Huo Qubing's Huo." Then he turned his gaze to Huo Shilian and said, "You are probably a descendant of Huo Qubing, right? Huo Qubing made many military exploits in the Han Dynasty, but unfortunately he died at the age of 27." When Wu Xian, the vice-governor, was introduced, Mao Zedong said: "He is a powerful man, and he speaks of Tianxian." After hearing this, everyone laughed out loud.

They sealed me several more officials

One day in 1967, Mao Zedong was flipping through the newspaper when he suddenly stopped and asked the people present: "Who appointed me four officials?"

Mao Zedong pointed to Lin Biao's "May [-]st" inscription in the newspaper, and read vividly: "Long live the great teacher, great leader, great commander, and great helmsman Chairman Mao! Long live! Long live!"

Mao Zedong spoke humorously, but the people present at that time did not laugh.

Mao Zedong said irritably: "What is eternal health? Is there still a person who is not dead?" Mao Zedong turned around and said to the staff around him earnestly, "Don't propagate these things, but live Marxism! Long live Marxism-Leninism! Don't propagate Individuals, otherwise you will suffer big losses in the future.”

The people present were surprised to hear Mao Zedong express dissatisfaction with his "close comrade-in-arms" for the first time, and the room was extremely quiet.

Later, Mao Zedong received Albanian guests and said: "I am not happy that I have been appointed several officials, such as great mentors, great leaders, and great helmsmen." Mao Zedong also said to Snow: "What are the 'four greats'? annoying!"

Snow said: "Sometimes I don't know if those who have gone too far are sincere." Mao Zedong said: "There are three kinds, one is true, the second is to follow the crowd, 'you are all called Long Live', the Three are false. You shouldn't believe that."

god bless you mr snow

On October 1970, 10, a grand National Day celebration was held in Tiananmen Square.

(End of this chapter)