speak humor, be humorous

Chapter 45 Humorous talk (5)
Alexander Dumas and his son are both well-known French writers. Alexandre Dumas has vividly described the difference in creative methods between him and his son: "I choose themes from my dreams, but my son chooses themes from reality. ;I write with my eyes closed, he writes with eyes open; I paint, he takes pictures."

Dumas, don't laugh at others

my best work is you

In 1852, the premiere of Dumas's play La Traviata was warmly welcomed by the audience.He telegraphed to his father Dumas, who was in exile in Brussels at the time, saying: "Great success! Just like the success I had when I saw one of your works premiered."

Dumas was very happy with his son's success, and immediately called back and said: "My best work is you, my dearest son!"

The latter complements the former
After the death of Alexandre Dumas, various newspapers hurriedly removed the word "small" from "Little Dumas", but Dumas immediately protested: "This word is an inseparable part of my name. It is as if a person has two parts." A surname, the latter as a supplement to the former."

just for these two lines

In Dumas fils' play "The Bastard", the illegitimate son finally learns that his "uncle" is his biological father.The lines at the end are as follows:

Father: "When the two of us are alone together, you will definitely allow me to call you son."

Son: "Yes, Uncle!"

The son's short answer expressed great anger.

At the premiere, the theater owner requested that the ending be changed to include a father and son embracing each other.

Dumas fils replied coldly: "I wrote this script just for these two lines."

don't laugh at others

Someone asked Dumas fils: "Do you have any warnings for the world?"

Dumas Xiao happily replied:
"I tell the world, walk two hours a day, sleep seven hours a night; sleep when you feel sleepy, wake up when you open your eyes, and go to work after getting up; eat and drink as soon as you are full."

"Only say what should be said, only write articles with the courage to sign, and only do what you can say in front of people. Don't forget that you should be a person that others can trust. Don't create blindly, and don't destroy wantonly. Treat others Be tolerant first and not disdain, hate or ridicule others."

mayakovsky, catch her
i'm chasing his daughter

When Mayakovsky was still an unknown young poet, Ko Chukovsky, a well-known literary critic, came to Moscow from Petersburg to meet Mayakovsky.After meeting, literary critics greatly encouraged and praised the young poet.However, Mayakovsky was not impressed by these compliments, and he said to Chukovsky:

"I've got things to do, please excuse me. If you want to compliment me, please go to that table over there, where sits a little old man with a white tie... Tell him what you want to compliment me All right."

"What does that have to do with that little old man?" the critic wondered.

"It's related!" Mayakovsky said with a smile, "I'm pursuing his daughter!"

After seeing Mayakovsky, the great Soviet painter Repin admired his beautiful hair very much, and planned to find an opportunity to paint him.

In the spring of 1915, Repin formally made an appointment with Mayakovsky, and the poet readily agreed.But when Mayakovsky came to Repin's studio on the day of the portrait, the painter was really taken aback.It turned out that Mayakovsky had shaved his head, and his hair had disappeared without a trace.Repin regretted this unceasingly.

Mayakovsky said to Repin: "It is more important to show a person's inner beauty than outer beauty. I shaved my head so that you can more vividly portray my inner emotional temperament."

my poem is not the plague

Mayakovsky gave a speech at a conference. His speech was vivid, sharp and humorous, not only sharp, but also full of wit.

Suddenly, a troublemaker shouted, "I don't understand your joke!"

"Aren't you a giraffe!" Mayakovsky exclaimed. "Only a giraffe can soak its feet on Monday and not feel it until Saturday!"

The man shouted again: "Mayakovsky, your poems cannot make people boil, cannot make people burn, cannot infect people."

"My poem is not the sea, not the furnace, not the plague." The poet replied with a smile.

Do you think you are clean?

Once, Mayakovsky was giving a lecture, and someone handed him a note, which read: "You said that we should always wash off the traditions and habits that are full of 'dust', you Since you also need to wash your face, it means that you are also dirty."

After watching it, Mayakovsky replied humorously: "So, you don't wash your face, do you think you are clean?"

beethoven, those boots are sick
those boots are sick
The world-famous musician Beethoven lived in poverty and often had to go to low-end restaurants to eat.Once, he didn't go to the restaurant for several days. A drinking buddy asked him when he saw him: "What's wrong with you? I hope you haven't been sick these days."

"No, I'm not sick," Beethoven said humorously, "it's just that my boots are sick, and I only have this pair, so I have to stay at home and not come out."

don't play for dumb pigs

Once, Beethoven was invited by a prince to attend a concert and planned to play his own works at the concert.The concert was held at the Prince's estate, and it was a very cold and pouring rain.

Beethoven sat at the piano and skillfully played the famous "Moonlight Sonata".A calm and elegant melody flowed from his fingertips, echoing in the hall.The beautiful music made people intoxicated, people stopped talking, forgot the heavy rain outside, and forgot everything, as if they were not listening to the performance in the wind and rain, but bathed in the bright and soft moonlight.

At this time, an earl suddenly spoke as if no one else was there, and his voice became louder and louder, disturbing Beethoven's performance almost like noise.Beethoven couldn't stand the noise anymore, he stopped playing angrily, got up and said loudly: "I will never play for these stupid pigs."

The prince who hosted the concert not only did not stop the earl who ruined the atmosphere of the audience, but also loudly reprimanded Beethoven, trying to suppress him with the power of the prince.Faced with this insult, Beethoven said to the prince furiously: "The reason why you became a prince is only because of your background, but I succeeded by my own efforts. There have been many princes in the past, and there are many princes now." There are many, and there will be many, many in the future, and there is only one Beethoven!"

After speaking, Beethoven left the venue angrily.

Napoleon's funeral
Beethoven once yearned for and sympathized with the bourgeois revolution in France.Because he opposed the imperial system and advocated freedom and national independence.Therefore, he regarded Napoleon at that time as a hero who established a republic system, and wrote "The Third Symphony" in 1804 to dedicate to him.

Just as he was about to hand over the score to the French embassy in Vienna, he suddenly heard the news that Napoleon had changed the French Republic to an empire and proclaimed himself emperor.Beethoven was very angry, and said furiously: "Then, he is just an ordinary man. Now, if he wants to trample on everyone's rights and only care about his own ambition, he will be above everyone and become a tyrant!"

So Beethoven tore up the cover of the score and threw it on the ground.It was followed by a vindictive title - "Symphony Eroica - In Memory of the Relic of a Great Man".He concluded that Napoleon's act of going against the trend of history would definitely fail completely and end up as a "relic"!
In 1821, when Beethoven heard the news that Napoleon had died on St. Helen Island, he said happily: "The music I wrote 17 years ago is suitable for this event!" It turns out that this music is a funeral song!

musician's voice
Beethoven was deaf for more than 20 years before his death. At that time, he hoped that his ears could regain their hearing day and night.

At the last moment of his life, Beethoven still said intermittently: "When I get to heaven, I can hear it."

Those who waited on the side all burst into tears.

After Beethoven's death, Charubini became a music superstar in Europe.Once, a fashionable musician brought a set of scores to Charubini, saying that those scores were written by the great musician Bach.

Charubini examined it carefully and said with certainty: "This is by no means written by Bach, it is too bad!"

The musician slyly said, "Well, if I told you I wrote it, would you believe it?"

Charubini smiled and said, "No, you can't write so well!"

1 minute of little humor and great wisdom
◎ The best side

When a movie star nags Hitchcock about camera angles, she tells him over and over again to always shoot from her best side. "Sorry, that can't be done," Hitchcock said, "we can't get your best side because you're pushing it against the chair."

■It is important to have self-knowledge, not to be self-righteous and self-righteous.When you vainly try to do things according to your own wishes, that is when others dislike you the most.

◎ Causes of advanced age

Malcolm Sargent was an American music conductor and organist.He has done a lot to revive classical music in the minds of young listeners.

On the day he turned 70, an interviewer asked him, "What do you owe it to you to live to be seventy?"

"Well," said the conductor, after a moment's thought, "I think the fact must be attributed to the fact that I have not died."

■Modern people are trying their best to find ways to keep in good health.In fact, human life is very miraculous, and there is no so-called scientific method that can prove that life can be extended.In this case, why do we waste so much energy and time on the issue of longevity?Why live a long life?Sargent answered well: "Because I never died."

◎ Joking about the Royal Society

British botanist and author John Hill has been bitter about his failure to be admitted to the Royal Society.On one occasion he sent a letter from Portsmouth to the Society in which he concocted a miraculous case in which a sailor fell from a mast and broke his leg.After the doctor bandaged him firmly, he coldly soaked him in tar, which worked so well that his leg recovered within three days.This case aroused serious discussion in the society.Unexpectedly, the society soon received another letter from John Hill, saying that he forgot to explain that the broken leg was made of wood in the last letter.

■It is the same in modern society, some boring and worthless things always appear serious, which deserves our vigilance.

◎ Prime Minister and Panda

When British Prime Minister Winston Churchill saw a panda for the first time, he thought the animal was very interesting.I saw the panda lying on the ground, contented, completely ignoring this powerful man.The prime minister stared at it for a long time, finally shrugged and said: "I can't imagine that it is so unattainable!"

■Those who do not want to fall into the bottom, it is better to stand firmly on a high mountain.

◎ Beautify language
When former U.S. President Truman spoke in public, he always unconsciously said a few dirty words.A prominent Democrat lady is said to have asked Mrs. Truman to persuade her husband to speak more cleanly because she had just heard Truman accuse a politician of speaking "like a pile of horse dung."After hearing this, Mrs. Truman said without surprise: "You don't know, it took me many years to beautify his language to this point."

■ Those who do great things don't stick to small details, sometimes some so-called "shortcomings" can increase your personality charm.

◎ Easy to read
Kurd Laswitz, the founder of German fantasy novels, once answered a reporter's question about his favorite books, saying that he only read Goethe's works and vulgar thrillers about Indian life.The reporter was puzzled by the great writer's strange reading taste, and Lasswitz further explained: "You know, I am a professional writer, and I can't help but want to analyze and criticize the works I read. It is too exhausting to do so. But reading the above two kinds of books can save you this trouble and give your brain a complete rest. For Goethe's works are too high to be judged; Poor, not worth a review at all!"

■People should choose living materials and lifestyles according to their own needs, instead of chasing trends too much.

◎ One-liners from authority figures
Once, Bernard made a wisecrack that made his friends laugh out loud.One of them admired his talent and personality very much, so he complimented him and said: "Only you can say such wonderful words."

However, Bernard told him frankly that he had just read this witty line from the newspaper.

"Really? But you said it so naturally, as if it came from your heart. "

"You're right about that," Bernard said proudly, "The difference is that I made it authoritative."

(End of this chapter)