Aura Compilation Manual

Chapter 13 Part3 The core of the aura: emotional intelligence determines the pattern (1)
◎Emotional intelligence is infectious
In a speech I gave at Harvard Business School in 2007, a student asked me about the relationship between leadership and aura. I told him that many people mistakenly think that leadership is talent, charisma and management ability.These are visible indicators, just like the slogans hanging on the most prominent places of Wall Street companies, large and small.Indeed, they are important to a person.But according to my years of experience and the research results of my aura team, if you want to have successful leadership and transform leadership into a powerful and exemplary aura, the most important thing is not your IQ (IQ), but your emotional intelligence (EQ).

If you don't understand the key role of emotional intelligence in a person's life, work and emotional aura, then now, I can announce to you: you are as outdated as the fallen knight Don Quixote!Countless successful people in the workplace have summed up the same law, that is, "IQ determines employment, EQ determines promotion".No matter how many people express disdain, it always plays a role, and it can always influence a person's career development, and no one can escape it.

Here are two things you must know:

○ EQ is more important than IQ.

○Emotional intelligence plays a more decisive role in our aura.

What needs to be distinguished is that the effect of EQ on aura is not the same as IQ.A person's IQ largely determines the hard indicators of the aura, such as problem-solving skills, thinking speed, and the ability to fill out financial statements. Those people can take out the indicators and apply them, just like computer hardware; It often determines the core of the aura, it is the well-deserved soul of the aura and the most indispensable performance.Moreover, EQ can be improved through acquired efforts, as long as we systematically forge and improve from the three aspects of building self-confidence, stimulating creativity and exerting self-emotional appeal, learn to self-regulate, self-motivate, and be the masters of our own destiny. You can have a superhuman emotional intelligence.

This is a practical need, isn't it?In today's world, everyone wants to achieve greater success, so you must learn to read your own emotions, recognize the emotions of others, and eliminate your bad emotions in time to show our most attractive side.

We conducted a survey with a professional consulting agency in the United States. They asked the senior executives of 188 companies to analyze how much their IQ and EQ are related to their work.The survey results show that in the leader's aura, the influence of emotional intelligence is more than 9 times that of IQ.In other words, even if some senior executives are a little bit worse in terms of IQ (their work skills seem to be not so perfect), if they have a higher EQ index and are more diffuse and lethal in terms of aura, it will be of great help to them. Subordinates are more attractive, and they usually achieve greater success, unleashing unparalleled leadership and infectiousness, and thus competent for the work of team leaders.

The long-term research results of psychologists show that the intelligence factor accounts for 20% of a person's success, while the emotional intelligence factor accounts for 80%.In this sense, emotional intelligence opens up a new path to success for people, and at the same time emotional intelligence determines a person's success or failure.

You can understand it this way, the emotional intelligence factors that determine our success in crossing the chasm are specifically manifested as: courage, fighting spirit, determination, morality, action, will, and other excellent qualities that can maximize potential energy and expand aura.They are [-] times more meaningful to our lives than the hard, cold stuff you learned in business school or art school.

Let me tell you about an unforgettable experience of the lucky American soldier David Busey.

David participated in the battle of a lifetime as an ordinary soldier.At that time, a platoon of American soldiers came to a certain rice field, where there was a fierce battle with enemy soldiers who had been ambushing for a long time.

They were not vigilant at all that day. Walking in the green rice fields on a sunny morning, it was like traveling in the western United States. The picturesque scenery and fresh air made them so excited that they almost forgot that they were on someone else's land.While everyone was still joking, gunshots rang out suddenly, followed by the explosion of grenades.The first to fall was their leader William.He was so unlucky that he took his brothers out for reconnaissance without doing a good intelligence analysis, thinking it was the safest route.In just a split second, he was hit in the head by a bullet, and died in front of all the soldiers in the most terrifying posture.

The disaster came suddenly, the death came so quickly, and the enemy soldiers charged continuously.This U.S. military detachment was about to collapse, and being wiped out seemed to be a doomed tragic fate.Under the fierce enemy firepower, the soldiers lost their direction and lay in the ditch, not daring to raise their heads—waiting for death.But at this time, an ordinary soldier quickly stood up, threw his helmet aside, and led everyone to countercharge calmly.

"God, is that guy looking for death? He dared to rush out with such fierce enemy firepower." David was stunned.

Fearless, the soldier lunged forward, through the dense rain of bullets, and opened fire first, killing two enemy soldiers.Under his demonstration and leading role, the U.S. military squad re-invigorated their morale, launched a counterattack, repelled more than a dozen enemy attacks, and successfully waited for the support force—helicopters who arrived after hearing the news launched a ruthless attack on the enemy.

Immediately after the battle, the brave soldier was promoted to their new commander, the hero and leader of the unit.This is the greatness of aura: Only those who dare to sacrifice themselves can become leaders on the battlefield.Under his brave leadership, the completely different performances of American soldiers before and after let us understand: the contagious power of emotional intelligence is so powerful that it can be compared to a virus that spreads at the speed of light.

"If he's not a fool, then he's a lunatic," David said. "People who think they're smart lie motionless in the ditch, with their hairs tucked into their bodies. But we all know that such cleverness is just waiting to die, isn't it?" His fearlessness and courage to be the first to die saved us all."

The infectious power of emotional intelligence is reflected at this time. A great personality will make people happy to work with him, regard him as a leader, and be fascinated by his unparalleled personal charm.A person who is good at conquering and mobilizing other people's emotions has rich human resources. He is the spiritual support and role model for others. When others are in emotional difficulties, they will inevitably turn to him.

In fact, in all the cases I have seen, those who have a strong aura have such qualities.Ordinary people, who are sometimes wonderful, sometimes good and sometimes bad, sometimes selfish and sometimes great.These people can't figure it out, they don't know what kind of person they are, they have no concept of aura, and they are not interested at all.

There are also many people who have never thought about improving their style or considering the interests of the team at all.All he wanted was to protect what he had already got, like a good job, a seemingly decent income, as long as he didn't get hurt.

"I don't want to lead others, and I don't want to improve my personality. Fuck his nobility. I want to enjoy my life before the end of the world."

I have met many people who hold this view, they are 28% realists, they do not want to influence others with their actions, nor do they want to be influenced by others.In the company, they act alone; in life, they act arbitrarily and do not pay attention to feelings.Like Lena Butz, a San Francisco bank clerk, she is [-] years old and has no plans to get married. She lives alone in an apartment and lives a hermit-like life.In the words she often talks about: "Why should I let others pay attention to me? This is not stipulated by the law. I just need to be myself."

Lina is like those realists, she worships money, she only strives for income in the company, and never misses any opportunity to increase her salary; Go once, stay there for an hour before leaving, purely for completing a task rather than for family affection; she has very few friends, except for work, she doesn't even receive a single unsolicited call all day long, and she gets off work every day The rest of my life is to go to the bar and sit for a while, and then come back and sleep with my head covered.

If she can continue to live like this, the problem will naturally not arise.But life never allows someone to spoil God's gift like this.She finally found out how wrong she was not long ago when she was suddenly fired from the company.The reason is simple. Her boss talked to her and asked her if she could follow the company's orders and be stationed in East Asia to manage the bank's financial investment institutions there.

You will be surprised and say: "No, this is a promotion, an excellent life opportunity that many people have been waiting for, not a dismissal! Why is she acting like she was kicked out?"

Yes, for a bank employee, this is indeed the best opportunity.Going overseas, with a high salary, as a manager of a financial branch, she can become the leader of a new team and become an important member of the company.But Lina felt an unprecedented disgust.Because this is not the life she wants, or in other words, she is not prepared for it, and usually does not have any drills, especially for the possibility that she will be the leader of an overseas team.

"May I think about it?"

"Yes. But Lena, it won't be too long. You'd better answer me tomorrow morning."

Lina didn't make up her mind, and she rejected her superior's offer.The next month, she was fired because the bank was going to lay off staff, and she was unfortunately on the list of layoffs.The financial crisis that has not been fully overcome is an excellent opportunity for layoffs in the eyes of those big companies. The boss who was furious decided to use this to punish her and let her go home to wait for a job.In the words of our Chinese, this is "toasting without eating and eating fine wine".If you voluntarily pass up a good opportunity, you will definitely be punished accordingly!

Why would one be so intimidated by being the manager of a team?What Lina is facing is a very common problem: the lack of leadership aura is only a superficial phenomenon, and the lack of inner emotional intelligence is the key to the problem!The courage to accept challenges, the one-heartedness to focus on the team, and the sense of responsibility to be responsible for everyone, these leaders must have the aura, and Lena does not have any of them!Over the years, she has wasted too many opportunities to have these!
People with strong contagion are naturally dominant in the team. Not only do they have the courage to take responsibility, but the emotional state of anyone in the team will also be at the mercy and control of them.They are like the person in charge of playing the music on the dance floor, and all the dancers are in his rhythm and control, following him slowly or fast until the music stops.They are usually the more expressive or more powerful person, and others can only obey his emotions.Just like those brilliant orators, they are very good at mobilizing the emotions of the audience. It is an exaggeration to say that they are playing with the emotions of the other party, and this is the essence of influence.

◎The method of obtaining a positive aura: abandoning the past

Has the failure of your career and the unbearable past left you with a lingering psychological shadow?Like Lena, devastated, she returned to her bachelor apartment, slammed the door behind her, lit a cigarette, and began to stare blankly and painfully into reflection.That's right, people are willing to put on glasses only after being frustrated, and pull those blurred realities to them to try to see clearly.

Why am I being targeted by my boss?
What did I do wrong in the past?
Was my old self really annoying?

"Now let me tell you, Lena, only those who have the courage to give up their past can get more future. If you didn't have any noble emotional intelligence in the past, then from today onwards, you have to learn a word, that Just give up."

Lina came to our institution and signed up for training at her own expense. She hoped to have a good future again, and she wanted to be valued by the leaders.When I heard her story, the first piece of advice I gave her was to "let go of the past".Yesterday's self in the mirror is obviously hateful, selfish and puzzling. Why doesn't "she" dare to do things that only good leaders can do?Why is she only content to enjoy her solo dance in a small space?She couldn't get out of the small house, no one cheered for her, and she didn't even have the courage to yearn for beauty.

In view of her situation, I sincerely invite her to participate in a training course for strangers. She needs to be stimulated to conquer others, and she also needs to experience and have the motivation to compete.Lena agrees, only to be shocked at how completely unnoticed she is.As a beautiful mixed-race beauty, she didn't have a trace of longing on her face, nor did she have the slightest "psychological hint" that she hoped to be chosen by those strange and outstanding men.Men were eager to receive flirtatious glances from her, and all she sent was a long string of invalid gibberish that could not be decoded.In front of the strange man, 5 women walked by, all of them were picked by a man, only Lina sat there motionless, at a loss in her heart.

We also asked her to carry out her own "street stranger" training, the content of the training is:

1. Forget how you treated your colleagues yesterday.

2. To greet every stranger, you must say at least three sentences, and each sentence must get a response from the other party.

3. Take the initiative to make phone calls with different friends in the morning and evening to learn about each other's current situation, attend or organize friends' dinners at least twice a week, and talk to everyone affectionately.

4. Change the bad habits of dressing, talking and greeting people in the past, and change to a more positive and cheerful attitude.

5. Offer to call your former boss, but don't make any demands on him.

(End of this chapter)