Aura Compilation Manual

Chapter 16 Part3 The core of the aura: emotional intelligence determines the pattern (4)
In fact, more than half a century has also been the era in which the United States has continued to play the role of a superpower.Therefore, I have to say that Mr. Michael is really an outlier, and no wonder he was thrown into the ditch collectively by his key employees.In a society where philanthropists are everywhere, if a start-up entrepreneur like Michael is as stingy as Grandet, it is impossible to stand out in the highly competitive American society.He won't find loyal followers, not one;Perhaps this situation is also applicable in Chinese and Japanese societies.But obviously, the charity culture in Eastern society is almost administratively dominated, and the folks have not formed a strong foundation and culture at all. Naturally, the leaders' charitable aura and sharing quality are not high.That's why the investigation team of Burson-Marsteller in China was surprised to find many selfish and unscrupulous bosses—they are living a good life, but this will not last long, and sooner or later they will find that such an approach will only harm themselves.

I told Michael the story of the rich American Ann Lurie.No, exactly the story of his 6 children.Their lives are as frugal as children from ordinary families. They even buy furniture from discount stores, which is not like the children of rich families.

Lurie set up charitable funds in each of their names to donate to help others, and said proudly: "The children all want to show people that they are making their own way in this world, not relying on their parents. "

"Michael, what do you think philanthropy means to you for yourself?"

Now Michael has figured it out, if a business can earn 10 US dollars, he can't put 9 of it into his pocket, he must know how to share, and be grateful to employees and the whole society.This is a kind of sacred aura, noble personality charm, and at the same time a reasonable reward for others - even from the perspective of benefit distribution, Michael must learn to adapt to such rules.

In any case, what you give will come back to you in some other way someday.Trust me, there will be no exceptions to this!Because the aura energy is always conserved.When your aura is strong, the people around you will be relatively weak, and they will be attached to you, forming a close attachment with you as the center.

This is an open fact that we have known for a long time. The existence of any substance is accompanied by an aura. A large aura can be composed of several small auras in a unique way to achieve a dynamic balance.The aura energy is always conserved.So, don't think that your sharing will make you lose something, it is just transformed into other energy forms, and will increase your own aura.

◎Stop nagging

Complaining is the worst kind of temper, an indeterminate time bomb buried in our healthy aura, an annoying element in the crowd, and a destroyer of active life. It will jump out at any time and destroy your good mood.do you know?Americans are the most likely to complain, while the Chinese are most fond of nagging, only the Japanese work silently without saying a word.This is evident in the cases I have seen
Obviously, the complaining Americans and the nagging Chinese, they are extremely imaginative, but they lose to the Japanese who are always doing things in terms of action.

why not stop the deadly nagging now

A fact that worries me is that today everyone has an inexplicable resentment and anxiety in their hearts, dissatisfied with everything in life, and it seems that everyone is sorry for him.All kinds of complaints kept venting from his mouth, which became annoying nagging.

Maybe you think it would be nice to let me vent. "Hey, didn't you just scold Bush Jr., and that fat man dangling in front of my eyes, I don't want to work under this kind of leader." That's right, you just complained casually habitually A few words, but this kind of endless nagging has virtually dealt a fatal blow to our work effects and thoughts.

I have been in this state for a period of time before, whether in China or in the United States now, because of some unpleasantness in life, I deeply feel that I am surrounded by my own nagging and anxiety every day. Like an angry lion, wanting to kick whatever it sees, it's downright annoying.But one day, after drinking a cup of coffee, I calmed down for a while, and remembered a passage in Carnegie's "The Complete Weaknesses of Human Nature": "Amid all the fires, the hideous and ferocious plans of the devil invented to destroy love, chatter endlessly. It is the deadliest, it erodes people's life forever like the venom of a poisonous snake."

I suddenly realized, oh, Paul Gao, you are out of control, you must stop immediately!Otherwise, you may say goodbye to the well-controlled "me" of the past forever, and it will be a disaster for your life.

In our training, there are many men and women who complain when they encounter some difficulties.They fail, are not taken seriously, and then "get angry."I tell them, please change your thinking immediately!
How should you treat your life and work?Please regard them as lovers who will accompany us all our lives. If you face them every day, if you always complain and nag, you can only dig your own grave in the end.If you think and deal with it calmly like a lover, look for countermeasures, sum up experience and lessons, wouldn't you get the same happiness as being in love?Most definitely!
Nagging emotions usually arise because things are not going well, at least not as we planned, to get you the most desired results, so a sense of loss arises.Originally, you, who are full of aura and ambitious, are planning to pick the fruit from the tree as soon as you make a move, why did you miss it?Most people experience intense resentment and injustice at such moments.They will think:
The reason why I didn't do well is because my colleagues didn't support me enough!Many people dismantle my platform behind my back, don't want me to succeed, they are all watching my jokes!

The boss was too mean to me, he was jealous of my talent, and he hoped from the bottom of his heart that I would stumble, lest I surpass him and steal his limelight!

My parents don't understand me, they always stand in front of me, stop me from doing anything with the excuse of "I'm afraid I will get hurt", but in fact they want to lock me by their side forever!
While you're nagging, precious minutes are ticking by, and you're missing the best chance to fix your mistakes.When you are able to recognize the problem, you will find that:
It turned out that I didn't do well because I didn't prepare enough materials, or my efforts were in the wrong direction. My colleagues were actually kind to me. Although they didn't want me to take the credit, they didn't do the despicable act of stabbing me in the back!

The space my boss gave me was free. He stood by and watched, hoping that I could work out and take on more heavy responsibilities for him, but my mistakes failed him.I need self-criticism, not 113 see him as a shameless villain!

Although my parents have great opinions on me, there is no pair of parents in the world who do not love their children. They are afraid that I will make mistakes because I am indeed inexperienced, act recklessly, and speak naively.Now, these are verified!

A positive aura should stay away from resentment
The whining Reines was the most angry participant I've ever seen.He lost too many things, but he still didn't know where the problem was.His classic complaints in our training center were unforgettable, and once became the material of everyone's after-dinner conversation and the negative teaching materials that the staff often talked about.

In just one year, Reines lost two girlfriends and countless job opportunities. Of course, he blamed himself, but he put the blame on any "item" he could think of, even his The family's pet dog and the mailbox at the door did not escape his judgmental saliva.He abused his pets, kicked over a mailbox on his way out, and received a ticket from the city's Public Finance Authority and a warning that he could be sued.When he came to our training set, when we pointed out his problems, he had a weird look on his face, like a cowboy gnashing his teeth to prove himself.

"I don't think there is a problem with me, can't you see, what I think is the problem is the world."

Undoubtedly, his angry reprimand had no effect, but instead made his aura even more unapproachable.No one liked Reines like this. A woman at the scene said quietly: "He seems to have violent syndrome?"

Complaining will definitely make the person standing opposite you worry about being hurt by you. The only choice is to stay away from you, and then stand outside the door and watch you slowly close the window of your soul.Nobody wants to save you, except someone who truly loves you—and there are so few of them.

When you understand the dangers of nagging, now, I will give you 6 more suggestions, I hope you will stick to it, train repeatedly and for a long time, and forcefully get rid of this bad habit that damages our positive aura:

1. Have family and friends on hand to help you

Ask them to remind you whenever you are about to lose control of your emotions, get angry or freak out, or feel like blah blah blah blah.The method can be to stop, comfort or pull you outside the house to blow some air, and change to a quieter environment, so that you can adjust your emotions.You can design a self-punishment measure for this. For example, when the emotion is out of control, you have to treat them to a big meal. For this, you will fine yourself $500 or you will not be able to talk for half an hour, even if the phone rings.

2. Any nagging words can only be said once at most, and then forget it as quickly as possible

If you have to impatiently remind that person seven or eight times, complaining that he has promised you something but failed to do it, such as planning to accompany you to the mall to go shopping but not going, then he will definitely not fulfill your wish , the original promise was just a casual remark, why do you waste your time complaining again?Your nagging will only make him want to reject you more, and will definitely make him more determined not to give in to you.Therefore, if others don't want to hear it, you can only say it once at most, and it is useless to say more.

3. Learn to express opinions easily with a gentle tone

No matter what you want to express, pay attention to the way you express it. For example, you can say calmly: "My dear, if you are willing to accompany me to go shopping and go to the supermarket to buy some daily necessities, I will bake your favorite pizza. I'll have it for dinner." Or say, "Honey, I'm so glad you've transplanted our potted orchids so nicely and neatly. They're sure to be complimented by the holiday season. Now, why don't you How about placing them in the most suitable position?" Showing your inner soft aura will better help you achieve what you want.

4. Show a sense of humor even when complaining

The technique of nagging also needs your attention. A proper sense of humor can not only achieve the effect, but also keep you in a good mood.Remember, humor not only entertains others, it also puts you in a lighthearted and optimistic state.For the same thing, you must not get angry twice, even if you are over angry, and don't take it out to bask in the sun every now and then.If you can't help but spit it out and vent your dissatisfaction, you can change the way of teasing, and by the way, it is a way to relax.

5. Remember, when something unpleasant happens, the best solution is to discuss it calmly

When you have disagreements with your colleagues, superiors or partners, find a way to write it down on a note and let it form a discussion.When your quarrel happens, you can try not to talk, wait until you both calm down, and then discuss it to find the best solution that both parties can accept.By then, if it is just a small and unimportant thing, I believe you must have forgotten it, or feel embarrassed to bring it up again.Once you get past the most out-of-control phase, your desire to nag will disappear.

6. Try to achieve your goals without nagging
It is impossible for every woman to tie up a man with nagging for a lifetime.Likewise, one cannot convince a colleague or boss simply by nagging.That being the case, why not strive for the best possible solution?Yes, don’t nag, change the tone of orders, requests or complaints, no matter what happens, stay calm, use your knowledge and self-cultivation to conquer the opponent, use your rational aura to infect the opponent, and make him willing to obey you Opinions, anything for you!Otherwise, you will not only hurt your aura, but also destroy your happiness!

◎The Power of Smile and Praise

Smiling has always been a key part of our public training sessions and is the most important part of raising your aura.Maybe you think this is too simple, but I still have to repeat it tirelessly: a person who can't smile, you can hardly imagine that his aura can smoothly impress others and leave a deep impression on everyone.The truth is, we can't always do something so simple, and all of us are getting farther and farther away from smiling, as if showing kindness to others will kill us!
A well-fitting smile is of course highly emotionally contagious. It is a very active signal that instantly creates a close chemical reaction between you and others, which is much more powerful than a forced reaction in response to other people's emotions and demands. .

do you know?Smiling also conveys the message: You are the one who accepts my smile.This will impress anyone, even your enemies!Check out the story below:
Nelson was an excellent pilot who was unfortunately captured and imprisoned in a battle in the Spanish Civil War.In prison, Nelson learned to smoke.

Once, he fumbled for a cigarette, but couldn't find a match.No way, Nelson mustered up the courage to borrow fire from a guard.The guard looked at him ferociously, and reluctantly and indifferently took out a match and gave it to the dying man.

When the guard came over to help Nelson light the fire, their eyes met inadvertently, and Nelson subconsciously smiled at the guard.

Nelson didn't know why he smiled at him, maybe it was to show friendliness, maybe it was just an instinctive reaction.However, at this moment, this smile broke the gap between the two hearts.

As if infected by a smile, an imperceptible smile appeared on the guard's face.He didn't leave the cell immediately after lighting the fire, and looked at Nelson kindly, his eyes were less fierce than before, and he still had a smile on his face.Nelson also responded with a smile, as if they were old friends who had known each other for many years. "Do you have children?" the guard asked him first. "Yes, look." Nelson frantically found his family photo.The guard also took out the photo and began to tell the story of him and his family.At this point, Nelson's eyes were filled with tears, saying that he was afraid that he would never see his family again, that he would not have the opportunity to see his children grow up...

(End of this chapter)