Aura Compilation Manual

Chapter 18 Part3 The core of the aura: emotional intelligence determines the pattern (6)
Like all of us hope for ourselves, you dream of becoming a person with high emotional intelligence, improving the quality of your aura from the inside out, even if "I seem to suffer some immediate losses because of my noble character".You have also made up your mind to change yourself and learn from those outstanding figures who were once high and now become real and simple.But even if you have taken ambitious steps forward, are ready to go on a long and arduous journey, and have no regrets about your choices, I remind you, dear reader, that many of the greatest men on this planet , the most important character may never be "how to create and share", but how they treat their mistakes.

"When your aura is not satisfactory, or when you inadvertently make a mistake with bad consequences, as you who want to make yourself stronger, do you know how to punish and then adjust yourself? You need to know what you did wrong There is a price to pay for things, and no mistakes will not be punished. But at the same time, you have to learn to press yourself to give full play to your energy. This is not only an aura of reflection, but subsequent adjustments are more important.”

Andy sat in front of me and seemed to have not woken up from a heavy nightmare after hearing my words.Last month, he made a small mistake: he forgot to bring his ticket when rushing to the airport from a small town in France. After the flight was delayed, he blamed his mistake on his wife Lianna, and the two had a quarrel.

This was originally a trivial matter. If someone is good at controlling emotions, maybe they will get back together after a few quarrels, but Andy's performance that day was really disappointing.He yelled and stared like a raging lion, abused his wife non-stop, and made physical contact.He hit Lianna, and Lianna hit him too.

"Why are you doing this to me?" They questioned each other, like strangers who have never had any feelings for more than ten years.

We all have those moments, right?Sudden anger and resentment, as if in the mistake that just happened, it was me who was always in a state of justice, and the closest and most ruthless enemy united to frame "I"!Why should I be manipulated by you? What is your purpose?Such outlandish thoughts would always burst out of his mind suddenly, and then his whole body would be covered with a layer of extremely destructive black energy.Andy becomes aggressive and he hurts his wife.The next morning, the wife returned to the United States alone.The cold war between the two was long-term, and this incident alarmed the parents of both parties, as well as the community management agency. For this reason, full-time community personnel visited the door and asked Lian Na if she needed to call the police because Andy was suspected of violence.

"No, I don't need it." However, Lian Na still went to see a psychologist because of this.

Andy thought there must be something wrong with him. On the recommendation of his friend, he came to New York and said to me distressedly:
"Mr. Paul, I think I need to change, otherwise I may go to jail sooner or later! There are too many unpleasant things happening."

"There is no such thing, Andy. What you need most is to have a cup of coffee with me, and then quietly recall, and tell me the ins and outs of the matter like flowing water. I am willing to be your best listener."

I have three suggestions for Andy, the surefire way to solve the problem:
don't favor yourself
Never take an exclusive stance on what happened, especially if you feel like you might make a mistake.The current reality is that people are always on their side, kicking mistakes like a ball to anyone next to them.If you suspect that there is something wrong with him in a certain link, he will question you loudly without hesitation, and put all the responsibility on your head.

"Oh, what does this have to do with me? I have always worked hard and tried to contribute to the company."

"It must be your mistake, because I am like the boss' right-hand man, always loyal and capable, and take on most of the heavy responsibilities, please don't slander me!"

"Yes, it must be him, or you, I can see clearly!"

The vibe of putting mistakes aside and "fighting" in order to protect oneself can be seen everywhere.Even super companies like Microsoft and Google, in their top-grade office buildings, the above scene is happening every day! "Isolate yourself from mistakes", the seniors in the workplace teach you this way, so you become the "five good politicians" in the White House who will never make mistakes.

It was so weird, I seemed to see hard glass balls bumping into each other.This is like how Andy treats his dear Lianna, his first reaction is always "I am right, you are always wrong".His position is unassailable, even if it is biased and unfair.

Andy should understand that his problem was that he didn't consider his wife's feelings.That day, she cooked a delicious breakfast for him, packed his clothes, called her son in the United States, informed him that the father he missed the most was going back to China, and brought him the most beautiful gift.She had done so well that she barely had room for herself when she could have slept a little longer in bed, listened to some music, and enjoyed a warm morning.If Andy thinks about this, he can recognize a rhetorical question that might sound serious:

What have I done for her while she is doing all she can to help with my life?Is it just complaining and attacking?
Look for problems like chasing lovers

Which part is the crack that makes the sincerity and peace disappear without a trace?If Andy lacks the determination to mend his aura, and still clings to his initial judgment, defending his inviolable "dignity" in a fit of anger, his image in the eyes of his wife, parents and neighbors will only continue to decline.He should set his mind right and take this matter seriously-find the mistakes he made, reflect on the hurtful emotions in his heart, until he fully wakes up.

If you are impatient and eager to draw conclusions, you will see that "one" is infinitely magnified, and "two" or "three" become almost negligible.But the truth may be the farthest from "one", it is hidden behind your back, but you stubbornly refuse to turn around.

"Andy, now please treat these unpleasant experiences as a time-traveling first love, muster your greatest enthusiasm, devote yourself to it, and find out the fatal problems you should see!"

"Do I still want to keep thinking about this?" Andy didn't understand.In his expectation, it seems that I should persuade him to forget the past as soon as possible like other psychological counselors, instead of letting him continue to be entangled in it.

"Because you haven't confessed to yourself, your wife's misunderstanding of you is still deepening, and the bad life will not become clear just because of your amnesia. Andy, escaping is never the solution to the problem, you should use It comes to punish itself until it's cleared up."

Even the tiniest mistake, we're determined to fly across the Manhattan Bridge with our wings on to find it.Shouldn't that be the case for a man who is responsible for himself?The aura of many people always becomes extremely lazy and weak when facing mistakes, and they hope that time will solve everything for them. Now I want to tell you that time will only let the seeds germinate, and will never eliminate stubborn mistakes for you!

Make an improvement plan
The most important step is to use the correct plan to deal a severe blow to your "stupidity", so that the cracks in the healthy aura can be substantially repaired.It's pointless to just recognize your mistakes and blame yourself. It will put a steely shackle on your already black and gloomy aura, and keep you in a state of sluggishness for a long time.

Please believe that no matter what flaws appear in your life, as long as you earnestly implement these three steps, you will definitely be able to win your respect again, and you will become more attractive because of this "pretty leaping posture".

After Andy did a lot of homework on my advice to win his wife back, he really started to confess and realized how rude and hateful he was before:
1. He never gave his wife a birthday surprise, and even forgot how important that day was many times, and was still busy with work and entertainment until late at night!
2. Housework is the most terrible job in the world for him. He would rather squat on the lawn outside the door and pick fleas from passing mice than step into the kitchen.

3. He has a bad temper, often lacks thinking when encountering problems, does not listen to his family's persuasion, and even had a cold war with his parents.

4. For an enjoyable NBA championship game, he lied that he was not feeling well, hid at home and stared at the TV with relish, and asked his wife to go to the hospital alone to visit her mother who had just had an operation.

5. His work is always not going well, and he has constant conflicts with his colleagues, but he always feels that he is justified.

6. He was a well-known monster in the eyes of his neighbors, earning him the nickname "The Bat".This is the most hated animal in America!For this reason, he had a big fight with his neighbors, and even blamed his wife for not being with him!
7. When he resigned from General Motors, he provoked his boss like a child and threatened, "Don't let me see you, or you will become a flat tire." After returning home, he proudly boasted to his 133 wife that he had done his best at that time In the limelight.

8. He doesn't really care about anything, including his son's upbringing, which is evident from the number of times he goes to kindergarten, so precious that his son complains to the teacher that his father is like a sculpture tethered to the TV.

9. Selfish, stingy, and indifferent to the extreme, these are the words he often hears.He thought that these unbearable comments were given to others, but now he realized that this is himself, the notorious Mr. Andy in the community!
10. He never thinks that he is wrong, and he is always arrogant and arrogant.Family, friends and colleagues are just the best foil in his eyes, until today he realizes that he is the out-and-out clown.

Andy almost wanted to cry right away, he was so ashamed, and he made a better plan for the rest of his life.

He first went to apologize to his wife and asked her to forgive him. "It's only now that I realize how incompetent I am, Lianna. I've been living without any scruples under your tolerance. I'm really like a child who hasn't grown up. Now, I sincerely ask you to give me a chance." He no longer has the arrogance of "I am the number one man in the United States" in the past. Instead, he is ashamed and farewell
past resolutions.

Lian Na nodded, and no longer went to see a psychiatrist. She decided to give Andy a chance, but at the same time, she was still skeptical, because she never dared to believe what Andy said [-]%.

Secondly, Andy sent a gift and a short letter to every neighbor in the community on an important festival, which read: Do you believe that bats can become pandas?The neighbors answered in unison: Never believe it!But Andy did make the difficult transition, and with my encouragement, he was very motivated about his restoration plan.He carried out all the requirements of the whole plan. For a week, he showed up on the street regularly every day, showing everyone his hearty smile, although this sudden change scared the neighbors a lot. , thought he was brewing some conspiracy.But on the third day, people really felt his sincerity and began to have good interactions with him—a positive aura effect was created, and people accepted him.That week, Andy became the most watched community celebrity, and for the first time got everyone's applause, when he took the initiative to repair the house damaged by the typhoon for the Clares.

Andy wrote a letter to his supervisor, apologizing for his rudeness.He hoped that his always serious boss would not be hurt by his childishness, "Please don't bother with me, I am a person who lacks awareness of sincerity, but now I know, I hope one day I can apologize to you in person."That night, he received an email from General Motors: Thank you, you can also compare me to a tire. This is exactly the job I yearn for.

Then he laughed, it turns out that when you seize the opportunity, understanding a person is so simple and so wonderful!When he understood the meaning of self-examination and self-improvement, his life was filled with joy, and he was no longer the angry Andy who waved his arms all day long!

In the past, present, and future, in every corner of this planet, there will always be some people who stumbled and got up, thinking that it was all the fault of the ground. "Blame this stone and this damn pit!" How many people always have such an "innocent" mentality and pass it on to their children, making him a person who doesn't know how to examine himself?

When your plan fails because of your own laziness or carelessness, or because you didn't try hard enough to achieve the expected results, I always recommend giving yourself an impressive lesson after reflection.

Ten years ago, I lost an opportunity to invest in stocks with others in college, and I ordered myself not to touch any stock information for a week.And then every day after a week I was thinking, did I screw up after the fact or during the process?What am I doing wrong, is it just because God is not taking care of me?
Finally I found the reason: I was seriously incapable of discovering new things, just obsessed with physical activity and psychological research, and lacked sufficient sensitivity to changes in the business world.

That week-long "self-punishment" had a very positive impact on my life, and I have maintained a good habit of rigorous thinking, because since then I have decided that I can no longer be sloppy and just delve into the minutiae of those subjects. .

I issued a mobilization order to myself: "Gaoyuan, please integrate into this society as soon as possible!" Just like the advice I gave Andy today, don't think that you are absolutely right-that is only limited to a fanatical hope to prove Our own hearts, anything else we do can make mistakes.

For a correct program, punishment and reflection must be integrated, like a person's left and right brains.When you make a mistake, you can't just retaliate against yourself. The point is to think calmly: what went wrong?If there is a problem in the implementation process, you should check why your own implementation process deviated and how to avoid it in the future; if the plan itself is wrong, you should start from scratch and redraw the blueprint of your efforts.

When you start planning again, you have to learn to do real goal management: determine a feasible goal, subdivide this grand plan into many sub-goals or small but practical steps, each sub-goal Every step or step must design a schedule with a clear time limit.Remember, it must be written down in black and white.

(End of this chapter)