come on!you are the fattest

Chapter 3 Because we are a family, a family that loves each other
〔one〕

After standing on the Chaobai River Bridge for a long time, I still couldn't bear to jump off.

so hungry.Life is so difficult, I really want to snuggle in Yongkang's arms and eat a pot of pork ribs stewed with beans...

By the way, there is also Yongkang.Yes, I ran all the way from the intersection of the third ring road to Chaobai River, the intersection of Beijing and Yanjiao. It was my survival subconscious that made me run back to the house I rented with Yongkang—the last Eden in the world.

At this time, it was raining, and I looked up in the rain.When in love, Yongkang always had a lot of sweet words. He said that I have a big head, and when it rains, I look up and my body is not wet.Thinking of this time, I miss Yongkang even more. I looked up and finally went home.

Downstairs, I counted the windows, the house was still lit!Pork Ribs, Green Beans, 5, Unit 2, Building 2704, District [-], Oriental Hawaii, Yongkang, I am back, and I will never leave you again!
Thinking of this, I am full of strength!I quietly opened the door.Familiar smell, clean home, ah, I am not here for a few days, Yongkang is so clean, he must be waiting for me to come back and reconcile.There is also a pair of pink high heels on the ground, is it a gift from Yongkang?I put on my feet, a little small, hey, this careless and caring little man.

The light was on in the living room, I tiptoed to the bedroom, opened the door, and shouted: "Surprise!"

I thought Yongkang would be angry again and said coquettishly, "What are you doing?"

In the end, he lay on the bed without saying a word, but the white flesh under him said: "I'm scared to death!"

Yongkang didn't wear glasses, and looked at me with those small eyes in surprise: "Why are you here?"

But I didn't speak, and my attention was on that strange woman, with heavy make-up and slightly plump, but her breasts were too big, white and tender.

Yongkang covered his lower body with a blanket, and jumped out of bed angrily: "Didn't I break up with you? Your things have been delivered to your company! Come to me without shame!"

A gust of blood rushed up, it was too bullying, and you still scolded me at this time, is it to see that I am easy to bully!

"Excuse me, you continue..." After saying that, I was discouraged.

When I rushed downstairs, the rain got heavier.That’s great, I’m allowed to act in idol dramas all over the world. For 30 years, I’ve been acting in the first five episodes where the heroine has been taken care of by the world. I’ve played them in a loop. When will I be able to play Phoenix Nirvana and fall in love with a handsome guy The climax point.

I raised my head and greeted the merciless rain.The shoulders are thinner than a yellow flower, the face is as big as the shoulders, and the face is raised to block the rain, so that the rain does not touch the shoulders.I should be standing on the top of the building, not downstairs, I have no self-respect.

The soles of my feet were bitingly cold, and I didn't wear shoes when I came out of the house.There is an old saying in Beijing that people must wear shoes when they die, because the road to Huangquan is not easy to walk.If I die, will Yongkang miss me more?Does he regret that the last scene was so tragic, will he notice that my shoes are still at home?
wrong!This is my home, not his!You broke up unilaterally, do I agree?Isn't this cheating!That last bit calmed me down.It's my house, and I paid for the rent!
I rushed back to the elevator and went straight to the 27th floor!No, I want to fight, I want revenge, I want to show the demeanor of big tits.

When I opened the door, I was in a hurry.No, not in a rush, I'm just a little excited.In the past, when you were dating, you couldn't make it to the stage of catching the rape in bed, and you were dumped.I have a lot of experience of being dumped, but I have zero experience of catching a rape in bed. At this moment, I should learn from Zhihu: "What kind of experience is it like to catch a rape in bed?"

When I came back to my senses, I found that I was in the bathroom, collecting water with a bucket.Oh, I'm really used to serving Yongkang. Every time I go home, I'm used to picking up a bucket of water to wipe the floor.Fuzi, Fuzi, you want to beat Yongkang to death, you want to beat Xiaosan half to death!Grasp the key points!

But this is also good, I want to catch cold water, I want to pour this bucket of cold water on the bed, on them, on their hearts!Okay, you don't touch me for half a year, but you mess around with other women outside!All this makes my blood boil.

However, the sound of footsteps was approaching, and Yongkang must have come out. I burst into tears, why did the water catch up so slowly!

"What are you doing! You are sick!" Yongkang came out wearing a pair of boxer briefs.

I didn't speak, I rushed out of the bathroom with the bucket in my hand, I wanted to drown that bitch to death!
Yongkang pulled me, the water splashed outside, and my feet slipped!All falls in the world belong to me!The bucket just tipped over like this, and the water was poured on my head, and I was choked up.

I lay on the ground, stroked my face, and looked straight ahead, Xiaosan was fully dressed and stretched out her head.

"If you want to die, you can't drown." She spoke in a Northeast accent, ah, Bai Lianhua is also in a Northeast accent, and I remembered that I gave Bai Lianhua a face of sesame paste. I gave her so much anger during the day, and now I don't know how she is frying the pot. What about my work?
I lay on the ground and couldn't get up, so I cried, "You treat me like this, I paid for the rent, and I bought you the underpants you wore, Yongkang, your conscience was eaten by a dog, hey hey hey Uh uh uh..." I broke down in tears.

Yongkang cursed at the side, "It's not enough to be ashamed, I can't afford to provoke, can I still hide?"

As he said that, Yongkang was about to take that woman away with him.If he leaves, he will never come back!

I got up and hugged his leg, "Yongkang, don't go, hey, I can't live without you, uh, uh, I only have you, uh, uh." He kicked Yongkang.

Yongkang broke me with his hands, and finally kicked my chest with his feet. I bumped my head to the ground, but I still didn't let go of his legs.

"Don't want me, uh, uh, where did I mess with you, can't I be wrong..."

"Fuzi, look for yourself, are you still a bit feminine?"

Facing my position is a vertical air conditioner with the silhouette of a woman reflected on the stainless steel surface.The make-up was smudged like a poor face, rain-wet hair, a big face, arms as thick as Yongkang's legs.Ah, I'm so ugly.

Yongkang's leg broke free from my arms, and he cursed, "You are shameless, and I want shame. If you don't go, I will go! I won't be ashamed with you."

This time I didn't try to stop him, and in fact I didn't have the energy to stop him. I stared at the vertical air conditioner with a blank face, and watched my superb performance without expression and tears, and gradually became obsessed.

Ah, I cried even more with makeup.I have to think of something good and stop crying like this.After thinking about it for a while, I seemed to cry even harder.

I stood up and started doing squats: one, two, three... squat a hundred times, and you don't know what it is to be sad.

〔two〕

"Is this the only time to eat?"

When the landlord brother saw me, I was in the kitchen, staring at a handful of scallions in the oil pan.

You have to lie at home like a dead person for two days, your stomach becomes flat, and what time you eat is normal.

"Shall we have something to eat together?" I asked him.

The elder brother shook his head, I feel at ease, the noodles are not enough.

The eldest brother accompanied me to look up at the oil pan for a while, and talked a lot, "You have a lot of oil, don't you?"

"Scallion noodles."

"Who uses scallions to fry in scallion oil, should use shallots!"

I'm also embarrassed to tell him that we Beijingers need noodles the most. I can't say that there is only one scallion and half a bag of longxu noodles left in the refrigerator, and it would be good to have noodles with scallion oil.

"It's okay, scallions are relatives of shallots, and they are a bit bitter when put in oil... Life is inherently bitter." Ouch, after I finished speaking, I wanted to give myself a big mouth and express my ambitions?Do you have a lyrical face?
While I was eating noodles, the landlord brother chatted with me about the prospects of Yanjiao’s real estate: the Beijing government will move to Tongzhou, the subway will be repaired to Yanjiao, and the housing prices in Yanjiao will rise. The houses in his hands will be sold at high prices go out.

Finally, I asked Yongkang, "You and your boyfriend... are fine?"

"Well, it's okay." Hey, the matter of catching a rape in bed is so dirty, talking about it will dirty the landlord's ears, so there is nothing to cry about.

"But sometimes it can't be too nice, can it?"

I thought with a guilty conscience that the landlord lived downstairs. On the day I broke up with Yongkang, our voices were too loud, and the sound insulation is not good.

"Did you hear that?" I couldn't get off the stage.

"The sound is so loud, can you not hear it? I said you two were not like this before."

"...Recently, we have a problem."

"Spring is also understandable. It's the season of cats, and people also have spring, but it's almost autumn. Your husband and wife live regardless of day and night. What if the children hear it?"

"What did you say?"

"I'm sorry now? The sound is so loud in broad daylight, it's been half a year!"

I interrupted the landlord brother: "Has it been more than half a year?"

"Yes, you guys are happy, you meow during the day, and you meow at night, and the cat in spring doesn't take you like this..."

My mind turned quickly.Half a year ago, Yongkang didn't give me a good face, let alone touch me, and drove me to the living room to sleep at night because of my snoring.His personality also became very strange. Every time I came back and I didn't call to report, he would get angry with me for a long time.He has a supplementary card of mine, and it was quite expensive to use the money. At that time, I was afraid that he would not be able to find a job and felt pressured, so I didn't dare to ask where the money was spent. It turned out that I was sponsoring a cheating fund.

After quickly admitting to the landlord brother that I was the woman he was talking about, I bowed my head and sent him away. I happily washed the dishes, thinking that Yongkang was really nice.In order to break up, Yongkang made himself so scumbag that I was embarrassed and sad.No no no, I'm not being ironic, I mean it.

Originally, my condition was not very good. I am fat and small, with a dark face and a big face. Yongkang is quite tender, with a small face, small nose and small eyes, and a good figure for swimming. It is quite rare, and I am studying architecture. Yes, who does he match well with? It must be with me.To tell you the truth, I also lied to Yongkang back then. When I first joined the magazine as an assistant, I dared to fool him that I was the editor of a major fashion magazine. He was confused by my aura. The first time I had sex with me, I worked very hard, and felt that what was lying under me was not a pile of fat, but Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Armani... Later, my salary exposed my identity as an assistant, and he didn’t say anything. What, it took me several months to cheat, it's very benevolent.Ah, that mistress also likes to be clean. Look at this house, it's better than me.The appearance is not shameful, the two tits are pretty good, and they are not skinny girls, which proves that Yongkang loves fat girls, and he was a little sincere to me back then, tsk tsk.

My mood was like the air quality of a major meeting in Beijing, and the Jedi fought back.I walked around the living room a few times with my hands behind my back, um, I can’t live in this house anymore, or else the landlord and neighbors will see me as if I’m a prostitute, we Beijing girls have to lose face, this house is still back Bar.

〔three〕

Thinking of the first step, the others are not a problem.

I first went to Peng Song's studio to find him.In the past few days when I turned off the phone, he made more than 1 phone calls. I was moved in my heart, but my mouth was not forgiving. "I will make a phone call, and I won't come to Yanjiao to look for me! What if I can't think about it?"

"Just you, your heart is as big as a fingernail. If you want to die, I still think highly of you."

Peng Song got a new assistant, and the little boy was so disgusted that he almost cried when he heard our vulgar conversation.

We scolded each other endlessly for an hour before we got down to business in this meeting.

I asked Peng Song to drive me back to "Fashion Trends", but Peng Song disagreed. "Still thinking about that ruined place! You have the face to go, I don't have the face to accompany you and embarrass yourself. If Bai Lianhua knows that I am with you, she must block me."

"I have to go. Yongkang has delivered all my things to the company. The weather is getting colder, and my long johns are still inside."

Peng Song was elated when he heard it, "You two are breaking up, right? All right, I'm enlightened."

"Can you stop being so happy! I'm still depressed now."

"Aren't you depressed all the time?"

"Ah, did you see it?"

I was a little touched, Peng Song's red phoenix eyes are really not in vain, he still sees my crystal clear and sensitive heart through my rough skin and thick flesh.

Peng Song sneered: "Why are you depressed? It's not because of poverty, or because of ugliness!"

Peng Song dragged me to the "Fashion Trends" magazine office. He and the front desk were looking for my luggage while flirting with each other.

While he wasn't paying attention, I turned myself in.I'm not noble, I just don't want to suffer psychological torment, hack me to death with a knife, give me a good time.

Sister Yuanyuan is still great in dealing with the aftermath. I heard that on the day of the incident, she knelt down to Bai Lianhua and promised to give her a new cover this year as compensation.Or else I was lucky, Sister Yuanyuan, whose hair was about to turn into Ge You, saw me, yelled at me a few times, kicked me a few times, and I held back my strength and continued to stand next to her.

Peng Song was not happy, and was about to stand up for me, but fortunately, our editor-in-chief, the female devil, jumped out and took this opportunity to find trouble, and blamed the accident entirely on Sister Yuanyuan.In the past few days since I disappeared, I heard that the battle has lasted [-] rounds. The day I came, the two finally found a chance to concentrate on fighting.

The office was full of chaos, and the intern who was sitting at my desk and replaced me looked like Zhang Ziyi, but his personality was not as good as Xiao Zhang's, and his face turned green with fright.This girl is still untrained, it's fine, after staying in this circle for a long time, this kind of bullying is no surprise.I originally wanted to give Xiao Zhang Ziyi a few words of advice in a senior manner, but Peng Song slapped me on the head.

"Why are you waiting, looking for a cut."

"I haven't cleared my desk yet."

Peng Song explained to Xiao Zhang Ziyi, "The desk is not your property, so you put it in a box and deliver it to this address." He put a business card in the person's hand, "Pay on delivery, I'll treat you to dinner later."

Peng Song led me and ran away, dragging half a load of luggage to Dongjixiang Hutong.Parents looked like they had the face to come back, and by the way, they acted like a disgusting auspicious three treasures with Peng Song.

But the matter was not over yet, I pulled Peng Song aside and told him my next plan, Peng Song scolded me, "You must be sick! Who are you! Are you going to impress China this year? Who I know you!"

If he doesn't help me, then I have a solution. I asked someone to inquire about Bai Lianhua's recent schedule.That's right, next step, I have to apologize to Bai Lianhua face to face.It's really not like what Peng Song said, I'm not such an idol drama heroine, but if you do something wrong and run away, that's not okay, we Beijing girls don't want to owe anyone.

Who did Bai Lianhua offend? Isn’t it because he didn’t give me a good face during the interview? It’s only right that someone doesn’t cooperate with me. If you want to blame it, you can blame me for my lack of vision and poor learning skills. I can’t rely on this matter People, people deserve the sesame sauce on their foreheads!Are you willing to buckle you?
I found the studio where Bai Lianhua was shooting another magazine, wandered around from room to room, and finally saw Bai Lianhua drawing her eyebrows in the mirror.Hey, I draw my own eyebrows again, how worried I am about other people's craftsmanship.

As soon as I appeared, everyone was stunned. The sharp-eyed people recognized me. Before Bai Lianhua could make an expression, the assistants and make-up artists around said Lianhua scolded me to express their loyalty to the master.Originally, I was waiting there, but they didn't give me a chance to see them singing like the Spring Festival Gala in Dalian.I looked at my watch, Mom wanted to eat shabu shabu tonight, and later I had to go to the Niujie Halal shop to buy mutton, and if I was too late, I would not be able to grab it.

I'm ready to put an end to it all, "Endless pay!"

Everyone around was shocked.

Bad luck, even when I was a child, I sang tenor in the Dongcheng District Children's Palace Choir. The boy's skill is still there, and the dantian is calm.

The little bastard who took the lead in scolding me the most and pushed me a few times stepped back a few steps, "Why are you still beating someone?"

I'm sorry for you, I am the record holder of the girls' shot put school in Beijing No. 1996 Middle School from 2000 to [-]. To be honest, there were people fighting with me at the scene, but no one really could get close to me.Thinking of this, a mysterious smile appeared on my face, you are really versatile, but why did you mess up so miserably.

A group of people, including Bai Lianhua, were frightened by my weird smile, and the manager called, "Security! Security!"

Really, let's make a quick decision.I took the plastic bowl out of my bag and snapped it on my head.That's right, it contains sesame paste.He didn't play very well today, some of the sesame sauce was thrown out to the side, not as neat as when he buckled the white lotus.

The people present were stunned again, I wiped my face, discerned the position of the white lotus with my eyes, and bowed three times to the white lotus.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong, but it's worth it. The fault is all my own. Don't be difficult for Sister Yuanyuan."

I'm a little sad in my heart, I won't have the chance to get in touch with this popular aunt so closely in the future, so sad.

I turned around and left. In the eyes of the girl at the front desk of the studio, who looked at me like a fool, I was still calm, "Where is the bathroom? Oh, thank you."

While washing my face, I was thinking about whether to take a taxi or take the subway to Niujie later, and at the same time, I felt a feeling of gratitude and loss in my heart, which was as complicated as smoking afterwards.

When I buckled the sesame sauce just now, I should still kneel on the ground according to the original plan, so that it looks more sincere.In fact, I don't care if Bai Lianhua forgives me or not, I don't have the qualifications.I'm not that worried about Sister Yuanyuan, it's my turn to take care of her.I showed it to the executive manager of Bailianhua. At that time, they saw that Peng Song was mentioning me for the sake of face. I didn't perform well, and I made such an oolong, so I couldn't just shake my hand and withdraw.I know what I said just now was silly, but I'm not afraid, just don't affect Peng Song's connections.

What should be done is finally done, and the matter has come to an end. I can end my life, how should I live?Thinking wildly again, stop, stop.

After doing a hundred squats when you are sad, Fuzi will share with you a little life tip.When you feel melancholy, think about your savings... Find a mirror in the toilet of a high-end shopping mall and take a look... It's better, do you still have the face to pretend to be Lin Daiyu?It's better to go to Niujie to buy mutton with a weak body and a strong mind.

〔Four〕

In the courtyard, my room is considered good, it is a convex shape, and my room is the small opening above.It’s a room, but rather a deep closet, with a curtain closed as a door, and a bed, there’s no other place to go. The space above is filled with partitions, books and boxes for sundries.When I was in junior high school, two dumbbells were placed on the top shelf, and they fell off for no reason when I was sleeping-my fate was big, and so were my parents.From this, I have been trained to sleep very peacefully, never turn over, touch the pillow, I will not wake up when the world is turned upside down, and I will sleep until dawn.

So, when Sister Yuanyuan, Bai Lianhua and the female devil stretched their necks to look up at my sleeping face, I knew it, but I didn't dare to wake up, let's sleep.

The successful women, whose total age is almost 150 years old, are sitting in the living room, drinking afternoon tea. The content of their conversation seems to be sister Yuanyuan and the female devil persuading Bai Lianhua to forgive me.

Bai Lianhua looked innocent, "I didn't say to ban her, who is she, who am I, can I have the same knowledge as her?"

Sister Yuanyuan is in a habit of asking for credit, "You will like her, she writes interviews very well, you don't know, so many interview writers, she writes with heart, it is definitely not a job, for example, I'll read a passage to you."

Sister Yuanyuan read out my famous work and wrote a section about Xiao Xianrou.I don’t have much culture, but I feel that I have a unique literary talent, a lot of adjectives piled up, all kinds of comparisons and comparisons, and the characters are exaggerated. The author who is a serious reporter feels like an old lady’s foot wrap, smelly and long, but Fresh meat fans love it so much.

"...However, he doesn't think there is anything subtle about his position in history. He gets rid of fame and hustle and bustle, and only enjoys the silence at this moment... The people who are all over the world in legends are probably like this." Sister Yuanyuan finished reading. At the end, Zhang Guan Li Dai made a sentence, "The writing is really good, it's almost three days."

Sister, I obviously imitated the ending of "Love in a Fallen City"!This is not yet visible.

However, the editor-in-chief, the female devil, rolled her eyes for me, "Fuzi is so good, what is her literary talent? In the past few years since she came to our magazine, the office is so clean that even the most diligent cleaning lady is used to being lazy by her, and Anyone who has worried about ordering food is blessed!"

"What you're saying is not right," said Bai Lianhua, who never listened to other people's speeches. "She was extremely patient. During the interview that day, most people would have panicked, but she still followed up persistently... In fact, if she hadn't given me that face Ma Jiang, I am determined to recruit her to be my manager."

Afterwards, the three successful women continued to recite the virtues I had since I was born, and I was quite comfortable listening to them in bed.However, when Bai Lianhua praised me and said that Yongkang cheated on me and I handled it well, I knew that it was almost dawn and I should wake up from this dream. After waking up, no one would know that I was good.

I just closed my eyes like this, trying to prolong this dream.In the corner of his eyes, tears still welled up.No matter how fat I am, no matter how badly I look, no matter how thick-skinned I am, no matter how hard I try to catch my breath and eat my food, I'm scrambling around in this world.He is also a caring person who was raised by his parents.If you have a heart, it will hurt.

〔Fives〕

Lao Niu heard that I made a white lotus face in Malatang, and happily invited me to dinner, the reason is that his enemy's enemy is his own good sister.

The restaurants selected by Lao Niu cost at least 900 yuan per capita.I was very angry, like a pig out of the gate pounced on those delicacies, clamoring that I am not worthy of eating in this kind of place, and at the same time corrected the old cow: what I buckled the white lotus was not a bowl of high-temperature Mala Tang, but a harmless one. sesame sauce.

The old cow was disappointed: "What kind of sesame sauce are you taking, why don't you take a bowl of asphalt from the road, it can also burn the wrinkles on her face."

"You are an entertainment tycoon, why do you hate her so much?"

He cosplays Concubine Hua: "All those who turn their faces and deny their mothers after they become popular will die! Die!"

Lao Niu is called Aunt Niu by people in the Jianghu—it is said that the title of Aunt Niu was invented by Bai Lianhua.At that time, Bai Lianhua was thrown in the company and ignored, only the 110-jin old cow held several jobs, assistant publicity agent and so on, and depended on each other.But later, the white lotus climbed up the high branches, and the new boss looked down on Lao Niu desperately.The Northeast sisters can only bid farewell to each other and devote themselves to the construction of socialist culture.

A few years after the farewell, Lao Niu's weight rose to 200 catties, and it was a lucky time. He opened an entertainment promotion company with the boss and employees alone. She recorded a congratulatory video.Unexpectedly, Bai Lianhua said indifferently: "Then I have to ask my manager." There was no further comment.

Since then, the resident content of Lao Niu's circle of friends has only three things: scolding idiots - courier, front desk, photographer, make-up artist who doesn't give him a schedule, editor who looks down on him, five with a heart higher than the sky. A ten-line star; a photo with a handsome boy who wants to be popular; and why the white lotus is not dead yet.

According to the third point, let us make an example sentence.Jin Yaqin passed away, and it was the aunt who played in "I Love My Family".Lao Niu was very sad, and posted a message on various social media: "White Lotus is still alive, but Teacher Jin Yaqin has gone. How can it not make people angry."

The old cow stopped eating after drinking a bowl of porridge, saying that he was going to lose weight again.

My mouth was full of food, and I didn't support his decision, "No matter how fat you are, you still have a small face. Look at me, when you get fat, your face gets fat, and when you get thin, your chest gets thinner. Why do you think there is such a big difference between us. "

Lao Niu took the topic of "I'm a pig" and scolded me [-] words, which made me very comfortable. The meeting reached the friendly stage again. I took the opportunity to ask Lao Niu to help me notice which magazines are short of people recently.

"Hey, you came out of "Fashion Trends", but you still can't find a job."

I can't find it.As for other major journals, there is no such thing as sesame sauce, so with my qualifications, I can only go there as a cleaner. I have thought about going from cleaning counterattack to editing, but I can't afford it at my age.As for small publications, I also asked, the monthly salary basically starts at 5000.On the contrary, several DM magazines (postal advertisement magazines) can give more than 61 yuan in salary, but they are still very arrogant and don't want me.Continue to freelance?I did this when I was young, and it's quite romantic to say it. I, a middle-aged girl, still don't go to work every day, and I feel uncomfortable in my heart.What's more, it took me ten years, and the manuscript fee went from [-] for a thousand words to [-] for a thousand words.But it’s been a long time since I left the world of freelance writing, and now I’ve tried my best, and only accepted two manuscripts worth [-] yuan per thousand words. The topic was to lose weight through sex and how to get back at a scumbag man.

So, know why I mind if Lao Niu treats me to such an expensive place.If I deduct a bowl of hot oil from the white lotus flower, I can help the old cow vent his anger, and it will be worth the price of the meal. Just a bowl of sesame sauce?Forget it, I have to ask Lao Niu to introduce me to a job.

But Lao Niu was not in the mood to listen to me so much, so he directly sentenced me to death: "Change careers."

"Ah, don't, I love making magazines so much..." Before I finished speaking, I knew it was broken.Lao Niu's graduation thesis was to study contemporary Chinese women's literature. As a result, literature did not allow him to live a good life, and it even caused him to be raped by literature.Therefore, Lao Niu hated a series of beautiful words such as love, belief, feelings, and dreams.

Sure enough, the old cow sprayed me a catty of saliva! "Love ass! Can love make your life diamond-studded? Don't you know how to write two characters, but people who read fashion magazines, who can read, look at the pictures! If you really want to shake your fat Paw writing, okay, you write web articles, maybe you can support me in the future, what magazine do you go to? Don’t you know why the magazine editor is doing it? Coordinate various resources and use various channels to stitch together to make money! Your director, Yuanyuan, who has no hair, just works as a middleman for a PR company, let alone earning a Beetle this year, otherwise, why would she fight with your editor-in-chief all day long, because standing in that position can make money! You ugly, stupid pig, why are you still staying in the magazine pen to raise fat? Did you kill you at the annual meeting and share the bacon with everyone? You are going to hang yourself on a tree! I’m sorry, you can’t hang yourself! You just hang yourself On the tree, the branches of the tree can be broken by your fat body!"

I slapped the table: "Stop talking!" Why do you call me a pig!Lao Niu opened his poisonous mouth!I want to stop him!I grabbed my teacup...

"Old Niu, do you want to drink your saliva? I think your mouth is dry..." I flattered my face.I don't blame the old cow for scolding me, I'm also a bit out of line, the door of this industry has gradually closed, I still shamelessly want to climb in through the chimney, do I have the skills?Thinking of yourself as Santa Claus at every turn is a disease that can be cured.

The old cow misunderstood my sigh and seemed to be even more angry, "I just look down on your shameless appearance. Whenever I scold you, if you can reply, I think you will come out alive."

But the meal was quite worth it. The old cow is here, and he even gave me a promotional outsourcing job for an actor he recently took over, writing a promotional draft, and giving me [-].I know, usually this work is written in batches of one hundred articles for students, the old cow pities me.

Ten minutes after we said goodbye to him, I was waiting for the subway, but Lao Niu called, "I didn't realize it just now. You saw me today because you wanted to ask me to borrow money?"

This is a big misunderstanding!We Beijingers, everyone has to be respectable, inside and out. If you have no money, go home and eat sticky porridge and Chinese cabbage. What's the matter with borrowing money from others!I hurriedly explained to myself, what happened, that Lao Niu felt that I was too poor to talk to him?
When I looked up, my figure was reflected in the glass door of the subway.I quickly understood.

Lao Niu has a really bad temper, "Stop nagging me, I will give you [-] yuan first, I don't have much money recently, so I will give you this much first. If you are really short of money, or come to work with me, I won't starve you .”

Hanging up the phone, I remembered a short story written by Yi Shu called "Volunteer".

The ordinary heroine is envious of her classmates studying abroad, she asks her mother, "Does our family have any relatives abroad?"

My mother was also angry and said: "The poor have no relatives wherever they go."

But Lao Niu is such a "relative".During the period of looking for a job, I really suffered a lot of blank stares. Relatives and friends avoided you, for fear that your poverty would affect them.But Lao Niu prefers to show up at this time, to help you with a cold face, and doesn't want you to miss him.

What are you drawing?Lao Niu is really cheap... I looked at the impoverished self reflected in the glass door of the subway, and thought so with a smile.

〔six〕

Man, no matter what happens, you can't lose your energy, especially in this stage of life where you don't know the front and the village and the back of the shop.

Fortunately, I am a woman with a TVB temperament: "The most important thing in life is to be happy." Happiness is actually quite easy to achieve.Don't overestimate your capabilities and want to be the protagonist, our bodies are not worthy of top-level legendary life equipment.It’s best not to have extravagant expectations for supporting roles. When you watch Korean dramas, only those who are good-looking are worthy of being the second and third females.So, it's better to be TVB's prop chicken bowl.The protagonist and the supporting roles are all dead, but suddenly looking back, the bowl is still there.

Of course, in addition to mentality, I also share with you my philosophy of life: the art of poverty.That is to say, when life is at the end of the road, if you don't have money, you have to live as if you have money.

For example, go to high-end, cheap, air-conditioned places: go to Guotu to read books, go to 798 to enjoy art exhibitions, go to one-way street to listen to lectures, and go to the MOMA cinema to admire a building made of Lego blocks. .Occasionally, when I can't calm down, I go to the China Film Archive to watch some compassionate master films.When you walk out of Xiaoxitian Pailou and look at the mediocre people in the surrounding old communities, you will feel that everyone's life is not easy, no one is better than another, everyone will die, and the same goal will be achieved by different routes.

But I tried so hard to lessen my poverty-stricken temperament, but I still felt that my father was suspicious.

One day when I was having breakfast, my dad suddenly asked: "Girl, are you short of money recently?" I didn't know if Dad wanted to talk to me about a broken relationship or unemployment, so I could only tentatively ask: "Then are you going to give me money?" How much am I?"

Dad touched his bald head and stretched out three fingers, "Is three thousand enough?" I laughed and said that if you add two zeros after three thousand, I can still buy a car. Not more than three thousand.

By bragging, we got this shit out of the way. My father and I went out together, but my dad didn't get in the car. He pressed the light on the empty car and insisted on sending me to work.I made up a nonsense about how well I was doing: the leaders valued me very much, my colleagues liked me very much, and all the male stars had a crush on me.

When I was about to arrive at the company, I pointed out the window, and tactfully showed my dad how well I was doing: "Dad, did you see that where I work, people dress differently, high-end, elegant!"

Dad glanced out the window, "I appreciate your particularity, but you don't wear pants." There happened to be a woman outside the window, wearing a one piece shirt skirt.

I decided to teach Dad a lesson: "Dad, don't look down on him. Look at that green bag in his hand! It's expensive!"

"Your second uncle probably likes it."

"Ah, my second uncle is so fashionable?"

Dad said: "That bag looks like swill. Your second uncle is helping the cook in the restaurant, and he looks kind."

That's a strong statement.I was dissatisfied: "You are out of date, that bag is a limited edition, if you want to buy it, you may not be able to buy it."

Dad was a little bit competitive with me: "There is no reason why you can't buy it if you have money! Okay, you don't go to work today, and I won't drive a car. Let's buy it now. Where do you want to go? Xidan or Joy City ?”

I laughed quickly: "I'm just joking with you! Look at your temper!"

Dad drove to the intersection in front of the World Trade Center, put me down, and lifted the meter.

I was still wondering why they didn't send me to the door of the company, so my dad said, "How fresh, I'm going to make a big drive and send you directly to the elevator entrance."

As soon as I opened the car door, before my feet touched the ground, a taxi driver opened the door and sat in the back seat. Dad hurriedly pressed the meter again, waved to me, put on the sunglasses, and left in a very cool way.

I was carrying a Chanel 2.55—I bought it from Taobao, and the hardware was really made—and watched Dad’s car leave, only to realize later: Dad felt that he was a taxi driver and couldn’t give it to a tall man. The daughter has a long face and feels a little inferior.I shouldn't be showing off with my dad here. This guilty thought lasted for about five seconds, and I went to think about how to pass the time today.

Then go to IKEA to sleep?Forget it, lunch isn’t cheap there, and those people who just sleep will block the way for us who have nothing to do and need to find a place to stay.Let’s go to the supermarket. The large chain supermarkets at [-]:[-] am or [-]:[-] pm are simply wonderful. In order to welcome the meal, the mixed vegetables, barbecue, cooked food and other departments are frantically distributing trial products. Evacuate before coming to buy food, and before leaving, you can grab a small cup of promotional drink or something.

There is an imported supermarket in Fangcaodi, and the food in it is quite expensive. When I was wronged in "Fashion Trends", I went there to cool off the air-conditioning. Meat tasting area.

Coincidentally today, my aunt and I are like-minded, and the two of them fought inseparably, with a magnificent momentum, she felt resentment in her heart, and insisted that the toothpick that was trying to eat had stuck her.

Nanfang Dama speaks more modal particles, not annoying, just rambling, "Look at my hands, ouch, there are red dots."

I took out a toothpick from the transparent plate for tasting, "Then don't hold me back, why don't you prick me a few times to relieve my anger? I still have things to do."

"The truth has to be explained clearly, and it's easy to cut. Do you know how to respect the old and love the young?"

"Okay, okay, I'm wrong, can't I? My parents didn't educate me well and offended you, so I'll go home and recite the pattern of respecting the old and loving the young? Are you going to lose money or send you to the hospital? "I saw people watching and wanted to withdraw quickly.

The aunt was insulted, she opened her eyes wide, and began to slap and slap, "Oh! Look down on me? What kind of person am I? I have quality! Are you from Beijing? That's how Beijingers look at foreigners. ?” Aunt started talking endlessly, and I had no choice.

At this time, there is a hero who rides the clouds and fog to save me—the shopping cart is the somersault cloud under his feet, and the freshly baked baguette in his hand is his golden cudgel.As soon as I looked up, I saw that this man was really handsome. In Shan Tianfang's words: "The face is like fat, and the eyes are like lacquer." The most commendable thing is that I still know this man.

Hao Zeyu squinted his phoenix eyes, and smiled brightly at his aunt.Before I could react, Hao Zeyu got in touch with Nanfang aunt. At the same time as apologizing, he thoughtfully took out hand cream from the bag to wipe her hands, and finally put the hand cream in aunt's hand.

Masculinity is a passport to win a woman's heart, no matter how old you are.I was moved by Hao Zeyu to rescue me. As for why?Maybe it's because I'm greedy for my beauty, hahaha.

The aunt seemed to melt in an instant, and her face changed immediately. She held Hao Zeyu's hand and said that her jade hand was fine, and she just asked him to take good care of me next time, and don't be so fussy.

Probably Hao Zeyu laughed out of ordinary things, Nanfang Dama's eyes suddenly fixed, "You...are you the one on TV?"

Hao Zeyu was very generous, and he didn't deny it, just smiled.

"Don't tell me, let me think about it... Oh, my granddaughter likes you the most... Ouch, I'm getting older and my memory is bad!" The aunt stomped her foot, "I remember, your name is Wu Yifan!"

I was dizzy, Hao Zeyu was too popular, and the memory of embarrassing the aunt was surging in the traffic niche.

"That's right, I am." Hao Zeyu didn't care, and got on the pole.

But the latter words are more lethal. The aunt pointed at me and asked who is this?Could it be your mother?
"Your mother looks quite young..." After the aunt finished speaking, she showed a weird smile that she felt satisfied with, and that the vengeance had been avenged.

〔seven〕

In order to express my support for the hero's act of saving the beauty, I forced Hao Zeyu to carry the two big bags bought in the supermarket, and it would be best to carry them to his house, hehe.

I didn't expect Hao Zeyu to say that he was going to see Peng Song later, so he asked me to go with him.

Walking with the United States, it's not easy to say, besides, by the way, I can let Peng Song accompany me to talk bad things about that aunt.Of course, what I said to Hao Zeyu was another way. I said that you are a star and there is a woman next to you. It would be bad to be photographed, so I don't want to go.But think about it again, I could be misunderstood as your mother, and it's okay to be photographed.

Hao Zeyu smiled: "Do you still remember what Auntie said?"

This master is also a master who loves world peace. He said don't blame the aunt, the elderly are quite lonely, she had an emotional touch with you just now to pass the time, otherwise there will be no one to talk with you when you go back.

I rolled my eyes in my heart, we switch, you are four years older than me, and you are mistaken for my dad, how can I just pour you chicken soup?I can pour human broth, so I will take the words of the southern aunt and cook it for you as an old hen.

When Peng Song saw me as a maid at Gongtiman Coffee, he had a question mark on his face.

I explained the ins and outs, added fuel and vinegar to highlight Hao Zeyu's chivalrous mentality, and described the behavior of the Southern Aunt in an incomparable way.

Unexpectedly, Peng Song's face was indifferent: "Oh."

Next, there was a more bizarre scene. I once suspected that I was involved in a scene where lovers broke up peacefully.

Hao Zeyu took an envelope that was neither thick nor thin, and when he saw it contained money, he handed it over and said, Songsong, you were wronged to follow me, so you accept this.

Peng Song said I don't want it, Xiaoyu, don't play the game of life and death, sooner or later we have to be together.

"Songsong" and "Xiaoyu" then pushed the envelope back and forth, and I stared at the envelope. The envelope was like a hypnotic pendulum, and I, who was in a dazed state, quickly made up the plot.

Xiaoyu, a former idol, met Songsong, a popular stylist. In the high-flying entertainment industry, the two stumbled at work, and finally reached an inseparable tacit understanding. Not going well), the two of them were struck by lightning, that's all.Afterwards, there was a period of sweetness. Who would have thought that the secular world would not tolerate this pair of male mandarin ducks. They were seen by the secular world when they were making out.Who should play the secular world?Or it’s Peng Song’s father (ah, Uncle Peng, I haven’t seen you for a long time), or it’s Hao Zeyu’s manager who looks so much like my class teacher (oh teacher, I miss you so much every Teacher’s Day when you scolded me and Stupid and fat (the grand occasion that you will not even be able to sit on the stage in the future), you will break up the two of you no matter what you say.With the help of external force, coupled with the fact that Songsong and Xiaoyu had some misunderstandings and conflicts at this time, the two broke up peacefully, and Xiaoyu tried to give Songsong a breakup fee...

Tears welled up in my eyes thinking about it, ah, I am a rotten girl for so many years, I am so honored to keep trying to bend my family Peng Song.

"Peng Song smoked after the incident and suddenly smiled. Hao Zeyu wiped his hair after taking a shower, and asked him why he was smiling. Peng Song pinched Hao Zeyu's face and said that he remembered my sister in the past, always trying to bend me..."

Wait a minute, why am I not in this play!I can't just appear in the lines.no!I must play an important role in this scene!The envelope containing the money was grasped in my hand with lightning speed, and I decided to save the pair of Lao Yan who were flying apart, "You two men, can you stop being so sloppy?"

I threw the envelope to Hao Zeyu domineeringly, and said: "You keep the money, what are you doing! The breakup fee, compensate my little pine nut, this little money can be worth the friendship my little pine nut has for you!"

Hao Zeyu seemed shocked by my words, he stopped pushing the envelope.

Peng Song glanced at me approvingly, "Yes!" He frowned again, "Hey, why does this sound so wrong..."

With a big wave of my hand, I said, "There is nothing wrong! They broke up when they told you to break up? According to me, Hao Zeyu—forget it, we are all family members, I will call you Xiaoyu——Xiaoyu, why don't you immigrate Forget it, anyway, you are not popular in China, and you can’t make much money now, how good it is abroad, the two of you can get married in the United States..."

Peng Song held my neck with one hand, and the back of my head with the other, and my head banged against the tabletop, with a frequency of one word: "That! Me! Two! Married! Married! That! God! You! Can! Die!!"

I rubbed the big bump on my head and listened to the two of them wrestling for a while before I figured it out.Hao Zeyu's agency contract was sold to someone else by the agent, and the new agent will come with his own styling team.Hao Zeyu felt that Peng Song had helped him too much before, so he took some money to show his affection...

Hao Zeyu grinned: "You must take the money, if you don't take it, I will put it on your card."

Peng Song flipped through the money and praised, "Yo, it's thick enough." Then he smiled disdainfully, "Xiaoyu, if you really talk about money, you give too little money. You go out to inquire about it. How popular is it outside? Bai Lianhua wanted to hire me regularly, but I didn't do it. Of course, I'm not praising myself for being loyal. In our industry, whoever doesn't want to be popular has no professional ethics. Lianhua, I took you because I thought you would become more and more popular, but who would have thought that Bai Lianhua would turn salty fish over by playing soy sauce in Hollywood..."

Hao Zeyu seemed to be talking about other people's affairs, but he was still grinning, "I don't think I'm a fish."

Peng Song shook his head, "Xiaoyu, it's boring to think so. How old are you? Feng Shui turns around, and there are plenty of opportunities."

He stuffed the envelope into Hao Zeyu's hand, "You keep the money yourself. I know how much money you have. Don't buy things randomly in the future. You have to memorize them these two years. If you want to carry it, you will not only rely on will Rely on money. I think money is very important now. I have been saving money since I worked. I call this money fuck you money. When you encounter something you don’t want to do, or some low money you don’t want to earn, we will You have the confidence to push it down, because I have money. So, if you really want to repay me, give me a good reputation, make a good money, and then give me a good fuck of those boys who worship high and low, live well and piss them off. "

"Got it." Hao Zeyu was silent for a few seconds, then smiled again.

When Hao Zeyu left, I subconsciously wanted to help him carry two plastic bags of food home, but Peng Song carried me back, "Don't leave, we haven't finished talking yet."

"Oh, I was wrong, you are the straightest, you are as straight as Chang'an Avenue, okay." I hurriedly apologized to him for what happened just now.

"Put this matter aside for now," Peng Song said aggressively, "Are you still pretending to have a job in front of Dad? Dad already knows, so don't worry, the calls are all coming to me!"

〔Eight〕

I didn't continue "The Art of Poverty" in the afternoon, and my mother took turns and was sitting in the yard picking beans. She wondered, "Why did you come back so early today?"

I was annoyed, "What do you think?"

Why is this old lady pretending to be confused with her understanding!I slammed the curtain and entered the house.

Mom yelled in the yard, "I've taken gunpowder! I'm angry at your work unit and yell at your leaders. Why are you competing with me!"

Hearing what Mom said, I guess Dad hasn't told her yet.I was lying on the bed and my head was in a mess. What was wrong with me, so that Dad could see that I was out of work.

In the haze, I heard the sound, Dad came back, Mom complained to Dad that I was angry when I came home, Mom seemed to want to tell me to eat, Dad stopped Mom, said you don't care, let the child lie down.

Half awake and half asleep, my grandma didn't know when she was lying across from me, and she said angrily, "See how much your father spoils you. He knows you don't have a job, so he didn't tell your mother."

I also felt bad, but to my grandma, I didn’t keep my mouth idle, “What’s wrong with me, I’m his own daughter! Grandma and you too, you look down on my dad when you’re alive, and talk about him behind your back when you’re dead. Bad words."

Grandma was not happy, "I'm not behind my back, shouldn't I say this in front of you?"

"My dad is doing it for family peace. My mom's personality is up to you. If something happens, I will fry it! If my mom finds out that I don't have a job, she might get me back to the subway company to sell tickets. Go! Grandma, you should go back quickly, I am worried."

"Didn't you think in your heart that you want me to take you away? I just came, and you want to drive me away again! I know you have no conscience!"

"I don't have a conscience? Is there anything that I brought to you during the Qingming Festival and Ghost Festival in the past few years that I didn't buy? What about my cousins ​​and cousins, have you ever received anything from them?"

When my grandma was alive, we always bickered. Maybe this is the way we express our love. After arguing with my grandma in my dream for a while, I felt a little better.

Grandma suddenly changed her style of painting again, "Da Fuzi, what do you think you will do in the future, you have no job and no relationship."

"Whatever you worry about, you should have it."

"Why don't you go to work at Xiaosongzi's place? Didn't he say that if you don't have a job, go to work at his place?"

"Hey, what can I do with his job of painting people's faces? Besides, it's a job of serving people. No matter how poor our family is, we are also from the Eight Banners! I am not a person who serves people."

Grandma curled her lips, "I just look down on your grandpa and grandma. They are lazy and talk to you about this broken family tree every day. They are used to your stinky problems. What happened to your ancestors from the Eight Banners? Did your father drive a taxi? Your mother, your old Fu's family My daughter-in-law is not a bus ticket seller!"

I got angry when I heard that, "Okay, okay, then I'll go back to the subway station to sell tickets, marry a train conductor, have a daughter to be a stewardess, and everything will be done!"

Grandma suddenly turned her face closer, "Hey, Dafuzi, the kid sitting next to Xiaosongzi at noon looks really good! Is he from Beijing?"

"It seems to be from the Northeast."

The grandma thought for a while, "Your uncle from the Northeast is also fine. Your grandfather is also from the Northeast. Without your grandfather, your mother and your aunt probably wouldn't be able to see it."

I laughed, "Come on, grandma, our girls look as you like, all of them look like fat pumpkins, and you still want to find someone to be your aunt? If you have the time to think about this, why don't you bless me to find a good job."

Grandma smiled mysteriously, "You underestimate your grandma's ability..."

At this time, the phone rang, and I wanted to talk to my grandma, but I realized that the promotional draft that Lao Niu asked me to write hadn't been written yet, and I didn't care about my grandma, so I woke up quickly.

The room was dark, empty, and a little cold.

I touched my phone and took a look. Sure enough, Lao Niu sent a message: "I haven't written the manuscript yet? Then don't write it!"

I was surprised, wouldn't delaying the manuscript make the old cow angry?Quickly typed [-] words to express apology, loyalty, hard work, etc., and finally deleted it into four lines, but I didn't expect Lao Niu to send another message: "That idiot is too difficult to serve, and I won't take such small jobs in the future. Come and help me, I will sign an artist and prepare to do it myself."

ah?If it were someone else, I might reply very politely, "You think too highly of me, I can't do this job."But to Lao Niu, I dare not say this, and deleted all the text messages I wanted to reply.

Ouch, what should I do?Just thinking about it makes me hungry.

I tiptoed to the kitchen to find something to eat.Unexpectedly, Dad was digging his feet and was laughing foolishly in front of the TV, but the TV was silent.

"Dad, what are you doing, you don't sleep in the middle of the night." I asked as if I was fine.

"Are you awake? You've slept long enough. Are you hungry? I'll get you some noodles."

"No, no, I'll have some leftovers."

Dad ignored me, turned around and went to the kitchen.

Beijing TV is rebroadcasting "I Love My Family", which is about peaceful amnesia, and the whole family is accompanying the episode.It really fits the occasion, my dad and I are also acting.

I used the remote control to turn up the volume, and Dad poked his head out from the kitchen: "Your mother is lying down, keep your voice down."

I glanced at the kitchen and found that the ingredients were ready, just waiting to be cooked.I asked: "Dad, your hands are too fast, will you cut it in a while?"

Mom's voice came from the bedroom, "It's so fresh, he cut it up while you were sleeping, and waited for you to wake up and cook it for you."

Dad was dissatisfied, "You are everywhere, let's sleep on you."

Mom continued to transmit voices thousands of miles away: "Da Fuzi, you will have to honor your father well in the future, I think you are used to it!"

I felt uncomfortable for a while, and I couldn't eat the fried noodles brought by my father.

"Is it too salty?" Dad saw that I was not eating well, so he took a bite with the chopsticks, "It's a bit greasy."

"That's right, you're throwing salt like a grenade."

Dad stared at me eating noodles, and suddenly asked me in a low voice, "Now you young people, do you all use taxi-hailing software?"

"It's very convenient, what's the matter, Dad, your taxis are on strike again to ban the taxi-hailing software?"

"I'm different from them. They are all old-fashioned. I installed this software secretly last year and opened a separate card to see how much I can earn this year. I checked today and found that there was a third party Ten thousand."

I sucked on the noodles, "Okay, not bad, my dad is capable."

Dad took out a card and put it in my hand, "But when your mother was doing laundry today, she found this card. I said it was because the high-speed traffic card was lost and I got a replacement. But after a long time, I will fool you." I’m gone to your mother, and I will definitely have to hand it in at that time. I thought, let it go to you, and you will keep it for your father, and don’t let your mother know.”

I was stunned.

Seeing that I didn't eat anymore, Dad took my chopsticks, ate all the noodles at the bottom of the bowl, picked up the bowls and chopsticks and went into the kitchen.

"Hey, go back to the house and lie down, try to sleep again, if you can't get up tomorrow, just lie down at home for a day, it's okay."

"dad……"

Dad walked towards the bedroom, and said leisurely, "Dad has nothing else to do, you take the money and spend it as you like, buy a real bag."

He went back to sleep, and I stared at the bank card in a daze.My father's love is like a mountain, and my father's love is like a bank card. The way my father gave me the money was really tactful, so tactful that I felt that I should go to work.

Today is the number two, and the day when the white lotus was covered with sesame sauce was also the number two.It's so fast, one month has passed, and the "Art of the Poor" performance art month is coming to an end.

I picked up my phone and made a call: "Well... can I go to work tomorrow?"

The person on the other end of the phone is Lao Niu, "Let me think about how much I will pay you a month."

(End of this chapter)