come on!you are the fattest

Chapter 8 The most romantic thing I can think of is getting fat with you

〔one〕

I thought the movie "Who gets fat dies first" has nothing to do with us.Two days later, the director said that Hao Zeyu had been appointed as the leading actor.For the convenience of introduction, let the director call it Na Dachang—his surname is Na. I remember the last time I ate, he especially liked Dachang.

I set up a simple altar in the studio, with a photo of Director Dachang in the middle, an incense burner and three incense sticks, and tributes, making it look like a spiritual seat. I kneel there every day, very devout, just Pray for two things: the director must be in good health and stay artistically youthful; Hao Zeyu must gain twenty catties within a month.

Regarding gaining weight for the role, Lao Niu hesitated for a while, wondering if he should increase the film salary to 50 yuan, the director smoked a cigarette leisurely, and said: "It is not conducive for Mr. Hao to be nominated for the Academy Award... ..." Lao Niu got excited and asked for 15 yuan for the film.

I said: "Just for 15, I have to gain [-] catties..."

"You are twenty catties overweight, will someone give you 15 yuan?"

OK, just take it.

Thinking about it better, most of the directors who go to the north to make films are fools, and the director Dachang still has a bit of artistic pursuit.

Hao Zeyu himself is a bit confused, not because he is unwilling to dedicate himself to art, but because he doesn't know how to gain weight.I looked at Lao Niu and smiled. I have never heard such a ridiculous question!Isn't it easy to be fat?
For the first three days, I called Hao Zeyu every meal, "Have you eaten yet?"

"Eat, eat, I'm full."

"So how much fat have you gained? You stand on the scale and take a picture of me."

He sent the photo to me, I stared at it for a long time, and then forwarded it to Lao Niu.

Lao Niu replied, "I gained fifteen catties in three days? Who is he lying to?"

I said, "Isn't this cheating? Look at the photo, the shadow next to the weighing scale, I guess he is standing on it with a dumbbell in his hand."

Lao Niu and I summed up, we two beauties with plump physiques can't make our artists fat, it's too embarrassing to say it.

At noon on the fourth day, we both showed up at the door of Hao Zeyu's house on time with our suitcases in hand. When Hao Zeyu opened the door sleepily, he thought we were couriers.

Like the kidnapper, Lao Niu and I put him on the weighing scale, and it was still 65 kilograms.

Hao Zeyu was about to explain when Lao Niu looked at me, "Where do you sleep?"

"I'll sleep in the study, you can sleep in the second bedroom." We both opened the box and started to take things.

Hao Zeyu asked in horror: "What are you doing?"

The old cow smiled sweetly, "Eating and living together, from today onwards, I will be your breeder, and Fuzi will be your nanny."

I clenched my fist: "The duck-feeding operation has begun."

Five meals a day, high-calorie foods like Pizza Hut, KFC, and McDonald's are the easiest to gain weight. Before going to bed, I have to cook instant noodles and drink a bottle of beer.Don’t stand when you can sit, don’t sit when you can lie down, and remember, don’t exercise, it’s best to quit smoking, if you always want something in your mouth, get rid of a bag of potato chips first.As a stuffed duck, Hao Zeyu vomited on the first day.

Fat people are more festive, and thin people are more depressed.Hao Zeyu's appetite is the same as his family's, with a frigid style, shrinking into a small ball after so many years.But under the influence of me and Lao Niu, he also started to eat extravagantly, and suggested buying a Japanese kotatsu from the Internet, putting it in front of the TV, eating and sleeping, and eating after sleeping.

However, he is quite disgusting, under such feeding, he only gained eight catties. We met with the big intestine director again later, and the director said no (no way).The duck-feeding operation failed a bit, but the breeder and the nanny gained ten catties together.

The director said that if you can't do it, we will change people. Lao Niu and I are like a couple who just attended a parent-teacher meeting and were scolded by the teacher, sad and angry.

Lao Niu's work is not going well. He originally talked about a webcast cooperation and asked Hao Zeyu to talk about making a movie, but he felt that it was not hot enough and wanted to change people.

The old cow looked up to the sky and screamed, "Why do you have to change people everywhere?"

I thought about it, came up with a plan, and said to the person in charge of the other party: "How about we eat and broadcast?"

I explained that many people talk about how to lose weight and make up during the live broadcast, which is too boring. Netizens are so tired during the day, and they have to learn to watch a live broadcast at night, what a disappointment.Why don’t we live broadcast how to gain weight? Anyway, my family Hao Zeyu has to gain [-] catties for the new play, so he can’t be fat for nothing, so let’s live broadcast the process of his weight gain. It’s like a reality show, which is absolutely eye-catching.

The person in charge of the other party was a little confused.

I spread my hands and said, "If you don't do it, we will make it for other families. Anyway, I often see people how to lose weight. I have never seen the process of gaining weight."

It's settled.

Lao Niu was a little worried that Hao Zeyu would not agree. I said this matter is easy to handle, and we will just sell it badly.I asked Lao Niu to take out the Thai weight-loss medicine I bought last time. That medicine is useless for weight loss, but it will cause diarrhea after taking it.We eat after diarrhea, and diarrhea after eating.Hao Zeyu's heart aches for such self-mutilation, he must have a good meal for the two of us, and by the way, he can agree to eat and broadcast...

Lao Niu and I came out of the toilet. Hao Zeyu thought we had gastroenteritis, and he was going to buy medicine and let us lie down.

I said how can it work, didn't we agree?At this time, I sang "Time Boils the Rain" very emotionally: "We said that we will not be separated, and we will get fat together."

If rapping and singing have some false acting skills, but at dinner, I picked up the chopsticks and just took a few bites of food, and I was about to rush to the toilet to have diarrhea, that would be a real reaction.

Hao Zeyu was really moved and said that he must eat well.

I pushed the boat along the way, saying that eating is so painful for you, we have to turn the pain into money, let's eat and broadcast for a while.

Sure enough, the face-saving Hao Zeyu disagreed.Everything is going according to script.

I smiled slightly at Lao Niu. Lao Niu had already saved the amount of diarrhea for a long time. He rushed into the toilet and groaned in pain.Lao Niu's acting skills are not as natural as mine, and moaning at this time is the same as crying.In such an atmosphere, I looked solemn, and told him that Lao Niu pushed a lot of commercial activities in order to make this movie, and only took a 1% deposit for the film. Lao Niu still has a mortgage to repay this month, work The room rent still has to be paid.And have you noticed, the old cow has a tooth that has not been filled, and he is reluctant.Lao Niu spends a lot of money on you. The last time he invited the director team to dinner, he spent more than [-] yuan without blinking his eyes...

Hao Zeyu sighed, "You are trying to force me to death."

〔two〕

Since eating and broadcasting, Hao Zeyu's face has swelled up like a balloon.The temperament of the whole person has also changed. Before smiling, you can say that he looks like a narcissus or a sunflower, but now he smiles like a relative of narcissus, garlic, the kind of garlic that sticks in water and grows garlic, with a unique breath of life.

In winter, Japanese kotatsu is like an abyss of sin. We both love to be wrapped up in the quilt of kotatsu and live a happy life.I don't have much work recently, so I'm just waiting to join the group. We have a lot of free time, and the only job is to eat and broadcast.

The effect of eating and broadcasting for the first time was so good that this job became fixed, from once a week to once every three days, and then once a day. Hao Zeyu was on the trending search several times, and his appearance of eating was made into Many foreign fast food brands have also found emoticons to advertise on Weibo.

Many artists have also started to follow suit, but netizens don't recognize them.

"It's not like Hao Zeyu who gained [-] pounds, how dare he say he is a foodie in the live broadcast?" Netizens said.

Hao Zeyu's eating and broadcasting has gradually become an entertainment phenomenon.Lao Niu even appeared on "Sanlian People Weekly" and "Southern People Weekly", discussing how he marketed Hao Zeyu.

Hao Zeyu was lying under a Japanese kotatsu table, holding an iPad, reading an interview article about Lao Niu on the Internet.

I was peeling the crayfish, and I was jealous, hum, this old cow really knows how to take credit, and I was the one who proposed eating pods.

Hao Zeyu suddenly became excited, "Hey, you are mentioned here."

My eyes lit up, I peeled off two pieces of shrimp, stuffed them into his mouth, and said excitedly, "Quickly read to me!"

"Hao Zeyu's foodie marketing line is so successful because his staff are all fat people, and they understand fat people's psychology better. For example, the famous slogan: 'If I love you, I will get fat with you', from the source A Weibo post by Assistant Yu..."

"Keep reading."

"Gone."

Hao Zeyu opened his mouth again and asked me to feed him shrimp meat. I stuffed the shrimp meat into my mouth angrily, "It's so annoying! You didn't even mention your name, and you gained ten catties for nothing!"

Hao Zeyu looked at my eating appearance and smiled for a long time.Suddenly, he stopped, and said in a daze, "When I smile now, it makes the sound of a pig."

I didn't hear it, and he learned it all over again.Really, the laughter started to hum.

I comforted him, "Your smile is like a little pig at most, but my smile is a big pig." I imitated the pig's voice while laughing, and amused him again.

He lay comfortably on the carpet and sighed, "I haven't been this happy for a long time. In fact, there is nothing wrong with being like a pig. How about I continue to gain weight in the future?"

I said, "That won't work. Fat people can't be idols. For artists, being fat is a crime."

"Just let me commit a crime! When you're unhappy, just eat. It's so easy to be happy..."

I took off my gloves, sent a message to Lao Niu, and asked him when he would come back. I didn't think about it, but a face appeared on the phone, which made me yelp in fright.

He leaned over and asked me, "What's wrong?"

"Suddenly a very ugly person appeared on the phone," I looked at the phone again, "Oh, it's out of battery, it turned out to be my face." I touched my face and muttered, "So fat that the camera can pretend Don't leave me alone."

"It's okay, I can take it with my heart, I have a big heart." He tilted his head and just looked at me like that.

I was stunned, staring at Hao Zeyu for a while, I clapped my palms, overjoyed, "That's a good sentence, hurry up and post on Weibo, tease my sister!"

Many years later, when I think of this passage, I suspect it was a dream, because it is so beautiful.Every day when I woke up, I ate it. I joked with Hao Zeyu while eating. After eating, we were both sleepy. We got under the Japanese kotatsu table and had a good night’s sleep. We will be woken up by the smell of farts, we will say that the other party farted, kick each other with our feet, eat after we have had enough, watch TV, and eat like this for a month, the old cow comes and pays me...

It's good to live like this for a lifetime.But I don't know if I have been with Hao Zeyu for a long time, and I have also learned his pessimism.I am used to being beaten by life, and life occasionally gives me some beautiful scenes, and I suspect that this is fake, short-lived, and hallucinatory.

Soon, reality confirmed my thoughts.When we went to meet the director Dachang, even the director's assistant didn't recognize Hao Zeyu anymore.

Lao Niu seemed to be showing off her child's fat mother, and said proudly: "Of course, I overfulfilled the task, and gained [-] catties, which is as fat as two people."

The director patted Hao Zeyu on the shoulder, praised Hao Zeyu a lot, and then said sorry, I need you to lose weight now.

Yes, I heard that right, the director of Dachang made Hao Zeyu gain [-] catties a month ago. After we gained [-] catties on our own initiative, now we let Hao Zeyu lose weight in a month, even thinner than before.

All three of us froze.

Director Dachang was very excited, saying that the original story of "Who is Fat Who Dies First" is too vulgar, but it would be great if the whole story was changed to take place in the Ming Dynasty.Once the dynasties change, Hao Zeyu shouldn't be a fat man. How could there be a fat man in the Ming Dynasty? The food in the Ming Dynasty is so bad!Besides, the female lead is not going to act, and Mr. Hao is left alone to play the hero and heroine. How can he be fat?
Lao Niu reacted first, with a flattering smile on his face, echoing the director Dachang, saying that the director is really wise and powerful, but in the end he still couldn't help complaining, why didn't he tell us earlier.When he said this, the corner of Lao Niu's mouth twitched a little.Lao Niu is such a violent person, it is really embarrassing for him to endure so much and not swear.

The director smiled and said, "It doesn't matter, you guys don't want to act, I'm looking for someone else, the script has just been revised, and the revision is also to make the movie better."

Lao Niu continued to be humble and said, "Director, don't get me wrong. It's not that we don't like it. It's easy to gain thirty pounds in a month, but it's too difficult to lose weight in a month..."

The director said: "One person plays two roles, it's very convenient to win the award."

Take your big head ghost award!Just as I was about to stand up and say something, Hao Zeyu grabbed my wrist, and he smiled beautifully, "Director, then I'll lose weight."

When I returned to the studio, I realized that the altar was an eyesore, so I stepped forward to clean it up.

Hao Zeyu said: "I'm hungry, let's order something to eat."

The old cow asked: "You want to die, don't you want to lose weight?"

"You can't be a starving ghost if you die."

I nodded, "Yes, it will be the last supper."

For this meal, we ordered a lot of well-known takeaways, such as the steamed hairy crabs from Yonganli, the spicy roasted pig’s trotters from Dongcheng, and the small waist from Wangjing. The table was full, and a case of beer was delivered from the supermarket downstairs.

Everyone drank very happily, tacitly did not talk about the past, not about the present, but only about the future.In the future, Hao Zeyu became popular in "Time Magazine", Lao Niu became the best manager in the country, and the little fresh meats lined up to sign him... The good things will be exhausted, and the wine will be drunk.

Hao Zeyu said suddenly: "I have gained a lot of weight recently."

For fear that he would feel uncomfortable, Lao Niu and I started to fight for weight.The old cow rolled his eyes, "Who dares to say fat in front of me."

I raised my hand, "I, Lao Niu, look at you, you are two hundred catties, and your face is still so small. Look at me, how big is my face, and you two together are not as big as me."

Hao Zeyu touched his neck, "There are so many folds on my neck."

I quickly pulled my double chin to show Hao Zeyu.

Lao Niu didn’t have a double chin. He felt that he was a failure. He became angry from embarrassment, and said fiercely to Hao Zeyu, “Yes, the three of us, you have the most folds on your neck. It seems that you are very adaptable. When the sea water floods the land, your fat chin can directly Use it as a gill."

Hao Zeyu and I laughed out loud, "Lao Niu, you are so talented."

After Lao Niu heard the praise, he didn't take it seriously, and started the trilogy of drinking and swearing, "I am so good, no one loves me, and everyone wants to cheat me out of money."

Hao Zeyu flattered, "Let them all die!"

The old cow said again: "Why is the white lotus still alive?"

Hao Zeyu replied, "She is dying, and she must die before you."

In the third step, it's time for Lao Niu to feel sorry for himself.Sure enough, he said: "I am a majestic master of the Chinese Department of Beijing Normal University..."

Hao Zeyu was also very familiar with Lao Niu's tricks, so he quickly answered, "...Being a manager, you think it's really useless, don't you..."

Lao Niu looked at Hao Zeyu, his eyes were red, "...I can't make you popular, I really deserve to die..."

The dialogue didn't go according to the script.The old cow's face was twisted into a ball, trying to hold back the tears, but the tears still couldn't resist the gravity, big drops fell down, and turned into faucets in an instant.

I laughed, "Lao Niu, you are a real man, why are you crying..."

My tears also fell.It was too inexplicable to cry, I quickly wiped my tears, tried to smile, and said, "Look at you, old cow, I was scared to cry by you..."

The old cow must have been holding back for a while, and burst into tears, "We are not popular, so why let people play like this!"

I was looking for tissues for the old cow, but when I heard this, I couldn't stop my tears.

Hao Zeyu smiled, supported his head, and didn't speak, watching us cry silently.

I pressed the tissue to my eyes and felt sad for three seconds.To tell the truth, accompanying Hao Zeyu in the announcements and commercial performances, there were too many moments of being neglected by others. We also felt that it was nothing.However, when we encounter serious opportunities, our unpopular nature is exposed.If you are not popular, you are not popular. When negotiating with others, whatever they say is what they say.All the grievances that people who are not popular are due, and they have no right to be unhappy.Therefore, we worked together to gain weight with Hao Zeyu, as if the extra thirty catties on his body were not meat, but our determination to break the boat—as long as we work harder than others, will we become better? a little?God, don't laugh, although the three of us are almost a hundred years old together, isn't it possible?We want to choose to believe.However, in the colorful Vanity Fair, who cares whether you work hard or not, luck is more important, opportunity is more important, one step is worse, every step is worse.

After I felt sorry for Hao Zeyu for three seconds, I suddenly felt it was funny: I’m crying a fart, the old man is talented, educated and capable. Today, I am touched by the situation, feeling my own destiny, and crying so righteously. What am I talking about here? , my current life is quite worthy of who I am.Thinking of this, I suddenly realized that I had used up all my heartache for a year.

I threw the tissue aside and wanted to hold the old cow in my arms and comfort him.Unexpectedly, Lao Niu pushed me away and plunged into Hao Zeyu's arms—this bitch who values ​​sex and despises friends!Fortunately, Hao Zeyu gained thirty catties and was a bit heavy, so he was not thrown to the ground.He hugged the old cow, stroked the old cow's hair, and said comfortingly: "Auntie, I love you."

"I don't want you to love me, I want you to sleep with me."

He was like coaxing a child, "Okay, don't cry, I will sleep with you tonight."

After Lao Niu's mood stabilized, he smoked a cigarette, and within the time of one cigarette, he had an idea.

"Forget it, let's not be a movie cafe anymore, this job is too evil, I will reject it tomorrow."

Hao Zeyu said: "Don't, or else I would gain thirty catties for nothing."

I couldn't help interjecting, "Do you really believe what he said, that after acting in this movie, you will be able to win an Academy Award?"

Unexpectedly, Hao Zeyu nodded, "Yes."

He himself couldn't help laughing, "I didn't expect it, I'm such a decadent person, I'm quite ambitious." He picked up a wine bottle as a trophy, "Would you like to listen to my acceptance speech?" Hao Zeyu I cleared my throat, my eyes suddenly lit up, and I looked like a star in an instant, "Thank you for the Academy Award. Actually, I have been thinking about this scene for many years. Every day I hold a shampoo bottle in the bathroom and practice my acceptance speech in front of the mirror. There are many gorgeous versions, but when I think about it today, none of them are my true words. I don’t have so many artistic pursuits. When I enter the industry, I just work as a job. If I have money, I can make my grandma happy. How wonderful. With this kind of thinking, ten years have passed, and many things have happened. I am not popular anymore, my grandma passed away, and the person who brought me into the industry has left me. What has changed is that I still regard what I do now as a job. For me, this trophy is my year-end award for this year. I hope that next year, the year after, and the year after that, my year-end award will increase more and more. More and more. Thank you grandma in heaven for blessing me, thank my manager and assistant..." He suddenly pointed at Lao Niu, "Old Niu, I know you will cry like a dog," he pointed at me again, "Fuzi, You must be very hungry by now. Let me finish this acceptance speech quickly, let's go eat and celebrate! I will continue to work hard!" He stood up, waved, bowed, and looked at me Two, "Applause."

I was the only one who gave face, and the old cow rolled his eyes again.

Hao Zeyu sat down, still indulging in the fantasy just now, "Isn't it naive? I think it's naive too. I probably won't have the chance to win an Academy Award in my life, so I cherish this movie very much. It's probably because I left The most recent Academy Award - because the director is from Hong Kong." Hao Zeyu was amused by his own sneer.

I was dissatisfied, "Who said that? We will have more movies in the future."

He looked at me with a calm face, "Usually you guys coax me, I know. I've been in this business for so long, I know that's probably the way I am - I'm not sad, I'm telling the truth. I don't have any acting skills, and I don't have any Backstage, the popularity is almost zero. Taking advantage of my recent exposure, people’s heads are squeezed by the door, so they can see me. After all, he is a serious film director. In the future, I may go to make big online movies, or go to the county town Ah, shopping malls, running commercial shows. Anyway, China is so big, and the star replacement is so slow, I can survive no matter what, but I can act in movies, probably this is the only time. So, it’s just that I get fat and then lose weight. " He thumped his chest, "I can bear it..." He stopped suddenly, and laughed at himself, "I talk a lot of nonsense."

His face became serious, "Everyone in this circle has a lot of dreams. Although mixed up, it becomes the nourishment for other people's dreams. I don't have any dreams, but this time, I want to work hard with everyone."

A few seconds later, the old cow wrinkled his face and was about to cry again.I was annoyed, so I took Lao Niu's Thai weight-loss pills from the shelf next to it, unpacked it, and swallowed it, "Okay, then let's fight for not having a dream, sisters will lose weight with you."

I am so righteous, I handed the medicine to the old cow.

The old cow said in horror: "Fuzi, that's a hemorrhoid suppository."

I ran to the toilet and began to pick my throat. Why do Thai diet pills look like hemorrhoid suppositories!

〔three〕

On the night of the New Year's Eve, even though the Spring Festival Gala was hard to see that people were dying, I still ate a lot.

I asked Dad: "What is it that not only nourishes the body, but also loses weight?"

Mom interjected, "I think you are a quail and want to eat tree fruit, that's a good idea!"

Dad advised me, "You're not fat, why lose weight?" Dad moved his head closer to me and asked in a low voice, "Are you in a friend?"

I told Hao Zeyu about losing weight, and my parents were very sympathetic, saying that the money is not easy to make, and I can't even live a year.

Peng Song called to wish his parents New Year's greetings.In previous years, Peng Song would go to my house to celebrate New Year's Eve after lunch at his father and stepmother's place.This year, his stepmother gave birth to a younger brother, and the relationship between Peng Song and his father became tense again, so he decided to go to the Maldives for the New Year.Peng Song talked with his parents for a while, and it was my turn to call.

I pressed Peng Song, who took the photo I saw in Moments this afternoon, "I know you didn't go to the Maldives alone."

He didn't deny it either, and smiled, "You think everyone is like Hao Zeyu, who can celebrate the New Year alone."

I thought of the night of New Year's Eve, when Hao Zeyu was alone in that room full of chairs, mourning and starving.Suddenly, I felt bad again.

I called Hao Zeyu and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Stay at home."

"What did you eat today?"

"I ate three cucumbers and two tomatoes."

"You have to eat dumplings during the Chinese New Year! You can't stop for a day."

"Hee hee." He laughed on the phone.

It's so pitiful, I called Lao Niu to say this.Lao Niu celebrates the New Year in his hometown in the Northeast, and he is very envious of Hao Zeyu, "All relatives are dead, how pure a person is."

I think I still have to go and see Hao Zeyu.Dad came into my room to see that I was taking care of myself, and asked me, "Do you really have no friends?"

"Dad, don't make trouble for me. I'll see Hao Zeyu go. I want to have a tryst with a man, but there isn't even a man around."

"Isn't your boss a man?"

"He is my sister."

Dad doesn't understand.I weighed it up and said, "People don't like women."

"Pity."

I sneered in my heart, one day your godson Peng Song will bring you a son-in-law, what a pity.

Dad asked again, "What about Xiao Hao? You don't like men, do you?"

"He?" I thought for a while, "Probably asexual?"

Dad didn't understand, so I explained, "Heterosexuality means that men like women and women like men. Asexuality means that they don't like men or women, and they can live together with themselves."

"No wonder you dare to celebrate the New Year alone, you have such a weird temper."

I said, "He is like a cat. He is lukewarm on the surface, but hot in his bones, but he knows how to hurt people."

When I arrived at Hao Zeyu's house, I pressed the combination lock and went in without knocking.After changing his slippers, he saw Hao Zeyu was browsing the web on the computer, chewing something in his mouth.It's okay, this kid still knows how to eat.

Hao Zeyu's weight loss was similar to self-mutilation. Lao Niu was so frightened that he quit the weight loss camp, saying that he would never dare to lose weight in his life.

Hao Zeyu was very happy to see me.

I asked him, "What do you eat?"

He spat out what he chewed, "Mustard mustard."

"What's so delicious about this?"

"I've had my mouth craving, taste salty."

Eat mustard for Chinese New Year?The old society was not so difficult. My tears were almost bursting out.On the computer is the takeaway webpage of McDonald's. Hao Zeyu shared that chewing mustard in front of McDonald's is like eating a full feast.If I had known this, I should have come here earlier and dragged Hao Zeyu to my house for a New Year’s Eve dinner. I advised Hao Zeyu to come to my house for dinner on the first day of the new year, saying that my dad’s cooking is so delicious, and it nourishes the body without getting fat.

Hao Zeyu rejected me, but still enviously said: "It's nice to have a dad."

I don't know if it's because my aunt has abnormal hormone secretion recently. I feel very pitiful for what Hao Zeyu said.I said, "Why don't you recognize my dad as your dad? Peng Song is my dad's son. It's great. I think my dad likes you very much."

He was very happy, "You told your dad about me?"

"He keeps asking, and he also asks if you have a partner."

"What did you say."

"Tell me the truth." Of course I didn't say he was asexual.

He added: "It feels like your dad is just like you, with a very good temper, right?"

"Hey, I have a weird temper. I don't know if it's menopause. I feel like I'm in a relationship every day. Who do I talk to? He doesn't believe me anyway. He also said that as long as you don't find someone younger than me, what kind of him All agree."

"Why didn't you let you find the younger one?"

I recalled my previous boyfriends, "Maybe my previous boyfriends were all younger than me, so they were unreliable and left a bad impression on him."

I seriously discussed with Hao Zeyu, "It's strange for you to say, I didn't deliberately find a boy, why do siblings fall in love again and again, I'm not good-looking."

He reassured me firmly, "I think you look pretty good."

"What's the best way?"

"You look great."

I'm quite happy to have this label. Others look to stimulate sexual desire, and I look to stimulate appetite. How outstanding.

Hao Zeyu, who was so hungry that his chest was stuck to his back, chatted with me, who was so handsome, for a while. It was eleven o'clock in the blink of an eye. Hao Zeyu looked at his watch and tentatively asked me if I was hungry. Go home and watch the year.Of course, I want to stay with the lonely superstar for a while longer, but this year I have made great progress, and I am more able to read people's eyes. Hao Zeyu is giving me an order to evict me. I have to go.

Hao Zeyu leaned against the wall in the foyer in a coquettish posture against the wall, watching me put on my shoes.

I said worriedly: "Why don't you eat something, your eyes will stare at me."

He shook his head and smiled coquettishly, like a woman or a child, he was about to say something, but he didn't say anything in the end.

It made me go out and think, hunger is such a good thing, it can make you sexy, no wonder stars must be hungry.

When you go downstairs, the cold wind blows, mixed with the smell of gunpowder and smog. In short, as soon as you smell it, you know that the whole city is going to be fired—this is probably the smell of the New Year.The taste of the new year is cold, cold, and exciting to go home. I stretched out my hand and walked along the side of the road, hoping that a taxi would appear as soon as possible and take me home.During the Chinese New Year, I have to get together with my family to make dumplings. In the unsightly Spring Festival Gala, the host speaks a speech that is not sincere at all. After twelve o’clock, everyone listens to Teacher Li Guyi, a cultural relic of the Spring Festival Gala, sing "Unforgettable Tonight"... Then this year passed so boringly, anyway, it is not suitable for a person, standing on the side of the road to take a taxi.

There is a 24-hour McDonald's restaurant next to it, which is still open.The more lively the Chinese New Year, the more lonely McDonald's will appear.I suddenly had a great inspiration, and I began to think that when I was 80 years old, my parents and pine nuts were all dead, and I went to McDonald's to buy food alone during the Chinese New Year.This story is so sad that it is a bit funny. If I die alone, I will not be able to eat McDonald's during the Chinese New Year. Who is so miserable.

His face suddenly emerged.It was even worse for him, he couldn’t even eat McDonald’s during Chinese New Year, he ate mustard and read McDonald’s website.As if flashing back in my mind, Hao Zeyu asked me flatteringly if I was going home... He leaned against the wall coquettishly to watch me leave...Fucking coquettishly, it was just a flattery and begging expression.Well, he is alone, he has no family, no ugly Spring Festival Gala, and no dumplings... He doesn't want to be alone, and I finally understand all his performances that I have misunderstood as chasing guests and being coquettish.

In the deserted streets, sporadic firecrackers sounded.I rushed into the McDonald's restaurant, filled two big bags, and trotted upstairs.He opened the door too hard and almost knocked Hao Zeyu to death.I thought he was coming to meet me, but realized right away.This man plays performance art. After I left, he leaned against the door and didn't move.

When he got up, his charming face before turned into a silly boy's smirk.He saw the McDonald's in my hand, took it and put it on the ground.

I said, "Are you stupid?" I dropped my things and looked for the remote control. The screen was brightly colored, and the host had been feigning high for decades, and was reciting his New Year greetings.

He covered my ears with both hands, "Are you stupid, isn't it cold to run like this?"

"It's not cold, I feel like I'm saving the whole world, if I feed you tonight, the whole world won't be cold."

The sound of the Spring Festival Gala on the screen added a bit of excitement to the room, and this room finally didn't look like a high-end morgue.The people on the TV jumped up and down, and everyone shouted, Happy New Year!A group of unrecognizable female folk singers, dressed in bright purples and reds, choked out praises for this not so peaceful prosperous age.

Outside the window, firecrackers blared and fireworks bloomed.I feel that it is another very tacky year.But Hao Zeyu needs a little vulgarity to drive away the mourning in his bones.

He suddenly said, "Fuzi, happy Chinese New Year."

I also said: "Superstar, Happy Chinese New Year."

I thought it would stop like this, but who knew that he gave me auspicious words, "Good luck."

Yo, who can say auspicious words?I said, "Dragon Horse Spirit."

I suspect that in the future, the two of us will become Maggie Cheung and Liming, and play a part of "Sweet Honey".

But he changed his form and said: "In the new year, there must be someone who loves you."

"This blessing is not authentic, I have bad luck in love."

"Maybe already, the world is so big, there will always be someone you don't know who loves you."

I thought about it and said, "Then you too, the world is so big, there will always be [-] million girls who you don't know love you."

We both looked at each other and smiled, we wanted to push each other to the end, but Andy Lau came out to sing.We both focused on the TV, and he stared at the screen obsessively, "When will I be like him?"

"It's simple, when the boudoirs of [-] million girls are covered with your posters, you will be Howard."

These words are so inspiring, why would he look at me with contempt: "Poster? It's not glued yet."

"Then let the girl's phone screen saver be your face."

"It's too difficult."

"It's not difficult, it's actually divided into two steps."

I took my phone, took a photo of Hao Zeyu, and set it as a screensaver.

"Now there is one, just wait for the remaining 99 girls to change their screensavers."

"what's next?"

"Eat McDonald's, let's have a good New Year."

〔Four〕

After the first month was over, Hao Zeyu also lost [-] catties smoothly.As for how much I suffered, I really don't want to go into details, it's too horrible.

But this didn't make the director of Dachang speechless. On the day of the meeting, he still said that for the male lead candidate, the management has appointed a young fresh meat who has become popular recently, and there is a male second...

"Then I'll hit the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor." Hao Zeyu said with a smile.

Lao Niu and I took a look and didn't say anything.

The date of joining the group was soon set.

However, the unlucky things continued like a smoggy day, and the old cow's leg was broken by a car willingly.

This thing is really absurd.Hao Zeyu is not popular, and the public relations of famous international brands are naturally unwilling to borrow his clothes. Sometimes they need to wear some big-name clothes to attend events.One of the most commonly bought is the L brand.

At a certain dinner party, Lao Niu had a cheap mouth and offended the person in charge of the L brand in China.The next day, the publicist who has a good relationship with Lao Niu said that the people from L asked around, who on earth lent Hao Zeyu his clothes, and said that Hao Zeyu was not allowed to wear their clothes because Hao Zeyu was too low.Moreover, Hao Zeyu was not allowed to appear in the fashion magazines where they advertised.

I laughed as soon as I heard it, they don't understand the human sufferings of unpopular artists too much.We want to be in those top fashion magazines, but can we get it?We really want to get your brand sponsorship, but we can't borrow it, so we can only buy it.

The seal was very weak, but Lao Niu felt that it hurt his face, and he must borrow the clothes of the H family, which is a competitor of the L brand, to vent his anger.He turned to a familiar public relations company for help, but of course he returned in vain.As a result, Lao Niu skipped the public relations and went directly to the brand manager of the H family.He was polite, and said euphemistically that Hao Zeyu is not very popular, so let's cooperate in the future.Lao Niu played his usual professionalism of crying, making troubles and hanging himself three times, blocking people everywhere, and even stopped people's cars to prevent them from leaving.The brand side is used to the elites, but they have never seen this kind of entanglement method of the old ladies in the Northeast. They were frightened and used the brakes as accelerators, accidentally hurting the old cow.They wanted to lose money, but Lao Niu endured the severe pain and said that he didn't need to pay money, he just borrowed my Hao Zeyu's clothes.In this way, Lao Niu exchanged a broken leg for a season of brand sponsorship.

At the airport entrance, I was pushing a wheelchair, and the old cow on the wheelchair was pushing the luggage cart, like a centipede.Which is heavier, a mountain of old cows or a mountain of luggage?I have no idea.

Hao Zeyu wanted to come over to help, but Lao Niu pushed him aside and scolded him angrily, "Be careful that it won't look good when you take pictures later."

For this trip to the airport, Hao Zeyu wore clothes from the H family.Lao Niu has already found the paparazzi to take pictures in advance, and is going to send out a publicity draft to make him mad.

I don't know when, the airport has become a catwalk for artists, and the private server photos of artists have become a way to attract attention besides scandals.The paparazzi gathered around to take pictures of Hao Zeyu, and he quickly adjusted his state, as if he was attending a fashion week.

Lao Niu is sitting in a wheelchair with a plaster cast on his leg, giving red envelopes to the paparazzi, and coquettishly saying that the big brother has worked hard and repaired the photo of my child to look better.A familiar paparazzi praised Lao Niu for his dedication, and even came to send the artist to filming with a broken leg.

But I was muttering in my heart, Lao Niu broke his leg at a really bad time, and I was the only one left to join the team with Hao Zeyu.

The clothes of the H family are famous iron clothes, which look good when photographed, but are quite uncomfortable to wear.After the paparazzi dispersed, Hao Zeyu, who had been in a concave shape for a long time, almost collapsed.Lao Niu is still telling Hao Zeyu not to fall asleep on the plane, not to mess up his makeup and hair, and to change into new clothes. There are still a group of paparazzi hired at Hangzhou Airport waiting to take pictures of him.After filming, I got on the car to Hengdian and changed into comfortable everyday clothes.He babbled several times, but I didn't want to listen anymore, so I hurried to change my boarding pass and check my luggage.

Lao Niu thought the shipping fee was too much, and asked me what I had brought, and I counted it down with my fingers.In addition to our daily necessities, there are also folding chairs for rest, long down jackets that cover the feet, baby warmers, various medicines, small fans...

Lao Niu said that there is no need to pack so many boxes.

"There are still twenty boxes of Daoxiangcun."

"Why bring this!"

"A present for the crew."

"Is this an electric pressure cooker?"

"That's right, I'm afraid that the crew's food won't be good, so I thought I could cook some soup for him, how weak he is now."

The old cow convinced me.Despite being disgusted by him, when the two of us boarded the plane, Lao Niu was sitting in a wheelchair with a plaster leg, like a mother sending her child to college, and suddenly became emotional and burst into tears.

I beckoned, "Cry ass, take good care of your wounds, we'll be triumphant in three months."

"Film well, we'll be great when we come back! No one can bully us!"

These words are really sensational, which made me feel poetic. I clenched my fists and shouted, "The yellow sand wears golden armor in all battles. If you don't break Loulan, you will never return it!"

Hao Zeyu and the people around him looked embarrassed, but Lao Niu was so moved that his mascara fainted from crying.

When I was sitting in the first class, I couldn’t help loving Lao Niu even more. Lao Niu is so kind. Because he broke a leg and couldn’t accompany us to the set, he felt very guilty and bought first class for us.In terms of spending money generously, the senior sissy old cow is more manly than most men.I thought unconscionably, if Lao Niu broke both of his legs, no, his whole body, he should charter a flight to take us to Hengdian.

When the plane took off, I found that Hao Zeyu was pale and restless, and the stewardess asked him what was wrong worriedly.I thought, his grandma died on the plane, does he have a psychological shadow?

I comforted him, "It's okay, we can't die."

"Who is afraid of death?"

"Grandma passed away, it was just an accident, it has nothing to do with flying." I grabbed his hand, wanting to show him the blessing card.

Who knew that he didn't appreciate it, pushed my hand aside, pointed to his crotch and said, "I'm not feeling well because the pants are too tight and they're stuck so painful."

A female passenger next to him seemed to recognize Hao Zeyu, peeking at the beauty, she couldn't bear to listen to the vulgar words of this handsome man.

I quickly stopped, "Hold down, you can adjust it with your hands..."

"I'm wearing long johns."

I was shocked, "How can a star wear long johns! If someone finds you wearing long johns, you have to quit the entertainment industry!"

Under my guidance, Hao Zeyu adjusted his sitting posture several times, and finally put himself in a comfortable position.I was about to go to bed when he talked to me again and admitted that after my grandma passed away, he was indeed afraid of flying.

I rolled my eyes, "Hey, you still pretend to be with me. If I knew this, we would take the high-speed train there."

"Haven't you never sat in first class, I want to make you happy."

I sighed, "It's a good thing I didn't say I like cannibalism, or else you'd kill people and let me try it out."

"That's not necessary, I can just cut my own flesh, and I don't need to lose weight."

It was probably the first time to make a movie, and he was a little stressed.He said worriedly that the filming went so smoothly, and he felt uneasy.

"Thirty catties of meat grew on the body and were cut off again. Is this going well?"

He leaned his head on the seat, and said meaningfully: "In my life, I have been accustomed to reciting a little bit. Let me go a little bit smoother. I am still not used to it. I always feel that there must be bumps in the back."

"Bah, bah, don't say that, you look down on me, I'm a mascot by nature, and I specialize in warding off all kinds of evil spirits." I suspected that the slogan was shouted too loudly, and God wanted to show me some color.

The flight attendant in the business class accidentally spilled a glass of juice on Hao Zeyu's pants.When we got off the plane, we couldn't find our checked luggage again. We waited for several hours in a daze. The paparazzi at Hangzhou Airport took pictures of Hao Zeyu's dull face because of waiting.After getting out of the airport, Lao Niu rented a car in advance to go to Hengdian, and then dropped the chain and released our pigeons... Maybe I used to poke Lou Zi in the first half of my life, but now I am not surprised when I encounter some accidents. trick.

After finally arriving in Hengdian, we were told that the crew’s room was tight. The reason was that the leading actors and actresses brought more than a dozen people to wait on them. The producer had no choice but to bully Hao Zeyu, so they reserved a room for us.I quickly took out Daoxiang Village to honor the producer, praised him in various ways, cried and said that I fell in love with him at first sight, and forced him to rule me unspoken.The producer couldn't stand it, and he was afraid of me, so he transferred us a suite with a living room.

I was packing my luggage in the room, and Hao Zeyu sat watching, feeling that he had predicted his fate, "Look, I am really unlucky."

"I can't stand it, I'm well prepared," I took out the sleeping bag from my backpack, "I thought the assistant could only sleep on the Datong bunk, but I didn't expect to be able to sleep on the sofa in the living room..."

Just as he was talking, the sound of the TV next door came.Hao Zeyu touched the wall, then pouted again, "The sound insulation is really bad."

"Is the sound insulation bad?" I rummaged through another suitcase and took out the earplugs. "These earplugs work really well, and I can't even hear the alarm."

"But I keep losing my earplugs."

"It's okay, I brought several boxes, even if you throw away a pair a day, we can hold on until the finale."

Hao Zeyu smiled, "Fuzi, you are really rare."

"Of course, because I'm beautiful."

He shook his head, talking to me seriously, "Fuzi, do you know why I like you? Because you are not treated kindly by this world, but you treat this world kindly."

In broad daylight, what about late night chicken soup? It sounds disgusting.I went over to tease him, "Ancestor, stop expressing feelings here! Have you memorized the lines for tomorrow's filming?"

However, I still wrote down this sentence, posted it on Hao Zeyu's Weibo, and retweeted it over a thousand times.Lao Niu also liked this sentence, and praised that it has my style, the chicken soup blended with high-concentration chicken essence.Lao Niu and I secretly conspired that if the filming is unsuccessful, let Hao Zeyu transform into an idol writer. With me, a second-hand dealer, and Lao Niu, a talented student in the Chinese Department, writing behind the scenes, all the popular chicken soup writers on the market will die. !
〔Fives〕

The opening ceremony was the next day. Hong Kong people are quite superstitious. A group of people held incense and worshiped a pig's head.

The first time I saw it, I thought it was funny.I asked the production director what to do with the pig's head after the worship.

"Throw it away."

"It's a pity, let it be marinated, it should be delicious."

In the first scene, Hao Zeyu needed to hang Wia, and he was quite excited.However, when it comes to filming, what excites him is not his emotions, but his pain-sensing nerves.

It hurts even when I look at it from the side. The iron pants are suspended by the thin steel ropes, and the stress points are all on the crotch.It is conceivable that the balls under his crotch are being squeezed in various ways. I feel the same way and want to eat two boiled eggs.

After going to the toilet, I saw that lunch was being served. It was the first time I ate in the crew, so I hurriedly grabbed two boxes of lunch for fear that I would be left behind.The box lunch of the crew smelled very attractive. I hugged it in my arms and went back to the shooting scene. Everyone was gone, but only Hao Zeyu, who was hanging from a wire, was dressed as a scholar, sitting on a tree, looking from a distance. , like ancient migrant workers hanging themselves for wages.

"What about people?"

"They all went to eat."

"Why don't you let me down?"

"The director said that it was hard to find a good angle. If I want to go down, I have to re-do it for a few hours, and I have to suffer."

"are you hungry?"

"A little bit, but eat now, what should I do if I vomit later?"

"Then you have to eat something."

The tree is quite tall - the crew is really awesome, where can I find such a tall tree, I can't even pass the lunch box on tiptoe.

There is a ladder used by the lighting engineer next to it. I moved it and climbed to the top, only to find that Hao Zeyu's hands were tied by the rope of Wia, and he couldn't lift his arms.I bit off the disposable chopsticks with my teeth, opened the lunch box, and fed him a few bites.

"Don't just give me food, give me a few bites of rice." He ate very deliciously, making my mouth water.

He said, "Take a few bites too." I wanted to find new chopsticks, and he frowned, "I don't despise you."

I think about it, too, they are all comrades in arms who slept together, and it doesn't matter to use a chopstick.Just feed him a few bites like this, and then I eat a few bites-accumulated a wealth of experience in feeding children in the future.

Maybe it's because my brain has been off the ground for a long time, and my thinking has become more profound. I couldn't help feeling, "It's really interesting to make movies, and you have to keep your feet off the ground when you eat."

"I'm also wondering. I used to be quite comfortable filming TV dramas. I stayed up late at most. I couldn't memorize the lines, so I said one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. Later, there were voice actors to fill in the lines."

He thought for a while, "Of course, I was popular at that time, and I couldn't act well. The crew even found me a stand-in to make up shots for me when I couldn't get up in the morning. It's great to be popular."

"Can't we find a substitute for playing?"

Seeing that there was no one around, Hao Zeyu whispered to me, "I want to too, but I don't dare. Find a stand-in for the first scene, isn't it good?"

"But they can't leave us here."

"Isn't this great? The air is fresh and you can enjoy the scenery."

If Diao Wia can still be a freshman on the first day, but the days to come are really hard to laugh.Hao Zeyu's announcements are always the first one every day, and he has to get up at three or four o'clock in the morning to put on makeup.Costume dramas have to wear headgear again. I often fall asleep, and when I open my eyes, I haven't finished my makeup yet.Getting up early doesn't mean shooting early.Several times, Hao Zeyu had all his make-up and hair done early in the morning, but it was his turn to perform in the middle of the night.

I forgot to say that the script has been changing, and the fate of Hao Zeyu's character is unimaginable.As soon as he appeared on the stage, the whole family was buried in the flames because of him, and only he survived after being burned disfigured.Since then, he has fallen into the curse of "whoever is fatter will die first", as long as the person next to him is fatter than him, he will die, and the hero and heroine are also brought down by him.Then, because of his yin and yang eyes, he was scared by all kinds of ghosts until the end.The above plot means that Hao Zeyu has to act in the fire, put on disfigured makeup, be tortured by ghosts in various ways, scream at the neck all the time, and keep a frightened face... Anyway, he suffered a lot.

Often after a day's play, his body would either be bruised and purple by martial arts, or his throat would be so loud that he could not speak.He made too many ghostly expressions, his face cramped up, and the special effects outfit hurt his skin a lot. I guess after another week of filming like this, his face will really look like a disfigurement, so he can specialize in ghost movies in the future.

The director of Dachang also praised Hao Zeyu, saying that he played this kind of ancient mental illness very vividly, and often added scenes, thinking about how to make him look even worse.

Lao Niu heard about it, and encouraged Hao Zeyu with Lin Chiling's voice on the phone, "It's really a challenging role! Come on!" But behind the scenes, Lao Niu cried with me, saying that he loves Hao Zeyu too much and hates himself She's not a rich woman, otherwise she can take care of Hao Zeyu and make Hao Zeyu suffer less.

It's not just Lao Niu who feels sorry for Hao Zeyu, the production director is one of them.The producer's surname is Yang, who is also from Beijing.People in the rivers and lakes said that Hengdian Yang is not picky, and he can be a good guy for any kind of girl she looks like.However, he is a little afraid of me, maybe because my desire for unspoken rules is too strong.

"Director, the weather is good today, suitable for unspoken rules for me."

"Director, you're very tired today, do you want to unspoken rules for me, to relieve boredom?" I am such an unruly middle-aged girl.

One day after lunch, we were squatting together to smoke, and he said, "Student Xiaohao is not bad."

"You have a crush on him? All right, I'll clean him up and send him to your room tonight."

He was very contemptuous, and after a while, he asked again, "Have you guys known the director before?"

"I'm not familiar, I just drank once on the day of the audition."

He said to himself, "That would be strange."

I asked, "What's weird?"

"It's nothing, anyway, in the crew, if you offend the director, you will suffer." He said again: "Xiao Hao is a good classmate, it's a pity." I feel like he didn't finish his sentence.

Later, because of filming a scene, I finally understood what Producer Yang meant.

The scene was filmed in which Hao Zeyu's character had been castrated, and he endured humiliation and became the minion of the villain. The hero and heroine were trapped, and Hao Zeyu's conscience found out and rescued them.On a snowy night, the hero and heroine ran away smoothly, but Hao Zeyu was chased so hard that he had nowhere to hide and could only jump into the water.Hao Zeyu danced several times in a row, but the director didn't even try it. Hao Zeyu drank up the bottle of Erguotou used to warm up.He was hot, I asked him if he had a fever, but he didn't speak.

Producer Yang gave me some color, and I looked at my chest, "It's not gone, I'm wearing a T-shirt."

He squeezed his eyes again and looked at the director.I figured it out, "Is sex appeal now? There are so many people watching."

Producer Yang stomped his feet angrily, and whispered a trick to me, "As long as you have an IQ, I'm convinced, you won't let the director find a substitute."

I understood, and hurried forward to discuss with the director.

The director of Dachang vomited a smoke ring, saying that Tony Leung had dived twelve times before, and later won the Academy Award...

I said that Hao Zeyu had a fever, and if the filming continues like this, it will only be a posthumous work that wins the prize.

The director didn't speak, but the assistant director beside him interrupted, saying that the current actors are so delicate.

No way, Hao Zeyu jumped again and finally passed - because the director was sleepy.

The bath towels were frozen, so I simply took off my down jacket and wrapped it for Hao Zeyu.

No way, the director said, use the first one.Dare to dance so many times later, all in vain?

The director said inexplicably, "Who made me stupid." He glanced at Hao Zeyu nonchalantly and said to call it a day.

I understand why Hao Zeyu suffered so much.It's all because of the night when he got drunk, he scolded the big intestine director for me...

We all thought that director Dachang was drunk and would not remember at all, but the fact is that he not only remembered, but also kept it in his heart.

Both the male and female protagonists have nanny cars, and they get in the car and leave.Usually I don't feel anything, but today I feel very desolate.

Hao Zeyu waited for a long time before setting off. I begged the driver of the crew to take us to the hospital, but they also saw that Hao Zeyu was a bully, so they all said they couldn't go, and left one after another.

At this time, a van stopped in front of us, and Director Yang was in the driver's seat, beckoning us to get in the van.

In the hospital, Hao Zeyu was lying on the bed for infusion, and Producer Yang and I went to the door to smoke.

Producer Yang looked at the sky, "You guys should sign with a bigger company. Actors who are not popular can't do it alone. If they are bullied, no one will care."

I finally couldn't help it anymore and asked him, "Did you see that the director wanted to punish Hao Zeyu from the first day?"

"It's not just the first day. When the crew was preparing for the production, I heard that this Hong Kong man made the male number two gain weight and lose weight. We all said that this obviously offended the director, but what's even more funny is that you haven't seen it yet. , and especially supported him to take this role."

I started to jump, "Why are Hong Kong people such thieves? I offended him. Just tell me, why are you playing such a dirty trick..."

"Why blame him? Blame yourselves."

Producer Yang began to educate me, "I have a friend who offended the director because of a trivial matter, and the director played me as a friend. Originally, he only needed a dozen extras to play disaster victims, but he turned the script It has been changed to flood victims all over the sky, with a budget of 5000 yuan, where can we find so many refugees.”

"You are this friend."

He squinted at me, "No wonder you can't get married, because you don't give men face."

"What will happen next?"

"Pretend to be a grandson in soft clothes."

"Then what do you mean, we have to apologize to the director?"

"Apologize, shit!" Hao Zeyu said behind his back.

He woke up and came out pushing the IV stand. His fever had probably subsided, and he looked a little refreshed.

I was also very happy to hear that.I am a person, I am too cowardly, once there is a tough person by my side, I feel like I have an idea.

I grabbed him and said, "Yes! Let's go after the IV drip. Don't let him get used to it!"

He pushed me, "Who is going? Don't go!"

Producer Yang smiled, "What's the matter, you still beat him up?"

Hao Zeyu said: "Why don't you just play with me, play, if he can't play with me to death, I will play with him to death, whoever is afraid of him!"

Producer Yang smiled and asked him, "Then let me ask, how are you going to play the role of director?"

"I don't know! Where is the toilet, I'm about to have a diarrhea!"

After Hao Zeyu went to the toilet, I told Producer Yang, "Don't mind, his head may have burned out."

Producer Yang said that as an actor, this personality is easy to suffer.

I'm very happy, I haven't seen him so alive for a long time.

〔six〕

Tell me a little bit about your experiences on the set.Generally, when shooting action scenes or big scenes, it is assumed that some staff members died on duty, and there are several budgets for pensions.What's more, the director of the film crew is a grandfather, but the martial artist is an ancestor, so you can't offend him, otherwise, whenever there is an action scene, you will definitely be injured and you won't be able to lose your temper.Generally, the hidden actresses are assistant directors, and the hidden actresses are usually extras.Because it's so easy to make love in a drama, every crew has that dewy couple who stay together during the filming and break up after the filming.I thought that extras all have the dream of being an actor, but in fact, there are more people who just dawdle.Many group performers put on their costumes and went to sleep somewhere, came back to eat after dinner, then hid and continued to sleep, and received wages when work was over at night.Big-name actors are very kind to people, and the hero and heroine in our play treat people very well.On the contrary, Xiaoka likes to put on airs, such as our third female, whose eyes probably grow on the top of her head.

In comparison, Hao Zeyu is really popular.Once his social switch is turned on, he is very cute.If he wanted to please others on purpose, he would do it with the same vigor as an atomic bomb explosion, and no one in the crew would be spared.

When the lighting team moved the equipment, he lifted it up with his hand.With his undefeated drinking capacity, he conquered the martial arts brothers and assistant directors.The younger brother of the lighting engineer was looking for a job in Beijing, and he recommended him to work in the small company.Obviously Aunt Chashui could be his mother, and he called her sister with a sweet mouth.Waking up in the early morning to put on makeup, he felt sorry for the makeup artist who accompanied him to get up early, and directly asked me to buy breakfast and touch up makeup between filming. He was tall, and the little girl had to put his feet on his feet to apply makeup. He just split his legs to make the little makeup girl feel comfortable. point.

I said: "I heard that the third woman now regards you as a girlfriend? How did you do it? Doesn't she think that all men want to have sex with her?"

He raised his little finger, smoothed his hair along his ears, smiled coquettishly, and said, "I'm a good sister."

"You still ask the leading actor how to act. His acting skills are not as good as Lao Niu."

"Aren't you bothering me? Asking questions, I still need to read the script."

When dealing with director Dachang, he had no intention of trying to please him. As usual, he devoted all his attention to acting.Didn't the director deliberately ask him to act many times?He prepares various performances in advance.

Gradually, when the director made things difficult for him, everyone secretly helped him.Once, when filming a scene where a group beat him up, the director requested that the effect be realistic, but the brothers in martial arts all held back their efforts to prevent Hao Zeyu from suffering.If the filming is not enough after a lot of filming, there will always be accidents in one department, and the director has to end it immediately.

However, it may be like Hao Zeyu's theory of insomnia, he is used to walking and reciting words, and if the front goes well, there will be mistakes later.When filming an action scene, Wia miscalculated the landing time, he hit the wall directly, and when he was put down, he couldn't stand up.

At that time, I was like a widowed woman, crying on the spot, "He is not married yet! You can't lose your sexual ability!"

Hao Zeyu laughed and said, "It's not the waist, it's the legs."

I stopped crying, "Fortunately, it's the legs," but I reacted and continued to cry, "The legs are not good either! Lame people can't be idols!"

Producer Yang scolded me for being unscrupulous, and only cared about whether he could make a film.

I went to the hospital and said it was a knee joint injury. The doctor said that I must rest.However, he insisted on going back to the shooting scene. After he stopped the bleeding and pain, he asked the doctor to give a sealing injection.

I'm crazy, what is this guy doing, is he going to get the May Day Labor Medal?He said that if the crew stopped filming for one day, they would lose hundreds of thousands, and he couldn't bear the responsibility.When Hao Zeyu returned to the scene in a wheelchair, the crew was about to withdraw.

Hao Zeyu stood up, hopped on one foot, and said that he could still shoot.

Director Dachang didn't usually lose his temper very much, but this time he was furious, almost beating Hao Zeyu, and swearing a lot of Cantonese swear words.He said, do you think you are very powerful?Can the crew work without you?Are you going to play yourself as a cripple and only act in this movie for the rest of your life?If you don’t take good care of your body now, how will you film in the future?The director of the large intestine almost escorted him back to the hospital.

Even so, after ten days, Hao Zeyu was able to go to the ground a little bit, so he went back to filming, and provoked the big intestine director to scold him again.

Afterwards, when filming Hao Zeyu's scenes, there will still be a lot of filming.But I clearly feel that it used to be torture, but now it's a grind.Director Dachang looked at Hao Zeyu with a little appreciation.

Hao Zeyu felt that he had won.But because he didn't heal well, his knees started to hurt when it rained.

Is it worth it to exchange one knee for respect?Hao Zeyu said, it was worth it.

〔seven〕

For the wrap-up banquet, I think that director Dachang is crazy, he said he would cook himself and reward everyone.When it was rolled out, it was a roast suckling pig, and everyone ate it very deliciously.

I asked the director how he did it, and the director said, I remember telling you that the pig was soaked in wine overnight, and then baked in the oven.

Yes, the first time we met, I was topped with wine by the director. He said this way. Is there really such a dish?I thought he was lying to me.

The director asked me in Mandarin, is Fuzi a stage name?
I explained to him that Fu is a Manchu surname.

The director may have drunk too much and was very emotional. He said what a coincidence, my wife is also Manchu, and her grandmother is still a bitch.

Director Dachang told me the love story between him and his wife.He said that when he was young, he helped in the kitchen. His wife ate at that restaurant and drank too much. He insisted that there were bugs in the dishes, so he came out to argue.His wife couldn't argue, so she poured wine on his head, and the two got to know each other like that.Afterwards, many things happened, the two actually dated and went all the way to get married and have children.Later, he switched careers to work in a film company and became a director.Life was getting better and better, but his wife passed away.The infatuated Dachang director regretted that there was no chance for revenge, and he also wanted to pour wine on his wife.The director also said, the first time we met, when I saw you, I felt like when my wife was young, I was a little drunk at the time, and I thought, is this a chance for revenge.

I think this is a story made up by the director, but I don't believe it.He took out his wallet and showed me a picture of him with his wife.

I don't look like his wife at all except that I'm fat.I feel the malice of Hong Kong compatriots towards us fat people. Do you dare to love fat people all look the same?
Not only the director, but everyone else was dizzy that day.

As a person, I become very unrestrained after drinking a little wine. I sang "Dancing Girl Tears" loudly, and ate the tofu of the young men present, even the leading male lead.

The big intestine director clapped his hands there.

I said director, I ordered a love song, let's sing duet!

The director said a lot of Cantonese songs, but I couldn't sing them.

Finally, the director thought about it and said, "Then let's sing "My Chinese Heart"."

I laughed out loud when I heard that.

From then on, I learned a truth, absolutely can not judge a person's heart from his words.Compared with the solemnity of the director's singing of this song, I seemed very unreserved. I sang "My Chinese Heart" very coquettishly, and finally clasped my fingers with the director.

At the end of the song, the director confessed to me and continued to make old mistakes, "I came to China to film, the happiest thing is to meet Miss Fuzi." Forget it, because you have a Chinese heart, I will not Paranoid to correct you friends.

Hao Zeyu held the wine bottle and watched me go crazy with a smile.He also drank a lot that night.His popularity was the highest, and many young women of the right age present had a drink with him, and after drinking, they held hands and talked to Hao Zeyu for a long time.If Hao Zeyu hadn't guarded himself like a jade, he felt that the young women would collectively strip him naked.

In the end, Hao Zeyu took my hand and went back to the room. I was a little dissatisfied with him.Producer Yang also got drunk tonight, and said he wanted to rule me out. He ruined my good business, and I rarely have the opportunity to open.

On the last night in Hengdian, Hao Zeyu told me not to sleep on the sofa and asked me to sleep on the bed.Sharing the same bed with Hao Zeyu, I was so moved that I burst into tears - I haven't been next to the bed for several months.Compared with the bed, sleeping next to a handsome guy is nothing, I enjoy the happiness of sleeping on the bed without distraction.

I was gradually falling asleep, and half asleep, I heard Hao Zeyu say: "I really don't want this to end."

I asked, "What's wrong?"

He said: "Maybe tomorrow will not be so happy."

I laughed, and my laughter was like a pig's voice, and I said no, "From now on, every day of your life will be as happy as today."

"why?"

"Because...because..."

I dozed off and couldn't turn my head. I only remembered the last sentence I said, "Because of me."

(End of this chapter)