Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 10 Image Psychological Manipulation: Skillful Use of Language to Enhance Self-Charm (2)
The Chinese teacher had already designed a large set of speeches, but after listening to the student's speech, he was too embarrassed to speak again, knowing that his request was unreasonable, so he automatically gave up.

The judge's witty answer made the teacher realize step by step the unreasonableness of his request, so he voluntarily gave up the idea of ​​favoritism, and did not hurt the teacher's face, so that the teacher felt that he had received the respect he deserved. Also gained the teacher's understanding and respect.

Once, a diplomat was invited to a ball.At the ball, the French girl dancing with her suddenly asked: "Excuse me, sir, do you like Chinese women or our French women?" This question was both sudden and tricky.If you say you like French women, you will lose your national dignity; if you say you like Chinese women, you will not be polite enough to them.How to do it?The diplomat smiled and said politely: "I like any woman who likes me." The French girl smiled with satisfaction and was deeply impressed by the Chinese diplomat's witty answer.

The French girl's question is also a dilemma. She divides women into "Chinese women" and "French women". It is not ideal for a diplomat to choose any answer from the two, so this question is very difficult.But smart diplomats flexibly divide women into two categories: "those who like me" and "those who don't like me". This not only solves the problem, but also improves their image in the minds of French girls.

Similarly, when you encounter similar difficult problems, you must not panic and deal with them with a calm attitude. Your own psychological relaxation will leave enough time and space for thinking, and you will naturally be able to overcome the problems one by one. Easy to solve.

When the other party is furious, can you dispel the other party's anger with a few words?Do you have the ability to resolutely reject others without offending others, but also to enhance the relationship between the two parties?Do you have a voice that surprises and captivates when you speak?If the answer is yes, you will continue to work hard; on the contrary, start learning from now, it does not necessarily require how smart or eloquent, as long as you are good at observation, diligent in thinking, and understand the psychological changes of the other party , find a breakthrough in time, the problem will become extremely simple, and your witty image will be automatically established in the process of answering the question.

5. Humorous language adds points to charm

Humorous conversation is based on an open-minded and optimistic personality, and it is a manifestation of a person's ingenuity. Only by facing luck and misfortune with a humorous attitude can we make an objective evaluation and choice of yesterday's dusk, today's clouds, and tomorrow's sun.However, it is not easy to be truly humorous, and it requires people to have a high level of cultural literacy.

A sense of humor may be innate, but it can also be learned through learning.

First of all, to accumulate humor material.Read more cartoons and jokes, experience the sense of humor from them, learn to appreciate humor, and over time, you can create your own humor.

Secondly, you can also appreciate other people's sense of humor.Learn to understand jokes and imitate them.Open your mind to all kinds of people and things that will leave traces in your heart and become a reservoir of humor.

Third, keep a good mood at all times.A happy mood is the "soil" for cultivating a sense of humor. If you are depressed and unhappy all day long, it is impossible to create a sense of humor that belongs to happiness.

These are the prerequisites for developing humor, but these alone are not enough.To become a humorous person, you need to master certain methods.There are many methods of humor, such as exaggeration, irony, irony, puns, etc., all of which can achieve a certain humorous effect.Below are some of the most commonly used methods of humor.

1. Self-deprecating method.Taking the initiative to make jokes in a healthy mood is recognized as the most humorous and also the most difficult thing to do. Once you do it, it shows that you have already possessed the greatest quality of humor.Some people like to make fun of others, which is very different from the effect of self-mockery.Making fun of others will only arouse the disgust of the other party, and will also be looked down upon by bystanders.But self-deprecating is different. He will make everyone around you think that you are amiable, humorous and personable, thereby narrowing the distance between yourself and others.A person who knows how to laugh at himself expresses his humility without leaving any trace, and makes others unarmed involuntarily, so he can easily mingle with others.Therefore, it is better to build the happiness of everyone on your own pain than to build your own happiness on the pain of others.

2. Exaggerating the truth.For example, child: "Mom, I just saw hundreds of dogs on the road!" Mom impatiently: "Nonsense, I've told you thousands of times, don't be so exaggerated!"

"I'm bored", "I'm so busy", "I'm so laughing", "I'm so angry", some people say "die" several times a day.What it represents is not a real phenomenon, but it can show the "power" of emotion.The so-called exaggeration is to make you happy and make you laugh.

Exaggerated and false humor will make people open-minded and stop worrying about it, so that they can effectively train their subtle observation skills and find problems worth discovering and highlighting in life.

3. Joke avoidance method.Gorbachev became the general secretary of the CPSU Central Committee at the age of 54. At that time, people all over the world paid close attention to him and wanted to see where this young national leader would lead the Soviet Union.

At the press conference held by Gorbachev, an American reporter asked him: "Your Excellency Gorbachev, we all know that you are a radical leader, but when you decided on the cabinet list, Will you discuss it with the heavyweight backer at the top first?" Gorbachev replied with a straight face on purpose: "Hey! Mr. reporter, please pay attention, on this occasion, please don't mention my lady."

When communication encounters obstacles, the expression method of "joking" can disturb the other party's thinking logic, make others confused or make mistakes in judgment because of this abrupt expression, and then you can take the opportunity to get away calmly or change the topic Focus, thereby defusing embarrassment and stress.

4. Acrimony.When using the vitriolic method, you must first increase your social sensitivity, and carefully observe whether the other party has a "anti-drug" physique. If the other party cannot withstand your "toxin" attack, it will be troublesome.Be sure that you can hurt others, but you can hold them up after the damage, this is "poisoning" and "detoxification".

Ji Xiaolan, a bachelor, is such a master of humor with ease.Once when he celebrated the birthday of a friend's mother, when Xi chanted a birthday poem, he said "this old lady is not human" at the beginning. The four guests were shocked, but Ji Xiaolan calmly read "Nine days The fairy descends to the mortal world", everyone breathed a sigh of relief and applauded.Ji Xiaolan said again, "Give birth to a son but become a thief", the face of the host of the banquet suddenly changed, and everyone was speechless.Unexpectedly, Ji Xiaolan said calmly, "I stole a flat peach and presented it to my mother", so everyone cheered.

Here I would like to remind everyone that the true meaning of "sourness" is: sharp but not piercing, sour but not bitter, engraving without leaving marks, thin but not dangerous.No matter how humorous and entertaining you are, you should also leave a step for people and be kind.If you can only let it go but have no ability to take it back, I advise you to practice more, so as not to hurt others or yourself.

If you want to practice to become a witty person, start cultivating your own humor cells from now on.But it should be noted that when joking, you should make fun of it with good intentions to promote mutual emotional exchanges, rather than maliciously making fun of each other and taking advantage of each other.Joking must distinguish between good and evil, grasp the scale.The principle of humor should never be sloppy. Different problems should be treated differently. When dealing with problems, we should be extremely flexible, so as to be humorous and not out of the ordinary, so that humor can provide real nourishment for human spiritual life.

Humorous conversation represents people's cheerful and optimistic personality, and is a sign of a person's intelligence and wisdom. It requires people to have high cultural accomplishment.Just knowing the method of humor is not enough to show that you are full of humor, just like having a brush does not necessarily make you a calligrapher, the key is to use it.

Someone compares the success of a career to the peak of a high mountain, but on the journey, a person's humor can make him even more powerful.Humor can be called a "lighthouse" in the pursuit of career.

As one famous person said: "The average person with a sense of humor has an outstanding personality, can feel at ease with his own strength, and deal with any difficult situation alone." Any disturbance from the outside world creates a disconnection from the sense of loss from time to time.A humorous state of mind can constantly vent out the heavy sense of loss, and gradually make these unsatisfactory things disappear, so that people living in modern society can live a relaxed, comfortable, joyful and happy life, and success in their careers is just around the corner.

Therefore, humor has infinite power. It can change a rigid and rigid personal image, improve interpersonal relationships, and enable people to transcend mediocrity and achieve success in their careers.A humorous person can release his own charm in interpersonal communication and bring laughter to the people around him, so as to eliminate the psychological barrier between people and make himself and the people and things around him blend in an intimate atmosphere Therefore, it is very popular with everyone.

6. Plain and popular language is the most contagious
"Birds of a feather flock together".Whether we like to admit it or not, in daily life people like to classify themselves into ranks and groups consciously or unconsciously.From a psychological point of view, we like to get along with those who are similar to ourselves, because these people are ordinary people like us, and they express ordinary feelings in plain language, which makes people feel cordial and without distance.Of course, if you hear a great or successful person talking to people in the most plain and popular language, you will immediately like this person.On the contrary, if a person who is full of "Zhihuzheye", academic terminology, and philosophical laws appears in front of you, I believe most people will choose to stay away.

Please remember: No matter how outstanding you are, you are first of all an ordinary person. If you want to communicate with others and be accepted by others, you cannot live in your own world and speak words that only you can understand.Your language directly reflects what kind of person you are. Others can easily judge whether you and him are from the same "country" through what you say, and choose to mingle with you or draw a line with you.

Presumably most people are unwilling to be isolated, so please abandon the words and deeds that make people isolated.Use the plainest and most popular language to communicate, because the more simple things are, the more vitality and appeal they have.The charm of language is that it is a tool for communicating ideas between people, allowing people to achieve the purpose of communication.Speaking must be attractive and convincing. Plain and popular language is the most effective. The more gorgeous the rhetoric and the more complicated the rhyme, the more difficult it is for people to accept.Because most people don't like gorgeous rhetoric very much, they prefer to accept the narrative method of seeking truth from facts, concise and clear.

Lao Tzu said: "Believe in words is not beautiful, but in good words do not believe." I often speak some flashy language, use a lot of adjectives and descriptive words, pile up a lot of rhetoric, excessive exaggeration, etc., at least it will make people feel ostentatious and pompous , it will make people feel false and insincere.However, "sincerity" is the basis of communication between people. Once people feel that you lack sincerity, it will be difficult for people to believe what you say.In this way, the purpose you hope to achieve when you speak cannot be achieved, which is the failure of expression.

Of course, plain and popular is not the same as poor, monotonous, and rigid, nor does it mean that the vividness and liveliness of expression should be ignored.On the contrary, the more plain the language is, the more it needs to be injected with lively nourishment to enhance the effect of language expression.Only when the concept is plain and popular will it be closer to the audience, closer to life, and closer to your own style.

Due to the lively means and methods of composition, it must be restricted by the overall style.Therefore, liveliness in the true sense should be the diversity of angles and the creativity of the speaker, which cannot be achieved by relying solely on complicated and gorgeous language, or even by expressing words carefully.

Therefore, if you want to use plain and popular language to achieve a strong persuasive effect, you must pay attention to practicing more in your daily life.Plain language is not vulgar, low-level, or superficial. Therefore, you must not fall into the misunderstanding of using plain and popular language, otherwise people will think you are a person without connotation and cultural heritage.

Simple is not the same as ordinary, and popular is not equal to vulgar. The really good way of expression is the language that sounds easy to understand but has meaningful meaning. Unknowingly, I want to admire you and get close to you.

7. Retreat to advance and establish prestige

Everyone hopes that their image in others' minds is positive, even respected and admired by all, and they hope that their words can be heard and echoed everywhere.However, this is just the wish of most people, and not many people can really do it in reality.Your words and deeds often become obstacles to your establishment of prestige, and this situation usually occurs when you encounter rebuttals and hostility from others. People often lose the opportunity to establish prestige because they have not handled this situation well.A person who understands psychological manipulation can often seize such an opportunity and adopt a retreat-for-advance strategy to build his own image.

First of all, we must try our best to adjust the atmosphere of the conversation.If you ask questions instead of orders, and give people the opportunity to maintain self-esteem and honor, the atmosphere will be naturally friendly and harmonious, and the conversation will of course be successful; on the contrary, if you don’t give others the minimum respect during the conversation, you will always put on a domineering look Don't expect others to accept you and your opinions.Because everyone has self-esteem, no one wants to be manipulated by others.

A teacher took over the work of the head teacher of a poor class, and at this time, it was just in time for the school to arrange students in each class to participate in the labor of leveling the playground.When working, the students in the class hid in the shade, even if the teacher tried hard, it would not help.Later, the teacher thought of a way to make progress by retreating. He asked the students: "I know that you are not afraid of work, but are afraid of heat, right?"

The students were unwilling to say that they were lazy, and they all said that it was because the weather was too hot.The teacher said: "In this case, let's wait for the sun to go down and then do it. Now let's have fun." The students were very happy when they heard it.In order to mobilize the atmosphere, the teacher also bought ice cream for everyone to relieve the heat.In joking and playing, the students also accepted the teacher's method of persuasion, and after playing for a while, they took the initiative to work.And this teacher is also respected and recognized by everyone because he respects the students and does not force them to do anything.In the future, if the teacher gave any tasks, everyone would happily go there.

When the party secretary of a certain village led the masses to build a road, he fired cannons and rocks and broke a farmer's pear tree.And this pear tree was the family's source of income, so the owner stopped the branch secretary and demanded compensation.

The branch secretary said that after the fall, he would definitely pay, but the owner refused, so the brothers rushed up and beat the branch secretary.The party members and the masses in the village complained about the party secretary and demanded that the beatings be severely punished.The villagers' meeting was held the next day, and the troublemakers also felt wronged and prepared to accept punishment.

(End of this chapter)