Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 9 Image Psychological Manipulation: Skillful Use of Language to Enhance Self-Charm (1)
What kind of image you are in the eyes of others is related to your usual words and deeds.Whether your image is majestic, gentle, or humorous and humble, it will be reflected in your usual speech.If you want to make your image tall, beautiful, and respectable, you must first work on your personal conversation.Of course, if you want to establish what kind of image, you must understand people's psychological perception of this image, and then let your words and deeds develop in this direction, and the ideal image in your mind will naturally be established.

1. The tone is soft and gentle, both internal and external, achieving a moving conversation
Those shining stars in the social field often have touching speeches.It can be seen that speaking plays an immeasurable role in social interaction. At the same time, the tone and voice of the speaker are particularly important.

As the saying goes, "One sentence can make people laugh, but it can also make people jump."Usually, the language that makes someone say "laugh" is soft and sweet.Throughout the ages, being kind and pleasant to others has been regarded as a virtue.Therefore, speaking softly is also a way of speaking that is worth advocating.

Soft-spoken conversation is mainly manifested in kind tone, soft tone, implicit language, tactful wording, and natural reasoning.This kind of conversation will make the other party feel cordial and pleasant, and the words spoken are easy to be heard and effective, and often have the effect of conquering strength with softness.

People who have met Roosevelt are all in awe of his extensive knowledge.A person who visited him once said: "No matter who the visitor is, cowboy, brave cavalry, politician or diplomat, Roosevelt can find a topic that matches the other party's status and make each other's conversation easy and pleasant."

In 1940, Britain, which was on the front line, had no money to "cash and carry" military supplies from the United States. Some Americans wanted to give up aid to Britain, but they did not see the serious situation.President Roosevelt promoted the Lend-Lease Act at a press conference to persuade them, successfully creating an atmosphere of public opinion for Congress to pass this law.

At the beginning, Roosevelt did not directly accuse these people of short-sightedness, because this would have no other effect except to offend the public and get counterproductive results.At this time, Roosevelt explained to everyone the stakes of the matter in earnest.He uses easy-to-understand metaphors to explain the profound things in a simple way, and he hits the key points, so that people have to be convinced.At this time, Roosevelt was even more witty and convincing. He said: "If my neighbor's house catches fire, I have a section of hose for watering the garden four or five hundred feet away. , and maybe help him put out the fire before it spreads to my house. What should I do? I can't say to him before putting out the fire: 'Hey man, I bought this pipe for $15 Come on, you have to pay the price.' And at this time, the neighbor happens to have no money, so what should I do? I should not take his $15, but let him give me the hose after putting out the fire. If When the fire goes out and the hose is still intact, he will thank you and return it to the original owner. And if he breaks the hose because of the fire, but promises to pay for it, now I get back a still usable It doesn’t hurt to use a garden hose like that.”

President Roosevelt's belief in aiding Britain was very firm, but he did not express it directly with a tough attitude, but used popular metaphors to express his true thoughts, thus achieving a better persuasive effect.

It can be seen that there are many ways to achieve the goal, but the best one is often seemingly soft, but in fact softness brings strength.Here we would like to point out that there are some things that must be paid attention to when using soft words.

First of all, it is necessary to strengthen personal ideological cultivation and character training.We know that the beauty of language is a concrete manifestation of the beauty of the soul.A person with an ugly heart will never speak a beautiful language, only a kind heart can speak kind words.

Secondly, speaking softly, there are some special requirements on word making and sentence making, intonation and tone.For example, pay attention to the use of respectful words and polite language to express respect for the other party's views and feelings, so as to arouse the other party's favor.In particular, avoid using rude and dirty words during the conversation.In terms of sentence patterns, try to use less "negative sentences" and more "affirmative sentences"; in terms of words, pay attention to emotional color, use more commendatory words and neutral words, and use less derogatory words to reduce irritation; Be tactful and elegant.

Peace of mind is a kind of demeanor, and it is a kind of bearing. A soft and peaceful tone and a beautiful voice will make vexatious people ashamed, and make reasonable people happy to communicate with you.In daily life, there are many outspoken people who are kind and beautiful in their hearts, but what they say, even with good intentions, is not easy to accept. The reason is that the way they express their language is direct and tough.For such a person, it is better to meet someone who understands his personality, but if he meets someone who does not understand himself, he will be unhappy.The beauty of the heart is expressed in a beautiful external form, and the effect must be the best.Therefore, moving speech requires both internal and external training.

2. Contrary to the truth to highlight the true nature of wisdom
It is not an easy task to make others accept your opinions and suggestions happily and cooperatively. It requires you to use your brains and strategies. "Say the truth" is such an effective strategy. When the problem encounters resistance and you don't want to beg for help in a low-key way, using the way of saying the truth will often receive rapid and satisfactory results.

Youzhan of the Qin State is less than three feet tall, but he can often use humorous and funny words to achieve the effect of seeing the big from the small and pointing out the current disadvantages.He is very good at mastering the other party's psychology by telling the truth, so as to achieve the purpose of persuasion, so that even the very cruel Qin Shihuang and the extremely fatuous Qin Ershi look at him differently.

Not long after Qin Shihuang unified the world, he once held a banquet in the court. Before the banquet started, there was a sudden heavy rain, which made the waiters outside the palace soaked.The cold wind blew, and the waiter couldn't help shivering.Youzhan came to the banquet, saw the poor look of the waiter when he entered the door, and felt sympathetic, so he asked the waiter: "Since it is so uncomfortable, why don't you take shelter from the rain?" The waiter pretended to be strong and said: "This is my duty. , dare not slack off in the slightest. This is nothing, and the villain can still persist." Youzhan thought for a while, wanting to help the guard, so he said: "After a while, when I call your name, You immediately agree loudly."

The waiter had heard about You Zhan's ability for a long time, and thought that he must have his own reasons for such an order, so he nodded in agreement.Later, the banquet began, and the officials in the palace shouted long live three times. The scene was very spectacular.Just when everyone was about to toast and drink, Youzhan suddenly climbed onto the railing and shouted the waiter's name outside.The waiter promised loudly, and for a moment, all the people present looked there.Youzhan said to the waiter as if no one was around: "Although you are tall and mighty, and you are very loyal to your duties, so what? When the heavy rain is pouring, you can only stand in the heavy rain and get wet. I Youzhan Although Zhan is short in stature and ugly in appearance, he can sit in the hall and drink to his heart's content." After Qin Shihuang heard these words, he understood Youzhan's implication, and soon, the waiter was promoted and reused.

After the death of Qin Shihuang, the second emperor Hu Hai succeeded to the throne. Because he listened to the slander of the eunuch Zhao Gao, he planned to use lacquer to paint the city walls of Kyoto.But what was unexpected was that he met the second emperor and said: "The emperor's idea is really brilliant. Even if the emperor doesn't bring it up, I'm going to propose it like this." The second emperor knows Youzhan's temper well, so he is cautious Looking at You Zhan carefully.Youzhan went on to say: "Although the matter of painting the city wall with paint will waste people's money and money, it is inevitable for everyone to complain. But they are people with humble experience. How can they realize the beauty of doing this? Where are they? You know, this city wall is painted shiny and shiny, even if there are enemies coming to attack, they will not be able to climb up. The emperor took this action and dismantled the soldiers of all ages, it is so wise and great." The second emperor heard the meaning in his words and understood He deliberately said the opposite, and realized that his actions were indeed a waste of money and people, so he never mentioned it from then on. He also saw Youzhan's ability and wisdom, and he had a little more respect for him from the bottom of his heart.

Rebuttal is an art. Direct persuasion often arouses resentment from the other party. In this way, the essence of opposition is euphemistically expressed in the appearance of approval, so that the other party realizes the absurdity of their own actions, so as to achieve the effect of persuasion .At the same time, telling the truth can highlight a person's true nature of wisdom, and make the listener feel admiration and fear for you, and then respect you more.

3. Moderate self-defense earns respect

When you are talking to someone, the other person suddenly provokes you.At this time, how should you deal with it?
Of course, you have to take appropriate measures according to the situation.In some cases, the best way is to gently decline the other party's provocation.So as to avoid some pointless disputes that are about to explode.Let’s look at some basic methods first.

1. It can send a signal that interferes with the opponent's transmitter.This way you can make the other party's inquiries or accusations useless, and you don't have to think about how to answer them.

A female student at Dublin Theological Seminary had an experience she will never forget.At that time, she was determined to interview a world-famous author, Samuel Baker, who was notoriously unwilling to accept interviews from anyone.The "newborn calf" did not waver. She went to Paris and camped in front of Baker's door, hoping to wait until Baker changed his mind to accept her interview.The hard work paid off, and finally Baker was moved with compassion and agreed to accept her interview.But there is one condition, that is, the visit must be conducted during lunch time, so as not to affect his work after lunch.

The interview took place in a nearby cafe. At the beginning, Baker asked the female student many questions about her background, aspirations and hobbies, and the female student responded enthusiastically immediately.Afterwards, the female classmate found out that this visit had nothing to gain except sharing a good lunch with Baker.

Baker understood people's psychology very well, and he used very skillfully the basic principle of getting along with people, that is: most people are far more interested in themselves than in other people.Shifting the focus of the topic to the other party is undoubtedly a smart and harmless way of self-defense.

2. The second way: adopt strategic obfuscation.That is to say, at a critical moment, you pretend to be an imbecile all of a sudden, and you can't understand what the other party is saying.There's a scene in the movie "Annie Hall" that uses this technique.

A weary Woody Allen gets a late-night call from Diane Keaton about a creepy spider in her room.After a wonderful scene where the hero saved the beauty, the two embraced and lay down. Diane Keaton asked Woody Allen in an incriminating tone, was there another woman lying on his bed when he called him just now?Woody Allen immediately turned cold and asked in confusion, "What do you mean?"

This is undoubtedly the best sentence in the whole film.Not because he asked this question abruptly, knowing that Wood would never understand Diane's meaning, but because this sentence best expressed the resonance of many similar embarrassing situations.And it is true, if we gather into a secret society all those who have done wrong with their consciences, I believe they will ask each other "What do you mean?"

Even better, this quote has always been very effective.No one can resist the temptation of this sentence, and they can't help immediately annotating and explaining the original question sentence, and even revealing the hidden intention of the original question sentence.

As a result, the problem that may explode at any time will be like an explosive whose fuse has been defused, without lethality.

Another technique similar to "strategic confusion" is the "manufacturing" confusion we will talk about next.No one wants to hang out with a mentally ill person unless he is also mentally ill.For example, if a malicious intruder reaches out at a party and pulls you to a corner and asks if there is any program after the party, you can say earnestly, "Does the cloudy day make you irritable?" If a lady who loves to inquire into other people's details keeps asking you "are you married" and other such questions, you can answer her: "I am an international exchange student." Don't underestimate these nonsensical words, it can really cause great harm to the other party. big trouble.

3. When someone hits you on the right cheek, give him the left cheek as well.This is one of the best ways to deal with opponents with high verbal aggression.

For example, if someone calls you a sneaky jerk to your face, you can immediately respond, "I totally agree with you, but I'd love to know what you think I've done the most sneaky thing?" Or the other person says : "You are the laziest person I have ever met!" You can answer: "You are so right, so would you tell me when you first noticed?" , you can fish him for as long as you want.At this time, if he wants to break free from your hook, you can continue to encourage him to point out your other shortcomings.See how he still throws the hook off.

Of course, this method requires you to have great self-confidence. As for some people, they don't have enough time or energy to carry out this kind of long-term "war of resistance", so let's "leave it on one side".At this time, you must actively participate in the other party's accusation, and scold your own inappropriate behavior or shortcomings together with the other party.

4. Keep silent.Facing the provocation of the other party, if you are not sure which way to answer, then keep silent.As long as you don't participate in the debate, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose.At the same time, the other party will expose his shortcomings in the endless self-talk.Therefore, you don't have to worry about the consequences of playing deaf at all.

Tai Chi in our country pays attention to the use of softness to overcome rigidity, and this principle can also be followed when talking with people.In the case of equal strength, a head-on confrontation will not gain any benefits except that both sides will suffer.That is to say, we can deal with all unfavorable factors in a soft way.Softness is not weakness, but a kind of tenacity, a kind of elasticity. When someone speaks badly to you, when someone throws fists at you, don't retaliate impulsively, but use gentleness to ease the coldness of the other side, and deal with the toughness of the other side with flexibility. .Your gentle counterattack will not only not show your cowardice, but will make others feel the message of your inviolability. When they meet you again in the future, they will restrain their speech and even admire and respect you very much.

4. Respond wittily and gain favor

The younger brother of a Chinese teacher is in court due to a civil dispute, and the case happens to be taken over by the teacher's former favorite student.One night, the teacher went to the student's house, hoping that he would think of the teacher-student friendship and pull his wrist towards his brother.

The judge was in a dilemma. He couldn't desecrate the dignity of the law, and he couldn't offend his teacher.The judge said: "Teacher, you have always been the teacher I admire most."

The teacher said modestly: "How can you say that, I am not the best, every teacher has his strengths."

The judge went on to say, "Your lectures were cadenced and full of emotion. I still remember the lesson "The Calabash Monk Judging the Gourd Case" in particular."

The Chinese teacher also quickly entered the role: "Yes, at that time I was not only speaking with my mouth, but also with my heart. Xue Pan killed someone, but he was still at large and didn't care. This reflects the feudal bureaucracy at that time. dark reality."

"That's right, the official protection talisman caused the Feng family to sue for a year, but no one was willing to stand up and uphold justice. The murderer, Xue Pan, was at large... Jia Yucun also bent the law for his own sake and judged the case indiscriminately." The judge sighed and said: " I remember at that time, teacher, after you finished this lesson, you warned us that no matter who becomes a judge in the future, don’t be a foolish judge and judge foolish cases, and the students always take your words as their motto.”

(End of this chapter)