Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 8 Self-Psychological Manipulation: Using Language to Overcome Psychological Obstacles (4)
5. To persuade or persuade others.For example, negotiations, debates, criticisms, court defenses, campaign speeches, reform proposals, etc., mostly try to change a certain concept or belief of the other party and prevent the other party from taking a certain action.

Adhering to the principle of speaking according to the purpose and clarifying the purpose of speaking are the first conditions for the success of speaking.With a clear purpose, conversation and social interaction can often achieve good results, and sometimes even make the speaker quick-witted and save the day.

In our daily life and interpersonal communication, gaffes are inevitable.There are many reasons for gaffes, but the most fundamental reason is often the lack of a clear sense of purpose.Only when the purpose is clarified, can we know what topics and materials to prepare, what style of language to adopt, and what skills to use, so that we can be targeted and adapt to the situation on the spot.If the purpose is not clear, and the other party will not know what to say and don't know what to do if they talk nonsense and talk about it regardless of the occasion.Such conversations often fall short of their intended purpose.It will also make the other person feel bored, so the purpose of the conversation is very important.

Therefore, before speaking every time, you might as well ask yourself: "Why should I say it?" or: "Why do people want me to say it?" Think about the possible effects in advance, and take the expected effect as a goal and work hard for it.

After clarifying the purpose of expression, the next step is the problem of expression skills.Expressive skill refers to the subtle skill of manipulating language.In the process of interpersonal communication, if you want to successfully convey the correct information, you cannot do without the use of expression skills.

Mr. Ye Shengtao once said: "The most important thing to pay attention to is to choose the most appropriate form to express the true meaning." It can be seen that the key point of speech skills is to choose the most appropriate form of language expression in order to better express emotions.

The formation of expression skills is inseparable from the following factors: long-term life experience and ideological and cultural accomplishment; mastery of language expression ability; insight into the occasion and situation at that time.

In the actual use of language, only the joint action of these three factors can achieve the perfect unity of expression content and form according to the actual situation.

Life experience and the cultivation of ideological and cultural accomplishment are the basis of language expression ability.Only by having long-term life experience and profound cultural knowledge, constantly increasing knowledge, and working hard to exercise the ability to respond can we "speak without being startling and endlessly dead".

Of course, the so-called language skills, on the one hand, cannot be regarded as a coup that will never fail, but on the other hand, it should be seen that all examples of successful use of language skills must be the result of using language according to the situation and just right .For those who are not very familiar with the grasp of language and psychological endurance, if they can clarify the motivation and purpose of their speech in advance, coupled with the study, mastery and application of the essentials of expression, they will be able to speak in the future. The ability to speak has improved a lot, and the distance from being a good conversationalist is not far away.

10. Find shortcuts to conversation

After the above psychological and technical training on language expression, I believe you can let go of your psychological burden and be able to share pleasant conversations with strangers.However, it must be clear that what you want should not be just these.To make the conversation meaningful and rewarding, your attention should be shifted from yourself to the other party in a timely manner. Now the object of your psychological manipulation is your interlocutor.You need to be able to decide how to talk to each other immediately when you are with strangers.

When facing a stranger, everyone hopes to find a quick way to find out his interests and emotions when starting a conversation with him. Below we introduce several methods for reference, which will help you quickly communicate with strangers. People engage in communication.Try these methods, and after a while, you'll be amazed at how quickly you become proficient at using them. Before you know it, you'll not only enjoy meaningful conversations with strangers, but you'll also find that you've developed How to naturally start dealing with strangers.

1. Determine the character of the other party.Suppose you have just introduced yourself to a stranger, and after a few friendly words, you stop to give him a chance to speak, and his response is silence.The silent partner throws the opportunity to speak back to you intact. If you don't continue to guide, the conversation cannot continue.In this case, remember not to let his silence annoy you, but ask yourself "Why is the other person silent" until you find the answer.

Do you keep silent because you want to be quiet?Many quiet people have enough knowledge and ability to have a good conversation, but they prefer not to speak until they have found a good reason to speak.The best way to tell if someone is this quiet type is to keep looking for his interests.

If your question gets him to talk, you've broken his reserve and the conversation can continue.But if you have asked three or four questions, and the other party still answers briefly and uninterestedly, then you should back off, maybe at this time the other party really needs to be alone and is not interested in talking.

This kind of silent person has strong opinions and has his own judgment on other people's actions and topics.Because of his strong opinions, he despises those actions and discussions that do not meet his requirements. This kind of person seldom actively guides the conversation, and he would rather not speak.Most people find it uncomfortable and difficult to talk to such a person, so they tend to stay away from them.However, such people abound, and we will inevitably meet them and have to talk to them. In such cases, it is best for us to speak as slowly as possible, as if entering deep water on an unfamiliar beach. It was always time to move slowly and carefully, keeping an eye out for the reefs.

Many people are willing to join in a lively conversation, and these people are no exception, yet their natural reticence makes them need someone to help them get started.Therefore, when you meet such people, you must do your part to lead the conversation and discuss with them enthusiastically.These naturally quiet people are actually happy to join in an interesting conversation, all they need is a guide, and it won't take long before you'll have a good conversation.

We know that there are people with various personalities in the world, and it is impossible for us to only meet this kind of quiet person, so when you meet a dynamic person, how do you deal with it?Just as you would with a silent person, keep asking yourself "is he naturally warm?"If so, and you are very sincere, you don't have to keep it.Let's talk, your discussion will be lively and pleasant.

If he is energized by some recent experience, say you met a guy shortly after he was raved by his boss for a job well done.At this point, although he doesn't speak directly about the compliments he's receiving, his ego is high and he wants to be the center of the conversation.At this point, if you keep talking endlessly, you will only annoy him.Therefore, you should give him a chance to speak, and let him take up most of the conversation. The final result is that you must please him very much.

If you sense someone's recent ego boost is what's energizing his conversation, definitely don't compete with him.You'll only annoy him if you interrupt him while he's reveling in his triumph.The best thing you can do is lean back and be a good listener.Be a good listener and let the other person speak freely, and he will appreciate your understanding and take a deep liking to you for it.

2. Judge the level of knowledge of the other party.Easily be yourself in the presence of knowledgeable people and you will earn their respect.If you try to pretend you're smart, you're often caught off guard very quickly.It is best to use everyday language, and only speak when it comes to topics you understand.At this time, the other party will usually change the topic and discuss with you a topic that you fully understand, so that the conversation becomes pleasant and interesting.

For those who put on airs, we need to understand their behavior, they may be acting like this, they may be insecure or trying to impress you.If he comes off as overly knowledgeable at the outset, quoting frequently, or using unfamiliar words where unnecessary, you can be sure that the person you're talking to is purely an "actor."

If it's the former, you should keep it easy, get him to relax, talk in simple terms, listen attentively, show interest in what he has to say, and respect him personally.It won't be long before he reads from your words that you want to talk to him.Then, he may relax and talk to you naturally, and you create another pleasant conversation.If it's the latter, you might as well just stop talking.

For people who are smart, not bluffing, and down to earth, just take it easy and talk to them as you normally would, and you'll be on your way to another meaningful, fruitful conversation in no time.

Through such a shortcut, you will find that different people have different personalities and hobbies. As long as you guess the personality of a stranger, no matter who they are, they can have a smooth conversation with you within a few minutes of meeting.This way, you can learn more about the personality of the stranger.When his strangeness and freshness fade away, you will find that these shortcuts have allowed you to find out where the other person's interests and emotions lie.Once you've done this, you've taken a big step toward making new friends and enjoying productive conversations.

(End of this chapter)