Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 7 Self-Psychological Manipulation: Using Language to Overcome Psychological Obstacles (3)
Please believe that as long as we study hard, memorize and think diligently, ponder and persevere, we will be able to taste the mellow flavor of language. If we can use it repeatedly and learn it tirelessly, we will be able to learn as Mr. Guo Moruo said over time. : "Find the Dharma in the inability, and seek other things after you have the Dharma."As long as we come prepared at all times, speaking is nothing to be afraid of, because if you are well prepared, you will naturally be able to "block when soldiers come, and cover when water comes".

8. Use body language skillfully to make speech more attractive

The expression of language does not only refer to speech. The reason why a successful speech can capture people's hearts is not only the content of the language itself but also its appeal, and the most direct source of this appeal is people's body language.Because vocal language also has deficiencies, and this deficiency can be made up for by body language. Body language assists vocal language to express the content accurately and accurately through various actions and expressions that are tangible, visible, and expressive.The two-pronged function of sight and hearing can give the listener a complete and accurate impression, so as to better express the meaning. At the same time, a decent appearance can also make you more confident when speaking.

To use body language skillfully, you must first know how to design the perfect body language.In daily life, people's gestures, every frown and smile will convey a lot of information, revealing the subject's thoughts and emotions, likes and dislikes, and cultural accomplishment.The design and application of body language make the conversation full of emotion, form and spirit, and make the talker more graceful.

1. Proper sitting posture.Except for speeches, most of them are sitting when they speak.There are many kinds of sitting. Some people like to sit in the middle and let everyone sit around them;In fact, the best seat is to face the audience, so that the audience can see themselves clearly.Sitting posture is more important, you must keep it natural and upright, never lean in the chair or cross your legs, and don't put your arms on the back of the chair, this will often lead to contempt, so you must always pay attention to these.

2. Legs that cannot be ignored.Whether sitting or standing, the legs tend to assume one of three positions: legs apart, legs together, and legs crossed.A posture with legs apart is an open posture, showing stability, confidence, and a tendency to accept each other; a posture with legs together is too serious and serious; a posture with legs crossed is a defensive posture, which is often shy, shy, and timid Or casual, loose performance.

There is also a posture called crossing the legs, which is what we often call crossing the legs.The cross-legged position is often a body signal to control negative emotions, and experts say it's "quite informal" and it's a bad position, especially for women.

When you're talking, it's best to adopt the first position, with your legs apart.When standing, the legs should be spread apart, and the feet should form a "D" shape steadily, or face each other in parallel, or one behind the other, with the trunk straight. Be careful not to bend your knees or bend your back, otherwise you will appear passive, lazy and listless.When sitting, you should sit upright, with your legs slightly apart, and the distance between them should not exceed shoulder width. Women should pay more attention not to spread too much, and keep your waist straight. In this way, the natural and calm posture will be displayed in front of everyone. Not only do I appear emotionally full, but I also infect other people.

3. Free hands.When expressing an opinion, be sure to pay special attention to how you place your hands.At this time, the best way to place them is to forget about them and let them naturally vertical on the sides of the body.If you think they are cumbersome and unnatural, you might as well put them in your pocket or on your back.In short, the ultimate goal is to calm your emotions without paying too much attention to whether they are in the way, let alone whether the audience will pay attention to the position of your hands.

If you focus on expressing your true feelings while speaking, your hands will become the tools of your expression, and they will help you speak.They lift and lower naturally when needed.However, it should be noted that you must not deliberately cross your hands in front of your chest, let alone forcefully support them on the desk, as this will hinder your body from moving freely.And if you are always playing with your clothes, you will distract the attention of the audience, and you will appear foolish yourself.

4. Emotional expression.Facial expression mainly refers to the reaction actions of various parts of the face to emotional experience.It works best with speech, so it is used much more frequently than gestures.

The meanings of commonly used facial expressions are: nodding to express agreement, shaking the head to express negative; raising the head to express pride, lowering the head to express submission; bowing the head to express frustration, tilting the head to express dissatisfaction; biting the lip to express firmness, curling the mouth to express contempt; the corners of the mouth are upwards to express happiness, and the corners of the mouth are downwards To express hostility; to open mouth and show teeth to express happiness, to gnash teeth to express anger;

5. The eyes can speak.When talking, be brave and good at making eye contact with others. This is not only a kind of politeness, but also a bond of communication between two people. It can help both parties in the conversation maintain a connection, and the conversation can continue through frequent eye contact. .More importantly, the eyes can help you speak.

During a conversation, people who are unwilling to make eye contact often make people feel that they are trying to hide something or hide something in their hearts; blinking eyes make people feel mentally unstable or dishonest; if you almost Not looking at the other person is basically a sign of cowardice and lack of self-confidence, which hinder expression.Of course, the point to be emphasized here is that making eye contact with others does not mean always staring at each other.

A study shows that when talking, it is better to spend 30% to 60% of the time of eye contact with the other person's face. If it exceeds this limit, it will make people feel that you are comparing the content of each other's conversation with the other person On the contrary, it means that you are not very interested in each other's conversation content and the other person himself.Such behavior is generally considered disrespectful.

However, monologue speeches in assemblies, such as speeches, reports, news releases, product promotions, etc., are different, because in these occasions, the speaker and the audience have a large space distance and a wide field of vision, and must continuously focus on the audience , or head-up, or glance, or point-of-view, or virtual vision, only in this way can we establish a continuous connection with the audience in order to receive the best results.

In short, the language that can impress people is not purely vocal language, and other auxiliary languages ​​also play a decisive role.A person's speech and behavior all reveal a certain language information, allowing people to see a person's quality.Although pure body language cannot achieve the expressive effect of spoken language, the effect of spoken language can be enhanced through the use of body language.Therefore, we must pay attention to body language. If it is used well, it will assist the spoken language to leave a better impression on people; impression.From now on, pay attention to your body language, and let your body language and vocal language achieve the best combination, so that your speech and even your whole person will be more attractive.

9. Clearly express the purpose and master the expression skills

The purpose of conversation is not just a social need, nor is it just to get to know each other and get to know each other.For example, you find a friend and ask him to join a group; invite a celebrity to be interviewed by you; ask a doctor to solve a medical problem; ask a lawyer to defend you;What is the difference between this kind of conversation and the conversation of ordinary social nature?It should be said that in some respects, the two are the same.You must have general conversation skills, you must be able to adapt to the other party, understand the other party's characteristics as much as possible, you must be interested, and your attitude must be friendly and sincere.But more places are different. This kind of conversation has a special purpose every time.To achieve this goal, the skills of conversation are even more needed.Now let's look at the purpose of the conversation.

Generally speaking, people speak for the following five purposes.

1. To impart information or knowledge to others.For example, classroom teaching, academic reports, on-site reports, product introductions, exhibition explanations, etc.

2. To attract someone's attention or interest.Mostly for social purposes, or to contact with people, or to communicate with people, or to show one's own existence, or to please people, such as greeting, entertaining, greeting, questioning, visiting, tour guide, introduction, host speech Wait.

3. Strive to gain the understanding and trust of others.For example, chatting, reminiscing about the old days, chatting about family affairs, falling in love, etc. are often aimed at exchanging feelings, enhancing friendship, and strengthening relationships.

4. Motivate or encourage others to do something.Designed to reinforce existing beliefs, build confidence, lift spirits, and sometimes demand responses in action, such as praise, advertising, negotiations, requests, inaugural speeches, motivational speeches, and parties, graduation ceremonies, and various commemorative events , Speeches at celebrations, etc.

(End of this chapter)