Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 13 Psychological Manipulation in the World: Knowing the Right Way to Make You Right and Right (2)
During a court banquet, Li Bai wrote three "Qing Ping Diao" to praise Yang Yuhuan's beauty when the wine was intoxicating.Poetry is a piece of cake for Li Bai.Ordinarily this is an excellent opportunity, but Li Bai only has big figures like Tang Xuanzong and Yang Guifei in his eyes.When he wrote these three poems, he asked Yang Guozhong to polish the ink for him himself, and ordered Gao Lishi, the eunuch who was deeply trusted by the emperor, to take off his boots for him.Gao Lishi always thought it was a shame, and he held a grudge against Li Bai ever since.

In Li Bai's poem, Yang Yuhuan is described as beautiful, like a fairy descending to earth.Yang Yuhuan liked it very much and often recited it alone.Li Bai mentioned Zhao Feiyan in his poem, and there was absolutely no sense of irony in Li Bai's poem. He just compared Zhao Feiyan's beauty with the favored Yang Yuhuan.However, the metaphorical thing and the compared thing cannot be the coincidence of all characteristics.This made the grudge Gao Lishi seize the opportunity of revenge.

One day, Gao Lishi heard Yang Yuhuan reciting "Qingping Diao" again, so he said jokingly: "I thought you would hate Li Bai because of these poems, but I never thought you would like it so much." The noble concubine was very surprised when she heard this, and she asked in puzzlement: "Did Li Hanlin insult me?" Gao Lishi said: "Didn't you see that he compared you to Zhao Feiyan? She compares you to your empress. He clearly regards you as obscene and lowly like Zhao Feiyan!"

At that time, Yang Yuhuan was already a collection of "three thousand favorites", and her brothers and sisters were also prominent and powerful.The only thing she worries about is whether her status is stable, and she absolutely does not want to be seen as obscene and lowly like Zhao Feiyan, and she is even more worried that she will end up like her.Gao Lishi understood Yang Yuhuan's mind, and easily connected Li Bai's poem with Zhao Feiyan's fate, which suddenly turned the hymn into evidence of ridicule, and aroused Yang Yuhuan's resentment and hatred.Later, Tang Xuanzong wanted to promote Li Bai several times, but Yang Yuhuan stopped him.Gao Lishi used this method to avenge the humiliation of taking off his boots.

Although Li Bai was "bestowed" by Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty to return Jin Fang and retreated, he bid farewell to the political stage where he displayed his ambitions.From then on, he drank his sorrows with wine, wrote poems to express his feelings, and wandered in the rivers and lakes.

Compared with my bright future, it is not worth exchanging the former for the latter anyway.It is true that Li Bai's nobleness is worthy of our admiration, but if he behaves in this way completely in the world without any strategy, the consequences will range from hindering his future at least to getting into trouble at worst.

5. Take the initiative to admit mistakes and be less blamed

Usually, people think that admitting their mistakes is a very humiliating thing, but in fact, this is not the case.Admitting mistakes is also a science, and using appropriate language skills to cater to the other party's psychology can easily achieve the effect of four or two thousand catties.If you know that someone is going to criticize you, before he or she speaks, take the initiative to criticize yourself.In this case, nine times out of ten he will adopt a tolerant attitude and be able to forgive your mistakes.An experience of Dale Carnegie illustrates this point well.

Dale Carnegie's home is close to the center of New York City, not far from a large forest, where he often takes his little pug for a walk.Since he rarely met people in the forest, he kept his dog unmuzzled and unleashed.

Dale Carnegie came across a mounted policeman while walking one day.The mounted policeman said angrily: "You don't put a leash on this dog, don't put a muzzle on it, and let it run around here, what do you mean? Don't you understand that this is illegal? "No, I know. But I don't think it can do anything bad here," Dale Carnegie explained.

"You think it won't? The law doesn't care what you think! This dog may kill a squirrel and injure a child. I don't mind this time, but if I see it next time If the dog is not on a leash or muzzle, you have to go and explain it to the judge yourself."

Later, during the walk, Dale Carnegie did exactly what the mounted policeman told him to do.But there was only one time when Carnegie didn't muzzle the dog, and happened to meet the mounted policeman again.

When the mounted police stopped him, he suddenly had an idea, instead of being reprimanded by others, he might as well reprimand himself.He said quickly: "Mr. Inspector, you caught me on the spot again this time. I was wrong, I was wrong. This time I have no excuses, no excuses. You warned me last week that if I took the dog out If you don't muzzle it again, you will punish me."

Originally, the police officer was going to reprimand him so that he would realize that he had done something wrong, but before the officer could speak, he himself admitted his mistake. What else could the officer say now?As a result, the police officer said kindly: "Oh, I understand, let such a dog walk here when there is no one around..." "Yes, it is indeed a very pleasant thing, but it is illegal after all." I am not forgiving.

"Oh, such a little dog can't hurt anyone."

"No, no, but it might kill a baby squirrel."

"Okay, okay, I think you're taking it a little too seriously. Let me tell you what to do, let it run over the hill so I can't see it, and then I'll forget about it thing."

It is unbelievable that a dignified mounted policeman can say such "humane" words, but these words are indeed spoken by the mounted policeman.Just imagine, if Dale Carnegie did not preemptively admit his mistakes when encountering the police, but tried to justify his actions, what would happen?

So there is no shame in admitting mistakes.When encountering small things in life, if you bow your head and admit your mistakes, you will be forgiven by others; if there are academic mistakes, you will be respected by the people if you have the courage to admit your mistakes, especially those big figures who publicly admit their mistakes in public.For example, Liu Che, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, who is the son of heaven, once promulgated to the world his own "Guilty Edict", summarizing the mistakes he made in his life, and apologizing to everyone whose life and survival were affected by it.History speaks highly of it, despite his mistakes.

As small as a common man or as large as a country, as long as you make a mistake, you should admit your mistake. This is not only a kind of courage, but also a kind of wisdom in life.A person with a good attitude of admitting his mistakes can get the understanding of the other party and the respect of the people around him, and a country with a good attitude of admitting his mistakes can get the understanding of the injured country and the respect of all countries.In the final analysis, if you lower your head, you won't lose anything, on the contrary, you will change your image in the hearts of everyone.

6. Subtle language is powerful

Implicit language often means that there is something in the words, which means that in a certain context, the speaker deliberately implies the implication in the language, and the emphasis is often not the superficial meaning, but something else.When you are in a situation where it is inconvenient or impossible to speak up, this method can help you express your deeper intentions, which can produce unexpected ironic effects.

Once upon a time there was a rich man, although he was very rich, but he was extremely stingy.One day when we were having dinner, there happened to be a visitor.So he left his guests in the drawing-room, and sneaked in to eat himself.The guest really couldn't bear his hospitality, so he said loudly on purpose: "Ah, what a pity, there are so many beams and pillars in such a hall, but they are damaged by moths!"

The owner ran out in a hurry when he heard it inside, and asked, "Where is the moth? Why can't I see it?"

The guest sized him up and said, "It's eating inside, how can it be seen outside?"

On the surface, these words are referring to moths, but in fact they are alluding to the master. The master knows it well, but it is not easy to get angry.

Mark Twain also used this method very well.His works are often full of witty irony.Mark Twain in real life is also sharp and full of humor.

There was a rich and unkind millionaire who was blind in his left eye.Later, he spent a lot of money on a prosthetic eye.This fake eye is very well done, lifelike, no different from real eyes.

The rich man was very proud, and asked everyone he met: "Which one of my eyes do you think is fake?" As long as people guessed wrong, he would be very happy and very proud.There are also many people who compliment him: "Your Excellency is really rich and lucky, even the fake eyes are no different from the real ones." These flattering words often make him happy.

One day, he met Mark Twain. In order to show off his fake eyes again, he asked the same question again, asking Mark Twain to guess which of his eyes was fake.

Without hesitation, Mark Twain pointed to the rich man's left eye and said, "It's just a fake."

The rich man continued to ask in a very ignorant manner, "How did you find out?"

Mark Twain said: "Because in this eye, I see a trace of compassion."

Obviously, what Mark Twain meant was that there was no mercy in the real eyes of the millionaire.

Although the implicit language does not directly point out the problem, it has profound meaning and is evocative.Subtle language is especially powerful when used in satire.This way of speaking undoubtedly grasps the psychological weakness of the other party. The person who speaks seems to have no intention, but the person who listens must have intentions, because it picks the weakest point of the other party to attack, like being cut with a gentle knife, allowing the other party to have a mouthful. Unspeakable, powerless to fight back.

7. "Lying" also requires wisdom

Many people don't like liars, but sometimes, when faced with some very difficult problems, we have to lie.For example, as the elderly get older, their ability to withstand setbacks decreases accordingly. If something unfortunate happens at home, we will try our best to hide it from them and not tell them the truth.In this case, rather than saying that lying shows dishonesty, it is better to say that lying is showing respect to the elderly.Some lies, in fact, do not bring more serious consequences to the matter itself, but will make the matter better resolved. Therefore, we can say that these lies are well-intentioned and harmless to everyone.There is no such a sentence: a white lie is beautiful.When we tell some small lies in a moderate way for the happiness and hope of others, the lies become understanding, respect and tolerance, which have magical power.

There are also many examples of white lies in everyday life.

There is a student who is not good at long-distance running and is not interested in long-distance running.But in a test, the teacher told him that his long-distance running speed was faster than other students, and also said that he had the opportunity to represent the school in the competition, and told him to work hard. The student was very excited after hearing what the teacher said, because he felt that he could represent the school. It is an honor for the school to participate in the competition.For him, this is both an opportunity and a challenge, and if he can get good grades, he can also make himself the envy of his classmates, so he made up his mind to train hard and insist on running every day.Gradually, he really fell in love with long-distance running. After a period of time, he, who was completely impossible to represent the school in the competition, was actually selected.

This is the power of a white lie.

It can be said that lying out of good intentions cannot be said to be deception, because generally deception is utilitarian.White lies can bring people back to life, ignite the fire of hope in their hearts, and strengthen their beliefs.It can be said that the shadow of this power can be seen everywhere in various industries of social life.A lie from a parent can make an innocent child smile beautifully; a lie from a teacher can stop a perplexed child from hesitating and let them rekindle the candle of hope; The patient escaped from the clutches of death and gained new life.

However, some people think that lying is an act of deceiving people and distorting human nature. It runs counter to the "integrity" we advocate.In fact, in a sense, white lies are not a sign of broken promises.Its purpose is to make others live better, to be considerate of others, and to stop pain and sorrow for oneself or others.White lies can sometimes be the ladder of your progress.Therefore, it is not impossible to have more white lies in life sometimes.

As in life, white lies at work and in other areas can also have unexpected effects.Everyone doesn't want to cause trouble, but sometimes they have to face it.Therefore, in this case, you can use lies to protect your reputation in order to avoid trouble.Each of us has to learn a set of ways to reduce trouble, deal with trouble, and keep ourselves out of trouble, and one of these ways is to tell some white lies at the right time.So, how to tell a white lie?
In fact, a white lie can sometimes be said to be an excuse to justify one's own mistakes.We often encounter similar phenomena in our lives. For example, when you are late for a date, you can say "I got up early, but I didn't expect traffic jams on the road", "The watch is out of power", "Someone asked for help on the road", etc. , Saying this way is easier to be accepted than telling the truth, and it is easier to get the other party's forgiveness.Therefore, if you can know how to be flexible in your dealings with others, then the trouble will disappear by itself.

At work, sometimes it is difficult for us to answer other people's questions. At this time, you need to use your ingenuity to get yourself out.When you don't know how to answer the other person's question, you can tell the other person something that has nothing to do with the question he asked, so that the other person feels that you are answering the wrong question, which will divert the other person's attention.For example, "Before I talk about this, let me talk about...".If the question asked involves your personal privacy, you can directly express your attitude: "This matter is too complicated, let's have a drink first and then talk about it" or "I will talk about this question another day."All of the above can be said to be a kind of white lie, which can save us a lot of unnecessary troubles in our work.

(End of this chapter)