Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 16 Social Psychological Manipulation: Witty Quintes, Let You Do It With Ease (2)
4. Cleverly annotate "surname" and "name". "Self-introduction" is an indispensable part of self-introduction. In order to let the other party hear one's name clearly, it is often necessary to comment on the "surname" and "first name". profound.The annotation to the name can not only reflect a person's knowledge level and character cultivation, but also can reflect a person's eloquence.

A person's name often has rich cultural heritage, or reflects dignified historical facts, or reflects the movement of the times, or places high hopes on parents.Therefore, deriving a name can be impressive and sometimes even emotional.

It needs to be stated that introducing yourself well is just a good start.Talk about interesting, speculative, but also pay attention to the attitude of communication.When some people are talking, they whisper and look away, making people feel absent-minded; Talking about talking, just talking about yourself, the result often breaks up unhappy.

It should be understood that the attitude when talking with others is actually a special kind of "self-introduction". Your words and deeds are telling others what kind of person you are.Avoid arrogance and prejudice when communicating with strangers, and listen calmly, attentively, and politely, especially in the first few minutes.Only in this way can you leave a good first impression on others, make the subsequent conversation smooth and pleasant, and make others like you and remember you from the bottom of their hearts, so that your self-introduction can receive perfect results.

5. The compliment is appropriate and convincing

In interpersonal communication, many people always love to use complimenting words, the so-called "honorary words".It is true that a well-placed compliment, provided it is not excessive, is always flattering.Everyone loves to hear compliments. When you say compliments to people, if you do it properly, they must be very happy and have a good impression of you.Arrogant people love compliments the most, and they love receiving compliments from you.Some people are strict in their righteousness, and declare that they don't like to listen to compliments, on the contrary, they like to accept criticism the most. In fact, this is just their facade.At this time, if you take it seriously and criticize it unceremoniously, he must be very unhappy. Although he may not express anything on the surface, he is already extremely unhappy in his heart. At this time, don’t expect others to increase their favor for you. up.

Almost everyone likes to hear kind words, but compliments are not equal to kind words, only moderate compliments are good words.If you mistakenly regard compliments as kind words, disregarding the object, timing and proportion, do everything possible to find out a lot of compliments, even flattery, in communication, then the rewards you get will often be counterproductive.

Granted, everyone craves the compliments of others.However, we must not forget that what people desire more is to meet each other honestly and treat each other with sincerity, and to interact with humble and honest people.Therefore, we must correctly realize that good words are not equal to compliments, but they are inseparable from compliments.Appropriate compliments become kind words, and kind words can make new friends hit it off right away, and old friendships will last forever.So, how to accurately grasp the compliment and make the compliment just right?This requires attention to the following points.

1. Pay attention to the object of communication.During communication, you should pay attention to the age, culture, occupation, personality, hobbies, characteristics, etc. of the person you are communicating with. When complimenting the other party, you must be careful and cautious.For example, if you say to a woman who is frowning because she is too fat, "You have a really good figure!" The other person will definitely think that you are making fun of her and will be very upset.But if it is a lady with a better figure, if you say this sentence, you can increase the other party's favor and trust in you.In real life, there are still many insightful people who like to make "fearful friends" who "strengthen morality and abide by faults". These people like to be "outspoken". Like you; on the contrary, if you compliment him, he will hate you.When interacting with such people, you must be cautious about using compliments.

2. Pay attention to the timing.The timing of speaking is often very important, and just the right kind words will achieve unexpected results.Compliments, in particular, should be in line with the atmosphere and conditions at the time.Once you find that the other party has something worthy of praise and compliment, you must praise and compliment him boldly in time, and don't miss the opportunity.Untimely compliments are tantamount to going the opposite direction, and the results are often counterproductive, and even produce certain side effects.In addition, you should also pay attention to one point: when your friend finds some kind of deficiency in himself and is about to correct it, but you praise this kind of deficiency of your friend, this will never satisfy your friend. The ancient adage that "friends have the friendship of persuading good and correcting mistakes" is still applicable in modern communication.

3. Don't compliment or praise only one person in front of everyone.Two female friends with the same outstanding appearance appear in front of you at the same time, if you only say "you are so beautiful today" to one of them, then it is very likely to offend the other one. The complimenting party will feel left out and ignored.

4. Pay attention to the scale of compliments.The scale of compliment often directly affects the effect of compliment.Appropriate, untraceable, and moderate compliments can make a person more successful in the social arena.If you use too many flowery rhetoric, excessive compliments, and empty flattery, it will only make the other party feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable, and sometimes even feel embarrassed, numb, and disgusted.

If you say to a person with better handwriting: "Your handwriting is the most beautiful in the world!" The result is very likely to embarrass both parties.But if you say like this: "Your calligraphy is so beautiful!" Your friend will be very happy, and maybe he will describe to you his experience and experience in practicing calligraphy.

Everything must be held to a certain degree, and compliments are no exception. Don't be too nasty. It is enough to express what you mean, and it should not be too exaggerated, otherwise it will make people feel sarcastic.Of course, a flattery is not enough and cannot achieve the intended purpose.Therefore, it is very important to grasp the scale of compliments.

5. Compliments also need to be sincere and leave no trace.A sincere attitude is the key to the success of a communicator.Compliments in communication must be sincere and make people feel that you are sincere and sincere.

Only a sincere and appropriate compliment can arouse people's sympathy, is what people really need in their hearts, and can convince the listener.Compliments are the outstanding performance of a good talker, grasping appropriate and appropriate compliments will make your social interaction successful.

6. Understand the other party's mind and address the other party appropriately
When talking with someone, addressing is essential.Appropriate addressing is a very sensitive issue in social networking.Especially in the first contact, the address often directly affects the effect of communication.Sometimes due to improper address, communication barriers occur between the two parties.Different times, different countries, different regions, and different societies have different appellations among them, but there are also common appellations, such as Mrs., Ms., Ms., Mr., etc.

In many cases, addressing others is often not to satisfy oneself, but to satisfy the other party.In the face of respected elders, it is advisable to address them as "old man" to show respect; for peers, directly address them by name or "Old × (the other party's surname)", which will double the intimacy; If he is a teacher, he is called "Teacher ×", which means respect.

The appellation represents a person's identity and his status in the minds of others, as well as certain opinions, so an appropriate appellation can meet the expected psychological needs of the other party, make the listener show a friendly attitude towards you, and improve their opinion of you. Get closer to each other.

Suppose a person has recently been promoted to Director.If you happen to meet him in the park, you should say hello to him first: "Director X, I didn't expect to meet you here." If he hears you say hello to him, he will be very happy and take a walk with you.

To address others, if you want to achieve good results, you must adhere to such a purpose, that is, to convey the meaning of "you are very important", "you are very good", and "I value you very much".

Pay special attention to the primary and secondary relationship and age characteristics when using titles.If there are many people in front of you, it is advisable to follow the order of seniors first and then young, first up and then down, first estrangement and then kissing.

Of course, if you want to show respect for the other party, you can't exaggerate. Excessive titles will make people feel that you are not sincere enough, and the credibility of what you say later will naturally be scrutinized.

Finally, addressing should be carried out according to social habits. For example, addressing is generally divided into job titles, full name titles, occupational titles, common titles, pronoun titles, and age titles.

The address is not the main content of the conversation, nor is it the key content, but its role in communication cannot be ignored.The title represents your definition of the other party, the status and respect of the other party in your mind, and whether the other party is valued.Therefore, if you want to have an outstanding performance in the social field, you must understand the other party's mind and address the other party appropriately.

7. Use hints skillfully to get out of trouble

In daily conversations, such a situation often occurs: you have something to do but a friend suddenly visits or cannot leave for a long time. At this time, you will be in an embarrassing situation.If you don't say anything, you will delay your own affairs, and if you say it directly, it will hurt other people's self-esteem and mutual feelings.At this time, the best way is to use hints to make the other party realize his impoliteness and leave voluntarily.

Once, a guest came to Xiao Min's house, and they sat in the living room chatting for a long time without any intention of leaving.

Xiao Min still has other things to do, and repeatedly hinted at the guest, but the guest was "obstinate".In desperation, Xiao Min came up with a plan and said to him: "The chrysanthemums in my house are in full bloom, shall we go and have a look in the garden?"

The guest was delighted, so Xiao Min accompanied him to the garden to watch the chrysanthemums.

After reading it, Xiao Min took the opportunity to say, "Would you like to go back and sit?"

At this time, the guest looked at the sky, suddenly realized, and said quickly: "No, no, I should go home, otherwise I will miss the last train."

One more example.

After dinner, several young people went to visit a certain professor.Talking about the meaning of not leaving late at night, the professor felt tired, so he continued the topic of one of the young people and said: "The question you raised is very valuable for research. I will go to Shanghai to attend an academic meeting tomorrow, and I am going to discuss this question." Find some experts to discuss with you.”

(End of this chapter)