Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 18 Psychological Manipulation in the Workplace: Workplace Language That Makes Work Unfavorable (1)
As an indispensable element of life, work is something we face almost every day.Relationships with co-workers and supervisors are one of the most overlapping aspects of human relationships.Therefore, how to make yourself outstanding in the workplace requires mastering the rules of advancement and retreat in the workplace.And this so-called rule of advance and retreat is simply the human heart.Psychological manipulation can allow you to easily see through people's hearts, and resolve a series of problems encountered in the workplace through appropriate language, so that you can go smoother and more successful in your career.

1. Easy to interview, clever to make things difficult

Work is an indispensable part of a person's life, and it is also the only way for almost every young person entering society to start a career.If you want to make a difference in the workplace, you must learn to grasp the rules of advancement and retreat in the workplace, and the grasp of such rules is no different from a psychological warfare, and language is the pioneer in this war.Therefore, mastering workplace psychological manipulation must start with mastering workplace language, and workplace language begins with your interview. If you want to be successful in the workplace, you must first start with using language when you enter the workplace!
The first job most people enter the workplace is actually "job hunting". To find a good position, in addition to the hard conditions such as your education background and ability, your language expression is a prerequisite for whether you can enter the workplace.Interview is a key link in the job hunting process. Being able to enter the interview usually means that your basic conditions have met the requirements of the employer. The interview is to further confirm whether you are qualified for the job through face-to-face communication.During the interview process, conversation is the most important content, and there may be difficulties during the interview process. All of these require you to master the content of the conversation flexibly. Only by adapting to the situation can you easily deal with it.

The great mining engineer Harmon once encountered difficulties from the interviewers in his job hunting.After graduating from Yale University, Harmon studied in Freiburg, Germany for three years.After graduating, Harmon returned to the United States to look for a job. When he interviewed with Harstor, a mining owner in the western United States, he encountered difficulties from Harstor, who emphasized experience and neglected theory.

When Hastor read Harmon's resume, he said to him bluntly: "I'm not going to hire you! I don't want to hire you because you did three years of research in Freiburg. I don't need a brain full of people. It's all those fools' theories!"

Harmon immediately understood Hastor's psychology, and immediately changed his strategy, pretending to be timid: "If you can promise not to tell my father, I can tell you the truth!"

Harmon's words aroused Hastor's curiosity, and he promised to help him keep the secret.So Harmon said: "Actually, I didn't learn anything in Freiburg. At that time, I wanted to earn more money and gain more experience, so I just focused on field work all day long, and I didn't have time to do it at all. What research. You must never let my father know about this!"

Hastor laughed loudly after hearing this: "Don't worry, he won't know! But, you come to work tomorrow, we need someone with experience like you!"

Harmon turned making things difficult into an opportunity for a successful interview. Of course, this is inseparable from his astuteness, but it is undeniable that his conversation skills and psychological strategies also contributed.If it weren't for Harmon's "small concessions" in terms of tone and words when faced with difficulties, I am afraid that things would not have progressed so smoothly.

The conversation during the job hunting process is to show your qualifications and abilities, but in this process, you must master certain skills. Keeping silent and boasting will not leave a good impression on the other party.In this process, in addition to showing proper honesty and humility, it is essential to use certain language skills and master the necessary conversation materials.It is very necessary to prepare some conversation materials that can arouse the interest of the other party and show your knowledge of the industry before the interview. It can help you deal with various professional questions from the interviewer more easily, and can also show your professionalism and professionalism. Professionalism.

In addition, it is very necessary to maintain a relaxed state of mind during the interview. Only in a relaxed state can people make their thinking clearer and sharper.The interview is indeed very important, but being important does not mean that it must be serious and depressing. A relaxed conversation and quick answers can add points to your impression.

Of course, being relaxed does not mean putting on a comfortable and casual attitude, as that will appear disrespectful to the other party.The content of the conversation during the interview should focus on the interview itself as much as possible, and it is better to talk less about topics such as office furnishings and the other party's dress.During the interview, you should be humble but not flattering, concise but unambiguous, vivid but not exaggerated, and use your language to impress the interviewer's heart, which is also the golden key to open the first door of your career.

2. Harmonize the relationship between colleagues with language
The relationship between colleagues can be said to be one of the most delicate relationships in human relationships. It is not like friends who talk about everything, but because they get along day and night, they also understand each other very well.Sometimes they may compete secretly because of the relationship of interests, and sometimes they cooperate with each other because of the needs of work.If such a relationship is not handled properly, it will hurt the peace at the least, and will be calculated at the worst.Therefore, you must learn to grasp the psychology of the other party, use multiple language skills, and create a harmonious relationship with colleagues, so as to create a good working environment for yourself.

The office is an extremely complex and sensitive environment. Facing the colleagues we meet every day, how should we handle our words and deeds so that we can live in harmony with our colleagues?

1. Treat colleagues as sincerely as you treat friends.When your colleagues ask you questions sincerely, you should also answer them sincerely, not half-heartedly.When encountering a question that you can't answer, you should honestly say that you don't know clearly, and don't speak nonsense.As Confucius said: "Knowing what you know is knowing, not knowing what you don't know is knowing."

2. Master the skills of rejecting colleagues.When a colleague invites you, and you really can't attend the appointment, you must tactfully refuse.Don't think it's impolite to refuse the other party, so you bite the bullet, and the result will often break up.

3. Be good at discovering the strengths of others.As your colleagues, they will have a lot to learn from them, and you must not begrudge your praise at this time.Because everyone is eager to attract attention and hope that others will know their own advantages. Therefore, when your colleagues have outstanding performance, you should sincerely praise them, which will make the other party think that you are his confidant and bring you closer. distance between.

4. When dealing with colleagues, you must "say what you say, and it's hard to follow". "If you don't have trust, you can't stand." If you lose trust with your colleagues, then your future work will not be smooth.Once you make a commitment to your colleagues, be sure to do your best to keep it.Only in this way can you win the trust of your colleagues and you can feel at ease.

5. Put a big smile on your face.If you are depressed all day in the office, drooping your head, as if everyone owes you hundreds of dollars, then naturally your colleagues will not dare to talk to you, your relationship with your colleagues will become rigid, and your life will be less interesting. It will decrease accordingly, because if you reject people thousands of miles away, it is tantamount to drawing the ground as a prison.

6. Respect the private life of colleagues.Don’t gossip among colleagues, because many things are incomprehensible to outsiders. If false information is spread, it will cause serious consequences. Therefore, we must respect the privacy of colleagues and care about colleagues.

7. Get along well with colleagues and cooperate happily.Properly control your emotions, and don't quarrel with your colleagues because of a moment of anger.Colleagues are your partners. Don't harm the self-esteem and interests of the other party just for the sake of quick success, otherwise it will be difficult to gain their friendship and cooperation in the future.When talking with colleagues, you should make them think that you are their most sincere partner.When you want others to cooperate with you automatically and enthusiastically, you should first stand in the position of the other party and imagine how the other party can cooperate with you.If you can design the interests of the other party as part of the plan and explain to the other party the consistency of your interests, the other party will be willing to cooperate with you.If you want to get the assistance of your colleagues, sometimes you even need to "bow your knees", because pride and indifference cannot win the friendship of colleagues.It is also very important to reflect on your own behavior more often.Don't get angry, complain, or sneer at others, or care about others, otherwise people will look intimidated at you and will naturally avoid you deliberately, so that it will be difficult for you to cooperate with your colleagues.

8. Respect the opinions of leaders and colleagues.When getting along with colleagues, it is inevitable that there will be disagreements. If the other party criticizes your mistakes, you should accept it readily and ask the other party to explain clearly.Being blamed by others will inevitably make three mistakes, so when others correct your mistakes, you must accept it with humility.In the case of disagreement with each other, they should communicate calmly to achieve the purpose of seeking common ground while reserving differences, and then reach an agreement under the condition that the general principles remain unchanged.Sometimes, in order to protect their own interests and status, colleagues often build up a psychological barrier. At this time, we should express our kindness and frankness in words and deeds, and always consider the position of the other party. Serious or too formal, try to fit in with colleagues, don't emphasize your superiority or put on a superior stance.

When you feel dissatisfied with a colleague or boss, try to avoid mentioning it in front of others.If the other party complains, you might as well act as a "deaf-mute" temporarily, and it is best not to refute or criticize in person.This can not only maintain a good relationship with the other party, but also reduce unnecessary misunderstandings.When you put forward your own opinions, others will naturally judge whether the opinions are feasible. If you don’t accept their reminders and criticize other people’s opinions, you can only set up obstacles on your own path.Because you ignore other people's faults, people don't think you have the intention of revenge.Don't try to steal the limelight every time you talk to people.In this way, others will naturally think that you are the most loyal and reliable friend, and they will cooperate with you without any hesitation.

Shakespeare once said: "If you listen to others with kindness, then you will be five times wiser." If you want to improve the interpersonal relationship with your colleagues, you must recognize the strengths of the other party, and often show He is very important to the company and to himself. If he makes the other party feel valued, the other party will value you, be willing to cooperate with you, and even help you at critical times.

3. Avoid sensitive topics in the office
In the workplace, we should pay more attention to it, especially when we speak carefully. Some words are not suitable for talking in the office, because you may cause some unnecessary troubles because of a wrong sentence. .The following aspects should be avoided in the workplace.

1. Salary issues.Today, "different pay for equal work" has become a reward and punishment method used by bosses.It is like a double-edged sword. If it is not well grasped, it is easy to cause conflicts among employees, and its guns will eventually turn around and point directly at the boss. Of course, this is not what the bosses want to see. of.Most companies don't like employees asking about each other's salary status. Even if they are colleagues, the salary is usually very different. Therefore, the boss usually has a single-line contact with an employee when paying the salary. , not to disclose the salary amount, and asked not to tell others.He is always on guard against those who like to inquire about salary.

So I advise you not to become such a person. If you meet this kind of colleague, the best way is to prepare for him in advance.Once his topic turns to the salary issue, you must immediately interrupt him and tell him that the company has regulations that do not allow talking about salary.If he talks too fast and you finish before he can interrupt, you can use diplomatic language to deal with it coldly: "Sorry! I don't want to discuss this issue." In this way, there will be no next time.

2. Ambitious words.Those who can do great things are often not big talkers.First of all, if you have nothing to do in the company and say "I want to be the boss, I want to run the industry" all day long, then your boss will easily regard you as his enemy, and your colleagues will regard you as a dissident.If you say "I can at least be a supervisor in this company" or "I will definitely be a department manager when I am 40 years old", in this way, you put yourself on the opposite side of your colleagues.And it's ridiculous to talk about your life ideals in the office.If you want to work part-time, you should be a part-time worker with peace of mind. It would be more appropriate to talk about your ambitions with your family and friends after you get home.Second, by being public about your aggressiveness, you are tantamount to an open challenge to other colleagues in the company.Being a human requires a low profile, which is also a good way to protect yourself.The value of a person is reflected in how much he has done, and he must perform when he should. On the contrary, he should hide his strength and bide his time when he should not be outstanding.

3. Personal relationship issues.Sit quietly and think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others.This sentence must be kept in mind.The workplace is already an unpredictable and complicated scene. Regarding personal emotional problems, it is best not to let people in the workplace know easily. This is a very wise approach and is a very effective self-protection under the pressure of competition. measure.

If you don't open your mouth to pry into other people's private affairs first, others will not easily pry into your secrets.Never talk about personal issues, and don't gossip about right and wrong in the company.You think it’s okay to talk about others, but it won’t be long before you “burn” it on your own head. At that time, if you want to “escape” again, you will be very passive.

4. Family property issues.Frankness also needs to distinguish between people and things. Frankness without principles is inappropriate.What should be said and what should not be said, you must have a score in your heart.Even if you bought a new villa or traveled to Europe on vacation, there is no need to show off in the office.Not all circles of happiness and sharing are bigger and better.It's not a good feeling to be jealous of others, and it's easy to invite people to plot.Whether it's revealing the rich or crying poor, it looks very artificial in the special environment of the office.Rather than annoying people, it is better to be more interesting, and never say what should not be said.

If you want to survive in the workplace, you must control your mouth.The so-called "the speaker has no intention, the listener has the heart", in order to reduce unnecessary incidents, it is better to talk less about topics that should not be discussed.This is not only the main point of psychological manipulation in the workplace, but also the rule of doing things.

4. The language is witty and wins popularity

The wise men of ancient Greece regarded humor as the most brilliant way of expression, and believed that humor can express profound philosophy of life in a way that makes people happy, and it is the highest level of human wisdom.However, such precious wealth seems to be forgotten by people now. Under the huge pressure of society, office workers are always on alert, and the intricate interpersonal relationship makes them tremble even more.And nervousness does not mean that you can achieve something, and a frosty face is even more harmful than beneficial to improving interpersonal relationships.But if you can make full use of your wisdom and add a few touches of humor to the monotonous life, it can help you win people's hearts and improve interpersonal relationships.

Appropriate use of humor can eliminate embarrassment in interpersonal communication while talking and laughing.But humor is not about being able to make jokes about others at will. Jokes can be divided into good and evil. Humor refers to well-meaning jokes, not sarcasm or satire.Some people like to belittle others with their cleverness, and feel that they are quite humorous, but they are not.There are also some people who have no malicious intentions, but they can't control the fire when talking and laughing, and accidentally hurt others. This is not humorous.True humor is good intentions, not avoiding problems, but also having a sense of proportion. Everyone has a different psychological capacity and a different degree of acceptance of criticism. Only those who can grasp the rules of the game and have a good sense of proportion are masters of humor.

(End of this chapter)