Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 19 Psychological Manipulation in the Workplace: Workplace Language That Makes Work Unfavorable (2)
As a professional woman, it is inevitable that you will encounter some unpleasantness in the office, or mean jokes, or malicious attacks. You'll win, but the price you pay for it won't feel worth it.

For these types of workplace conflicts, humor is your best bulletproof vest.Just like the meaningful ellipsis, humor does not impose a fixed answer of yes or no on people, but only leaves room for people to think, so that others can distinguish right from wrong in laughter.Only a master of humor can win without fighting.

In the workplace, being a person is often more important than doing things. Smart people do not regard the workplace as a "battlefield" for fighting, but as a "showground".The workplace is like a show, it is not only a place to work, but also a stage for entertainment.And those who are good at using humor to create "laughing gas" in the workplace can win super high "popularity" for themselves.Because, they can not only serve as lubricating oil among colleagues, but also make their work more smoothly completed. Even if they cannot increase friends, at least they will not make enemies.

In the workplace, you need to deal with all kinds of people and face various emergencies. Sometimes you must take defensive measures to protect yourself. When you encounter someone who is offensive, you can use humor to subtly It blocks back.

Funny language will make the surrounding atmosphere more relaxed, can relieve the tension in the office, and can also overcome communication barriers between people, reduce work load, and relieve mental stress.Just imagine, how could such a person with humorous language, which is beneficial to mobilize colleagues' emotions without any harm, not be welcomed and loved by everyone?Therefore, try to improve your literacy and be a humorous person.This will not only create a happy and harmonious atmosphere in the tense and depressed office, but also make your image of high emotional intelligence deeply rooted in the hearts of the people and win the favor of colleagues.

5. Communicate well with the boss

The most stressful and intimidating relationship in the workplace is with your boss.When dealing with our superiors, we should maintain our own independent personality while showing respect.While paying attention to the opinions of the superiors, they can also express different views when appropriate and necessary.As long as you are courteous and sincere when expressing your opinions, you will be able to get the attention of your boss.And that's far better than flattery.

Talking to our boss is a regular occurrence in our daily work.When you are discussing work with your boss, you must remember that this is a good opportunity to communicate with your boss.At this time, you may be a little nervous, but no matter how nervous you are, you must be neither humble nor overbearing, and be generous.The boss is not a jackal. Although he needs your respect, he doesn't want others to keep him at arm's length. He also hopes that his image in the minds of employees is kind and natural.Therefore, talking to your boss should be more like talking to ordinary people, with a natural expression, a gentle attitude, and appropriate language, to give full play to your intelligence and wisdom, and to show your unique insights.

Talking with the boss is mostly for reporting work, and face-to-face oral reporting is one of the most important ways.The success of the report depends not only on whether the timing of the choice is appropriate, but more importantly on your language skills.When making an oral report to the superior, if the superior’s intention is unclear, the key points cannot be grasped, the summary cannot be summarized, the expression is not good, the results are not prominent enough, and the problem analysis is not thorough enough, the superior may not hear the problem. The key point is that it is impossible to clearly express your position. The result is often that you will not get affirmation of your achievements, you will not get help when you have difficulties, and you will not even get a satisfactory answer to the questions you asked for instructions. It's because you didn't make it clear to your boss.

In addition, when talking with your boss, you should also pay attention to the time and style of speaking.Most people don't like to hear long-winded and unintelligible language, and neither does your boss.Therefore, first of all, we must learn to speak short words; second, we must be concise and to the point; finally, we must clearly raise the existing problems.Only by mastering the above three points can we report to the boss accurately and comprehensively.

If you are very unfortunate to meet a very subjective superior who always imposes a lot of work on you, is there nothing you can do as a subordinate at this time?This is not the case, you can reason with him, the following two methods are for reference.

1. Try to speak tactfully.This method works well when your boss imposes tasks on you.Suppose a superior called his subordinates over and said, "Please finish these today, okay?" The subordinates looked at the official documents piled up like a hill, shook their heads and said, "There are so many, I can't finish them in one day!" Such an answer is obviously not good.Because the boss may say: "What are you talking about? You can't do this little thing! Let me show you?" If the matter develops to this point, it will be difficult for both parties to end.

As a subordinate, changing the answer to "Okay, I will try my best" will make a big difference in the situation.Because you just "try your best" and can't "guarantee", in fact, you haven't done it, so you can't give an affirmative answer. You can try to finish it as soon as possible, but if you still haven't finished it by the time you get off work, you can do this Say "I haven't finished it yet", and even if the boss sees it at this time, he will not take it seriously, because you have maintained his self-esteem, and you may get two kinds of answers: "It's too much, then you can do it tomorrow." Let's go." "I'll ask Xiao Li to come and help you." In this way, things will naturally be easier to handle, and conflicts between superiors and subordinates can be effectively avoided.Of course, this should also be the case among colleagues. Don't speak too directly, that will only make people unacceptable.

2. Avoid too much explanation.This approach is often used in situations where the rationale cannot be succinctly stated.For example, if you are going to work in a new unit today, you need to introduce yourself to the new colleagues around you, you can say: "I am XX who is new to work today, and I work as a cashier in the accounting office. "That's a very appropriate expression.However, if you say: "I graduated from the accounting department of a certain university, and I used to be the director of the accounting department in a certain unit..." This sounds a bit too much.In all good communication and entertainment, arrogance, argument and excessive explanation should be avoided.

Another example, you were late for work this morning. When you explained the reason for being late to your boss, you said: "There was a car accident on Zhongshan North Road in the morning, and the traffic was jammed, so I had to get off to find a taxi, but the taxi was blocked again." Others stopped the car first, and it took a long time to find another car."

Traffic jams and not being able to get a taxi are all reasons, but being late is the final result. Your superiors don't have the patience to listen to you explaining these.Here are two answers, which one do you think is better?

"The bus I took today broke down halfway, so I'm late, I'm very sorry."

"I'm very sorry for being late today because the bus broke down halfway."

The above two explanations, although the cause and effect are reversed, sound comfortable.

In most cases, it will make a big difference which one comes first, the cause or the effect.And use "being late" as the touchstone of your social skills, the answer is self-evident.

6. Use language to resolve the crisis with the boss
If you think you have offended your boss, you should first judge whether the boss really dislikes you, and don't be too sensitive.But if your boss suddenly no longer assigns you a lot of work, especially challenging tasks, or no longer invites you to participate in meetings commensurate with your position, then you should pay attention to improving the relationship with your boss.

For these kinds of questions, you can just ask him or her directly: "I don't understand what's going on, could you explain it?" Then just listen.After your boss has finished speaking, you can say, "Now that I'm more aware of the situation, I think we can do something to resolve this." The key is to focus on what can be done to improve the relationship, not at this time. Blame others, and don't bring up any topics related to the cause of the crisis.You want to let your boss know that you want to get things done and that you can do a great job on the next task.If the gap is not too deep, you can also use another strategy, such as actively asking to work in a place other than the office for a period of time to distance yourself from your superiors.This may help reconcile a temporarily estranged relationship between you, and improve a relationship that has gradually deteriorated.

And no matter who is right or who is wrong, no matter from which point of view it is not a good thing to offend your boss. If you don’t want to leave or resign, don’t fall into a stalemate. The following suggestions can help you leave room for maneuver.

1. Find a suitable opportunity to communicate.It is necessary to eliminate the gap between you and your boss, but it is best to extend the "olive branch" yourself.If you make a mistake, you should have the courage to admit it, explain it clearly to your boss, express your determination to learn from it, and hope to continue to receive the care and attention of your boss.If the reason lies with your boss, you can communicate and communicate with the other party in a tactful way at a more relaxed and appropriate time. You can also say that it is because of your impulsiveness or lack of thoughtfulness, and hope that your boss can forgive you. It is not only conducive to communicating with each other, but also provides a very decent step for the other party, thus helping to restore the harmonious relationship between you and your boss.

2. Use some relaxed occasions to show respect for him.Even very cheerful bosses will pay special attention to maintaining their dignity. They hope to be respected by their subordinates. Therefore, when you have conflicts with your boss, you can show them to them in some relaxed occasions, such as dinners and social activities. Say hello and toast your boss to show your respect to him. The boss will naturally keep these in mind, so as to gradually weaken or eliminate the hostility towards you.In this way, you can also show your self-cultivation and tolerance to everyone.Of course, for those bosses who are not competent at all, it doesn't matter whether they are offended or not, and they must fight back when necessary.

3. Make a deep review and express your determination after doing something wrong.If you do do something wrong, don't be ashamed to see your boss or fear being reprimanded again.A smart boss will never get angry twice because of the same problem.However, it is very necessary for subordinates to conduct a deep self-reflection and express their determination after the event. This can mean that you did not despise the words of your boss. You have undergone self-reflection and hope to have the opportunity to correct this mistake.At this time, the boss will definitely say: "My attitude was actually not good about what happened yesterday..."

In this way, he will not demand you so harshly, maybe he will want to compensate you because of his "bad attitude", and he may be more tolerant and generous to you than usual.

4. Immediately apologize when being criticized by your boss.Some people are used to justifying when they are criticized. In fact, it is useless to do so. No matter what the reason is, it is a fact that you made a mistake.At this time, justifying is not only useless, on the contrary, it may hurt the self-esteem of the boss, causing the relationship between you and the boss to deteriorate.Even if you really have a very good reason, please don't justify yourself at this time, all you need to do is bow your head and say "sorry".Only in this way will the boss feel that his criticism has meaning, and your humility and sincerity will impress him very deeply, thus increasing his goodwill towards you.

5. Make the problem clear.Once, Tom mentioned that his boss was a "robot" while talking with his colleagues, but he didn't expect to be heard by his boss later.So Tom seized the opportunity to explain to his boss and apologize to him. "I'm really sorry, I really regret it now. But I had absolutely no other intentions in using that word," Tom explained to his boss. "I used the word 'robot' just as a joke, it was just me. I feel that you are a little alienated and numb to us, so the word 'robot' is just a very simple way to express my feeling." After listening to Tom's reasonable explanation and self-criticism, the boss was deeply moved. He stated on the spot that he would work hard to learn to be more understanding and to be a reasonable boss in the future.

6. Apologize briefly and explain later.You are late, and the boss scolds you in dissatisfaction: "Why are you late?" At this time, you only need to say: "I'm sorry." Don't rush to explain this matter.About half an hour later, when the boss's mood stabilized, he frankly begged the boss to forgive himself: "Being late is because I am on the road..." The boss will definitely have another reaction, and he will say: "Don't do this next time." .”

All in all, it is very important to have a good relationship with your boss at work.If your relationship with your boss becomes very awkward due to a temporary mistake, you must find time to communicate with your boss as soon as possible to ease the deadlock as soon as possible.In communication, it is natural to learn to observe words and expressions, and to decide one's own language according to the mood of the boss. Different people, different jobs, different occasions, and different places need to use different psychological strategies and use different languages ​​to resolve them.

7. Use ingenious language, and the boss can also be rejected

As a qualified employee or subordinate, under normal circumstances, we should be duty-bound and conscientious to complete the tasks assigned by our superiors.However, sometimes there will be some special circumstances that make it impossible for us to follow the instructions of our superiors.Maybe you're not confident or interested in the task, or maybe you have other plans for your time and work.

For example, autumn is crisp, and you want to use this golden time to clean up; after work, you are writing a paper day and night.At this moment, your boss asks you to go on a business trip and accept another job assignment. Should you refuse, or reluctantly agree because of the sympathy?

Obviously, reluctantly agreeing is perfunctory. Even if the task is finally completed, it may not necessarily satisfy the boss, colleagues and myself.In this case, rejection is your best option.But how do you say no without embarrassing yourself or losing your boss's trust?
First of all, put yourself in the shoes and show that you attach great importance to this work and hope to accept it; then you can express your regret, and specifically why you cannot accept it.You can say: "I have a very urgent matter that must be rushed out in these two days." Sufficient reasons and a sincere attitude will definitely get the understanding of the boss.

But you can't just say no.Even if you have very good reasons for refusing, your boss may insist that you must.At this time, you can't keep rejecting it.If you insist on refusing, the boss may think that you are resigning, and thus doubt your work enthusiasm and ability, and even distrust you. In the future work process, he will deliberately let you miss the opportunity.So, how to do is the best of both worlds?

(End of this chapter)