Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 20 Psychological Manipulation in the Workplace: Workplace Language That Makes Work Unfavorable (3)
Come up with a reasonable solution.Faced with the things your boss explained, you can't accept and refuse. At this time, you have to think about it carefully, and you must not leave in a huff.You might as well try to figure out the boss's psychology to see if he must be you.Even if you have to, you can talk it over with your boss without hurting feelings by saying, "If that's the case, give me a day to finish what I'm doing and get started. Okay?" Or, you can also recommend a person whose strength is almost the same as yours to your boss, and at the same time explain that you will definitely give him advice.In this way, the boss will definitely understand and trust you, and may pave a smooth path for your future work and even life, because just like you, he is also an ordinary, flesh-and-blood person with rich emotions.

At work, you can't blindly promise or perfunctory the tasks assigned by your boss.You can refuse tasks that you don't want to accept, but if you want to refuse beautifully, you need your language talent.Of course, in the usual work, it is also very important to find out the temper of the boss.Listening to what he says, knowing what he thinks, coupled with skillful use of language skills, can easily resolve difficult problems.It is necessary to refuse, but also to make the rejected person feel comfortable. This is the wonderful use of language psychological strategies.

8. Belittle yourself and praise others

Wilhelm II was the last emperor of Germany, and Prince Blow was the chancellor of Germany at that time.Wilhelm II was a very proud and very pompous emperor who built an army and navy and boasted of conquering the whole world.The wild words and unbelievable words said by the German emperor shocked the whole European continent and caused a series of disturbances all over the world.

Worst of all, the Kaiser of Germany went so far as to publish these arrogant, absurd and stupid remarks, which he had made when he was a guest in England, and allowed the London Daily Telegraph to publish what he had said .He said, for example, that he was the only German on good terms with Britain.He also claimed that he wanted to build a navy to counter the threat from Japan; he said that he alone saved the whole of Britain and let the British out of the control of Soviet Russia and France; The Jazz were able to beat the Boers and others in South Africa.

In the past 100 years of peace, no monarch in Europe has ever spoken such astonishingly big words.All of Europe was outraged, especially Britain, which alarmed German politicians.

In this embarrassing situation, the German emperor himself finally felt panicked. At this time, he hoped that Prince Blow, who was the Chancellor of the Empire, could bear all the blame, and wanted Prince Blow to announce that these were all his. It is his fault that he advised the monarch to speak these extremely arrogant words.

"But, sire," said Prince Blow, "it is impossible. No one in Germany or England will believe that it was my advice to your majesty that led you to say this."

Before the words fell, Blow knew that he had caused a catastrophe. Sure enough, the emperor was very angry: "You think I am a stupid person," he cried, "I only do things that even you can't do wrong. !"

Prince Blow understood that he should say a few compliments first, and then start to criticize.But now that it has happened, he has to use the next best method, which is to praise after criticizing.

"That's not what I mean," he replied respectfully. "Your Majesty outdoes me in many ways, chief among them in the natural sciences. Whenever Your Majesty explains the barometer or the wireless telegraph or the roentgen rays At that time, I listened very carefully, I was very impressed, and felt very ashamed. I was ignorant of every subject of natural science, and I had no concept of physics or chemistry, and I couldn't even explain the simplest natural phenomena. " Prince Blow continued, "However, in order to make up for these deficiencies, I have learned a lot of historical knowledge and some knowledge that is beneficial to politics, especially diplomacy." A smile appeared on the emperor's face immediately.

"Didn't I always tell you," said William II enthusiastically, "as long as we complement each other, we can be famous all over the world? We have to be united, and we should be like this!"

He shook hands with Prince Blow cordially, and clenched his fist very excitedly, saying: "If anyone speaks ill of Prince Blow in front of me, I will punch him on the nose."

A few words of disparagement in favor of the other turned an arrogant and withdrawn German Kaiser into a loyal friend.

In the workplace, if the person you are talking to has a higher status than you, if you use inappropriate language, you are likely to annoy the other person. Being criticized is considered light, and you may even lose your job because of it.Just like what Prince Blow said at the beginning, it can only annoy the arrogant and withdrawn emperor, and he will think that Prince Blow looks down on him at all.Fortunately, the clever Prince Buluo immediately realized his mistake, so he hurriedly spoke out to save him, praised the emperor's strengths in natural science in a very admirable tone, and sincerely admitted that he was indeed inferior to him.The tone is gentle and moderate, which can not only compliment the other party, cover up the negligence of the first sentence, but also show your humble attitude.In the end, the tense atmosphere was eased, and the two sides changed from a state of hostility to close friends.

Therefore, sometimes belittling yourself and praising the other person can get very special results.In the workplace, we may accidentally say the wrong thing, whether it is to the boss or colleagues, this is a big headache, because if the remedy is not timely or not good, it will damage the relationship between colleagues , It may also plant hidden dangers for your career.At this time, if we can belittle ourselves and praise each other as cleverly as Prince Blow did, we can also turn things around and get very surprising results.

9. Tips for making requests to your boss

In the workplace, due to various subjective or objective reasons, there are often some requests for promotion, salary increase, and department change that need to be told to your supervisor or boss.Although most of these requests are reasonable and legitimate, as a subordinate or employee, psychologically, they will feel a little bit hard to say.What's more, if the expression is improper, it is likely to leave a bad impression on the boss and affect future work.Therefore, when you think that your request has to be expressed to your boss, you need to seize the opportunity to present it skillfully.

When you want to make some requests to your boss, you should first consider whether your request can be agreed by your boss, and at the same time, it is best to do the following.

1. You must weigh the pros and cons before making a request to your boss.Think about it from the boss's point of view, if you were the boss, would you be able to accept such a request.If you can't even accept it yourself, it's best not to raise it, otherwise you will not only fail to achieve your goal, but also leave a bad impression on your boss.

2. Choose the right time to ask your boss.It is best to make a request when the boss is in a happy mood and relatively free, because when the boss is in a good mood, the possibility of accepting your request will be relatively higher.

3. Be sure to be sure.If you plan to change jobs in another department, you must do better in the new job than in the original job. Otherwise, you will not only put yourself in a very unfavorable situation, but also make your boss feel particularly useless. face.

4. Dare to ask the boss and fight for your own interests.Unless your work is particularly good, generally speaking, the boss will not take the initiative to reward you.Sometimes you still have to rely on yourself to fight for your own interests.When it comes to your own interests, you must have the courage to fight for it and ask your boss.

5. Master the speaking skills.Everyone's expression is different, but the key is how to express yourself skillfully.The most effective tip is to let the other person ask for it before you ask for it.

The world-renowned speaker Jack Cafield once narrated such an example.

A female student named Sophia Collins, after listening to a lecture by Jack Cafield on "how to make others accept your request happily", went back and quit her job without a future and joined a real estate company. Grass-roots sales started.The colleagues in her sales team are basically men, and they are responsible for selling the company's newly built villa complex.

At that time, the company had one team-building day every month. Since there were mostly men, the activities on the team-building day were mostly golfing and going to bars, which were rather boring things for a woman.So when the manager asked everyone for the content of this month's team building activities at a company staff meeting, Sophia Collins put forward her own request: "I want to ask, what is the sales volume of our group before you can take us to Seaside for team building?"

At that time, all the employees were stunned, because they had never made such a request before.Apparently the manager had never encountered such a problem, he first looked at Sophia Collins and everyone in surprise, then thought for a while and said: "If you can sell 30 villas before the end of the month, I will take everyone to Sea diving."

This answer made the whole team very excited. In the next month, everyone was full of energy and accomplished the goal set by the manager very easily.The manager was very happy when he found out, and gave each person in the group a four-day activity package for seaside vacation, which included air tickets, board and lodging, and various activity fees.The group had a great four days by the sea and they attribute it to Sofia, much to her delight.

At the next meeting, Sophia asked the manager to put forward new goals, and suggested that everyone travel abroad after completing the manager's request.Everyone started a new round of fighting, and successfully completed the task, and the whole group got a two-week tour abroad.

Later, Sophia Collins was praised by the company because of her excellent performance at work and good at making demands, and was soon promoted to manager.

She wrote to Jack Cafield to thank him for teaching her the secret of asking her boss: If you want the other party to meet your requirements, the best way is not to ask the other party first, but to find a way to make the other party ask first you.

Sophia uses this method to let the manager first put forward requirements and goals for herself and the team members, and then achieve the goals she requires.

It can be seen that it is not impossible to make a request, and there is no need to be embarrassed to make a request. As long as you can master the methods and skills of making a request, you will not only be able to get what you want, but also may make people look at you with admiration.

10. Only by mastering the psychology of the boss can the opposition be established

Everyone has their own ideas, just as there are no two identical leaves in the world, and no two people in the world have exactly the same ideas.And in many cases, people's ideas will always conflict.But at this time, once the objection is unlawful, and you bite the bullet and say "no", it is likely to arouse the other party's dissatisfaction, and even hold a grudge against you. From then on, you will develop hatred towards you and oppose you everywhere.No one wants to see such a situation.How to avoid these unnecessary troubles?In fact, there is a secret to objecting. If you object successfully, you will convince the other party, at least they will not hold grudges against you.

This is true between people, and even more so between subordinates and superiors.Raising objections to your boss and trying to make him accept it happily is indeed a headache in the workplace. Not only is your boss likely not to accept your objections, but it will also cause conflicts and make each other feel bad .

In fact, as a qualified boss, most of the time, he is willing to accept the opinions of his subordinates, and the voice of opposition can reflect the enthusiasm and sense of responsibility of the subordinate or employee.It's just that the degree of acceptance of opinions depends on your objection skills. The following principles can make your objections readily accepted by your boss:

First, the principle of assimilation.In daily work and life, I often communicate with my boss, and try my best to understand the boss's preferences and acceptance of opinions.Use your own thoughts to influence the thoughts of your boss in a subtle way, and gradually achieve the effect of assimilation.At the same time, let the relationship between yourself and your boss slowly transform into that between subordinates and friends.When you want to raise objections, you will show more kind corrections and reminders between friends, and your usual thoughts have gradually integrated into his thinking, and your objections will be easier to accept and accept. Adopted.

Second, the better principle.Since we want to raise objections to the boss's plan or plan, then there should be a better and more appropriate plan instead.Blindly opposing is not convincing. If you want to make the opposition stand, you have to show your sincerity, and the better plans and plans you put forward are your best sincerity.As a boss or boss, of course, he hopes that the performance of his department and company will be better. If your plan can bring better benefits to the entire company, the boss will of course accept it.Not only will your voice of disapproval not make him disgusted, but it will also make him look at you with admiration.

Third, part of the principle.The so-called "partial principle" is not to completely veto the boss's plan, but to point out some deficiencies under the premise of affirmation, which is easier for people to accept.Since your boss has come up with his own plan and is ready to implement it, it means that in his mind his plan is perfect and impeccable. If you attack it directly and criticize it thoroughly, no one will accept it. .Therefore, when raising objections, you must first praise the merits of the plan, and then point out some minor flaws in some of the content, and put forward the possibility of further improvement, and it must be well-founded. In this way, you Your boss will naturally be able to calmly accept your objections.

To raise objections to your boss, you must have a good reason, and you must convince him completely, rather than just saying "no".Pay attention to the skill of saying "no", which can give others face and prevent yourself from offending others.

Therefore, we must remember that when raising objections, whether it is the boss or others, we must try our best to be tactful, not to hurt the self-esteem of others, and not to make others feel subdued or embarrassed.Against him, but still let him still be complacent and proud is the best result.

To learn this method of euphemistic objection, you should pay attention to the following rules: explain the reasons for your objection to the other party; the words of objection should preferably be firm and decisive hints, and should not be wavering; do not put all the responsibility on one person, and be vague; Hurt the self-esteem of others, and let the other party feel that your objection is out of necessity, and I am very sorry.

These are all obtained after summarizing various psychological elements, and are in line with the basic psychological demands of people to accept opinions and objections.If you can do the above points when raising objections, I believe that your objection will not be drowned out, but will make the objection stand, and even be appreciated by your superiors.

(End of this chapter)