Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 27 Psychological Manipulation of Love: Sweet Talk, Expressed with "Heart" (1)
Love is an expression of emotion, but it is different from ordinary emotions.The psychology of men and women in love will change more or less, and may even be quite different from their usual selves.Men and women in love, their minds become more delicate, more sensitive, and more elusive.If you want to win sweet love, you can't be lazy in your mind and mouth.The so-called "falling in love" is bound to be able to "talk", and to be able to "talk", you must not only "talk" with your mouth, but also "talk" with your heart.

1. Everyone likes sweet talk
The flower of love is beautiful, but it cannot be separated from the rain of language.Love without beautiful language will lose a lot of color, and language without love connotation will also be extremely pale.If you want to grasp the best love in your life and let the flower of love never fade, you need to water it with your heart with your beautiful language.

American steel king Carnegie said: "We are not dealing with rational animals, we are dealing with emotional animals, animals full of prejudice and driven by pride and vanity." It is human nature and instinct to speak beautiful words and listen to beautiful words.And human beings have the ability to deal with each other instinctively.Therefore, as long as the beautiful words are correct, it is harmless to others and beneficial to oneself, and this condiment is indispensable in love life.It is difficult for a man who does not know how to praise women to gain women's favor, let alone their love; for women, praise is also the best strategy to capture men's hearts.

Here are a few compliment techniques that can win over the opposite sex.

1. Don't fall for flattery.Appropriate praise is never easy.First of all, we must understand the aspects that the other party is proud of, and then praise them appropriately.When you haven't confirmed the direction of the other party's preference, don't say words of praise lightly, so as not to be self-defeating.

2. Good words are as light as water.If you repeat the compliments that the other party is used to, people will think that you are no different from ordinary people. If you can start from the places that others have not praised, you can better meet the other party's needs to expand themselves.Especially between lovers, the other party always hopes that you care about him (her) more than others. Once you find out that he (her) is different and appreciate it, he (she) will think that you care about him (her). A sense of happiness arises spontaneously.

Therefore, it is far more gratifying to look for the advantages of the other party that have not been seen by others and to praise them than to be praised by others.

Usually pay attention to observation, pay attention to discovering the advantages of the other party, do not repeatedly praise one aspect of the other party, and change the angle of praise, which will make the other party taste a novel sense of superiority.

3. "Praise" house and black.Aiwujiwu means loving a person and also loving people or things related to him.When complimenting a woman, you may wish to use this method. Don’t just pay attention to her, pay attention to her dress, and praise her silk scarves, coats, shoes, bracelets and purses, etc., which will definitely bring them a lot of attention. happy.Come to think of it, maybe you really mean it when you say "you're such a nice guy", but how do you know if he or she is really a nice guy in the short time you meet for the first time?This will make the other party suspicious and wary.It's a different story if you're complimenting something the other person has done in the past or her clothes.Because this kind of evaluation of fait accompli has nothing to do with whether you know the other party, it can have a better effect when you meet for the first time.

The young men and women were introduced to each other, and the boy couldn't find a suitable topic for a while, so he casually said: "Your bamboo bracelet is so unique!" I thought it was just a casual sentence, but unexpected things happened. Effect.It turns out that the girl's bamboo bracelet can only be seen in Taiwan's shopping malls, and it is an accessory she has treasured for many years.This casual remark made the girl very proud.

This kind of indirect compliment can often cater to the other party's psychology, and thus receive better results than direct compliments.

4. Ambiguous compliments.At the beginning of first love, both parties don't know each other very well, so you should be more careful about complimenting each other at this time.For example, if you say "you're so slim" or "you have lovely eyes" to your girlfriend, it's fine if it's true, but if it's not, the other person will think you're mocking her, and will be unhappy or even very angry.

Therefore, when facing lovers, more abstract and ambiguous compliments are more effective.Many words themselves contain multiple levels of interpretation, the same word or sentence, different objects have different understandings.Moreover, people tend to make themselves consciously understand in a positive direction, thus producing an associative effect.Compliments like "you're gorgeous" or "you're like a colorful cloud" can work really well.Because the other party will often feel ecstatic after hearing it, but in fact the true meaning of this sentence cannot be determined at all, but the listener will think of his own advantages, and then find out one of the advantages that best fits the compliment, and think about what the other party praises. Probably this is it!

5. Empower the public tone.The results of psychological research show that the public opinion of a group can change a person's opinion of himself and affect a person's loveliness.

There is such an experiment.

The psychologist arranged a girl who was considered an "ugly duckling" and had completely lost confidence in many aspects of herself to integrate into the surrounding group. From the day of the experiment, everyone was asked to agree that the girl was actually very attractive, The boys are competing to ask her out on a date.Soon, the girl became cheerful and regained her self-confidence. She was completely different from the "ugly duckling" before.

Under normal circumstances, women are always very sensitive to popular things, especially the dress of the people around them, and have a strong imitation psychology.If you don't catch up with the trend in time, you will be very disappointed.

The average woman likes to imitate the behavior of others.A housewife who finds out that her neighbor has bought a rocking chair thinks she should buy one herself.Years ago, miniskirts were all the rage in many countries, and it had a lot to do with women's uneasiness when they found out they were behaving differently from the general public.

Therefore, when praising women, you might as well give the tone of the public.For example, say to her, "Everyone says you sing well", "Everyone praises you for your cooking skills", etc., which will give her a kind of psychological comfort and make her feel that she is paid attention to and recognized, and she will naturally will have a good impression of you.

2. The language of the first meeting should be appropriate

Mastering conversation skills can enable you to express your rich thoughts and subtle inner voice to the other party in an appropriate way when you are in love. Although there are certain difficulties in this, as long as you are a caring person, pay attention to everything, learn from time to time, and speak properly It is not difficult to be decent.

1. Talk to a bridging lover.Usually, the two parties who are introduced by others to have a love relationship are often introverted, honest, honest and introverted.It's easy to be nervous when it comes to appointments.However, the first meeting is crucial, and things will not go smoothly if you are always shy, even taciturn.We must try our best to be generous and open our mouths.

Turn from some gossip to the main topic, cut straight to the point, and introduce yourself with some modifications, such as age, job, hobbies, family status, and yearning for the future.Next, find some topics that are familiar or interesting to both parties.Confessions should be as tactful and reserved as possible.When talking, you must first judge the other party's ability to understand and accept, otherwise, it will be difficult for the other party to understand what you mean, and unnecessary ambiguity may even arise.If you have feelings for the other party, you might as well say bluntly: "I think it's a pleasure to meet you today, how about you?" You can continue to communicate in the future... Do you mean it?" If both parties or one of them are not satisfied, say tactfully: "Let's all think about it carefully..." Or say: "I will ask my parents for advice. Opinion..." Find some suitable excuses, avoid showing dissatisfaction, maintain the etiquette of communication, and respect each other.

2. Talk to lovers who fall in love at first sight.The heroine Tatyana in the novel "Evgeny Onegin" written by the Russian poet Pushkin is a passionate, innocent and nature-loving woman. She immediately fell in love with the hero Onegin when she saw him He, and very boldly wrote a poem to confess Onegin:

I know that you are sent to me by God,
You are my lifelong protector...

You appeared in my dreams,
Although I can't see you, you are already dear to me...

This is "love at first sight".

In 1920, at a ball in Paris, Captain Charles de Gaulle invited Ms. Vendulot and said: "I am honored to know you, it is an inexplicable honor..."

And Wangduluo said: "Mr. Captain, I don't know anything more beautiful than your words, more beautiful than this moment..." They talked to each other while dancing, and when the sixth dance was finished, , they have already vowed to each other, set a lifetime.

Because everyone has different personalities, different occupations, different cultural accomplishments and temperaments, no matter what kind of lover you have the first conversation with, there is no fixed pattern, and the expressions and content of the conversation are also different, but it is There are general principles that need to be grasped: talk about ideals farther away; be more thirsty in knowledge; reveal a beautiful heart; express your rich emotions; show a humble tone; let the other party see a sincere attitude; On the one hand, it should be expressed more implicitly.

The first conversation between a man and a woman affects whether the future emotional path can be smooth and harmonious.If the first conversation can achieve the above effects, you can successfully win favor.

3. The art of questioning in love
Bad questions will make the other party embarrassed, difficult to answer, and even angry, thinking that you are deliberately trying to make things difficult for him (her).Therefore, lovers should figure out the other party's mind and master the art of questioning in communication, so as to please the other party and get the answer you want at the same time.

Pay attention to the following three aspects when asking questions in love.

1. Pay attention to the content.Don't ask questions that the other party is difficult to answer, unable to answer, or inconvenient to answer.For example, questions that exceed the other party’s knowledge and level of knowledge seem to be intentionally questioned, embarrassing the other party; questions involving privacy or sore spots can easily make the other party angry; inquiring about the other party’s savings, salary, property, famous relatives and friends, etc. The other party thinks that your love motive is not pure, giving people the impression of superficial and snobbish.

In addition, don't easily inquire about the other party's love history. Even if you are a close lover now, you can't violate the other party's right to retain privacy.If you really want to know, then talk about your own experience in this area first. After the other party listens, they may take the initiative to tell you about their love history.However, you need to pay attention to using this method. You have to make sure that the other party is not a "jealous jar" before you can use it. Otherwise, before you get out the other party's words, the other party may already be jealous and leave angrily.

2. Pay attention to the way.Do not ask and answer in the household registration style, which will make the other party feel under trial and depressed.Sometimes when you ask a question, it is estimated that there will be adverse reactions, you need to get a vaccination first-"I ask you a question, I hope you don't get angry!" Asking questions is best to follow the other party's train of thought, and ask the question in a timely manner, so that the other party feels that asking questions is not probing him ( some secrets of her), but did not understand the conversation just now.It is natural and appropriate to ask questions like this, and it also prevents the other party from doubting your motives for asking questions. After all, at the beginning of the relationship, the other party still has psychological defenses.Be careful to avoid questions that the other party can only answer "yes" or "no", preferably enlightening, at least let the other party talk about it.

3. Pay attention to timing.Don't interrupt the other party's words, this will not only affect the other party's thinking, but also make the other party think that you have no self-cultivation.Also don't ask questions when the other person is in the middle of a conversation, as this will only make people feel very disappointed.If you want to ask a question, ask the question at the end of the other party's paragraph and before the start of a new paragraph.At the same time, it is advisable to give some hints before speaking, so that the other party is prepared, and you are given a chance. It is best to arrange the hint a few seconds before the end of the other party's conversation.Experienced people will find that when the talker is about to end, he often speaks at a slower rate and his tone gradually decreases.Asking questions at this time will allow the other party's brain and psychology to have a buffer and room for preparation, and your dialogue will naturally proceed smoothly.

In love, both parties are often very sensitive. If the question is not asked well, it is likely to cause some suspicion in the other party's psychology. If it is small, it will have a grudge, and if it is big, the relationship will fail.Therefore, grasping the way, content and rhythm of asking questions is a skill that cannot be underestimated in asking questions about love.Whether your way of asking questions can make the other party accept and answer happily is a key part of your continuation of the topic.As the so-called "falling in love", it means that you must be able to "talk" on. If you ask the wrong question, you will not be able to "talk".

4. Be wary of annoying speech
If men and women in love want to leave a good impression on each other and make them like themselves, they must pay attention to their usual conversation.Your usual speech is very important to your image. Before confirming a romantic relationship, both parties must first examine each other with critical eyes. If your conversation is uncomfortable or even annoying, then I am afraid that this relationship will die prematurely.

Especially as a man, no matter you are beautiful or ugly, no matter you are tall, short, fat or thin, your conversation must be the first thing that conquers people.When Jing Ke sang "The wind is rustling, the water is cold, and the strong man will never return when he is gone", Qu Yuan wrote "The road is long, I will search up and down", and Li Bai sang "An Neng smashes his eyebrows and bends his waist to serve the powerful, so that I will never return." Unhappy face" and other rhetoric, what people experience is the boldness of a stalwart man.

However, in life, there are still many men who make girls terrified when they speak out, and even "shelter away".Here are several kinds of conversations that girls hate, and they are listed here, hoping to learn from them.

1. Pretending to be feminine.This is what is commonly referred to as "sound of milk".A man is a man, rough and frank is his true nature.In order to show their gentle side in front of their sweetheart, some people speak in a shrill voice, thinking that this is gentleness. In fact, on the contrary, it will give people an artificial attitude, not only without the masculine beauty of men, but also just Make Sven sweep the floor.The so-called "high voice should be soft, light but not buoyant; low voice should be heavy, heavy but not muddy", this is the basic requirement for people's pronunciation, especially for men.

2. To spit all over the place.When talking to a girl, she just brags about herself, talks gaudyly, spittle flies, and splashes on the other person's face from time to time, and sometimes the corners of the mouth are covered with white foam, which is disgusting.

3. Break the casserole and ask the end.It is good for people who are good at inquiring to seek knowledge, but if you apply this advantage to love, it will have a very different effect, at least it will make people think you are a mother-in-law.If you keep asking questions about work, friends, and daily life, she will not only be annoying to answer, but will also make it impossible to express what she wants to say.

4. Pretending to be deep.Everything is about nature and nature.In front of the beloved woman, you can't always keep a straight face, making people feel cold and lifeless.If it is like this all day long, no matter how much the person who loves you, will not be able to bear your dullness and dullness after a long time.Appropriately revealing the pure and natural side of one's temperament, coldness is not synonymous with a man.

In addition, male roughness and informality should not be reflected in vulgar speech and inconsistencies in words and deeds.In the process of talking, don't interrupt casually, and don't comment on girls behind their backs. This will only make girls farther and farther away from you.A gentlemanly manner in conversation is always appreciated, especially by women.

(End of this chapter)