Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 29 Psychological Manipulation of Love: Sweet Talk, Expressed with "Heart" (3)
From the formal point of view, the quarrel between lovers is very similar to quarrel, you say something, I say something, sarcasm and ridicule each other, and never give in.However, there is still a qualitative difference between the two: when bickering, when the two speak those sharp words, their attitudes are cheerful and relaxed. "Soft friction" has become the best way to express intimacy and coquettishness, such as saying "You are boring, rascal, and shameless" with a kind and mischievous smile on the other party's face.If it was changed to a cold expression, then such words would not be bickering, but insults.

Precisely because bickering is sharp on the surface but kind and gentle in nature, it has a wider space to show the true emotions and rich personalities between lovers than the sweet words that express one's heart.Therefore, men and women in love like this language very much. It is as relaxing and romantic as a game, and at the same time, it can deepen mutual understanding, enhance feelings, and make love more colorful.

Although bickering between lovers is a very interesting language game, it is not without rules. Lovers need to pay attention to the following points when bickering.

1. To grasp the depth of feelings.There is a general principle in conversation: "Shallow friendship cannot be deep." The same applies in love.If the two parties are still in the stage of mutual exploration and ambiguity, if they want to deepen their understanding through bickering, they can choose some general topics that do not involve the relationship between the two parties, such as arguing whether it is better to live in a big city or live in seclusion in the countryside. Whether the "left-handed" is smart or the "right-handed" is smart, etc., so that both parties can be free from restraint, and the "safety factor" is also large.

2. Don't stab the other person's self-esteem.Lovers quarrel, and love to tease each other with joking words. At this time, exaggeration and ugliness are inevitable.But even exaggeration and ugliness should take care of the other party's self-esteem. It is best not to involve the other party's physical defects or the other party's parents that the other party cares about, and do not sarcasm the people and things that he (she) thinks are sacred, otherwise it will be It is possible to make yourself boring and break up unhappy.

3. Pay attention to the mood of the other party.Bickering is a confrontation of words and swords. A relaxed environment and full psychological preparation are very important. Only in this way can you enjoy its happiness.So when you want to quarrel, you must pay special attention to the mood of the other party at the time.When you are in a good mood, you can play tricks and make jokes casually.But when your lover is unhappy about the lack of money for marriage, you say: "What's wrong? It's like someone owes you 200 yuan." Then you will definitely receive this kind of complaint: "People are going to be upset to death Now, you still have the heart to make fun of it, it’s really unlucky to find you, a pauper.” The taste of bickering will also become bitter.

Therefore, bickering is also exquisite and skillful. The right time, the right place, the right way, and the right person can make bickering play a very positive role, and can make both parties in love go deeper into each other's hearts.Some people call the bickering in love "playing coloratura". Not everyone can sing well in coloratura. It needs to guess the other party's psychology, and it needs to pay attention to technology and art. Only when you handle it properly can you bring the other party into yourself step by step In the world of the world, sing a fascinating show.

9. Love "tricks" in the words of men and women in love

For people in love, regardless of men and women, love is beautiful and exciting.However, the "difference between men and women" in love is also obvious.Because the structure of genes is different, the psychology of love is also very different.Byron said: "Men regard love as a part of life, and women regard love as their whole life." The difference in the concept of love between men and women naturally leads to the differences between men and women in love.

For the results they want, both men and women will play some tricks in love, which is manifested in the language of women's "rejection tactics" and men's "insincere words".

Let's first listen to women's rejection tactics.

"Honey, shall we go on a trip together during the holiday?" the man asked.At this time, no matter how willing the woman is in her heart, she will always show a reserved and melancholy attitude: "This... let me think about it again!"

If a man proposes to a woman, most of the time he will not succeed at the first attempt. Even if she also wants to marry you, she will tactfully evade: "I'm not ready yet!" "I'll think about it!" "Wait a minute! "

In the eyes of men, women are really elusive animals. They seem to be playing hide-and-seek with you deliberately, smiling at you not far from you, and running away when you approach her.Women seem to be keen on this kind of psychological game, and like to make men anxious, it is best to make them run around in a hurry. Even Heine said: "A woman is an angel at a time, and a demon at a time. It is really hard to figure out." Of course, the reason why women are so , and a large part of the reason is due to natural self-defense instinct and shame.Because of the psychology of self-protection, I choose instinctive rejection to protect my psychology and physiology from harm.

Psychologists believe that love is like a seesaw, and women are often emotionally passive and weak.They subconsciously believe that if they give too much enthusiasm, they will lose their focus and not be respected by the other party, so they will be more reserved in their words and deeds in many cases; When they give up, they will take the initiative to heat up again, so that the other party can rekindle their enthusiasm for themselves.There is no doubt that women have successfully mastered this "love mechanics", hoping to control the outcome of love through the tactics of verbal rejection.

Of course, men are not to be outdone. Although they don't have as many careful thoughts as women, most of them understand what women like to hear, even if they "speak insincerely"!Now let's take a look at how men use "insincere words" to confuse women.

They will say to their first love: "You are my first and last love!"

Will say to the woman who can't get it: "I will protect you for the rest of my life, even if you don't love me, it doesn't matter!"

Will say to a woman in love: "No matter what you become in the future, I will only love you!"

When a woman is unexpected, she will call and say, "I just want to hear your voice!"

When love encounters a crisis, he will say: "As long as I can be with you, I don't care how hard it is!"

Will say on a sweet date: "You are my everything, I only care about you!"

Even imitate the worst lines: "If I want to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is 1 years!"

No matter how insincere they say it, they say it without blinking an eye, because women are willing to believe it for no reason, and believe it, whether it is true or not.In this respect, the man is indeed a linguistic genius.No matter how well a woman knows how to refuse to dodge, she probably won't be able to withstand such an attack.Of course, the reason why men can still speak without shame even if they are insincere is that apart from believing that these words will be useful to women, they even think that what they say is true in many cases, at least at that moment!However, if a woman believes in it and thinks it has an indefinite shelf life, she may only be disappointed.

In any case, both men and women have their own little "tricks" in love.Of course, this cannot be said to be a blasphemy against pure love.Love is not static, let alone rigid, it needs to add some color to become sparkling.Everyone wants to get sparkling love, so how can you let your language be boring!It is not impossible to add some small "conspiracies" and "tricks" in it.

10. "Keep talking", never let love disconnect
When love reaches the boiling point, it still needs a certain amount of heat to keep the constant temperature of love, otherwise, the fire of love will gradually cool down with the passage of time, and at that time, the two people who once loved each other will have to part ways.The effect of force is mutual, and love is even more so. If one party feels the indifference of the other party, the relationship will naturally fade. It is not uncommon for two people who were once passionately in love to end up as strangers in the end.So, how to maintain the constant temperature of love?Language is a very important strategy.

1. Keep communicating every day.Sweet words will make the lovers stick closer and make each other feel more harmonious and warm.Even if the conditions are limited, you should take time to talk to the other party about your joys and sorrows.Or ask what book the other person is reading recently and how they feel about the protagonist in the book.When talking, be sure to fully show your attention and let the other party feel that you really care enough about the topic you are talking about.

2. Talk about hobbies.Talking to each other about each other's interests and hobbies is an effective way to adjust the atmosphere.Once two people have the same hobbies, the relationship will naturally be one step closer.It doesn't matter even if the interests and hobbies are different, at least you can understand the interests of the other party. When you talk next time, you can research the interests of the other party in advance, and there will still be topics when you meet.It's not hard to find topics that catch your lover's eyes. Thinking about the things you two did together when you first fell in love can help open up interesting conversations.Revisiting things that both of you like from time to time, such as dancing, outings, cooking, etc., can add more vigor and vitality to your love life.

3. Create conversation opportunities.Everyone needs to work and study, and couples are no exception.When two people are not working or studying together, a certain space distance will give you more reasons to talk. Men and women in love always hope to be together all the time. Like every three autumns."Therefore, in addition to work and study, take advantage of various opportunities to exchange feelings with each other, especially on festivals or special anniversaries belonging to two people.It can be through a face-to-face meeting, or by phone or letter to send timely words of love to the other party.Talk to each other when you have troubles, and share with each other when you are happy. This will make the other party feel that you are a separate whole, and each other can also feel that there is me in you and you in me.It is necessary to have long talks regularly, and the interval should not exceed one week, and the more the better.Asking each other to go for a walk in the park or to eat at a restaurant will make each other more focused on each other.

In daily life, more love words between lovers can make each other's love deeper and stronger.If love is likened to the Great Wall, then language is the solid bricks that build the Great Wall.If the two parties in love are gears that bite each other, then those words full of love are indispensable lubricants.Some people say that marriage is the tomb of love, it is because he does not know how to preserve love in marriage.Love is not only stored in the heart, only when the two parties maintain a love dialogue, can the other party feel that they have not been forgotten and that the love is still going on.So, in order not to let the love disconnect, please don't be stingy with your language, and keep talking.

(End of this chapter)