Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 30 Family Manipulation: Adding Language to Life (1)
Family is the basis for a person's growth, maturity, and success. If we want to achieve success in work, love, and career, we all need family as a solid backing.The harmony, stability and health of the family directly affect our mental outlook and state of mind.Therefore, it is everyone's duty to maintain the relationship between the various members of the family.To maintain this kind of relationship, you need to be honest, considerate and love each other, you need to feel each other's needs from the bottom of your heart, and you need to use warm words to calm quarrels, communicate feelings, convey care, and express love.

1. The word "jealousy" can also adjust feelings

Happy and happy love is prone to jealousy.Jealousy is often considered an unhealthy psychological problem, but if used in the right place, it can also play a positive role.Appropriate jealousy is an expression of cherishing love, and it can also adjust feelings.Therefore, with the help of slight jealousy in language, the emotions between husband and wife can be sublimated in laughter.

The husband went shopping with his wife, and the wife noticed that the husband kept casting his eyes at a beautiful salesperson next to him, so she whispered into his ear, "Honey, go and say something to her!"

"Why?" the husband asked puzzled.

"Otherwise others will think that you are dreaming about her!"

The clever wife condemned her husband's behavior in the language of jealousy, humorously and implicitly.

Zhang Gang is a simple and honest northern man who loves sports.His wife, Wang Hua, is a typical southern woman who comes from a scholarly family and likes painting.Although the two have very different personalities, their married life is happy.

Once, an exhibition of calligraphy and painting was held in the exhibition hall, and Wang Hua hoped that her husband could accompany her to see it.Zhang Gang, who was not interested in art, was very reluctant, but in the end he couldn't hold back his lovely wife, and the two came to the exhibition hall together.

As soon as you step into the exhibition hall, you can see a group of men in the center of the exhibition hall discussing a painting.Wang Hua said to her husband: "Look at how tasteful they are. People who don't understand art in modern society will be ridiculed."

Zhang Gang was very unconvinced when he heard this, and he said to his wife: "You look here first, and I will go there too." So he squeezed into the crowd.

After Wang Hua finished his visit, he found that there were still many men surrounding the painting in the center.Curious, she struggled to squeeze in.It turned out that this was a body art painting. In the painting, there was a nude beauty with only a leaf covering her lower body. The painting was very realistic.Only then did she suddenly understand, and finally understood why there are so many men around here all the time.So she thought of her husband, and she really found that he was staring at the painting intently with his chin in one hand.Wang Hua leaned over quietly, nudged her husband who was concentrating on admiring the nude painting with his elbow, and said, "Honey, don't look, that leaf will only fall in autumn!"

In married life, the phenomenon of jealousy is very common, especially the jealousy of wives, which emerges endlessly.A woman is quite sensitive, she is used to comparing people or things she meets, and she is full of worries that she will not be recognized.When a smart wife discovers her husband's slightly "deviant" behavior, she will not overturn the whole jar of jealousy, and of course she will never condone her husband's behavior. They often express humorously and do not hurt her husband, but they must let him smell it. Sour.If the wife finds out that her husband has "deviant" behavior, she will immediately overturn the entire jealousy. After a long time, irreconcilable conflicts will arise between the husband and wife.But once the wife uses jealous language, the effect is different.Such language not only creates humor, but also reminds the husband, which can have great effect.

When there is unhappiness between husband and wife, both parties should learn to resolve it with witty and humorous jealous language. This will not only ease the conflict between husband and wife, but also further deepen the relationship between husband and wife.Whether it is a husband or a wife, it is a wise move to know how to show your jealousy in marriage with clever language rather than extreme behavior.

2. Loving couples should also care about the tone of speech
The role of tone in language expression cannot be ignored.The same sentence, with a different tone, makes people sound different.The same is true between husband and wife. Pay attention to the proper use of modal particles, so as not to hurt the self-esteem of the other party or the harmony of the family.

As a model couple of the British royal family, Queen Elizabeth II and her husband, Prince Phillips, have had almost no discord, no scandal, and no betrayal in their more than 60 years of marriage. This is not unrelated to their mutual respect.Of course, as a high-ranking queen, Elizabeth occasionally showed arrogance and conceit in her tone, but her husband made her understand what respect is.

Once Elizabeth came home and found that the bedroom door was locked, so she began to knock on the door. Her husband Phillips asked inside: "Who is it?" Elizabeth replied impatiently: "I am the Queen!" Not open.So, the queen knocked on the door again, and her husband continued to ask: "Who is it?" At this time, the queen seemed to have understood something, so she replied: "Elizabeth." However, the door was still closed.Elizabeth had to knock on the door again, and her husband asked again: "Who is it?" Elizabeth replied this time: "Your wife." At this moment, the door opened.

No matter how noble your status and status are, two people are equal in family life, and husband and wife should respect each other in order to live in harmony.No matter how loving and harmonious the couple is, they should pay attention to the tone and way of speaking. Any bossy and arrogant rudeness will become discordant notes and destroy the relationship between husband and wife.It was Elizabeth who understood this that allowed her husband to open the door of the room, and at the same time opened the door of each other's hearts.

"Go buy salt!" "Clean up the closet." In daily life, one spouse often assigns work or issues tasks to the other in a commanding tone.This imperative language does not mean to discuss at all, it seems to be taken for granted.Doing this too many times will easily lead to adverse consequences, especially when the other party is in a bad mood at that time, it will be particularly unpleasant, and even quarrels will occur.The best way to avoid this is to negotiate more and order less. "Can I buy a bag of salt?" "Can I clean the closet?" This is quite pleasant.Even if the other party is busy with something, he will happily agree.

However, this tone of discussion is not suitable for everyone.

An Hong often speaks to her husband in this tone: "Let's park the car there." "Let's clean up after dinner."

This tone annoyed her husband.The husband interprets "Let's do this" and "Let's do that" as commands.Like many men, An Hong's husband hates being controlled by others, but to An Hong, she didn't instruct her, but just suggested it.However, some men understand it just in the opposite direction.Once they realize that others are ordering them in an implicit way, they get annoyed at being manipulated, preferring to accept straightforward demands.

Everyone's personality is different, and their understanding of tone and language is also different, so don't ignore tone when speaking between husband and wife, because your tone is likely to be considered by the other party to have some kind of emotional color, and this kind of emotion The color was something he didn't want to see.Your tone hurts the other person unintentionally, but you don't know it.Everyone's personality is different, and what you think is innocuous words may be overheard by the other party.Therefore, even husband and wife should pay attention to the tone and way of speaking. Only by choosing the tone or language suitable for each other according to the personality and psychology of the other party can the desired effect be achieved.

3. Argue moderately, reconcile well

Some people say that quarreling is also an art, especially for families.Families that do not quarrel often lack vitality; families that do not quarrel are often very dangerous, because every quarrel is a family earthquake.

No matter how connected a husband and wife are, they are not alone after all.It is a combination of two personalities, contradictory yet unified, one ebbs and another, jointly maintaining the balance and unity of marriage.We must know that no matter when the two powers confront each other, this balance will be disrupted and conflicts will erupt.As the saying goes, "A couple who don't quarrel is not a good couple".It can be seen that quarrels are inevitable, but how can quarrels not destroy the established title of "good couple"?This requires couples to grasp a degree when quarreling, even in the most impulsive situation, do not exceed the following boundaries.

1. Don't be self righteous.No matter what the reason for the fight, don't take it for granted.The kind of courage that "it is better to chase the poor with the leftovers" does not apply to family members.On the contrary, we should adhere to the principle of "the poor should not chase after".

2. Do not expose short.Since husband and wife get along day and night, they are very familiar people, so they are very familiar with each other's faults and shortcomings.If the other party has any physical defects, under normal circumstances, due to consideration for the other party's face, they will not point it out easily.But once a quarrel occurs, when you have no reason to speak out and are in a disadvantageous situation, you are likely to target the other party's shortcomings and want to subdue the other party by sarcasm and exposure.There is a saying that "you don't hit someone in the face, and you don't expose your faults when you swear." Everyone hates others who maliciously expose their faults. Doing so will only irritate the other party.

3. Don't turn over old accounts.When some couples quarrel, they like to pull out all the past things, turn over old accounts, and use those old and rotten things as evidence to enumerate the other party's "no" and "sin".This approach is very stupid.It is difficult to clarify the old accounts between husband and wife.Therefore, it is best to discuss the facts when a husband and wife quarrel, not to talk about the front and back, and to deal with the problem in line with the principle of "breaking the pot and talking about the pot, breaking the pot and talking about the pot", so that the immediate conflict can be easily resolved.

4. No dirty words.When quarreling, the husband and wife may shout loudly, or even say some extreme words, but they must not swear or use dirty words, which will further intensify the conflict.

5. Do not belittle the other party.When a couple quarrels, avoid using evaluative language to belittle each other.For example, "You are such a wimp!" "You are simply a shrew!" These words that belittle the other party will also hurt the self-esteem of the other party. In order to maintain their dignity, the other party will inevitably quarrel to the end.

6. No relatives involved.When some couples quarrel, they not only blame each other, but some even rush out of the house and involve the other's elderly and relatives.For example, "You are as unreasonable as your mother!" "You are as stupid as your father!" It is wrong to point the finger at the other party's elders like this, and the other party cannot tolerate it.

7. Don't threaten divorce.Divorce is the best option for breaking up a family, but it's as stupid as it gets.In this way, it is oneself who is tortured and absolutely no one else.Even if you don't have the idea of ​​divorce, just talking angry words won't do, because this kind of words can fuel the flames in the quarrel.

8. Don't threaten sex.As the saying goes, there is no overnight hatred between husband and wife.It would be foolish to interfere with a couple's sexual relationship because of a quarrel.Because sex is the strong bond that keeps the relationship between husband and wife together, once the chain is broken, the trouble is really big.

9. Be patient.There are often many habits, hobbies, personality inconsistencies or incompatibility between husband and wife, so they often quarrel over some trivial matters.If one or both parties can be patient, or take the initiative to change their living habits, it will turn hostility into friendship.Of course, any change is undoubtedly painful, but it is always worth it for love, for family, and for permanent "peace".

Generally, quarrels are over after the quarrel, but if the quarrel is not controlled, the conflict may be intensified, and the consequences will be disastrous.After a husband and wife quarrel, a cold war situation arises. When it reaches a certain level, one party needs to break the silence first, and the other party will respond at this time. The husband and wife shake hands and make peace, and get back together.

Here are a few ways to break the silence and end the Cold War.

1. Speak out and reconcile.If the conflict is not serious, just occasional friction, one party can directly greet the other party and break the silence first.For example, "Okay, don't be angry anymore, what a big deal. Let the past be the past." The other party will respond, and of course it can be settled.Another way is to pretend to have forgotten all the unpleasantness, as if nothing happened, and take the initiative to talk to the other party. If the other party pushes the boat smoothly, the silence can be broken.For example, before going to work, the husband asked his wife who was still angry: "Where is my tie?" Seeing that the husband didn't hold grudges, the wife couldn't ignore it, and said, "Isn't it in the closet?" The deadlock was easily broken again. .

2. Acknowledge mistakes and seek summation.If one party realizes that he is the main person responsible for the quarrel, he should take the initiative to admit his mistake to the other party and ask the other party to forgive him.For example, "Don't be angry, it's my fault, and I must pay attention in the future. I didn't think carefully, the responsibility is on me, I apologize to you, it's not worthwhile to get sick with real anger!" After hearing this, the other party's anger may instantly reduced to nothing.Taking a step back, even if the fault is not your own, as long as it is not a major matter of principle, you can take the initiative to take responsibility.

3. Humor and reconciliation.Humor is the best way to break the ice.For example, "I said my dear, the cold war in this world is over, can we loosen the cold war in our family?" Half a month has passed, and the moon should be full now! Isn’t a woman the moon?” The other party will probably turn sunny after hearing this.

In short, as long as one party can adopt corresponding communication methods and use words skillfully according to the specific situation of the conflict, the deadlock can be broken as soon as possible after the conflict occurs, and the family life will still restore the joy and harmony of the past.

The life and death contract is broad, and you will be happy with your son; hold your hand, and grow old together with your son.Husband and wife are like this two people who have to support each other to walk all their lives. In the process of walking, the two will inevitably bump into bumps, quarrels and quarrels that are well grasped and handled in a timely manner, and there will be no serious problems.Some couples may live and quarrel forever, but their hands are always tightly held.In short, as long as the quarrel between husband and wife is well grasped and reconciled in time, the relationship will not be hurt. When the "rain is over", the two will naturally reconcile as before.

4. Use humor to maintain harmony in the family
Humor can bring joy to people's life, and can resolve all kinds of worries and troubles that people encounter in life.Humorous talk is also a "lubricant" for lovers to communicate and enhance their relationship.If there is a lack of communication between the husband and wife, they will not be able to understand each other's thoughts and feelings, and the marital relationship will not be able to change, mature and improve with each passing day, and this marathon-like marriage may not be so easy to maintain.

No family member wants to have a relationship crisis or even rupture. Everyone wants to have a loving home. This requires more communication, exchange of ideas, and mutual care among family members.The use of figurative humorous language can achieve unexpected results.If the husband forgets to do something, the wife will point out humorously and complain loudly, which will definitely have a different effect.Humor can help people eliminate worries, worries and fatigue, is beneficial to people's physical and mental health, and is conducive to the harmonious coexistence among family members.

There was a wife who was smart and capable, but her husband had no ambition to make progress. The wife always put on airs at home and regarded herself as the head of the family.Directly criticizing the husband is not only useless, but will intensify the conflict between husband and wife.One day, the wife told a fable to help her husband understand himself correctly. From then on, the husband worked hard and finally achieved certain results.

The fable goes like this:

On the plane, a passenger asked the stewardess for a drink, but no one responded for a long time, so the passenger had to give up.

(End of this chapter)