Eloquence Psychological Manipulation: Improving Language Ability and Improving the Quality of Life

Chapter 3 Psychological manipulation of speech: the intimate relationship between language and psychology (2)
Spoken language reflects a person's psychological characteristics and life style, which is formed by the influence of two major factors: major events and cumulative effects.Once the spoken language is formed, it is difficult to change within a period of time, and you can even see a person's spiritual outlook and attitude in a certain period of time from it.Of course, we can also master our inner changes through changes in our spoken language, and change our negative psychology by changing our oral habits.However, people are bound by spoken language in most cases. In many cases, regardless of whether the spoken language is suitable for what you want to express, it will come out unconsciously, destroying the quality of your speech and affecting your personal image.Therefore, if your spoken language has nothing to do with what you want to express, it is better to avoid it as much as possible.

4. Speaking speed hides psychological mystery
Human language expression is also an expression of psychology, emotion and attitude, and among them, the speed of speech more directly reflects the speaker's psychological state.It can be said that the speed of conversation is a key factor in understanding the state of mind.

In life, it is not difficult for us to find that everyone has their own relatively fixed way of speaking and language speed.And through careful observation of speaking speed, it is not difficult to grasp a person's personality and true psychology.

People who speak quickly are often short-tempered. They talk like beans pouring out of a bamboo tube, and they must finish in one breath without others interrupting.Such people are generally shrewd and capable, with a warm and outgoing personality, and most of them belong to the type with a more flamboyant personality.In terms of temperament, such people are usually sanguine. Although they are cheerful, lively and informal, they are sometimes irritable and impulsive.

People who speak slowly are generally slow, they are relatively slow to respond, speak slowly, no matter how urgent things are, they don't rush, but let the listeners worry for them.This kind of person is usually honest and kind, with a quiet and introverted personality, and may appear a little dull.In terms of temperament, these people are mostly phlegmatic. They have a gentle temperament and are serious in doing things, but they are more face-saving, have a little temper, and often get angry over some trivial things.

Speech speed is a language characteristic formed by each person for a long time, and it is also a unique personality characteristic of each person. It is objectively inherent and will exist for a long time.Of course, this fixed way of speaking sometimes changes suddenly, and this change can accurately show the speaker's psychological state and psychological appeal at that time.

Change [-]: Speech speed changed from fast to slow.A person who is usually straightforward and eloquent suddenly becomes unresponsive, hesitating and stuttering when facing a certain person at a certain time.In this case, it usually means that the person has concealed some things, or feels guilty because he has done something wrong, which leads to lack of confidence when speaking.

Of course, this kind of situation may also happen to men and women in love.Men who are usually eloquent and humorous, and women who are sharp-tongued and enthusiastic, may suddenly become overwhelmed and shy once they face the person they like, and don't know what to say for a while.As a result, the speed of speech changed from the usual fast and urgent to vague and intermittent.This is undoubtedly a psychological signal of "I like him (her)".

Another possibility is that a person who usually speaks too fast or at a moderate speed suddenly slows down. He is usually emphasizing a certain point or something in order to attract the attention of the listener.

Change [-]: Speech speed changed from slow to fast.A person who usually speaks slowly and calmly, suddenly speeds up his speech, and the volume is also obviously increased, indicating that he may have encountered unwarranted suspicion or slander, which made him emotional. In order to protect his own interests or dignity, he Involuntarily increased the volume and speaking speed.On the contrary, if he is speechless when he is accused by others, then the accusation is likely to be true.

A person who speaks faster than usual is also more likely to be lying.Although, a liar usually shows a guilty conscience, which slows down his speech and becomes hesitant, but if the lie has been fabricated in advance, the liar's speech will be obviously faster than usual, because he is one of them eager to get the word out. Finish the whole set of lies as soon as possible, and at the same time don't want your lies to be interrupted or exposed.

A sudden increase in speech rate may also occur in a debate or speech, which is caused by the content of the speech.When the speaker is emotionally aroused, the speed of speech will be accelerated unconsciously, subconsciously in order not to give the opponent or the audience room for rebuttal and thinking.

The speaking speed subtly reflects a person's psychological state when speaking. If you pay attention to the changes in a person's speaking speed, it is not difficult for you to discover his inner ups and downs and psychological secrets. This is an effective way to master psychological manipulation.

5. Psychological needs reflected by vulgar abuse

The psychological manifestations of language are not only subtle and imperceptible, but they can also be very violent, such as vulgar invective.These vulgar verbal abuse are often not because they really have any deep hatred or hatred for the object they abuse. They probably just want to use this to vent their dissatisfaction, and this dissatisfaction is often due to the unsatisfied psychological needs. And caused.

In modern society, competition is fierce.Everyone is more or less under the pressure of life, and the dissatisfaction in the heart is piling up all the time. When there is emotion, it needs to be vented. It's just that people adopt different methods, and verbal abuse is an undesirable and excessive way.

We can sometimes see this scene on the street or on the bus: some well-dressed and well-dressed women make a scene because they are crowded or stepped on, and the vulgarity and decibel height of their curses are sometimes unimaginable .These foul-mouthed abusers often use vulgar words that are far from their image.Why do they disregard their image and make trouble for no reason in public?To a large extent, it is because they want to be dissatisfied in some way, and they do it to vent the emotions that have accumulated in their hearts.These people often feel restless and uneasy psychologically, but there is no way to eliminate them, so they have to accumulate them in their hearts.Crowding or trampling is just a trigger, and this fuse is exactly what they need. These small incidents are just a tool for them to use.Once caught by them, such an opportunity will explode at the right time, and in a very extreme way, regardless of time, place, object, and consequences.

This phenomenon is often caused by life and work stress.There was once a report that a white-collar woman had repeatedly dressed up as a peasant woman to squeeze the bus and quarrel with others in order to vent her pressure.Therefore, if you encounter such a person who is rude and abuses you, you must not take it to your heart, it is best to ignore it.Because those vicious swear words have no special meaning, and the person he is targeting is not necessarily you.If you are really angry and scold him, you may not be able to take advantage of it verbally, but it will make the situation worse, and get his favor but damage your own image.Therefore, for abuse, you must understand the psychology of the abusers. They have emotional intelligence problems, and you don't need to go crazy with them.Even if he is targeting you, you can also adopt a cold approach that does not change, or a more courteous and courteous way to let the problem be solved automatically.

One day, a scholar went to visit the abbot in the temple, and he said to the abbot: "I cursed people today, I feel so happy!" The abbot asked him why.He said: "I met a jerk today that I really hate, he talked to me, I ignored him, and he didn't get angry. So I called him 'you are like a piece of shit'. He froze for a while and looked at it. I said 'you are like a Buddha'. I was very surprised, but I was still very happy in my heart!" The abbot said: "You need to reflect on yourself. He said you are like a Buddha, which means he has a Buddha in his heart; you said he is like shit , it means you have shit in your heart."

This is the content of psychoanalysis embodied in ancient Chinese psychological thought. The ancients have already discovered the potential psychological characteristics of the abusers, but modern people are not aware of it. It is really a pity.The psychological manipulation of language requires you to see the essence through the phenomenon and understand the psychological characteristics of the abuser, so that you can grasp and manipulate people and things well, of course, including controlling your own emotions.

6. People who like to brag are often anxious
As the saying goes, "You can't pay taxes if you brag." It is not difficult for us to hear such words in life, such as "If it weren't for me...", "He still relies on me", "It's just like him", "What is this?", etc. .When they hear these words of boasting about themselves and belittling others, most people will laugh it off, and they will not really admire the speaker's abilities and talents in their hearts, and sometimes even despise such people from the bottom of their hearts.However, many times we ourselves make such mistakes unconsciously.According to a British survey, more than [-]% of the respondents admitted that they speak "big words" at least once a day.So why do we have such a problem?This is usually caused by our inner anxiety and lack of self-confidence, and sometimes it is a way to prove ourselves.Psychological research shows that: the need to compensate the self and the need to reduce anxiety are two common psychological factors that cause bragging and big talk.

Some people like to show off their abilities and status.For example, when a stock agent opened his mouth about how many big clients he had, or how highly valued he was by the leader, these were not facts.This kind is out of psychological compensation. On the one hand, this kind of bragging is to show oneself and attract others' recognition and attention. On the other hand, it is to make up for the psychological gap and achieve the ideal self psychologically.

Lan Qi is getting more and more bored with her husband Wang Rong now, because she finds that Wang Rong likes to brag to others more and more recently.Lan Qi and Wang Rong are just middle-level employees of the company.But Wang Rong likes to boast to others how rich his family property is, how outstanding his work is, how appreciated he is by his boss, and how promising his future is.All this made Lan Qi very disgusted, because her husband was simply talking big.Once, Wang Rong even laughed at his friend Xiao Zhao whose income was lower than his own, saying that in his opinion, if the monthly salary is less than 8000 yuan, he is basically considered an inferior person.Xiao Zhao was so angry that he slammed the door and left, and the party of friends broke up unhappy.

This symptom of Wang Rong is a typical symptom of obtaining psychological compensation through excessive boasting.Usually, people brag to cover up and dispel inner anxiety and make up for the psychological gap.This behavior is especially obvious in men. They are accustomed to using language to relieve their psychological pressure and burden, and to resist the demands and expectations of society and families. People with weak abilities are more likely to use bragging as an anesthetic. Self-confidence, reduce inner fear and anxiety.

General MacArthur of the United States during World War II was very good at using such big words to reduce inner anxiety.

Once, a bomb dropped by the Luftwaffe exploded near General MacArthur. The guard asked him in panic why he didn't get out of the way quickly. MacArthur said: "Hitler will never make a bomb that can kill MacArthur."

Big talk can allow people to gain an advantage in the psychological game and deliberately despise their opponents, thereby reducing anxiety.People often need to use big words to improve self-confidence and reduce inner fear and anxiety because of too much work pressure, which is generally within the normal range of psychology.But if the bragging is completely illogical, or even has a tendency to delusional, it is a manifestation of abnormal mental personality, and a psychiatrist is needed for psychological counseling to avoid mental problems.

Therefore, in daily conversations, we should pay attention to the psychological problems reflected by bragging, and be aware of the bragging phenomenon of ourselves and those around us.On the one hand, it prevents one's boastful talk from being disgusting and leaves a bad impression on others; on the other hand, through this phenomenon, it prevents the occurrence of psychological problems.

7. People who speak harsh words are unlucky at heart
There is this set of jokes about numbers:

1 said to 0: "You say you are nothing, but you still don't admit it!"

8 said to 0: "Look at you, you are fat, you don't have any curvaceous beauty!"

1 said to 7: "When did someone break your waist?" 7 said to 1: "Unlike you, someone cut off your head!"

5 said to 2: "Look at your servile face!" 2 retorted: "Why don't you look at your corrupt belly?"

6 said to 9: "Why are you pretending to be cool, and you're still playing handstands!"

Although these were just jokes made with numbers, these vitriolic words were truly from people's mouths.For example, two women, one fat and one ugly, quarreled on the street, and the ugly woman scolded the fat woman: "You are a pig on hormones!" The fat woman replied: "At least I used to be thin, but you, have you ever been beautiful?"

People with sarcastic and demeaning words can be seen everywhere in life. These people often choke on others, their words are always jagged, and they promise to cut others' pain points with every sentence.It can be said that people with harsh language are gifted with language and are experts in the use of language.They will praise people to the sky, and they will demote people to the earth.Their mastery of language skills can be described as superb, and they can use various rhetorical techniques such as metaphor, personification, and synaesthesia very naturally and proficiently.Speaking is even more capable of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, and ridicule.

(End of this chapter)