1000 Business Lessons Every Businessman Must Know

Chapter 99 Eloquence training: Good eloquence is a required skill for being a good boss (3)
The speaking context, that is, the speaking environment and atmosphere produced by the language itself, is the most difficult and most common phenomenon in the art of speaking.Different words express different content and create different atmospheres. If you do not pay attention to the changes in the context of your speech, go your own way, stick to your own way, and do not know how to adapt, not only will not achieve the effect of speaking, but sometimes it will make the conversation impossible.

An old teacher who graduated from the Chinese Department of a certain college in his early years and worked hard for decades has retired. For this reason, the school together with another retired old comrade who has won the "advanced" award many times There was a farewell party.

The leaders and comrades at the meeting gave enthusiastic and very decent affirmation and praise to their work and conduct. In contrast, the old comrade who has won the "advanced" award many times has a lot of praise.When it was the turn of the two retired comrades to give their thanks, they expressed their deep gratitude to everyone for their praise.

For a time, the venue was filled with an emotional and warm atmosphere.As a thank you, the words should have ended here; however, the old teacher did not stop there, but was touched by people's praise of another "advanced", and made quite inappropriate associations and developments. : "Speaking of advancement, unfortunately, I have never had it once..." Before he finished speaking, a young teacher who sat across from him and didn't get along very well with him suddenly took the conversation: "No , that’s our fault, it’s not that you don’t deserve to be advanced, it’s that we didn’t mention your name.” There was an embarrassing “sting” in the words, and the old teacher’s eyes and brows froze unexpectedly. Being "stabbed" showed a sentimental expression, and for a while there was an embarrassing atmosphere of displeasure in the venue.

Seeing that the situation was not right, a leader immediately took over the conversation, trying to ease the atmosphere.Logically speaking, at this time, he should avoid the sensitive topic of "advanced" and talk about other things instead.However, he repeatedly comforted the retired old teacher, telling him not to care about the issue of "advancement", saying that not having been evaluated as advanced does not mean that he is not advanced enough. Advancement is not only in name, but also depends on facts.And so on and so on, one word is tantamount to repeating and extending the topic that should have been avoided, making the already embarrassing situation even more embarrassing.

829. Pay Attention to the Situation of Speaking

A person who doesn't like to talk often talks endlessly on occasions that excite him.On the contrary, talkative people will remain silent in special circumstances.Regardless of whether people love to talk or not, the induction of their desire to speak is related to the time situation.It is often said that "speaking with emotion" means that it is expressed with emotion in the context of the speech.

Once, a leader was invited to participate in the "New Century Party Member Image" speech, he didn't want to speak at all, and he didn't prepare.However, when he debated the issue of "whether party members can be laid off", he was irritated by the almost one-sided negative opinions of other speakers, stepped onto the podium, and made the first "impromptu speech" in his life, which was a great success.

The leader originally didn't want to speak, and had no desire to speak at this meeting. It was the specific circumstances of the speech venue, especially the specific conditions of the almost overwhelming negative opinions, that stimulated him and aroused his desire to speak.

The so-called "impromptu speech" is mostly the speaking situation that arouses the speaker's desire and makes him speak with enthusiasm.As the saying goes: "The drum does not ring until it is struck, and the bell does not ring until it strikes." Without the trigger of a specific situation, speech often does not occur.

While the situation induces the desire to speak, it also provides a topic for talking.

In the first act of Lao She's play "Tea House", there is such a scene: the street is full of soldiers and horses, and Tan Sitong's remnant party is being searched. In the dull situation of "don't talk about state affairs" in the novel, a new speaking situation has emerged.then:
Tea Guest A: Who is Tan Sitong?
Tea guest B: I think I have heard of it?Anyway, he committed a serious crime, otherwise, why would he be executed?

Tea guest C: In the past two or three months, some officials and students have been messing around. How can we know what the hell they are doing?

……

Wang Lifa: Dear customers, let's not talk about state affairs, shall we?

(Everyone quiets down, talking about their own things again)
At this time, the topic of discussion about Tan Sitong was provided by the new speaking environment, and following the advice of "don't talk about state affairs" from the teahouse proprietor Wang Lifa, it returned to the original environment.The new speaking context is gone, and the topic about Tan Sitong is over.The context of speaking is the closest part to the speaking subject in real life. It can be directly perceived by the speaker. It is the speaking material placed around him, which can be participated in at any time and become a topic of discussion.

830. Clever use of occasion effects
People use language in a certain social culture, and factors such as social culture and history permeate into language, restricting the use of language.

When some leaders find problems, they often invite their subordinates to their offices to talk.The office is the place where the superior works. When subordinates come here, they can easily associate with the relationship between the superior and the subordinate, so a mentality of "must obey" arises.In this way, in a conversation that was originally a reciprocal conversation, because of the participation of the special social environment of the place, it is beneficial to one side, making the two equals become active and passive.There is a kind of "condescending" momentum (of course, this is only a psychological difference, and it is by no means "overpowering others").

By analogy, if there is a dispute between the customer and the salesperson, the manager should skillfully induce the customer into the sphere within which he can influence—the manager's office.This can not only avoid the expansion of the situation, but also isolate the customer from the onlookers, avoiding some adverse reactions from the crowd and further increasing dissatisfaction.Therefore, the manager's office has actually become a small social environment that is conducive to dealing with problems.Conversely, in order to strengthen communication, enhance trust and friendship, leaders should go out of the "leadership effect zone" and go to staff dormitories, canteens, clubs and other places, so as to let go of the topic without restraint.Such non-linguistic factors, sometimes just like invisible magnetic fields, have extremely powerful special effects.

It can be seen that using a suitable social background to speak can significantly improve the effect of speaking, which requires us to have keen thinking and penetrating vision to understand the social background, and be good at using the real objects in front of us and the place we are in to create a favorable environment. environment that speaks for itself.

831. How to speak in public

The most important criterion for speaking in public is "don't make a fuss".Don't make noise, that is, don't make noise, don't grandstanding; don't startle, that is, don't make a fuss, don't disturb others.While fashions change from year to year, one fact remains constant: moderation.There is a saying that casual clothing is only appropriate sometimes, and formal attire is never too wrong.Not speaking properly in public is like walking down the street in a busy city in shorts or home pants, or strolling down the beach in high heels.

Therefore, we should have decent words and deeds in public.When outsiders come to you, you must have decent behavior and language, and you must also be polite to them; you must be polite among members of the organization; you also need to be polite when you go to others.For example, if you go to a government agency to do business, you must first register at the door according to the regulations, and wait for the doorman to call to confirm that it is an appointment before you can enter the door.After finding the department and the person in charge, you should briefly explain the purpose of your visit. If there is something that cannot reach a consensus, such as an issue involving vital interests, don't get emotional and make a lot of noise, causing adverse effects.

Pay attention to leaving space for others when depositing and withdrawing money in the bank, and wait outside the "one-meter line".When doing business in the office building, you should dress neatly, answer the questions raised by the doorman politely, knock on the door before entering, and enter after getting permission, and do not drive straight in.If you are going to sell, you should pay more attention to politeness, office buildings are often not welcome to sell, you should use your behavior language to give them a good impression.In a restaurant, you can't be as informal as you are at home. Spitting, smoking, etc. are very impolite.Unless it is a reserved seat in a restaurant, it is best not to make too much noise, so as not to affect other customers eating.To find someone in an apartment with better conditions, you need to cooperate with the doorman.Don't make loud noises when you go to ordinary residential buildings. You should apologize for finding the wrong door.What needs to be paid attention to in the venue is not to whisper. If there are a few places talking quietly, the voices heard by the people on the rostrum will be very loud.In addition, try to set the mobile phone and pager to vibrate or turn off the phone.

These are some of the most basic common sense in life, and we need to experience the rest carefully in life.

832. It is necessary to develop the habit of speaking according to the situation.

People's words and deeds often have certain habits.Some inappropriate words are not intended to be said subjectively, but slipped out of the mouth inadvertently under the control of habits, causing incongruity with the occasion and environment, and even they themselves regret it afterwards.For example:
Xiao Wang happily went shopping with his wife.In the bustling shopping mall, my wife was in high spirits. She went from counter to counter, bought this item, and looked at that item again. It was almost noon and she still had no intention of going back home. Xiao Wang became a little impatient.When his wife proposed to buy another high-end woolen sweater, he couldn't help but said bluntly: "You still have more to do, buy what you see, how much money do you earn?" Looking at them, his wife's smiling face suddenly changed, and she retorted angrily: "Why, I haven't spent enough money yet, why are you in a hurry? I'm going to buy it, what's the matter?" It was embarrassing to speak out.Then the angry wife stopped buying and walked out of the store by herself.What puzzled Xiao Wang was that his wife's personality was very docile, and she never spoke loudly at home, saying that she didn't care about anything, let alone get angry, but why is she so angry today?Apparently, it was Xiao Wang who ignored the occasional factor, took the usual sayings in the family to public places, accused his wife in a blunt tone, and stabbed his wife's self-esteem, which caused her to show a tough attitude in order to protect her face.

Therefore, outspoken people must consciously get rid of their inertia in oral expression, and develop good expression habits that take into account the occasion and adapt to the situation.In communicative activities, we must take into account various related factors such as the communicative object, communicative occasion, and communicative time, think about how to open your mouth, and choose the most appropriate way to speak, so that your speech can meet both the requirements of the occasion and the target. Acceptance psychology, to maximize the communication with the communication object.

833. Criticism depends on the occasion

If you don't pay attention to the occasion and criticize people at will, you often don't receive the effect of criticism.This is especially true for leaders, who not only fail to achieve results, but also hurt the face and self-esteem of their subordinates, as well as their own image and prestige.

You must pay attention to the occasion when criticizing your subordinates, and you must not swear like a shrew.Because most people don't want to see their bosses scolding their subordinates, and they don't want to see their colleagues being scolded.Of course, some people will gloat, but most people will side with the scolded.

Some people like to reprimand their subordinates in front of everyone, not out of anger, but because they want to show their superiors, customers or other subordinates that it is not his fault, but a subordinate's ineffectiveness.In fact, this approach is naive.

One is that since you are a leader, you have to take responsibility for all matters within your duties.If you keep emphasizing that you don't know, it will only make you cover up and expose your lack on the other side, that is, your management is not effective, or the management rules formulated by you are not sound.More importantly, your behavior of shirking responsibility will make other subordinates feel chilled, and they will think that you are a selfish, narrow-minded, and immodest boss.

Second, if something goes wrong, you push the responsibility onto the subordinate and use the subordinate as a shield. Then, there is no doubt that the subordinate may no longer be enthusiastic about any work from then on.Moreover, he would still think in his heart: "Okay, this time you take me as a scapegoat, then let's ride a donkey to read the libretto—we'll see!"

What's more, if your subordinate is a short-tempered and short-tempered person, he may confront you on the spot and start a big fight.

At this time, he may reveal some shady things about you, and then walk away.In front of so many bystanders, who is in the most embarrassing situation?In the end it wasn't you who lost face.

Therefore, when a problem occurs, even if you are sure that the subordinate made the mistake, you should call him to the office to criticize without a third party.

834. At the Wine Table, Watch Your Words
"Wine culture" is an ancient and fresh topic.In the process of communication, modern people have increasingly discovered the role of wine.

Indeed, as a medium of communication, wine plays a unique role in welcoming guests, seeing off guests, meeting friends, communicating with each other, and conveying friendship. Exploring the "mysteries" on the wine table will help you communicate successfully.

There are many guests in most banquets, so we should try our best to talk about topics that most people can participate in, and get the approval of most people.Because individuals have different interests, hobbies, and knowledge, try not to be too biased in the topic, and avoid being self-centered, talking about everything, going off topic, and ignoring everyone.

In particular, try not to whisper to others, giving others a sense of mystery, making them feel jealous of "just the two of you", and affecting the effect of drinking.

Most drinking parties have a theme, which is the purpose of drinking.When going to a banquet, you should first look around at the expressions of everyone present, and distinguish between the primary and the secondary. Don't drink just for the sake of drinking, and lose the good opportunity to make friends, and don't let some sensational drinkers disturb the banquet.

The wine table can show a person's talent, self-cultivation and communicative demeanor. Sometimes a witty and humorous language will leave a deep impression on the guests and make them have a good impression of you invisibly.Therefore, you should know when to say what, use appropriate language, and be witty and humorous.

Persuading people to drink is often encountered at the wine table. Some people always like to use the wine market as a battlefield, trying to persuade others to drink more, thinking that it is unreal to not drink too much.

"Talk about a hero by wine", it's okay for people who drink a lot, but it's difficult for those who drink a little. Sometimes excessive persuasion will completely destroy the original friendship between friends.

If you want to get everyone's appreciation at the wine table, you must learn to observe words and expressions.To communicate with people, you must understand people's hearts and have both ways, so that you can play the role on the wine table well.

835. Pay attention to language when visiting patients

When relatives and friends are sick and hospitalized, people will inevitably go to the hospital to visit them.However, whether people speak appropriately when visiting a patient will have a considerable impact on the patient's psychology and emotions.Especially when some patients have a series of negative emotions and psychological fluctuations such as depression, anxiety, doubt, fear, passivity, dependence and self-pity due to serious illness, if the visitor's language is used well, the patient will be refreshed, and then Actively cooperate with treatment to help restore health.Therefore, comfort is a "good medicine" to soothe the soul of patients.If the visitor's speech is inappropriate, it will cause considerable psychological pressure on the patient and affect the treatment effect.So, how do people speak when visiting sick relatives and friends, in a hospital environment?
The consolation of visitors to sick relatives and friends can give people confidence.At this time, the comforting language is more vivid and powerful than ever. It is easy to evoke the resonance between the patient and his own emotions, and then stabilize the patient's thoughts and emotions, which is beneficial to the treatment of the patient's disease.

People's timely encouragement to patients is their psychological support and plays a decisive role in mobilizing patients' will and courage to overcome the disease.Especially when some patients lose confidence in the treatment of their diseases, if you give sincere and objective encouragement in a timely manner, you may be able to "return the dead" to the patients.A young construction worker accidentally fell while working at heights and fell into a coma. After the patient woke up in the hospital, he felt that his lower limbs could not be controlled. He suspected that he would be permanently disabled and had the idea of ​​committing suicide.A friend of the patient found this idea and encouraged him in time: "You are young and strong, with strong physiological functions and a strong metabolism. As long as you actively cooperate with the treatment and exercise more in the future, you will definitely not be disabled. This is what the doctor said. Please help me." Believe me!" Just a few words of encouragement made the patient abandon the idea of ​​suicide and strengthened his confidence in treatment.

[-]. Good eloquence makes you respond to everything

836. The Speech Style That Responds to All Responses
The same boss, the same speech, some people's speech is heavy, some people's speech is light, this is the difference caused by the way of speech.The way of speaking is very important to a boss.

1. Concise and concise.

If there is no special need, as the boss, the speech must be concise and to the point.A boss who keeps short stories can easily be recognized and loved by his subordinates.

2. Last appearance.

The psychological factor of "putting the focus on the back" is most representative in China.During the meeting, the higher the official rank, the later the person arrives; the actor who shows up on the stage, and the last actor to appear on the stage must be the most important and top-notch.In fact, speaking is the same. The more you put the emphasis on the back, the more important it will be to show the importance of what you say.

3. Speak your personal language.

Most people have their own idioms, that is, mantras.Mantra is a colloquial language that people often hang on their lips. They always use this sentence to introduce themselves and emphasize themselves, so that others can sound friendly and natural, and also establish a unique image for themselves.

4. Humorous.

Humorous words, easy to remember and impressive, are the trademarks of self-promotion, so that people can remember you and make your words more powerful.

5. Keep your sentences short.

Short sentences are easy to say, save effort to sound, and are attractive.It is best to have one meaning per sentence. If the meaning of a sentence is too complicated, the listener will struggle, and there will be an additional obstacle to communication.

6. Easy to understand.

(End of this chapter)