To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 13 Before you speak, you should pay attention to these

There must be a sense of proportion in speaking, and a good sense of proportion. A very common sentence will add a little weight; words that are few and precise will give people a feeling of deliberation.The measure of speaking determines many factors such as the object, topic and context of your conversation.In other words, speak with moderation.

Always "have something to say"

Demosthenes once said: "A ship can know whether it is broken by the sound it makes, and a man can know whether he is wise or foolish by his words."

This sentence tells us that people often judge themselves by their inner thoughts, but others will judge you by what comes out of your mouth.

Ji Xiaolan is well-known for being witty and witty. In addition, he is also an excellent communicator.Ji Xiaolan was already very general when she was young.Once, he was playing ball with some children on the side of the road, and accidentally threw the ball into a sedan chair.

Everyone hurried over to take a look, it was amazing!The person sitting in the sedan chair turned out to be the magistrate of the county, not only that, the ball hit his black hat impartially!

"Whose child dares to act wild here?" The county magistrate, whose Wu Shamao was knocked sideways by a ball flying from the sky, scolded angrily.The children dispersed in a rush, but Ji Xiaolan stood up and went forward to get the ball back.

Ji Xiaolan respectfully said to the county magistrate: "My lord has outstanding political achievements, and the common people live in peace, so the juniors can play here."

When the magistrate heard it, his anger immediately subsided. He smiled and said, "What a little ghost! How about it, I'll give you a couplet. If you match, I'll return the ball to you."

The county magistrate looked around and asked a question: "There are six or seven boys, but you are the only one who is cunning!"

Ji Xiaolan rolled her eyes and said the second line: "Grandfather two thousand stones, Dugong..."

"Duke what? Say it quickly!"

"My lord, if you return my ball to me, it will be 'Du Gonglian', or else it will be 'Du Gong...'" Ji Xiaolan deliberately hesitated to continue.

The magistrate of the county couldn't help laughing when he saw this situation, he returned the ball to Ji Xiaolan and scolded with a smile: "Good boy, you really deserve it! I don't want to fall into your trap and become a 'dugong greedy'! "

A word can determine the country, and a person's speech may change his life. In the 20s, there was a civil rights activist in the United States who promoted the "racial equality movement" in the streets and alleys.His voice is calm, but his words are full of tension. Wave after wave of words is like a symphony, layered on top of each other in a sharp manner, directly reaching people's hearts.

When he finally roared out "I have a dream! I have a dream" in the deepest voice, the crowd in the audience was all agitated, and they frantically responded: "Amen! Amen!"

This civil rights activist named Martin Luther King conquered the country with this famous "I Have a Dream" speech and rewrote the history of the United States.

To conquer a person, or even a group of people, often times it is not the sword, but the tip of the tongue.

We may not have the wit of Ji Xiaolan or the charm of Martin Luther King Jr., but "speaking well" is an art that we must learn throughout our lives.

know the situation first, then talk
Franklin once reminded us: "When anger and recklessness march, remorse follows in the footsteps of both."

Getting angry when encountering unsatisfactory things can only vent your dissatisfaction, and it will never help you solve problems or get out of the predicament.

A market research section chief of a certain company caused the company to suffer heavy losses because he provided wrong market information.For such a serious mistake, there is no doubt that the general manager of the company can reprimand him without asking why, or even remove him from his post.

However, the angry general manager still endured it. He thought, he had to find out first: Was the section chief himself incompetent and he believed the wrong information, or was it caused by unforeseen reasons?

So, the general manager suppressed the anger in his heart, calmly called the section chief, and asked him to write a report on the reasons for the misjudgment.

Things dragged on like this for a while, but unexpectedly, a few months later, the company made a fortune because of the extremely accurate information provided by the market research chief.

So, the general manager asked someone to invite the section chief again, and said: "I read your last report, and your work was not very meticulous, and you have some responsibility, but it is mainly caused by unpredictable accidents. Therefore, the company decided to exempt you from punishment, and you should not take it to heart any more, as long as you learn from the lesson in the future. This time, you did a good job and provided important information to the company, and we still praise you the same.”

After speaking, the general manager immediately took out a red envelope from the desk and handed it to him. When the section chief took the red envelope, his eyes turned red.

Therefore, you must always remember that before you open your mouth to criticize others, you must understand the facts and ask yourself in your heart: "Am I not making a mistake?" You have to apologize to your subordinates.

However, even if you can put down your airs and frankly say "I'm sorry, I made a mistake" to your subordinates, it will be difficult to let go of the hurt and hatred for your subordinates all at once.

If you know that this mistake was indeed made by a subordinate, you need to investigate and think further: How much responsibility should this subordinate take?Is the reason for the error inevitable, is it a momentary negligence, or a weak sense of responsibility, or even knowingly committing it?

Therefore, you must control your mouth and keep in mind a sentence: "Without investigation, there is no right to speak." When encountering a problem, don't get angry and criticize others, but go to understand the situation.

In this way, the initiative is in your hands. When and how you want to criticize him is completely up to you.

Pay attention to know how to think differently

Before we say anything, we have to think about others in our minds, so that what we say will not cause conflicts and misunderstandings, and we will not easily make mistakes.

In fact, in life, we often make mistakes because we only think about problems from our own perspective.In order to avoid such mistakes, you have to learn to empathize and adjust your behavior on this basis.Empathy is to completely switch to the perspective of the other party to think, so as to understand and tolerate people better. It is to put yourself in the perspective of the other party in the process of observing and dealing with problems and doing ideological work, and to re-understand things. Grasp it again in order to get a more accurate judgment, so that what you say can really speak to the hearts of others.

There is such a story in the Bible.Once, everyone wanted to kill a prostitute.Jesus said: "Yes, but each of you has to ask yourself, whoever has not made a mistake, then he can do it." Everyone present felt guilty, and no one hit her in the end.Why did everyone become afraid to do anything before this question from Jesus?Because no one is qualified to do it - as long as you think that you have made mistakes before, you can sympathize with this whore.

Even the weakest people are often able to speak out when they blame others; even the most intelligent people are often confused when it comes to their own flaws.If we often demand ourselves with the attitude of blaming others, and treat others with the attitude of forgiving ourselves, how can we not make great progress?
When I was a child, I often played a game: spread my legs apart, and look back from between the legs with my head down.The rural scenery that was taken for granted has a new idea, which makes people never get tired of playing it, and it is always new to play.As an adult, I have more social life experience and read some books, and I know that the seemingly simple game actually contains a not simple truth: empathy.

If you think about it carefully, the many unhappiness and conflicts in life may not all have complicated and serious reasons. If we can understand each other and understand each other, maybe it will not happen at all, and empathy is a way to achieve mutual understanding. Effective Ways.

(End of this chapter)