To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 3 Communication is to speak well (2)
3. Use beautiful syntax

Every language in the world has its own special beauty, and among them there is beautiful grammar.Communication is also a kind of language exchange, so the use of beautiful grammar is very necessary.

Of course, beautiful grammar does not mean superficial things like the abuse of adjectives.It's really a grammar that will make smart use of all kinds of words, not just adjectives.

"Then..." "At this time..." Grammar can give people a sense of fluency, and it is easy for others to follow your thinking. Between the succession and the transition, the communication has tended to be smooth.Using grammars such as "because..." and "so..." gives people a very logical and reasonable feeling, and others will be convinced by this. Who wants to deal with a messy and unreasonable guy?
Grammar is mysterious, and the successful use of mysterious grammar is beautiful grammar.When using beautiful grammar, you should respect the attitude of the other party first, and then express your own requirements.As long as the grammar is proper, even if it is inconsistent, the other party will not feel hurt, so they can accept your views and suggestions, and are willing to cooperate.

4. Move the perspective of others

When communicating, accepting the other person's point of view first, and then weakening the other person's point of view is a good way to respect others.In life, people's viewpoints are diverse and complex around you.Some of these viewpoints are easy to understand, and some are confusing and difficult to grasp.Opinions are easy to conflict, but people are unwilling to give up their own views, so when communicating, don't destroy the other party's views, you can only quietly move other people's views to bring them closer to your own.Remember, move, not change.

To move other people's point of view, you can use a game-like approach so that others don't feel serious pressure, because personal point of view is a serious issue.However, in the game, if the point of view moves and changes slightly, others will not notice it.

5. Use gestures to suggest
Our body has language, and our actions can often reveal our mood.Similarly, the actions of others will also give away secrets.Therefore, people in communication are very sensitive to the actions of others, and you can use this to your advantage.

If you make a thoughtful sideways movement when talking with someone, your body language will tell the other party that you have doubts about this issue. This is more effective than directly interrupting the flow of speech of others, and will not immediately conflict with the other party.At this time, others will definitely ask: "Is there anything you don't understand?" In this way, interrupting the language flow by others can effectively ensure that the self-esteem of others will not be hurt.

If you want to interrupt a conversation and rush off to do something else, you can keep peeking at your watch.Watches can sometimes be the shell of psychological time.At this time, others will ask: "Is there something wrong? You can go first." You can then retreat in a polite manner.

The use of body language is very particular about space.Talking in a large room puts each other on an even footing.But to achieve the level of intimacy, it is better to have a narrow room.It is easier to create harmony when talking without a table in between.Closeness in distance also creates closeness in spirit.

Body language can also preserve one's dignity.When you are late, panting and showing the appearance of hurrying, it is easy to be forgiven by others.

6. Pretending to be weak

There are always many people in the world who like to show their own strength and ability. In their eyes, others are always inferior to themselves.Such people are likely to be annoying to you, but you can also take advantage of them.If they like to perform, give them a chance to perform.

The easiest way to do this is to act clumsy on purpose in front of them, and they'll come up snorting and say, "That sucks, let me do it!" and then they'll do it themselves.This method is used by children, let alone adults.

The smartest way is to ask. If you ask for advice with an open mind, how can others ignore you?

7. Pay attention to the etiquette when talking
Proper etiquette is not only very important for interpersonal communication, but also plays an important role in conversation.Therefore, an experienced talker always maintains proper decorum.

(1) The expression of the conversation should be natural, the tone should be kind and friendly, and the expression should be appropriate.You can make appropriate gestures when speaking, but don't move too much, let alone dance, especially don't point your fingers at people.When talking with people, it is not advisable to be too far away from the other party, but also not to be too close, let alone chattering or patting.Don't spit when talking.

(2) Say hello first when joining other people's conversations, and don't come forward to listen in on individual conversations.If you want to talk to someone about something, you should wait for the other person to finish talking.If someone talks to you actively, you should be willing to talk to him.When the third party participates in the conversation, it should be welcomed by shaking hands, nodding or smiling.If you find that someone wants to talk to you, you can take the initiative to ask.When there is something urgent to deal with or you want to leave during the conversation, you should greet the talking party and apologize.

(3) When there are more than three people in the conversation, you should talk to everyone present from time to time. Don't just talk to one or two people and ignore other people present, and don't talk to others only about things that two people know and leave them cold other people.If it is inconvenient to let others know about the issue, you should find another occasion.

(4) In social situations, after speaking, you should give others the opportunity to express your opinions, and you should also express your personal opinions in a timely manner.Be good at listening to the other party's speech, and don't interrupt others' speech easily.Generally do not ask questions that are not related to the content of the conversation.If the other party talks about some issues that are inconvenient to talk about, you should not express your opinion on it lightly, and you can change the topic.When talking, the eyes should look at each other to show concentration.When the other party is speaking, don't look left and right, absent-mindedly, or look away, showing impatience, and don't keep looking at your watch, or make casual movements such as stretching or playing with things.

(5) Pay attention to the content of the conversation.Try not to involve cases such as illness and death, and don't talk about absurd, sensational or obscene things.Generally do not ask women's age, marital status.The so-called "don't ask money when you meet a man, don't ask age when you meet a lady".Do not directly ask questions about the other person's personal life such as resume, salary income, family property, jewelry price, etc.When talking to a woman, don't say that she is fat, strong, and well-maintained. Don't ask questions that the other party doesn't want to answer, and don't get to the bottom of it.Apologize for the other party's disgusting questions, or change the subject immediately.

(6) Men generally do not disturb or participate in discussions in women's circles, and do not chat with women endlessly to cause disgust from others.When talking with women, you must be modest and cautious, and don't make hurtful jokes with them.Discuss issues with moderation.

(7) Use polite language in the conversation, such as: hello, please, thank you, sorry, goodbye...When talking in social situations, generally don't get too entangled, don't argue loudly, and don't hurt people or make rude remarks.Even if you quarrel, you can't reprimand the other party, let alone ridicule and insult the other party. In the end, you have to shake hands and say goodbye.

When you speak, you need to read your words
Think in your heart and speak with your mouth.Through the window of language, one can peek into people's inner world, and social interaction is just a language confrontation under the dominance of different thoughts.Therefore, grasping the pulse of the other party's ideological activities through language is naturally the key to the success of interpersonal communication.Just as important as "observing words" is "observing colors".Observing the demeanor of the other party can sometimes capture subtle thoughts that are more real than words can express.Because many changes in demeanor are subconscious, at a certain moment, they may be completely outside the control of subjective consciousness.

Psychological research has proved that the stimulation of the human brain by external things often causes abnormalities in the functions of some corresponding tissues inside the human body in a short period of time.That is to say, people's emotions are expressed not only through spoken language, but also through human body in more cases.

(End of this chapter)