To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 5
How long does it take to gain a person's favor in communication?In fact, people always have a general impression of each other at the moment of first contact, and this impression directly determines the degree of their favorability.So, every word you say in the moment of initial contact is crucial.

Self-introduction can be more exciting

Self-introduction, in general, is to introduce one's own situation to unfamiliar communication objects, such as name, identity, occupation, specialty, etc., in order to let the other party understand oneself, provide convenience for oneself as much as possible, and establish contact with the other party.When people meet for the first time, they will have a psychology of understanding each other and eager to be respected by the other party. Therefore, timely and concise self-introduction can satisfy the other party's desire, and the other party will treat each other with courtesy and introduce themselves.

In daily life and work, people need to communicate with each other in order to seek understanding, help and support.Self-introduction is the most common way to communicate with others, increase understanding, and establish connections.

In social activities, when you want to meet someone but no one introduces you, you can introduce yourself to the other party.The content of self-introduction can be determined according to actual needs and the occasion, and should be clearly targeted.In some public places and general social occasions, if you do not have the desire to communicate deeply with the other party, you can only show your identity to the other party when introducing yourself.At this time, you only need to introduce your name, such as "Hello, my name is Wang Hai" or "I am Wang Hai".Sometimes, you can also explain the way your name is written, such as "My name is Chen Hua, Erdong Chen, Hua of China".If you need to communicate with people due to official duties or work, your self-introduction should include your name, unit and position. If you have no position, you can introduce the specific work you are engaged in, such as "My name is Wang Hai, and I am the sales manager of Rongfa Company".

In social activities, if you want new acquaintances to remember you and lay the foundation for further communication and interaction, in addition to introducing your name, unit, and position, you can also mention your relationship with some acquaintances or your relationship with the other party when introducing yourself. the same hobbies.

When introducing yourself, you should be concise and clear, full of confidence, and your attitude should be natural, friendly, and easy-going.In social occasions or at work, you should choose an appropriate time for self-introduction. When the other party is not interested, has no request, is in a bad mood, or is resting, eating, or busy with affairs, do not disturb to avoid embarrassment.If you introduce yourself to the attendees on formal and grand occasions such as lectures, reports, celebrations, ceremonies, etc., you should introduce yourself briefly and in detail.

"My name is Chai XX. I graduated from Harbin Institute of Technology majoring in machinery in 1988. In 2001, I studied industrial management at Provincial Radio and Television University and obtained a bachelor's degree."

"I have been working as a technician in the oil pump workshop of XX Automobile Factory since 1990, and was promoted to engineer in 2000. From 2003 until now, I have been working as a contract factory service company's auto repair shop. Over the years, I have been studying domestic and foreign machinery Advanced technology in processing, familiar with the variety, specification, model, quality, technological process, and sales of automotive oil pumps, and have certain management experience. I am 45 years old, and I am in the prime of life. I really want to start a career I personally act decisively, dare to make decisions, and dare to take responsibility. As long as I am given a certain amount of time, such as 10 days, I can figure out the whole situation, come up with a specific plan for setting up a factory, and propose an indicator for turning over profits.”

This is the self-introduction made by Comrade Chai XX from an automobile oil pump factory when bidding. It is more specific and detailed. It not only comprehensively introduced his education background, experience, interest, expertise, ability and personality, but also expressed his desire and confidence. , which won the initial trust of the bidding unit and fired the first shot for the subsequent bid.

Proper address is the best greeting

Appellation refers to the appellation used by people in normal communication and entertainment, and it is the "pioneer official" of verbal communication.In daily life, the address should be kind, accurate and conventional.The correct and appropriate address can not only reflect respect for the other party and one's own cultural quality, but also promote the success of communication.

As the saying goes: "One good word warms three winters." Appropriate addressing is like a greeting, which can make the other party get psychological satisfaction, make communication smooth, and make the relationship successful.On the contrary, inappropriate address will often cause the other party's displeasure or even sullenness, put both parties in an embarrassing situation, and lead to the obstruction or even interruption of communication.It can be seen that whether the address is appropriate or not determines the success or failure of people's communication activities and the quality of management effects to a large extent.Therefore, whether you are an ordinary person in any occupation or a leader or manager with a certain position, if you want to live a happy life and develop your career, you need to pay attention to the skills of interpersonal addressing and strive to improve your "addressing level".

The important role of appellation in interpersonal communication and management activities has long been noticed by people.Social psychologists believe that a proper address can make people feel happy, enhance self-confidence, and help form intimate and harmonious interpersonal relationships.And good interpersonal relationship is an important condition for people to be invigorated, mentally healthy and improve work efficiency.

So, what is the appropriate name?In fact, there is no unified mode of addressing. Different regions, different nationalities and different language traditions may have very different addressing habits; people with different occupations, positions, genders, and ages have different needs and expectations for addressing. not exactly.This has resulted in the complexity and diversity of interpersonal address, increasing the difficulty of appropriate address.But there is one thing in common, that is, to respect others and treat others politely. In this way, the other party will have a sense of pride and satisfaction in his heart. In turn, the other party will be willing to contact you and communicate with you actively, which makes communication Got off to a good start.But this alone is not enough, and the following points should be paid attention to in the specific address.

1. Remember the other person's name
Names are not only a sign to distinguish oneself from others, but many people's names also embody the expectations of parents for their children.Everyone will value and cherish their own name because of the need for self-esteem, and at the same time, hope that others will remember and respect it.Therefore, when one's name is called by others, one thinks that one is being respected, feels happy psychologically, and has a sense of intimacy with the person who calls one's name.At all times and in all over the world, some leaders, politicians and entrepreneurs are very familiar with this kind of mood, so they don’t just say “Hello” when greeting people, but use the other person’s name before or after “Hello”. Name, doing so played a very good psychological effect.This is why we are always so moved and admired by those who can still call us by their own name after a long absence.

2. Meet age status
The title must conform to the specific circumstances of the other party, such as age, gender, identity and occupation.When addressing the elderly, you should be enthusiastic, courteous, and respectful; to your peers, you should be sincere, with a natural expression, friendly and friendly, reflecting your frankness; Those who have a position or professional title shall refer to their position or professional title.In short, be polite, express your sincerity and respect for the other party, and be neither humble nor overbearing.Do not use "Hello" or "Hey" to address people. At the same time, you should also refrain from bowing your head and saying compliments.

3. Be courteous and orderly
When greeting multiple people, if there are older people and younger people or the opposite sex present in the group, pay attention to the order of the greetings.Generally speaking, it should be grown first and then young, up and down first, women first and men first, and husbands should be familiar with each other after they are sparse.The title can best express the speaker's moral cultivation, knowledge level and civilization, and also reflects his communication skills.If the difference between the senior and the young is taken into account when addressing, the elders will feel respected and the young will feel at ease; if the order is reversed, not only will the elders be dissatisfied, but also the person being addressed will feel embarrassed.Furthermore, attention should be paid to respecting women. When greeting a group of the same age and identity, addressing women first will make the other party feel that you have a higher quality and be happy to associate with you.

What needs to be emphasized is that the above points are not isolated, but mutually restrictive and closely related. They jointly determine the appropriateness and degree of appellation from different aspects.In our daily life, we can only receive the most ideal address effect by analyzing the appellation needs of the addressee from various aspects and choosing appropriate address terms according to the specific conditions of the addressee and the occasion of communication.

Introducing others needs to be accurate and precise
Introduce others, that is, the way a third party introduces two parties who do not know each other.In interpersonal communication, we can always encounter opportunities to introduce others, so how to satisfy both parties and achieve the desired effect?Although this is a seemingly simple question, it is actually very difficult to do.

When introducing others, you should pay attention to the following questions.

1. Pay attention to the order and etiquette of the introduction
Under normal circumstances, the young and low-status are introduced to the older and high-status to show respect for the latter.The general sequence for introducing others is:

(1) For two people of different genders, under normal circumstances, the man should be introduced to the woman.Such as: "Miss Li, this is Mr. Zhao, who just came from Hebei." If a man respects a woman, he should introduce the woman to the man: "Mr. Zhao, this is Miss Li from Harbin."

(2) For two people with different seniority and positions, the young, low-level, and low-profile person should be introduced to the older, high-level, high-profile person.Such as "Old Wang, this is Xiao Chen from the ××× newspaper office, Mr. Chen ××."

(3) When introducing a couple to others, under normal circumstances, the husband should be mentioned first, and then the wife.

(4) When peers get together, you should introduce the unmarried to the married, and introduce the familiar to the unfamiliar.

(5) When guests visit at home, they should first introduce the guests to family members, and then introduce the family members to the guests one by one.When introducing, the relationship and name of the person to be introduced should be clearly stated. At the same time, it would be better if their hobbies and characteristics can be briefly pointed out. This will give the guests a pleasant and friendly feeling and also show the harmony of the family.

2. Body language should be natural and coordinated when introducing

During the introduction, you should generally stand up, smile on your face, pay attention to etiquette, and signal with your palm facing upwards, and you must not use your index finger to point.

3. The amount of information in the introduction should be moderate
When introducing others, the introductory language should not be too lengthy, just be able to bring out topics for both parties to talk about.

4. The introduction should be warm and elegant, and must not hurt the self-esteem of the person being introduced

The purpose of introduction is to connect feelings, harmonize the atmosphere, and establish a communication relationship. Therefore, the words of the introduction should be enthusiastic, and should not be cold, let alone damage the dignity of the person being introduced.

John Mason Brown is a writer and speaker. Once he was invited to give a speech in a certain place, and was introduced by the conference moderator as follows:

"Attention, gentlemen. I have bad news for you this evening. We would have invited Iseka F. Maxson to speak to us, but he was unable to come, ill. (below Audience booing) Then we asked Senator Bradridge to come, but he was too busy. (Booing) Finally, we tried to get Dr. Roy Grigan of Kansas City, also unsuccessfully. (Booing Audible) And we got it—John Mason Brown (silence)."

The original intention of this introduction was not to belittle Mr. Brown, but it stabbed his self-esteem time and time again.There are two reasons for such mistakes and bad results: one is that the introducer reported the process of organizing this event like a running account, which is completely unnecessary and has objectively produced bad effects; the other is that Subjectively ill-considered, or not considered at all such questions: How to respect the speaker?How do you make your hard-earned speaking engagement a success?Therefore, in a sense, the introduction is the manifestation of the introducer's knowledge level, organizational ability and expressive ability.

Once, a university invited Zheng Yuzhi, who played Empress Dowager Cixi in the drama "Guangxu Coup", to give a speech.The host introduced her like this: "Students, today we managed to invite 'Lafayette Empress Dowager Cixi' here. (Applause, laughter, the audience's emotions warmed up) 'Lafayette' Comrade Zheng Yuzhi was domineering on stage The emperor, eunuchs, and ministers all kowtowed and kowtowed when they saw them, but they were amiable and sincere in the audience. She just talked to me about it, and she also played the role of the imperial concubine in "The King of Qin Li Shimin", and the drama "Sun Yat-sen Soong Ching Ling in ". How did she bring these completely different characters to life? Please listen to her speech below." (The audience stared at the rostrum and applauded enthusiastically)

This introductory speech is both humorous and interesting, with outstanding features, clear organization and clear theme. It enthusiastically introduces Zheng Yuzhi herself and her role, and clearly understands the theme of her speech. .

Greetings, let each other feel like spring breeze
Greetings, also known as greetings, are one of the ways for people to establish language communication relationships, and they are the lubricant for conversations. People who are not familiar with each other are familiar with each other, enliven the monotonous atmosphere, and build a bridge of friendship for further conversations between the two parties.

In September 1984, the 9nd round of talks between China and the UK on the Hong Kong issue began at the Diaoyutai State Guesthouse.

Zhou Nan, the Chinese representative, and Ivans, the British representative, met and exchanged pleasantries.

Zhou Nan said: "It is autumn now. I remember that Mr. Ambassador came here in spring, so we have experienced three seasons: spring, summer, and autumn—autumn is the harvest season!"

This meeting was an important negotiation in the history of Sino-British relations, and it took place in the autumn of 1984—a critical moment for reaching an agreement.The content is the recovery of my country's sovereignty over Hong Kong.

In this relaxed greeting, Zhou Nan used hints, puns, and cleverly used the seasonal characteristics of communication, that is, the characteristics of autumn and its symbolic meaning-maturity and harvest, to express our sincere attitude, hope and firm determination, Expressed implicitly and euphemistically.

This kind of greeting is meaningful, with strong pertinence and flexible strategy, and the meaning of infinity is beyond words.

In daily life, there are two main forms of greetings.

1. Greetings on the way

Road encounter greetings are meeting acquaintances on the road or in some public places and saying hello by the way.One is to meet acquaintances who often meet, at this time, just shake hands and say "hello" and "go to work"; if you meet on the road, you just need to nod, smile, and wave your hands , without getting out of the car.The other is when you meet an acquaintance on the road who you haven't seen for a long time, you should stop nodding and say a few more words.If there is something urgent to do, you should make it clear with the other party before leaving. This is the basic common sense in interpersonal communication.

2. Greetings before the meeting
The greetings before the meeting are the greetings when meeting as scheduled, or after the guests come, before talking about the topic.One is the common and minimum way of greeting, such as "hello", "please come in", "please sit down" and so on.The other is the way of greeting under special circumstances. For example, when the patient, the elderly, teachers, friends, or the other party is recovering from a serious illness, after a long journey, or in misfortune, etc., the greetings should be extra considerate and warm. heart.

The content of greetings mainly includes the following categories.

(1) Caring greetings.This is a common way of greeting.Sincere and sincere greetings play an important role in deepening the relationship between people.

(2) Motivational greetings.It is in the few words of pleasantries that give people encouragement and strength.A few pleasantries can give people a lot of motivation.

(3) Humorous greetings.Adding some humorous elements to the greetings is very effective in coordinating the communication atmosphere. Good communication and deep friendship between people are established in this humorous greetings.

(4) Complimentary greetings.No matter who wakes up early in the morning and hears a few compliments such as "You woke up so early" and "You are getting better and better", they will definitely feel that the day is particularly comfortable and happy.Complimentary greetings also need to pay attention to skills, one of which is that the content of compliments should be more specific, so as to have a greater effect.

(End of this chapter)